Arouse a girl. 12 Proven Techniques to Arouse a Woman: A Comprehensive Guide for Men
How do men effectively arouse women. What are the key differences between male and female arousal. Which techniques can enhance a woman’s sexual desire. How can men create emotional connections that lead to arousal. What role does foreplay play in female arousal.
Understanding the Fundamentals of Female Arousal
Arousing a woman is an intricate process that requires finesse, understanding, and patience. Unlike male arousal, which can often be more straightforward and physical, female arousal typically involves a complex interplay of emotional, psychological, and physical factors. To truly master the art of arousing a woman, it’s crucial to first grasp these fundamental differences.
The Physiology of Female Arousal
When a woman becomes aroused, her body undergoes several physiological changes. These can include:
- Increased blood flow to the genitals
- Swelling of the clitoris and labia
- Vaginal lubrication
- Elevated heart rate and breathing
- Flushing of the skin
- Erect nipples
Understanding these physical signs can help men recognize when their partner is becoming aroused. However, it’s important to note that these signs may vary from woman to woman and can be influenced by numerous factors, including stress, hormones, and overall health.
The Psychological Aspects of Female Arousal
While physical touch is important, the psychological component of female arousal cannot be overstated. Many women need to feel emotionally connected, safe, and respected to become fully aroused. This mental state can be influenced by factors such as:
- Stress levels
- Body image
- Relationship satisfaction
- Past sexual experiences
- Cultural and societal influences
By addressing both the physical and psychological aspects of arousal, men can create a more holistic and satisfying sexual experience for their partners.
Creating an Emotional Connection: The Foundation of Female Arousal
One of the most crucial elements in arousing a woman is establishing a strong emotional connection. This connection forms the basis for trust, intimacy, and ultimately, sexual desire. But how can men foster this emotional bond?
Active Listening and Communication
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and it plays a vital role in sexual arousal. By actively listening to your partner, you demonstrate that you value her thoughts, feelings, and desires. This can be achieved through:
- Maintaining eye contact during conversations
- Asking open-ended questions
- Showing genuine interest in her life and experiences
- Offering emotional support during challenging times
By cultivating these communication skills, you create an environment where your partner feels heard and understood, which can significantly enhance her arousal and sexual responsiveness.
Building Trust and Intimacy
Trust is a fundamental component of female arousal. When a woman feels safe and secure with her partner, she’s more likely to relax and allow herself to become aroused. To build trust:
- Be reliable and consistent in your actions
- Respect her boundaries and preferences
- Share your own vulnerabilities and insecurities
- Practice honesty and transparency in all aspects of your relationship
As trust grows, so does the potential for deeper intimacy and more fulfilling sexual experiences.
The Power of Non-Sexual Touch in Arousing Women
While sexual touch is important, non-sexual physical contact can be equally powerful in arousing a woman. This type of touch helps create a sense of closeness and intimacy that can lead to sexual arousal. But what forms of non-sexual touch are most effective?
The Art of Sensual Massage
A sensual massage can be an excellent way to relax your partner and slowly build arousal. Here are some tips for giving a sensual massage:
- Create a comfortable environment with soft lighting and soothing music
- Use a high-quality massage oil or lotion
- Start with gentle, broad strokes and gradually increase pressure
- Pay attention to often-overlooked areas like the scalp, hands, and feet
- Be attentive to your partner’s reactions and adjust accordingly
Remember, the goal of a sensual massage is not necessarily to lead directly to sex, but to create a relaxing and intimate experience that may naturally evolve into sexual arousal.
The Importance of Everyday Affection
Regular, non-sexual physical affection can help maintain a sense of connection and intimacy in a relationship, which can contribute to overall sexual arousal. This can include:
- Holding hands
- Hugging
- Kissing (both quick pecks and longer, more passionate kisses)
- Cuddling
- Gentle caresses or back rubs
By incorporating these forms of touch into your daily interactions, you create a foundation of physical intimacy that can easily transition into sexual arousal when the time is right.
Mastering the Art of Foreplay
Foreplay is an essential component of female arousal, often more so than for men. It allows time for both physical and mental arousal to build, enhancing the overall sexual experience. But what constitutes effective foreplay?
The Role of Anticipation
Building anticipation can be a powerful tool in arousing a woman. This can start long before any physical contact occurs. Consider:
- Sending flirtatious text messages throughout the day
- Leaving love notes for your partner to find
- Planning a romantic date or surprise
- Verbally expressing your desire for your partner
By creating a sense of anticipation, you’re priming your partner’s mind for arousal, making the physical aspects of foreplay even more effective.
Exploring Erogenous Zones
Women have numerous erogenous zones beyond the genitals. Exploring these areas during foreplay can significantly enhance arousal. Some common erogenous zones include:
- The neck and collarbone
- The inner thighs
- The lower back
- The earlobes
- The inner wrists
Remember that every woman is unique, so it’s important to communicate with your partner and pay attention to her responses to discover her personal erogenous zones.
The Importance of Oral Sex in Female Arousal
Oral sex can be a highly effective way to arouse a woman and can often lead to intense orgasms. However, it’s important to approach this intimate act with care and skill. How can men improve their oral sex technique to enhance female arousal?
Techniques for Pleasurable Oral Sex
While every woman’s preferences may differ, here are some general tips for providing pleasurable oral sex:
- Start slowly, building anticipation with gentle kisses and licks
- Focus on the clitoris, but don’t neglect other areas
- Experiment with different tongue movements and pressures
- Use your hands to stimulate other erogenous zones simultaneously
- Pay attention to your partner’s reactions and adjust accordingly
Remember, communication is key. Encourage your partner to give feedback and express her preferences.
The Psychological Aspects of Oral Sex
Beyond the physical sensations, oral sex can have significant psychological effects that contribute to arousal. It can make a woman feel:
- Desired and appreciated
- Comfortable with her body
- Relaxed and free from performance pressure
- Emotionally connected to her partner
By approaching oral sex with enthusiasm and genuine desire to please, you can enhance these psychological benefits and increase overall arousal.
The Role of Mental Stimulation in Female Arousal
While physical touch is important, mental stimulation can be equally powerful in arousing a woman. The brain is often referred to as the largest sex organ, and for good reason. How can men engage a woman’s mind to enhance her arousal?
The Power of Fantasy and Imagination
Encouraging and exploring fantasies can be a potent tool for arousal. This might involve:
- Sharing personal fantasies with each other
- Role-playing scenarios that excite both partners
- Reading erotic literature together
- Watching erotic films as a couple
Remember, fantasies are a normal and healthy part of sexuality. Creating a judgment-free zone where both partners feel safe expressing their desires can greatly enhance arousal and intimacy.
Intellectual Stimulation and Arousal
For many women, intellectual connection can be a powerful aphrodisiac. This might involve:
- Engaging in deep, meaningful conversations
- Sharing interests and hobbies
- Challenging each other intellectually
- Showing genuine interest in your partner’s thoughts and ideas
By nurturing this intellectual connection, you create a more holistic intimacy that can naturally lead to increased sexual desire and arousal.
Understanding and Overcoming Barriers to Female Arousal
While there are many ways to enhance female arousal, it’s equally important to understand and address potential barriers. What are some common obstacles to female arousal, and how can they be overcome?
Stress and Anxiety
Stress and anxiety can significantly impede a woman’s ability to become aroused. To help alleviate these issues:
- Create a relaxing environment for intimacy
- Encourage open communication about stressors
- Practice relaxation techniques together, such as deep breathing or meditation
- Be patient and understanding if your partner is having difficulty becoming aroused
Remember, sometimes the best aphrodisiac is simply helping your partner feel calm and supported.
Body Image Concerns
Negative body image can be a significant barrier to arousal for many women. To help address this:
- Regularly compliment your partner’s appearance and qualities you find attractive
- Avoid making negative comments about your partner’s body
- Express desire and appreciation for your partner’s body during intimate moments
- Encourage open dialogue about body image concerns
By fostering a positive body image, you can help your partner feel more comfortable and confident, which can greatly enhance her ability to become aroused.
In conclusion, arousing a woman is a multifaceted process that involves physical, emotional, and psychological elements. By understanding these aspects and implementing the techniques discussed, men can create more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experiences for their partners. Remember, every woman is unique, so open communication, patience, and a genuine desire to please are key to mastering the art of female arousal.
Men, this is how you arouse a woman!
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01/6Men, this is how you arouse a woman!
Men, if you think women experience arousal the same way you do, you’re wrong and how! Making a woman horny is not something random that you do with little effort. It’s an art in itself and only real men realize this. You might have come across men who brag about themselves thinking that might make a woman fall for them. You might have also seen men ignoring women, thinking playing hard-to-get will make women wet. But it’s all wrong and it only means you need to understand what truly works if you want to arouse a woman. Here are a few things you need to keep in mind.
readmore
02/6Don’t see her as an object
First and foremost, you need to stop seeing women as objects that you can turn on any time you want. A woman should be respected in all ways. She needs to know that she is seen and heard. You need to allow yourself to get vulnerable in front of her. Don’t ever let her feel that she’s a nobody to you.
readmore
03/6It’s all about making your woman feel special
If you think instant dirty talking will help, you need some learning. Dirty talking can surely help, but you shouldn’t begin with it as your first move. The best way to make a woman feel aroused is by making them feel special. How do you do that? Well, for starters, you show her that you’re different from the rest of the men out there. You pay attention to her personality and not her looks. A woman needs to be heard, cared for, she wants to know you’re making an effort.
readmore
04/6Courting – the forgotten art of seduction
Courting in modern-time means talking about the things that you can do for a woman regardless of your bank account, social status, etc. It’s about the little things that mean a lot to a woman. You need to treat her like your friend first, invest time in getting to know her better. Ask her meaningful questions and delve into deep conversations instead of small talks.
readmore
05/6Making a connection = Making a woman horny
A woman might notice a good-looking man who hits the gym and knows tons of big words. But he won’t be able to make her horny just with physical appearance. A man needs to establish an emotional connection with a woman, otherwise, he won’t succeed in turning her on. Allow the woman to express herself, listen to her carefully and reciprocate. It’s about stimulating a woman’s mind instead of her body. Doing this indirectly stimulates her body as it is really hard for a woman to experience arousal without feeling an emotional connection.
readmore
06/6Treat her like she’s the only woman you have eyes for
Flirt with her, be spontaneous, but most importantly, be gentle with her. Don’t show off your masculinity or brag about your achievements. Sure, you can mention certain things that you are really proud of, but don’t let that be the main topic of discussion. If you want to make a woman feel aroused, you need to make an effort at observing her body language and listen to her. This will help you be one step ahead of the game.
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Top 12 Tips & Techniques (For Men) – Promescent
If you’re looking for a way to boost your partner’s arousal and sexual desire, then you’ve come to the right place.
Female vs Male Arousal | Arousal Triggers | Tips to Arouse Women | Takeaways
For most men, pleasing a woman can be very intimidating.
Figuring out what makes her tick and what types of strokes and touches she desires can seem very complicated, but rest assured, you can learn how to pleasure her hotspots and ensure she enjoys herself each and every time.
Pleasing a woman in the bedroom isn’t half as complicated as it seems, and a big part of the battle is simply having the desire to do so.
Quick FAQs
What are the signs of a women getting aroused?
You can detect female arousal by her natural lubrication increasing, pupils dilating, her back arching, nipples getting hard, and facial flushing among other things.
How long does it take for a woman to get aroused?
There are no exacts when it comes to female arousal. It can take just a few minutes and in some circumstances arousal may never come.
Is there anything I can do to increase her arousal?
Yes, we’ll cover 12 tips in detail, including; sensual talk and touch, oral sex, massages, and behavioral characteristics that can lead to arousal. You can also try Promescent Arousal Gel to get things started.
So, if you’re interested and engaged in making the experience pleasurable for her, you’re already halfway there.
The next step to be great in bed with a woman is to understand her body and trigger points in turning her on.
With that being said, sometimes it requires a little more education and know-how than you might think.
Let’s talk about the importance of understanding female arousal triggers, and 12 simple ways to totally arouse a woman that will have her wanting more…more…more.
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The Differences Between Male and Female Arousal
You have probably heard that men and women have different ways of getting aroused in general.
According to the American Psychological Association, men and women not only have big physical differences in how they experience arousal, but mental ones as well.
Due to the differences in the male and female brains, it’s normal that patterns of arousal are not going to be the same.
That’s because the sex-steroid hormones running through our bodies are different in the genders.
In a study performed by Stanford Medicine, they explored how the hormones in women, which are estrogen and progesterone predominantly, and testosterone in males can make the sexual experience different for either sex.
These hormones affect brain chemistry in many ways. And, the way we are socialized also plays a role: Men might prefer visual triggers like watching pornography, while women might prefer to be romanced or feel as though their partner truly sees them and desires them.
So while watching a X-rated video might be all it takes to get you in the mood, she might need a romantic date night or plenty of foreplay like kissing and petting before she’s in the mood.
Understanding Female Arousal Triggers
One of the best ways to get your partner in the mood for sex is to be present and engaged.
Giving your partner your full attention before you reach the bedroom, such as putting your phone away and having a meaningful conversation at the dinner table, will do more to get her in the mood than just lighting a few candles.
That being said, setting the mood is also important.
It’s advisable for men to engage in a bit of ‘choreplay’, that is, helping to clean up the house and do your part when it comes to chores, so that she has more time to relax and practice self-care.
The more she takes care of herself, the more desirable she will feel and the more in the mood she will be for intimacy.
12 of The Best Ways to Arouse A Woman
Men are often compared to a microwave during sex – they’re ready to go instantly.
Women on the other hand are like a crockpot – they need more time to heat up.
This brings us to our first point tip.
1. Don’t Rush Things
Remember, your partner is a crockpot.
So, try to set the mood all day long if you want to have intimacy later that night. You can:
- Send her seductive and flirty text messages
- Compliment her on her new dress
- Wash the dishes so she has time to do yoga
- Have a glass of wine on the couch
Create that relaxed, sexy energy that she desires.
If your partner isn’t the mood for intimacy, you can still connect with her physically in other ways:
- Offer to draw her a bubble bath
- Give her a massage
- Snuggle with her on the couch and watch a movie
- Find ways to engage with her physically like holding her hand or stroking her hair
This will help her to feel bonded and relaxed and could eventually lead to more desire down the road.
2.
Set the Scene
Women love the right atmosphere to get them turned on. That includes candles she loves, soft lighting, and a little romantic music.
All of these elements in your home put together can trigger feelings of sexual desire.
When you set the scene for her, it also shows that you care about her feeling comfortable and desired.
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3. Engage in Eye Contact
Of course, when you are engaged in foreplay you’re going to be taking in the sight of her gorgeous body.
Don’t forget to look her directly in the face with lots of eye contact.
That’s a big turn on for many women who like that direct connection. This simple act can make her feel worshipped and desired.
4. Tell Her How Sexy She Is
Don’t be shy about telling her how beautiful and sexy she is.
This can give her more confidence in the bedroom which will allow her to enjoy the sexual moments you are sharing more.
You can also use this time to talk erotically to her. Tell her all the things you want to do to her, and what you want her to do to you.
5. Utilize Foreplay
Foreplay is a majorly important part of sex. A woman’s body needs time to respond to touch and friction.
If you feel like you as a man are getting aroused too fast with the potential to climax prematurely, it’s probably a good time to try to delay ejaculation by using Promescent Delay Spray.
It’s a patented, doctor-created spray that is recommended by over 2,200 Urologist that can take your bedroom play to the next level.
And don’t worry, if you have this issue you aren’t alone.
The Mayo Clinic estimates that 1 out of 3 men experience this problem at some point during their life.
6. Find All of Her Erogenous Zones
Erogenous zones are the extra-sensitive parts of the body that will respond to sexual pleasure.
So here’s the deal, it’s not all about her vulva (the outer part of the female vagina) and clitoris (which is located inside the labia majora right near the top of her labia minora, or inner labia).
You need to focus attention on other areas of her body too.
Those erogenous areas include her:
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Use a combination of light kisses, slow strokes, and gentle rubbing on these different places to figure out what gets her ready for more.
7. Ask Her What She Likes
Being a good listener is also a turn on for women.
Ask her what she likes and truly listen to her responses. It can definitely give you a better indication of what she’s into.
Pick her brain a little bit even before you start anything. Ask her what her fantasies are. She’s going to want you to tell her what yours are as well.
Sex talk even before the act is a HUGE turn-on.
Talking about sex is certainly a way to get each other in the mood.
8. Pay Attention to Her Cues
Her body is naturally going to tell you that you’re doing something right.
Look for cues or signs of female arousal like her:
- Pupils dilating
- Her back arching
- Nipples getting hard
- Facial flushing
- Her natural lubrication revving up
These are all sure-fire signs that you’re making her desire and want to have sex with you.
9. Display Confidence
Confidence is a major turn-on.
If you emanate confident and assured energy, it’s going to help your partner feel desired, and spark sexual confidence in her as well.
So be bold. Be vulnerable. Be your best self.
Strut your stuff, and know that confidence goes a long way to being good at sexual fun in the bedroom.
10. Be Patient
Most women don’t achieve orgasm as fast as men do.
That’s okay. Be patient with her. Let her take her time and don’t rush through sexual pleasure.
Some women can start to feel self-conscious if they aren’t having an orgasm fast enough.
By taking your time with her, letting her know that you’re enjoying every moment of the experience, it will allow her to relax.
When you put this into consideration, it will help her have a better climax when she’s ready.
11. Give Oral Pleasure, Generously
Don’t be shy with orally pleasuring her. This is sometimes the best way to get a woman to achieve an orgasm during sex.
Not all women have an orgasm with intercourse alone.
In fact, according to a study by the Kinsey Institute, a well-known research group that explores sexual and reproduction topics, women are more likely to have an orgasm when “engaged in a variety of sexual acts, including oral sex.”
Whereas, men can likely achieve orgasm from intercourse alone.
Learn some fun new oral techniques, use your hands as well as your mouth, and don’t forget to vary your pressure.
You’ll be able to feel with your fingers if she’s opening up to you and enjoying your technique.
If this is an area where you don’t feel super confident, it’s time to improve your skills.
Plus, it doesn’t hurt to tell her how much you love doing it.
Some women are afraid their men aren’t enjoying oral sex so it tampers down their enjoyment and relaxation during the act.
Showing your partner that you truly love going down on her will allow her to relish it more.
For help improving your oral sex skills, read our article: A Guide To Cunnilingus: Tips, Techniques, And More
12.
Touch Her All Over
You may feel going to town on her clitoris is the sure-fire way to get her turned on, and it’s one of the best parts, but don’t neglect the rest of her body.
Women loved to be touched all over. Stroke her thighs, rub her back, and squeeze her behind.
Using a combination of all kinds of touching will truly get her hot and heavy into the moment to drive her wild with pleasure.
Takeaways
Having great sex regularly with the one you love is usually a work in progress.
Experimenting with these tips and tricks to find out what arouses your partner in bed will only lead to better sex overall.
You’ll find out quickly what works and what doesn’t get the job done for the woman in your life.
The more engaged you are in her pleasure, the more pleasure you’re going to definitely get in return.
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- 12 Sex Positions To Help You Last Longer In Bed (With Images)
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- 21 Best Foreplay Tips For Men
- Health Benefits Of Sex: For Men, For Women, For Both
- 10 Things That’s Causing Bad Sex & How To Fix It (Men’s Guide)
12 ways (guide to keep handy)
Playboy18+
Don’t know how to turn a girl on to the limit in no time? You are at the right place!
Author Larisa Stebeneva
Shot from the film “The Wolf of Wall Street”
There are many different ways to excite a girl, most of which we will list in this material.
What is better to remember right away?
Everyone is very different
It is impossible to learn how to excite a girl once and for all. Everyone has differently distributed erogenous zones and formed different sexual preferences, so the question “how to do it right” simply cannot have an unambiguous answer.
If your previous partner (or even all your previous partners) liked some way of arousal, it is not certain that the girl who is next to you right now will like it.
If you are aroused, this is not an indicator.
If you are aroused and have an erection, this does not mean that the girl is also aroused. She needs much more time to start. Be patient and take your time. If you succeed, she will be in an aroused state for longer and will be able to have a more powerful orgasm than you (or even several).
Ask her how
The best way to find out about your partner’s preferences is to ask her. Do not be afraid to ask questions, the wording will do: “How do you feel about … (sexual practice, a certain technique)? Do you enjoy it?”, “Do you have any favorite movements outside (inside)? Can you show me?”, “Are there any restrictions – something that you definitely don’t like?”
The main benefits of foreplay for men
- the more time you spend on foreplay, the less chance of premature ejaculation;
- you will know that you were not selfish, and your girlfriend got the same pleasure as you;
- is an incredibly pleasurable process in itself, in the process you can get even more turned on by watching the girl get turned on in front of you.
12 tips on how to turn a girl on
These life hacks you can use, mix with each other and come up with your own options.
Warning: make sure your actions are appropriate. If you are not in a relationship with a girl and you are definitely not sure if she likes you, you do not need to follow our advice. To begin with, it is worth establishing contact with her, pay more attention to your communication.
So let’s go!
1. Sit next to her
If you are in a public place with a girl you like, sit next to her for just a few minutes. You can sit a little closer than usual so that your shoulders accidentally touch.
2. Use a whisper
This is universal advice. You can whisper something to her on the phone, or you can lie with her in the same bed. Whisper has special magic. Enhance the effect with eye contact – look into her eyes when you whisper a compliment.
If your relationship allows, tell her in her ear what you would like to do if you were in the right place to do it right now.
3. Flirting through messages and SMS
Yes, you can turn on words, and written ones. Write to her everything you think about, what you want, what you dream about. It is especially piquant to receive such messages at meetings during business hours.
If fantasy allows, you can write in the genre of the good old virtual sex: “I come up to you, pick you up and kiss you for a long time. Then I lean on the table and begin to unbutton my blouse … ”In the process, you need to ask her questions, involving her in the game.
Also during the day you can try to exchange photos that kindle the fantasy (but we are not talking about dikpic).
4. Play Truth or Dare with her
There can be many of you, and then it will be more fun, maybe four (with another couple in love), and then it will be a little more intimate, or maybe even two . Be bold, ask each other frank questions in turn, and complete tasks honestly.
5. Ask her what she likes (and try it on her right away)
Let her be your teacher and guide to your own body.
Many men believe they know exactly what a woman likes based on their past experiences and porn movies. But, as we said, everyone is very, very different. Before engaging in a sexual relationship, let your partner tell you what she loves. Just talking about it can already turn you both on.
6. Apply Moisturizing Lotion to Her Body After Shower
When your girlfriend gets out of the shower and is about to apply moisturizing lotion to her body, offer to help her. Stand behind, do not squeeze out too much liquid, move from top to bottom, slowly, gradually kissing in all strategically important places.
How to excite a woman – Lifehacker
Likbez
Sex
November 4, 2022
Knowledge of erogenous zones is not enough.
Unfortunately, we must immediately indicate that there is no universal way. But there are moments common to all people that will help set you up for sex.
Make sure that a woman is in the resource
Obviously, if any organism is exhausted to the extreme, it has no time for reproduction, it would be to satisfy its needs. So it is with people: a sleepy or hungry person in stress will not have desire. If a woman is exhausted after a day at work or with children (and sometimes both), no amount of kissing, stroking, biting will work.
If you dream of a passionate lover, give her the opportunity to rest, listen if she needs it, and sometimes even give up sex in favor of hugs.
Evgeniy Saprykin
Sexologist Mental Health Center
Indeed, anxiety, depression, worries switch the brain into protection mode. In conditions of deficiency, lack of something, sexuality is inhibited. At the same time, it turns on if the partner has the necessary resource, can share it, show favor, take care. It remains only to understand what exactly will be a resource and care for your partner in this situation.
Set the mood
If you’re hoping for a romantic evening, try to create the right atmosphere. The recipe will depend on the preferences of the couple: someone will send playful messages to each other all day, someone will cook dinner together to eat it by candlelight, and someone will arrange a massage session.
Evgeny Saprykin
Consider that sex begins long before the first touch and ends strongly after orgasm. Sex is not a single event in a vacuum. You can think of the sexual act itself as the icing on the cake of relationships, situations, conversations. Consider ingredients such as expectation, uncertainty, yearning. These are all important parts of the recipe that enhance the taste of the cake for both you and your partner.
Do what she likes
To do this, observe and discuss preferences, especially if you have been together for a long time. So you will know how to please each other, which lever to press to get a partner. So, you can choose touches, scenarios, poses that she definitely likes. Or try something new, but with an understanding of what is most likely to suit her.
If you are just getting to know each other, it is better to give preference to the classics: stroke your hair, neck and décolleté, kiss and bite your neck and ears, gradually going down. Pay attention to body language and ask her if she likes it during the process. It’s a bad idea to immediately rush at a new partner with a gag and a whip, unless you met on a thematic forum.
Evgeny Saprykin
Do what she likes, and don’t forget to express your desires, your excitement. After all, sexual arousal has two sides: perceptive (“I want him / her”) and receptive (“I see that my partner wants me, and I get excited”). True, it works under other conditions.
Don’t push
Active consent must be obtained before any sexual activity. This is when a person can express in words that he wants sex. To do this, you need to be an adult (and not look like an adult), conscious and not under the influence of alcohol, drugs or threats and coercion. Only in this way, otherwise it is rape or violent acts of a sexual nature.
Remember that consent is given for each type of interaction, not all at once. A girl may be ready to kiss but not want sex. Or want vaginal penetration but be against anal. In addition, consent can be withdrawn at any time: if she changes her mind, you need to stop.
Also, you can’t persuade someone to have sex or any kind of it if the partner said she doesn’t want it.
If you think this is killing romance, try projecting the situation onto yourself. If during sex your partner begins to choke or stimulate you anally, because she thinks that this will only make sex hotter, your arousal may not grow, but disappear. Consent protects the boundaries of a person, and this principle cannot be violated.
Evgeny Saprykin
Sexual arousal is the pursuit of something attractive, not the avoidance of something bad. The thought “if I don’t have sex, something terrible will happen” doesn’t excite anyone. So you can force a person to do something, but not want it. Therefore, for example, a demonstration of resentment, threats of divorce and other punishments for refusal will not work.
Do not try to solve problems in a couple through sex
Strong emotional connection and trusting relationships make sex better, but problems in a couple, on the contrary, kill libido.