You’re Crushing on a Coworker. Should You Go for it?

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From Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen in Suits to Noh Ji-wook and Eun Bong-hee in Suspicious Partner, workplace romances are prevalent in popular media. IRL, too, crushing on a coworker is common: One recent survey found that half of workers in the United States have dated a colleague — mostly peers (70%) but also their supervisors (18%) and subordinates (21%). In the United Kingdom, that number jumps to two-thirds of workers (66%), according to research published last year.

While some may find those metrics surprising, office romances are at a 10-year low. The current climate around sexual harassment in the wake of the #MeToo movement has likely (and rightfully) played a factor in this decline. Still, when you consider that we spend most of our waking hours at our jobs (one third of our lifetimes to be exact), it seems inevitable that coworker crushes will arise from time to time. As humans, we have a basic need for intimacy and connection, but when we add attraction to this mix, there is bound to be another layer of complication.

How do office romances impact us, our work, and our relationship with our peers?

I reached out to Professor Sean Horan, chair of the Department of Communication at Fairfield University, to learn more about what young professionals need to know. Sean and his research partner, Professor Rebecca Chory, have spent most of their careers trying to understand the implications of having a romantic relationship at work — both on our performance and on our team members.

Their research has specifically examined whether colleagues communicate with you differently if you’re dating another coworker. Across three studies, they found that employees were more likely to lie to, distrust, and find peers dating their superiors less caring than peers dating other peers. Though the studies initially focused on heterosexual relationships, the researchers found similar results in a separate study examining gay and lesbian romances at work.

Our conversation highlighted some interesting (and alarming) aspects of how dating someone at work might influence your career. Here are some things you should consider before acting on a crush at work.

Vasundhara: First things first: What’s the spoiler alert?

Sean: When you consider whether you want to engage in workplace romance, you should consider two things.

First, the vast majority of relationships, including those outside of a workplace romance, fail. Though there is a chance you may marry the person you’re dating at work, the odds are not always in your favor. Think about what might happen if you break up but still work together.

Second, recognize that people will likely communicate with you differently and even view you differently. Can you live with that?

What is that difference? When your colleagues hear about your relationship, what changes? 

Our research shows that employees are more likely to treat their peers differently when they are dating their own supervisor than dating someone at their own level, regardless of sexual orientation.

Colleagues are likely to feel that peers dating other organizational members, especially those who are senior to them, may have an unfair advantage or may receive preferential treatment over those employees who do not have a romantic partner at work. They might look at your accomplishments, assignments, duties, and rewards not as a sign of your competence but an outcome of your relationship. We reasoned that the participants feared their peers would share negative information about them with their partners, especially if that partner happens to be a supervisor.

We also observed differences in perceptions of trustworthiness and caring in peer-superior vs. peer-peer relationships. Employees reported that they perceived peers who dated supervisors as less trustworthy and caring — two major components of credibility — and noted feeling less close to those peers in comparison to the ones dating another colleague. When it came to trustworthiness, these perceptions were even more pronounced for female employees involved with a superior.

The pattern is clear: Workplace romance implications are more pronounced when engaged in a peer-supervisor relationship.

So what should one do if they are dating a coworker or superior?

A few things, actually. First, learn your organization’s romance policy. In our initial study on this topic, we found that while 56.5% of participants indicated their workplace had a rule banning romantic relationships among coworkers, 22.5% were “unsure” whether such a policy existed.

Many organizations ban romantic relationships between people in reporting roles or insist on dating disclosures, so you need to know if what you’re getting into is permissible. Reach out to your supervisor or human resources to understand who you might need to talk to if you’re involved in an office relationship (or are planning to be in one).

Next, understand that your interpersonal relationships might change. Since perceptions have the potential to influence communication, think of how communication might change if you date a coworker or boss. The perception that a boss has a bias towards you or is giving you preferential treatment, for example, may lead your coworkers to ‘‘even the playing field’’ by withholding vital work-related information from you.

Our research found that employees reported being more likely to communicate deceptive or purposefully inaccurate information to those dating supervisors. This could be harmful to your job success in a workplace where accuracy of information is key and has implications on tasks, teams, and project success.

Then, think about whether you should make the relationship public. In an additional study I conducted with Professor Renee Cowan, we found that coworkers tended to react more positively when they learned of a workplace romance through a personal disclosure from the participant, compared to learning of it another way. That said, if you want to be safe, whether your company has a policy or not, it would be wise to notify HR.

Lastly, if you’re a manager dating a teammate (though this is prohibited in many organizations), think about how you’ll deal with the impression you’re making. Be clear, for example, on the grounds with which you award merit and opportunities to your partner as to avoid perceptions of unfairness. Better yet, consider having that person’s annual performance and merit evaluations conducted by another person in a leadership role. You should also consider that there is a power dynamic happening here — you have more power than someone you are managing — and people may question your credibility, bias, and decisions.

I’m sensing a LOT of caution.

In my study with Professor Cowan, we found that people primarily date at work because of perceived similarity, the amount of time spent together, the ease of opportunity, or to hook up. The reality is tougher to manage and should be managed with caution.

Beyond the judgements of your coworkers, think about whether you’ll be able to work with this person without it affecting your job if you were to break up. Though everyone should break up in a respectful manner that maintains dignity and honors what you once shared, it doesn’t always happen that way.

Given that you will see this person regularly at work and you both have a shared network, be sure to handle any break up with dignity, respect, and care. You should both be able to leave this as adults with your heads held high. If that doesn’t happen, speak with your HR to see if you can be transferred to another team and your reporting structure can be changed. In many cases, that is not a possibility depending on the opportunities available at your company. Know that you may have to think about changing your company altogether if the breakup is messy. Ultimately, then, this represents another way dating at work can impact your career.

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When exactly should you notify HR? Right away? As soon as it’s official? 

This could be tricky, too. Consider a situation where two employees go on three dates. After the first date, they notify HR. By the third, they realize it is not going anywhere. The problem here is that they already alerted HR to something being real and official, when it didn’t really exist long-term. Organizational policies actually force employees to face a relationship reality: Is this really a relationship?

The old adage jokes about making it “Facebook official,” and memories of grammar school have people sending notes to check a box of whether someone wants to be your boyfriend or girlfriend. Organizational policies, then, force those casually dating to have more serious conversations early on. Alert your HR once you have some clarity.

How to Get Over a Crush on a Friend, Co-Worker, or Someone Else Who’s Wrong for You

Collage by Vice staff | Image via Getty

When commitment feels rare and everyone’s lonely, Change of Heart is a Valentine’s Week investigation of what makes relationships so hard—and how they can be better.

It’s very likely that, at some point in your life, you’ll suddenly develop an inexplicable attraction to/longing for someone you shouldn’t. Maybe it’s your best friend’s boyfriend, or your partner’s slightly-better-dressed sibling. Perhaps it’s your direct boss, or a coworker who works excruciatingly closely with you. It could even be your therapist or a trusted teacher. Whoever they are, the most sordid, unasked-for crushes involve someone you can’t imagine avoiding or dating.

If regular crushes are supposed to give you butterflies in your stomach, the ones from unwanted crushes feel like they have lead wings. You don’t just experience the usual nerves: You might also be hit with a heavy mix of guilt, shame, confusion, or anger—all while having to pretend that everything’s completely normal because there’s NO WAY you two are making out (no matter how many dreams you’ve had about it). You know you have to urgently rid yourself of this emotional affliction—you just have no idea how (otherwise, you would have immediately).
As uniquely chaotic as it seems, this predicament isn’t weird or unusual, and there are ways to cope.

1. Be kind to yourself (but still cautious).

It can be easy to beat yourself up for “messing” up a perfectly great platonic relationship by deigning to have Feelings.

“It’s important to acknowledge that sexual and romantic attraction are normal physiological responses to attractive stimuli,” said Suzanne Degges-White, a licensed counselor and professor of counselor education at Northern Illinois University. “We don’t consciously tell our brains to generate attraction to particular people.”

You didn’t intend for this to happen—it just did, and it sucks that this crush is one that causes you distress rather than genuine excitement. That said, while you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it, Degges-White cautioned against fully following your feelings and pursuing said crush. “While it isn’t easy to avoid these instinctual reactions, it is definitely within your control to avoid acting on these reactions,” she said.

2. Instead of fantasizing about the crush, redirect your mind to all of the negative emotional consequences that could result.

“No relationship happens in a bubble—there are collateral people and relationships involved,” said Degges-White. Every time you’re tempted to flirt with someone off-limits, remind yourself of the brutal aftermath actually acting on your crush would bring. Thinking about the more realistic consequences of a bad-idea entanglement—like sending essay-length apology texts to a betrayed third party, constantly wondering whether this person was worth the sacrifice, or the complicated logistics of maintaining a secret affair—should be enough to thwart you.

3. Casually reduce your time around your crush… but don’t go so far that you end up thinking about them even more.

This is classic crush-squashing advice, but it works for a reason: Taking small steps to see or interact with a crush less often helps take your mind off of them, giving you more room to genuinely lose interest. Ways to give yourself space can extend to the internet, too, like muting your crush on social media, and actively stopping yourself from Slacking memes to them. (You could always send them to yourself instead.) If you’re naturally around your crush in person a lot (e.g., if they’re a co-worker), avoiding them can require more complicated measures, like dodging them around the office all day or skipping work happy hours.

Proceed with caution here, though: Ironically, evasion tactics can sometimes make your crush more intense. “The things that we are told are ‘forbidden’ are things that we typically want even more because of it,” said Degges-White. If you have to actively exert a ton of effort to not see or think about someone, you might inadvertently make what could be a passing attraction into a much bigger infatuation.
Degges-White said that seeing the object of your affection more often can demystify them. “Most of the time, repeated exposure to a stimulus will actually dull your attraction,” she said. “Novelty wears off and you can begin to see the faults that a crush actually has that are ‘invisible’ during the early stages of attraction.” So go ahead and stay right where you are in the cafeteria if they sit down next to you—they might violently devour their sandwich or be one of those people who hates vegetables, thus quickly ridding you of your infatuation.

4. Find a safe person you can talk to about the crush.

If you’re into your friend’s ex or just someone who isn’t your partner, talk to a therapist. If you’re into your therapist, talk to your best friend. Even if it feels like this crush could complicate your life if the wrong people knew about it, there’s probably someone you can discuss it with—and continuing to treat it like a shameful secret to take to your grave may exacerbate the issue.

“Talking about something makes it a lot easier to handle, and it can often be the fix we need,” said Degges-White. “As a counselor, I’ve had clients who really just want to find a safe ‘stranger’—they feel trapped and overwhelmed by an issue, but opening up about it can actually normalize their feelings and experiences. ”

5. Learn something new from what you’re feeling.

As diabolically inconvenient and random as this crush might seem, it can still serve a purpose: teaching you something you didn’t previously know about yourself.

“Sometimes, the people who are most attractive to us are those who have qualities we would really like to have ourselves,” Degges-White said. If you’re into your assertive yet kind employee, you might wish you were better at politely but firmly stating how you feel. If you often fall for people who are already in relationships, Degges-White said, it could mean that you’re subconsciously scared of the vulnerability required to date someone, so you gravitate toward unavailable people, giving yourself free reign to feel the highs of falling in love without risking any of the lows. (This can be a lot to unpack, which is why talking about your crush is so important!)

If nothing else, this crush can help you recognize what attraction can feel like and what other romantic partners could and should look like. Once you know that, it’s much harder to bullshit your way into—or through—a lukewarm relationship. The crush can also help you realize what’s missing in a current partnership, so you can either work on it or move on. You understand what it means to like someone so much, even when they can’t give you as much back. Imagine how incredible it’ll feel when, one day, someone can.

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21 Signs a Female Coworker Likes You: Friendly or Flirty?

I’ve had my fair share of workplace flings. 

Some of them were simple, others were complicated—but all of them have the potential to be confusing.  

With so many hours spent together with our co-workers—crushes, flings, sexual tension, and full-blown romances are bound to happen. 

It’s literally science! 

According to statistics, 22% of married couples reported first meeting one-another at work.  

In addition to this, one-third of American singles report that they’ve dated a co-worker.

Of these, 65% say that they’ve had a one-night stand with someone they worked with, and 56% have reported having at least one FWB setup with a co-worker at some point in their lives!  

Long story short—office romances happen. 

But as men, how can we tell the difference between friendliness, flirtation, and down-and-dirty sexual desire?

Here are the 21 key things to look for.  

How to Tell If a Female Coworker Likes You: 21 Positive Signs

1. She Smiles When She Notices You

If she smiles at you when she notices you, does it mean that she’s into you?

Smiling may mean friendship or professional courtesy.

But it can also indicate attraction. 

The key is to look at the context of the smile. 

Is she smiling with her eyes, and making prolonged eye contact? 

If it’s a genuine smile and she also holds your gaze for a second or two, it may be her way of saying, “I’m trying to look attractive and inviting. Notice me!” 

2. She Finds Reasons to Spend Time Around You 

Have you noticed that she’s been spending a lot of time around you recently?

J. Celeste Walley-Jean, a professor of Psychology, said this during an interview with Insider.com: 

Mere exposure to someone repeatedly increases the likelihood we will be attracted to them.

It’s no secret that we want to be closer to the people we’re attracted to. 

Women are experts at avoiding men they don’t want to spend time around. So if you find that she’s going out of her way to be around you—there’s probably something to it.  

This could be her way of saying, “I wouldn’t spend time around you if I didn’t enjoy you. Take the hint and ask me out already!” 

3. She Often Seeks Out Your Assistance

If you feel like you’re the only one she ever picks on for help-related adventures, it’s possible that there’s more at play than meets the eye. 

Getting your help with things may be her way of signaling that she needs a ‘strong man’ to assist her. This engages your ‘helper/provider’ instincts, which has the potential to increase your attraction toward her and generate a deeper connection. 

It’s called the ‘damsel in distress’ technique—and it works. 

Getting your help puts you in closer proximity to her. It’s her way of saying, “I’m attracted to you and want you to notice me. I’m literally a damsel in distress!”  

4. She Often Offers to Help You

If she offers to help you throughout the day, volunteers her time to assist you with projects, and/or otherwise interjects herself into your affairs in a helpful manner—then there’s probably a reason for it.

Men, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. 

She wouldn’t be trying to do extra work unless there was a reason behind it! 

Either she’s just plain ambitious and wants recognition—or you are the common denominator. 

This may be her way of saying, “Look, I’m helpful and I make your life better. I’m a good catch. Maybe you should make a move!” 

5. She Tries to Spend Time with You Outside of Work

Does she message you, call you, text you, and/or invite you to things outside of work?

If so, there’s a strong chance that she wants to build a deeper connection with you. 

I used to work with a beautiful woman who constantly flirted with me on the job. 

But it wasn’t until I invited her over for breakfast one morning (after night shift) that I realized what was going on. 

She was super enthusiastic about hanging out outside of work. She showed up in this sexy dress, had her makeup all done up, and sat as close to me as possible.  

It was suddenly very obvious to me that this was more than a ‘friendly’ hangout to her. 

(My then-wife wasn’t super thrilled about this, by the way—but that’s a story for another time!)

6. She Asks You About Your Friends and Family, and Also Tells You About Hers

Many studies have indicated that family characteristics factor strongly into mate selection, and for good reason. 

She may be trying to learn more about your family because she’s interested in a future with you.

Why does she talk to you about her friends and family?

In the words of one of my close female friends, there’s a simple explanation for that as well: 

It’s kind of a way for them to know more about me and who I am outside of work. Without giving away the obvious “I like you,” it’s kind of a sneak peek into my history. It opens up conversations, and potentially can peak their interest to get to know me better.

7.

She ‘Accidentally’ Touches You More Than Once 

Does she brush into you when she walks by? Do her feet or her legs rub against yours under the table during meetings? 

I once worked with a co-worker who would walk up behind me and poke me to get my attention. 

She was the only person in our department who did this, and she didn’t do it to anyone else. 

I never pursued it, because I was married and monogamous. But years later, I found out that she had a pretty hardcore crush on me at the time. 

Keep this in mind. One touch may be an accident. 

But if it happens twice or more, odds are good that she’s doing it on purpose.

Pro Tip: Women don’t just touch YOU when they’re flirting. They’ll also touch themselves—their hair, their shoulders, their necks, etc. Keep an eye out for this important cue.

8. You Catch Her Looking at You  

Does she catch your eye during crowded meetings? 

When you walk into a room, do your gazes meet? 

Women rarely stare at men they aren’t interested in.

In fact, according to one of my close female friends, there’s a specific reason for why women tend to stare at the coworker they’re crushing on. 

Of course I look at him. You want to look at the things you want/can’t have!

If you catch her looking at you more than once, it could indicate curiosity. 

Or, she’s looking at you because she’s interested. 

If she smiles and keeps the eye contact going for a second or two after you notice her, only to look away and flip her hair—there’s a strong, strong chance that there’s sexual interest at play.  

9. She Flirts with You

According to Joann Ellison Rodgers, flirting is a straightforward attraction signal that literally evolved in humans to help facilitate the survival of our DNA through sex and reproduction. 

It’s how we focus the attention of someone we are interested in—a method for giving, displaying, and attracting attention and desire. 

Does she often talk with you, joke with you, touch you, and do other things that successfully draw your attention to her—especially when the attention wasn’t professionally necessary?

This is her way of saying “Hey, I think you’re attractive and I’m trying to get your attention.” 

10. She Remembers Details That You’ve Told Her About Yourself

Does she seem to have an uncanny ability to remember work and personal details about you?

If so, it could mean that she’s paying closer attention to you than normal. 

Helen Fisher, a renowned biological anthropologist, describes why we tend to get so focused on someone when we have a crush on them:

When you have a crush on someone and are focusing on just that one person, the dopamine system in your brain has been activated. It all starts in a tiny little factory near the base of the brain. It’s way below the regions that orchestrate most thinking and emotions. It’s in the brain regions devoted to drive.

In other words—sexual interest and a crush equate to ‘hyper brain focusing power.’ 

This is her way of saying, “I notice more about you than anyone else because you’re important to me and on my mind.” 

11. She Talks About the Two of You as Being ‘Together’ 

Women get excited when they develop a crush. 

If she has a crush on you, she’s probably fantasized A LOT about being in a relationship together. 

And sometimes, this may come out in her speech. 

“We would make such a cute couple!”

“If we were together, I wouldn’t nag at you like your GF does.” 

It could be a Freudian Slip—but most of it’s likely intentional. It’s her way of saying “Hey, I’m open to making this a real thing! Make a move already!”

12.

She Makes a Determined Effort to Look Nice 

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that women try to level-up their appearance when they’re interested in attracting a man. 

This is described quite directly by David M. Buss in his book The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. 

Because men place a premium on appearance, competition among women to attract men centers heavily on enhancing their physical attractiveness along youthful and healthful lines.

If her wardrobe, makeup, and hair are suddenly on point all the time—and if this cue is accompanied by other attraction signals, this may be her way of saying, “Notice me already! I wouldn’t go to all of this trouble if I wasn’t interested.” 

13. Everyone Else Seems to Notice 

Do other coworkers mention to you that she has a crush on you?

If other people in the workplace are noticing that she’s been acting ‘friendlier than usual’ toward you, there may be some truth to it.  

This is especially true if other women notice and mention it. 

Men can fall victim to sexual overperception bias. But if other women have noticed it and mentioned it to you—well, they probably know what they are talking about! 

14. She Seems Genuinely Interested in Your Personal Life 

Does she seem especially interested in learning about your hobbies, your house, your pets, and your personal interests?

Here’s the thing—women don’t invest time, energy, or attention into men they’re not interested in. 

They’ll tune you out like static on a radio. 

If she seems legitimately interested, and seems to be willing to invest time and energy into learning about you, it’s for a reason. 

This could be her way of saying, “I’m asking about your personal life because I secretly hope that you’ll include me in it.” 

15. She Leaves You Gifts/Tries to Surprise You 

Does she grab you a coffee on her way to work? Does she leave occasional surprise muffins or donuts on your desk?

If she’s bringing you gifts, trying to surprise you, and/or thinks of you when she picks something up for herself—she’s definitely sending you a message.  

This is her way of saying, “You aren’t just on my mind at work. I think about you while I’m getting coffee, getting breakfast, and preparing for the day.” 

16. She Compliments You 

According to science, compliments are a sure-fire way to motivate others. 

So if she often compliments you at work—there may be a simple explanation for it. 

Scientifically speaking, she may be trying to motivate you to continue interacting with her. 

It’s kind of complicated—and yet, super simple all at the same time.

Pro Tip: You have to be a little bit careful with this one. Sometimes, compliments are completely platonic—so you need to pay close attention to context. 

Is she giving you any other attraction signs? If so—it’s possible that she’s into you, buckaroo! 

17. She Creates Inside Jokes with You and Keeps Them Going 

Inside jokes are actually subtle, yet effective mechanisms for bringing people together. 

Zach Brittle, a Certified Gottman Institute Therapist, said it quite eloquently: 

An artfully deployed inside joke can shift the focus away from your fixed position and toward your shared we-ness.

Creating an inside joke with you may be her way of trying to eliminate the ‘distance’ between the two of you, and replace it with more ‘togetherness.’

It’s her way of saying, “I enjoy having a shared pleasure with you that nobody else has access to.” 

18. She Shares Secrets with You 

When we share secrets, we build connection.  

In fact, according to A Conscious Rethink, increased intimacy is the fifth stage of falling in love—and involves building true comfort and new levels of closeness with your partner. 

If she’s sharing secrets with you, it’s likely a sign that she trusts you. But it’s also an indication that she wants to be closer to you, build connection, and develop trust. 

Either she thinks of you, at the very least, as a very close friend—or she has hopes that your relationship will blossom into more. 

19. She Notices When You Change Things

A 2008 scientific study has shown that two of the hallmarks of early-stage infatuation include focused attention, and obsessive thinking about a partner. 

It’s little wonder, then, that women tend to notice such small details when they have a crush. 

Did she notice that you did something new with your hair? 

Did she notice that you were wearing a new tie? There may be a simple explanation.  

Her attention is hyper focused on you because she’s got a crush. 

20. She Drops Hints, Makes Innuendos, or Teases You

According to researchers, more women than men engage in sexual teasing. 

This may sound counter-intuitive—but it’s actually true.

But teasing, innuendos, and sexual hints serve a deeper purpose than most people realize.

They serve as a step in the process of getting to know others, especially potential romantic/sexual partners. 

When she makes sexual jokes at you, it’s not by accident. This is her way of saying, “Hey, I’m thinking about this! Be a man and do something about it already!” 

21.

She Dislikes it When You Talk to Other Women 

Despite what you may think, women compete just as often as men for sexual access to their ideal mates. 

But nowhere is this notion captured more eloquently than in the book Why Women Have Sex, by Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss. 

In our evolutionary past, women who prevailed over other women by gaining sexual access to the most desirable men could gain access to a variety of reproductive benefits—access to better genes, an increased likelihood of producing successful sons and daughters, access to superior resources, and a boost in social status.

Does she get salty or withdraw when she notices you talking to the new receptionist?

It’s basically her way of saying, “Why are you talking to that dumb b**** when you could be talking to me?” 

Conclusion

Did you enjoy our list?

Keep your eye out for these 21 signs to avoid missing out on your next potential dating adventure, and to help you avoid embarrassing yourself with a mixed signal.  

Want more tips, tricks, and advice to level-up as a man and make your life awesome?

Subscribe to our YouTube channel. 

Go with grace, fine gentlemen—and never give up your power.

Think Your Male Co-Worker Likes You? Watch Out For These Signs!

The office is always brimming with activity and energy, making it a good place to find someone interesting. It is not unusual to feel attracted to someone at the workplace, given the time you spend there. However, workplace relationships are far more complicated than your usual relationships. That’s why it’s important to tread more cautiously. Have you been wondering if a male colleague is attracted to you? Do you feel that a male coworker likes you? Are you here because you want to know what signs indicate a male coworker is into you?

Well, if a male coworker likes you, it might get confusing for you because most colleagues are helpful toward each other and many strong friendships blossom in workplaces. If you feel a male colleague is giving you more attention than usual, he might be interested in you.

Maybe you have similar feelings as well. It might be that you want to know whether you are interpreting his behavior correctly before actually concluding that your male colleague likes you. In any case, a wrong move can affect not only your relationship or friendship with him but also your professional life. That’s why, after reading this article you will be able to make an informed decision.

15 Signs Your Male Coworker Likes You

Usually, the signs of a guy liking you are quite similar to the signs of a male coworker liking you, but he may not be as upfront in approaching you for the fear of sabotaging his professional life. Put yourself in his shoes for a second, he wants to be as professional and respectful as possible, so it’s possible he’s shy about letting you know he likes you. This is exactly why noticing the signs your coworker has feelings for you is important.

You could be a colleague or you could be in a different position in the hierarchy. Nevertheless, unless you are sure that he likes you, you should not infer anything. If you’re thinking “does my male coworker like me?” because he handed you over that file a little too nicely, you might just be lost in your own head.

Professional relationships can turn sour and ugly if you wrongly interpret a man’s friendly behavior and equate them with flirting. At times, your or his job can also be on the line as a result of any such premature moves. Before making a move, you need to be sure if you are correctly interpreting the signs a man is attracted to you at work, and if you are willing to take things forward with him and even get into a workplace romance.

Read these 15 signs carefully in your male coworker to find out if he likes you. If he is into you, these signs will spill the beans. If not, however, at least you’ll know it’s time to re-download that dating app.

Related Reading:  15 Signs A Commitment-Phobe Loves You

1.

He cannot take his eyes off you

Body language at the workplace communicates intentions very efficiently. You will have to observe him for a couple of days, but you’ll come out with a fair idea of just what he might think of you.

Do you see him constantly looking at you? Maybe from across the hall or during meetings? When you both are working together, he doesn’t lose a chance to look at you from the corner of his eyes. If your male colleague’s eyes are always finding you, then this is the first sign and a quite clear one to know he may be attracted or interested in you.

If you feel the same way about him too, consider upping your dressing game a little to leave a more lasting impact on him. But keep it subtle. You don’t want to walk into the office with a complete makeover. That’d be a dead giveaway. Instead, make small but noticeable changes. Order a few new lips colors that accentuate your lips and make them seem irresistible.

2. He will find ways to bump into you or work with you

Wherever you go, he will be around.

Wherever you go in the office, you’ll find him around. Initially, it might be a coincidence and he would be glad to put it that way. But gradually, you’ll know when he finds excuses to work with you on the same projects or keeps bumping into you, whether it is the cafeteria or even when you are around some other colleagues. A dead giveaway will be if he tries becoming friends with the closest of your office pals.

If he is there to give you company for lunch and coffee, even if you have changed your usual times, it is clear this guy likes you at work. If you notice this often, we have a smart trick for you. Get yourself a premium perfume that is different from your signature fragrance. That way, you can stir him up just by walking past him, leaving a lingering trail of irresistibility behind.

A man who is already fawning over you will go over the tipping point with this slight change. And will know that you are egging him on to act on his feelings. If he has been holding himself back owing to a lack of clarity about how you feel, this will crack open a window of possibilities.

3. This male colleague is always eager to help you

So you have a very helpful colleague, who makes your tasks easier to complete. He is always there to help you. Not only help, but he will guide you or let you know some well-guarded secrets of the job or office. In fact, he might even discourage you from asking other colleagues for help. This ought to be your hint because selfless people are rarely to be found. Romancing your cubicle buddy isn’t hard when you coat it with helpful surprises.

Although do keep in mind that he might just be someone who’s helpful in general. If so, it doesn’t necessarily mean your coworker has a crush on you. The answer to how to tell if a guy likes you at work can’t really be found in the smileys and the “always happy to help” he ends his work emails with, you’ve got to look a little deeper than that.

If he’s going out of his way to help you, that’s when you know there’s something here. A simple text or an email or a 5-minute favor isn’t really one of the best signs a male coworker is attracted to you. But if he’s staying late with you to help you out with a project that will benefit him in no way, you should know he’s going to think about you on the drive back home as well.

4. Signs your coworker has feelings for you: He notices every detail

He may not have a strong memory, but he remembers everything you said or things you do. Maybe one day you wore a dress of his favorite color and he mentioned that in a conversation sometime later. They might not be big things, but very small details like the footwear you are wearing or a bracelet you usually wear but forgot someday and he asks about it.

Not sure if he is actually paying attention to you or are you cooking it up in your head because you have feelings for him? Well, try to mix things up a little about the way you dress. If you typically wear pants to work, order a few pencil skirts. Or replace your striped shirts with fancier silk ones. If he notices it instantly, you know your assessment has been on point. He does pay a lot of attention to you.

Think about it, he’s a little too attentive for just a colleague, right? This is definitely among the signs that your male colleague is attracted to you. One of our readers, who is now married to her coworker, said that during their courting period he remembered small details about her like the fact that she only drinks black coffee and needs a minimum of five pens and a highlighter at her desk to get work done.

Related Reading: Breached Lines, Broken Hearts: An Office Romance

5. He’s always trying to talk about things outside of work

He will find out the topics you like to talk about and he will come around to start discussions on them. Talking only about work may not give him enough time to be around you, especially if you do not work next to each other. So initiating these discussions is his way of getting to know you better and spend more time with you.

It could be about any social issues, a sale nearby, best restaurants or whatever interests you. He wants to know more about you as a person, not just a coworker. Sometimes he might even do the opposite, start discussions about things you don’t like because you cannot resist those topics and you’ll jump into the discussions.

Imagine one day you tell him you’re into books, the next day he comes to work with a novel of your favorite author in his hand, making sure you can see the book on his desk. The efforts he makes to get you to talk says a lot about how much your male coworker likes you.

6. He pampers you and treats you better than anyone else

He seems to be well-acquainted with other coworkers as well, but you do not see him putting effort into pleasing them. But when it comes to you, the game changes. He will bring chocolates or pastries for you and say I was just passing by so thought of getting these for you.

He may sometimes even get coffee for you. Or if you are swamped with work, he’ll come around and remind you of the breaks you need to take. He’ll want you to spend time with him during breaks as well. Yes, honey, your male colleague is definitely into you.

On the other hand, it can be just as embarrassing if you think that the coffee he got you was one of the biggest signs a male coworker is attracted to you, but then you see him getting coffees for everyone because that’s just the kind of person he is. So before you sit on your high horse thinking “does my male coworker like me?” just because he got you a coffee, notice how he treats other people.

7. He compliments you for all the little and big things

“You look great today, this color looks wonderful on you.” “I noticed you’re wearing your hair differently, it’s nice.” “Are you donning a new perfume? Smells great.” These aren’t things an uninterested coworker will notice and compliment you on, so keep an eye out for the kind of compliments he gives you.

If he notices the difference in your hair or the earrings you wear to work, there isn’t even a debate about whether it’s one of the signs a male coworker has a crush on you or not. Unless he’s into the makeup industry and wants to become a hairstylist, chances are, he’s taking note of how you like to dress since he can’t get his eyes off you.

This is a very obvious sign. If a guy is complimenting you often, he clearly is interested in you. Say you are having lunch with a bunch of your other colleagues, yet this slips his mind and unconsciously he isn’t even hesitant about complimenting you. He might even appreciate you doing well at office tasks. This just shows how much this male coworker likes you.

8. He wants to go out with you after office

You have a bond that extends beyond the office as well. That’s not unusual. After all, our colleagues gradually become our friends. But whenever he asks you for plans after office, he wants it to be only the two of you. It is never a bunch of friends. He will always want a movie, a coffee or dinner just with you rather than a group of people around you. You guys text a lot, you have phone conversations after office where he explicitly mentions “no shop talk”.

Slyly dropping it into a conversion, he might say “There’s this great new coffee shop that opened nearby, wants to go and check it out with me?” What’s important here is the implication that he wants it to be just the two of you. That is how to tell if a guy likes you at work or not.

The fact that he initiates most of it clearly shows that he wants to have a bond outside the office and a bond more than work colleagues.

9. He flirts a lot

Flirting is another obvious sign and like all the girls you can read this very efficiently. He will tease you about small things, irritate you, and then will find cute ways to make it up to you. He will crack a lot of jokes to make you laugh, sometimes he will pass cheesy compliments also to make you smile.

If you’re still asking yourself “does my male coworker like me?” when he calls the way you laugh cute, you might just be ignoring all the signs your coworker has feelings for you. Yes, the constant compliments and the giggles and smiles he gives you can count as flirting, so don’t turn a blind eye to this.

If it’s only you who he flirts with, then his intentions are clear. He is interested in you, no matter if he met you at the workplace. It’s an absolutely clear sign your make coworker has a crush on you.

Related Reading: Here’s how to deal with office romance

10. He admires you as a person

He will often mention what traits of your personality he likes, and he will say things like – he has never seen a girl like you. Maybe he admires your intelligence, firmness, or many other things. He’ll talk about how sometimes you have inspired him to do well.

If you’re his superior at work, however, he might just be after a raise. Make sure it’s clear from his actions that he’s not complimenting you to get some gain out of you, and that he genuinely means it. A compliment before he eventually says “So, can you cover for me this weekend?” isn’t really a compliment.

11. He is protective towards you

You are in a meeting and you put up your ideas, but they get rejected by the masses and even when he knows that idea is not good enough, he will support it during discussions. He defends you or supports your view in public in meetings or at discussions.

Or he will try to help you and guide you if he feels you are wavering off-topic during a meeting. You will always find him around to save you because he is attracted to you and likes you immensely.

12. He gets terrified if you talk of switching your job

After a bad day at work, you obviously don’t feel great. He will sympathize and console you if you didn’t have a good day at work. He’ll stick around to make you feel good or motivate you. He’ll freak out if you think of quitting your current job and finding another.

If you find him coaxing you to stay put in your current job and not switch, it is one of the most common signs a man is attracted to you at work.

Related Reading: 12 ways office affairs can spell trouble for you

13. He wants to know about your personal life

He is curious about your personal life more than your professional life. He will find excuses to bring up your personal life more often. He wants to know what your relationship status is or if you are interested in someone outside of work.

Soon he will know all about your family, friends and other details of your personal life. “So what do you like to do for fun?” followed by a 2-hour long conversation solely about you isn’t something guys do with anyone they’re not interested in. If he’s putting in the effort in getting to know who you are outside of work, it’s one of the biggest signs your coworker has feelings for you.

14. You talking about other guys will annoy him

Whenever you talk about your crushes with him, it freaks him out. He gets jealous; either he avoids the topic or whenever such topics start, he excuses himself from the conversation. Because he does not want to imagine you with someone else. This particular male colleague of yours would not like you to have friendly conversations with other men in the office too. So how do you tell if a male coworker likes you? Well, if he frowns when another man approaches your desk, even though it’s for work, he surely likes you.

15. You’ll see his friends teasing him when around you

Whenever you are near him, you will find his friends pulling his leg or teasing him indirectly. Such jokes are very common and even though people think that they are teasing them in an indirect manner and girls might not understand, but if you are smart enough to understand you’ll know they are teasing him and it’s about you.

After reading these signs about your coworker, you need to take a call. There are some dos and don’ts of dating a work colleague, make sure you take care of those. Maybe you are glad that this male colleague likes you because he even tempts you. It could well be the other way around as well: you are not happy about the fact that your male coworker is interested in you because you never had any interest in him or you are already taken.

Whatever you choose, do it judiciously. Relationships in the workspace don’t affect your mind alone; they affect your professional relationship and image both. If the conclusion is affirmative, then you need to figure out your next move. Do you want to avoid him or do you want to encourage him to initiate the confession?

But the best answer to both questions is to have a talk with him. If you realize it and you are sure about it, having a talk can save both time and energy you would invest in waiting for the confession from the other end.

Why does he hide our relationship from our colleagues and friends?

How To Tell If Your Guy Is Falling In Love With You

Lost Virginity At The Age Of 15 And Much More…Shocking Sex Confessions Of Bollywood Celebs!

How to Handle a Coworker Crush Like an Adult

If there’s one rule we all know, it’s that the worst thing you can do is have a crush on a coworker – and a fling. But that’s easier said than done.

Having a crush on a coworker is one of the biggest no-nos in a workplace. But, how could you not develop a crush on somebody you work with? You see them literally more often than you see your family or partner.

So, having a crush on a coworker isn’t anything to be ashamed of. I’ve had a number of jobs, and most of them had me falling for some guy. Which is normal, I mean, first, the job sucked so I needed to have something to motivate me to get out of bed for it.

And second, having a crush on a coworker added some pathetic drama to my life which was the only thing stimulating me at the time.

How to deal with having a crush on a coworker

The important thing is how you’re going to act on it. Are you going to try to make a move on them? Or are you going to keep this your dirty little secret? [Read: Workplace romance? 15 ways to tell if your coworker likes you back]

It’s exciting to pursue an office romance, or just enjoy the little crush while it lasts. But more often than not, office crushes bring with it the unwanted side-effects of office gossip, low work productivity and worst of all, an unbearable working atmosphere if things don’t end well.

So if this crush of yours is something that you want to get over then you’re going to have learn how to get over them. Because you’re over this drama. So, here’s how to get over your crush on a coworker. [Bustle.com: How to know if you have a real crush on a workplace colleague]

#1 Figure out why you have a crush on them. You need to figure out why you like them. It could be that you’re just bored of your life right now and find this to be the thing that spices it up. I don’t know what the reason is, but I know that you do. You just now have to be honest with yourself – that is, if you actually want to get over your crush.

#2 Stop talking about it with coworkers. Listen, if I know anything, it’s that gossip spreads like wildfire around the office. So, if you’re talking to some people about your crush on a coworker, you can bet your life that people are going to find out about it.

I mean, work is boring, so this is some entertainment for everyone to sit and watch while they’re counting the hours until they can go home. But this also means that there’s a higher chance of your boss finding out as well. [Read: 9 quick ways to find out if your crush isn’t into you]

#3 Cut back on spending time with them outside of work. Hanging out with your coworkers is fine, but if you’re spending all your free time with them, then maybe it’s time you branched out and hung out with some other people, you know, people who aren’t your crush.

You want to eliminate the extra time that you spend with them and keep it to a minimum. You should only see them when you actually have a valid work-related reason to see them. At least until you move on from them.

#4 Look at your own relationship with your partner *if you have one*. Is there something in your own personal relationship, that is, if you’re with someone already, that’s making you have a wandering eye? The first thing you should be doing is looking at that.

Maybe you have some issues within your relationship that you need to pay attention to. Now, if you’re just bored at work and need some entertainment, and you’re single, well, that’s different. [Read: How to handle an office crush while you’re in a relationship]

#5 Focus your attention on hobbies outside of work. When you leave work, there’ll be some times when all you’re going to do is think about them. What they said to you that day, what they wore, who they spoke to – you know, stupid shit that we all waste our time on.

But if your evenings are packed with activities, then you don’t really give yourself an opportunity to sit and dwell on this drama that you created in your head.

#6 Distract yourself. If you’re at work, well, you should be focusing on your work instead of obsessing over them from across the room. I know you probably don’t want to work more than you already are, but by keeping yourself busy at work, you have less time to think or talk to them.

Keep your mind busy with other things. If you don’t want to work, surf the web, but stay away from their social media. [Read: Love or career – How to make the right choice?]

#7 Set personal boundaries at work. If you see this person every day, getting over them is going to be hard. What you need to do is set yourself personal boundaries.

If you usually eat lunch with them, stop. If you spend your coffee breaks chatting with them, maybe find someone else to talk to. You basically need to wean yourself off of that person – having a crush is an addiction, so, consider this your rehab.

#8 Talk to your friends about it. Preferably friends outside of the workplace. I mean, it’s okay to talk to someone from work, but if word spreads, then you may get yourself into trouble before anything even started.

Your friends will give you the best outsider opinion about what’s going on with you and your crush. From there, you can figure out what you should do – to pursue or to walk away. [Read: 15 guaranteed ways to get your crush to like you back in no time]

#9 Know the consequences. If you’re debating about whether or not you should make a move on your crush, you have to look at what you’re risking. At the same time, I know many people who found their life partners in the workplace.

What you need to do is evaluate if this is going to be a real thing or just a one-night stand type of deal. Because if you’re going to be putting your job on the line, it better be worth something.

#10 Give yourself some time. It’s a crush, so, trust me, I know how long it takes to get over them. It took me literally six years to get over my high school crush. I mean, I wasn’t obsessively thinking about him, but I was never really over him.

That was until I saw how much of a dick he was. But the point is, this isn’t going to be an overnight transition. It may take you months or even years to fully get over this person. Since you work with them, it’s going to be hard.

[Read: What you really need to do when you like a friend or a coworker – The complete guide]

Now that you know what you need to do to cleanse yourself from your crush on a coworker, do it! Sure, it’s not easy, but you’ll just feel better without this haunting you at work.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Signs Your Co-worker Has a Crush On You

1. He always happens to take his lunch break at the same time as you. So convenient, right? Whether it’s striking up a conversation with you on line in the work cafeteria or offering you a ride to go grab burritos, if he’s taking these opportunities to capitalize on socializing time at work, there’s a reason.

2. He also happens to show up to work around the same time. Maybe he even runs into you down at the coffee shop you always stop at before work. If it seems like he just sorta knows your schedule and happens to time his morning routine right as an excuse to see you, that’s a good indicator.

3. He always finds reasons to walk over to where you sit, even if it’s not his department. Is he always hand-delivering documents? Unless your work crush is 60 and afraid of emails, that’s weird. 

4. He grabs you lunch a lot when you’re too busy. This is something nice people do, but it’s also something people who want to bang do. To be fair, it’s also totally something nice people who also want to bang you do too.

5. His shifts mysteriously seem to align with yours. You rescheduled your Sunday shift to Monday? So weird, he was just emailing your manager to request the same thing…

6. He always wants to know if you’re going to work functions. He plays it off all casual as if he isn’t sure he’s going to go, but he never commits unless he knows you’ll be there. “Maybe we could go together?” he asks, with all this chill. But in his head, he’s freaking out.

7. Or he’s always trying to organize drinks after work. He’s too nervous to just ask you out, so instead he asks a lot of people and also you. Because that’s less weird, I guess.

8. He swoops in whenever you’re stuck dealing with an annoying customer. “Why yes, ma’am, I can make you a triple-shot, double-foam, gluten-free, vegan Frappuccino with half a teaspoon of cinnamon and room for milk, no problem.”

9. He’s always finding reasons to email you about work-related projects. And then those email chains just devolve into non-work-related funny GIFS.

10. He’s told you he’d quit too if you ever left. You’re actually pretty sure he only hangs around because you’re there. He seems to hate this job otherwise.

11. You’ve got your own secret code words for people in the office. Hell, you’ve got your own language and inside jokes.

12. You’re the only one he really vents to. Your relationship definitely feels deeper than “just coworkers.”

13. He covers for you if you’re running late. If he’s distracted your boss while you snuck over to your desk hungover and late on a Friday morning, you’ve found a keeper.

14. You showing up to work perks him up more than the coffee does. And so does you getting him coffee. Y’all are coffee buds. Some people would consider that basically sleeping with each other.

Follow Frank on Twitter.

Cosmo Frank
I am a human male that enjoys consuming meals consisting of all five food groups and fulfilling every level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

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I Love My Fiancé, but Am Totally Crushing on a Co-Worker

The “Dear Sugars” podcast is an advice program hosted by Steve Almond and Cheryl Strayed. The audio contains more letters; submissions are welcome at [email protected]. If you’re reading this on desktop, click the play button below to listen. Mobile readers can find “Dear Sugars” on the Podcasts app (iPhone and iPad) or Radio Public (Android and tablet).

Dear Sugars,

I am a 26-year-old woman and recently engaged. I struggle with anxiety and so I figure being anxious about my engagement is to be expected, right? My fiancé and I met at work. I’m a server at a restaurant, and he was the manager (he’s since moved on to another job). We kept our relationship a secret at first. It was romantic, thrilling, passionate and hot. We’d stay up all night drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes. Once we became a couple, we started prioritizing our goals. We eventually moved in together, and our life now revolves around saving money for a house and future family. I’m still in love with him, but there’s definitely less sex. Though I couldn’t bear to be without him, I also feel more platonic for him than I used to. Is that normal?

A new guy was hired at the restaurant recently, and I’m attracted to him and we flirt. He’s the bad-boy type. He asked me to get a drink and I declined, but I told him I had a crush on him. He seemed shocked and thanked me for telling him. Now I’m embarrassed. If I pursued him and my fiancé found out, I’d deeply regret it. I fear I’m going to sabotage my relationship. I’ve realized this co-worker is a symbol of the lust and passion I don’t have anymore. I know I have to move forward, but I miss the past. I’m scared of starting this part of my adult life.

Anxious Fiancée

Steve Almond: You can do the math here, Anxious. Of course it was hot when you were just boozing and schmoozing with the manager at work, when the sex was something forbidden (or at least covert). There was nothing enduring at risk, so it was safely partitioned from your anxiety. Now that hot lover is your potential life partner. You’re talking mortgage rates and babies. Of course you’re yearning for the days when the sex was a one-way ticket to bliss, not the avenue to adulthood. The question for you to confront is whether this crush reflects what I’ll call “manageable ambivalence” or deeper misgivings about your engagement. It’s best to be honest with yourself — and your partner — in either case.

Cheryl Strayed: Steve’s right that so much of answering this question has to do with figuring out how strongly you feel the sense of loss you describe, Anxious. I don’t know one person in a long-term monogamy who isn’t nostalgic for the nights of whiskey and cigarettes, but most are O.K. with the fact that they’re gone. That you’re so tortured about it gives me pause. You write that you don’t have lust and passion in your life anymore and if that’s true, I’d say you should let your doubts and anxieties be your guide. Sometimes you want the hot guy at work because it turns out the hot guy at home isn’t for you. (This is especially true when you’re 26.) Sometimes you want the hot guy at work because the hot guy at home has become more complicated and the deepening aspects of your maturing love scare you.

You ask if it’s normal to feel platonic love for your fiancé and the answer is yes, but not if it has entirely replaced romantic love. Has it? Or is it that the companionate love you have for your fiancé runs alongside your romantic love for him and that feels new and uncomfortable to you? In most long relationships, the two kinds of love coexist. Finding a balance between them is among monogamy’s greatest challenges.

SA: The psychotherapist and researcher Esther Perel refers to this as the “love/lust split”: As we become more stable and secure in a relationship, we lose a sense of novelty and adventure that fuels the erotic imagination. Your infatuation with the new Mr. Dangerous is, as you seem to recognize, an attempt to recapture that magic. (Check out Ms. Perel’s excellent book “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence” for a deeper discussion of the hows and whys.) All that being said, you still have to figure out whether you’re ready, at 26, for the long, good promise of monogamy. The toughest aspect of honoring that promise, by the way, isn’t the diminishing of lust. It’s the requirement that you be truthful. I know this crush is causing all kinds of drama for you. But it might be more helpful to see it as a necessary confusion, one that will force you to clarify your feelings about the commitment you’re considering.

CS: I was divorced at 25 because I hadn’t listened to my doubts before I got married. I’d become engaged for the same reason you cite, Anxious: because I couldn’t bear to be without the man I loved. But I wasn’t ready to be with him either — not in the way that marriage demands, anyway. I wasn’t done with whiskey and cigarettes! The deepest part of me knew that and instead of taking heed, I pushed that knowledge down, which soon led to misery.

SA: Cheryl is not saying you should break off your engagement! What she’s saying is that it’s a good thing you’re wrestling with this decision. Another good thing is that you haven’t cheated on your fiancé. Instead, you’re acknowledging your doubts. As a rule, humans don’t like to do that, because doubt causes us to feel, well, anxious. But doubt, if we have the courage to interrogate it, can be an unexpected ally.

CS: Steve and I don’t know whether you should marry your fiancé, but you do. You want to do two things, but you only get to do one. If you’re honest with yourself, you know what you want to do more. Let yourself do it, no matter what it is, even if it requires you to break your own heart — whether that be relinquishing the man you love or saying goodbye to the thrilling times of your early 20s. We have the strength to let go of even the things we treasure. Other treasures eventually replace them.

90,000 A crush on the subway and an offended cat: how a Pervomaika resident got to the office on a non-working Monday

Not all Novosibirsk residents met the beginning of the non-working week in a warm bed in an embrace with a cat – many had to slide on the first snow to work. The correspondent of “MK in Novosibirsk” also went to the office on Monday and assessed the difference between the road on a regular and a non-working day of the covid week.

The way to work was not close – from the KSM microdistrict to the Gagarinskaya metro station.It was necessary to get there, as usual, with several transfers.

The cat was the first to get upset on work Monday. Sleeping next to the hostess in the snow, rain and frost is her favorite hobby, but this time it did not work out. She followed her to work with an offended look.

I left the house early, with the expectation that there is a lot of ice on the street and most likely there will be a hell of a traffic jam at the crossing on Matveyevka, from where the train goes.

It was necessary to get to the move by minibus and there was not much difference between the number of people on working and non-working Monday.All the same, packed and all the way I had to look at the boots of passengers, standing on the steps of a clogged minibus.

But at the crossing there was a pleasant surprise – there was no traffic jam on Matveyevka at all. None of the two rows – this, even on Saturday and Sunday, almost never happened before.

The train was also quite spacious – if you wanted, you could even lie down on the bench – there were several empty seats in the carriage, although usually at this time everything is jam-packed and you have to go while standing under the continuous sniffing right under your ear from an unfamiliar neighbor without a mask.

By the way, all the morning train runs on weekdays were still there, the train didn’t have to wait long.

The transfer from the train to the metro was much faster and more convenient than before – there was no crush at the turnstiles.

I already decided that I would finish my sleep on the subway. But it was not there. I literally got into the car by storm and had to go, leaning right on the sign that one should not lean against the door.And if earlier it became much freer in the carriages at the Lenin Square station, today it was necessary to go with our nose buried in someone’s coat as far as “Gagarinskaya”.

The crush in the metro could be explained simply – trains during the non-working week began to run according to the non-working day’s schedule – with an interval of 1 time in 7 minutes, and not 3, as it was before. Apparently, the number of people has not decreased by half.

But most of all, as it turned out in the office, the colleagues who commute to work by private transport were unlucky today – many were late due to traffic jams and ice.

Let us remind you that the non-working week will last in Novosibirsk until November 7.

90,000 American journalists staged a crush at the meeting between Putin and Biden

https://ria.ru/20210616/davka-1737238499.html

American journalists staged a crush at the meeting between Putin and Biden

American journalists staged a crush at the meeting between Putin and Biden – RIA Novosti, 16.06.2021

American journalists staged a crush at the meeting between Putin and Biden

American journalists staged a crush at the entrance to the negotiating hall, where the meeting between Russian and US Presidents Vladimir Putin and Joe Biden began.RIA Novosti, 16.06.2021

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Putin and Biden summit

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Vladimir Putin

Joe biden

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GENEVA, June 16 – RIA Novosti.American journalists staged a stampede at the entrance to the negotiating room, where the meeting between the presidents of Russia and the United States, Vladimir Putin and Joe Biden, began. As TV journalist Pavel Zarubin told RIA Novosti, only a few correspondents were able to get inside. “I saw only that the presidents were already sitting, the journalists all the time very slowly they tried to break through there, and at some point it all turned into the fact that the presidents were sitting and just watching the journalists enter it. We must, of course, honestly say that such chaos was caused by American journalists and the American side, they all time tried to introduce more operators and more correspondents, this all led to what it led to, “- said the interlocutor of the agency.The stampede at the entrance lasted more than a quarter of an hour. It is planned that the negotiations will consist of three parts: in a narrow format and two extended. A source familiar with the preparations for the meeting told RIA Novosti the day before that it would take four hours and 45 minutes. A joint press conference is not expected, the presidents will speak to journalists separately after the talks.

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A crush among journalists at the entrance to Villa La Grange

Crush, confusion and even a bit of a fight: The Americans have arranged a colossal dump at the entrance to the villa.

2021-06-16T15: 10

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in the world, vladimir putin, joe biden

15:10 06/16/2021 (updated: 17:02 06/16/2021)

American journalists staged a crush at the meeting between Putin and Biden

GENEVA, June 16 – RIA Novosti. American journalists stampeded at the entrance to the negotiating hall, where the meeting between the Presidents of Russia and the United States, Vladimir Putin and Joe Biden, began.

As TV journalist Pavel Zarubin told RIA Novosti, only a few correspondents were able to get inside.

“I only saw that the presidents were already sitting, the journalists were trying very slowly to break through, and at some point all this turned into the fact that the presidents were sitting and just watching the journalists enter there. Of course, we must be honest. to say that such chaos was caused by American journalists and the American side, they all the time tried to bring in more operators and more correspondents, this all led to what it led to, “- said the agency’s interlocutor.

The crush at the entrance lasted more than a quarter of an hour.

It is planned that the negotiations will consist of three parts: in a narrow format and two extended ones. A source familiar with the preparations for the meeting told RIA Novosti the day before that it would take four hours and 45 minutes.

No joint press conference is expected, the presidents will speak to journalists separately after the talks.

The meeting between Putin and Biden in Geneva

1 of 11

The current Russian-American summit is the first since 2018.

© REUTERS / Kevin Lamarque

The meeting between Putin and Biden was organized at the picturesque Villa La Grange in Geneva. It is believed to create a good negotiating environment.

2 of 11

The meeting between Putin and Biden was organized at the picturesque Villa La Grange in Geneva. It is believed to create a good negotiating environment.

3 of 11

Putin and Biden shook hands as they took pictures on the porch of the villa. The US President extended his hand to his Russian counterpart.

© AP Photo / Alexander Zemlianichenko, Pool

After that, the leaders retired to the building for negotiations, inside Putin and Biden shook hands again.

4 of 11

After that, the leaders retired to the building for negotiations, inside Putin and Biden shook hands again.

© AFP 2021 / DENIS BALIBOUSE, POOL

The President of Russia thanked his American counterpart for the initiative to hold the meeting.

5 of 11

The President of Russia thanked his American counterpart for the initiative to hold the meeting.

© REUTERS / Saul Loeb / Pool

Joe Biden replied to Vladimir Putin that meeting face to face is useful.

6 of 11

Joe Biden replied to Vladimir Putin that meeting face to face is useful.

7 of 11

Negotiations are taking place in the library. On the table between the presidents there is a bouquet in neutral white and green tones.

8 of 11

Putin noted that many questions had accumulated in Russian-American relations and expressed hope for a productive meeting.

9 of 11

The negotiations consisted of several parts – in a narrow and extended format – and lasted 4.5 hours.

10 of 11

Putin arrived for negotiations with Biden in an Aurus car.

© AP Photo / Michael Probst

The American leader arrived in a Cadillac.

11 of 11

The American leader arrives in a Cadillac.

1 of 11

The current Russian-American summit is the first since 2018.

2 of 11

The meeting between Putin and Biden was organized at the picturesque Villa La Grange in Geneva.It is believed to create a good negotiating environment.

3 of 11

Putin and Biden shook hands as they took pictures on the porch of the villa. The US President extended his hand to his Russian counterpart.

4 of 11

After that, the leaders retired to the building for negotiations, inside Putin and Biden shook hands again.

5 of 11

The President of Russia thanked his American counterpart for the initiative to hold the meeting.

6 of 11

Joe Biden replied to Vladimir Putin that meeting face to face is useful.

7 of 11

Negotiations are taking place in the library. On the table between the presidents there is a bouquet in neutral white and green tones.

8 of 11

Putin noted that many questions had accumulated in Russian-American relations and expressed hope for a productive meeting.

9 of 11

The negotiations consisted of several parts – in a narrow and extended format – and lasted 4.5 hours.

10 of 11

Putin arrived for negotiations with Biden in an Aurus car.

11 of 11

The American leader arrives in a Cadillac.

Punishment by fire order | Articles

There are 113 hostels in the region. Since the beginning of the year, employees of the Ministry of Emergency Situations have checked 35. The condition of many was recognized as unsatisfactory. As a result, more than 40 responsible persons were punished with a fine or brought to administrative responsibility.

An Izvestia correspondent went to one of these checks together with the EMERCOM employees. Dormitory No. 5, owned by the Medical Academy, is known for the fact that in November last year there was a fire there, caused by “improper use of electrical appliances.”To put it simply, the curtain was drafted over the heater … The only sad thing is that at that time the human factor let down – the watchman grandmother, instead of immediately calling the firemen, simply turned off the alarm that was inappropriately beeping on the remote control.

Since then, a lot has changed in the hostel: the electrical wiring has been updated, there are no more guard grandmothers. The order at the entrance is monitored by a strict security guard in black, and on the walls there are manual fire alarm buttons (which serve as the subject of student wit – where without that).The new sensors respond well to smoke and temperature. What, by the way, we were able to see when we asked a smoking colleague to raise a light on them.

The fire-resistant door separating the electrical control room from the rest of the basement became a special source of pride. It was demonstrated to the audience by fire safety engineer Vladimir Zhukov. And everything would have been fine if it had not been for the door (which is an emergency exit) leading from this basement to the street – it turned out to be locked. The key from her seems to be not far away – on watch, but still a mess.Which, of course, did not escape the attention of Alexei Ropotov, the chief state inspector of the Leninsky district for fire supervision.

– If the escape exit is closed with a key, then in the event of a fire during the search for this key, panic and crush will have time to arise! – he told reporters following the inspection. – So what now – to keep the door to the street unlocked? – I asked.

– No, – came the answer. – This door must have an electromagnetic lock that automatically opens in case of fire.

Although, in my unprofessional opinion, these violations were not worth attention, but after checking the firefighters issued an order, according to which the management of the institution is obliged to eliminate all violations within a month. Otherwise, the owners of the hostel face a decent fine. And in the near future, absolutely all hostels will be checked in the Yaroslavl region – students, workers and families.

Detainees are taking place at a protest rally in Moscow

In Moscow, law enforcement officers began to detain participants in a protest rally on Pushkin Square in support of the founder of the Anti-Corruption Foundation (FBK; included by the Ministry of Justice in the register of non-profit foreign agents) Alexei Navalny, RIA Novosti reports …

Security forces detain mainly citizens with placards, as well as participants who completely covered their faces with balaclavas and hoods. According to the agency, the police are distributing masks to the protesters, and also remind through the loudspeaker about the inconsistency of the action and the need to comply with sanitary measures. According to Interfax, most of the detainees are young people.

A TASS correspondent reported that the protesters tried to rip off the bulletproof vest from the police officer, another colleague was pushed into the crowd and the video recorder was ripped off him.A stampede periodically begins on Pushkinskaya.

The Moscow Department of Transport said that the protesters had blocked the exits from the Pushkinskaya and Tverskaya metro stations, and were deliberately blocking traffic. According to the estimates of the Moscow Main Directorate of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, about 4,000 people are taking part in the action.

On the eve of the IC opened a criminal case on the facts of appeals in social networks to minors to participate in unauthorized actions on January 23 in support of the founder of the Anti-Corruption Fund (FBK; included by the Ministry of Justice in the register of non-profit foreign agents) Alexei Navalny.The case was initiated under nn. “A, c” part 2 of Art. 151.2 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (involvement of minors in the commission of unlawful acts, knowingly posing a danger to the life of minors).

Navalny has been under arrest in the Matrosskaya Tishina pre-trial detention center since January 19. On January 17, he was detained at the Sheremetyevo airport upon arrival from Germany. On January 18, at a visiting session of the Khimki city court, he was arrested until February 15. He will take part in the session of the Simonovsky court of Moscow, where the Moscow department of the Federal Penitentiary Service filed a lawsuit to replace him with a suspended sentence in the Yves Rocher case for a real term (3.5 years in prison).

90,000 Users showed Travis Scott how to behave at a concert when the audience gets sick

A flash mob was launched in tiktok: users post videos with famous performers who stopped the concert when the audience felt bad. So they want to show Travis Scott how to deal with emergencies during a performance.

On November 5, on the first day of the rapper’s Astroworld festival, there was a crush. A lot of people tried to get closer to the stage with the artist, some lost their balance and fell unconscious.8 people died, including two minors. 17 people were hospitalized with serious injuries, 11 guests had heart attacks.

After the tragedy, videos appeared on the network in which fans asked Scott to stop the show and tried in every possible way to draw attention to the incident. However, the rapper, judging by the video, continued to perform for some time, although he saw people unconscious.

“Travis, you had the opportunity to stop the show, but you watched your fans fight for life and continued to sing.”

A girl and a guy are trying to convince the operator to stop the show

Users raised the archives and found videos from concerts of other stars who behaved directly opposite to Scott.As soon as they saw fans who needed medical attention, the number was interrupted and doctors were called.

Travis’ rap scene colleague Post Malone stopped the show when he noticed the viewer was feeling unwell. The guests of the concert showed the artist exactly where the victim was, and he ordered to stop the music and send help to him.

Another example from users of what Scott should have done is New York rapper ASAP Rocky.

Rapper JayDaYoungan noticed a fan’s poor condition and immediately stopped performing.He didn’t continue to sing until he was sure he was okay.

More than 3.5 million likes were collected by the video from the concert of the British singer Adele. She stopped singing and stopped the music when she saw the unconscious fan. The number continued only after the doctors arrived in time.

Under the video with Adele, comments criticizing Travis Scott became the most popular. “Oh, look how easy it is to stop a concert,” users wrote and called for the rapper to be blocked on Spotify so that he would not receive money from streaming.

Another example for Scott, according to users, is the rock band Linkin Park. Late frontman Chester Bennington and co-vocalist Mike Shinoda paused to draw the crowd’s attention to a fan who got sick during the show. The musicians stated that the safety of the audience is paramount.

According to media reports, Scott interrupted the performance several times, seeing what was happening, and asked the guards to help the victims.

“Please stop telling me that Travis didn’t stop the show to report people who have passed out.He always does this if he sees the victim “

I get that but you gotta look at from his pov. He can’t see everything that’s going on especially if you’re not in the front of the crowd at least. And none of the security or paramedics on the ground communicated anything to him while he was on stage

– Ⓜ️ (@WashedMel) November 6, 2021

“We need to look at the situation from his point of view.You cannot see everything that is happening, especially if you are not in a crowd. And none of the security personnel or medics told him anything while he was on stage. “

Scott’s critics recalled the rapper’s previous “sins”, including a case in 2017 when the rapper encouraged fans to jump down from balconies. One of those who jumped from the third floor and remained partially paralyzed sued the artist, but the lawsuit is still pending.

After the incident at Astroworld, Scott announced that he was cooperating with the police and was ready to support the families of the victims.However, festival guests filed lawsuits against him and Drake, who was also performing on stage when the stampede began.

My colleague annoys me | Glamor

** Marina writes: ** “I cannot overcome my dislike for one colleague at work. She hasn’t done me any harm, but every time I see her, I just shake!
I confess that I substituted her several times at work, I understand that this is bad. But I can’t do anything. She makes me angry. She is not a competitor to me, she is not more beautiful than me, I had no enemies like her.I can’t live like this, I’m not like that at all. I am kind. I have many friends. How to get rid of this negativity clogging up karma? ”

Psychologist https://www.glamour.ru/ Sophia Nikolaeva answers: “First, you should find out the real reason for your dislike for your colleague, and how mutual it is. Return mentally to the moment when your attitude towards her became just like that. Remember if it was ever different, even indifferent, and what of her behavior served to change your opinion about her, which strengthened you in this opinion.Perhaps she allowed herself some phrase that you considered inappropriate, she acted ugly or irresponsibly with one of your fellow colleagues. Perhaps you even considered her a professional, but she did not live up to your hopes, making some kind of mistake in her work, which caused the birth of mistrust on your part in everything. It is also possible that you two simply belong to different personality types and perceive work responsibilities differently, assimilate information at different rates, and value time differently.
To cure personal hostility, ask yourself if there is an objective reason for the enmity, or if you yourself created it in your head, winding it up like a snowball, after one insignificant event, an unspoken resentment. If you want to get rid of hostility, take a step towards it yourself, talk frankly about your feelings and the harm and discomfort that you are experiencing.
Try to find at least one positive side in a person and pay her a compliment, go to dinner with people you like, perhaps you can get to know her better and see a lot of positive qualities.There is a possibility that she will look for a dirty trick in your behavior, so you should be as sincere in dealing with her as possible, and you will succeed. ”

Olga Buzova’s fans stormed and fought at her concert

Olga Buzova

Photo: Instagram

Last evening, TV presenter and aspiring singer Olga Buzova performed in one of the clubs in Yekaterinburg with a big solo concert. The star delighted the fans with the performance of their favorite hits by millions. Olga was supported by thunderous applause.However, the event was not without incidents.

According to some reports, two thousand tickets were sold for Buzova’s performance (other sources claim 2500), although the hall was designed for 1500 seats. Therefore, a tense situation arose. According to eyewitnesses, there was a crush, and then someone lost consciousness from the stuffiness.

“It felt like, when compared with other concerts, there were a lot of people. It was unrealistic to move, people fainted due to the stuffiness, it was very difficult to break through the crowd to the fresh air.One of the hottest spots was the fan zone, which was fenced off, but did not make a normal exit. Therefore, when someone tried to leave her to go to the toilet, he went to ram into the crowd, which was indignant and conflicts arose, ”a fan of Olga is quoted in the local public.

The girl expressed her indignation at the situation. “Should there be any norms and security measures? How is this possible?” – she was indignant.

But the stampede and swooning did not end there. According to local journalists, two of Olga’s fans had a fight at the concert.The conflict took place between the spectators in the fan zone and the fans of the star, who bought tickets away from the stage to the dance floor.

“I did not notice the start of the fight. They say that one of the participants in the conflict doused the other with beer. As a result, the guards had to intervene, ”an eyewitness told reporters.

Olga’s fans loaded her with bouquets of flowers and soft toys

Photo: Instagram

At the same time, the club’s PR manager claims that rumors that there were more tickets than seats are not true.