What are the reasons why penis size doesn’t determine sexual satisfaction. How do factors like technique and emotional connection impact intimacy more than physical dimensions. Why do many women say size truly doesn’t matter during sex.

The Truth About Penis Size and Sexual Satisfaction

The age-old question of whether penis size matters to women has been a source of anxiety and debate for countless men. However, research and anecdotal evidence suggest that the importance of size is often overblown. Let’s explore the reasons why penis size may not be as crucial for sexual satisfaction as many believe.

What does science say about average penis size?

Before delving into the reasons why size doesn’t matter as much as commonly thought, it’s important to understand what constitutes “average” penis size. According to a comprehensive study published in the BJU International journal:

• The average erect penis length is 5.16 inches (13.12 cm)
• The average erect penis girth is 4.59 inches (11.66 cm)

These figures are based on measurements from thousands of men across various studies. It’s worth noting that there is significant variation among individuals, and what’s considered “normal” spans a wide range.

Reason 1: The Vagina Adapts to Different Sizes

One of the primary reasons why penis size may not be as critical as some believe is the incredible adaptability of the vagina. How does the vagina accommodate different sizes?

• The vagina is highly elastic and can expand or contract to fit various penis sizes
• During arousal, the vagina lengthens and widens to accommodate penetration
• The vaginal walls have pleats that unfold during intercourse, allowing for further expansion

This adaptability means that most women can experience pleasurable sensations with partners of varying sizes. The vagina’s ability to adjust ensures that both smaller and larger penises can provide satisfying sexual experiences.

What about vaginal depth?

The average vaginal depth is approximately 3-4 inches when unaroused and can extend to 5-7 inches when aroused. This means that even men with below-average penis sizes can typically reach the areas most sensitive to sexual stimulation.

Reason 2: Technique and Communication Matter More

While size may play a role in sexual satisfaction for some women, many report that technique and communication are far more important factors. How can couples improve their sexual experiences regardless of size?

• Focus on foreplay and building arousal before penetration
• Experiment with different positions to find what works best for both partners
• Communicate openly about preferences, desires, and boundaries
• Use hands, mouth, and toys to enhance pleasure
• Pay attention to the entire body, not just the genitals

By prioritizing these aspects of sexual interaction, couples can achieve high levels of satisfaction regardless of penis size. Many women report that a partner’s willingness to listen, learn, and adapt is far more important than physical dimensions.

Reason 3: The Most Sensitive Areas Are Near the Vaginal Entrance

Another crucial factor in understanding why size doesn’t necessarily matter is the location of the most sensitive areas of the vagina. Where are the key pleasure zones for most women?

• The clitoris, located externally at the top of the vulva
• The G-spot, typically found 1-3 inches inside the vagina on the front wall
• The first third of the vagina, which contains the highest concentration of nerve endings

Given that these highly sensitive areas are all relatively close to the vaginal entrance, penis length beyond a certain point may not significantly enhance pleasure for many women. In fact, some women report discomfort or pain when a partner with a longer penis makes contact with the cervix during deep penetration.

What about the A-spot and cervical stimulation?

While some women do enjoy deeper stimulation, including contact with the anterior fornix (A-spot) or cervix, this is not universal. Many women find cervical contact uncomfortable or painful. The key is communication and discovering what works best for each individual.

The Importance of Emotional Connection and Intimacy

Beyond physical factors, the emotional and psychological aspects of sex play a crucial role in overall satisfaction. How does emotional connection impact sexual experiences?

• Trust and comfort with a partner can lead to greater relaxation and arousal
• Emotional intimacy can enhance the intensity of physical sensations
• Feeling desired and appreciated by a partner can boost confidence and enjoyment
• Open communication about desires and boundaries can lead to more fulfilling experiences

Many women report that the emotional connection with their partner is far more important for sexual satisfaction than any physical attribute, including penis size. Cultivating intimacy, trust, and mutual respect can significantly enhance sexual experiences regardless of size.

Overcoming Size-Related Anxiety

Despite the evidence suggesting that size is not a primary factor in sexual satisfaction for most women, many men still experience anxiety about their penis size. How can individuals and couples address these concerns?

• Focus on overall sexual health and well-being rather than physical measurements
• Communicate openly with partners about concerns and insecurities
• Explore non-penetrative forms of sexual pleasure
• Consider counseling or sex therapy if anxiety persists
• Remember that confidence and attentiveness are often more attractive than size

By shifting the focus from size to overall sexual satisfaction and connection, many couples find that their concerns about penis size become less significant over time.

The Role of Media and Societal Expectations

The persistent myth that “bigger is better” when it comes to penis size is largely perpetuated by media representations and societal expectations. How do these factors impact perceptions of size and sexual satisfaction?

• Pornography often features men with above-average penis sizes, creating unrealistic expectations
• Jokes and cultural references frequently equate masculinity with large penis size
• Marketing for penis enlargement products preys on insecurities and reinforces size-related anxieties
• Lack of comprehensive sex education leaves many people ill-informed about sexual anatomy and function

Recognizing the influence of these external factors can help individuals and couples develop a more realistic and healthy perspective on penis size and sexual satisfaction. It’s important to remember that what’s portrayed in media often doesn’t reflect the diverse realities of human sexuality.

How can we combat unrealistic expectations?

Promoting body positivity, comprehensive sex education, and open dialogues about sexual health and pleasure can help counteract the negative impact of unrealistic societal expectations. Encouraging diverse representations of bodies and relationships in media can also contribute to a more balanced understanding of human sexuality.

When Size Might Matter: Individual Preferences and Exceptions

While the evidence suggests that size is not a primary factor for most women, it’s important to acknowledge that individual preferences vary. Are there situations where size might play a more significant role?

• Some women may have a preference for larger or smaller penises based on personal experience or physical compatibility
• Certain sexual positions or activities may be more enjoyable with specific sizes
• Medical conditions or anatomical variations could impact size preferences for some individuals

It’s crucial to remember that these preferences are highly individual and do not reflect universal truths about sexual satisfaction. Open communication between partners is key to understanding and accommodating each other’s needs and desires.

What if there’s a significant size mismatch between partners?

In cases where there’s a notable size difference between partners that impacts sexual satisfaction, there are several potential solutions:

• Experimenting with different positions to find the most comfortable and pleasurable options
• Using lubricants to reduce friction and discomfort
• Incorporating sex toys or aids to enhance stimulation
• Focusing on non-penetrative forms of sexual activity
• Consulting with a sex therapist or medical professional for personalized advice

With creativity, communication, and a willingness to explore, most couples can find ways to achieve sexual satisfaction regardless of size differences.

The Bottom Line: Satisfaction Beyond Size

In conclusion, while penis size may be a source of curiosity and concern for many, it’s clear that it’s not the primary determinant of sexual satisfaction for most women. What factors contribute most to fulfilling sexual experiences?

• Emotional connection and intimacy with a partner
• Open communication about desires, preferences, and boundaries
• Willingness to experiment and learn what works best for both partners
• Focus on overall sexual health and well-being
• Appreciation for the diverse nature of human sexuality and bodies

By prioritizing these aspects of sexual relationships, couples can achieve high levels of satisfaction and intimacy regardless of physical dimensions. Remember that every individual and relationship is unique, and what matters most is finding what works best for you and your partner.

Ultimately, the statement “size doesn’t matter” isn’t just a platitude – it’s supported by research and the experiences of many women. While individual preferences may vary, the overall evidence suggests that factors like emotional connection, communication, and sexual technique play a far more significant role in sexual satisfaction than penis size alone.

As we continue to evolve our understanding of human sexuality, it’s important to move beyond simplistic notions of what constitutes “good” sex. By embracing the complexity and diversity of sexual experiences, we can foster healthier, more satisfying relationships and challenge harmful myths about body image and sexual performance.

Remember, the most important “size” in a sexual relationship is the size of your heart, your empathy, and your willingness to listen and learn. These qualities, more than any physical attribute, are the true keys to lasting sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.

When Women Say Size Doesn’t Matter, They Actually Mean It | by Aliya S. King

When Women Say Size Doesn’t Matter, They Actually Mean It | by Aliya S. King | LEVEL

Once and for all: it’s really (totally) fine!

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Jun 13, 2020

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Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

Before I even begin, let me get one thing out of the way: No column that I write is one-size-fits-all. There…

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Does Size Matter for Women?

Source: Original cartoon by Alex Martin

The evolutionary significance of penis size has been a topic for abundant speculation, often packaged with the myth that the human phallus is far bigger than in other primates. However, the human penis is actually a little shorter, though much wider, than in bonobos and common chimpanzees. (See my January 3, 2015 post Penis Size Matters and the sequel Expanding on Penis Size of February 4.) Curiously—despite the unquestionable need to consider “goodness of fit” (with apologies to statisticians)—length and width of the vagina have barely been mentioned.

Size of the human vagina

In a rare discussion of female dimensions, in 2005 Jillian Lloyd and colleagues reported an average vagina length of just under four inches for 50 women, with extremes of two-and-a-half and five inches. Importantly, vagina length did not differ between women with previous births and those without. So the particularly challenging human birth process seemingly causes no lasting distension of the vagina. Yet David Veale and colleagues reported in a very recent survey covering some 15,000 men that the average length of a man’s erect penis is about five-and-a-quarter inches. This is somewhat less than previously reported, but even at that size, the average erect penis is a third longer than the average vagina. So it is hardly surprising that women reportedly care more about excessive penis length than men’s preoccupation with bragging rights.

Comparison with non-human primates

Vagina length plotted against body weight for humans and 27 other primate species. Linked points are for inflated and flat sexual swellings.

Source: Plot by Robert D. Martin of Data from Dixson (2012)

As usual, comparisons with non-human primates place human data in perspective. Alan Dixson’s book Primate Sexuality is once again a prime source, listing vagina lengths for humans and 27 other primate species. The four-and-a-half inches cited for human vagina length (from Bancroft, 1989) is about 10% greater than reported by Jillian Lloyd and colleagues, but still notably less than the length of the average erect penis. Plotting against female body weight, using Dixson’s data, reveals that vagina length scales to body weight with simple proportionality. Despite some scatter, a clear trend is evident and average vagina length for women actually lies close to the best-fit line. So women do not have a particularly long vagina compared to other primates. Strikingly, however, at a little over five inches, the vagina of female chimpanzees is distinctly longer than in women. Moreover, across the middle of the menstrual cycle, the sex skin in the genital region of female chimpanzees is conspicuously swollen, extending the vagina’s effective length by almost two inches.

Unfortunately, data on vagina width for primates are generally lacking, so it is unknown whether a woman’s vagina is relatively wider than in other primates.

The human clitoris

Anatomically, a woman’s direct counterpart (homologue) of a man’s penis is her clitoris. However, it differs distinctly because the penis has a dual role for urination and insemination. By contrast, a woman’s clitoris is connected solely with copulation and is not even involved in fertilization. The clitoris is a woman’s most sensitive erogenous zone and the main anatomical source of sexual pleasure. And it is isolated from the urinary tract, whose opening (urethra) is more than an inch away.

Despite its exclusive link to copulation, the clitoris has been shamefully neglected by investigators. In their 2005 paper, Jillian Lloyd and colleagues baldly commented: “ … even some recent text books of anatomy do not include the clitoris on diagrams of the female pelvis.” These authors gave an average of three-quarters of an inch for externally measurable clitoris length. But there is extensive variation over an eight-fold range from one-fifth of an inch to one-and-a-half inches. Despite its small size, the so-called “love button” contains some 8,000 sensory nerve fibers, double the number in the dome of the penis and surpassing the density anywhere else in the body.

Externally visible glans and the large internal parts of the clitoral complex in women.

Source: Relabelled illustration drawn by Amphis, from Jesielt / Wikimedia Commons

Two recent papers published in 1998 and 2005 by Helen O’Connell and colleagues greatly enhanced our understanding of clitoris anatomy. The first, based on dissection of 10 cadavers, revealed that the externally visible clitoris (the glans) is just one small part of a “clitoral complex” that is far more extensive than previously realized. Indeed, a 2012 blog post by Robbie Gonzalez aptly likened the overall complex to a mostly invisible iceberg. The second paper by O’Connell and colleagues used magnetic resonance imaging to study the fine structure of the clitoral system. On each side, the hidden part of the complex consists of a bulb and sponge-like body (corpus cavernosum) extending into a tapering arm (crus). The body and arm together are about four inches long, considerably longer than the external glans. The hidden clitoral complex is erectile, whereas this may not be technically true of the glans, although it does become engorged during sexual arousal. The bulbs and bodies together flank the vaginal opening and bulge when erect, compressing it.

In 2010, Odile Buisson used ultrasound scans to investigate the role of the clitoris while two volunteer doctors engaged in intercourse. The images revealed that inflation of the vagina by the penis stretched the root of the clitoris, such that it had a very close relationship with the front wall of the vagina, known as the G-spot. The authors concluded from their study: “The clitoris and vagina must be seen as an anatomical and functional unit being activated by vaginal penetration during intercourse.”

A functionless vestige?

In the words of Stephen Jay Gould (1993), “As women have known since the dawn of our time, the primary site for stimulation to orgasm centers upon the clitoris.” And the female orgasm has generally been the main context for discussions of the significance of the clitoris. (See my June 5, 2014 post Female Orgasms: Getting Off or Getting On?). Many proposed explanations boil down to the basic question of whether the clitoris and associated orgasms are adapted for some particular function or merely vestigial byproducts. Along with Gould, Elisabeth Lloyd forcefully advocated the notion that a woman’s clitoris, like a man’s nipples, is simply a functionless carry-over from shared early developmental pathways. The main argument underpinning this interpretation is that both occurrence of female orgasms and external clitoris size are so variable that they are seemingly not filtered by natural selection.

In a 2008 paper, Kim Wallen and Elisabeth Lloyd reported that variability in clitoris length is more than threefold greater than for vagina or penis length. However, in subsequent commentaries, David Hosken and Vincent Lynch noted two flaws in their argument. First, Hosken emphasized that variation in clitoris size may not tell us anything about female orgasm. Second, size variability does not, in fact, differ significantly between the clitoris and the penis. In principle, the variability measure used by Wallen and Lloyd—the coefficient of variation—cancels out differences in average size. However, clitoris length is less than one-sixth of penis length, so measurement error has a greater impact. To counteract this problem, Lynch compared variability in clitoris and penis volumes and found no significant difference. In any case, we should hardly expect to achieve meaningful results if we examine the tip of an iceberg instead of the entire thing!

References

Bancroft, J. (1989). Human Sexuality and its Problems (Second Edition). Edinburgh: Churchill Livingstone.

Buisson, O., Foldes, P., Jannini, E. & Mimoun, S. (2010) Coitus as revealed by ultrasound in one volunteer couple. Journal of Sexual Medicine 7:2750-2754.

Di Marino, V. & Lepedi, H. (2014) Anatomic Study of the Clitoris and the Bulbo-Clitoral Organ. Heidelberg: Springer.

Dixson, A.F. (2012) Primate Sexuality: Comparative Studies of the Prosimians, Monkeys, Apes and Human Beings (Second Edition). Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Gonzalez, R. (2012) Blog post for io9, filed to Sexology: http://io9.com/5876335/until-2009-the-human-clitoris-was-an-absolute-my…

Hosken, D.J. (2008) Clitoral variation says nothing about female orgasm. Evolution & Development 10:393-395.

Lloyd, E.A. (2005) The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Lloyd, J., Crouch, N.S., Minto, C.L., Liao, L.-M. & Creighton, S.M. (2005) Female genital appearance: ‘normality’ unfolds. British Journal of Obstetrics & Gynaecology 112:643-646.

Lynch, V.J. (2008) Clitoral and penile size variability are not significantly different: lack of evidence for the byproduct theory of the female orgasm. Evolution & Development 10:396-397.

Museum of Sex blog on the internal clitoris: http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

O’Connell, H.E., Hutson, J.M., Anderson, C.R. & Plenter, R.J. (1998) Anatomical relationship between urethra and clitoris. Journal of Urology 159:1892-1897.

O’Connell, H.E., Sanjeevan, K.V. & Hutson, J.M. (2005) Anatomy of the clitoris. Journal of Urology 174:1189-1195.

Veale, D., Miles, S., Bramley, S., Muir, G. & Hodsoll, J. (2015) Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men. BJU International doi:10.1111/bju.13010, 1-9.

Verkauf, B.B., Von Thorn, J. & O’Brien, W.F. (1992) Clitoral size in normal women. Obstetrics & Gynecology 80:41-44.

Wallen, K. & Lloyd, E.A. (2008) Clitoral variability compared with penile variability supports nonadaptation of female orgasm. Evolution & Development 10:1-2.

A British therapist explained whether penis size should be worrying about

Even before Sigmund Freud, the world could hardly do without discussing a juicy topic: the size of a man’s penis did not leave in peace, probably, both rulers and simple male workers. But the shame from the discussion did not allow me to look at everything honestly and openly. Here are the main factors to consider.

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Is sexual contact acceptable before marriage? Or do both man and woman have to wait years? Share your opinion in the comments!

The simple answer given by many girls and biologists is no, “what you do with your organ matters. ” However, some men still firmly believe that their penis is not big enough and that if they had a bigger penis, they would be better lovers. Charlotte Simpson, an accredited psychosexual therapist and relationship consultant with a private practice in North West London, has dotted all the i’s so that men can finally become more confident and not worry about their penis.

Measuring the penis will not change the size, so ask yourself why measure it? If you find out that your penis is in the “mid range”, will that assuage your fears? What will you do if you find that it is actually less than average? Unfortunately, many men try to increase the size of the penis with the help of various interventions, which can be invasive, expensive, but the person’s sense of self will still not change. The solution, most likely, will be a change in attitude towards yourself and your penis, in other words, you need to learn to love what you have.

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Average penis size and girls’ opinions

Studies show that the average adult’s penis is about 13 cm long when erect (meanwhile, about 45% of men think their penis is too small). Some studies show that men place more importance on size than their women. As a rule, it is more important that the partner be gentle and caring. So, not only penis size, but also knowing how your partner likes to be touched and caressed contributes to better sex.

The belief that the priority is the penetration of a giant penis is not quite close to reality. In fact, for women, most of the pleasant sensations do not come from inside the vagina, but outside, in the clitoris, where the most sensitive parts of the female body are located. By the way, during intercourse, the woman’s vagina adapts to the partner’s penis, deepening, expanding, and vice versa. Some note that a smaller penis is often preferable for oral and anal sex.

Ownership of the penis

Psychosexual therapist Charlotte Simpson’s advice: make friends with your penis. If you see the penis as your enemy, always letting you down and embarrassing you, then you won’t be able to form positive feelings about your body and sexual relationships. Think about what conditions can improve the performance of your penis: sobriety, sufficient and proper stimulation, proper nutrition, sports are a few influencing factors.

If you are overweight, try to get rid of it with a healthy diet and regular exercise. Not only will you feel better, but your penis will also appear larger without being surrounded by fat. Some men find that removing pubic hair makes their penis more visible.

Sex

Worrying about the size of your penis can lead to erection problems. Good sex is all about being comfortable and relaxed, focusing only on the physical sensations you are having with your partner. You may have a smaller than average penis, but that shouldn’t stop you from having relationships and having good sex. Like all parts of the body, penises come in many shapes and sizes.

When upright, many of them have a natural curve and point in different directions. Pornography is a common source for comparing one’s size and one’s sex life. Given that male porn actors are often hired for their extraordinarily large penises, comparing your body to theirs is not relevant, and certainly won’t make you feel better. It is worth considering that porn films are always staged and have little in common with real sexual contact.

scientists figured out which penises are better for women

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• (Illustration by Brian Mautz/PNAS).

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• (Illustration by Brian Mautz/PNAS).

Biologists from different countries have found out how the ideal of male beauty looks from the point of view of the fair sex. At the same time, scientists figured out how this point of view influenced the process of evolution of the male genitalia.

A study published in the journal PNAS states that women carefully evaluate the size of a man’s penis when choosing a partner, while the masculinity of the body and broad shoulders do not play such an important role.

Researchers tested women using questionnaires and drawings. 105 straight Australian women were shown computer images of male bodies that differed from each other in three dimensions: height, shoulder-to-hip ratio and penis length. There were 53 images in total.

The results showed that most women prefer tall men with a large shoulder-to-hip ratio and a long penis. But here it is impossible to say “the bigger, the better,” since the penises, the size of which greatly exceeded the average, were not considered attractive by the subjects.

The lead author of this study, biologist Brian Mautz of the University of Ottawa, believes that women have a certain ceiling in their preferences regarding the penis of their potential partner.

Scientists have calculated that the most attractive were those penises whose length ranged from 12.8 to 14.2 centimeters in a non-erect state. This figure is quite close to the average figure of 9 centimeters. At the same time, the preferences of women in the field of the male figure, apparently, are very far from reality.

The current conclusion of scientists contradicts a study conducted by William Masters (William Masters) and Virginia Johnson (Virginia Johnson) in 1966. Then these researchers said that for most women, penis size does not play any role in assessing male attractiveness.

Mautz and his colleagues believe that female preferences influenced sexual selection and could influence the evolution of male genital organs, because today, of all primates, humans have the longest and widest penis. Biologists tried to figure out what factors could influence the development of this organ, but came to the conclusion that more data is needed for this.