A secret ingredient to success

February 28, 2022The COVID-19 pandemic has led employees to step back and re-evaluate their organization, career, and relationship to work itself. Instead of traditional, more transactional retention tactics (e.g., compensation), employees now seek a more personalized, flexible, and human experience on the job, including stronger relationships with leaders, colleagues, and teams.

While online, technology-supported communication has skyrocketed during the pandemic, we’ve simultaneously lost in-person connection and so-called “weak” socio-emotional ties.

Socio-emotional ties are the relational connections between people in society. In some ways, they work like the synapses that connect neurons in the brain. As neurons fire in connection with one another, they develop and strengthen the neural pathways between them. Similarly, formal and organic touch points between colleagues can help create strong relationship networks in organizations, which naturally evolve and change as the business changes. These relationships support organizational structure; fuel innovation, culture, and the spread of information; enable strategy; and often help make change “work.” The socio-emotional ties that create the right connections for impact have taken a hit during the pandemic.

As many organizations plan for a hybrid future, leaders should take these three actions to rebuild organic socio-emotional ties, spark collaborative and innovative business outcomes, and help support disillusioned and exhausted colleagues.

• Inject more apprenticeship. Apprenticeship happens more easily, naturally, and organically in a fully “in-person” work environment; it can be harder, and require more intentionality and planning, in a virtual or hybrid world. Teams become more diverse and geographically distributed as remote work increases, and team members’ roles and needs quickly evolve.

  Leaders must focus on connecting the dots in the teams around them and identify informal leaders to do the same. Practicing intentional apprenticeship helps nurture and reinforce the relational ties that bind, thus creating a virtuous cycle. Because a good apprenticeship relationship is highly functional and high value for the employee—and because it reinforces a socio-emotional and individualized connection—it can be helpful in addressing the Great Attrition.

• Develop “inclusive” tailored solutions. Unique approaches for specific groups will be key to rebuilding organic connections, as the pandemic has influenced different groups in different ways. Younger workers, new employees, and introverts have reported more difficulty in contributing to the team, and in feeling engaged and creative, due to the loss of spontaneous connections and interactions.

  To increase the emphasis on human centricity, one technology corporation is leveraging real-time data to iterate approaches that work for specific groups around office re-entry, facilities management, workplace safety, and contact tracing and care management. Strategies are updated based on daily public health data and employee sentiment analyses via pulse surveys, allowing the company to tailor its recommendations for working parents and younger employee groups alike.

• Pursue both virtual and in-person solutions as a powerful complement (versus a substitute). Do not forget how much has been achieved virtually. People have built the muscle to reconnect previously lapsed connections with long-distance family and friends online during the pandemic; virtual hangouts and other creative ways have emerged to meet social connection needs.

  While many employers may be ready to return to significant in-person presence, we found that nearly three-quarters of employees surveyed would like to work from home two or more days per week. Organizations should expect and prepare for a mix of virtual and in-person teams. One consumer products firm is tackling this through an activity-based policy. The company focuses exclusively on whether the work is getting done, empowering employees to have full control over how and where. This enables different employee groups, such as younger workers or parents, to tailor their working model to their preferences and needs.

Our Great Attrition research has shown that creating a sense of belonging and strengthening relational ties can hold the key to attracting and retaining talent. By using these three strategies to bolster socio-emotional ties—through purposeful in-person interactions and thoughtful virtual interactions—organizations are more likely to rebuild close and supportive personal connections among employees in the hybrid world of work.

The authors would like to thank Marino Mugayar-Baldocchi for his meaningful contributions to this post.

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This blog post is part of a series on the Great Attrition, exploring the immediate actions leaders can take to retain and attract talent at a time when employees are leaving their jobs in droves. Topics include how to keep top-performing talent, the nuances emerging in different industries, adaptability as an antidote to burnout, the implications for the labor shortage and what to do about it, how to build a sense of community in the new employee landscape, the complex relationship between DE&I and attrition, the importance of employee experience, socioemotional support as the organization’s social glue, the need to reimagine and personalize flexibility at work, and competition from the gig economy and entrepreneurism.

EMOTIONAL TIES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

16 de September de 2019

Every day we understand more about the emotional ties and how do they affect us. They have always been there, but being unaware of them is one of the main reasons for our relationships problems. 

How to know if you are living emotional ties?
The emotional or energetic ties present in multiple ways in our life, it can be with a couple, just ending a relationship or even single. Some of the following examples may sound familiar to you:

• You find yourself repeatedly arguing with your partner, you want to stop, but something pushes you to keep fighting, triggering your partner and creating a dead end circle. This is a clear pattern of emotional ties in communication.
• You are ending a relationship, you know it brings no good to no one, but sex seems to be the thread where the string bursts and suddenly, you find yourself entangled again with that person. These are the sexual ties.
• You ended a relationship a while ago, but no matter how you try, something keeps you thinking about this person. Unaware, you talk about him, you complain, judging or longing. Here you can see the emotional ties at a mental level.

All different kind of emotional ties have one thing in common:  they generate self-destructive behaviors that you feel you cannot control.

Do you find easy to advise others, but struggle to apply what you say in your personal things? This happens because each person is dealing with the addictions caused by their own emotional ties.
How emotional ties create and how do they physically work?

The first step is to understand that: a thought always generates an emotion. If you tell the saddest story of your life, drowning your mind with that kind of thoughts, soon your body will react with the emotion of sadness. This means that thoughts condition our emotional state.

The emotional ties feed on the thoughts that we assign to the various aspects of our relationship. We constantly think about what the other did, remembering what your partner said, picturing what he could be doing. There are thousands of options, but the most important task is identifying the emotion that it unleashes inside your body.

After months, perhaps years of bombarding your mind with thoughts and your body with emotions, the dense emotions energy begin to solidify. This creates an energy cord between the other person and you that seems to be detachable; this is what we know as the emotional ties.

Emotional ties always link to emotions such as anguish, guilt, anger, fear, sadness, and depression, generated by behaviors such as conflict, distrust, lack, interest, and need.
So how we release emotional ties?

The first step is to be aware of them since we are unconsciously addicted to the generated emotions. The dysfunctional need we have for the other person or the lived abuse has a psychological origin not only in the mind but also physical. When you already know there is an addiction and an emotional tie, you can start making new decisions and actions.

It is crucial to know yourself and learn about how your mind and emotions affect your body. The way they have taught us to relate makes us prone to creating emotional ties, when they tell us: do not give in yourself, keep a card up your sleeve, you have to manipulate a little to get what you want, etc.

The truth is we are designed to relate in a healthy and harmonious way.

The answer lies in the difference between EMOTIONAL BONDS and emotional ties.

When we start a relationship, we naturally create energetic bonds with the other person. When these energetic bonds are free from attitudes such as manipulation, lack, need, and conflict, we create harmonious and effective relationships.

If dense emotions create emotional ties, then high vibration and attitudes create emotional links.  When a relationship is built based on appreciation, gratitude, and love, what you will naturally live is joy, tranquility, and satisfaction.

This does not mean there will not be arguing or disagreeing, what you must be aware is about the thoughts and emotions with which you constantly feed the idea of your relationship and your partner.

Do you want to let go the emotional ties to create your relationship?
Learning to build your relationship on these positive values is life changing. Relationships have a profound influence on how we feel about our lives and ourselves. How your relationships are determine how your life is. If you are experiencing conflict or joy in the relationships with your family, work or friends, this is how you are feeling in your daily life.

This is the importance of recognizing the emotional ties and learning to release them to make new life decisions.

By BHAIRAVINANDA
UNIVERSITY OF CONSCIOUSNESS
Founder & Director
Tel 305 927 2598
Instagram + Facebook: @universityofconsciousness.com
www.theuniversityofconsciousness.com

16 de March de 2022

what it means, how it occurs and how to establish it, signs

Some compare mental communication with telepathy

Tags:

Psychology

Relationship psychology

Despite the fact that we live in an age of scientific and technological progress, there are still inexplicable phenomena in the world. One of those things is mental connection. What it is? Does it exist? Let’s try to answer these questions.

Contents of the article

What is a mental connection

A mental connection is a connection between people based on thoughts, feelings and emotions. For example, a loved one has not said anything yet, but you already understand what he is thinking about. Or you suddenly want to call a friend, and she literally dials you in a few minutes. You feel the same thing with a person, you experience the same emotions, you understand each other without words and gestures. In such cases, they say that there is a mental connection between people. And some even compare this phenomenon with telepathy.

What do scientists say? Of course, such a phenomenon has long interested them and has been studied, but there is still no exact explanation of what a mental connection is and how it is established. Telepathy has no scientific evidence. But some studies conducted using fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) confirm that this phenomenon still exists and represents the synchronization of the right and left hemispheres of the participants in the conversation – the listener’s brain activity almost completely copies the narrator. But the results of the experiment do not at all explain the causes of the mental connection.

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And adherents of esotericism believe that this is the real telepathy – between people there is a subtle energy connection that persists even at a distance.

The history of mental connection

For the first time, mental connection became known when scientists from different countries began to make the same discoveries almost simultaneously. By the way, this phenomenon has another name – multiples or multiple discoveries. For example, in 1839Louis Dagger in Paris and Henry Talbot in London invented and demonstrated cameras. Or in 1876 Alexander Bell filed a patent for the telephone, and two hours later Elisha Gray did the same. Another great example: in Russia, it is believed that the radio was created in 1896 by Alexander Popov. But the Italians are convinced that this invention belongs to Guglielmo Marconi, who began work back in 1894.

How to explain this? At what point did synchronization occur between scientists who might not even know each other? Science does not have exact answers to these questions.

Signs of a mental connection

Obviously, the closer you are to a person, the stronger your mental connection. It occurs most quickly between parent and child, lovers and close friends. Here are some signs that a mental connection has been established between you and someone else:

• you feel each other’s moods without words;
• often say words and phrases one after another, say something at the same time;
• guess the thoughts and desires of another person;
• intuitively know how your loved one feels or what they do, even if they are far away from you.

How and between whom a mental connection is formed

As a rule, a mental connection is formed between people who like each other. The same outlook on life, common hobbies and interests contribute to its strengthening.

Mental connection between a woman and a man

Such a connection is considered one of the strongest, as it is established on the physical and emotional levels. In order for it to form, it is important to listen and hear the partner, show empathy, support and respect.

Mental connection in twins

Gemini is more prone to creating a mental connection, and many even perceive them as a whole. Of course, each of them is a separate person, but they really feel each other on emotional, physical and psychological levels. Even when the twins grow up and live separately, their mental connection is not destroyed. There are such unique examples:

• American twin sisters Katie and Karin Schneider, living in different cities, without saying a word, decided to play the lottery. It’s hard to believe, but they came up with the same winning combination of numbers.
• British twin brothers Michael and John went on holiday together in the Alps. Going down different tracks on skis, both fell at the same time and broke their legs.

The mental bond between mother and child

The inseparable bond between mother and child is handled by UNICEF. Many believe that it is established even before birth, when the baby is in the womb. This is necessary to protect him, so that he feels safe. Dr. José Martins Filho believes that this connection makes the mother devote herself entirely to the heir in the first years of her life – she herself and the needs of her partner go by the wayside.

How to establish a mental connection

Most often, a mental connection is established spontaneously. But if you set yourself such a goal, you can strengthen it. To do this, it is important to listen and hear the other person, respect his opinion, thoughts and feelings, and show sympathy. If he is absolutely indifferent to you, then nothing will work.

In esotericism there are also exercises to strengthen the mental connection:

• Reception and transmission. One of the tandem walks around the room blindfolded, and the second moves silently. The first one should point to the partner.
• Visualization. Imagine that a loved one will call you in the near future, or internally exchange your thoughts and feelings with him.
• Call to action. Imagine the right person and what they need to do.

How to break the mental connection

Once the mental connection has been formed, it will be quite difficult to break it. Give yourself time to go through this process. There is also the practice of letting go. For this you need:

• Completely relax and tune in. For the atmosphere, you can turn on relaxing music and light candles.
• Imagine a person who needs to be let go.
• Thank him for all the good that he brought into your life, try to get rid of all negative emotions.
• Imagine that the thread that bound you is broken.
• Gradually the image fades and is erased.

Focus on yourself and your life as much as possible: go in for sports, meet friends, find a new hobby.

What psychologists think about mental connection

There is no term mental connection in psychology, but there is a concept of cathexis. This is an emotional investment in a person, a strong attachment, the transfer of one’s energy to him. If the contribution is very strong, then the loved one may have a feeling of connection with the object of attention. Often it is formed between the child and the parents.

What is emotional betrayal and why is it dangerous

Relationship

February 18, 2022

No, it’s not just friendship.

You can listen to the article. If it’s more convenient for you, turn on the podcast.

Everything starts innocently enough and looks like an ordinary friendship. You communicate with a person, exchange messages, go for a walk or snowboard together, share problems and experiences. And then suddenly you realize that you will spend the evening with more pleasure texting with “just a friend” than watching a movie with your own husband or wife. And this connection, which suddenly became unexpectedly strong, destroys your relationship with a permanent partner.

What can be considered emotional cheating

Emotional cheating is when a person is married or in a serious relationship, but gives someone else more time, energy and feelings than his partner. With this “friend” he shares his innermost thoughts, he prefers to turn to him for support, warmth and emotional strokes. In other words, looking for emotions on the side.

45% of men and 35% of women admitted to being emotionally unfaithful to their partners. How do you know if you are one of them? Psychologists and marriage experts identify the following signs:

• You are moving away from your spouse/partner. It is difficult for you to talk with him about something other than everyday household issues.
• You think about your friend all the time, you can’t wait to meet him.
• You are not interested in intimacy with your partner, both emotionally and sexually.
• You spend less time together than before.
• You share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with a friend, not with a partner.
• You are looking for an excuse to give a friend a gift or to please him in some other way.
• It seems to you that a friend understands you better than a partner.
• You would rather spend time with a friend than with a husband or wife.
• You keep your friendship a secret, do not tell your other half what you are talking about, hide the fact that you went to a meeting, and prefer not to mention this relationship at all.
• You feel attracted to your friend.
• You often quarrel with your partner because of your relationship with a friend.

And here are the alarm bells that indicate that your partner or spouse is emotionally cheating:

• He avoids you, behaves aloof, often criticizes you.
• He has become secretive, hides the phone or puts a password on it and slams the lid of the laptop if you suddenly enter the room.
• He has unexpected interests and hobbies.
• He says he is working with a friend on a project and they often need extra time.
• He constantly talks about his boyfriend or girlfriend.
• Usually you are not jealous, but now you feel in your gut that something is wrong.
• When you try to discuss a situation, the husband or wife acts hostile, attacks you, or tries to make you look crazy.

There are several fundamental differences between platonic friendship and emotional betrayal. Infidelity begins when a “friend” becomes closer than a spouse or partner. When traitors have secrets from their halves. And when there is sexual attraction between “friends” – conscious or not.

Study the question 🤔

• Why people cheat and how to avoid it

Why emotional cheating is dangerous

Many people think that there is nothing to worry about: it’s not sex, so it’s not considered cheating. But it’s not like that at all.

1. Emotional intimacy is just a prelude

Psychologists and marriage counselors say that such an emotional connection is also a kind of betrayal, albeit without sex. Because this “just friendship” over time can easily end in bed. Between two people, if they have become so close, there is almost certainly a sexual attraction.

2. Emotional cheating hurts and leads to breakup

Such cheaters often don’t feel guilty, but their spouses or partners think differently. A close emotional connection with another person is no less painful than the fact of sex on the side. True, the attitude to this issue depends on gender.

Researchers conducted a survey and found that women are more afraid of emotional betrayal of a partner, and men – sexual. In any case, both of them feel deceived and betrayed – because close people hide from them an important part of their lives, and lies and concealment destroy trust and harm relationships. As a result, the case may end in a break.

3. Emotional infidelity harms all involved

A friend who is caught up in this peculiar love triangle also has feelings. The cheater, in fact, gives him hope that someday they will be together, and actively feeds it – with warm messages, joint gatherings and walks, meaningful glances and, as it were, random touches.

But at the same time, he does not seem to be going to develop these relations, does not call what is happening a novel, and does not think about leaving the family. That is, he puts his “just friend” in a strange, ridiculous and almost humiliating position. And it hurts.

And finally, this whole situation causes suffering to the traitor himself. He is forced to suppress his feelings, to lie, to dodge, to be torn between two people close to him.

Find out 💔

• What to do if you have been cheated on

What to do if you cheat

Find out why

Maybe you lack care, support and attention. Perhaps your spouse or partner does not spend enough time with you, admires you a little, often criticizes you. Or does not share the interests that are important to you.

Perhaps you need strong emotions, adventure and a shake-up. And it also happens that there is no longer love and warmth between you and the relationship has come to an end, although you refuse to admit it. Be that as it may, try to figure out why you began to look for emotions outside the family.

Realize that cheating destroys your relationship

That you give all your energy, affection, even love to another person. That you are deceiving your partner, moving away from him. All this causes pain and suffering to all parties to the conflict and may eventually end in a break.

Talk to your other half

It’s probably not worth talking about how you have feelings for another person – unless, of course, you plan to get a divorce. But we can discuss the reasons why this happened. For example, you lack support and admiration – tell your partner about this, ask him to devote more time and attention to you. Or go on a journey together to strengthen your marriage and get the experiences you’re missing.

Decide what to do with the “friendship”

Be honest with yourself and see if you can turn this relationship back into purely friendship. If not, such a connection will have to be broken – and as soon as possible. Explain to a friend that this union harms your relationship with your husband or wife and you are forced to cut off communication. Try not to meet this person again, cross him out of your life, at least for a while – do not write or call him, unsubscribe from him on social networks.

Fill in the blanks

Sometimes “platonic betrayals” happen where there is not enough joy and bright positive emotions. Think about where else, besides a relationship with a friend, you can get them. Maybe you should get out more often, or it makes sense to start a new hobby, travel more, do art or sports.

Get help

If you can’t handle the situation but want to keep the relationship going, find a good family therapist and start attending sessions with a partner.

Read 😔

• What to do if you cheat

How to protect your relationship from emotional infidelity

Some family counselors are quite categorical on this issue. They believe that if you are married, you should avoid any contact with members of the opposite sex (or your own if we are talking about homosexual people). This will be the prevention of treason.

This opinion echoes the traditional patriarchal views – when the husband opposes any communication of his wife with other men. But this approach assumes that one of the spouses – most often the husband – does not trust the other and violates his freedom. And such relationships can no longer be called healthy and equal. In addition, the desire to isolate a partner from communicating with friends is a sign of emotional abuse.

Healthy relationships built on friendship, trust and mutual respect are in themselves a defense against adultery. So try the following.

Spend more time together

Go on dates in cafes, restaurants, theatres, movies or walks.