How do women achieve orgasm. What are the different types of female orgasms. Can all women experience multiple orgasms. What factors influence a woman’s ability to climax. How can couples enhance sexual pleasure for women.

The Four Stages of Female Sexual Response

Understanding the female sexual response cycle is crucial for unlocking the secrets of the female climax. Renowned sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson identified a four-step process that many women experience on their journey to orgasm:

1. Excitement: The initial stage of arousal, characterized by increased blood flow to the genitals and a full-body sexual flush.
2. Plateau: Sexual tension builds as the body prepares for orgasm, with continued engorgement of the genitals and increased heart rate and respiration.
3. Orgasm: The peak of sexual pleasure, marked by rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles and a release of sexual tension.
4. Resolution: The body returns to its pre-arousal state as blood flow decreases and heart rate normalizes.

This framework provides a foundation for understanding the physiological changes that occur during sexual arousal and climax. However, it’s important to note that not all women experience these stages in the same way or order.

Exploring the Diverse World of Female Orgasms

Contrary to popular belief, women are capable of experiencing orgasms in multiple ways. While some researchers suggest there may be up to 12 types of female orgasms, the most commonly recognized include:

• Clitoral orgasms
• Vaginal orgasms
• G-spot orgasms
• Blended orgasms (combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation)
• Cervical orgasms
• Nipple orgasms
• Whole-body orgasms

Dr. Michael Ingber, a renowned expert in sexual medicine, notes that clitoral orgasms are the most common type experienced by women. This is due to the high concentration of nerve endings in the clitoris, making it highly sensitive to stimulation.

The Clitoral Orgasm: A Powerhouse of Pleasure

The clitoris is often considered the epicenter of female sexual pleasure. Dr. Steven R. Goldstein, director of gynecologic ultrasound at New York University’s Langone Medical Center, explains that clitoral stimulation produces an experience most analogous to male orgasm. The erectile tissue of the clitoris becomes engorged with blood, leading to a release of tension followed by a period of sensitivity.

Vaginal Orgasms and the G-Spot Debate

While clitoral orgasms are well-documented, the existence and nature of vaginal orgasms have been subjects of debate in the scientific community. The G-spot, named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, is believed by some researchers to be a highly erogenous area located within the vagina.

Dr. Beverly Whipple, a professor emerita at Rutgers University and past president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), describes the G-spot as an area felt through the vaginal wall, composed of tissues from the clitoris, urethra, and female prostate gland. When stimulated, some women report experiencing intense sexual pleasure.

However, the existence and significance of the G-spot remain controversial, with some researchers questioning whether all women can experience pleasure from this specific area.

The Neurological Pathways of Female Pleasure

The female body is a complex network of nerve pathways that can lead to orgasmic experiences. Researchers have identified multiple routes through which women can achieve climax:

• Clitoral nerve pathway
• Vaginal nerve pathway
• Cervical nerve pathway
• Sensory vagus nerve pathway (bypassing the spinal cord)

Dr. Whipple emphasizes that there are many nerve pathways responsible for orgasm in women, highlighting the diversity of female sexual response. This neurological complexity explains why some women can experience orgasms through stimulation of non-genital areas or even through sexual imagery alone.

Overcoming Obstacles to Female Orgasm

Despite the body’s capacity for pleasure, many women face challenges in achieving orgasm. It’s estimated that up to 25% of American women have difficulty reaching climax. These difficulties can stem from various factors:

Physical Factors

• Hormonal imbalances
• Neurological conditions
• Pelvic floor dysfunction
• Medications (e.g., certain antidepressants)
• Chronic illnesses

Psychological Factors

• Anxiety and depression
• Stress
• Body image issues
• Past trauma or abuse
• Relationship problems

Dr. Ingber notes that psychological factors like anxiety and depression can interfere with a woman’s progression through the sexual response cycle. Additionally, feelings of fear, guilt, or loss of control can hinder orgasmic potential.

Therapeutic Approaches to Enhance Female Sexual Pleasure

For women struggling to achieve orgasm, various therapeutic approaches can help unlock their sexual potential:

• Directed masturbation: A technique that helps women explore their bodies and discover what brings them pleasure.
• Sex education: Providing accurate information about anatomy and sexual response can empower women to better understand their bodies.
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy: Addressing negative thought patterns and beliefs that may be inhibiting sexual pleasure.
• Mindfulness techniques: Practicing present-moment awareness to reduce anxiety and enhance sensory experiences.
• Pelvic floor physical therapy: Strengthening and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles to improve sexual function.
• Hormone therapy: In some cases, addressing hormonal imbalances can improve sexual response.

Additionally, the use of vibrators or other sex toys can provide increased stimulation and help some women achieve orgasm more easily. It’s important to remember that every woman’s journey to sexual pleasure is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.

The Role of Communication and Intimacy in Female Orgasm

While understanding the physiological aspects of female orgasm is crucial, the importance of emotional connection and communication cannot be overstated. A fulfilling sexual experience often depends on factors beyond physical stimulation:

• Open and honest communication with partners about desires and preferences
• Creating a safe and comfortable environment for sexual exploration
• Building emotional intimacy and trust within relationships
• Reducing performance pressure and focusing on pleasure rather than orgasm as the ultimate goal
• Exploring non-genital erogenous zones and incorporating full-body sensuality

By fostering a holistic approach to sexuality that encompasses both physical and emotional aspects, couples can create a more satisfying and orgasmic sexual experience for women.

Debunking Myths and Misconceptions About Female Orgasm

Despite advances in our understanding of female sexuality, many myths and misconceptions persist. Addressing these can help women and their partners develop more realistic expectations and healthier attitudes towards sexual pleasure:

Myth: All women should be able to orgasm from penetration alone

Reality: Only about 25% of women consistently orgasm from vaginal intercourse without additional clitoral stimulation. The majority of women require direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.

Myth: Women should be able to achieve multiple orgasms easily

Reality: While some women are capable of multiple orgasms, it’s not universal. Many women experience a refractory period similar to men, during which additional orgasms are difficult or impossible to achieve.

Myth: Longer intercourse always leads to better orgasms

Reality: The quality of stimulation and arousal is often more important than duration. Some women may find prolonged intercourse uncomfortable or lead to decreased sensitivity.

Myth: Women who can’t orgasm are “frigid” or have psychological issues

Reality: Difficulty achieving orgasm can have various causes, including physical factors, medication side effects, or simply a lack of effective stimulation. It doesn’t necessarily indicate a psychological problem.

By dispelling these myths, we can create a more inclusive and understanding environment for exploring female sexuality and orgasm.

The Future of Female Orgasm Research

As our understanding of female sexuality continues to evolve, researchers are exploring new frontiers in the study of orgasm:

• Advanced brain imaging techniques to map neural activity during orgasm
• Investigation of the role of hormones and neurotransmitters in sexual response
• Exploration of the potential health benefits of regular orgasms
• Development of new treatments for sexual dysfunction in women
• Studies on the impact of age, menopause, and hormonal changes on orgasmic capacity

These ongoing research efforts promise to deepen our understanding of female sexual response and potentially lead to new strategies for enhancing sexual pleasure and orgasmic potential.

The Intersection of Technology and Sexual Pleasure

Advancements in technology are also shaping the future of female orgasm exploration:

• Smart sex toys that can be controlled remotely or programmed to respond to body cues
• Virtual reality experiences designed to enhance arousal and sexual response
• Biofeedback devices that help women understand and optimize their sexual response
• Apps that track sexual health, mood, and orgasm frequency

While these technological innovations offer exciting possibilities, it’s important to approach them with a critical eye and consider how they may impact intimate relationships and overall sexual well-being.

Embracing Sexual Diversity and Individuality

As we continue to unravel the mysteries of female orgasm, it’s crucial to remember that sexual experiences are highly individual. What brings one woman to climax may not work for another. Embracing this diversity and encouraging open exploration can lead to more satisfying sexual experiences for women and their partners.

Cultivating a Positive Sexual Self-Image

Developing a positive relationship with one’s own sexuality is fundamental to experiencing fulfilling orgasms. This involves:

• Accepting and appreciating one’s body
• Letting go of unrealistic expectations set by media or societal pressures
• Giving oneself permission to explore and enjoy sexual pleasure
• Communicating openly about sexual needs and desires
• Prioritizing sexual health and well-being

By fostering a healthy and positive attitude towards sexuality, women can create a strong foundation for orgasmic experiences and overall sexual satisfaction.

The Role of Partners in Supporting Female Pleasure

For women in partnered relationships, the support and understanding of their partners can significantly impact their ability to achieve orgasm. Partners can contribute to a more orgasmic experience by:

• Educating themselves about female anatomy and sexual response
• Being attentive and responsive to their partner’s needs and cues
• Creating a judgment-free space for sexual exploration
• Prioritizing foreplay and non-genital stimulation
• Being patient and understanding if orgasm doesn’t occur

By working together, couples can create a supportive and pleasurable sexual dynamic that enhances the potential for female orgasm.

Integrating Holistic Approaches to Sexual Wellness

Achieving satisfying orgasms is often part of a broader approach to sexual wellness. Integrating various aspects of health and well-being can contribute to a more fulfilling sexual experience:

• Regular exercise to improve blood flow and body confidence
• Stress-reduction techniques like meditation or yoga
• Maintaining a balanced diet to support hormonal health
• Getting adequate sleep to regulate mood and energy levels
• Practicing self-care and nurturing overall emotional well-being

By taking a holistic approach to sexual health, women can create an environment that is conducive to experiencing pleasure and orgasm.

The Importance of Lifelong Sexual Learning

Sexual preferences and responses can change throughout a woman’s lifetime. Embracing a mindset of lifelong sexual learning can help women adapt to these changes and continue to experience sexual fulfillment:

• Staying curious about one’s own body and sexual responses
• Being open to trying new techniques or forms of stimulation
• Adapting to physical changes that occur with age or life events (e.g., pregnancy, menopause)
• Seeking information from reputable sources on sexual health and pleasure
• Consulting with healthcare providers or sex therapists when facing challenges

By maintaining an attitude of openness and continuous learning, women can navigate the ever-changing landscape of their sexuality and continue to experience orgasmic pleasure throughout their lives.

The Female Climax, Orgasm, and Pleasure

How Women Achieve Orgasm

One of the ways women can experience orgasm is through a goal-oriented four-step process first described by the sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson decades ago.

1. Excitement In this state of desire or arousal, the woman initiates or agrees to sex, and as it commences she finds herself focusing mainly on sexual stimuli. Blood begins to engorge the clitoris, vagina, and nipples, and creates a full-body sexual blush. Heart rate and blood pressure increases. Testosterone and neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin are involved in these processes, says Dr. Ingber.

2. Plateau Sexual tension builds as a precursor to orgasm. The outer one-third of the vagina becomes particularly engorged with blood, creating what researchers refer to as the “orgasmic platform.” Focus on sexual stimuli drowns out all other sensations. Heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration continue to increase.

3. Orgasm A series of rhythmic contractions occur in the uterus, vagina, and pelvic floor muscles. The sexual tension caused by lovemaking or self-stimulation releases, and muscles throughout the body may contract. A feeling of warmth usually emanates from the pelvis and spreads throughout the entire body.

4. Resolution The body relaxes, with blood flowing away from the engorged sexual organs. Heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration return to normal.

RELATED: 7 Healthy Reasons to Have Sex Right Now

Different Types of Stimulation, Different Types of Orgasm

Women are blessed with bodies that are capable of experiencing orgasm in more ways than one.

Some researchers believe that there are as many as 12 types of female orgasms. The most common type is a “clitoral” orgasm, says Ingber.

RELATED:  Understanding the Male Climax 

Clitoral stimulation has been proved the surest route to orgasm. “I think that clitoral stimulation [produces] probably the closest analogue to male orgasm, where you get erectile tissue, there is release, and after release it is uncomfortable to continue,” says Steven R. Goldstein, MD, the director of gynecologic ultrasound and codirector of bone densitometry at New York University’s Langone Medical Center and a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the New York University School of Medicine.

RELATED: Deconstructing Sex Drive: What Your Libido Says About Your Health

Vaginal Stimulation, the G-Spot, and Intense Sexual Pleasure

But some women can also experience orgasm through vaginal stimulation. One group of researchers credit the G-spot, an area named and described by Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, a professor emerita at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey, and a past president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).

The G-spot is an area felt through the wall of the vagina, an inch or two behind the back of the pubic bone near the junction of the bladder and the urethra and made up of tissues of the clitoris, urethra, and the female prostate gland, says Dr. Whipple. Some researchers believe that when stimulated, the G-spot causes intense sexual pleasure in some women; others question whether women can feel such pleasure at this location at all.

RELATED: The Truth About 8 Masturbation Myths

Sensory Pathways, Stimulation, and Orgasm Generation

Women also have been able to have orgasms through stimulation of the breasts or other parts of the body, or through the use of sexual imagery without any touch at all. Researchers have even found a nerve pathway outside the spinal cord, through the sensory vagus nerve, that will lead a woman to experience orgasm through sensations transmitted directly to the brain. “There are many nerve pathways that are responsible for the experience of orgasm in women,” says Whipple.

RELATED: Yoga Enhances Sex and Sexual Health for Men and Women

The Female Orgasm: Problems Getting There

While there are physical problems that can keep a woman from experiencing orgasm, emotions can play a role, too. Some sex researchers say that anxiety and depression can prevent a woman from progressing along the sexual response cycle, says Ingber. Feelings of fear, guilt, distraction, or a loss of control can also affect orgasm. Similarly to men with erectile dysfunction, women can sometimes have problems achieving or maintaining adequate blood flow, says Ingber.

RELATED:  Sex Therapy: What Men and Women Should Know

Treatments and Therapies to Help Women Reach Orgasm

It is estimated that as many as a quarter of American women have problems experiencing orgasm.

Doctors and sex therapists use several types of therapies to help women overcome these blocks to orgasm. Directed masturbation, sex education, and behavioral therapy are some of the means a woman might want to investigate if she cannot reach climax. Women may also want to try using a vibrator to provide increased clitoral stimulation, or a dildo crafted to provide better stimulation of the G-spot.

RELATED: Acupuncture Helps Boost Your Sex Drive, Sex Life, and Pleasure

Interventions to Consider for Problems With Orgasm

If behavioral methods are not working and a woman is interested in other intervention, there are solutions better-researched for male erectile dysfunction that may help.

Ingber says that “for women having trouble with arousal, similar to men, Viagra (sildenafil) can be used,” he says. “Additionally, vacuum erection devices such as the Fiera can be used in order to improve libido and arousal. This applies gentle suction to the clitoris.”

RELATED: 10 Things Your Doctor Won’t Tell You About Hysterectomy

Medical Treatments for Women With Low Sexual Desire

For women, particularly postmenopausal women, who have little sexual desire, an off-label use of topical testosterone can be prescribed. And an FDA-approved therapy called Addyi (flibanserin) may be effective for low libido in women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), says Ingber.

Additional reporting by Dennis Thompson Jr.

5 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

“Quickies” certainly have their time and place, but couples who continuously skip foreplay are passing up a great way to get emotionally and physically warmed up for a romp. “Foreplay is crucial for good sex,” says Debra Herbenick, PhD, MPH, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington. “It’s not just an old wives’ tale that foreplay is something that people should spend more time doing.”

Read on to discover the physicial and emotional benefits of foreplay, plus how to incorporate more of it into your sexual routine.

The Benefits of Foreplay

Doing anything that’s sexually arousing can help a woman lubricate, which in turn may help a man get and maintain an erection. Dr. Herbenick says that when a man is having difficulty achieving climax, he may find it easier if he and his partner have engaged in foreplay before sex.

For women, foreplay can actually make sex more pleasurable. “When a woman’s body becomes aroused, the vaginal muscles pull the uterus up a bit, making more room in the vagina,” says Herbenick. This process, called vaginal tenting, creates more space, which makes sex more enjoyable. “If this doesn’t happen, sex may be uncomfortable for a woman,” notes Herbenick.

RELATED: 6 Surprising Sex Hazards

Foreplay can also help a couple feel closer and more intimate, which ultimately may lead both partners to feel more aroused, says Herbenick. Foreplay is really “about building an emotional connection and getting some excitement going,” she says.

How to Communicate About Foreplay

You can’t know what your partner likes and wants during foreplay if you don’t talk about it. “People don’t spend enough time just talking to each other when they’re not having sex,” says Herbenick. So ask your partner questions about how he or she wants to be touched, stroked, kissed, and caressed — but talk about it outside of the bedroom.

“While it’s helpful to get information about how your partner wants to be touched in the moment, it’s easier to have those conversations when you’re not about to have sex,” says Herbenick.

5 Ways to Include Foreplay in Your Sexual Routine

There is no good or bad method of foreplay, and you don’t have to spend hours cuddling, stroking, and kissing before you can move on to sex. A few minutes of foreplay may be all you need.

“Aim for at least 10 minutes to give your bodies enough time to warm up,” suggets Herbenick. What’s important is to “focus on kissing and stroking the stomach, inner thighs, and breasts before moving toward the genitals,” she notes.

To get your minds and bodies warmed up for sex, try these ways to incorporate foreplay into your routine:

1. Play a game. Consider purchasing sex games that offer tips and rules on what to do to each other.

2. Talk dirty. Say what you’re feeling, what you want your partner to do, and what you’re thinking.

3. Get close. Try different ways to touch and hold each other, such as dancing or showering together.

4. Use oils and flavored products. Give each other back, foot, or full body massages with an oil or lotion. Pour chocolate, whipped cream, or other tasty delights on your partner’s skin, and take your time licking it off.

5. Touch each other. Caress your partner’s face, run your fingers through the hair, and gently tickle the insides of the arms, the stomach, and the thighs. Rub against each other or lightly tickle — whatever feels good.

How to orgasm more easily during sex | Orgasm Advice

Sexual satisfaction is a key aspect of physical and emotional well-being, yet far fewer women than men report reaching orgasm regularly. Research by the Kinsey Institute shows that while gay and straight men climax in 85% of their sexual encounters, women having sex with women orgasm about 75% of the time. And for women having sex with men, the figure is just 63%. Women are more likely to orgasm through masturbation when alone, than with a partner.

Common issues

Dr Becky Spelman, a psychotherapist and couples counsellor at the Private Therapy Clinic, London, says difficulty reaching orgasm is a common issue for women.

“Inadequate levels of lubrication, an insensitive partner, or just plain old bad love-making techniques are a few of the many reasons for this,” she comments.

Hormonal fluctuations, health issues and the side-effects of common medications can also make sexual climax difficult to achieve. Claudine Domoney, a consultant gynaecologist at London’s Chelsea and Westminster Hospital, explains:

“Antidepressants and blood pressure medications can make orgasm more difficult because of the way they act on the brain and body. Conditions such as diabetic neuropathy and significant slipped disc problems can be an issue, as can previous operations that may affect the nerves in the pelvis, though this is rare. Gynaecological conditions can also have a potential impact.”

Menopausal changes can also be a factor, with women reporting they are unable to orgasm as easily, or that the nature of their orgasm has changed and become less intense.

“Using a small amount of testosterone can sometimes make a difference in menopause,” says Domoney. “Though there’s no licensed preparation of it for this use in the UK at the moment.”

Often though, difficulty reaching orgasm may have a psychological element. Sexual intimacy requires a degree of vulnerability and emotional risk which can sometimes block our ability to climax – we may not even be consciously aware of these feelings. Broader worries, depression, anxiety, fatigue and excessive alcohol consumption can also have an impact.

“How women perceive the sexual experience psychologically and emotionally can be just as important as what they are experiencing physically,” comments Domoney. “Often inability to orgasm can be due to a change in circumstance, feeling vulnerable and not feeling able to let go – for example, when things change in a relationship, or on meeting a new partner.”

Spelman adds that in our pornified culture, women often feel under pressure to perform.

“Women who can’t stop thinking about how they ‘have’ to have an orgasm may experience performance anxiety and find it very difficult to reach that elusive goal,” she says. “Others may have issues in their lives or in their pasts that have caused emotional distress to become associated with sex on some level, perhaps unconsciously.”

Tips to boost your chances

Get to know your body and mind

Have plenty of pleasurable fun by yourself, then transfer this knowledge to partnered sex.

Experiment with sex toys, use a pH-balanced, organic lubricant, and discover what stimulates your mind as well as your body, whether it’s erotic fiction, female-friendly porn, or exploring your own fantasies. Break out of the orgasm rut and try a different technique if what used to work for you no longer gets you there.

“Adding sex toys to the mix can help, provided that these are designed with women’s bodies and excitement in mind,” says Spelman. “It’s time to refocus sex away from the simplicity of penis-in-vagina sex and to look at the many other exciting possibilities that there are.”

Maximise clitoral stimulation

“Positions involving the woman on top give her greater control over her body and more freedom to choose how to move,” advises Spelman.

Using a small ‘bullet’ vibrator on the clitoris during intercourse may also boost your chances if your sexual position is not offering enough direct stimulation.

‘Edging’

This technique involves deliberately pausing as you edge towards orgasm, then continuing stimulation. The emphasis is on building pleasure and staying with the sensations, rather than focusing on the end result. You might pause for seconds, minutes, or even continue stimulation at intervals throughout the day. Orgasm may then be easier to reach as the intensity builds over time.

Get out of your head and stop trying!

“The best way to reach orgasm is to relax and take your eyes off the ‘prize’, says Spelman. “Taking the emphasis off the goal of orgasm can be the best way to get closer to having one.”

Reduce ‘performance’ anxiety by using mindfulness techniques to reduce mind chatter and focus instead on observing your breathing and bodily sensations. This shifts the emphasis from trying to being. If you get stuck in goal-oriented narrow focus and orgasm isn’t happening, shift into open focus to break out of ‘trying’ mode. You can do this by becoming aware of the space in the room and gently focusing your gaze on the middle distance.

Exchanging fantasies, ‘pillow talk’ and banter with your partner can also take the pressure off heading for orgasm.

How to talk to your partner

“The best way to talk about intimate matters and what we want in bed is to be positive,” advises Spelman. “Rather than saying, ‘Touching me in that way doesn’t do anything for me …’ focus on positive reinforcement: ‘It felt good when you did X, perhaps we could try more of that,’ or ‘I would love to feel your hands on me here, can we try …'”

It can be useful to show rather than tell – move your partner’s hand against your clitoral area and/or use a vibrator to demonstrate what works for you. If you suspect the ‘block’ is less about technique and more emotive, discuss it in a non-sexual context rather than in the heat of passion.

Where to seek help

“If you’ve never been orgasmic it may be a more deep-seated problem,” says Domoney. “But if you’ve been in a relationship for a while and can’t reach orgasm with your partner, whereas you can on your own through masturbation, then that may also be a reason to seek advice.”

Menopause and health problems with the potential to affect orgasm can also be reasons to see a medical expert. If inability to climax becomes a long-term issue, Domoney suggests seeing your GP who may refer you to see a sex therapist or a gynaecologist with expertise in sexual medicine: “A GP should be able to sort out whether it’s a psychological or physical issue and refer you to the best person.”

Why is it harder for people with vaginas to orgasm?

How come some girls don’t come at all? And guys always do. I don’t really understand. My sis said is becuz guys “are at their peak” .She says it takes a while for girls and they will start “coming” when they get a little older like 20 or 25. Please help i’m really confused!

People with vaginas may feel like they have an orgasm – aka cum or climax – less easily or less often than people with penises.

Many people with vaginas have trouble reaching orgasm through penis-in-vagina sex alone. Most of those people have an easier time with orgasm through having more variety in stimulation, like touching or rubbing of their clitoris, oral sex, vaginal sex, etc. So if you’re having trouble with orgasms, you may want to try different types of sexual stimulation to see what feels good for you. 

If you’re not sure what would feel good for you, masturbation is a great way to get to know your body. Once you know, you can communicate that to your partner to help sex feel good.

Keep in mind, everyone’s body responds differently, and every person has different preferences for how they like to be sexual with someone. That’s why communicating with your partner is very important. Our partners can’t read our minds, so it’s important to be clear about what feels good and what doesn’t, and what we do and don’t want to do.

You may find as you get older that you have an easier time having orgasms because you have more knowledge of what you like sexually, and because you’re more comfortable communicating with your partners about what you like and don’t like.

And people with penises don’t always have orgasms — it’s not uncommon for them to have trouble with orgasms, or getting or keeping an erection. Sexual pleasure has a lot to do with emotion and relaxation. It’s harder to enjoy sex or orgasm if you’re uncomfortable, self-conscious, or don’t feel quite right about what’s going on.

Learn more about orgasm and masturbation.

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orgasms

How to Orgasm Quickly: A Guide for Women

Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

When it comes to reaching climax, the sexes just aren’t hard-wired the same way. In fact, many women — about one out of three — have trouble reaching orgasm, period, when having sex with a partner.

There are multiple factors at play here, not the least of which being it takes the average man a mere three to five minutes to orgasm, while most women need at least 20. So just as she’s getting warmed up, he blows his load and leaves her in a pleasure lurch.

This disparity has created a frustrating average: women orgasm 62.9% of the time from intercourse with familiar partners, while men orgasm 85.1% of the time. But what if we could close that gap? What if women could master their below-the-belt domain and learn how to orgasm whenever they wanted to… and in as little as 60 seconds or less?

Just imagine what on-demand pleasure you’d have and what your partner could learn. And turns out, getting off in a minute or less is totally doable.

Now, no one here is advocating for women to put a stopwatch on their snatch. Not in the least. I’m 100% for women taking all the time they want and need to achieve pleasure — whether orgasm is the endgame or not. Sex should never be a race, and the Big O doesn’t have to be the finish line. But knowing your own body well enough to know how to get yourself off when you want to every single time? Well, we all deserve that. So here’s how it’s done.

First, become O-literate

Yes, it is definitely possible for most women to be able to get off in less than 60 seconds — but you have to understand how this stuff works, experts say.

Dr. Carol Queen, Good Vibrations’ staff sexologist, says orgasming in under a minute is contingent on three key factors: how easily orgasmic you are to begin with, how turned on you are when stimulation starts, and whether the stimulation is optimized to provoke orgasm in the first place.

“Orgasm is a reflex,” she says, “but it’s the culmination of a physical process that includes gradually building arousal. For some people, that will mean less gradual than for others, and someone who’s already very turned on either because they’ve been making out, doing something else that arouses them a lot (exhibitionism for exhibitionists, for example), or are WAY hot for their partner will start out much closer to orgasm than most people are when they begin having sex.”

Get the right tools for the job

As much as I like relaxed, partnered romps that yield waves of pleasure, logistics don’t always align. Thankfully there’s no need to swipe through a bunch of strangers when you’ve got a set of hands and an insane arsenal of new toys to support you.

“It’s not unheard of for a woman to be able to climax that fast with a vibrator,” Queen says. “A vibe is an efficient form of sexual stimulation for many, perhaps most, women, though even so, one minute will not be the norm.”

Maybe a one-minute orgasm hasn’t historically been the norm. But that may be about to change, as two new products — the Womanizer and the hi — were created on that exact premise. Sounds extreme, I know; and I was skeptical too… at first. Then I gave these things a whirl and changed my tune — and my time. But if you want to learn how to get off quick and don’t know where to start, either of these toys will transport you from start to finish line at Mach speed.

Womanizer/Oren Aks/Thrillist

The Womanizer is no joke

If you stumbled upon a Womanizer in a store, you would never know what powers it has. Its design isn’t the most appealing, with the toy bearing a strange cone shape not unlike a portable female urinal. But HOLY CRAP: The Womanizer rocked my world. Instead of providing super-strong, direct clitoral stimulation like the Magic Wand (my go-to for two decades), the Womanizer uses PleasureAir technology to tease the almighty clit via gentle vibration and suction. There is absolutely nothing on the market remotely like this orgasm-inducing beauty.

“I think it’s an incredibly unique sensation that I far prefer to traditional vibrators,” says Callie Little, resident sexpert at Nooky Box. “I’ve compared it as a gentle kiss versus the Magic Wand’s jackhammer-level power. It can probably get me to orgasm in about two minutes or so. I think if I was seriously turned on, I could maybe swing a minute. Maybe. But, you know, I enjoy taking my time. If I’m needing to bang one out fast and I’ve got five minutes max? I definitely reach for the Womanizer.”

the hi

The hi will do it to you without touching your skin

And then there’s the hi® massage technology, a massager that hit the market a hot second ago. Like the Womanizer, I was skeptical at first glance — how was this thing going to give me an orgasm by massaging the outside of my pelvis?

The device was invented by Dr. Steve McGough with the intent to relieve his wife’s post-emergency C-section pain. Designed to mimic a vigorous massage technique on the lower abdomen, it just so happens to also induce orgasm in record time.

When applied above the pubic bone, it releases a G-spot-like orgasm without ever touching skin. The record is 12 orgasms in 20 minutes (!!!!!), McGough tells me. It took me some time to find my sweet spot — my pleasure is very clit-stim-focused; and the idea of being fully clothed while coming threw me off. Still, the hi delivered a quickie on demand.

Get acquainted with your body and learn your technique

Starting out with high-quality toys like the Womanizer or the hi is the perfect way to practice and eventually figure out exactly what needs to happen to push you over the edge. Memorize the sensations the toys are giving you. Take note of the placement of the stimulators, everything. After you get yourself off a few times, mix things up. Use the toys at different times of day, during different moods, and even in rapid succession to see if you can produce multiple orgasms.

Once you’ve determined what goes where, for how long, and with how much pressure (and have figured out how to go from zero to 100 in 60 seconds flat), it’s time to do it manually. Because sure, your partner may dig the toys. But you knowing how to make this happen with your (or a partner’s) hands? Let’s just say it’s nice to be able to MacGyver an orgasm in any setting and with any tools or lack thereof.

Practice, practice, practice

To get things off to a strong start, you need two things: a high-quality lube, and a deep understanding of what gets you in the mood fast. This can be a favorite porno, a steamy sex scene from a novel, straight-up fantasizing… dealer’s choice. With your arsenal ready, work at recreating the sensations you got from your toys with your bare hands.

The clitoris is undoubtedly going to steal the spotlight for this exercise, as the sensory epicenter is your main line to orgasm — so you’d be wise to get good and acquainted with it. The nub sticking out at the top of your vulva is the head of your clit; while the G-spot (about an inch and a half inside your vagina, toward your belly button) is the back. Focus on both and you’re well on your way.

“Clitoral stimulation… is probably more likely to work than vaginal insertion,” Queen says, “solely because so many women are more easily orgasmic clitorally than vaginally. But someone who is this turned on and easily orgasmic may well be more vaginally orgasmic than the average gal. So there’s that.”

With that in mind, focus on G-spot stimulation while rubbing the clit. Check out different levels of pressure, different speeds, and rubbing against something (pillow, corner of your bed) while stimulating your G-spot. Experiment with being on your back, your belly, your side. It might take a few tries, it might take weeks, but I promise it will be the most fun kind of practice you’ve ever done. And once you perfect your technique, you can take it right to your partner. Now, the two of you can work together to ensure you never have to fake or otherwise miss out on another orgasm, ever again.

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As much as Seattle-based writer Charyn Pfeuffer likes a slow build-up, she’s not adverse to a super-fast orgasm. (Time and place!) Follow her on Twitter @charynpfeuffer.

5 Foolproof Ways To Make Your Woman Orgasm Multiple Times

Getting a woman to orgasm is not really an easy task. A man needs to know the right spot to ensure she gets an orgasm. And there are some women who do not even get an orgasm, however hard their partners try, which is quite unfortunate. If you are a man who cares about your girlfriend’s pleasure and satisfaction, then you should read this article. We will give you a list of 5 ways to make your girl orgasm not once but multiple times. ALSO READ Best sex positions for female orgasm: 6 positions for a guaranteed orgasm! Also Read – ATK Mohun Bagan Signs Amrinder Singh From Mumbai City FC

Also Read – Virat Kohli, Ajinkya Rahane, Jasprit Bumrah Sweat it Out in Gym Ahead of WTC Final | Watch Video

Foreplay for a long time

One of the best ways to get your woman to orgasm is by indulging in foreplay. Some men hardly indulge in any foreplay and they directly want to do intercourse. This is what most selfish men do. However if you cherish your girl’s pleasure equally, you have to invest some time in foreplay. Turn her on as much as possible. ALSO READ Sex Goals for 2017: 8 goals for a better and healthier sex life! Also Read – SSC GD Constable Exam 2021 Registration POSTPONED: Latest Update You Should Know

Be relaxed 

You and your girl need to be relaxed. You could just sit on the bed and talk something sexy before you get on to having sex. Set up the mood. You could also light scented candles in the room and dim the lights. Relax and breathe. Make her feel comfortable. Women get turned on when the mood set is right and they are not under any pressure.

Focus on spots that arouse her the most

If you really want her to orgasm multiple times then make sure you focus on all those spots that arouse her. By now we are sure you know of these weak spots. Usually a woman’s weak spots are her ears, neck, back and obviously the clitoris. So put our tongue and fingers to good use. ALSO READ We bet you didn’t know these 5 things about female orgasm!

Use lubrication

Use ample lubrication. Women get vaginal soreness often. So after she has orgasmed once, make sure you use lube so that the second time she is not dry down there and there is no pain. Lubes are the best things especially when you are going to have sex for a longer time. ALSO READ What women want in bed: 5 tips to give your woman the best sex of her life!

Take a break after the first orgasm

Once your girl has orgasmed give her a mini break. After a girl has achieved an orgasm, she is bound to feel a little drained and also out of energy. Orgasms lead to a surge in blood flow and thus a woman feels tired. Use this time to cuddle, give cute kisses and hugs. Just caress her softly and indulge in some romantic small talks. This will not kill the mood entirely and you two can be back to having sex within few minutes. ALSO READ These are the 5 hottest lesbian sex positions for an intense orgasm!

These are the 5 foolproof ways to make your girlfriend achieve an orgasm. A woman’s pleasure is as important as men. It might take some time for some women to achieve  an orgasm, however with these simple steps, it will get easier.

Found this story interesting? Like our Facebook page to read more such articles. Also, share your comments below. We would love to hear from you!

Why it exists and what women can do about it

In heterosexual relationships, women on average are having fewer orgasms than men — a problem that University of Florida professor Laurie Mintz, author of the book “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters — And How to Get It,” calls “the orgasm gap.”

According to a 2016 study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior that looked at over 52,500 adults in the U.S. — including those who are lesbian, gay, and bisexual — 95 percent of heterosexual men reported they usually or always orgasmed during sex, compared to 65 percent of heterosexual women, who were the least likely.

“The number-one reason for the orgasm gap — and it’s not the only one — is our cultural ignorance of the clitoris,” Mintz tells NBC News BETTER.

Anatomy of the clitoris

Picture a flower with closed petals. Within the flower is a nub that branches down into two bulbous legs.

This is the image feminist and artist Sophia Wallace conjures when she talks about the part of a woman’s body that experiences the most sexual pleasure. Not the vagina, she explains, but the vulva, and especially the external clitoris — the “nub” within the vulva which contains about 8,000 nerve endings.

“The bulbs of the clitoris surround the vagina, and that’s why — when the clitoris is engaged and aroused — penetration can feel amazing, but when it’s not aroused, it can feel really uncomfortable, or like nothing, because the sensation and pleasure comes from the clitoris, not the vagina,” Wallace says.

The clitoris is the only organ in the human body solely responsible for sexual pleasure. In Greek, it means “key.” According to Wallace, it’s usually seen as a small button-like organ within the vulva, but this, she says, is a misconception.

Sophia Wallace with her artwork, Άδάμας (unconquerable).Courtesy of Sophia Wallace

“The clitoris is not this little nub on the outside of the vulva,” she says, “but is actually this large internal organ comprised of erectile tissue that’s similar in scale to the penis.”

Wallace has spent the last seven years illuminating the importance of the clitoris through her project “Cliteracy,” currently on display at Project for Empty Space in Newark, NJ, and her mixed-media project “Cliteracy, 100 Natural Laws.”

The artist says most people are shocked when they see what the clitoris actually looks like.

“They never know the true anatomy,” says Wallace, whose 2015 TEDx Talk on the topic received nearly 120,000 views to date. “They never know anything about it. That tells me there’s so much more work that needs to be done.”

Related

“Inequality in the bedroom”

Mintz, who teaches the psychology of human sexuality to hundreds of college students every year, blames what she calls “inequality in the bedroom” on depictions of “media images of sex,” especially in pornography, and a “cultural over-privileging of male sexuality and a devaluing of female sexuality.”

She says most women need direct clitoral stimulation — such as oral sex and touching — to orgasm, but this is rarely depicted.

“Instead,” she says, “what we see is women having these fast and fabulous orgasms from intercourse alone.”

According to a 2015 internet-based survey published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, which received responses from over 1,000 U.S. women, 36 percent reported that clitoral stimulation helped them orgasm during intercourse, whereas slightly more than 18 percent reported they orgasmed from intercourse alone.

Women are also more likely to orgasm if they receive oral sex (in addition to other activities like deep kissing and intercourse), according to the Archives of Sexual Behavior study, but some studies show they are less likely to receive oral sex than they are to give it.

Related

Dispelling the “g-spot”

At the center of the myth that women should orgasm from intercourse alone is what’s popularly known as the “g spot” — often depicted as a mysterious spot on the inside of the vagina, according to Mintz.

She says the “g spot” is real, but misunderstood.

“It’s an area in the upper right side of the vagina, and it’s an area which includes a lot of structures, including the legs of the clitoris, including the female prostate glands, including the wall of the vagina,” says Mintz.

Mintz says the external clitoris is the real center of female sexual pleasure, but she doesn’t dismiss the “g spot” — she says some women indeed find it pleasurable.

“What I’m trying to fight against is the pervasive myth that orgasms from vaginal penetration — including the ‘g spot’ — are better, more ideal, the right way …” says Mintz, “when in fact the vast majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.”

Women need to be aroused for sex

Like the penis, the clitoris becomes erect during arousal. “Women need to be aroused prior to penetration, according to Mintz — otherwise, the vagina doesn’t lubricate, and the cervix doesn’t pull back out of the way of the penis.”

“The overwhelming majority of women find that incredibly painful,” she says.

Every woman’s body is different when it comes to arousal, Mintz says, but the more time couples spend kissing, caressing, and engaging in oral sex, the more aroused she’s likely to be.

The most important thing is that women communicate to their partners what they like and don’t like, says Mintz, and that their partners are receptive to this.

“We need to be communicating what we need and feeling entitled to communicate that,” says Mintz.

Intercourse usually doesn’t last that long, and that’s ok

For the average heterosexual couple, penetration lasts 3-5 minutes, according to Mintz. But she says media depictions of sex, particularly in pornography, have led many to think it should last a lot longer.

“We have all these men calling into sex therapists worried that they’re not lasting long enough,” she says.

In some ways the male body, like the female body, is also misunderstood, according to Sarah Byrden, a sex educator and speaker.

The penis, she explains, moves in “rhythms and tides.”

“It is not designed to be consistently erect as it is depicted in all kinds of media — able to be erect inordinate amounts of time — and that is where huge performance pressure comes,” Byrden says.

Related

For greater pleasure, mix things up

Both women and men enjoy greater pleasure when they receive a mix of acts, whether through oral sex or touching, before, during, and after penetration, according to Mintz.

“Forget this myth of orgasming from the same act at the same time,” says Mintz. “Adopt a different way of doing sex.”

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90,000 How to bring a girl to orgasm

3 main myths about sex

Penis is the main tool for satisfying a woman

You probably used to think that the bigger the penis, the better, and the longer you hold out, the more pleasure she will get. These are all lies. And here’s the truth.

Researchers asked hundreds of women a direct question about what matters most to them during intercourse, and none of the participants mentioned penis size. Instead, women said they were crazy about men who care about their pleasure.

Good sex ends with simultaneous orgasm

This is how they show in the movies: a man energetically enters a woman, and – yes, yes, more! – they both have a quick and fabulous orgasm. In fact, simultaneous orgasms are a myth.

To bring your partner to orgasm, you must focus on her sensations, and to experience it yourself – completely immerse yourself in yours. As you can imagine, it is difficult to combine it. Your partner can experience pleasure both before you and after.And this is much more convenient than achieving simultaneous discharge.

To achieve orgasm, women need intercourse

According to the most optimistic estimates, only 15% of women can have an orgasm as a result of intercourse. The other 85% need clitoral stimulation.

Data from anonymous surveys conducted by the author of the course on female sexuality Lori Mintz among women over the past few years

The clitoris is the key to female orgasm. This proves once again the fact that only 1.5% of women masturbate with an object in the vagina.Another 12% do the same by touching their clitoris at the same time. And the rest – a whopping 86.5% – enjoy purely through clitoral stimulation. So the main thing to remember is that frictions lead you to orgasm, but not your partner. Her point of pleasure is the clitoris.

How to do everything correctly

With the myths sorted out, let’s get to the point. You have a date, and you really want the girl to remember it for the rest of her life. You will have to go through three stages: how to prepare, lay out in bed, and then consolidate the impression.Let’s start with the first one.

Prepare

Find out where the clitoris is

A recent study showed that 25% of men cannot find this organ on the diagram. Check yourself and take a closer look at female physiology.

Illustration from the book “How a Woman Wants”

If the pictures do not inspire you, you can watch a video about female masturbation, only not from porn, but realistic. Female sexuality expert Lori Mintz recommends watching any (or all) of the 50+ instructional videos on OMGYes.com. In them you will see 12 ways of clitoral masturbation.

Agree to have sex

It often happens that one partner wants to have sex and the other wants to prepare for an exam, work, watch TV, or just go to bed early. Agree on a sexual adventure in advance – then the girl will be ready for what awaits her, and it will be easier for you to achieve your goal.

Get rid of stress

For 80–90% of people (both women and men), stress reduces interest, and in almost all it reduces the ability to enjoy.Even among those 10–20% of us who, in a state of nervous tension, have an increased interest in sex.

If your partner works from morning till night, pulls a mortgage and three children, experiences constant stress, you can forget about orgasm. Therefore, before moving on to bed activities, take 20 minutes or even an hour to relax in a comfortable environment.

Ask the girl what helps her recover. A bath, a walk, sports, cooking, heart-to-heart conversations, a glass of wine – whatever, as long as it works.

Create a context

Feminine pleasure is closely related to context – external circumstances and internal state. What exactly tunes a woman to sex depends on herself. But usually the ideal context for sex = low stress + partner admiration + erotic setting. So candles, music and your irresistible appearance will not be superfluous.

Get down to business

Allocate 20 minutes to warm up

Modern sex scenarios focus mainly on what you and your partner do between your legs, but most women take about 20 minutes to warm up (kissing , caress).

Ladies need time to be aroused and develop enough lubrication to make the touch of the genitals pleasant.

Here are some ways to warm up:

• Kiss each other on the lips – in every possible way (softly, persistently, with a tongue, without it).
• Kiss each other on the neck, ears and other parts of the face, while remaining dressed.
• Iron and fondle each other through clothing.
• Roll over the bed while wearing your clothes.
• Undress yourself or undress each other.
• Iron, kiss and caress your partner’s breasts.
• Play with her nipples by rolling them gently between your toes, sucking, pulling or pinching if it turns her on.
• Iron and kiss each other’s naked bodies without stopping anywhere for a long time. Many women say they like it when their partner teases them for a while, touching their genitals, and then starting to fondle them again in other places.

You can also take a shower or a bath together, laugh, joke and fool around.Show your imagination!

Treat her clitoris

When both of you are warm enough, move on to the main course – clitoral stimulation. Do this as much as necessary. In general, women need 15 to 45 minutes to orgasm. Interesting statistic: If you spend 20 minutes or more on clitoral stimulation, about 92% of your partners will have an orgasm.

Tip: Start by gently touching her clitoris and let her tell you when you can increase the pressure.The clitoris is a very delicate organ, so it is better when she says “More” rather than “Oops!”

Find out what she likes

Nerves are located differently in women. Therefore, there is no universal recipe for pleasure: everyone likes their own kind of touch.

To complicate matters even more, we add that the stimulation required for a woman to orgasm may vary at different times (for example, depending on the phase of the menstrual cycle). So only one thing will help bring a woman to discharge – the desire to listen to her and hear.

How do you know what a woman wants today? Here are three ways:

• Just ask. Conversations during sex can be very short, but they can make a big difference in the situation. For example, you say, “Tell me what you like,” or “I want you to tell me if this is right for you,” or “I want to please you. Show that you are pleased. ”
• Let her fingers speak. Place your hand over your partner’s hand, signaling her that you want her to show how she likes to be touched.When she does, follow her instructions (where, with what force, how exactly).
• Listen. Rapid breathing, increasing groans and requests to continue usually tell you that you are heading in the right direction. But if the girl does not show emotions, most likely something is wrong, but she is embarrassed to say about it. In this case, go back to methods 1 and 2.

Experience an orgasm

You can first bring your partner to orgasm by stimulating the clitoris, and then go on to sexual intercourse and get your portion of pleasure, or vice versa.Do not strive to experience an orgasm at the same time – remember that this is a myth. Researchers even believe that it is undesirable for partners to achieve relaxation in one moment, since this takes away the pleasure of watching and feeling the partner’s orgasm.

Enjoy the pleasant aftertaste

Talk after sex

Many couples find it helpful to “process the information” right after sex. This will help make it better next time. Ask the girl what she liked the most and what you can do better next time.Just do not make claims: if there are serious problems, it is better to discuss them outside the bedroom doors.

Stay close

After sex, many women want to prolong intimacy: cuddle, chat or just fall asleep together. What you should definitely not do is turn your back to your partner or immediately call a taxi.

Stay close and be attentive. Remember that caring for women is far more exciting than penis size and sophistication in love affairs.

The article was prepared based on the materials of books:

• “The Point of Pleasure”, Lori Mintz – a journey into the world of female orgasm, debunking the biggest lie about sex.
• “How a Woman Wants”, Emily Nagoski – Scientific answers to questions about the female body and sexuality.

How to properly bring a woman to orgasm

This is not an easy question. Unlike men, the mechanism for triggering orgasm in a woman’s body is very, very complex.It includes not only the mechanical part (rubbed – got the result), but also the emotional and even aesthetic. To properly bring to orgasm, you have to work hard. No wonder a significant number of the fair sex consider the orgasm itself to be something like an urban legend.

Are you ready to convince the crowds of dissatisfied women? And do you need it? Everyone will have to answer this question on their own. And there is nothing seditious about a negative answer.Our world is rapidly ceasing to be patriarchal, everyone talks about equality. And if in order to achieve a result, the parties need to make a different amount of effort, well, maybe one of them is not at all shameful to cheat.

Foreplay

So, preparatory procedures. That in which a man does not feel the need at all, and if he suddenly receives foreplay, then only to the extent to achieve an erection. Not so in a complex and confusing female world.

The main erogenous points of your partner should not be ignored. And this is by no means just the chest and vaginal area. Actually, this is where you need to go in the second stage, immediately preceding penetration. And you can bring a woman to orgasm without vaginal contact.

Earlobes, hollow under the knee, tailbone, neck … There is simply no universal map. You will have to find each point on your own, having carried out difficult and, as a rule, rather lengthy surveys.It sometimes takes a year or two of constant practice to bring a wife to orgasm.

Special technicians

Do not look for universal answers to the question of how to bring a woman to orgasm. The most popular advice will be extremely vague: attentiveness, empathy, tenderness, creating a romantic atmosphere and closing the mortgage issue. As soon as you see a literally numbered list of activities somewhere, know that you are being deceived. The authors of these tips most likely know little about the female orgasm.

The main principle that you need to remember when establishing harmony in sexual life comes down to the knowledge of female physiology. For many mature and experienced men, it becomes a discovery that the energy of frictions, the size of the male genital organ and the duration of the act have nothing to do with the intensity of orgiastic experience.

The fact is that penetration itself stimulates a small part of the sensitive receptors of the female body.The main nerve endings are not concentrated in the depths of the vagina, but in the clitoris. This relatively small process is located at the top of the vagina. It is a detonator that triggers the most acute spasmodic contractions.

Direct stimulation of the clitoris is significantly more effective than penetration of an arbitrarily large penis. That is why the various bridge techniques that involve simultaneous penetration and finger stimulation are so popular.

An amazing discovery: from the point of view of physiologists, the most effective pose can be confidently called the classic one. Yes, yes, for a woman, it is she who is optimal. The missionary position may seem too boring to the jaded egoist, but it will allow you to optimally combine penetration with the massive stimulation of the clitoris, which is carried out by the partner’s pubis in the process of frictions.

Common myths

The two most trashy and most common myths concern the size of the penis in men and the duration of the act.The bigger, the better! And even longer. Everything, as male chimpanzees love. Forget both! These are statements that are not based on anything at all. The best way to get a girl to orgasm is through education and practice. Therefore: read our website and implement the best of our advice. We promise: everything will work out.

90,000 7 Proven Steps to Success

Playboy18 +

Simple tips are worth their weight in gold.

Maria Minaeva

Still from the movie “Amelie”

Many men believe that one of the goals of lovemaking is to bring their wife or girlfriend to orgasm.Some even use an expression like “giving” a woman a tremendous orgasm. But an orgasm is not something that someone “gives”.

In fact, orgasms are like laughter. Comedians may be funny, but they don’t “make” us laugh. We start laughing ourselves when the conditions seem right to us. Therefore, instead of “giving” the girl an orgasm, you better focus on what exactly allows her to get it.

Below are some helpful tips to increase the chances of your girlfriend screaming in pleasure.

What you need to know about the female orgasm?

In movies and porn, women always have orgasms during intercourse. However, alas, this does not correspond to reality. In fact, according to data reported in Psychology Today, only about a quarter of girls have consistent orgasms during intercourse.

This is partly due to the fact that everyone needs an individual approach to achieve orgasm. For example, some girls achieve peak pleasure more easily during cunnilingus or through direct finger stimulation of the clitoris, while others prefer vaginal sex.In addition, many people have psychological or physical barriers, especially if they have had negative sexual experiences in the past, are unsure of themselves, or are afraid of something.

A survey conducted by Cosmopolitan magazine revealed that many women (67% at once) imitate orgasm, and although they are guided by good intentions, this does not promote mutual understanding between partners and reinforces unrealistic expectations of men.

This is evidenced by the fact that at once 85 percent of heterosexual men who participated in a large-scale study of Indiana University said that their partner had an orgasm the last time they had sex, but only 64 percent of women report that it really was So.

Interestingly, in the above-mentioned Cosmopolitan poll, exactly half of the readers stated that “90,189 almost 90,190 have reached orgasm,” which suggests that by armed with a few tricks, you will increase your girlfriend’s chances of going from “almost” to full bliss.

1Stimulate her clit

Good old vaginal sex is certainly good, but not every girl can be brought to orgasm with it. Studies have shown that it is easier for a woman to climax during penetration if the head of the clitoris is less than 2.5 centimeters from the opening of the vagina (the further it gets, the harder it gets).

At the same time, three quarters of women need direct stimulation of the head of the clitoris, and again we give the figures from the survey “Cosmopolitan”: 38% of the participants said that they could not reach orgasm due to insufficient stimulation of the clitoris, and another 30% said the wrong type of stimulation. By the way, clitoris stimulation is the key to success if you are interested in how to bring your wife to a jet orgasm.

90,000 People keep asking Google how to get a woman to orgasm

Image from ‘When Harry Met Sally’ from Castle Rock Entertainment

At the end of September, condom company Durex released of the most frequently Google sex questions .Many of them have direct answers. (No, you can’t get rid of herpes. “Tripper” is gonorrhea.) Other answers (to the question “how long does sex last”) vary widely.

But perhaps the most important of the googled questions about sex is, “How do you get a woman to orgasm?” Chances are, if you’re looking for the answer, you need something completely safe, versatile — the good old-fashioned step-by-step guide to pleasing a woman. Unfortunately, I have to deliver shocking news: every woman is different and everyone responds to different stimuli.

Some lucky women may orgasm with minimal effort, while others may need to use toys such as vibrators or dildos to do the job. Some may have enough of traditional intercourse, while others have certain fetishes or kinks that turn them on and bring them to orgasm. Many women require stimulation of the clitoris (the sensitive erectile tissue located above the vagina), while others have a more erogenous G-spot (located several inches deep in the vagina on the front of the vaginal wall – another of the most frequently googled questions about sex) …Some women are transgender and have no vagina at all, and some women have disabilities or medical conditions that require an approach that is completely different from what can be seen in traditional depictions of sexuality. In short, it can be scary. Therefore, we turned to several experts.

“First things first, I would start with your relationship with your partner’s satisfaction,” says Vanessa Marin, sexologist and creator of Finishing School , an online course for women to help them achieve orgasm.- We have myths according to which female orgasms are very difficult, mysterious and difficult, and many of the women I work with tell me that they do not want to burden their partners with this. They feel ashamed or guilty. ” Telling your partner that it is important for you to be pleased can help them feel calmer and make it easier for them to communicate their needs to you.

Sex is easy to take away from the fun by treating it like it’s a winnable game (although sometimes it’s hot too).“You don’t have to physically focus on getting her to orgasm enough to put pressure on her,” says Marin. She very often hears about this problem from women who have intercourse with heterosexual men. – A lot of my clients tell me: “I’m with a man who really goes out of his way, wanting to bring me to orgasm, and at the same time it seems that he wants to do it to make it more pleasant for him and he feels as if he achieved something, and not because he really does not give a damn about my experiences. “This is not good, and it is not at all sexy. If you instead relax a little and see sex as a pleasurable activity that you can engage with the other person (or people), everyone will be much more enjoyable.

It might seem like the next step is being checked out as it can be found in almost all relationship advice columns, but that’s just because it is necessary. You need to communicate with your partner.

“It seems to us that if sex is good, then it should be completely wordless, that everything happens spontaneously, naturally and ideally,” says Marin.But this is not the case. Talking to your partner doesn’t have to be ineffective, formal, or overly complicated. As Marin explains, he can even be downright sexy. “Ask your partner:” What do you like? ” or: “What can I do for you?” She says.

Regular communication with your partner during sex (but not too much!) Is also a good way to ensure his enthusiastic consent – it is, as we know, necessary for absolutely any sexual activity, but it is good to receive regular reminders as well.And don’t be afraid to express your own desires as well. It should be fun for you too!

Of course, there is a possibility that your partner may not be able to tell right away where she ends up, perhaps because she was not given the opportunity to explore this part of herself well. Now is the perfect time to fix this. The best way to get better at sex? Practice. Break away with your partner as often and as you like so that you can get to know and come to terms with each other’s bodies.There are a million resources out there to help people determine where they end up. If you can afford it, check out the interactive educational website Omg Yes , which is full of tips and techniques from real women about what they enjoy.

If you want to learn, Jackie Rednour-Brookman, executive vice president of women-friendly retail chain Good Vibrations , recommends Lynn Comella’s book Vibrator Nation (Vibrator Country) as well as Online guides to cunnilingus and vibrators from Good Vibrations.”Vaginal insertion can be adorable, but most women don’t get an orgasm solely from it,” says Carol Queen, PhD, resident sexologist at Good Vibrations and author of THE Sex & Pleasure Book . … “Vibration is a very effective source of clitoral stimulation, but if the clitoris is exposed to vibration and seems to be annoying, choose a softer vibration or temporarily remove the vibrator and simulate in other ways until you are ready for it.”

First of all, be patient, both with your partner and with yourself. You may not blow each other’s roof off right away, but it just gives you a reason to keep trying. Sex should be enjoyable, so relax, take a deep breath, and go. We are rooting for you.

Follow Anna Fitzpatrick on Twitter.

How to Bring a Girl to Orgasm or everything about female orgasm

Foreplay is incredibly important for a woman. Every woman will tell you that orgasm and erotic mood begins first in the head, and only then responds in the body.

Women are by nature very emotional and that is why it is important for her to first experience certain emotions mentally, and only then feel through the body.

There are certain zones in our brain that are responsible for sexual pleasure. There are many studies that you have probably come across.

When scientists in the laboratory connected mice to the brain in the pleasure zones – electrodes and brought out a button, which, when pressed, sent electronic impulses through these electrodes to the brain and the mice experienced an orgasm.So these mice pressed the button until they died of orgasmic exhaustion. These studies prove that even without stimulating the erogenous zones in the body, the brain itself is capable of delivering sexual release.

Therefore, a life hack for men, where to start a love affair – before you go on a date to your woman or return home just write a few SMS about how you want her. It is possible with details, or call and tell in a sexy voice what you will do with her today.Give her a reason to prepare her mind. Let him dream up. And while you come to her – she will already be in anticipation and ready on an emotional and bodily level for intimacy.

And when you are already near her, play with her feelings before taking off her clothes.

There are several erogenous zones that will make her very aroused while she is wearing clothes:

• Stroke her neck along the spine.
• Grab her hair gently but firmly.But the hair should be taken precisely at the roots of the hair, right next to the scalp itself, then it will be exciting.
• Hug her around the waist. In the lumbar region, where she has dimples on her back, it is a very sensitive area and very erotic.

And if you give her a small, even 5 minute massage of the feet , then she will simply float like ice cream in hot weather. This is still while she is wearing her clothes.

And remember her lips. Soft and sensual kisses with lip biting will explode her sexual desire by another 200%. After all this, she herself will throw herself at you and tear your clothes off.

And if you have already taken off her clothes, then by all means, before penetration – give her an erotic massage of her legs, back, buttocks, breasts . Believe me, you will reveal with all this in her such facets of sexuality that she herself did not know about before.

How to quickly bring a girl to orgasm: jet and vaginal

A woman’s body contains many erogenous zones, the stimulation of which will allow you to achieve a strong orgasm during sex.Any man wants to be an ideal sexual partner, therefore he is looking for new ways to satisfy a woman and give maximum pleasure.
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G-spot, stimulation of which leads to jet orgasm.

Having learned the basic oral techniques and all sensitive areas on the female body, you can easily become one. Learn the basic rules and secrets to help you bring a woman to a strong orgasm.

How to bring a girl to a jet orgasm

Female and male organisms are arranged in different ways.If it is practically not difficult to arouse a man, then the situation with a woman is much more complicated. Any little thing can affect her condition and prevent her from relaxing. There are several types of orgasm: vaginal, clitoral, jet. It is the features of the latter that we want to discuss now.

Jet orgasm is considered the most difficult to achieve . Outwardly, it looks almost like ejaculating a member in the form of a strong jet. When squirting, up to 60 milliliters of fluid are released.If it occurs unexpectedly, it can be embarrassing for both partners, since the clear liquid is easily confused with urine.

To bring a woman to a jet orgasm, you need:

• Intimate environment . The girl should relax as much as possible, so light candles, turn on slow music, prepare aromatic oils, etc.
• Napkins or a towel. Prepare them so that in case of a positive result, keep the bed from getting wet and use them.
• Lubricant. Provides unobstructed penetration into the vagina.
• Foreplay. Before you bring your partner to squirt, you need to warm her up with your fingers, say gentle words, kiss and do an erotic massage.

Ejaculation occurs due to stimulation of the G-spot, which is located in the vagina on the anterior wall. This point is an accumulation of nerve endings, and its stimulation gives a strong jet orgasm.The girl should lie on her back and spread her legs wide. You can also lean on your knees and elbows.

Gently insert two fingers (middle and index) into the vagina with the palm facing up. Now bend your fingers a little towards the hand and press on the inner wall.

In this case, you can use your thumb to stimulate the outer wall, and the other hand to stimulate the clitoris. Listen to the feelings of a woman – some love sensual unhurried penetrations, others go crazy with sharp and quick movements.Remember not to stop or slow down – no matter how hard it is for you, keep the intensity and don’t slow down.

Doggy-style pose is one of the most effective for quick orgasm.

When the squirt occurs, a clear liquid will come out of the urethra in a strong stream, and the girl will feel strong waves throughout her body. The substance is secreted from the Skene’s glands, which are located next to the urethra.

How to quickly bring a girl to orgasm

According to statistics, about 25 percent of the fair sex have never experienced an orgasm during sex, while another 25 percent of women fake it.There are tons of ways to help you quickly give your girlfriend the pleasure you want.

1. It’s important to start with foreplay every time. Foreplay will help your lady to forget about all worries or their own complexes, relax and enjoy. Caress and kiss her until you feel the vagina is wet.
2. Try oral sex, which is considered one of the most effective ways to satisfy a girl quickly.For some, cunnilingus is the only possible way. Walk slowly along the entire body and move to the intimate area. First, lick her external genitals, then smoothly go deeper, penetrating inside with your tongue. Bite lightly on the labia, suck on the clitoris, and use your tongue in circular motions.
3. You can combine oral sex with finger stimulation. Fold your middle and index fingers together, lick the clitoris and slowly insert them into the vagina.You can use your other hand to caress your body, such as your inner thighs or your chest. Listen to her moans – whether she likes your actions.
4. If you want to give a girl a strong and vivid experience, take the risk of trying G-spot stimulation. Start with clitoral stimulation and move inside the vagina. Take a position with your fingers at 11 o’clock, and you will feel a small bump. It is this place that is called point G.
5. Stimulate the point with quick and even slightly sharp movements, press it like a button. Continue at the same intensity until a burst of liquid occurs.

Some women find it difficult to get an orgasm during vaginal sex.

Experts identify 3 popular poses, try them and the result will be provided!

• Rider. Lie on your back, the woman should sit on top and wrap her legs around you. Help her pick up the pace and correct her movements. In this position, you will be able to hold out much longer.You can also change the position slightly so that the woman sits on the penis with her back to you.
• Doggy Style. A woman is kneeling in front of you, you stand behind. The undisputed advantage of the position is the direct stimulation of the G-spot and good intensity. You can also caress her clitoris with your hand along the way.
• Bridge. Begin intercourse with a standard missionary position, then kneel down and lift the girl’s pelvis. This pose also directly stimulates the G-spot.

How to bring a girl to orgasm with your fingers

A member is not the only tool for a woman to reach an orgasm. The use of hands by a guy during sex usually occurs during foreplay. The ability to excite and satisfy your partner with gentle hand movements is very important.

Finger stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot.

Before starting the act, make sure the girl is horny enough. If there is no natural lubrication, inserting fingers into the vagina is meaningless.It is also important to follow the rules of hygiene by washing your hands with soap and water before sex. Trim your nails to avoid unpleasant sensations and scratches on the woman. Most often, orgasm is achieved by such movements: horizontal, vertical, circular. Do not forget to caress the girl, kiss and massage the clitoris.

1. Caressing the clitoris and vagina. A full orgasm is possible when you place your palm on your pubis and use your thumb to gently massage the clitoris. Simultaneously with the second hand, make forward movements, gradually increasing the tempo.Thus, your home can achieve a double orgasm – vaginal and clitoral.
2. Caress G. Not every man decides to experiment, because very few women have felt the power of orgasm from stimulating the G spot in their lives. Put your girlfriend in a comfortable position, slightly spread her legs and give oral sex. After that, extend your index and middle fingers, insert into the vagina and bend. As soon as you find a small bump and make a forward motion.
3. Vaginal and anal sex. If you are in the most trusting relationship with a woman, add variety to your sex life. You will need to use both hands: start stimulating the clitoris with one, the thumb of the other hand into the vagina, and the index finger into the anus. Move forward until your girlfriend feels a strong surge of orgasm.

How to bring a girl to orgasm with the tongue

An experienced lover is the man who thinks in bed not only about himself.Many do not resort to oral sex, as they consider them insignificant in terms of achieving orgasm.

This is all prejudice! It is after a blowjob or cunnilingus that you can truly trust your partner and get an unforgettable orgasm. Here are the general rules that any man who decides on oral sex should take into account:

1. Caress the clitoris with the entire length of the tongue , not just the tip. Combine slow and heavy movements, lick in any direction.
2. In addition to the clitoris, there are other erogenous zones that should not be forgotten 90 180 s. Many people like it when a man licks the labia and even sticks his tongue into the vagina.
3. Use your lips as well as your tongue. Suck, nibble and lick. If you get tired, you can help yourself with your fingers.
4. It is important to ask your partner if she wants oral sex. Some girls are very shy, so they can protest and just get scared.
5. You can understand when you approach orgasm by the moans of the lady . Very often, after cunnilingus, a jet orgasm occurs – do not be surprised if this happens.

You can do cunnilingus not only in a standard position, but also in more sensitive positions:

• A woman sits on your face – you will feel inviting warmth and can quickly bring her to ecstasy.
• She lies on her side with one leg lifted up.
• In position 69, you can please each other with oral sex and merge into a single whole.

How to bring a girl to orgasm with a massage

Most of the stronger sex are fixated on their genitals and their size. However, you are very much mistaken if you believe that success in bed depends on a large penis.

You have already received answers to many questions, learned that the use of hands and tongue is a powerful tool.An equally interesting way is erotic massage.

Preparation for massage includes:

1. Study of erogenous zones on the female body.
2. Create the right atmosphere to help your partner relax.
3. Aromatic oils and massage creams. Remember that they are not recommended for vaginal penetration.

Start the procedure from afar. Massage your arms or legs.Sexologists say that the most powerful erogenous zones are located between the toes. Move to the breast, stroking it gently until the nipples are firm. Smoothly guide your hands to the intimate area, stroke the pubis and “accidentally” touch the clitoris. After a few minutes, vaginal caresses can be performed.

Since there are a lot of nerve endings in the clitoris, treat it carefully and carefully. Exhausted from your caresses, a woman may want penis penetration.You can agree, but otherwise her orgasm will be no less vivid.

Ways to bring a girl to orgasm

Until recently, you thought that there are two indisputable points, the impact on which will make your sex partner experience ecstasy – the G-spot and the clitoris. However, researchers from Turkey have found that there are 4 more zones that are important to know.

Exercising your muscles will result in greater pleasure. They point out that not every woman has every erogenous zone active, but why not check, right?

Point A

Such an erogenous zone, according to statistics, is observed in 11 percent of girls.Insert two fingers into the vagina and slide along the front wall until you feel the cervix. There you will find point A. Once you find the point, apply pressure, move your fingers back and forth, in a circle. If you feel a small lump with a spongy surface, move further 2-3 centimeters, as you stimulate point G.

Point O

The sensitive area occurs in 8 percent of women. So, we told how to find point G. Once you do this, touch the opposite wall and move inward.Here is the O point, which can replace the sensations of anal sex. If your girlfriend is not ready to let you into the ass, this point, due to its close location with the walls of the anus and a large accumulation of nerve endings, will give a lot of pleasure.

Cervix

The zone is erogenous in 7 percent of girls. The cervix is ​​at a depth of 9-11.5 centimeters, but during arousal it “goes” even further. If nature has endowed you with large sizes, you can reach this area.On the 13-16th day of ovulation, stimulation of the cervix will be especially pleasant for your partner.

Pelvic muscles

More than 12 percent of women enjoy their action. Studies have shown that girls with strong muscles tend to orgasm faster (and much more often!). If the muscles are toned, they will contract non-stop and help relieve tension. Use vaginal balls – they not only strengthen the muscles, but they are very arousing.

How to bring a woman to orgasm

Everyone knows that women are much more sensitive than men.But to please a man is easier than a girl. This is because women need sophisticated caresses, exquisite gentle techniques.

According to scientific sources, many women have never reached orgasm. But a woman who does not suffer from frigidity, as a rule, is able to achieve orgasm. The challenge for men is to master the skills that will help deliver it.

Female clitoral orgasm

You can bring your partner to a clitoral orgasm by stimulating her clitoris.The clitoris is the most sensitive organ and any careless touch can cause pain. Pay attention to your partner’s erogenous zones. Prepare her for clitoral stimulation by caressing and kissing her lips and neck. Don’t forget about alluring breasts and captivating hips. All this will contribute to doubling the sensations of a woman from orgasm.

Stimulates the clitoris with gentle circular motions or lightly stroking gentle fingertips. Place your middle and index fingers together, and then start running them in circles around your clitoris.Stimulation should be done at an average pace. The head of the clitoris is highly sensitive, direct contact with some women can be painful, while others can be exquisite. Therefore, during manual stimulation, it is necessary to be attentive to the feelings of the partner.

Oral stimulation of the clitoris is also encouraged. Only with cunnilingus should you pay attention to other parts of the genitals. Oral stimulation of the clitoris is carried out by licking and sucking it.Try to gently lick the woman’s external genitals. Accelerate little by little, and move to the inner labia, try to deeply penetrate your tongue into her vagina.

Make small circular movements with your tongue. You can even bite your partner’s labia, suck and kiss her clitoris. During sex, a clitoral orgasm is obtained in a position when the partner lies on a dais, legs apart, and the man, kneeling down, enters his penis into her vagina. At the same time, with his fingers, he stimulates the woman’s clitoris.

Female vaginal orgasm

To achieve this type of orgasm, it is necessary to acquire the skills to stimulate the point G. This point is a small tubercle, which is located on the front wall of the woman’s vagina, in the position “11.00.” Lay the excited partner on her back, gently insert your finger into her vagina, and feel at the very top on the front wall of the vagina for the G point. It will differ in bulge from the rest of the gentle and smooth surface of the woman’s vagina.

The G-spot is stimulated with the fingers. To do this, the excited partner should be laid on her back and penetrated into her vagina with her ring and middle fingers. Being inside her bosom, you need to bend your fingers in the form of the letter “P” and move them up and down at a fast pace. The G-spot will swell and the woman will reach orgasm, which may be accompanied by female ejaculation (squirt). Stimulation of the G-spot during sex can be carried out in poses when the partner is on all fours, and the man enters her from behind, or the woman lies on her stomach, stretching her legs and closing them together, and the man enters her from above.