Discover the secrets to becoming a master kisser. From ensuring consent to staying present, these expert-backed tips will elevate your kissing game and take your romantic connections to new heights.

The Power of Presence: Staying Mindful During Intimate Moments

Kissing is a deeply intimate form of communication, yet it’s easy to get caught up in distracting thoughts during the act. Psychotherapist Chamin Ajjan emphasizes the importance of being present and tuning into your senses to make the most of each kiss. “Often we’re thinking, ‘Am I doing this right? Are they enjoying it? Does my breath stink?'” she explains. “But if you’re able to shift focus to your partner, kissing becomes a mindful activity where you’re tuning into your senses and theirs, which can make the moment more fun and satisfying.”

For some, like 31-year-old Jillian from California, staying in the moment can be a challenge, especially when a toddler or work worries compete for attention. Ajjan recommends a grounding technique: pay attention to what you can feel, hear, see, smell, and taste. This can help you get out of your head and into your body, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the kiss.

The Art of Consent: Asking for Permission to Kiss

Obtaining clear consent before kissing someone new is crucial, and it can even be a turn-on. “Consent is sexy,” says 27-year-old Alanna from Canada. Some, like 37-year-old Kim from Illinois, recommend directly asking if the other person wants to be kissed and then showing them you listened to their answer. This can lead to a “mind-blowing experience,” as 26-year-old Scarlett from Colorado puts it.

Norma, 60, from Canada, recalls a particularly memorable first kiss when she was 15 years old, where her date asked for permission before leaning in. “He looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Would it be okay if I kissed you?’ I had never been asked by anyone before,” Norma tells SELF. “With my permission, he leaned in and gave me a gentle but firm kiss. I’m 60 now and I still think of him in the most special way.”

The Lasting Impression: Lingering Kisses

While the length of a kiss can vary depending on the context, experts suggest letting your lips linger, even for shorter kisses. “The sweet forehead kiss you want at 8 a.m. is wildly different from the passionate lip-lock you may crave after hours,” the article notes. “But even if all you’re planning is a quick peck as a send-off or greeting, letting your lips linger—even for just a moment—can make the experience more memorable and meaningful.”

Variety is the Spice of Life: Exploring Different Kissing Techniques

Mixing up your kissing techniques can keep the experience fresh and exciting. “Kissing is better once you’ve learned what the other person likes,” says 26-year-old Scarlett from Colorado. This could involve trying different speeds, pressures, and angles to find what works best for you and your partner.

Experimentation is key, as 37-year-old Kim from Illinois explains: “Ask them how they want to be kissed, and then show them you listened to their answer.” By tailoring your approach to your partner’s preferences, you can create a truly memorable and mutually satisfying kissing experience.

The Importance of Hygiene: Keeping Your Breath Fresh

While it may seem obvious, maintaining good oral hygiene can significantly impact the quality of your kisses. “Worrying about potential disasters at work is probably the worst enemy of in-the-moment kissing,” says 53-year-old Elizabeth from Texas, who finds that concerns about her breath can distract her from fully enjoying the experience.

Taking the time to brush your teeth, use mouthwash, or chew gum can help alleviate any self-consciousness and allow you to be more present during intimate moments with your partner.

Relationship Satisfaction: The Link Between Kissing and Overall Happiness

According to a 2021 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, the frequency of kissing in a long-term heterosexual relationship can have a significant impact on overall sexual and relationship satisfaction. The researchers found that couples who kissed less frequently reported lower levels of satisfaction in both areas.

This underscores the importance of prioritizing physical intimacy, including kissing, as a way to maintain a healthy and fulfilling partnership. By incorporating these expert-backed tips into your kissing repertoire, you can deepen your emotional and physical connection with your partner, leading to greater satisfaction in your relationship.

The Art of Adapting: Kissing in the Modern Era

The past couple of years have presented unique challenges when it comes to physical intimacy, with many people wondering if it’s even okay to kiss someone new. Ajjan acknowledges this uncertainty, noting that “the last couple of years have left many of us wondering if it’s even okay to kiss someone new.”

However, by following the principles of consent, presence, and adaptability, couples can navigate the complexities of modern kissing and find ways to connect physically that feel safe and comfortable for both partners. The key is to communicate openly, respect boundaries, and remain flexible as societal norms continue to evolve.

How to Kiss Someone: 9 Tips to Make Kissing Even Better

Kissing is a form of communication—a body language if you will—but how to kiss someone, even if you’ve been making out for years, isn’t always clear. (Not to mention the fact that the last couple of years have left many of us wondering if it’s even okay to kiss someone new.) That’s because context—the who, where, why, and when of it all—matters. One person’s fantasy kiss might be another’s cringiest nightmare.

“To be fair, kissing is weird,” Brooklyn-based psychotherapist Chamin Ajjan, a licensed clinical social worker, cognitive behavioral therapist, certified sex therapist and author of Seeking Soulmate: Ditch The Dating Game and Find Real Connection, tells SELF. “There’s no clear explanation of how or why kissing started, why we stick our mouths together, and why that’s desirable.” Strange as it may be, kissing can also be freakin’ fantastic, and you can up your odds of making it so by trying your best to stay in the moment, according to Ajjan.

“Often we’re thinking, ‘Am I doing this right? Are they enjoying it? Does my breath stink?,’” she says. (Or, if you’re in a long-term relationship, you may be wondering if you forgot to take the whites out of the dryer or debating whether to add bananas to your online shopping cart.) “But if you’re able to shift focus to your partner, kissing becomes a mindful activity where you’re tuning into your senses and theirs, which can make the moment more fun and satisfying,” Ajjan says.

According to a 2021 study of 878 people in long-term heterosexual relationships published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, how satisfied you are with your partnership may depend not only on how much you love the other person, but how much you’re, you guessed it, kissing them. Specifically, researchers found that couples who kissed less frequently reported lower sexual and overall relationship satisfaction.

With that in mind, we asked Ajjan—as well as everyday people who have done their fair share of kissing—what they think makes a kiss really, really good.

1. Make sure your partner is into it.

As with any act of intimate touching, getting expressed permission before making your move with a new partner is, of course, key. (Here’s more expert advice on why and how to have consent conversations.) Asking for permission to kiss someone may seem stodgy, but it can honestly be hot. For some people, this is a sign of respect that will make them want to kiss you even more. “Consent is sexy,” Alanna, 27, from Canada, tells SELF.

Kim, 37, from Illinois, recommends straight-up asking someone if they want to be kissed. If they say yes and it feels right, you can even ask how they want to be kissed, Kim tells SELF. The key here: “Show them you listened to their answer.” This can result in a mind-blowing experience. “Kissing is better once you’ve learned what the other person likes,” Scarlett, 26, from Colorado, tells SELF.

Norma, 60, from Canada, totally agrees about asking first. Her best-ever kiss was when she was 15 years old, and the vocal consent was part of what made it so memorable. “My date looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Would it be okay if I kissed you?’ I had never been asked by anyone before,” Norma tells SELF. “With my permission, he leaned in and gave me a gentle but firm kiss. I’m 60 now and I still think of him in the most special way.”

2. It bears repeating: Try to be in the moment.

If you’re in the early days of dating and steamy makeout sessions dominate your time together, congratulations. Soak it up. But when other demands compete for your attention, being present can get tricky. For example, Jillian, a 31-year-old mother in California, tells SELF she gets easily distracted when she’s with her partner. “I have a hard time staying in the moment. Especially when our toddler—and sometimes her noisy toys—are in the room.”

For Elizabeth, 53, from Texas, bedtime and early morning ruminations about her job can quash an otherwise juicy opportunity to connect with her partner. “Worrying about potential disasters at work is probably the worst enemy of in-the-moment kissing,” she tells SELF.

To counteract the tendency to mentally meander, Ajjan recommends paying attention to what you can feel, hear, see, smell, and taste—a grounding technique often employed in mindfulness practice that can help you get out of your head and into your body. Indeed, AJ, 44, from Washington, says a good kiss with her girlfriend is like a form of meditation. “We start breathing in unison, and it calms me down. Everything is right in the world,” she tells SELF.

3. Let your lips linger—even for shorter kisses.

The sweet forehead kiss you want at 8 a.m. is wildly different from the passionate lip-lock you may crave after hours. But even if all you’re planning is a quick peck as a send-off or greeting, Ajjan says one of the most underrated tips for a great kiss is to elongate it. “The six-second kiss, as described by marriage and relationship expert John Gottman, is actually a pretty long kiss,” she says. But when you take the time to do it, “it’s an opportunity to really tune into and sync with each other, which can help you feel more connected. ”

What happens while you’re syncing? According to Ajjan, a lot, at least chemically speaking. First, your body releases the bonding hormone oxytocin when you kiss, so you feel more attached to your partner. In addition, research shows that kissing may reduce cortisol, a stress hormone, while amping up the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine. The end result: You can feel a bit euphoric.

Erin, 38, from Washington, says she uses something like the six-second trick when her girlfriend is stressed. “When she gets into a mode of trying to get a bunch of stuff done, that’s when I grab her and try to ground her with a longer kiss.”

4. If everyone is down with tongue, introduce it slowly.

Kissing with tongue (also known as French kissing) can be really pleasurable for some people, but you should make sure to introduce your tongue into your partner’s mouth slowly and sensually—unless you’ve both verbalized that you’re into more intense tongue action right off the bat. As you may have experienced, an unexpected tongue darting in and out of your mouth can be an unwelcome surprise.

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Not only can taking your time in the tongue department help you gauge what works with a new kissing partner, but it can increase connection and satisfaction, no matter how many times you’ve locked lips, Ajjan says.

LaVonne, 59, from Massachusetts, says that, for her, less is more when it comes to tongue but for the partner who gets it right, magic ensues. “Firm but tender, sensitive, urgent with passion and just the tiniest hint of tongue. It’s like finding a long-lost sense of yourself that has been dormant,” she tells SELF.

Amanda, 43, from Illinois, gets lost in a tongue kiss with the right person, too. “If the connection is there, it’s like everything around you stops and you are all in,” she tells SELF.

To give yourself the best odds of hitting just the right amount of tongue, Erin suggests following the other person’s lead (as long as it feels good to you). “Note how far they’re putting their tongue in your mouth, and match it,” she says. Then you can experiment with a little more, and see how they respond.

5. Build your way up to sharing more saliva.

Among people who love French kissing, everyone has a different threshold for intensity. Sharing each other’s saliva can feel very intimate for some people, so it’s best to build your way up slowly, and make sure your partner is enjoying it, too.

Melissa is in the less-tongue-is-better camp. “Don’t use too much tongue because that gets wet and gross,” she says. “No one wants to feel like they’re being slobbered on like a dog.”

April, 32, from the British Virgin Islands, is in a similar boat. “I hate sloppy kisses—hate them,” she tells SELF. “I love gentle, full smooches with lips and a slight caress of our tongues.”

But it can be a fine line to walk. Annie, 30, from California, notes that using too much or too little saliva can be less than pleasant. She’s all about that happy medium.

Of course, “slobber,” “sloppy,” and “happy saliva medium” are relative terms when it comes to spit-swapping. One person’s overwhelming slobber can be another’s super-sexy, romantic French kissing session. You won’t know how your kissing partner feels about saliva unless you ask. Even something as simple as, “Is this okay?” or “Do you like that?” may do the trick.

6. Don’t neglect other body parts.

What you do with your hands often dictates how passionate kissing can be, and it doesn’t have to be complicated.

For example, Bailey, 33, from Texas, thinks hand placement is about balance. “I don’t want someone to be too grabby and rough, or too soft and timid,” she tells SELF, noting that she’s turned off by both. Jillian, on the other hand, says more is more. “Running his hand down my back? Holding the back of my head? Even a nice butt grab? All about it. Hands are half of kissing.”

To ensure you get the action you’re looking for, don’t be shy about asking for what you want, Ajjan says. (Remember: It’s always good to ask if you’re even remotely unsure about how your partner feels about what you’re doing or want to do—whether it’s touching their body or anything else. )

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Then give feedback along the way if your mood or desire changes. Jillian says verbal direction works in her marriage. “If one of us wants to do something else, we just say it. Don’t be afraid to vocalize what you want. It’s effective and can be sexy.”

Amy, 47, from California, uses more subtle cues when she wants a change. “I’ve learned to redirect my husband with action,” she tells SELF. “I’ll show him what I want by holding my lips open or pulling back.”

And don’t underestimate the hotness potential of kissing something other than their lips, provided consent is there. A related kissing tip from Amy: Trace a part of their neck with your finger before gently kissing the same spot. She says these nonmouth kisses can electrify the makeout sesh. “For some people it’s the ears, for others it’s the neck. I just think kisses that land somewhere other than the lips are largely underrated,” she says.

7. If you’re going to bite, be gentle.

In the heat of the moment, kissing can get intense. For some, that intensity looks like light biting. But Ajjan recommends pacing yourself when the urge arises and watching for physical cues (or verbal, if you’re really unsure). “You don’t want to go from zero to 60 and risk hurting someone,” she says. “Tune into your partner, and then play around with a little biting, just not hard.”

“When I’m really in the mood, I love a really passionate kiss,” Amanda says. “I lightly lick his lips and gently bite and pull on them.” Erin agrees some playful teeth-to-lip action turns up the heat a notch. “Soft biting is animalistic. It says ‘I’m ready to take this a step further,’” she says.

But it’s important to note that not everyone is into it. “I have way too many memories of recoiling from that bizarre encounter where someone thought biting was exciting,” LaVonne says. If you want to give it a go, wait for the mood to strike then give it a gentle try on your partner’s bottom lip while you’re kissing. If you’ve got someone more like LaVonne on your hands, move on to something else.

8. Keep your lips soft and breathe fresh.

We know this isn’t revolutionary, but it’s worth mentioning that no matter how top-notch your kissing technique, dry, cracked lips can potentially make the experience uncomfortable for both partners.

If you don’t moisturize your lips, now might be the time to start. Try gently exfoliating with a wet washcloth or a sugary lip scrub, and then apply a thick layer of moisturizing balm right before bed. (Need more lip tips? Here’s SELF’s full guide to getting the softest lips possible. But if a medical concern such as cold sores is affecting your lips, this advice won’t cut it—you’ll want to see your primary care doctor or a dermatologist for proper treatment.)

If you can, avoid foods that might make your breath particularly pungent right before a kiss, naturally, but know that certain tastes can work to your advantage, too. Carrie, 28, from North Carolina, says the first time her boyfriend said he loved her, they were brushing their teeth. “It was perfect. I told him I loved him, too, and then we had the best kiss ever, all pepperminty and sweet,” she tells SELF. “And then we kept brushing our teeth.”

9. Give—and take—kissing feedback gracefully.

You can be a bad kisser according to one person and a lip-locking sorceress to another—it’s all so personal. That’s why you need to be open to communicating your own desires, as well as listening to what your partner wants. But telling someone you don’t like how they kiss can be hard. 

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Suzanne, 57, from California, says she was so concerned about hurting her ex-partner’s feelings, she didn’t say anything at all. “I dated a bad kisser, but I thought if I told him it might send him reeling, wondering why no one before me hadn’t told him.”

But Ajjan says you don’t have to come down hard on someone to get the message across. Rather than saying “I didn’t like [it] when you did X,” try teeing up what you did like. Erin leans into strengths-based feedback, too: “I think saying something like ‘I really liked when you did XYZ,’ or ‘How do you do that?’ can work.”

If you feel a little shy about straight-up telling your partner what you’re into, you can also tell them you’d like to show them the kind of kiss that makes you weak in the knees, Devoreaux, 28, from Texas, tells SELF. “Playfully display what you like in a kiss, showing where and how you enjoy it most,” she says.

And don’t worry if you’re not landing kisses worthy of a rom-com yet. “Just because you’ve had bad kissing experiences, that doesn’t mean that you’re a bad kisser,” Ajjan tells SELF. “You can learn what works with communication, practice, and the willingness to be vulnerable.”

Related:

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• 14 Audio Porn and Erotica Sources to Help Turn You On
• How Unsanitary Is It to Kiss Your Pet on the Mouth?

How to Kiss – 20 Best Kissing Tips in 2023

Let’s be real — there are two ends to the kissing spectrum. You can have an awesome experience with a partner who knows *just* what you like, or you’re faced with too much tongue and slobber. No one wants to be known for the latter, which is why it’s important to understand all the factors that go into the perfect kissing technique. Whether you’re new to this whole kissing thing or you’ve been a master for years now, there is always something to learn about how to kiss. It not only comes down to attraction for the person you’re sharing a smooch with but respecting boundaries, practicing consent, and understanding what you both like. And, just when you think you’ve seen it all, there are so many different types of kisses to try out with your boo. We know it seems like a lot to master, but keep reading for the best tips and tricks on how to be a good kisser.

Don’t kiss anyone you don’t really want to kiss

Before we get into things, there’s one point we have to go over. The best way to guarantee you’re going to kiss like a pro? Kiss someone you actually want to kiss. If you’re locking lips with someone just because you feel like you “should” or because you feel pressure, then step away from the face. You don’t owe anyone—I repeat, anyone—a kiss.

Respect consent, always

A well-timed “Can I kiss you?” is a swoon-worthy move every single time. Why? Because it shows that you care about your partner’s boundaries and don’t want to do anything they’re not ready for. You have to make sure that you’re on the same page before you get down to a passionate make-out.

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Understand the importance of setting

Like your English teacher says, setting = time + place. Is the right spot for a first kiss at your grandma’s house or in the middle of an argument? Probably not. Wait until you can feel the electricity crackling between you to make your move. It’ll be way better in the end.

Keep your breath fresh

Another important tip for how to kiss someone is as simple as these two words: fresh breath. You don’t want to be up close and personal to someone’s face space only to find that their mouth smells, you know, not great. If you’re anticipating a trip to Makeout Town, avoid any and all stank-inducing foods like garlic, onions, and processed cheese.

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Ask your partner what

they want

Good kissers skip to the best parts by taking control and mentioning the things they do like. It can be as simple as saying “So, that tongue move you just did — I like that,” as well as providing alternatives for the things they don’t like. Play show and tell by performing the move on your partner and then asking them to do it back to you. Teaching can be really fun and spice up your makeout sesh.

Pay attention to what your partner does

As we just mentioned, your current kissing partner might be trying to show you what they want, so pay attention to their moves. Slow down, take note of the things your partner does, and then gently do it back. If they respond with enthusiasm, you’ll know you got their message. Remember that the show isn’t all about you: you’re both in control.

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• 20 Types of Kisses to Step Up Your Makeout Game

Keep the kisses simple

Thinking too hard about going for a random trick you read about online is a quick way to turn a make-out session into something that feels a lot like a dental cleaning. Want to know how to be a good kisser? Start off small and slow, then try out your moves when it feels natural and you feel most comfortable. You’ll know when the time is right.

Avoid the hickey

Question: Who thought it would be sexy to literally be a mouth vacuum and leave bruises on someone’s skin? While it may be some people’s bread and butter, hickeys aren’t for everyone. Instead, opt for small kisses along the neck or even a gentle nibble (not suck) can be a major turn-on. Do that instead, and save you both the embarrassment of a spotted neck.

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And, in the event that you do end up with a hickey and are lacking some turtlenecks in your wardrobe, make sure you know how to cover it up properly.

Kiss all over the place

Getting tired of the same pecks on the lips? Go for some more unique spots that will drive your significant other wild. Here are some fun spots to try.

• The neck
• Under the jawbone
• Soft spot behind the earlobe
• The little dip in the collarbone
• Tip of the nose
• Forehead
• Shoulder

Taking a break to explore will give both of you a second to breathe and enjoy yourselves.

Megan Tatem

Map out your kisses

Consider this a Google Maps for your make-out:

1. Start at the lips, kissing without tongue gently down towards the chin, then all along the jawbone, towards the ear. From here, give their earlobe a little nip or whisper something sweet (or sexy) in their ear.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

2. Sneak up on your partner from behind and kiss from the top of their shoulder, along the curve towards their ear.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

3. Gently kiss down the forehead, starting on the forehead, along the slope of the nose, and ending at the lips. Your partner will be so ready for the makeout by the time you get there.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Opt for more low-key public displays of affection

Even the best kisser may want to keep their skills under wraps in public. A hot-and-heavy public make-out in the school hallway may not be considered cute by every passerby. Instead of recreating that Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes video, opt for tiny pecks in these low-key places.

• Facing each other on the bus? Go for the tip-of-the-nose.
• Approaching them while they’re sitting? Go for the forehead.
• Strolling along, holding hands? Go for the knuckle-peck.
• Netflix with the fam? Go for the inside-of-the-wrist lip-graze.

Keep your tongue in check

Using too much tongue is a major kissing mistake. Start off by lightly finding their tongue with the tip of yours, then pull back. Then, try grazing past the tip of their tongue and pull back. Circle the tip of their tongue, then pull back. The pullback gives you time to breathe and keeps from an overflow of saliva.

When you’re feeling up for it, you can try running your tongue just along the inside of their upper lip, or pull a quick lick under their top lip in a sort of come-here maneuver.

Don’t nibble—

tug

Good teeth action starts with taking your partner’s bottom lip between your front teeth, giving a gentle tug, and letting go. When you think about it, it’s not so bad.

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Build up to the big moment

Before kissing, lean in and swipe your lips past theirs, slowly and lightly, then pull back. Take a one-two pause to bask in your partner’s “I need your face” reaction before going in for the kill. And for those feeling sassy: If you’ve taken a break and are getting ready to lean back in, build up some anticipation by pulling back a half-inch and smiling. A little tantalization goes a long way.

Keep your hands on the good spots

When you first start in on the monumental kiss you’ve been waiting all these months for, you might wonder, what am I supposed to do with my hands? Stick to the good spots, my friend. Here are all the best options:

Place both of your hands on either side of their head, then slide them back into their hair.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Put one on their lower back and one behind the neck (can also venture into Hair Land).

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Try both hands lightly resting on their chest.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Or, opt for both hands on their hips, which you can then sneak around their lower back for a squeeze.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Pull on the neck of their shirt a little bit.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Lastly, try running a few fingers up and down their spine, down the nape of their neck, or hovering around their cheeks and jaw.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

You can

actually help a bad kisser

Pause an aggressive kisser by leaning back, putting a hand gently on their collarbone, and approaching very slowly — almost like saying, “Chill. Take it down four notches. Like this.” Reroute an overly acrobatic kisser by pulling back, just enough so you can whisper, and say, “I like this. ” Proceed with what you’d want done to you. (Pray that they’ve read this article and know how to mirror.)

Mix it up

Just because you kiss your partner one way doesn’t mean you can’t mix things up. Surprise can be such an exciting element of kissing. Maybe you change it up by adding in a little tongue or working with your hands a bit more. Feel out the mood to see what kind of kiss would be best.

Always carry lip balm

Yes, a thick coat of shiny gloss will make your lips look deliciously kissable, but when it comes time for actually kissing, you might want to wipe it off beforehand.

Your partner likely wants to taste your actual lips, not your latest Sephora purchase. Stick to a trusty lip balm to keep your pout supple, hydrated, and perfect for kissing.

Laneige Lip Glowy Balm

Laneige Lip Glowy Balm

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Keep your eyes closed

There’s no reason to have your eyes open while you’re making out — it can make things awkward and kill the mood.

Show affection in other ways

Kissing is amazing, but there are so many other ways to show affection. Hold your S/O’s hand and kiss it. Say something unexpected and sweet in your crush’s ear. Get them a little surprise gift for no reason at all. Kissing helps to build romance, but there are so many things that keep that fire alive.

Paramount Pictures

5 hot kissing techniques – Lifehacker

Relationship

January 2, 2017

There are many different types of kissing. Being bewitched by romantic movie scenes, people often strive to repeat the most complex and sophisticated versions of it, which is why they cannot achieve real pleasure. But there are also simple kissing techniques that do not require special efforts and skills, but greatly enrich the intimate experience.

1. Triangle

One of the best kissing techniques. “Triangle” is ideal when partners are face to face. Start kissing your partner on the lips. Then slowly move to the cheeks, and from them to the neck. After that, return to the lips again.

Thus, with kisses you must go through the following trajectory: lips – cheeks – neck – lips. It is extremely important to make transitions between these places smoothly, avoiding sudden movements. While moving, you can lightly bite your partner and make short kisses. So your actions will look more natural.

2. Biting

Most people think that mastery of kissing comes down to mastery of the lips. They are worried about a lot of irrelevant questions: “How hard should I purse my lips?”, “What kissing technique is right for my lips?” and so on. However, a kiss is much more than the contact of lips!

For example, teeth may be involved. There is a right way and a wrong way to use them. As you might guess, the correct method involves careful and gentle biting. There is no need to turn into a predatory beast attacking prey. Try this: when kissing with a partner, pass his lip between your teeth. Then slowly pull it back, allowing the lip to slide out. The technique can be performed with both the upper and lower lip.

Remember, your goal is not to harm your partner, but to give him new sensations.

3. Sucking

This technique is similar to the previous one. Its difference lies in the fact that you clamp your partner’s lips with your lips, and then slowly release them.

Be careful: there is no direct relationship between the force of compression and the pleasure delivered! It’s best to do it gently. There is another way. Imagine that your partner’s lips are like candy on a stick. Just don’t try to bite her!

4. “Hands up!”

One of the most important body parts used in kissing is the hands.

Just keeping hands uninvolved is extremely boring. The minimum program for your limbs is to hug your partner. If this is not enough for you (and usually this is not enough), relax and let your hands freely touch the object of your caresses, including its erogenous zones.

The most suitable places for hand manipulation in an innocent kiss are the hair, head and face. Slowly run your hand through your partner’s hair, massage his neck with your fingers. You can apply some force and change the angle between your faces by tilting his head. The use of hands is an essential element of the process, which can endlessly diversify the pleasure of kissers.

5. Ear caresses

Ears are one of the most sensitive parts of the human body. Therefore, even light sucking of the lobe is enough to excite the partner.

The level up is ear biting. Here you need to be extremely careful. The principle is similar to the technique described in the second paragraph, however, the compression force here should be minimal. Otherwise, you will have a chance to repeat the famous “feat” of Mike Tyson.

How to kiss correctly: instructions, tips, techniques

October 15, 2022, 15:15

Kissing is an important part of showing feelings for another person. The future of the relationship may depend on its quality. Psychologists from the State University of New York at Albany calculated that 59% of men and 66% of women said they ended a nascent relationship because of a bad kiss.

Kissing remains a special cultural marker and element in the study of human psychology and physiology. They influence mate choice and can prolong life. During a kiss, 146 muscles are activated and 80 million bacteria are transferred. A person spends 20 thousand minutes of his life (or two weeks) on this.

In this material, we have analyzed what types of kisses exist, how to kiss correctly and what is needed to achieve the best result.

Kissing the right way: mini-instructions, tips, video explanations for classic kissing

If you are kissing for the first time or have little experience in it, you need to relax and take your time. Prepare in advance: freshen your breath and make sure your lips are sufficiently moist, soft and free of cracks (use a moisturizer or lip balm). What to do next:

1. Extend your lips slightly and touch your partner’s lips. It should be a light and relaxed touch.

2. Squeeze your partner’s upper or lower lip for a few seconds and suck on it.

3. Lean back to make eye contact and see if your partner is comfortable.

4. Kiss again, but more confidently and more intensely. Change the tilt of the head and alternate the upper and lower lips – they can be gently bitten.

5. Change the pace: from gentle touches of the lips to intense movements. But don’t open your mouth too wide and control your breathing.

6. You can use your tongue and use French kissing techniques that involve more than just your lips. Read more here.

We have selected several videos that describe the technique and sequence of actions for a kiss. These are ways to learn how to kiss properly:

Women’s Health interviewed sex therapist Jesse Kahn and intimacy coach Melesa Morris. They identified 15 top tips for kissing:

1. The main priority is the consent of the partner. “Consent at all stages of intimacy is important. Some great ways to ask for consent can be as simple as “Can I kiss you?” or “I want to kiss you – is that okay?”

2. Do not open your mouth too wide. “Everyone’s mouth is different, and some have a wider mouth than others. It will feel over the top if you try to fit someone’s mouth and then feel absorbed or connected to the areas around the mouth rather than the lips.”

3. Fresh breath. “We all know there are times when we wish the other person would let us know if something is wrong.”

4. Take your time. It keeps the feeling. Then you can increase the pace.

5. Before kissing on the lips, smell your partner’s scent to add extra sensuality. To do this, run your nose along the back of your head or behind your ear.

6. Monitor saliva flow. “Saliva is a special nuance, and not everyone is addicted to it. A mouthful of someone else’s saliva can be disgusting, but it can also turn someone else on. Rule of thumb: start slow and then pick up the pace.”

7. Ask your partner if you don’t like something. “Don’t be afraid to ask about what you want. Everything can change from moment to moment.”

8. Kiss not only on the lips, but also on other parts of the body where there are many nerve endings. For example, on the cheeks, forehead or corners of the mouth.

9. Make eye contact before kissing – this is a good indicator to understand what your partner wants.

10. Use your hands. You can stroke the guy or girl in the face, touch the hair or gently take the neck.

11. Tease your partner. “Allow yourself to lean into the kiss, and then very gently pull back and tease. Smile and whisper how excited you are to touch your lips and keep them tight.”

12. Gently suck on your lips or tongue. But you need to understand whether the partner approves of these actions.

13. Experiment. For example, click your partner on the tongue, smack your lips, change the pace from slow to intense.

14. Make sounds. “Making sounds is one of the best ways to activate the parasympathetic system and turn on the kundalini energy [a term from yoga that refers to the energy located at the base of the spine].”

15. Rub your lips with tasty or sweet food. This is one of the ways to get extra sensations and surprise a guy or a girl.

Insider collected data from scientific studies about the behavior of people during a kiss and the elements that partners most often pay attention to. We have highlighted the top tips on how to kiss, improve kissing technique and understand its nature:

1. A glass of wine or a small amount of other alcohol adds passion. This is because alcohol stimulates the release of some of the same chemicals in the brain as kissing.

2. 2/3 of people tilt their heads to the right when kissing = in most cases, also tilt your head to the right.

3. Kissing in a stressful situation will give less effect – all because of the release of cortisol. Kiss when the psychological state is stable.

4. Women are more likely than men to pay attention to the smell of the mouth and note it as an important factor in enjoying a kiss. Watch your oral hygiene.

5. Men prefer a more aggressive style of kissing, women – more gentle and leisurely. Anthropologist Helen Fisher explained: “There is evidence that saliva contains testosterone. There is also evidence that men like more casual kisses with more open mouths. This leads me to believe that they are unconsciously trying to transfer testosterone in order to induce sexual desire in women.”

6. Women judge relationships by the quality of kisses. They prefer a variety of kisses at different stages of a relationship. If you are a man, keep track of how often and in a variety of ways you kiss.

Types of kissing and how to deal with them

In 2015, researchers from the Universities of Nevada and Indiana published a paper in the journal American Anthropologist examining the meaning of kissing in 168 different cultures. According to their data, only in 77 societies (46%) kiss is considered a romantic sign.

Study co-author Justin Garcia said: “This is a reminder that behaviors that seem normal to us are often not found in the rest of the world and may look strange. It is a reminder of romantic and sexual diversity throughout the world, which shows how human biology interacts with cultures and explains the different forms of human behavior.”

William Kane, who wrote the book “The Art of Kissing”, interviewed 150,000 men and women and identified 30 basic ways to kiss. Among the non-standard options is the Eskimo kiss, which in Western culture is perceived as the usual friction of noses:

“The Eskimos have an 11-step procedure. They touch their noses, then press their cheeks together, smack their lips without touching them, just inhaling each other’s scent, then play with their noses again, and then press their noses tightly together in a kiss.

Kisses can be used for various purposes and have special meanings: on the forehead – a manifestation of care, on the cheek – as a sign of greeting, air – light flirting, on the hand – a demonstration of respect. We have identified the types of kisses that are most relevant in a romantic setting:

1. The most popular and common kiss on the lips among men and women is French. In a separate article, we talked about what a French kiss or a kiss with the tongue is. It collects the history of origin, options and advice on the correct technique.

2. Kiss with breath. This type implies that you adjust your breathing to your partner: he inhales, you exhale. The breath kiss is suitable for those who have been in a relationship for a long time and want to get even closer.

3. The vampire kiss is a deep kiss on the neck with light bites. Don’t confuse it with suction. Such a kiss is suitable for an intimate setting.

4. Lizard kiss. It involves tongue touching without the use of lips, where partners can put their tongues in each other’s mouths. This type is most relevant for couples who are counting on new sensations.

5. American kiss. This is the same deep kiss on the lips as French, but without the use of the tongue.