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Does size matter for women: Does Size Really Matter?

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When Women Say Size Doesn’t Matter, They Actually Mean It | by Aliya S. King

When Women Say Size Doesn’t Matter, They Actually Mean It | by Aliya S. King | LEVEL

Once and for all: it’s really (totally) fine!

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4 min read

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Jun 13, 2020

Illustration: Janet Sung

Update 6/7/22: Level has a new home. You can read this article and other new articles by visiting LEVELMAN.com.

Before I even begin, let me get one thing out of the way: No column that I write is one-size-fits-all. There…

Written by Aliya S. King

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Aliya S. King is an author, freelance writer and editor.

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20 Women Talk About Whether Or Not Penis Size Matters

We have always been confused if or not size matters for women. We have also wanted to figure out what women need to satisfy their sexual needs. It’s time to toss away another myth, though it is not so much a myth but a perception. We figured the best way to get an answer is to ask women themselves. 

Most men are curious to know what is women’s take on the ideal penis size. Most women had the same reaction when asked- they said, “what difference does it make, they’re not gonna change their size”. Maybe men can’t change their penis size (unless enhancements are up to their alley), but they can definitely change their technique, so size actually doesn’t matter and we don’t mean just small penis size here. Most women face issues with big penises too.

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In a poll carried out recently, the tally revealed that women preferred a small to average penis size in men they see themselves long term with, since reaching orgasm was comfortable and possible with an average sized penis. It was also revealed that women preferred a big penis during a one night stand to stimulate nerve endings in their vagina, instead of making an orgasm their ultimate goal.

So trying to put an end to this eternal confusion we asked 20 women to reveal what their ideal penis size is and if size mattered more than the technique and this is what they had to say (results in the end).

Sanya, 27

I mean it can’t be a Cheetos chip but no, size doesn’t really matter unless it’s a really big di*k. That scares me but if the guy makes me comfortable, then it’s all cool.

Sanjana, 28 (name changed)

Yes, size matters. There’s no skill without a tool and even the best of tools are useless without skill. I met a guy who sprung up with his 7.5 inches. I wanted to run. Because there is only so much your body can take. Besides, he was kind of behaving like an ogre, if you know what I mean.

The I also met one with a 5 inch one (I think) he got the skill right but I think there was room for more. So, the length and girth. Possibly girth more than length. How they wield it is also important. But yes, size matters. Not much you can do with an earthworm and a fist-ish will most definitely destroy you.

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Ritika, 30

It actually depends on a lot of factors. I am short person, so for me a big penis is a little difficult. I mean not because it has problems finding its way but it hurts in the, “you’re hurting my stomach kinda way”. If it’s too small, it gets lost in my pubes. So I prefer an average size that gets the ‘job’ done.

Gia, 32

My ex had a small one but his girth was just about right. It was thick. So even though his penis didn’t extend more than 5 inches (when it was hard), the girth made it possible for me to climax. Plus he had these moves that compensated for his size. Small penises aren’t bad at all if the man knows how to use it.

© Thinkstock/Getty Images

Garima, 30 (name changed)

Both actually. but technique more than size. If you don’t know how to make love to a woman, you will not make her orgasm even with the biggest dick in the world. Having said that, even the most skilled lover might fall short of pleasing their woman, if they are too small.  

Most women do not orgasm from penetration, proving technique (foreplay and much more) is more important than size. Also, if size was more important than technique, penis enhancement procedures and condoms would have been more popular than articles telling men how to make women orgasm.

Preeti, 36

One guy was just too big for me. That’s the day I realised big penises mean shit, actually. He probably didn’t know what to do with it himself and he kept ramming me like hitting the bottom of a sauce bottle, to get it to come out. I could feel his whole body inside me. Size does matter and big penises are hard to figure! I prefer average and technique.

Vrinda, 30 (name changed)

I have had a range of sizes and in my experience, skill compensates for the lack of size, any day. Also, size or no size, the quality of sex or what a guy does with a woman in the sack depends largely on what he feels for her or how generous or selfish he is in bed. Big di*k’s, small di*k’s: orgasms have more to do with the effort men make to get their ladies off sometimes, instead of just the length and girth of their little man.

Nandini, 25

This one guy I was with kept showing his big penis off. His words “look at this big di*k. does it turn you on”? And it really didn’t turn me on because he kept showing off. It was like all talk and no action. He wasn’t good in bed at all. So no, penis size has nothing to do with how good or bad the sex is.

Maampi 24 (name changed)

I think both size and technique matter because there are some women who like crazy fetishes and want their guys to give them complete pleasure in bed. So if you look at it, technique is equally important and foreplay is a must. Eventually, of course size does matter.

Aashna, 33

This guy’s penis was actually the size of a chap stick. I couldn’t even feel him inside me! It was bad. I feel bad saying this because he’s a nice guy and he tried real hard but I prefer a big one I guess.

Pratichi, 26

I think men with big dicks are way more confident and you can see that confidence ooze out while in bed with them. So even if you don’t climax, they give you a good time.

Megha, 33

For me it’s not about size. If a man can give me some good loving, I absolutely have no qualms about how big or small his penis is. Also FYI, a penis is not the only way to make a girl cum!

Tamanna, 28

I don’t want a thumb for a penis size! Other than that size, any other is just about fine.

Mainika, 24

I have no issues with size. I just don’t want to see a bent penis! Yes, they exist and it freaks me out. Other than that, if the man is big or small really doesn’t matter. All that matters is how he uses his tool.

Ragini, 30 (name changed)

Size, definitely. There’s no such thing as bad sex, actually, except when there’s no sensation. Which is what happens if it’s too small. You don’t even feel it. What’s the point in that? But, if the guy well-endowed, then he doesn’t need to work very hard, and neither do you.

© Thinkstock/Getty Images

Apeksha, 38

In my experience with men, I’ve come to realise size is not too important. I have been with a lot of men, with different shapes and sizes. If the penis is too big, it barely does the work but still satiates you. If it’s too small, the guy compensates that with his extraordinary moves. So size really isn’t the question as much as technique is. Guys really shouldn’t be insecure with their size. If they tank in bed because of bad technique, that’s something of concern.

Malini, 30

I have a petite frame and I think guys with big di*ks are overrated. Average vagina’s are only 3-4 inches deep, so if a big penis man penetrates that, he can only come halfway through. It’s quite a waste. Besides, it becomes quite painful to take in a big penis for someone as petite as me. My vote is for an average sized penis, any day!

© Thinkstock/Getty Images

Malvika, 29 (name changed)

Although, a vagina can expand almost 200% of its average depth, a mighty huge penis can’t reach the clit properly for an orgasm. Average sized penises usually find their way hassle free. A big penis might be good to look at and a great ego boost for a man but they fall short to make ends meet, if you know what I mean. I have been with men who’ve sprung out their 5 inch di*ks at me and have used them very well!

Richa, 27 (name changed)

Technique for me, always. Size doesn’t matter!

Priya, 25

As long as I don’t have to ask if it’s in, I am happy!

Naintara,32

When I think about the good sex I have had and the bad sex I have had, the two experiences have no correlation with penis sizes, whatsoever! So I’d say, size doesn’t matter!

© Thinkstock/Getty Images

Results:

Size does not matter as much as technique does: 7

I like big penises: 6

Average sized penis does the trick: 5

I am okay with a small sized penis: 2

So, in this expansive study, women mostly supported technique to be the genesis of making women reach orgasm. The size of the penis matters but not as much as to make her reach climax. A lot of women may like big penises but more than the length the girth matters. The right girth and penis size can do wonders for women and of course, good technique plays a vital role in doing so too. Otherwise, most women prefer average Indian male, with an average sized penis, wins the lucky draw!

A British therapist explained whether penis size should be worrying about

Even before Sigmund Freud, the world could hardly do without discussing a juicy topic: the size of a man’s penis did not leave in peace, probably, both rulers and simple male workers. But the shame from the discussion did not allow me to look at everything honestly and openly. Here are the main factors to consider.

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Is sexual contact acceptable before marriage? Or do both man and woman have to wait years? Share your opinion in the comments!

The simple answer given by many girls and biologists is no, “what you do with your organ matters. ” However, some men still firmly believe that their penis is not big enough and that if they had a bigger penis, they would be better lovers. Charlotte Simpson, an accredited psychosexual therapist and relationship consultant with a private practice in North West London, has dotted all the i’s so that men can finally become more confident and not worry about their penis.

Measuring the penis will not change the size, so ask yourself why measure it? If you find out that your penis is in the “mid range”, will that assuage your fears? What will you do if you find that it is actually less than average? Unfortunately, many men try to increase the size of the penis with the help of various interventions, which can be invasive, expensive, but the person’s sense of self will still not change. The solution, most likely, will be a change in attitude towards yourself and your penis, in other words, you need to learn to love what you have.

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Average penis size and girls’ opinions

Studies show that the average adult’s penis is about 13 cm long when erect (meanwhile, about 45% of men think their penis is too small). Some studies show that men place more importance on size than their women. As a rule, it is more important that the partner be gentle and caring. So, not only penis size, but also knowing how your partner likes to be touched and caressed contributes to better sex.

The belief that the priority is the penetration of a giant penis is not quite close to reality. In fact, for women, most of the pleasant sensations do not come from inside the vagina, but outside, in the clitoris, where the most sensitive parts of the female body are located. By the way, during intercourse, the woman’s vagina adapts to the partner’s penis, deepening, expanding, and vice versa. Some note that a smaller penis is often preferable for oral and anal sex.

Ownership of the penis

Psychosexual therapist Charlotte Simpson’s advice: make friends with your penis. If you see the penis as your enemy, always letting you down and embarrassing you, then you won’t be able to form positive feelings about your body and sexual relationships. Think about what conditions can improve the performance of your penis: sobriety, sufficient and proper stimulation, proper nutrition, sports are a few influencing factors.

If you are overweight, try to get rid of it with a healthy diet and regular exercise. Not only will you feel better, but your penis will also appear larger without being surrounded by fat. Some men find that removing pubic hair makes their penis more visible.

Sex

Worrying about the size of your penis can lead to erection problems. Good sex is all about being comfortable and relaxed, focusing only on the physical sensations you are having with your partner. You may have a smaller than average penis, but that shouldn’t stop you from having relationships and having good sex. Like all parts of the body, penises come in many shapes and sizes.

When upright, many of them have a natural curve and point in different directions. Pornography is a common source for comparing one’s size and one’s sex life. Given that male porn actors are often hired for their extraordinarily large penises, comparing your body to theirs is not relevant, and certainly won’t make you feel better. It is worth considering that porn films are always staged and have little in common with real sexual contact.

scientists figured out which penises are better for women

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  • (Illustration by Brian Mautz/PNAS).

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  • (Illustration by Brian Mautz/PNAS).

Biologists from different countries have found out how the ideal of male beauty looks from the point of view of the fair sex. At the same time, scientists figured out how this point of view influenced the process of evolution of the male genitalia.

A study published in the journal PNAS states that women carefully evaluate the size of a man’s penis when choosing a partner, while the masculinity of the body and broad shoulders do not play such an important role.

Researchers tested women using questionnaires and drawings. 105 straight Australian women were shown computer images of male bodies that differed from each other in three dimensions: height, shoulder-to-hip ratio and penis length. There were 53 images in total.

The results showed that most women prefer tall men with a large shoulder-to-hip ratio and a long penis. But here it is impossible to say “the bigger, the better,” since the penises, the size of which greatly exceeded the average, were not considered attractive by the subjects.

The lead author of this study, biologist Brian Mautz of the University of Ottawa, believes that women have a certain ceiling in their preferences regarding the penis of their potential partner.

Scientists have calculated that the most attractive were those penises whose length ranged from 12.8 to 14.2 centimeters in a non-erect state. This figure is quite close to the average figure of 9 centimeters. At the same time, the preferences of women in the field of the male figure, apparently, are very far from reality.

The current conclusion of scientists contradicts a study conducted by William Masters (William Masters) and Virginia Johnson (Virginia Johnson) in 1966. Then these researchers said that for most women, penis size does not play any role in assessing male attractiveness.

Mautz and his colleagues believe that female preferences influenced sexual selection and could influence the evolution of male genital organs, because today, of all primates, humans have the longest and widest penis. Biologists tried to figure out what factors could influence the development of this organ, but came to the conclusion that more data is needed for this.