8 Surefire Ways to Have a Better Orgasm – Sexual Health Center

Sometimes it takes a little more than just being “in the mood” to reach the big O. Try these tips to find the satisfaction you seek in the sack.

By Beth W. OrensteinMedically Reviewed by Niya Jones, MD, MPH

Reviewed: March 1, 2012

Medically Reviewed

An orgasm is a physical and emotional sensation caused by a series of rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor muscles, the penis, the vagina, and sometimes the uterus as well. Orgasm typically follows a build-up of muscle tension and an increase in blood flow to the genitals, creating a feeling of sexual excitement.

Significant differences exist between men’s and women’s experience of orgasm. Males generally achieve orgasm easier than females, in part because of anatomy. Only about one third of women regularly have orgasms during sexual intercourse alone — most women need direct stimulation of the clitoris as well. Most men don’t have problems reaching orgasm because male orgasm and ejaculation are biologically built into the male sexual response cycle, explains Cynthia Lief Ruberg, LPCC (licensed professional clinical counselor) and a certified sex therapist in Columbus, Ohio.

While women might not have orgasms as effortlessly as men, orgasms can be as intense and satisfying for both sexes. Here are eight ideas to help you reach a better climax.

Concentrate on Your Breathing

Women can take physical and psychological steps to make it easier to have orgasms and make climaxing more reliable, Ruberg says. One physical step is to concentrate on your breathing. Many people find that if they vary their breathing pattern from slow and deep to short and quick it adds to sexual arousal and can help trigger orgasm.

Get in Touch With Your Body

Another way to have better orgasms is by becoming an expert on your own body, Ruberg says. Some women don’t climax because they’ve never learned what excites them sexually. When you’re having sex, pay attention to what kind of touch gives you the most pleasure, Ruberg suggests. Then tell or show your partner what you like — and what you don’t like. Remember, only about 35 percent of women achieve female orgasm through vaginal sexual intercourse alone.

Appreciate Your Body

“If people don’t like their bodies, they will probably be thinking about how they look during sex rather than being in the moment,” Ruberg says. Obsessing over your body’s flaws interferes with your sexual response. In the movies, men may get turned on by a perfect body. But in real life, “most men get more turned on by an interested or interesting partner,” notes Ruberg. You will have better orgasms if you “get your head out of the way” during sex, as she puts it.

Play With Toys

“Using sex toys, such as vibrators, can be a fun and useful way to help women reach orgasm,” Ruberg says, explaining that many women find that vibrators take the “work” out of reaching orgasm. “They also take pressure off one’s partner because having an orgasm becomes the woman’s responsibility,” she says. Some women may find that as they age they need sex toys more. “As you get older, you lose sensation as your hormone levels drop and toys can help with that,” Ruberg says.

Exercise Your Vaginal Muscles

Exercising the muscles that surround the vagina — squeezing or contracting them — helps bring blood to the pelvic floor and build arousal. Women who are able to contract and relax these pubococcygeal (PC) muscles can also increase their male partner’s pleasure and help bring him to orgasm. Men, too, can practice PC muscle exercises to increase the intensity of their orgasms and have better erections.

Try Different Positions

Sometimes, just breaking your usual routine increases your pleasure and leads to better orgasms. One of the best positions for a woman is for her to be on top. “Being on top allows a woman to take control of sex and maximize stimulation,” says Ruberg. Not only can you control the tempo when you’re on top, but you also can control the depth of thrusting. Another position that might lead to better orgasms is doggie style. Keep experimenting to figure out what works best for you and your partner.

Watch a Sexy Movie

Romantic scenes or fantasies can put you and your partner in the mood, thus making sex more pleasurable. “Some women are aroused by reading romance novels,” Ruberg says. “For women, it’s not always about the visuals. It’s more often about the imagination.” Men may need more visual stimulation such as a sex scene in a movie. Either way, setting the mood with sexy DVDs, romantic movies, or erotic stories may help you both have better orgasms.

Hang Your Head

Some women find that, if they hang their head over the side of the bed so that blood rushes to their brain, it heightens their arousal and triggers a better female orgasm. There’s another reason why this strategy may work. Sometimes women simply try too hard to have orgasms, says Ruberg, and “this position will be a distraction and may lead to female orgasm. ”

The final key to better orgasms is to do “whatever works,” Ruberg adds.

13 FAQs About Types, How to Have One, and More

You can orgasm from stimulation to the clitoris, vagina, or cervix — or some combination of the three. You may also be able to orgasm from stimulating other areas of the body as well.

No, “female orgasm” is an all-encompassing term for any type of orgasm related to female genitalia.

It could be clitoral, vaginal, even cervical — or a mix of all three. That said, your genitalia isn’t your only option when it comes to achieving the big O.

Read on for tips on where to touch, how to move, why it works, and more.

Direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris can lead to a clitoral orgasm. When you get your rub on just right, you’ll feel the sensation build in your pleasure bud and peak.

Try this

Your fingers, palm, or a small vibrator can all help you have a clitoral orgasm.

Make sure your clitoris is wet and begin gently rubbing in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion.

As it begins to feel good, apply faster and harder pressure in a repetitive motion.

When you feel your pleasure intensify, apply even more pressure to the motion to take yourself over the edge.

Although few people are able to climax with vaginal stimulation alone, it sure can be fun trying!

If you’re able to make it happen, prepare for an intense climax that can be felt deep inside your body.

The front vaginal wall is also home to the anterior fornix, or A-spot.

Older research suggests that stimulating the A-spot can result in intense lubrication and even orgasm.

Try this

Fingers or a sex toy should do the trick. Since the pleasure comes from the vaginal walls, you’ll want to experiment with width. Do this by inserting an extra finger or two into the vagina, or try a sex toy with some extra girth.

To stimulate the A-spot, focus the pressure on the front wall of the vagina while sliding your fingers or toy in and out. Stick with the pressure and motion that feels the best, and let the pleasure mount.

Cervical stimulation has the potential to lead to a full-body orgasm that can send waves of tingly pleasure from your head to your toes.

And this is an orgasm that can keep on giving, lasting quite a while for some.

Your cervix is the lower end of your uterus, so reaching it means going in deep.

Try this

Being relaxed and aroused is key to achieving a cervical orgasm. Use your imagination, rub your clitoris, or let your partner work some foreplay magic.

The doggy-style position allows for deep penetration, so try being on all fours with a penetrative toy or partner.

Start off slow, gradually working your way deeper until you find a depth that feels good, and keep at it so the pleasure can build.

A combo orgasm can be achieved by pleasuring your vagina and clitoris simultaneously.

The result: a powerful climax that you can feel inside and out.

Be sure to supersize your combo by adding some other erogenous zones to the mix.

Try this

Use both your hands to double your pleasure, or combine fingers and sex toys. Rabbit vibrators, for example, can stimulate the clitoris and vagina at the same time and are perfect for mastering the combo orgasm.

Use parallel rhythms while playing with your clitoris and vagina, or switch it up with fast clitoral action and slow vaginal penetration.

The genitals are awesome, but they’re not your only option. Your body is full of erogenous zones with orgasmic potential.

Nipple

Your nipples are full of nerve endings that can feel oh-so-good when played with.

According to a 2011 study, when stimulated, your nipples set your genital sensory cortex ablaze. This is the same area of the brain that lights up during vaginal or clitoral stimulation.

Nipple orgasms are said to sneak up on you, then explode in waves of full-body pleasure. Yes, please!

Try this: Use your hands to caress and squeeze your breasts and other parts of your body, avoiding the nipples at first.

Move on to teasing your areola by tracing it with your fingertips until you’re really turned on, then show your nipples some love by rubbing and pinching them until you reach maximum pleasure.

Anal

You don’t need to have a prostate to have an anal orgasm. Anal play can be pleasurable for anyone if you have enough lube and take your time.

You can indirectly stimulate erogenous zones within the vagina using a finger or sex toy.

Try this: Apply ample lube with your fingers and massage it around your anus. This won’t just lube you up — it’ll also help get you ready for anal play.

Massage the outside and inside of the opening, then slowly and gently insert your sex toy or finger into your anus. Try a gentle in and out motion, then begin to move in a circular motion. Alternate between the two and pick up the pace as your pleasure builds.

Erogenous zones

Your body really is a wonderland. The neck, ears, and lower back, for example, are rich in erotically charged nerve endings begging to be touched.

We can’t say exactly which parts of your body will drive you to the brink, but we can tell you that everyone has erogenous zones, and finding them is definitely worth the effort.

Try this: Take a feather or silky scarf and use it to find your body’s most sensitive areas.

Get naked and relax so you can focus on every tingle. Take note of these spots, and try experimenting with different sensations, like squeezing or pinching.

Practice makes perfect, so pleasure these areas and keep at it to see how far you can go.

The G-spot is an area along the front wall of your vagina. For some people, it can produce a very intense and very wet orgasm when stimulated.

Your fingers or a curved G-spot vibrator are the best way to hit the spot. Squatting will give you the best angle.

Try this: Squat with the back of your thighs close to or touching your heels, and insert your fingers or toy into your vagina. Curl your fingers up toward your belly button and move them in a “come here” motion.

If you happen to find an area that feels especially good, keep going — even if you feel like you have to pee — and enjoy the full-body release.

Every body is different, and so are their orgasms. Some are more intense than others. Some last longer than others. Some are wetter than others.

What physically happens during orgasm is:

• Your vagina and uterus contract rapidly.
• You experience involuntary muscle contractions in other parts, like your abdomen and feet.
• Your heart rate and breathing quicken.
• Your blood pressure increases.

You may feel a sudden relief of sexual tension, or even ejaculate.

It may be surprising, but they’re not all that different.

Both involve increased blood flow to the genitals, faster breathing and heart rate, and muscle contractions.

Where they typically differ is in duration and recovery — also known as afterglow.

Female orgasm may also last longer, ranging from 13 to 51 seconds on average, while male orgasm often ranges from 10 to 30 seconds.

People with a vagina can typically have more orgasms if stimulated again.

People with a penis typically have a refractory phase. Orgasms aren’t possible during this period, which can last from minutes to days.

People with a clitoris may also go through a similar phase. A 2009 study involving 174 university students found that 96 percent of female participants experienced hypersensitivity in the clitoris following orgasm.

Remember, the range of the refractory phase varies from person to person. Your own experience is unique to you.

Then there’s ejaculation. For a person with a penis, contractions force semen into the urethra and out of the penis. And speaking of ejaculation…

Yes! And it’s a fairly common thing.

A 2013 research review of female ejaculation found that more than 10 to 54 percent of participants experienced ejaculation during orgasm.

Ejaculation occurs when fluid is expelled from your urethral opening during orgasm or sexual arousal.

The ejaculate is a thick, whitish fluid that resembles watered-down milk. It contains some of the same components as semen.

The orgasm gap refers to the gap between the number of male and female orgasms in heterosexual sex, where those with female genitalia are getting the shorter end of the stick.

A 2018 study on orgasms in heterosexual newlywed couples found that 87 percent of husbands and only 49 percent of wives reported consistently experiencing orgasms during sexual activity.

Why the gap? Researchers don’t know for certain. Some argue it could be biological, while others blame cultural and societal perspectives and a lack of education when it comes to pleasure.

If you have a clitoris or a vagina, you know that real-life orgasms can be pretty different from what they show on TV.

The first thing you should do is take the pressure off so you can enjoy yourself.

This is one scenario where it really is more about the journey than the destination.

Instead, take the time to get to know your body and concentrate on how it feels.

You may find it helpful to:

• get comfy somewhere you won’t be interrupted or distracted, like in your bed or the bath
• try reading an erotic story or using your imagination to get yourself in the mood
• massage the fleshy area above your clitoris and the outer and inner lips of your vulva until you begin to get wet, maybe also using lube
• start rubbing your clitoris over the hood and find a rhythm that feels good
• rub faster and harder, increasing the speed and pressure to intensify the feeling, and keep at it until you orgasm

If you don’t orgasm, you can always try again. Trying new things is the best way to figure out what turns you on and how to orgasm.

Some people orgasm more easily than others, so not having one doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong.

If you feel like you’re having trouble climaxing or have other concerns, see a doctor or other healthcare professional who specializes in sexual health.

They can answer any questions you may have and may be able to make some recommendations.

How to increase a man’s orgasm: tips, tricks, life hacks

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It’s great when a man tries his best to please you and bring you to orgasm. Then it becomes no less pleasant to give him such feelings in return. We will show you some interesting and simple tricks that you can apply next time. With their help, you will learn how to bring your partner to a truly impressive orgasm, and you will be ready to wake up a volcano of passion.

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intimate life

Orgasm

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Girls often underestimate the desire of men. But they also want to be wanted. See the fire in the girl’s eyes, watch the flirting and feel the caresses. And, of course, to hear hot words and take the initiative coming from the lady. We willingly believe that your sex life with a young man is rich and boring. But if you want to continue to surprise him in an intimate way, our tips will come in handy. Who knows what he might arrange next time out of gratitude for your new skills.

Make him want you with his head, not just with his body

Foreplay is good not only because it equalizes your chances of getting pleasure. A man needs it no less – so that his emotional intensity does not lag behind physical excitement. Then the feelings in the end will be much brighter. The first caresses are equally important in order to enhance the future orgasm for both men and women. After all, the partner also needs time to “warm up”.

So that his sexual appetite can keep up with his physical mood, try this. When you kiss, change light bites to squeezes and just touch. Run your lips over his neck up to his ear. The lobes are a sensitive part of the body that many people neglect in bed. Just remember how you get goosebumps when someone whispers in your ear. You can kiss her, play with her earlobe with her tongue. This will cause a surge of hormones that are responsible for moral arousal.

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By the way, the representatives of the stronger sex themselves note that with the foreplay, the process of making love becomes longer, and the excitement reaches its highest point. It helps to bring not only a man, but also a woman to a strong orgasm.

According to statistics, about 56 percent of the young people surveyed admit that they agree to foreplay only for the pleasure of their wife. But in the case when they are caressed, they are almost unanimously in favor. Slow mutual tenderness and kisses make it possible to restore the energy lost during the day and get ready for the main action.

Don’t be in a hurry to get naked

Passionately ripping off clothes from yourself or from each other and throwing them on a chandelier is, of course, cool. But you can go another way, no less spectacular and enchanting.

Pull back slightly and, looking into the eyes of your loved one, slowly and sensually take off one piece of clothing after another. Even if you don’t have a pole and stripper skills, everything is decided by the situation and your passionate mood. Love yearning acts as a great way to make an explosive orgasm for a man and delight his eyes, admire you in all your glory.

So don’t forget to include a dish called the long wait in the menu. And imagine how his fantasy will play out at this moment! The erotic thoughts that he dreams of bringing to life are as important for a man as they are for a girl.

Touch his penis

If a person goes to the gym, he always starts with a warm-up. Intimate places need a warm-up no less than triceps and quadriceps.

How to caress a penis with your hand

Before you start sexual games, warm up his penis with light strokes from the base to the head. In this way, you will awaken many nerve endings and increase sensitivity by recalibrating the pleasure center in his brain. Yes, so that he reacts even to slight stimulation.

Let’s not repeat once again that self-satisfaction is good for health. Discharge saves men from prostatitis and problems with the urinary tract. And if a girl knows how to enhance a man’s orgasm and masturbation is used for this, the partner will be doubly pleased. Trembling touches to the object of their pride can work wonders.

Do not miss oral caresses

Before you let your partner’s cock in, devote some time to oral caresses. This is one of the best opportunities to enhance a man’s orgasm during a blowjob.

How to give a blowjob

Slide your tongue up and down the shaft a few times, then spend a few minutes on the frenulum. Tickle her with your tongue, then following the so-called seam between the testicles. In general, men have continuous nerve bundles and receptors there. You need to follow these sensual paths carefully and gently. So a chain reaction of delight is definitely provided. Then immediately allow him to enter you while his nerves are still on edge.

Hold him at peak

When you caress a man, several times let him come to the very edge of bliss, but don’t let him step over the edge. As soon as you feel that he is almost “everyone”, stop, let him catch his breath. But do not break contact at all, so as not to lose a fighter, maintain intimacy with kisses.

Continue light, leisurely strokes. When your partner’s breathing is restored, return to the previous speeds. Such changes in pace allow a man to increase his orgasm many times over, as if now he will win his main prize. The ecstasy will be much more intense and the finale more colorful.

Make the most of every moment

When his pleasure reaches a critical level and a guy… hmm, “starts to cum” is not the time to sit back and slow down. We will show you how to bring your man to a strong and impressive orgasm.

Speed ​​up your movements! Men tend to slow down during orgasm, basking in waves of heady adrenaline. But if you keep the stimulation to the bitter end, he will enjoy every second of the climax. No wonder sexologists claim that a delayed orgasm is stronger and longer than usual. And this rule applies to both partners.

The only thing is that a little skill is needed in this matter. But we assume that such training will be pleasant for both of you.

Five Ways to Feel the “Skin Orgasm”

• David Robson
• BBC Future

11 July 2015

Image copyright Getty 900 03

Several different things can cause a strange feeling of bliss that is not related to sexual satisfaction and known as “skin orgasm” or frisson.

Goosebumps, mild tremors in the limbs and rapid heartbeat – these unusual physical sensations are known to almost everyone. They got the name “frisson” – from the French word “frisson” (to tremble). Some are so aroused that scientists sometimes refer to the phenomenon as a “skin orgasm. ”

As I wrote recently, most often this state is caused by music. From a physiological point of view, “frisson” occurs due to the fact that certain melodies are able to “tickle” the pleasure centers in our brain, causing a powerful dose of dopamine.

This causes a feeling of euphoria, which is accompanied by a strong bodily reaction, in particular goosebumps and trembling.

After the publication of the article, I received many questions from our readers who were interested in whether other things that are not musical or sexual in origin can cause frisson. I looked through a lot of scientific literature until I found a little-known study conducted in 2010 by scientists at the Hannover School of Music and Drama, Oliver Grewe and his colleagues.

Image copyright, Thinkstock

Image caption,

The rustling of leaves often produces a pleasurable shivering sensation known as a “skin orgasm” or “frisson”

In the experiment, the researchers tested participants’ sensory responses to various stimuli. They listened to songs, or non-musical sounds like a child laughing or rustling leaves, looked at pictures that could evoke certain emotions, inhaled different smells, and even got a head massage.

During the experiment, the researchers used equipment to monitor people’s physiological responses: heart rate, breathing, and skin reactions, and asked about their feelings.

The scientists were able to compare test results with people’s reports of feeling Frisson to see how similar these physiological responses are.

It turned out that various types of stimuli cause sensations that are more or less similar to frisson. Even the sour taste of lemons – hardly a favorite flavor for many people – gave the 16 participants the familiar goosebumps we usually associate with the climax of musical pleasure.

It may seem strange, but part of the source of the frisson is stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system, which normally responds to threat. Perhaps that is why the unexpected dissonance of a melody, or a strong taste, causes a pleasant irritation of the system, which automatically reacts to a threat to the body.

It is a bit surprising that the least reaction was caused by visual sources – paintings or photos. But this can be explained by the fact that more information is needed for their perception.

In the next phase of the study, participants were allowed to choose their favorite song or scene from a movie. As they listened or watched, the participants measured their piloerection level (the scientific name for goosebumps) and their heart activity.

Of course, both music and films caused a change in heart rate (a characteristic feeling of vibration inside), as well as tremors on the skin.

Image copyright Thinkstock

Image caption

Frisson can call and watch the slow movements of a barista preparing coffee

By the way, a movie doesn’t have to be a blockbuster. Some people have experienced a pleasurable scalp tingling sensation (called the autonomic sensory meridian response) when they have watched others perform certain actions slowly.

For example, I always have a pleasant feeling when I watch a barista make me coffee.

So the source of the frisson is usually five things: musical melody, non-musical sounds, movies, food, and sensory contact. Perhaps there are others. In fact, the 17 participants in Professor Greve’s experiment felt shivers just remembering pleasant experiences of their own, a phenomenon researchers call “mental frisson.”

Considering that Frisson has a number of proven benefits, such as being able to reduce pain or promote a desire to help others, this is a skill worth cultivating. At the very least, the sweet tingle of a Frisson is another reason to seize the moment and enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

• Music – Notable pieces of music that often evoke a musical “skin orgasm” include Adele’s “Someone Like You”, Sergei Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto No.