How to give a female an orgasm. Maximizing Pleasure: Expert Tips for Achieving Female Orgasms
How can you set the mood for a more enjoyable sexual experience. What are effective techniques for stimulating the clitoris. Which positions are best for vaginal orgasms. How do sex toys enhance pleasure and orgasm potential. What role does communication play in sexual satisfaction.
Creating the Perfect Atmosphere for Intimacy
The journey to a satisfying orgasm often begins long before any physical contact. Setting the right mood is crucial, especially for individuals with vulvas who may require more time to build arousal. Here are some expert-recommended strategies to create an inviting and sensual atmosphere:
- Dim the lights to create a soft, romantic ambiance
- Light scented candles or use incense for aromatic pleasure
- Put on sensual music to engage the auditory senses
- Wear enticing lingerie or clothing that makes you feel confident
- Offer a relaxing massage to ease tension and increase intimacy
These preparatory steps can significantly enhance the overall experience by engaging multiple senses and promoting relaxation. Remember, a relaxed state of mind is essential for achieving intense orgasms.
The Art of Clitoral Stimulation
For many vulva owners, clitoral stimulation is the key to reaching orgasm. This highly sensitive organ contains thousands of nerve endings, making it a focal point for pleasure. To maximize clitoral stimulation:
Communication is Key
Open dialogue with your partner about their preferences is crucial. Do they prefer direct or indirect stimulation? What pressure feels best? Encourage feedback during intimate moments to fine-tune your technique.
Explore the Entire Clitoral Structure
The visible part of the clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg. The internal structure extends further and can be stimulated through the labia. Try cupping the entire vulva with your hand and applying gentle pressure or using a vibrating toy along the length of the labia.
Master the Art of Oral Sex
Oral stimulation can be incredibly pleasurable for many individuals. Some tips to enhance oral sex include:
- Start with gentle licks around the inner thighs to build anticipation
- Use varying pressures and intensities with your tongue
- Incorporate your hands for additional stimulation
- Make eye contact to increase intimacy
- Express your enjoyment verbally to heighten arousal
Unlocking the Secrets of Vaginal Orgasms
While clitoral orgasms are more common, some individuals can experience intense pleasure through vaginal stimulation. The key to vaginal orgasms often lies in G-spot stimulation. This erogenous zone is located on the front wall of the vagina, about 2-3 inches inside.
Positions for G-spot Stimulation
Certain sexual positions can more effectively target the G-spot:
- Doggy style: This position allows for deep penetration and direct G-spot contact
- Cowgirl: When the receiving partner is on top, they can control the angle and pressure
- Modified missionary: Placing a pillow under the receiving partner’s hips can change the angle of penetration
Can everyone achieve a vaginal orgasm? It’s important to note that not all individuals with vulvas can reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. This is completely normal and doesn’t diminish the quality of one’s sexual experiences.
Incorporating Sex Toys for Enhanced Pleasure
Sex toys can be powerful allies in the quest for orgasmic bliss. They can provide consistent stimulation and reach areas that might be challenging to stimulate manually. How can you introduce sex toys into your intimate encounters?
- Start with a conversation about boundaries and interests
- Shop for toys together to ensure both partners are comfortable
- Begin with versatile toys like vibrators that can be used externally and internally
- Experiment with different settings and techniques
- Use toys as a complement to, not a replacement for, human touch
Are there specific toys designed for G-spot stimulation? Yes, many toys are curved or angled specifically to target the G-spot. These can be particularly effective when combined with clitoral stimulation.
The Power of Communication in Sexual Satisfaction
Effective communication is perhaps the most crucial element in achieving satisfying orgasms. How can partners improve their sexual communication?
- Practice active listening without judgment
- Use positive reinforcement to encourage desired behaviors
- Be specific about what feels good and what doesn’t
- Discuss fantasies and boundaries outside of sexual encounters
- Check in regularly about sexual satisfaction and desires
Open and honest communication not only enhances physical pleasure but also deepens emotional intimacy between partners.
Understanding the Orgasm Gap
Research indicates a significant disparity in orgasm frequency between heterosexual men and women, often referred to as the “orgasm gap.” What factors contribute to this phenomenon?
- Lack of comprehensive sex education
- Societal taboos surrounding female pleasure
- Overemphasis on penetrative sex in mainstream media
- Insufficient focus on foreplay and non-genital stimulation
- Performance anxiety and body image issues
Addressing these factors through education, communication, and a willingness to explore diverse forms of sexual expression can help bridge the orgasm gap.
The Role of Mental and Emotional Factors in Orgasm
While physical stimulation is important, the mind plays a crucial role in achieving orgasm. How do psychological factors influence sexual pleasure?
Stress and Anxiety
High levels of stress can inhibit arousal and make it difficult to reach orgasm. Practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness can help alleviate this issue.
Body Image
Negative body image can distract from pleasure and create performance anxiety. Fostering a positive relationship with one’s body through self-care and positive affirmations can enhance sexual experiences.
Trust and Intimacy
Feeling safe and connected with a partner can significantly impact orgasmic potential. Building emotional intimacy through open communication and shared experiences can lead to more satisfying sexual encounters.
Exploring Beyond Traditional Notions of Orgasm
While achieving orgasm is often seen as the ultimate goal of sexual activity, it’s important to broaden our understanding of sexual pleasure. How can we move beyond orgasm-centric thinking?
- Focus on the journey of pleasure rather than a specific end goal
- Explore different types of touch and stimulation beyond genital focus
- Practice mindful sex to enhance sensory experiences
- Embrace the concept of multiple orgasms or extended orgasmic states
- Recognize that satisfying sexual experiences don’t always require orgasm
By expanding our definition of sexual satisfaction, we can create more inclusive and fulfilling intimate experiences for all individuals.
The Importance of Self-Exploration
Self-knowledge is a powerful tool in achieving sexual satisfaction. How can individuals with vulvas benefit from self-exploration?
Masturbation as a Learning Tool
Regular masturbation allows individuals to discover what types of touch and stimulation they enjoy most. This knowledge can then be communicated to partners for more satisfying partnered sex.
Body Mapping
Taking time to explore one’s entire body can reveal unexpected erogenous zones and broaden the range of pleasurable sensations.
Mindful Self-Touch
Practicing mindful self-touch, focusing on sensations without judgment, can deepen one’s connection to their body and enhance overall sexual experiences.
By prioritizing self-exploration, individuals can become more confident and articulate about their sexual needs and desires.
The Impact of Hormones and Health on Sexual Function
Various physiological factors can influence sexual response and orgasmic potential. How do hormones and overall health affect sexual function?
Hormonal Fluctuations
Menstrual cycles, pregnancy, and menopause can all impact libido and sexual response. Understanding these changes can help individuals and their partners navigate sexual experiences more effectively.
Chronic Health Conditions
Certain medical conditions and medications can affect sexual function. Open communication with healthcare providers about sexual concerns is crucial for addressing these issues.
Pelvic Floor Health
The strength and flexibility of pelvic floor muscles play a significant role in sexual pleasure and orgasmic intensity. Pelvic floor exercises can improve sexual function and overall health.
By addressing health and hormonal factors, individuals can optimize their sexual wellness and enhance their capacity for pleasure.
The Evolution of Sexual Pleasure Technology
Advancements in sex toy technology have revolutionized the landscape of sexual pleasure. What innovative features are enhancing the potential for orgasmic experiences?
- App-controlled devices for long-distance intimacy
- Toys with air-pulse technology for clitoral stimulation
- Dual-action vibrators for simultaneous internal and external stimulation
- Temperature-responsive materials for realistic sensations
- Virtual reality integration for immersive experiences
These technological innovations offer new avenues for exploration and pleasure, particularly for individuals who may face challenges with traditional forms of sexual stimulation.
Embracing Sexual Diversity and Inclusivity
Recognizing and celebrating sexual diversity is essential for creating a more inclusive understanding of pleasure and orgasm. How can we broaden our perspectives on sexual experiences?
LGBTQ+ Inclusivity
Acknowledging that sexual experiences extend beyond heteronormative concepts is crucial. This includes understanding the diverse ways in which individuals of all gender identities and sexual orientations experience pleasure and orgasm.
Disability and Sexuality
Recognizing that individuals with disabilities have sexual needs and desires, and exploring adaptive techniques and tools to enhance their sexual experiences.
Age and Sexuality
Challenging ageist stereotypes about sexuality and recognizing that sexual pleasure and orgasmic potential can continue throughout one’s lifespan.
By embracing a more inclusive view of sexuality, we can create a society where all individuals feel empowered to explore and enjoy their sexual selves.
The Future of Orgasm Research and Sexual Wellness
As our understanding of human sexuality continues to evolve, what areas of research hold promise for enhancing orgasmic experiences?
- Neurological studies on the brain during orgasm
- Exploration of non-genital orgasms
- Development of personalized sexual wellness treatments
- Investigation into the potential health benefits of regular orgasms
- Research on the intersection of sexual pleasure and mental health
Ongoing scientific inquiry into the complexities of human sexuality holds the potential to unlock new pathways to pleasure and overall well-being.
In conclusion, achieving satisfying orgasms is a multifaceted process that involves physical, emotional, and psychological elements. By embracing open communication, exploring diverse forms of stimulation, and maintaining a curious and playful attitude towards sexuality, individuals and couples can enhance their intimate experiences and deepen their connections. Remember that every person’s journey to sexual satisfaction is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to achieving orgasm. Embrace the exploration, celebrate the diversity of human sexuality, and prioritize pleasure in all its forms.
How to Make a Woman Orgasm: Advice From Sex Therapists
- Set the mood by dimming the lights, giving each other massages to relax, or lighting candles.
- To give someone a clitoral orgasm, be sure to stimulate the entire area and ask your partner what they like.
- To give someone a vaginal orgasm, try positions like doggy style and cowgirl to stimulate the G-spot.
Making someone with a vulva orgasm can be tricky. While 95% of heterosexual men report that they always or usually orgasm from sex, only 65% of heterosexual women say the same.
Furthermore, it’s estimated that just about 18% of women say penetration alone is enough to have an orgasm, and that about 37% of women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm.
Needless to say, people with vulvas need some extra TLC and special attention to erogenous zones in order to become fully aroused, feel pleasure, and ultimately, have an orgasm.
Here are some sex therapist approved tips for giving someone with a vulva an orgasm.
Set the mood
Before diving right into sexual activity, it can help to set the mood. Compared to people with penises, vulva owners tend to need more time to build arousal, says Sari Cooper, LCSW, certified sex therapist and founder and director of the Center for Love and Sex.
You can set the mood by tapping into your partners’ senses, depending on their personal preferences. For example, Cooper says you may try:
- Having you and/or your partner slip into something sexy
- Dimming the lights in a romantic way
- Lighting candles or incense for pleasurable scents
- Giving each other erotic massages to relax the body
These are steps you can take to not only help your partner get turned on, but also to help them relax, which is essential for having a great orgasm. As always, communication is key. Listen carefully to what your partner says so that you can cultivate an environment and experience that’s sexy to them.
How to give someone a clitoral orgasm
Clitoral stimulation is key for many people with vulvas. Here are four tips for giving someone a clitoral orgasm.
1. Ask your partner what they like
The clitoris is very nerve-dense and incredibly sensitive, says Jordan Rullo, PhD, certified sex therapist with women’s health app Flo.
Due to its sensitivity, some people may prefer indirect clitoral stimulation instead of direct stimulation.
Everyone’s different, so communicating with your partner and asking them what they like can save you some trouble and result in more pleasure for them.
“If they don’t know, try circular rubbing on the clitoris and near the clitoris, all along asking your partner how it feels or using their non-verbal cues to guide your movements,” says Rullo.
If you aren’t getting a lot of obvious signs that your partner is feeling good, you can ask one-word easy questions to keep the vibe going, Cooper says. For example, she says you can ask:
- More?
- Circles?
- Strokes?
- Softer?
2. Stimulate the entire clitoris
The clitoris is more than just the external pea-sized bump at the top of the vaginal lips — there are also the bulbs of the clitoris, comprised of erectile tissue, which can actually be stimulated through the labia, says Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, sexologist and host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast.
To do this, O’Reilly says you can cup your hand around their lips, resting your hand on the pelvic mound, and then pulse, rub, or grind in this area. Or, you can use a vibrating toy across the entire length of the lips.
3. Give oral sex
For many people, oral sex can be a surefire path to pleasure and orgasm, says O’Reilly. When giving oral sex, O’Reilly recommends trying out these tips:
- Lick around the thighs first to build anticipation
- Stick your tongue out and press it against their lips, moving your head slowly back and forth like you’re shaking your head “no”
- Use your thumb to rub the clitoris while using your mouth lower on the vagina
- Experiment with different pressure and intensities
- Follow the rhythm of their hips
- Look up at them and make eye contact
- Tell them how much you love going down on them
4.
Use sex toys
Incorporating sex toys in the bedroom is a great way to bring some new excitement into sex as well as increase likelihood of orgasm.
Cooper says you can ask your partner to show you how they like to use toys themselves so you get to learn what they like, and from there, you can follow their lead or add in some of your own moves.
Typical vibrators are great, or your partner may prefer a newer type of toy that creates suction and uses air for different types of sensations.
Best sex toys
Alyssa Powell/Business Insider
If you are looking to incorporate toys in the bedroom but aren’t sure where to start, check out our guide to the best sex toys.
- Best vibrator for couples involving females: We-Vibe Tango X – See at We-Vibe
- Best budget vibrator: Vibe – See at Maude
- Best butt plug: Anal Training Kit & Education Set – See at B-Vibe
How to give someone a vaginal orgasm
When people talk about vaginal orgasms, they’re typically referring to G-spot orgasms. The G-spot is an erogenous zone that’s about two inches deep into the vagina, on its front wall. It’s believed that G-spot orgasms occur because it’s actually the internal parts of the clitoris being stimulated. Here are four tips for giving someone this type of orgasm.
1. Be sure they’re warmed up
If someone’s going to have a vaginal orgasm, it’s more likely to occur if they’ve had a clitoral orgasm first, Cooper says. So, you may want to use the above tips for clitoral orgasm before moving internally. Additionally, O’Reilly suggests only going for G-spot stimulation once someone is highly aroused to make the experience more comfortable and pleasurable in general.
2. Use your fingers
To stimulate the G-spot manually, insert a finger and feel for a sponge-like area, and then do a “come hither” motion with your finger to stimulate the area, starting off slowly and then eventually going faster and using more pressure, says Rullo.
Additionally, you can add another finger if your partner would like. Be sure to follow along with verbal and non-verbal cues to see what feels good for them, and don’t hesitate to ask for feedback so you know what they really want.
3. Find the right positions
If you move on to penetrative sex, whether with a penis or a strap-on, Cooper says to aim for positions that make the G-spot easier to access. You can also try positions that put your partner in control, so that they can angle themselves to be hitting their G-spot and control the depth and intensity. A few positions great for G-spot orgasms are:
- Missionary (place a pillow or wedge under their hips to get a better angle)
- Doggy style
- Cowgirl
4. Use sex toys
There are plenty of sex toys to choose from that are meant for the G-spot. Additionally, Cooper says you can opt for toys such as rabbit vibrators which will stimulate both the G-spot and the clitoris, which gives your partner the opportunity for a blended orgasm, and an increased chance at giving them an orgasm in general.
Insider’s takeaway
These tips are a great place to start if you’re looking to pleasure your partner with a vulva, but don’t forget to learn what your partner specifically likes so you have the best chance of pleasing them and giving them an orgasm. “Everybody is different, so communicate with your partners to find out what they like and keep an open mind. Explore for pleasure rather than touching to create one specific outcome,” says O’Reilly.
Ashley Laderer
Ashley Laderer is a freelance writer from New York who specializes in health and wellness. Follow her on Twitter @ashladerer
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How to Give A Woman an Orgasm – Promescent
How Female Arousal Works | Tips to Make Her Orgasm | Pro Tips for Better Orgasms | Takeaways
You’re looking to please your female partner during sex, so you Google: “how to make a girl orgasm. “
Congratulations—you’ve just stepped into a rabbit hole of female orgasm information.
Some of what you read on other blogs may be the truth, but much of what you stumble across will be fiction.
It’s really no wonder guys are bumbling and fumbling in the bedroom, trying desperately to get it right and just having no luck.
In fact, studies have shown that only six percent of women always have an orgasm during sex, and the numbers have seemed to be on a decline since 1999.
Blame it on an overload of internet information, blame it on pornography, or blame it on what you will.
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Fact is, if you really want to know how to give her an orgasm, you have to get your ego in check, realize there may be a lot to learn outside of “educational” porn clips, and settle in for an informative experience—don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.
Why can’t I seem to find her G-Spot?
The G-spot is located just inside the front wall of the vagina and can be very difficult to find if she is not aroused. Once aroused, her urethral sponge or G-Spot will become swollen as blood rushes to it, making it much easier to locate.
What are the signs of female arousal?
There are several indicators that a woman is aroused, ranging from increased wetness, erect nipples, dilated pupils, and increased pulse, just to name a few.
What triggers female arousal?
Sight, smell, touch, communication… the list goes on, but Promescent makes a female arousal spray that is sure to help get things started.
Can all women have a G-Spot orgasm?
Studies show that some women can find G-spot stimulation irritating. In contrast, others do not experience any pleasure from G-Spot stimulation during certain times of their monthly cycle. So, you may want to try at different times during the month to see if she is more sensitive to stimulation at different times of her cycle.
Techniques to Give Her Better Orgasms
1. Try a Delay Spray to Last Longer
About one in three men experience premature ejaculation, and some men deal with the issue on a regular basis.
The problem is, it can take women longer to reach orgasm than men already, so premature ejaculation issues can make it even harder to help her get over the threshold when you’ve already finished.
If you consistently hit your climax point and the refractory period before she gets anywhere near the big bang, it may be wise to dry a delay spray to help you last longer in bed.
The average point of climax for a female is more than 13 minutes.
For example, Promescent Delay Spray for Men is applied to the most sensitive parts of your penis just before sex to help you slow down the process just enough to put you on an even keel with your female partner.
2. Learn How to Be Better at Foreplay
Women are more likely to need a little encouragement before their body starts to respond, which means foreplay is a huge factor in delivering better orgasms and maybe even delivering orgasms at all.
Foreplay is the warm-up phase for a female. This warm-up period builds anticipation, encourages blood flow to her lady parts, and triggers natural lubrication.
And, there is a direct link between foreplay and the intensity or satisfaction with her orgasm.
So, unless she seems all about a heat-of-the-moment throwdown, don’t skip it.
Foreplay tips for men to use on a woman are relatively abundant, and even injecting just a few tricks can really make a difference in her ability to climax either before or during intercourse.
The top three tips to remember about foreplay:
- Don’t rush it and don’t act like it’s just some obligatory act you’re being forced to do. Let her see you enjoy the process just as much as she does.
- Start foreplay outside of the bedroom by stimulating her emotionally and mentally. Tell her how sexy she is, whisper something seductive in her ear, do something to take some stress out of her day.
- Be gentle and start slow. Don’t just dive all in with your fingers and expect her to respond. Caress her, rub her, massage her, kiss her.
3. Mind Your Exercise and Diet
Yes, really.
BUT, if you really want to give her a better orgasm, getting in shape and increasing your stamina can be a REALLY big deal. Here are a few thoughts to explain why:
- You overloaded on pizza and beer, and then you try to have sex with a bloated gut, making it harder to grind against her clitoris during penetration.
- You’ve been slacking in the workout/diet department, gained some pounds, and lost some strength. She wants to try a new position to help her orgasm, but you’re too out of shape to oblige.
- You’ve followed a diet of caffeine and junk for weeks. She’s slow to reach orgasm, and you just don’t have the stamina to get her there.
4. Get the Conversation Started and Keep On Talking
Verbalizing about sex doesn’t come naturally for everyone, but the more you can talk, exchange ideas, and give guidance in the bedroom, the more equipped you both will be to please each other.
It doesn’t hurt to ask her what she likes, what really gets her to her breaking point, and even how she gets herself off when playing solo.
You may be amazed at what you learn and just how you’ve been doing it all wrong.
Once you’ve started talking about how to give her an orgasm, keep the communication lines flowing even when you make it to the bedroom.
Don’t be afraid to:
- Ask her if she likes it when you rub her this way
- Ask her if you’re hitting her G-spot
- Ask her if she wants a new position to help her finish
All this sexy talk isn’t all about getting guidance; it can also be a highly arousing exchange for both of you.
5. Don’t Shy Away from Sex Toys
Ladies often reach for vibrators and other sex toys for some solo play, but there is nothing wrong with bringing them into the equation when it’s the two of you.
If she’s having a harder time getting there with just your stimulation alone (or if you just want to have fun), consider picking out some toys.
The sex toy lineup out there these days is all-out impressive.
Wands meant to directly hit the G-spot, strap-in-place vibrators for ongoing clitoral stimulation, and even cock rings that have fancy protruding ticklers on top that wriggle and gyrate for her C-spot—the list could go on forever.
Make a game of picking out a toy you both want to try, and give it a go. You may find all-new ways to cause a female orgasm in the process.
6. Pick the Sexual Positions Most Apt to Encourage Orgasm
If you’re shooting to make her orgasm in a certain way, taking advantage of certain positions can really help. Check out our guide on sex positions to last longer.
For example:
- Missionary (you on top) can be good for clitoral orgasms because you can grind right against her clitoral area
- Cowgirl (her on top) can be great for G-spot orgasms but also allows her to control pressure on her clitoral area for orgasmic control there too
- Rear-Entry (doggy style) can be an awesome way to hit her G-spot
7.
Use Lube for Frictionless Pleasure
When a female gets aroused, her body produces a natural lube, and she can create an abundance of it most of the time.
This lube keeps her vaginal opening and clitoris wet so there is no friction during play and intercourse and she can enjoy stimulation more and reach orgasm easier.
It is perfectly normal for the amount of natural lube for females to be lacking sometimes, so you may need a little help to deter friction at times.
Pick a high-quality lube like this premium organic lube from Promescent, which is pH-balanced and safe with condoms.
The Female Anatomy and Arousal Process Explained
Basically, most women can have two types of orgasms with the proper stimulation: an internal (vaginal) orgasm that usually happens during some type of penetration and an external clitoral (C-spot) orgasm.
To better understand the female orgasm, you have to first get familiar with two hot spots of the female anatomy.
The G-spot
No doubt you’ve heard about it, you may have tried to find it, and it is a little elusive in the eyes of most men.
The G-spot is one of the most sensitive internal parts of the female anatomy and is suspected to play a role in the vaginal orgasm.
- But, where is it?
- What does it feel like?
- Where can you find it?
You shouldn’t feel bad if you have a hard time pinpointing the G-spot. The targeted “spot” can vary depending on the woman and her personal anatomy.
G-spot is short for the Gräfenberg spot.
Most often, the spot is located no more than four inches inside the vaginal opening. The spot is actually facing her spinal column.
You may find it by using one or two fingers, palm up, and stroking in a “come-hither” motion.
Some say the spot feels a bit like a walnut because the skin is slightly tougher and maybe a bit wrinkly. However, your biggest indicator that you’ve found it is her reaction.
In fact, she can probably do a good job of pointing you in the right direction, so don’t be afraid to ask.
The C-Spot
The C-spot is just a fancy way to refer to the clitoris, and any man learning how to give her an orgasm must get really educated about this part of the female anatomy.
The clitoris is actually a wishbone-shaped area located above the vaginal opening.
Literally, thousands of nerve-endings make up the clitoral area, and the apex of the C-spot is the tiny pearl of flesh located just under the clitoral hood.
More women actually experience a clitoral orgasm than a vaginal orgasm, and it doesn’t always happen during sexual intercourse.
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A Look at Her Arousal Process and Setting the Mood
Guys are more likely to be standing at full attention and ready to roll right away. Women can need a little more encouragement.
The typical arousal process for a female usually looks something like what follows:
Desire – The desire to have sex is where it all starts. Her skin may flush, blood flow increases to her nipples and her clitoris, and her internal walls may start to produce lubrication and swell.
Arousal – Arousal is the state before orgasm. Her body is gaining sexual tension, so her muscles may become tenser, she will likely produce more lubrication, and her nipples may grow erect and her clitoris even more sensitive.
Orgasm – The peak point of arousal when the stars align, the heavens open up, and the angels sing. Okay, so physically speaking, her body is wracked with waves of pleasurable contractions, she takes in more oxygen, her blood pressure rises, and she reaches a point of release when the tension building to this point is finally released.
Resolution – Resolution is the finality, the blissful, relaxed time after an orgasm when all is right with the world. The body is enjoying those doses of oxytocin produced during orgasm and returning to normal.
Your process looks a lot the same but can happen in rapid-fire succession. She may need a little help from you to really work through the earliest stages.
Set the mood by:
- Treating her well; making her happy
- Caressing her lovingly
- Kissing her
- Lowering the lights
- Showing her you’re interested
- Expressing what you want to do to her
The Different Ways to Make Her Orgasm
With your brushed-up knowledge on her anatomy and arousal process, you are almost ready to induce female orgasm. Nevertheless, you should also know, just like you, she can have an orgasm in different ways.
Orgasm from Finger/Hand Play
Females usually use their own hands and fingers to make themselves orgasm during masturbation, and there’s no doubt you can do the same with a little guidance from her.
Using your hands and fingers to make her come gives you a little more control over the situation than during penetration, which may be necessary if she usually has a hard time getting there during sex.
Orgasm from Penetration
It is a common misconception that women should always have an orgasm during sex, but this is actually the hardest to pull off for a few reasons:
- Inducing orgasm during penetration may require a specific position
- Inducing orgasm during penetration may require simultaneous clitoral stimulation for a woman who has a harder time reaching vaginal orgasms
- Inducing orgasm during penetration can be tough for guys who can’t last as long as their female partner
If the last item on the list is your biggest issue, try a Promescent delay spray to delay your own climax.
Also, you can make use of those hands and fingers or your mouth during foreplay to get her closer to orgasm before you actually get started.
Orgasm from Oral
Oral sex is actually one of the easiest ways to make a woman orgasm, especially if you know what you’re doing. Check our guide to the venus butterfly technique.
Oral usually involves direct and indirect stimulation of her clitoris with your mouth and tongue, which can be wetter and gentler than your fingers.
Of course, you can always do a combination of oral and finger play to bring her to her release.
If you really want to heighten the potential for a mind-blowing orgasm, try the venus butterfly technique.
Takeaways
- Get familiar with her anatomy and her arousal process
- She can have more than one type of orgasm
- Orgasms do not always happen during penetration
- Every female is different; let her tell you what she likes
- Delay spray can close the “orgasm gap” between you and your partner
- Use foreplay to your advantage
- When in doubt, let her guide you
There you have it—a detailed, in-depth, truthful guide about how to make a girl orgasm.
It’s not as difficult as it can sound but definitely can be more complicated than what the movies make it.
If you’ve paid attention, she’ll likely be visiting O-Town with your help in nothing flat.
If you didn’t… well, this guide will be posted for repeat reference for the long haul.
You’ll get there. More importantly, you’ll get her there!
Related Articles
- A Guide To Cunnilingus: Tips, Techniques, And More
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- How To Perform The Venus Butterfly Technique, Tips And Guidelines
- How To Have An Orgasm: Best Positions, Techniques And Toys
How to bring a girl to orgasm
Sex
22 May
Women often fake an orgasm so as not to offend their partner. This instruction will help to make moans sincere.
Forget about the myths
The female orgasm is shrouded in myths. For example, that it has dozens of species, or that it is impossible without a member. If you do not dwell on these misconceptions, then it will be much easier to achieve results.
Myth 1. The penis is the main tool for satisfying a woman
You probably used to think that the bigger the cock the better and the longer you last the more pleasure she will get. All this is a lie.
But the truth. Researchers asked hundreds of women a direct question about what matters most to them during intercourse, and none of the participants mentioned penis size. Instead, women said they were crazy about men who care about their pleasure.
Myth 2. Good sex ends with a simultaneous orgasm
This is how they show it in the movies: a man energetically enters a woman, and — yes, yes, more! They both experience fast and fabulous orgasms. In fact, simultaneous orgasms are a myth.
To bring your partner to maximum pleasure, you must be focused on her feelings, and to experience it yourself, completely immerse yourself in yours. As you can imagine, it’s hard to put it all together. A partner can experience pleasure both before you and after. And it is much more convenient than to achieve simultaneous discharge.
Myth 3. Women need intercourse to achieve orgasm
Pleasure Point author Lori Mintz says that only 15% of women can achieve orgasm through intercourse. The remaining 85% need clitoral stimulation.
The clitoris is the key to the female orgasm. This proves once again the fact that only 1.5% of women masturbate with an object in the vagina. Another 12% do the same, touching their clitoris at the same time. And the rest — a whopping 86.5% — get their pleasure solely through clitoral stimulation. So the main thing to remember is that frictions lead to orgasm for you, but not for your partner. Her pleasure point is her clitoris.
Prepare for the meeting
Sex begins long before penetration. So you need to prepare yourself and bring your partner into the right mood.
Locate the clitoris
Horrible, but according to Laurie Mintz, 25% of men don’t know where the clitoris is. Therefore, she recommends carefully studying anatomy and watching realistic (not cinematic) masturbation training videos on OMGYes.com.
Image: sayukichi/Shutterstock
Arrange for sex
It often happens that one partner wants to have sex, while the other wants to study for an exam, work, watch TV or just go to bed early. Agree on an intimate adventure in advance – then the girl will be ready for what awaits her, and it will be easier for you to achieve your goal.
Get rid of stress
Stress reduces interest, and in almost everyone it reduces the ability to enjoy. If your partner works from morning to night, pulls a mortgage and three children, is under constant stress, you can forget about an orgasm. So before you move on to sex, take 20 minutes or even an hour to relax in a comfortable environment.
Ask the girl what helps her recover. A bath, a walk, sports, cooking, heart-to-heart talk, a glass of wine—anything as long as it works.
Create a context
Women’s pleasure is closely related to the context – external circumstances and internal state. What exactly sets up a girl for sex depends on her. But usually the ideal context = low stress + admiration for a partner + erotic setting. So candles, music and your irresistible appearance will not be superfluous.
Get down to business
But don’t rush to get in.
Take time to warm up
Modern sex scenarios focus mainly on what you and your partner do between the legs, but most women need about 20 minutes of warm-up before doing this, so that the blood rushes to the genitals and the natural lubrication is released. Thanks to this, touch will bring pleasure, not pain.
Here are a few ways to warm up:
- Kiss each other on the lips in every possible way (gently, forcefully, with or without tongue).
- Kiss each other on the neck, ears and other parts of the face while still dressed.
- Stroke and caress each other through clothes.
- Roll over in bed with your clothes on.
- Undress yourself or undress each other.
- Stroke, kiss and caress your partner’s breasts.
- Play with her nipples: gently roll them between your fingers, suck, pull or pinch if she is turned on.
- Stroke and kiss each other’s naked bodies without staying anywhere for long. Many women say that they like it when a partner teases them for a while, touching their genitals, and then starting to caress again in other places.
You can also shower or bathe together, laugh, joke and have fun. Show your imagination!
Work on her clitoris
When both of you are warm enough, move on to clitoral stimulation. Do this for as long as it takes. In general, women need between 15 and 45 minutes to orgasm. An interesting statistic: if clitoral stimulation is given for 20 minutes or more, about 92% of women experience an orgasm.
Tip: Start by gently touching her clit and let her tell you when to push harder. The clitoris is a very delicate organ, so it’s better when she says “More” and not “Oh!”.
Find out what she likes
Women have different nerve endings. Therefore, there is no universal recipe for pleasure: everyone likes their own kind of touch.
To further complicate matters, let’s add that the stimulation a woman needs for orgasm can change at different times (for example, depending on the phase of the menstrual cycle). So only one thing will help bring the girl to relaxation – the desire to listen to her and hear.
How do you know what a woman wants today? Here are three ways:
- Just ask. Conversations during sex are very short, but they can significantly affect the situation. For example, you will say: “Tell me what you like?”, or “I want you to tell me if this suits you”, or “I want to please you. Show that you enjoy it.”
- Let her fingers speak. Put your hand on top of the partner’s hand, giving her a signal: you want her to show what kind of touch she likes. When she does, follow her instructions (where, with what force, exactly how).
- Listen. Rapid breathing, intensifying groans and requests to continue usually tell you that you are going in the right direction. But if a girl does not show emotions, most likely something is wrong, but she is embarrassed to say so. In this case, return to methods 1 and 2.
Have an orgasm
You can first bring your partner to orgasm with clitoral stimulation, and then move on to intercourse and get your portion of pleasure, or vice versa. Do not seek to experience an orgasm at the same time – remember that this is a myth. Moreover, it deprives the pleasure of watching and feeling the orgasm of a partner.
Enjoy the pleasant aftertaste
Couples who hug, talk, shower together, or otherwise interact with each other immediately afterwards report greater satisfaction with their sex life and relationships in general.
Be close
After sex, many women want to prolong intimacy: cuddle, chat, or just fall asleep together. Showing concern excites women much more than penis size and sophistication in love affairs. Remember this if you suddenly want to turn your back to the wall or reach for the phone to call a taxi.
Talk after sex
Many couples find it helpful to “process the information” right after sex. This will help make it better next time. Ask the girl what she liked the most and what could be even nicer. Just do not make claims: it is better to criticize behind the bedroom doors.
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How to bring a girl to orgasm?
Answers
July 14, 2020
There are two parts to achieving orgasm: the emotional part and the technical part. Let’s consider each of them.
This question was sent by our reader. You can also ask your question to Lifehacker – if it is interesting, we will definitely answer.
How to bring a girl to orgasm?
Sergey Sartakov
Amina Nazaralieva
Sexologist, psychotherapist, co-founder of the Mental Health Center.
First, some theory. Our sexual desire and arousal are affected by two pedals: the gas and the brake. Lazy fantasies that it would be nice to turn on porn or cuddle – this is 10 kilometers per hour, and 200 kilometers per hour is a confident movement towards orgasm.
If you’re driving at 30 km/h and even lightly apply the brakes, it may be enough to make it no longer fun to ride. And if you are driving 200 km per hour and slowed down to 190 without accelerating to orgasm, the girl may still think: “Damn, I had a great ride.”
There is an emotional part and a technical part in achieving orgasm, let’s take a closer look at each.
Emotional part
The factors that affect the gas and brake depend on the preferences and characteristics of the partner. For some, it’s bad breath. For others, it may be violence, thoughts of betrayal, an important phone call, turning on the light, worry about your own body, a crying baby, fatigue, stress at work, illness. Or hurtful words spoken by a partner: insults, depreciation, unflattering comments. It is extremely rare – the erection that has disappeared from the partner. An important point is the pain, if they did it wrong, they scratched it.
One factor that puts pressure on the brakes is safety concerns. It may involve domestic or sexual abuse in the past or in a current relationship. This makes the partner tense and afraid.
Contraception is the second most common concern for women: if not available, it is unreliable or protects against pregnancy but not against sexually transmitted infections. By increasing the level of safety, you can help your partner relax and accelerate as much as possible.
Factors that increase arousal are also different for everyone. Someone excites a particular kuni technique, and someone likes to have sex in front of witnesses.
And other girls will be excited by maximum security, trust, care and everything that confirms that everything is fine in your relationship. That is, everything that happened even before you were naked in bed.
The most difficult question is how to understand that a particular girl presses the gas the best. We don’t know in advance. We can find out statistically that some group of women prefers this. Everything else you have to find out yourself – by talking to a girl. She may know, but she is shy and expects you to take the initiative and ask. And if a girl has little experience, then masturbation and exploration of her body alone or with you will help her.
One must learn to speak directly about one’s wishes and dislikes. This will be useful for most women. And most men will benefit from a little less blind certainty that everything is more or less the same for women.
We have reached the cornerstone of any sexual contact – the question of consent. It’s best to approach sex with a beginner’s mind, especially with a new partner. But not only: the mood, body condition, emotional and mental state, level of fatigue can also change in a habitual partner.
Approach the girl as if you are seeing her for the first time and do not know exactly what she will like right now. Be prepared to ask with curiosity, respect, and a willingness to hear no and back off if prompted.
You must doubt that you know in advance and correctly read all the signals of women. In your actions, rely only on “yes”, which is said with enthusiasm and really leaves no doubt that the person wants it.
Technical
The more banal and traditional side, which is reflected in most sex training, is the technical one, about how to directly interact with the genitals.
Remember – the clitoris is the head of everything. If we’re talking about orgasm, then most women don’t need a dick in their vagina to experience an orgasm. Enough of what your hands, lips and maybe a vibrator will do to her clit.
At the same time, only a little more than a quarter of women are able to experience an orgasm only from the penetration of the penis. Most need some extra stimulation, and that’s perfectly normal. This usually involves changing the position so that the clitoris is accessible to your or her fingers. Often this is a “spoon” or doggy-style pose. The clitoris can also be stimulated not with fingers, but with a vibrator, which is convenient to hold during intercourse – it definitely brings you to orgasm.
It is also important to remember that you should not immediately rush to the visible part of the clitoris, it can even hurt. Most girls prefer a neat and slow approach to this area. The clitoris is also stimulated when you caress the areas closest to its visible part: the vagina, vulva, labia major or minor.
If the orgasm doesn’t happen, that’s okay too. You don’t have to cum at the same time. It is considered good if the partner came first, but if you came earlier, you still have hands, lips, toys to bring her to orgasm if she wants to. And vice versa, in the same way, a girl can help her partner finish if he wants it. I emphasize this, because not always and not all people want to finish. Many feel that they are too tired, and then the race for orgasm can turn into torture.
People who believe that every sex should end with an orgasm often try to get it out at all costs. Because they love their partner very much or it is important for them that everyone has an orgasm.