How to give girl orgasim. Unlocking Female Pleasure: A Comprehensive Guide to Achieving Orgasms

14.03.197018.07.2021 by alexxlab

How can you enhance sexual pleasure for women. What are the key erogenous zones to focus on. Which techniques and positions are most effective for female orgasms. How does foreplay contribute to sexual satisfaction.

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The Art of Foreplay: Setting the Stage for Pleasure

Foreplay is an essential component of sexual satisfaction, particularly for women. It’s not merely a prelude to intercourse, but a crucial aspect of the entire sexual experience. Effective foreplay can significantly increase the likelihood of achieving orgasm and enhance overall sexual pleasure.

Mental Stimulation: The Power of Anticipation

For many women, arousal begins in the mind. Creating an atmosphere of anticipation and desire can be incredibly powerful. This mental stimulation can take various forms:

Sending flirtatious messages or notes throughout the day
Creating a sensual ambiance with candles, music, or fresh flowers
Engaging in intimate conversations to build emotional connection

By focusing on mental arousal, you’re priming your partner for a more intense and satisfying sexual experience.

The Importance of Touch

Physical touch is a fundamental aspect of foreplay. However, it’s crucial to understand that arousal extends beyond just the genitals. Exploring various erogenous zones can heighten sensitivity and increase overall pleasure.

How can you effectively use touch during foreplay? Consider these approaches:

Start with gentle caresses on non-sexual areas like the back, thighs, or scalp
Gradually increase the intensity and move towards more sensitive areas
Pay attention to your partner’s reactions and adjust accordingly
Experiment with different types of touch – from light strokes to firm pressure

Remember, every person is unique in their preferences, so communication is key to discovering what works best for your partner.

The Art of Kissing

Kissing is a powerful tool in your foreplay arsenal. It’s not just about the lips – exploring different areas of the body with kisses can be incredibly arousing.

Which areas are particularly sensitive to kissing? Some popular spots include:

The neck and shoulders
The inner wrists
The lower back
The inner thighs

Experiment with different techniques, from light pecks to more passionate kisses, and observe your partner’s responses to guide you.

Understanding Female Anatomy: The Key to Orgasmic Bliss

A thorough understanding of female anatomy is crucial for achieving orgasms. While every woman is unique, there are certain areas that tend to be particularly sensitive and responsive to stimulation.

The Clitoris: The Powerhouse of Pleasure

The clitoris is a highly sensitive organ located at the top of the vulva. It’s packed with nerve endings, making it a primary source of sexual pleasure for many women.

How can you effectively stimulate the clitoris?

Start with gentle, indirect touches around the clitoral hood
Gradually increase pressure and speed based on your partner’s reactions
Experiment with different motions – circular, up-and-down, or side-to-side
Consider using lubrication to enhance sensation and reduce friction

It’s important to note that some women may find direct clitoral stimulation too intense. Always communicate with your partner to find the right balance.

The G-Spot: Unlocking Internal Pleasure

The G-spot is an area of sensitive tissue located about 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the front wall. When stimulated, it can lead to intense orgasms for some women.

How can you locate and stimulate the G-spot?

Insert a finger or two into the vagina with your palm facing upward
Curl your fingers in a “come hither” motion towards the front wall of the vagina
You should feel a slightly rougher, spongy area – this is the G-spot
Apply firm, consistent pressure or try a “tapping” motion

Remember, not all women find G-spot stimulation pleasurable, and that’s perfectly normal. The key is to explore and communicate openly with your partner.

Optimal Positions for Female Orgasm

While personal preferences vary, certain sexual positions tend to be more conducive to female orgasm. These positions often allow for deeper penetration, G-spot stimulation, or easy access to the clitoris.

Woman on Top: Control and Clitoral Stimulation

This position, also known as “cowgirl,” offers several advantages for female pleasure:

The woman has control over the depth, angle, and speed of penetration
It allows for easy clitoral stimulation, either manually or through grinding
The angle of penetration can provide excellent G-spot stimulation

To enhance pleasure in this position, try leaning forward or backward to change the angle of penetration and find what feels best.

Rear Entry: Deep Penetration and G-Spot Access

Rear entry positions, such as doggy style, can be highly pleasurable for many women:

They allow for deep penetration, which some women find intensely satisfying
The angle is often ideal for G-spot stimulation
It leaves the clitoris accessible for manual stimulation

To maximize pleasure, experiment with different angles by adjusting the woman’s hip position or trying variations like the “flat doggy” where she lies prone on the bed.

Seated Positions: Intimacy and Versatility

Seated positions, where the woman sits on her partner’s lap, offer a unique blend of benefits:

They allow for deep penetration and G-spot stimulation
The face-to-face nature of these positions enhances intimacy
They provide easy access for clitoral stimulation
The woman can control the pace and depth of penetration

Try variations like having the woman face away from her partner or experimenting with different surfaces (bed, chair, edge of the bathtub) to find what works best.

Communication: The Cornerstone of Sexual Satisfaction

Open, honest communication is crucial for a fulfilling sexual relationship. It’s essential to create an environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their desires, boundaries, and feedback.

The Importance of Feedback

Giving and receiving feedback during sexual activities can significantly enhance the experience for both partners. Here’s how to approach it effectively:

Use positive reinforcement – let your partner know when something feels good
Be specific about what you enjoy – “I love it when you…” instead of general praise
Don’t be afraid to guide your partner’s hand or adjust their position
Ask open-ended questions like “How does this feel?” to encourage communication

Remember, feedback isn’t criticism – it’s a tool to enhance mutual pleasure and understanding.

Discussing Desires and Boundaries

Having open conversations about sexual desires and boundaries outside of the bedroom can lead to more satisfying experiences. Consider these approaches:

Set aside dedicated time to discuss your sex life, free from distractions
Use “I” statements to express your desires – “I really enjoy…” or “I’d love to try…”
Be clear about your boundaries and respect your partner’s
Approach the conversation with curiosity and openness, avoiding judgment

These discussions can help build trust, deepen intimacy, and lead to more fulfilling sexual experiences for both partners.

Overcoming Challenges: Addressing Common Obstacles to Female Orgasm

While orgasms can be a source of intense pleasure, various factors can make them challenging for some women to achieve. Understanding and addressing these obstacles can lead to more satisfying sexual experiences.

Stress and Anxiety

Mental state plays a significant role in sexual arousal and orgasm. Stress and anxiety can inhibit arousal and make it difficult to relax and enjoy sexual activities.

How can you mitigate the effects of stress on sexual pleasure?

Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation before sexual activity
Create a calm, comfortable environment free from distractions
Focus on the sensations of the moment rather than worrying about achieving orgasm
Consider incorporating massage or other relaxation techniques into foreplay

Remember, the goal is to enjoy the entire experience, not just reach a specific endpoint.

Medical Factors

Various medical conditions and medications can affect sexual function and the ability to orgasm. These may include:

Hormonal imbalances
Certain antidepressants or blood pressure medications
Chronic pain conditions
Neurological disorders

If you suspect a medical issue may be affecting your sexual function, it’s important to consult with a healthcare provider. They can help identify any underlying causes and suggest appropriate treatments or adjustments to medications.

Past Trauma or Negative Experiences

For some women, past sexual trauma or negative experiences can create psychological barriers to sexual pleasure and orgasm. Addressing these issues often requires professional help.

How can you approach this sensitive topic?

Encourage open, non-judgmental communication about any past experiences
Be patient and understanding, allowing your partner to set the pace
Consider seeking help from a sex therapist or counselor specializing in sexual trauma
Focus on building trust and emotional intimacy alongside physical intimacy

Remember, healing takes time, and professional support can be invaluable in this process.

Exploring Additional Techniques for Enhanced Pleasure

While the basics of foreplay and sexual positioning are crucial, there are numerous additional techniques and approaches that can enhance sexual pleasure and increase the likelihood of orgasm.

The Power of Oral Stimulation

Oral sex can be an incredibly pleasurable experience for many women and is often more likely to lead to orgasm than penetrative sex alone.

What are some effective techniques for oral stimulation?

Start slowly, building anticipation with kisses and light touches around the vulva
Use the flat of your tongue for broad strokes, and the tip for more focused stimulation
Experiment with different patterns – circles, up-and-down motions, or side-to-side
Pay attention to your partner’s reactions and adjust your technique accordingly
Consider incorporating gentle suction or humming for added sensation

Remember, every woman is different, so communication and experimentation are key to finding what works best.

Incorporating Sex Toys

Sex toys can be valuable tools for enhancing pleasure and achieving orgasm. They can provide types of stimulation that may be difficult to achieve manually.

How can you effectively incorporate sex toys into your sexual repertoire?

Start with simple, versatile toys like vibrators or dildos
Use toys during foreplay as well as during intercourse
Experiment with different settings, speeds, and intensities
Be open to trying different types of toys to find what you and your partner enjoy

Always ensure that sex toys are cleaned properly and used safely to avoid any health risks.

Mindfulness and Sensate Focus

Mindfulness techniques can help increase awareness of physical sensations and reduce distractions during sexual activity. Sensate focus, a specific mindfulness-based approach, involves focusing on physical sensations without the pressure of sexual performance.

How can you practice sensate focus?

Set aside time for non-sexual touching, focusing solely on the sensations
Gradually progress to more intimate touching, still without the goal of arousal or orgasm
Practice being present in the moment, noticing textures, temperatures, and pressures
Communicate with your partner about what feels good

These techniques can help reduce performance anxiety and increase overall sexual satisfaction.

Embracing Sexual Wellness: A Holistic Approach

Achieving satisfying orgasms and overall sexual wellness is about more than just physical techniques. It involves a holistic approach that considers physical, emotional, and relational aspects of sexuality.

Physical Health and Sexual Function

Overall physical health can significantly impact sexual function and the ability to achieve orgasm. Consider these factors:

Regular exercise can improve blood flow and boost libido
A balanced diet supports hormonal balance and overall sexual health
Adequate sleep is crucial for maintaining energy and reducing stress
Kegel exercises can strengthen pelvic floor muscles, potentially enhancing orgasms

Prioritizing overall health and wellness can have positive effects on your sex life.

Emotional and Relational Factors

The emotional and relational context of sexual experiences can greatly influence satisfaction and the ability to orgasm. Consider these aspects:

Building emotional intimacy outside the bedroom can enhance sexual experiences
Addressing relationship issues or conflicts can remove barriers to sexual satisfaction
Practicing self-acceptance and body positivity can increase comfort during sexual activities
Exploring fantasies and desires together can deepen sexual connection

Remember, a strong emotional foundation can significantly enhance physical pleasure.

Continuous Learning and Exploration

Sexuality is a lifelong journey of learning and discovery. Embracing this mindset can lead to ongoing growth and satisfaction in your sex life.

How can you foster a spirit of sexual exploration?

Read books or attend workshops on sexuality and relationships
Discuss new ideas or techniques you’d like to try with your partner
Be open to evolving preferences and desires over time
Celebrate the journey of discovery rather than focusing solely on end goals

By maintaining curiosity and openness, you can continue to enhance your sexual experiences throughout your life.

3 Secrets to Achieving a Female Orgasm

The key is to emphasize the “play” in foreplay. It’s shouldn’t be rushed or treated like an obligatory task. In fact, foreplay can begin hours before sex actually occurs, and every minute of it will prepare her for an orgasm. Here are some tips for getting both of you in the mood.

Stimulate her mentally. For some women, mental arousal is just as important as physical arousal. A sexy note or a flirtatious call during the day can get her thinking about your upcoming liaison. Candles, fresh flowers, and mood music can also create a loving and sensuous atmosphere. For many women, closeness and emotional intimacy can lead to better sexual experiences and more orgasms.
Use a tender touch. Caressing her gently can create sexual tension before you go any further. Hug her, hold her hand, or touch her thigh. Female orgasm is more likely to happen if, when you’re kissing a woman, you let your hands roam to more erotic regions of her body. (Another hint: Yes, the breasts are an erogenous zone, but they’re not the only one! Try stroking her back or her thighs, or sliding your fingers into her hair.)
Take kissing to the next level. Kissing is essential to foreplay. Discovering new places to kiss that turn her on is both fun and rewarding. Try the back of her neck or her shoulders for starters.
Don’t forget to talk. Women tend to be more verbal, and hearing how good she’s making you feel can help her open up and have fun.

2. Know Her Sweet Spots

There are two places on the body that are critical to female orgasm. Here’s how to stimulate them so she can achieve orgasm.

The clitoris This tiny organ contains a high concentration of nerve endings and can be found near the top of the vulva. The clitoris is covered by a little bit of skin called the “clitoral hood,” which keeps it from being stimulated all the time, so you may have to coax the clitoris out by touching or licking it. Once she’s aroused, the hood will draw back and the clitoris will become erect.
The G-spot This other orgasmic area is located inside the vagina. It’s a bundle of nerve endings about two inches up from the pubic bone on the inner, upper wall of the vagina. To find the G-spot, gently slide your finger inside her vagina with your palm facing up, then curl your finger up. Be warned — some women love having their G-spot directly stimulated, while others prefer less pressure on this sensitive area. Explore different techniques and ask your partner which she likes best.

3. Try Female-Friendly Sexual Positions

Given what you’ve just learned, you can pretty much guess that the best sexual positions for female orgasm involve those that provide maximum stimulation to the clitoris or G-spot (or both!). These positions include:

Woman on top This position provides some of the best stimulation of the G-spot, given the angle of the penis. She also can move her body in a way that stimulates her clitoris.
Rear entry This position isn’t so great for clitoral stimulation, but provides excellent penetration and stimulation of the G-spot. Either of you can reach under during sex to rub the clitoris.
Sitting Having your partner sit on your lap allows for both deep penetration and good clitoral stimulation. It also provides plenty of intimacy.

Notice that the missionary position isn’t on this list? It’s difficult for a man to stimulate the clitoris when he’s on top, unless he really grinds his pelvis into his partner. The angle of penetration is also all wrong for G-spot stimulation.

Still having trouble? Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for feedback, to make sure she likes what you’re doing. Women may want to consider working with a sex therapist, or getting a medical checkup to see if any diseases or medications are affecting their ability to reach orgasm. Achieving the female orgasm may require some trial and error, but don’t forget to have fun while you’re trying. Your sex life will thank you.

How to Give a Woman an Orgasm

“Did you finish?” Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you have to ask a woman if she had an orgasm, odds are she did not.

This is especially true if, like the average man, you took between 5 and 7 seven minutes to finish. According to 2019 research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, it takes the average woman around double that time—13.41 minutes—to orgasm during P-in-V intercourse. It’s also worth pointing out that the vast majority of women can’t cum from penetration alone; they need external clitoral stimulation, too.

All of this contributes to what’s commonly known as the “orgasm gap”: the proven fact that men orgasm during sex significantly more often than women do. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that straight women orgasm 63% of the time with a common partner (i. e., husband or boyfriend), whereas men orgasm 85% of the time with a common partner. Other studies have found an even bigger gap. A 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that straight women orgasm 65% of the time, while straight men orgasm 95% of the time. Women orgasm even less—roughly 40% of the time—when they have a casual hookup with a one-night stand, according to a 2012 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Now that you know this, you’re probably wondering: how can I make sure a woman orgasms during sex? Maybe it’s time to step up your game. After all, you can’t keep doing the same exact moves and expect different results.

So what can you do to help her reach that peak? Help her relax, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. “Studies show that in order for a woman to achieve orgasm, the part of her brain associated with stress, emotion, and anxiety has to shut down,” he says. Translation: if you make a woman feel so good that she completely forgets about everything else, then you’re more likely to give her an orgasm. Contrary to your instincts, that might mean not telling her how badly you want her to cum—that kind of pressure can make her even less likely to get there.

Of course, every woman is different, so what one woman loves in bed another woman might loathe. That said, there are a few moves that do tend to work—so if your partner is having trouble getting to the finish line, try these tips from real women and sexual health experts.

1) Don’t race toward her orgasm.

“Try to remember the goal of sex is pleasure, and orgasm is one kind of pleasure that is significantly shorter than all the rest of it,” says Shadeen Francis, LMFT. “If, during sex, you can create a space focused on feeling as good as possible, it may make her more likely to orgasm.”

That’s why Francis recommends slowing down. Take your time with your movements, and don’t focus on the end game. There is a slight irony to it—the more your partner thinks about orgasming, the less likely she will be to orgasm. So switch the focus on just making her feel as good as possible, for as long as possible.

2) Get to know the clitoris.

First things first: the vast majority of women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, period. In fact, a study of more than 1,000 women in 2017 revealed that only 18 percent of ladies can orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. So when you’re having sex, you want to spend as much time stimulating her clitoris as possible.

Some sex positions make it easier to do this than others. Rachel* reveals this trick: “When a guy is on top of you in the missionary position, have him shift his body slightly forward so that, every time he thrusts, his penis rubs against your clitoris.” This tactic is even more orgasmic if the woman’s legs are together and the man’s are straddling her, says Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., an adjunct professor of human sexuality at Rutgers University. You can achieve the same effect when she’s on top by propping yourself up on your elbows, which places your abdomen in closer contact with her clitoris.

3) Pay more attention to her butt.

Unless anal is on the menu, too often a woman’s butt is sidelined during sex. And that’s a shame, because “the buttocks are packed with nerve endings,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., a sex therapist in New York City. “To give her a surprising jolt of pleasure, spread your fingers wide and squeeze both buttocks.”

That said, be gentle, and take it one step at a time. Yes, of course, there are women out there who crave a good spanking, but until you’ve had a conversation about this sort of thing, just keep it simple and light.

4) Learn what she likes, and follow her lead.

As we mentioned above, direct clitoral stimulation is the most surefire way to bring many women to orgasm—and oral sex is a pretty good way of going about that. “Going down on a woman allows you to get a real sense of the stimulation she likes at every stage of arousal, especially the final one,” says Kerner.

To find out more about what she likes and doesn’t like, let her take the lead. When you’re giving her oral sex, get between her legs and give her a solid base of lips, tongue, and even chin to rub against. At first, use your hands to guide her hips to let her know you want her to do the grinding. When she takes over, note how hard she’s pushing and in what direction. Use that information later when using your fingers or mouth to please her.

5) Don’t stop kissing her.

Once things get more heated, you might be tempted to focus less on kissing in favor of more X-rated pleasures. But deep kissing is a must for female orgasm, according to a 2017 survey of more than 50,000 adults. The findings revealed that women were much more likely to reach orgasm if their sexual encounter included a combination of deep kissing, oral sex and genital stimulation.

Ask her if she has any fantasies that she’d like to explore. “Fantasies can increase arousal during a sexual experience,” says Francis. “Finding a fantasy that really turns your partner on can add another layer of pleasure during sex that can help take her over the edge. ” It’s also a way to get her more psychologically aroused, which is just as important (if not more important) than physical arousal.

7) Don’t be afraid to talk dirty.

In the heat of the moment, a string of well-chosen four-letter words can work wonders. Test the waters by “complimenting her or talking about how good what [she’s] doing feels,” advises Friedrichs. If she responds with “Oh, yeah” or a similarly enthusiastic phrase, she wants more.

If you’re hesitant, a simple compliment about how attractive you find your partner will do the trick. “You don’t have to tell or make pornographic sounds, but saying something specific about me is sexy while we’re in bed is perfect,” says Emily.

FYI, here are some more tips on dirty talk:

8) Lube up.

No matter how hot and heavy you guys are getting, without adequate lubrication, it’s easy for sex to become uncomfortable or even painful for her. “Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris,” says Friedrichs. “But sometimes, no matter how turned on a woman might be psychologically, she can have trouble getting wet.”

In fact, studies have shown that sex is more enjoyable for women when they use even moderate amounts of lube. And here’s another fun fact: Men who add extra lubrication to their condoms during intercourse tend to last longer in bed, according to research published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Try squirting a few drops of lube onto the end of your penis; then thrust with short, rhythmic strokes while pressing your body against her pubic mound.

9) Focus on her neck.

Our necks are highly responsive touch pads: the skin is thin there, and the blood vessels are close to the surface. So it’s not surprising that researchers have found that the neck is one of the best places to stimulate a woman using light touch (so no hickeys, please).

When you’re having sex and she’s clearly moving toward orgasm, brush your lips from her collarbone to her jaw, then give her neck soft, warm kisses to drive her wild.

10) Break out the toys.

If your partner never hits her high note, no matter now hard you try, it might be time to enlist the help of sex toys. In fact, she’ll probably be more than happy to pull out the Hitachi Magic Wand from her bedside drawer: more than 50 percent of women use vibrators to help them achieve orgasm, according to a 2009 study.

Hold the vibrator against her clitoris as you move from one position to another and enjoy the show. Just remember to ask her preferences about pressure and speed: you don’t want to start too fast and heavy right off the bat.

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11) Ask her what she wants.

This might sound obvious, but asking your partner exactly what makes her hot is the best way to help her orgasm. In fact, studies have shown that people who are more comfortable talking about sex have better sex, because they feel less anxious during intercourse. Discussing her fantasies, preferences, and turn-offs (without judgement) will make her feel more comfortable—which will, in turn, lead to both of you having incredible orgasms.

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How to give a woman an orgasm – 9 tips to make a girl come

If your partner struggles to come during sex, it can be frustrating (for both of you). Self-esteem, anxiety, exhaustion and stress are just some of the lifestyle factors that can impact a woman’s ability to orgasm.

While it’s perfectly normal to not reach orgasm every single time you have sex, if your partner fails to come at all, it can start to take its toll on your relationship.

But before you despair you’re doing something desperately wrong and your sexual prowess is entirely to blame, lots of women struggle to come, and your partner is not alone. A study of more than 52,000 adults found that 95 per cent of heterosexual men almost always climaxed during sex – compared to just 65 per cent of women.

Which begs the question: why are the men hogging all the orgasms and, more importantly, how can you help the woman in your life up her come-quota and join you in the pleasure circle? Psychosexual and relationship therapist Sarah Berry offers her expert tips on how, why and what to do to help the woman in your life come:

Why some women struggle with orgasm

I often hear male clients lamenting that they are bad in bed because their female partners can’t come. While there may be other relationship or sexual issues at work, a lack of orgasm does not reflect on your sexual ability, nor is it your sole responsibility.

Most women at one time or another have found it difficult to climax.

While some women orgasm easier than others, most women at one time or another have found it difficult to climax. Some can only climax alone and some have never had the pleasure. There are many reasons for this. It could be down to any one of the following reasons, or many more profound or mundane interferences:

Interpersonal problems
Past trauma
Body issues
Medication
Physical conditions
Miscommunication
Lack of arousal
Stress
Needing the loo
Tiredness
Preoccupation with something

What I would recommend is that you work with your partner to create a space where both of you feel happy and connected and where arousal can ebb and flow. If their arousal is working up to an orgasm, you can help nurture these feelings.

Communication

If you are with a woman who orgasms infrequently or not at all, I would ask them how they feel about it. Maybe she is frustrated, maybe she is fine with it and maybe she does actually orgasm, but it’s a less theatrical affair – not everyone does a full on When Harry Met Sally –style performance. Start by asking her how she feels and you might be surprised to learn it’s nothing to do with you at all.

Are you the problem?

If she does blame your technique for her lack of orgasm, ask her to tell you, or even better, show you, how she likes to be stimulated. You could have a mutual masturbation session where you touch yourselves in front of each other. While this is can feel very intimate and exposing, it can also reduce pressure and performance anxiety for both of you.

It’s worth noting that if your partner is tense, maybe they’re anxious or angry, then your touch is likely to tickle and not hit the spot, so let her lead the way.

The best sex toys for mega orgasms

How to help her come: 9 expert tips

Bearing in mind what works for one person may be uncomfortable for another, here’s some ideas for helping your female partner achieve an orgasm which you might like to try together:

1. Stimulate her orally

It seems the done thing, in far too many heterosexual couplings, that when the man has come then sex is over, regardless of whether the female partner is done or not. Ignoring whether your partner has also finished is selfish. If she would like it, you could do some hand or mouth stimulation. If you are too spent, you hold her while she masturbates.

2. Don’t forget foreplay

Yes quickies can happen. If you are both aroused and your genitals are primed for action then that’s great. But if not, foreplay helps all genitals – including penises that, contrary to popular belief aren’t always ready to go as soon as sex is hinted at – to be ready for sex. Without enough of it, sex can be painful, intrusive or simply just boring. Foreplay can include anything from saucy texts, to hand jobs, to oral, to spanking and anything else that feels playful, sensual or sexual.

3. Experiment with sex toys

Some people find sex toys, particularly vibrators, can help them achieve the big O. Others don’t like them; it could be they don’t like how they feel or they don’t like them on principal. There are many, many different sizes , shapes, colours, materials and types of stimulation available, so if you are thinking of getting one, I strongly recommend consulting with your partner.

4. Go down on her

Many women say that receiving cunnilingus is the most surefire way to get them coming. If you do both want to do this, but you’re not sure what to do, experiment until she starts making appreciative noises or writhing around. Some women prefer a tongue lapping consistently at the clitoris while others like the whole vulva to be slathered over, like you would an ice cream on a really hot day.

5. Alternate tongue and finger stimulation

I’ve found that there are three main reasons why some women find receiving oral sex a bit uncomfortable:

• The first is that it can feel disconnecting: you’re down there being busy, while they’re up there not feeling in the moment and worrying about you, work, or that stain on the ceiling.

• The second is the fear that it is taking too long; indeed vaginas do generally take longer to get excited than penises.

• And thirdly, many women fear that their vulvas and vaginas don’t look good or smell.

So what should you do? If you are going down on her, being more animated can help. This can include appreciative noises or comments, eye contact, cupping her bum and stroking her body. If you’re tired, try alternating tongue and finger stimulation.

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6. Establish an intimate bond

During your intimate time, you might feel awkward, nervous, detached, or any other feelings that could interrupt a pleasurable union. If this happens, I suggest that, rather than powering through, you stop for a moment. Tell them how you feel and give them a compliment, a hug, or something that can help the two of you can find some common ground and establish a bond. It means she may also feel she can do the same when she feels interrupted. Being on the same page during sex is sexy.

7. Take snogging breaks

If someone feels close to coming but then their clitoris becomes painful or numb, then you could suggest that the two of you take a break. Maybe have a chat, a cuppa or a glass of wine, or a bit of a snog. If you both want to continue, you may be surprised to find that the clitoris is still pretty enlarged and doesn’t need much stimulation to get going again.

8. Just keep going!

heIf s says to keep going in increasingly excited tones, then keep going. As you were. Don’t go faster. Don’t go slower. Don’t throw in some amazing trick. Unless you are in pain or discomfort JUST… KEEP… GOING!

9. Talk it through

Issues with sex can be a symptom that other things are wrong with your relationship. In this case, it could be that one or both of you is having doubts about your relationship or is harbouring resentment about something. Or they may see you as a good friend but just can’t get themselves to fancy you. Sometimes discussing these issues can be painful but getting through them could lead both to find happier places, either together or apart. Couples therapy can help negotiate this.

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Sex and relationship resources

For further advice about helping your partner reach orgasm or any other relationship or sexual concerns you might have, try one of the following resources:

College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists: find therapists that are able to work with any relationship or sexual issues on this directory.
Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity: if you feel you are affected by sexual compulsivity, try the ATSAC.
The Asexual Visibility and Education Network: the world’s largest online asexual community.
sh-womenstore.com: the Sh! Erotic Emporium has a wide array of sex aids and advice on how to use them.
nhs.uk: to check for any medical issues or be referred to a therapist, visit you local GP or local sexual health centre.

Sarah Berry is a psychosexual and relationship therapist. For more information about how she works and to book a session, visit www.sarahberrytherapy.co.uk

Last updated: 14-09-20

These are the 9 ways you can make your female partner orgasm

O, my gosh.

There are apparently nine kinds of orgasms a woman can have, says psychologist John Gray, author of the classic self-help book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.”

In a new podcast interview with Bulletproof Radio host Dave Asprey, the relationship guru spilled the climax beans about a Taoist practice he says will jumpstart the way male/female couples have sex.

“I think we all need sex education,” Gray, 68, said to the “bio-hacking” podcast host.

During this step-by-step process, men shouldn’t ejaculate at all, Gray says, which he explains on the show in great detail. The method is one he learned with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. For nine years, Gray was celibate to better his 16-hour-a-day meditations. “[It] gives you energy,” he told Asprey, 46.

As each area Gray describes is stimulated, the woman will have an orgasm, he says. Each one warms up the body for the next step, apparently leading to a blissful experience.

Here’s his roadmap to sexual satisfaction.

1. Breath

Start by syncing your breathing together, like you would in a yoga class. Soon, you won’t need to think about maintaining that rhythm. “It’s taking on by itself, it’s that ‘hahhh, hahhh,’ ” he said. “That’s the first orgasm. You allow that to happen, and you let yourself go into the pleasure of the automatic breath.”

Once you’re breathing together — you’ll be in a “trance state,” he said — embrace with a hug.

John GrayWireImage

2. Kiss

Next, have a hefty makeout. Because of the breathing you just did, “there’ll be more salivation,” said Gray. He explains that an “orgasm” can happen as the kiss heats up, and your tongues are “penetrating” each other’s mouths.

3. Whole body

“Now we’re moving down to the whole body. Very systematic, you have to have a sense of structure,” said Gray. Kiss her down the neck, behind the ears, beneath the armpits — everywhere. Get her joints loose and have fun.

4. Clitoris

Once she’s properly aroused you can head down south, says Gray. Make sure to stimulate the surrounding areas before focusing in, he suggests.

“You always want to tease. You go up to that area, circling that area, lots of circling,” said Gray.

5. “Enter”

In this move, the man should stimulate the entryway of his partner’s vagina with his genitalia, said Gray.

6. The G-spot

Next, go a little bit deeper, until you find her G-spot. Gray says it will “pop up” once your partner is aroused, and will feel like the size of a quarter.

7. The E-spot

“The idea for men is starting little, then going a little deeper, then deeper, for quite a while,” said Gray.

About an inch after the G-spot is something calls the “E-spot,” though he doesn’t know where the name comes from. He claims that it can’t respond to pleasure until the G-spot has spurred an orgasm. “Don’t go all the way in. It’ll feel like you’re almost all the way in.” Continue until she has “an orgasm or two.”

8. The C-spot

The C-spot is the cervix, at the end of the vagina. “Generally speaking,” said Gray, most men aren’t endowed enough to reach that point.

However, with enough stimulation and at certain times in a woman’s cycle, the cervix can provide pleasure: “Every touch is like sparks,” he said.

9. Push and pull

After the cervix orgasm, the whole area becomes extra sensitive, said Gray.

Gray says the woman will be highly “orgasmic” at this point, and respond to the slightest of movement, including a push-and-pull pulse. “I’ve done it many times, you push in and her body goes ‘pew pew pew pew pew,’ ” he said.

Science-Backed Ways to Make Your Partner Come

Three things make your toes curl:

bloodcurdling embarrassment
wearing pointy jester shoes
Oh my goodness, how are you doing that with your tongue?

Despite having the only organ in the human body completely dedicated to pleasure, people with clitorises can find orgasms to be mysteriously out of reach.

Some of those looking to rock their partner’s entire world claim that the clitoral orgasm is a mystery that ranks alongside the Bermuda Triangle or where that missing sock goes on laundry day.

When mystery calls, though, science invariably answers. And this time, it’s wearing the sexiest lab coat imaginable.

Sex researchers have been asking some smart questions. With their help, we parted the legs of truth and revealed practical tips to help your partner come (to some positive conclusions about your technique, obviously).

And don’t worry, we’re not leaving folk with penises out — they tend to have an easier time of it, but that’s not true for everyone.

One study from 2019 suggested based on data that over 90 percent of people with penises regularly orgasm during sex, but that the figure is 50 percent for people with clitorises.Kontula O. (2016). Determinants of female sexual orgasms. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/

Well, that just won’t do, now, will it? Sex should be fun, sensual, and safe for everyone who tries it. And that includes whoever’s in your bed right now! (Okay, tip number one: Put the articles away and get to it.)

We’ve got a few tips that will have your partner soundproofing their bedroom as a matter of urgency. You’ll graduate from our walkthrough magna cum loudly.

While we’re on this sticky subject, we explain the awesome health benefits of a good, old-fashioned orgasm, what could be blocking the road to O-town, and how to get there.

Sexual contentment is a key part of human wellness for people who are active in that way. Plenty of studies are being done with the objective of offering tangible advice to help folks achieve a better sex life.

One such study indicates that 36.6 percent of women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Compare that to the 18.4 percent of women who orgasm from vaginal sex.Herbenick D, et al. (2017). Women’s experiences with genital touching, sexual pleasure, and orgasm: Results from a U.S. probability sample of women ages 18 to 94. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530 Sounds like a simple jaunt toward the clit might do the trick, right?

Slow down there, partner. It’s not that easy. The researchers also found that specific types of clitoral stimulation are better than others, with up-and-down motions getting better results than circular movements overall.

Turns out, most people prefer a gentle touch on their clitoris over firm contact, and almost half of the women in the study said there’s one specific touch that sends them to orgasm.

So just ask! (We’re not leaving you hanging, but you also need to do some of the work yourself. There’s only so much complete strangers can tell you about what makes your partner tick.)

An innovative study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior offers a little more clarity on that most burning of questions: What makes an orgasm?

Using data from a diverse group of almost 53,000 people, researchers sought to discover who orgasms — and why.Frederick DA, et al. (2017). Differences in orgasm frequency among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual men and women in a U.S. national sample. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-0939-z

This study is limited, though. It reports on people who identify as straight, gay, and bisexual, and there’s still a lot of work to be done in understanding how trans and gender non-conforming individuals experience sexual thrills.

Even outside of gender identity, orgasms are so personal. They feel different for everyone. You can feel any emotion under the sun after an orgasm, depending on the setting, your individual experiences, and how you’re wired.

And people have completely different, complex preferences that result in their sexual ecstasy peaking. Finding a universal rule is extremely difficult.

What the study achieved, however, is undressing three significant factors that are likely to result in orgasm. Combine this with learning your partner’s mind and body, and you’ll be in very good stead to start distributing pleasure like Oprah distributes cars.

(“You get an orgasm! You get an orgasm! You get an orgasm!”)

This “golden trio” can help ensure your partner has a great time every time.

Open wide, say “aaah”: More oral, please

This one is for the ladies: Women who receive more oral during sex are much more likely to reach orgasm.

They won’t necessarily get there through oral sex alone, though: The key to orgasm is to incorporate oral with a variety of other sexual techniques. As is so often the case, variety is the spice of life (and sexual satisfaction).

Just 5 more minutes… time is of the essence

In the study, both men and women said that they’re more likely to orgasm if sex lasts more than 15 minutes. Women are even more likely to orgasm if the session is longer than 30 minutes (or an hour).

Intense foreplay takes time. Quickies can be great fun, but if you want your partner to have an explosive experience, put the time aside and really explore.

If you’re a sprinter more than a marathon runner, we found a few exercises that can boost your stamina.

Happy relationship, happy quivering

Women who are happy and loved up are more likely to orgasm than those having difficulties with their partner. The study found relationship satisfaction to be one of the highest predictors of orgasm for women — which is not the most surprising discovery, when you think about it.

This is a tricky one, though. It’s unclear which factor feeds which.

Does a happy relationship promote a healthy sex life, or does a great sex life contribute to satisfaction with a partner? This is a Circle of Life we can get behind.

More…

Name a better trio. (Apart from Hanson.)

These gold standards for giving orgasms are the main findings from the study. However, the researchers also stumbled on other factors that contribute to orgasms.

According to the study’s findings, women who frequently orgasm do more of the following:

give new positions a go
act on their fantasies
ask for something they want during sex
show expressions of love during sex
let their partner know that certain movements feel good
wear sexy lingerie
include a variety of sexual acts
sext their partner

A whopping 80 percent of women orgasm from this magical combination:

oral sex
vaginal sex
manual (hand) clitoral stimulation
deep kissing

Men who have more orgasms tend to do these things:

wear sexy underwear
receive a massage or back rub
ask for something they want during sex
praise their partner for something they did during sex
take a bath or shower with their partner
sext their partner
set aside time for sex

Even though most people have specific motions or moves that make them not only tick but explode, there are actually stark similarities between what people of all orientations and genders want from sex.

According to the study, sexting can play a great supporting role in The Orgasm Show. If you’re not yet comfortable with sexting, we can help you get acquainted. 😉😘

Scientific conclusions: Practical, science-backed ways to help your partner finish

How does this help you make orgasms a regular part of sex, rather than an occasional happy accident?

Well, if you partner has a clitoris, here’s some changes you could make by the next time you sleep together:

Take your time.
Mix up your hand, tongue, and body movements.
Go down on your partner (and stay down there)!
Try something new, like an inventive position or a toy.
Bring back the passion and eroticism of kissing.
Ask your partner what they want.

Those with penises don’t struggle as much with orgasms, but some do. For biologically male partners:

Take your time and be gentle.
Offer them a back rub.
Make sure you’re setting time aside for romance and affection, so your partner knows that you’re enjoying it and want them to feel good.
Provide a safe, non-judgmental environment where your partner can let you know what they want and explore fantasies.

Most importantly, work on your relationship. You’re both more likely to orgasm if you’re happy. Communicate is rule numero uno for this. You should build good communication into the fabric of your emotional and physical relationship.

Communication is an essential factor for successful orgasms. If your partner knows which little touch sends them into rapture, you’ll find out much faster by asking.

The most effective search engine lies inside your partner’s pants and mind.

Not all relationships are rosy all the time, and you might have some stuff to work through before the sexual side can ignite fully. Enter communication, yet again: Most relationships are fixable through a supportive conversation.

Orgasms offer a host of benefits beyond the rosy glow and bounty of passion — there are perks aplenty for everyone to enjoy.

Here are a few of the bonus rewards orgasms bring into your life.

In the throes of pleasure, your brain releases vast amounts of the hormone oxytocin — the “hug hormone.” Oxytocin helps promote bonding and stress relief, which explains that carefree, post-coital smirk on your face after a good squish.Liu H et al. (2016). Is sex good for your health? A national study on partnered sexuality and cardiovascular risk among older men and women. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5052677/
There’s a reason you feel sleepy after an orgasm. According to 2019 research, sex contributes to improved sleep — but mostly in people with penises, as they’re more likely to reach orgasm.Lastella M et al. (2019). Sex and sleep: Perceptions of sex as a sleep-promoting behaviour in the general adult population. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6409294/
If you get sick often, a useful and enjoyable prescription is more orgasms. They may boost immunity by increasing your white blood cells.Haake P et al. (2004). Effects of sexual arousal on lymphocyte subset circulation and cytokine production in man. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15316239/
Orgasms can help you live longer. Women who have more orgasms have longer telomeres, the insulating caps on your DNA that control how fast you age.Cabeza de Baca T et al. (2017). Sexual intimacy in couples is associated with longer telomere length. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453016310034 See? The fountain of youth was keeping you moist the whole time.
And men get unique benefits like improved protection from prostate cancer,Leitzmann MF, et al. (2004). Ejaculation frequency and subsequent risk of prostate cancer. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/198487 as well as cardiovascular disease,Hall SA, et al. (2011). Sexual activity, erectile dysfunction, and incident cardiovascular events. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2824175/

Sex can help you burn a few calories, too.

Science has been trying to answer this question for a long time. But it’s not all about what you’re doing with your fingers — in fact, sex isn’t all about you at all. Unless you’re masturbating.

Part of the issue is the different types of orgasm for people with clits in particular. Some reach orgasm easier through clitoral stimulation, and others prefer vaginal sex. An orgasm might be out of reach for some people unless they get both clitoral and vaginal pleasure.

Many people have psychological or physical barriers, especially if they’ve experienced sexual trauma or the effects of uncomfortable health problems, such as endometriosis.Montanari G et al. (2013). Women with deep infiltrating endometriosis: Sexual satisfaction, desire, orgasm, and pelvic problem interference with sex. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsm.12133 They may need to try and resolve these health issues before being able to enjoy sexual contact enough to reach orgasm.

Others simply get stuck in their head, dwelling on insecurities or fears. (If you’re one of the people who struggles to get all the way to an orgasm, or maybe never has, we’re here to help.)

Many women fake orgasms, and while many women fake with positive intentions — to preserve their partner’s feelings, mostly — it can lead to miscommunication and unrealistic expectations in the bedroom.

The National Survey of Sex Health and Behavior found that 85 percent of heterosexual men think their partner reached orgasm the last time they did it together — but 64 percent of heterosexual woman claim that they actually did.National Survey of Sexual Health And Behavior. (n.d.). https://nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu/keyfindings/index.html Yikes.

If you find yourself faking it rather than making it, you may benefit from a bit of help. One of our writers tested out 7 popular clit suction toys. (Journalism can be a tough gig, you know.)

Now, you can set about overcoming any issues over coming. Let science be your wingperson.

If you communicate your own bedroom needs and listen to your partner’s, take time to really enjoy the moment, and maintain a healthy relationship the rest of the time, your chances at an orgasm are already pretty high.

You might feel that, when it comes to going down on your partner, you don’t quite feel ready to put your money where your mouth is. There’s an article for everything.

6 Ways to Help Her Have Orgasms

Many men believe that one goal of lovemaking is to “give” women earth-shattering orgasms. But orgasm is something no one “gives.” Orgasms are like laughter. Comedians might be funny, but they don’t “make” us laugh. We release laughter from deep within ourselves when conditions feel right. Rather than “giving” women orgasms, men should focus on what allows women to have them. These suggestions increase her likelihood of a happy ending:

1. Don’t expect her to have orgasms during intercourse. On TV and in movies and pornography, women always seem to have orgasms during intercourse. That’s much more fantasy than reality. In real sex, only about one-quarter of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse. The old in-and-out can be great fun, but it brings only a minority of women to orgasm. Three-quarters of women need direct stimulation of the clitoris.

The clitoris is the little nub of tissue that sits outside the vagina and a few inches above it beneath the upper junction of the vaginal lips. Even vigorous prolonged intercourse seldom provides enough clitoral stimulation for orgasm. Most women really need clitoral caresses from a hand, tongue, or vibrator. Unless she specifically requests intense touch, caress her clitoris very gently. It contains as many touch-sensitive nerves as the head of the penis, but they’re packed into an organ only about one-tenth the size. As a result, even gentle caresses may feel too intense for many women. Discuss this. If she doesn’t enjoy direct clitoral touch, caress around her clitoris.

2. Touch her all over, not just those places. From the scalp to the soles of the feet, every square inch of the body is a sensual playground, but too many men focus on just a few corners and forget the rest. Touch her everywhere. All over. Every square inch. Think of sex as a whole-body massage that eventually includes the genitals. Whole-body massage produces deep relaxation, which helps women (and men) have orgasms. Massage her gently from head to toe. Some non-genital spots that can feel surprisingly erotic include the scalp, ears, face, neck, feet, and the backs of the knees.

3. Slow down. Extended sensual warm-up time helps women have orgasms. Compared with men, most women need considerably more time to warm up to genital play. Forget the wham bam you see in porn. When making love, do everything at half speed. Sex therapists recommend at least 30 minutes of kissing, cuddling, and whole-body sensual caressing before reaching between her legs.

4. Use a lubricant. Wetter is better. In just seconds, lubricant makes women’s (and men’s) genitals more erotically sensitive, so it helps women have orgasms. In addition, for women experiencing post-menopausal vaginal dryness, sex may feel uncomfortable without a lubricant.

The most widely used lube is saliva. It’s wet, free, and always available, but saliva dries quickly and it’s not very slippery. Vegetable oil is another possibility, but it can be messy and stain linens. Try commercial lubricants. They’re safe, inexpensive, and slippery. If they dry out, they can be refreshed with a few drops of water, or just apply a bit more. But don’t squirt lubricants directly on women’s genitals. That can feel cold and jarring. Squeeze some into your hand, rub it with your fingers to warm it, then touch her. Lubricants are available at pharmacies.

5. Break out of routines. Ever notice how sex feels more arousing in hotels? That’s because hotel sex is not routine. Biochemically, the brain chemical (neurotransmitter) dopamine governs libido. As dopamine rises, so does arousal and likelihood of orgasm. What raises dopamine? Novelty. So try something different—anything. Make love in a new location, in a different way, at a different time, or with a different ambiance, for example, candlelight, music, and sex toys. Beforehand, try bathing or showering together, or treat yourselves to professional massages.

6. Take a vibrator to bed. Even if you do all of the above, some women still have trouble with orgasm and need the intense stimulation only vibrators can provide. Today, one-third of American women own vibrators, but few couples include them in partner sex. Some men fear being “replaced.” Nonsense. Power tools don’t replace carpenters. They just get the job done more efficiently. Vibrators can’t kiss and cuddle, or make women laugh, or love them. They do just one thing, and some women need that one thing to have orgasms. Hold her close as you invite her to use the vibrator.

Just remember, you don’t “give” her orgasms. In a loving relationship, the man’s job is to create an erotic context that’s comfortable, relaxed, and arousing enough so the woman can let herself go enough to climax.

How to Give a Woman an Orgasm

Sex is supposed to feel good. Often, it actually does. (No, really, you were great! Honest.)

But sometimes, the Big O — the female orgasm, the climactic moment, the part where the fireworks all explode in one amazing grand finale of delighted shreiks, fluttering eyelashes and trembling limbs, just never … quite … happens.

Why not? Well, lots of reasons, really, only some of which have anything to do with you. But you can — and you probably should — do your utmost to bring your partner to the top of the mountain. We’re going to assume you are already well-acquainted with the sexual organ attached to your own abdomen. So let’s focus on her.

Here, a few key tips:

Choose your moment.
Before you even think about getting in her pants, you need to see if she’s in the mood. I’m not talking about lighting candles or whipping out the massage oil (although those certainly can’t hurt). I mean you need to read the emotional cues correctly. Unlike you, she is not always interested in sex. It comes and goes. Is she feeling tense, worried or (gulp) pissed off at you? Or does she seem enthusiastic and playful? A large part of sexual compatibility is learning to read your partner’s erotic temperature, developing an understanding of when to jump their bones … and when to back off. Once you have a good sense of how receptive she will be to your sexual overtures, then and only then should you proceed.

If you’re not sure, ask.
Yes, it’s awkward. It often seems more natural to proceed slowly and remain sensitive to negative vibes that call for a rain check. But some people are hard to read. If your partner is one of those people, you may need to get explicit. A raised eyebrow might be a reasonable signal of your intentions. Or a lightly offered “Wanna make out?” might be necessary. You’re a smart guy, you’ll figure it out. The important thing is to pick up on her cues and take them seriously.

Set the table.
Do the bed sheets reek like B.O.? Do you? Is the air conditioner blasting freezing cold air? Is your phone blowing up with Pokémon Go alerts? Could a roommate/child/housekeeper burst in the door any minute? Or (ahem) a parent? Is a desk lamp angled into her eyes? All of this might seem extraneous. It’s not. Your girl needs to feel safe, clean, warm (but not too warm), free from distractions, and most of all, comfortable in order to relax enough to have an orgasm. That said, once you get to know each other (through a decade of marriage for instance) you may be able to let some of these items slide, but not with a new partner.

Forget everything you learned watching porn.
Repeat after me: the women in pornography are paid performers. Generally speaking, they are acting out a male fantasy — the one where the guy is in total control, and the woman is driven to the heights of ecstasy by the relentless piston-like pounding of his massive … yeah, no. Doesn’t really work like that, at least, not usually. In real life, you will need patience, sensitivity, excellent communication skills, and a facility not only with your equipment but with your fingers, tongue and perhaps a sex toy as well. Did we mention patience?

Don’t assume to know exactly what to do.
It can be tempting to repeat what has worked with other women, but as Basic Instinct 2 made all too clear, the sequel doesn’t always live up to the original. Women have different preferences in bed. Yes, there are some commonalities (most will respond well to a gentle stroking of the clitoris and nipples, for instance), but your mileage may vary. Just because your ex-girlfriend could have a mind-blowing orgasm from vaginal sex doesn’t mean your current squeeze will. The reality is that you probably won’t know what sets her ablaze until she tells you, so ask questions about what she likes and dislikes. Or, if she doesn’t know, figure it out together!

Ease up on the pressure.
For decades, the female orgasm was the Loch Ness Monster of human sexuality: an intriguing rumor, rarely seen, its existence doubted altogether by most men and probably a lot of women too. Once we figured out for sure that it exists — does it ever — men came under a certain amount of pressure to make it happen. Overall, this is a very welcome development. But given how obsessive guys can get when faced with a challenge, especially a challenge that places them in competition with other men, it can also get a little intense. How do we put this? Her orgasm is for her to enjoy. It’s not to make you feel like a stud. Giving someone an orgasm is about bestowing a gift; it should be done freely, cheerfully, in a spirit of openhearted generosity.

And here’s the rub, as it were: If you’re too determined to make your partner orgasm, you might just prevent it from happening at all. Ease up, pal. This is supposed to be fun. And remember, her Big O is not about your big ego.

But don’t worry, pull this off and you’ll likely reap your own rewards in due time.

Take your time.
This is not a rush job. You’re not on the clock. True, you may feel a certain urgency due to your own heightened arousal (hello, big boy), in which case try not to sweat it. If you need to come, let it happen: You’ll rally for round two. I know you will.

In general, though, good sex takes time. It’s difficult to relax if one or both of you feels rushed, so the seven minutes between when you hit the snooze button and when she has to get ready for work is probably not the ideal moment explore all the natural wonders of her womanly form. (Keep your morning wood to yourself, at least on weekdays, okay?)

And remember, do not worry or panic if it takes longer than you expect for her to work up to an orgasm — or if she loses mojo partway through. It could take your girl a few minutes, or it could take the better part of three GoT episodes. Or like Ol’ Nessie, it could remain elusive for yet another day. If you don’t quite arrive at your desitnation, that’s okay, too. Just as long as you both enjoyed the ride.

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90,000 12 ways to please a woman in bed

Most men strive for their partners to experience an orgasm, but not all succeed. As a result, many suffer from self-doubt and increased anxiety, and this negatively affects erection. Representatives of the stronger sex rarely seek help from specialists and sometimes hesitate to ask the doctor intimate questions. Men need to know that women enjoy not only intercourse itself, but also kissing, touching, and emotion.We have compiled for you a selection of tips on how to give your girl unforgettable moments in bed. You don’t need to be a sex god to please a woman in bed. It is enough to remember that the girl is important not only and not so much the process itself as your attitude towards her. According to the results of various polls, 75% of women do not experience an orgasm from penetration itself, but adore caresses, gentle words and kisses.

Here are 12 easy ways to bring your partner to the highest point of pleasure and make your night unforgettable.

1. Tease her with caresses

Kiss, bite, and tenderly torment her body. The level of pleasure hormones in the body during the anticipation of pleasure is much higher than during the pleasure itself. Slowly increase the power of the impact, and your girlfriend will be covered with a wave of orgasm.

2. Hot kisses

Kisses are as important as sex itself. They spark the imagination and trigger a surge of hormones in the blood.

3. Periodically brake

Having almost brought your partner to orgasm, stop and slowly start winding her up again.Thus, the pleasure will be brighter and last much longer.

4. Dedicate half an hour of prelude

It is very important to take time to foreplay. Of course, there is no definite rule for how long they should last, but the warm-up is as important as the main part of the act of love.

5. Dirty talk

Many women enjoy being whispered in their ear during sex. The brain takes an active part in achieving orgasm, as playful words and sighs stimulate the amygdala, an area that is responsible for emotional pleasure.

6. Find the erogenous zones

Feel free to study your partner’s body. Look for places that delight her when touched. Among the most sensitive are the neck, shoulders, ears, lower abdomen, inner thighs, pits under the knees, buttocks and feet.

7. Add some footjob

Do not consider yourself a pervert if you caress the feet of your beloved. Sucking on your partner’s toes can give her incomparable pleasure, because there are many nerve endings at their tips.

8. Don’t rush

On average, a man needs two to ten minutes to reach orgasm, while a woman takes 16 to 20 minutes. Do not speed up or force her to rush, so as not to ruin everything. The quieter you go, the further you’ll get!

9. Mirror movements

Women, like men, are turned on by visual images. Place a mirror in front of your bed, or buy a large mirrored wardrobe. Watch yourself with your partner during sex to get even more aroused.The best poses for this are lady on top or doggy style.

10. Listen and Memorize

A third of girls are embarrassed to talk about what they like in bed. Try to find out the information you need. If you, too, hesitate to talk about it face to face, write her playful messages. Do not laugh at all if her desires may seem strange, and do not be offended if she says that she does not like something.

11. Try Tantric Sex

Tantric sex is a great way to get closer to your soul mate and make your orgasm brighter.Lie on top of each other and look eye to eye. Breathe in sync, slowly move your hands over your partner’s body, caressing the erogenous zones. Ten minutes of tantra a day will greatly improve your intimate life.

12. Erotic kisses

Hug and kiss the woman slowly, listening to her heartbeat. Work your way from the tips of your toes to your neck so that your loved one will be thrown into a sweet shiver.

It should be remembered that the preferences of women and men in matters of sex differ significantly.This is due to the different reactions of the body to lovemaking. Study your partners to fully enjoy each other.

See also – How to seduce a woman in 7 days: advice from a professional escort heartthrob

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90,000 I’m embarrassed to ask. “I rarely have an orgasm, is that okay?” – citydog.by

In the new heading “I’m ashamed to ask” we collect questions that Belarusians are usually ashamed to ask friends and specialists, but they often google.And we ask the professionals about it. Today we asked a sexologist to answer uncomfortable questions about orgasm.

Vasily Shevlyakov
psychotherapist, sexologist

►

A frequent question on the topic in search engines: how to understand that it was an orgasm?

– There are three stages by which it can be understood that this is an orgastic experience. At the first, there is a feeling of fading, when a pleasant sensation is concentrated in the area of the primary erogenous zones.At the second stage, sensations spread throughout the body as a “wave”. In the third, muscle contractions occur both throughout the body and in the genital area. On average, 5-8 strong contractions with an interval of eight tenths of a second.

►

What is an orgasm?

It can differ in the degree of severity and saturation – emotional experiences, physical sensations, but everything is very individual (like every person). Mature orgasm is perceived brighter.

►

Is mature orgasm related to age?

No.This is due to the degree of maturity of various structures: the work of the central nervous system, the nerve centers of the brain, which are involved in the formation of the orgastic impulse, nerve conductive trunks (pelvic, etc.).

Even if a person has physiological maturity, he still may not reach orgasm – due to mental or psychological immaturity. It depends on how he went through the stages of his sexual development, attitude to his sexuality, self-knowledge.

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Does age affect the quality of orgasm?

Sexologists do not diagnose anorgasmia until the age of 20. You just have to take care of yourself in the literal sense – self-exploration and sex education. There is no age limit for reaching orgasm. In old age, the orgasm is not so intense, but as a function, the orgasm will exist as long as the nervous system is able to experience this pleasure.

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How long does it take to orgasm?

In men, orgasm is associated with the function of ejaculation.The speed of the onset depends on the intensity of stimulation, on average it is a minute and a half.

It’s more complicated for women. Physiological stimulation alone is often not enough. The required level of arousal depends on psycho-emotional experiences (positive, of course). On average, the process takes 3-5 minutes.

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Can multiorgasm last an hour?

Men are not capable of multi-orgasm, this is physiology. After ejaculation, a period of recovery or sexual non-excitability is needed (whatever you do, there will be no reaction).

And a woman does not have such a period: the process of arousal turns into orgasmic discharge, and if the arousal continues, there is a possibility that a woman can reach a certain number of orgasms. This ability depends on the degree of excitability of the nervous system, temperament, quality and degree of psychosexual arousal.

It is believed that all women are multiorgastic. But in fact, about 20% of women can achieve several orgasms in a row. It’s about orgasms without a rest phase.But all the same, each orgasm will be weaker than the previous one, that is, go downhill.

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What types of orgasm are there?

There is no consensus among sexologists here. We can say that there is no strict division into types of orgasm.

At first, it was assumed that women have clitoral and vaginal orgasms. And then it turned out that orgasm is one process, but depending on the form of stimulation, psychosexual experiences, it can differ. In women, any orgasm is essentially clitoral, as it occurs when the clitoris is stimulated.

There is also an opinion of sexologists that there is an external stimulation orgasm, uterine orgasm, and their combination. So, orgasms in a dream are uterine, and those that are experienced in real life are more often associated with external stimulation.

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Do men have one kind of orgasm?

Orgasm is the same process for both men and women. They describe it the same way. It’s just that women describe orgasm more emotionally.

There are types of stimulation – but an orgasm is an orgasm.

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What causes an orgasm in a dream?

For the same reason as in life: from adequate stimulation intensity. Only in a dream does this happen due to intropsychic stimulation. For our psyche, there is no separation between internal reality and external reality. And in a dream, we are not so limited by constraining factors.

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How do you know if your partner is faking an orgasm?

Theoretically, you can guess, but for this you need to be very careful and know very well what an orgasm is, how it occurs and what it is.Basically, you have to be a sexologist with a good understanding of bodily reactions.

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Men fake orgasms?

It happens. In particular, with some forms of delayed orgasm and ejaculation, when the sexual act begins to cause discomfort and the man pretends to look good in front of a woman.

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Do men have orgasms without ejaculation?

A man can have an orgasm without ejaculation, as well as have an ejaculation without an orgasm.But it so happened that these are two interconnected processes, and separately they have some inferiority.

In tantric teachings, for example, it is believed that one can achieve such a degree of enlightenment to have an orgasm without ejaculation. But they don’t really get it. It’s just that ejaculation happens differently: the return of semen into the bladder. I’ll answer right away: it’s not harmful, but it’s not useful either.

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Do all women have a “ji point”?

In fact, this is just a collection of glandular tissue, where there can be many nerve endings.If the clitoral foot is located nearby, stimulation can lead to orgasm. But in itself, this spot has no orgastic significance. This is such a myth about the “magic point”.

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What other myths are there about orgasm?

We have more negative myths, and Dot Ji is just one of the positive ones. There are many myths, they differ in men and women. Women are sure that in men, sex and orgasm is a purely physiological act. This is not true. Psycho-emotional experiences for men are no less important than for women.Unlike women, men find emotional self-expression more difficult because it is not accepted in society.

And men believe in the myth that sex is work, that if men just need sex, then women – active foreplay. In fact, it is not quantity that matters, but quality.

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The caresses last an hour, but she still has no orgasm?

I want to ask such a man: what are you doing all this hour with this poor woman?

The female orgasm does not strongly depend on the man.It’s female orgasm. There is no “magic remote control” that triggers orgasm.

On 80% orgasm depends on the woman herself – on the degree of her maturity and readiness (physiological and psychological) for pleasure, arousal and achievement of orgasm. The man’s task is to participate in achieving orgasm, he is not the source of orgasm.

If something is not working out for a couple, why not discuss it? Only a woman knows how to best stimulate her.

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Sex is pleasant, but there is no orgasm, is this normal?

Most likely, a woman will ask this.There are anorgastic women who simply cannot achieve orgasm. There is a variant of the immaturity of orgasmic discharge, when the orgasm manifests itself only in the form of muscle contractions and is not colored by vivid experiences. It is really easy to confuse it against a background of excitement simply with pleasant sensations.

But for women, having an orgasm is not as critical as for men. Even if orgasm does not occur, but there is excitement and pleasure with a partner, then at some stage the process becomes so saturated that the rest phase starts and a feeling of completeness appears, as after living an orgasm.

A woman, not having an orgasm, but with enough time of sexual intercourse, usually at least 15 minutes, gets satisfaction (with a good relationship with a partner and understanding). No orgasm – well, okay. There is attraction, excitement, pleasure – everything is good.

Men also have a lack of orgasm. This is due to the inability to ejaculate or to the fact that orgasm as a psychophysiological function is blocked by a number of reasons. Orgasm is often associated with an erection. This is influenced by drugs and whatnot.

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What if the orgasm comes too quickly?

This problem in women is associated with a low threshold of excitability. It’s about experiencing an orgasm with minimal stimulation – touching or rubbing. In men, this is due to impaired ejaculation function.

Most often, such problems significantly worsen the quality of life and relationships and require referral to sexologists.

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Is simultaneous orgasm the norm?

This is rare because it is not physiological.A woman should have an orgasm later than a man. But if you really want to, then why not? But for this you have to try very hard.

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What exercises are there to improve the quality of orgasm?

This exercise is called masturbation. This is a very good exercise and is usually practiced at a certain age. This is how the process of arousal is studied, erogenous zones are formed.

There are exercises for couples that promote better understanding and help get rid of negative factors – distrust, anxiety, fear.You can contact a sexologist to select a complex, you can independently find such exercises on the Internet. These are exercises from behavioral therapy, sex therapy, body-oriented therapy, various forms of yoga, meditation practices, etc.

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Do contraceptives affect orgasm?

Various forms of protection have their own advantages and disadvantages. Any contraceptive affects the level of arousal, but not critical.

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Does pregnancy and childbirth improve orgasm?

This happens when the threshold of excitability changes.This does not happen often. If there is a better achievement of orgasm, then this is due primarily to a change in the hormonal background, but with frequent sexual practices, the rate of achievement may later remain at a new level.

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Is it possible to lose weight from orgasm?

In general, it is possible, this is an energy-intensive event. But after orgasm, you usually really want to eat and sleep – which does not contribute to weight loss. It is impossible to cope with weight due to orgasm alone. But regular orgasm improves the tone of the nervous system, hormonal levels and general physical well-being.

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Is sex research carried out in Belarus?

We do not have academic sexology, therefore research is not carried out. Our sexologists (there are not many of them) are mainly engaged in practice. The research is interdisciplinary. So, I participated in the study of the degree of sexuality education among students, but this is, rather, sociological research.

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Illustrations: CityDog.by.

G-spot orgasm

Occurs when the G-spot is stimulated, which is located on the front wall of the vagina.In this part of the vagina, the paraurethral glands are located, which are often also called the female prostate, because, like the male prostate, they are capable of ejaculation (jet orgasm). So, with a certain stimulation of this zone, a woman can achieve a very strong orgasm.

Why do many men get frustrated when they try to find this magic point and in the end they don’t. This happens for one simple reason. And this reason is that for most women this zone is sleeping, and in order to activate this zone, or in other words to wake it up, you need to spend some time on stimulating it and gradually the woman will begin to experience pleasant sensations, and then she will be able to experience an orgasm.This can happen in 1 sex, or maybe in 3, 5, 10 – for everyone in different ways. Also, this point should be looked for only when the girl is already strongly aroused or even better if she has already experienced at least a clitoral orgasm.

The point is that the clitoral orgasm activates all other erogenous zones. All these and other subtleties are detailed and described in the guide “How to find the G-spot and give a MEGA ORGASM to your girlfriend!”

Jet orgasm (squirt)

A very special and unique in its strength and depth type of female orgasm.Men often see in porn how a girl is experiencing it and at the same time a powerful jet of liquid is shooting from her. But they have no idea what actually happens, and even more so on what this orgasm depends. And now carefully, since we are opening the curtain of this secret !!)) The jet orgasm, in principle, is also associated with a certain technique of stimulating the G-spot, namely the paraurethral glands. What is happening and how? In the process of arousal of a woman, these glands begin to produce fluid and swell.With a certain technique of stimulation and a woman reaches a certain degree of arousal, these glands begin to contract and squeeze out this fluid.

As a result, we can observe an amazing picture when a woman ends up like a man, shooting a stream of liquid. Many believe that this fluid shoots out of the urethra (the woman’s urethra), that is, the girl just urinates, but no! This fluid is similar in composition to the seminal fluid of a man and squirts from small openings on either side of the urethra, and not from the urethra itself.It is just not knowing these things that turns lucky young girls into unhappy and notorious ones. Why lucky? Yes, because such an orgasm without a certain training can experience only 2-3% of girls on the globe. And by its strength, it will not allow itself to be confused with anything.

By the way, such an orgasm also has healing properties. Experiencing it, women are very well cleansed on an emotional level. By spraying this liquid, a woman seems to sprinkle all resentments, fears and all other negative emotions.According to those girls who experience jet orgasms, this one makes them feel especially easy, both physically and emotionally and mentally. Learn how to bring a girl to a jet orgasm with 2 fingers.

A-point orgasm

A-point orgasm Occurs when the area behind the G-point is stimulated also on the anterior wall of the vagina – this is the upper fornix of the cervix. Admit that few people have even heard of such a point in the female vagina, and nevertheless it is there and, with skillful stimulation, can also make a woman moan languidly with pleasure !!)) If stimulating the G-spot you need to immerse your fingers into the vagina for 1-2 phalanges , then to stimulate point A, you need to insert the middle finger to its full length, adhering to the front wall (the palm is turned to itself).When you insert your finger, the upper part of the fingertip (pad) will just reach this point.

Deep point orgasm

Another mysterious point in a woman’s vagina, which few have heard of. By the way, it is thanks to this point that a woman most often experiences an orgasm during anal sex, since it is mainly stimulated during this type of sex. It is located symmetrically to point A, that is, on the other side of the cervix. If point A is on the upper fornix of the cervix (at the front wall), then this point is on the lower fornix of the cervix (on the opposite wall of the vagina).This orgasm is also very peculiar in its own way and, as many women note, has a very relaxing effect.

Deep vaginal orgasm

Deep vaginal orgasm is a derivative, that is, the result of all previous vaginal orgasms described above, such as: A, G point orgasm and deep point orgasm. The fact is that they all do not stop the wave of excitement, but, on the contrary, intensify. That is why their onset only strengthens the woman’s desire to continue sexual intercourse, to continue to be aroused and reach orgasms even more often and even stronger.When a woman experiences an orgasm from stimulation of the G-spot from her partner’s fingers, her excitement does not go away, for her this is just the most favorable moment for her partner to enter her with his penis and move on to stimulate her deep point or point A.

All these orgasms during intercourse intensify each time. It is like a stone thrown into water – the circles diverge, and the orgasm penetrates deeper and deeper into the tissues, covering an ever larger area of the genitals and ultimately leading to a deep vaginal orgasm.To experience this type of orgasm, a woman also needs to have developed pelvic muscles, for this she needs to do Kegel exercise to strengthen the muscles of the vagina. It is these muscles that will help you fully experience the difference between a deep vaginal orgasm and a simple clitoral orgasm. With this orgasm, there are deep muscle contractions, and with orgasm, the G-points and A-points are smaller. Also, a special distinguishing feature of this orgasm is its duration, which can exceed 20-30 minutes. When it is reached, a woman can experience it all the time, no matter how long sexual intercourse lasts after it occurs, that is, he does not lose his energy, such as a male orgasm.

Orgasm of the uterus

The uterus itself is also a muscle and therefore, if it is contracted in a certain way, you can achieve orgasm. Uterine orgasm can be experienced while sitting on your back. Your partner puts his hand on the uterus and makes vibrating movements with light pressure, while the girl contracts the pelvic muscles using Kegel exercises. This stimulates these muscles. Do not expect that this orgasm will be as bright and deep as, for example, clitoral or vaginal.It is lighter, more delicate and barely noticeable.

U-point orgasm (urethra)

The urethra is located between the clitoris and the vaginal opening, that is, it is the female urethra. Stimulating this site can also lead to orgasm. In some women, such an orgasm can be close in strength to the clitoral one. You can stimulate this zone with both your tongue and your finger. If you are stimulating with your finger, make sure that the finger is generously lubricated with some kind of lubricant (intimate lubricant or oil), and the touch should be very gentle.The power of touch is best coordinated with your partner, since it is very difficult to determine how much she is pleased with it. Of course, the finger can do wonders, but compared to the tongue, it is still rough, so use your tongue for this better.

Anal orgasm

In addition to the fact that the anus (the sphincter itself) has many nerve endings and its stimulation can lead to orgasm, through it you can also stimulate the G-spot and the Deep point, which we talked about earlier, which are also able to lead a girl to peak of bliss.

Breast orgasm

In relation to this type of orgasm, all women are divided into two groups: those to whom the caress of the breast gives pleasure and those who are indifferent and not even pleasant. The second group of women is indifferent to the caresses of the breasts, often not because this zone is not sensitive for them, and therefore, it is simply not revealed. It’s like with the G-spot, when stimulated, at first a woman may not feel anything or even experience pain, but then she begins to enjoy the stimulation.The mechanism for obtaining such an orgasm is that when a woman’s nipples are stimulated, her uterus begins to contract, since these parts of the body are very interconnected and the orgasm can float back and forth, from the chest to the lower abdomen.

Pleasant sensations are provided by the hormone oxytocin, which begins to be actively produced when the nipples are stimulated. This hormone, the so-called hormone of happiness in women. It is thanks to him that the girl feels love and affection. By the way, this hormone is also actively released during breastfeeding and stimulates the flow of milk in the breast.Therefore, very often a lactating woman can experience the excitement of breastfeeding or pour milk over the entire bed during sex with her husband.

How can this orgasm be useful for men, that is, for the relationship between a man and a woman? When a man caresses a woman’s breasts, namely the nipple, a large amount of oxytocin is released at this time. And oxytocin is a hormone of love, trust and affection. Therefore, a man kissing his breasts evokes all these feelings of a woman in relation to himself.

Tactile orgasm

A rather rare type of female orgasm, but nevertheless it is sometimes encountered.It is achieved by caressing non-erogenous zones, that is, it can be absolutely any area on a woman’s body, the stimulation of which can lead to orgasmic sensations in a woman.

Oral orgasm

According to Eastern reflexology, a woman’s genitals are very much connected not only with the breast, lips and buttocks, but also with the throat. Some women who have a particularly sensitive throat while giving deep blowjobs can experience a full orgasm.

Combined orgasm

You can also come across concepts such as monofocal orgasm and multifocal.Monofocal is achieved from stimulation of one erogenous zone, and multifocal – from several. The combined orgasm is the same multifocal, which is achieved by stimulating several erogenous zones at once. So, for example, you can combine stimulation of the clitoris and the G-spot (cunnilingus + massage of the G-spot with fingers) or the G-spot and stimulation of the anus. That is, there can be a lot of such options and combinations, and with the help of such versatile stimulation, such a game with erogenous zones, you can achieve different orgasms and different shades of sensations.

Multiple orgasm

This is a completely natural process when a woman having an orgasm and continuing sex after a short period of time gets another, and after it another. As we said earlier, vaginal orgasms tend to increase arousal, and the stronger the arousal, the easier it is for a girl to experience another orgasmic wave and a man needs to put in much less effort. More than a third of women with good stalls experience orgasms in this way.This is exactly what distinguishes male orgasms from female orgasms. In a man, when he finishes, all processes in the body decline, including arousal (we exclude the first years of sexual activity, the so-called period of hypersexuality, when a man practically does not need a break). And for a woman, on the contrary, upon reaching an orgasm, on the contrary, she wants sex even more strongly, and if you give it to her, then she will finish even harder and even more often. That is why not all women experience multiple orgasms, since much depends on their partners, who often finish earlier than the woman herself would like.

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7 proven steps to success

Playboy18 +

Simple tips are worth their weight in gold.

Maria Minaeva

Still from the movie “Amelie”

Many men believe that one of the goals of lovemaking is to bring their wife or girlfriend to orgasm. Some even use an expression like “giving” a woman an amazing orgasm. But an orgasm is not something that someone “gives”.

In fact, orgasms are like laughter. Comedians may be funny, but they don’t “make” us laugh. We start laughing ourselves when the conditions seem right to us. Therefore, instead of “giving” the girl an orgasm, you better focus on what exactly allows her to get it.

Below are some helpful tips to increase the chances of your girlfriend screaming with pleasure.

What you need to know about the female orgasm?

In movies and porn, women always have an orgasm during intercourse.However, alas, this does not correspond to reality. In fact, according to data reported in Psychology Today, only about a quarter of girls have consistent orgasms during intercourse.

This is partly due to the fact that everyone needs an individual approach to achieve orgasm. For example, some girls achieve peak pleasure more easily during cunnilingus or through direct finger stimulation of the clitoris, while others prefer vaginal sex. In addition, many people have psychological or physical barriers, especially if they have had negative sexual experiences in the past, are unsure of themselves, or are afraid of something.

A survey conducted by Cosmopolitan magazine revealed that many women (67% at once) imitate orgasm, and although they are guided by good intentions, this does not promote mutual understanding between partners and reinforces unrealistic expectations of men.

This is evidenced by the fact that at once 85 percent of heterosexual men who participated in a large-scale study of Indiana University said that their partner had an orgasm the last time they had sex, but only 64 percent of women report that it really was So.

Interestingly, in the above-mentioned Cosmopolitan poll, exactly half of the readers stated that “90,403 almost 90,404 have reached orgasm,” which suggests that armed with a few tricks, you will increase your girlfriend’s chances of going from “almost” to full bliss.

1Stimulate her clit

Good old vaginal sex is certainly good, but not every girl can be brought to orgasm with it. Studies have shown that it is easier for a woman to climax during penetrative sex if the head of the clitoris is less than 2.5 centimeters from the entrance to the vagina (the further it gets, the harder it gets).

At the same time, three quarters of women need direct stimulation of the clitoral head, and again we quote the figures from the Cosmopolitan poll: 38% of the participants said that they could not achieve orgasm due to insufficient clitoral stimulation, and another 30% said the wrong type of stimulation. By the way, clitoris stimulation is the key to success if you are interested in how to bring your wife to a jet orgasm.

90,000 11 body transformations that occur during sex

All adults know how this happens: heart rate increases, breathing becomes more shallow, sweat appears on the skin … We have listed only a small part of the changes that occur in the body when we make love.A number of recent studies have shown that sex can work miracles!

The female breast is enlarged.

Information that should not be ignored by both partners: in the process of foreplay, a woman’s bust can increase by 25%! This is due to the increased blood flow to the erogenous zones. During sex, the color of the nipples can also change. As they harden, the halo becomes darker and the breast itself becomes more sensitive to touch.

Natural “drug”.

From the point of view of physiology, sex can be safely called a natural drug. During lovemaking, a whole “cocktail” of hormones enters the bloodstream that can give our body an unforgettable pleasure. Here’s how it happens: arousal is associated with the production of the pleasure hormone dopamine, then adrenaline, produced in the adrenal glands, is connected to it. The “composition” is complemented by oxytocin (“love hormone”) and prolactin (“stress hormone”).Orgasm can be compared to a real hormonal explosion. The combination of numerous substances that are released into the bloodstream during the peak of sexual pleasure are responsible for that very indescribable feeling of euphoria. The desire to experience pleasure again and again is quite understandable and natural, isn’t it?

Regular sex is a guarantee of high immunity.

Experts have conducted curious research and concluded that those who often indulge in love games are much less likely to get sick than their colleagues who prefer to abstain from sex.What is the reason for this? Regular lovemaking increases immunoglobulin levels and promotes more active lymphocyte production. It is these substances that play a major role in the fight against infections in the human body.

Orgasm greatly enhances the sense of smell, especially in women.

We already know that during sex the blood is enriched with numerous hormones. The aforementioned hormone prolactin is responsible for activating areas of the brain that are responsible for recognizing aromas.And what does sex have to do with it, you ask? A complex evolutionary mechanism is to blame. Aggravated sense of smell helps people (especially women) to identify the scent of a lover. We evaluate the partner’s health by scent and remember the smell of the potential father of his offspring. This information is stored in memory, and the next time you can feel sexual arousal, inhaling the scent of pheromones emanating from your beloved. Even if you haven’t noticed anything like this before, after good sex you will like the smell of a man who gave a bright orgasm.

Women need sexual release.

In the process of arousal, blood rushes to the pelvic area, while the clitoris can increase significantly. After the “final chord”, it returns to its natural size within 10 minutes. If a woman does not get an orgasm, then the blood remains in this area for several hours. This can cause obvious discomfort, irritation and inconvenience.

Ideal pain reliever.

Scientists never cease to amaze us: it turns out that in the process of love training, the sensitivity to pain is sharply dulled, especially among the fairer sex. As you approach orgasm, the pain threshold becomes almost 100% higher.

After “quality” sex, you just shine.

Sex significantly improves blood circulation. This process stimulates collagen production. The skin becomes more elastic, taut, youthful due to the fact that more oxygen is released.

Sex has a positive effect on fertility.

It would seem that “sex” and “fertility” are practically synonyms. It is quite understandable that the more often you go to bed with your partner, the higher your chances of conceiving a child. However, things are not so simple! The researchers concluded that frequent sex on so-called “safe” days increases the likelihood of conception on ovulation days. Regular lovemaking has another important advantage: it allows the body to effectively deal with diseases that cause infertility.

Roulette game.

It sounds rather strange, but our brain perceives sex as a bonus level in our favorite computer game or a trip to the casino. When we have sex, the same area in the brain is activated as during the game of roulette, it is also called the “reward center”. We can say that excitement awakens in us, and we are not able to stop until we achieve the desired result. In this case, we are talking about orgasm.

Fitness for the lazy

Thanks to active movements in bed, constant change of positions and “miracles of flexibility”, which are demonstrated by some experienced lovers, lovemaking can be easily equated with intense workout in the gym.The frequency of contractions of the heart muscle increases, the pressure and body temperature rise, – calories are burned literally at the speed of light. Why isn’t fitness for the lazy?

The drowsiness of men after sex has a scientific explanation.

No matter what time of day you make love, men are always sleepy after orgasm. There is a medical rationale for this phenomenon. It turns out that during the process of ejaculation, a man’s brain produces many hormones, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and prolactin.All of these chemicals are associated with relaxation and feelings of happiness. There is no need to scold your partner, reproaching him for insensitivity and laziness. It’s just that his blood fills with oxytocin – the hormone of calm. Hence the desire to take a nap.

As you can see, sex has many benefits! However, in order to fully make love without being distracted by ailments, it is important to undergo medical examinations on time with such specialists as urologist and gynecologist. Only being healthy can you get real pleasure from the close relationship with your loved one. Hurry up z to make an appointment with the specialists of the medical center “Active-Medical” by phone (0512) 777-888 , and have sex for your health!

90,000 How to bring your wife to orgasm: all kinds of sex

Simple tips are worth their weight in gold.

Still from the movie “Amelie”

Below are some helpful tips to increase the chances of your girlfriend screaming with pleasure.

What you need to know about the female orgasm?

In movies and porn, women always have an orgasm during intercourse. However, alas, this does not correspond to reality. In fact, according to data reported in Psychology Today, only about a quarter of girls have consistent orgasms during intercourse.

This is partly due to the fact that everyone needs an individual approach to achieve orgasm.For example, some girls achieve peak pleasure more easily during cunnilingus or through direct finger stimulation of the clitoris, while others prefer vaginal sex. In addition, many people have psychological or physical barriers, especially if they have had negative sexual experiences in the past, are unsure of themselves, or are afraid of something.

A survey by Cosmopolitan magazine found that many women (67% at once) imitate orgasm, and although they are guided by good intentions, this does not promote mutual understanding between partners and reinforces unrealistic expectations of men.

Interestingly, in the above-mentioned Cosmopolitan poll, exactly half of the readers stated that “ almost have reached orgasm”, which suggests that by armed with a few tricks, you will increase your girlfriend’s chances of going from “almost” to complete bliss.

How to please your wife and help her reach orgasm: 7 tips

1. Stimulate her clitoris

Good old vaginal sex is certainly good, but not every girl can be brought to orgasm. Studies have shown that it is easier for a woman to climax during penetration (penetrative sex) if the head of the clitoris is less than 2.5 centimeters from the entrance to the vagina (the farther – the more difficult).

At the same time, three quarters of women need direct stimulation of the head of the clitoris, and again we cite the figures from the Cosmopolitan survey: 38% of the participants said that they could not reach orgasm due to insufficient stimulation of the clitoris, and another 30% said they had the wrong type of stimulation …By the way, clitoris stimulation is the key to success if you are interested in how to bring your wife to a jet orgasm.

Previously, it was believed that the clitoris is a small piece of flesh above the vagina, but relatively recently it turned out that this organ is much larger than and anatomically is a complete analogue of the penis . Outside (in the upper part of the labia) is only the tip of the iceberg – the head of the clitoris, hidden by the hood (skin of the foreskin). It is with her help that a woman reaches orgasm.It has been proven that orgasm is impossible without the head of the clitoris (even though orgasm often occurs without direct stimulation of the head).

Most of this organ is located inside, where the clitoris diverges into two cavernous (cavernous) bodies – spongy organs, shaped like horns, similar to the cavernous bodies of the penis (only smaller). When a woman is aroused, the cavernous bodies are filled with blood and tightly cover the vagina on both sides – hence the pleasant sensations upon penetration.

The clitoral bulbs located under the skin of the labia minora, when excited, also fill with blood and cover the opening of the vagina – then it expands, and its sensitivity increases.

The main part of the clitoris, however, is the glans, which, despite the obvious difference in size, are about twice as sensitive as the glans of the penis. In the latter, 4 thousand sensitive nerve fibers were found, and in the head of the clitoris – 8 thousand. Hence the difficulty in understanding how light stimulation is sometimes required for this delicate organ.Be sure to discuss the details of clitoral caresses with your girlfriend, and if she does not like direct touch, caress him through the hood or next to him.

2. Caress her all over, not just erogenous zones

From head to soles, every square inch of your body is a sensual playground, but too many men focus on just a few gold veins (like breasts) and forget about the rest.

Touch her everywhere. Everywhere.Think of sex as a full body massage that ultimately includes the genitals. By the way, erotic massage relaxes well, and it helps women (and men) to have an orgasm.

3. Take your time

Long and sensual foreplay increases the girl’s chances of having an orgasm. Compared to men, most women take significantly longer to warm up before having vaginal or anal sex. Therefore, if you are wondering how to quickly bring your wife to orgasm, then be patient and take your time (this is such a paradox).

Sex therapists recommend that you spend at least 30 minutes kissing, hugging and sensual fondling all over your body before finally having sex.

4. Use lubricant

The wetter the better. In just a few seconds, the lubricant makes the female (and male) genitals more sensitive, so it helps women experience orgasms. The most widely used lubricant is saliva. It is always at hand, but dries quickly and is not very slippery.

Therefore, be sure to try the special lubricants that are sold in pharmacies and online sex shops. They are safe, inexpensive, and often flavored as well. Most importantly, do not spray lubricant directly on the female genitals. It can be cold and annoying. Squeeze a little into your palm, rub it with your fingers to warm it, and then touch your friend’s labia. Just in case, we remind you that oil-based lubricant is not suitable for sex with a condom, and silicone lubricant is incompatible with silicone vibrators.It is best to use a water-based lubricant.

5. Break out of your routine

Have you ever noticed how sex seems more exciting in hotels? This is because sex in a hotel is not a routine. The brain chemical (neurotransmitter) dopamine controls our libido. As dopamine rises, arousal and likelihood of orgasm increase. What raises dopamine levels? Novelty. So try something different with your wife – whatever. Make love in a new place, at a different time, or in a different setting, such as by candlelight, with music, or using sex toys.

6. Improve your oral sex skills

Do you like blowjob? You don’t have to answer, we think we know the answer. And just like with men, women tend to avoid oral sex if they have had an unpleasant previous experience.

Therefore, it is very important to learn how to make cunnilingus so that it brings pleasure, not discomfort. How to bring your wife to orgasm with your tongue? Read good advice about this in a separate article.

7. Get a vibrator and other sex toys to bed

Even if you do all of the above, some women still have problems with orgasm and need the intense stimulation that only vibrators can provide.

Today many girls have vibrators, but few couples include them in partner sex, because some men are afraid of being “replaced”. This is complete nonsense. Power tools are not a substitute for craftsmen. They are just auxiliary tools designed to add new sensations and excite both.

By the way, if you are wondering how to bring your wife to anal orgasm, then, alas, we have to disappoint you: anal orgasm does not exist, however, as well as vaginal. Orgasms in women, as we already wrote in more detail above, only the head of the clitoris (however, like you). True, in certain positions, her clitoris can rub against your pubis, which will make penetrative sex more pleasant.

To give a girl pleasure during anal sex, we advise you to use the butt plug in advance to prepare the sphincter.The plug can be gently inserted during foreplay and left there for 15 minutes, removing just before penetration. During sex itself, the presence of a large amount of silicone-based lubricant (it is possible with a warming effect), as well as smooth, soft movements, will help. Remember to use a condom and change it every time you change the holes.

You can find the most suitable positions for anal sex in our special section. And do not forget: if you use vibrators, then only with special restraints: it is expensive and painful to get objects that slip inside.

Bonus: Factors Helping Women Achieve Orgasm

A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior provides a very interesting list of factors that make girls more likely to orgasm. We hasten to share this list with you and advise you to take it into service.

A whopping 80% of women said they had an orgasm:

Oral sex;
Vaginal sex;
Manual stimulation of the clitoris;
Passionate kisses;
Wearing sexy underwear;
Erotic massage;
Possibility to share your wishes with a partner;
Compliments from a partner during sex;
Shared bath or shower;
Sexting;
A pleasant time together outside of bed.

How to make a girl squirt, preparation and comfortable positions

Every man wants to be an ideal sexual partner for his woman. When all the poses have been tested, the joys have been known, and the techniques of oral and anal caresses have been studied, it seems that nothing new will happen in intimate life. But this is not the case! To remain an unsurpassed lover for your girlfriend in the future, you can give her a squirt. Another name is jet orgasm, and we will find out how to bring the girl to it.

What is squirting

We know a lot about male ejaculation, but nothing about female ejaculation, but it exists! From time to time, everyone watches porn about cumming girls, and so a special topic in these videos is precisely squirt or jet orgasm – the process of secreting liquid transparent secretion (urethral ejaculate) from the female genital organs at the moment of the highest pleasure during orgasmic discharge. Ejection can occur repeatedly. As practice shows, men are insanely excited by this, many ask to be on top so that the jet goes to them.

Some women who experience a jet orgasm during sex are embarrassed by this, mistakenly believing the fluid that is released is an involuntary discharge of urine. But in vain! The sensations received by the girl cannot be compared with any others. Therefore, today we are teaching materiel – how to bring a girl to squirt in different ways: with hands, tongue during Cooney or with a vibrator.

What sensations a woman experiences during a jet orgasm

As we have already said, the sensations received bring unearthly pleasure, which is not given by any kind of orgasm.What does a girl feel at the moment of a jet orgasm?

First of all, a false urge to urinate will be the exact harbinger of squirt. It will seem to you that you are about to spontaneously describe yourself. Don’t be afraid – these are deceiving sensations.
At the moment of the peak of pleasure and the release of liquid secretion, the maximum relaxation occurs , bordering on loss of consciousness.
A slight tremor , resembling convulsions, passes through the body.Heaviness appears in the limbs. Some girls reported numbness and leg cramps.
After that comes complete mental relaxation and pleasant, enveloping the body, fatigue .

The girl’s first experience of squirt can cause some psychological reactions, not entirely positive. In the general mass, ladies note bewilderment, awkwardness, embarrassment, stupor. Most of all, women are afraid that they will alienate their partner and disgust him.

Dear beauties, put silly thoughts out of your head! A jet orgasm in a woman excites a man, and also hangs a multi-ton medal on his neck for special merits in a sexual marathon – after all, it was he who brought her to the peak of pleasure! We assure you that he added a thousand points to himself in the rating for the quality of sex)))

Preparing for a squirt: what to think about in advance

Having clarified the basic concepts, we turn to the important part – preparing for a squirt.If you wish, you can discuss with your partner if she wants to experiment this way. If the girl begins to feel shy, try to explain that the fluid from the urethra is not urine, so there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. A natural process from which you will get even more emotions and sensations.

When a woman agrees to such sexual abuse, a man needs to pay attention to several points.

Since most of the guys bring the girl to squirt with their hands (fingers), be sure to cut nails shortly and wash their hands thoroughly.
For easy entry into the vagina we use special lubricants . They will facilitate the sliding of both fingers, and a penis, and a vibrator – depending on how you will bring your beloved to a jet orgasm.
When squirt, a different volume of liquid is released – from a few drops to 50 ml. In order not to embarrass the girl with wet sheets, we are preparing a towel .
Explain to your partner that before the sexual experiment it is worth doing all the “small” and “large” things in the toilet )
And, as always, foreplay. Prelude will help your lady to relax and tune in to new sensations.
We certainly don’t forget about a pleasant atmosphere : music, wine, snacks, aromatic oils, maybe a bubble bath and candles.

If you want to bring a girl to squirt with a dick, which is not always possible the first time due to the special location of the G-spot, warm up the vagina with your fingers, tongue or a vibrator. You can start warming up with an erotic or tantric massage and gentle words about how beautiful and sexy she is.

We advise you to read this interesting and informative article to use some unusual tricks to warm up your pussy before squirting.

How to find the G-spot and bring a woman to a jet orgasm

The G-spot or, in other words, the Graffenberg point is one of the parts of the vagina that can be called the female prostate. It is she who is responsible for internal orgasm, including jet orgasm. Fortunately for men, all girls have it in one place with a slight difference of a few millimeters.The G-spot is located on the anterior wall of the vagina in the form of a dense red tubercle, which is almost impossible to feel with your fingers in an unexcited state. As soon as the blood rushes to the vagina, it begins to enlarge and becomes similar in texture and size to a walnut.

Where is the G-spot and how to stimulate it

You can feel the point G at a distance of 3-4 cm from the entrance to the vagina . If you can find her, then your girlfriend is guaranteed an orgasm, which cannot be said about squirt.Unfortunately, the ability to ejaculate is not given to all the fair sex, but it’s still worth finding this zone of pleasure.

We insert two fingers into the vagina, middle and ring, with the palm upwards – the position of the fingers plays a decisive role! We press them against the upper wall of the vagina as tightly as possible and make up and down movements. The bottom wall can be massaged with the back side, as if lightly touching. Do not forget about stimulation of the labia and clitoris , which increase arousal.

For those who are especially impatient, we note right away: if you think that after a couple of minutes of fiddling with your fingers, your beloved will squirt all night, then you are greatly mistaken. For a real jet orgasm, especially for the first time, you have to pant. An untrained hand gets tired quickly, so be prepared to switch fingers.

The more often you work out the G-spot, the cooler your orgasms and squirt will be.

Last steps: how to give a woman a jet orgasm

We have already described how to perform stimulation to bring a girl to squirt, but do not forget about some more features.In the process of sexual intercourse, it is important to listen to the natural reactions of the partner. Each woman is individual: one likes the rigidity and dominance of a man, the other prefers tenderness, affection and slow sensual penetration. Therefore, the degree and strength of the insertion of the fingers or a member must be alternated.

Squirt with clitoral orgasm is something incredible. Such sex will be remembered by the girl for the rest of her life. If you are uncomfortable with caressing your clitoris along with the G-spot, use sex toys that will do everything for you.Perhaps the touch of a vibrator or enhanced clitoral stimulator will become more exciting for her. In addition to these toys, you can use the clitoral vacuum massager in the form of a suction cup, which elegantly imitates cunnilingus, or the pulsator with a ribbed texture and curved head – you can play it in the water!

To describe all the sex toys that can bring a girl to orgasm, the whole article is not enough! That is why we invite you to visit the coolest sex shop and get acquainted with the latest intimate goods in the section “Vibrators” – 100% of you will visit certain ideas for the coming weekend!

The main task of a man is to relax the girl , not to give her a reason to think about how she looks from the outside.As soon as your kitty says that she wants to go to the toilet, it means that you have passed half the way and you can rejoice: everything is done correctly, you are at the finish line. To bring the girl to a jet orgasm, we do not slow down at this moment, even if we are tired.

So, finally, everything happened, what can you see after? A clear or whitish liquid, like a fountain or a powerful stream, came out of the urethra. At this moment, the partner feels deep waves throughout the body. Some women may find themselves in a semi-faint state, because the power of such an orgasm is simply extraordinary.

You can get a girl to squirt quickly enough if you do everything as described above. Meanwhile, the partner should take into account that all this is new to her, she may get scared and interrupt the process. Well, her right. There is no need to insist on continuation or repetition. If, nevertheless, a woman allows this to be done with her, be sure to choose the right position for squirt to maximally stimulate point G.

In what positions can you bring a girl to squirt

According to fans of special sex techniques, the following positions will be ideal.

The girl lies on her back with her legs wide apart. The partner’s task is to insert her middle and index fingers into her vagina so that the palm is facing up. At the same time, we bend the fingers. When you decide to change your hands to a penis, you can place a pillow under her thighs. In fact, this is the most common “missionary” position .

Stimulating the G-spot with hands and penis is very comfortable in knee-elbow position . The man is positioned so that his hips are slightly higher than the woman’s.This will direct the member down – just in time for the coveted tubercle.

For those girls who are familiar with anal sex, you can offer the “brace” version : the index finger is inserted into the vagina, the thumb is inserted into the anus. Movements should be fast, with a gradual build-up of pace.
For those who do not want to get their sheets dirty, we recommend the upright with the leg raised and out to the side. The girl stands in this position, and the man caresses her with his fingers or a vibrator.With a member in this position, it will not work to bring a woman to a squirt, since you simply will not reach the desired “button”.
How did we forget about the pose “rider” ? After all, in her, the girl herself controls her feelings! It can act on any area of the vagina to stimulate the G-spot of the male genitals. If the lady has no experience in squirting, help her – move her hips so that the penis is rubbing against the front wall of the vagina.

And, of course, spoon pose .A special relish is additional caresses of the clitoris or nipples with a free hand. So that the member rested against the right place, we do not raise the girl’s legs. Let her keep them tight together.

Do not forget that the incision of the labia can be located in girls in different ways. And the positions “behind” are more suitable for those who have them closer to the anus or exactly in the middle. How to determine? When the girl is standing upright, the incision either protrudes slightly upward or is not visible at all. Girls who have it closer to the pubis are unlikely to experience jet orgasm in such positions.They are much more suited to poses where the man is in front.

We told you about best sex positions for jet orgasm , and it would seem that it’s time to say goodbye, but no! After all, there is still one more way how to properly bring a woman to squirt, which we will tell about …

How to bring a girl to squirt with a vibrator

So, wet work is done not only with the penis and hands – as they say, not made with a finger))) In general, a vibrator and other intimate goods will be good helpers in bringing a lady to aerobatics! If you do, you will definitely receive a T-shirt with the words “Sex Giant” on February 23rd.

Who are these assistants? Remember, this is squirt friends.

Vibrating massagers for the clitoris and vibrators with a special bend for the point G – without annoying sounds, with clear control, can be in the form of a petal, a penis, a light bulb, etc. They are generally flexible and manoeuvrable. The vibration modes are adjustable, that is, you can easily adjust the intensity to the woman’s desires. The climax is reached much faster than finger jerking.
Intimate point creams G . There are special gels and lubricants with aromatic oils to stimulate it. They not only make it easier to enter the vagina, but also enhance sensations.

If you bought a G-spot vibrator, you can bend it in all directions, because they are so flexible that they bend into a ring. Even the most hard-to-reach point of sensuality will be discovered, regardless of the posture and physiology of the girl))) Get ready for the fact that your woman will constantly ask for such super pleasure.