How men have orgasms: Male Orgasm: Understanding the Male Climax
Male Orgasm: Understanding the Male Climax
A Look Behind the Scenes of the Male Climax
The fuel for the process leading to orgasm is testosterone, a hormone produced in steady supply by the testicles. The testicles also make millions of sperm each day, which mature and then are mixed with whitish, protein-rich fluids. These fluids nourish and support the sperm so they can live after ejaculation for a limited time. This mixture of fluid and sperm, known as semen, is what is moved through the urethra and out the penis during orgasm.
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The testosterone flowing through a man’s body, along with psychological factors, determines the strength of his desire for sex.
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The Role of Testosterone and Sexual Desire in Male Orgasm
Testosterone is the primary factor which drives sexual desire, says Michael Ingber, MD, a physician in urology and female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery at the Atlantic Health System in Morristown, New Jersey, and a fellow of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health.
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This sexual desire, or libido, is key in kicking off the process that will lead to orgasm. If a man has no sex drive — for example, if he has clinically low testosterone or is suffering from depression — his body may not respond to sexual stimuli and he may not be able to experience orgasm.
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The Male Orgasm: Steps to Ejaculation
The steps that lead a man to successful orgasm include:
- Arousal The man perceives something or someone that prompts sexual interest. That perception prompts the brain to send a signal down the spinal cord to the sex organs, causing an erection. The penis becomes erect when blood fills spongy tissue inside its shaft, brought by arteries that have expanded to allow blood to race in at up to 50 times its normal speed. The veins in the penis that normally drain blood out squeeze shut so that more blood remains inside, producing a firm erection. The scrotum pulls toward the body, and muscles throughout the body increase in tension.
- Plateau The male body prepares for orgasm in this phase, which can last from 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Muscle tension increases even more and involuntary body movements, particularly in the pelvis, begin to take over. The man’s heart rate increases to between 150 and 175 beats per minute, says Ingber. A clear fluid may begin to flow from the urethra. This pre-ejaculatory fluid is meant to change the pH balance of the urethra, to improve the chances of sperm survival.
- Orgasm The orgasm itself occurs in two phases, emission and ejaculation. In emission, the man reaches ejaculatory inevitability, the “point of no return.” Semen is deposited near the top of the urethra, ready for ejaculation. Ejaculation occurs in a series of rapid-fire contractions of the penile muscles and around the base of the anus. Involuntary pelvic thrusting may also occur. The nerves causing the muscle contractions send messages of pleasure to the man’s brain.
- Resolution and refraction After ejaculation, the penis begins to lose its erection. About half of the erection is lost immediately, and the rest fades soon after. Muscle tension fades, and the man may feel relaxed or drowsy, according to Ingber. Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour. Men differ from women in that men usually are satiated after one orgasm. Women can experience more than one orgasm with no loss of sexual arousal, and do not have to undergo a refractory period.
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Male Orgasm: When There’s a Problem
Some men can have problems reaching orgasm. These most often stem from psychological factors; for example, they are still affected by a traumatic event or a restrictive upbringing, or they have fallen into masturbation patterns that could have conditioned the body to take longer to orgasm. However, the problem also can be caused by certain medications or by a neurological or cardiovascular disease, or by having surgery where nerves are cut, says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, professor emerita at Rutgers University in Newark New Jersey, and past president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).
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A short-term way to address problems with orgasm involves stimulation of the penis with a vibrator or some other type of sex toy. However, to really make meaningful changes, a man may need to go through some form of sex therapy. Therapy usually involves “homework” in which a couple engages in sexual activities that reduce performance pressure and focus on pleasure.
If you are consistently experiencing problems with orgasm and ejaculation, contact your doctor. A thorough medical exam and history may reveal the reason why.
Additional reporting by Dennis Thompson Jr.
Understanding the Male Orgasm and Arousal Dynsfunction
The male orgasm is a complex experience. The major function of the male orgasm is to ejaculate sperm, although not all men will ejaculate during an orgasm. Beyond delivering pleasure, the role of the female orgasm is less clear, although it may help move the sperm closer toward the ovum (egg).
In the 1950s, Alfred Kinsey, the first scientist to study human sexuality in detail, described the orgasm as “an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tension.” In the years since those initial studies, we have come closer to understanding both the physiological and emotional components of the male orgasm, as well as the conditions that impede or promote it.
The male orgasm is a complex system involving multiple hormones, organs, and nerve pathways.
The hormone testosterone, produced in the testicles, plays a central role by enhancing the sexual desire (libido) that leads to arousal, erection, and ultimately orgasm. By contrast, low testosterone not only decreases a man’s energy and mood, it makes him less responsive to sexual stimuli, both physical and mental.
With that being said, a man often only requires physical stimulation to achieve arousal, while women typically need physical and mental stimulation to achieve the same. Men differ from women in that their orgasms—the climax of the sexual response—come on faster and are shorter than women’s.
By and large, the male orgasm will last for five to 10 seconds. Women will last 10 to 15 seconds on average, although some have reported orgasms that last as long as a minute (a virtual impossibility for men).
The male ejaculate, semen, is comprised of sperm cells and seminal fluid, the latter of which contains phosphorylcholine (an enzyme that aids in fertility) and fructose (which provides fuel for sperm). The average volume of semen expelled by a healthy man is around a teaspoon.
4 Phases of the Male Orgasm
The route to ejaculation in men is actually delineated by four distinct phases, of which orgasm is the third. While the duration and intensity of these phases can vary, the experience will proceed in a strictly specific way.
Alex Dos Diaz / Verywell
The model was first outlined by William Masters and Virginia Johnson in their 1966 book, Human Sexual Response.
Arousal is the stage in which physical, sensory, and emotional cues prompt the brain to release a neurotransmitter known as acetylcholine. This, in turn, triggers the release of nitric oxide into the arteries of the penis, causing them to expand and rapidly fill with blood.
The resulting erection is generally accompanied by changes in respiration, increased overall muscle tension, and the retraction of the scrotal sac.
Plateau is the phase immediately preceding orgasm in which the voluntary thrusts of the body, specifically the pelvis, suddenly become involuntary, increasing both in intensity and speed. It is at this stage that the heart rate increases to between 150 and 175 beats per minute, accompanied by a marked rise in blood pressure and body temperature.
Traces of seminal fluid (“pre-cum”) may leak from the urethra. The release of pre-ejaculatory fluid is more than just incidental; it alters the pH of the urethra so that the sperm has a better chance of survival. All told, the plateau phase lasts between 30 seconds and two minutes.
The orgasm phase is divided into two parts. The first, known as emission, is the stage where ejaculation is inevitable. This is immediately followed by the second stage, ejaculation, in which strong contractions of the penile muscle, anus, and perineal muscles help propel the semen from the body.
During orgasm, the reward center of the brain (specifically the cerebellum, amygdala, nucleus accumbens, and ventral tegmental area) is flooded with neurochemicals, inciting the intense emotional response associated with an orgasm.
At the same time, the lateral orbitofrontal cortex located behind the left eye shuts down entirely. This is the part of the brain that plays a central role in judgment and self-control. The effect explains why people often describe an orgasm as a state where “nothing else matters.”
Resolution and Refraction
Resolution is the phase following orgasm where the penis starts to lose its erection. This is often accompanied by feelings of extreme relaxation or even drowsiness.
Refraction, also known as the refractory period, is the stage following climax when a man is unable to achieve another erection even with stimulation. In younger men, the refractory period may be as short as 15 minutes. In older men, it may last as long as an entire day.
Male Multiple Orgasms
“Multiorgasmic” is a term used to describe the ability to have more than one orgasm within the span of minutes or seconds. The orgasm may not involve actual ejaculate but must include the physiological and emotional components of ejaculation.
The multiorgasmic state can be classified in one of two ways:
- Condensed: Two to four individual and defined orgasms occur within a few seconds to two minutes.
- Sporadic: Refraction is delayed and multiple orgasms can be achieved within the span of several minutes.
Beyond age, there are several factors commonly noted in multiorgasmic men. These include the use of psychoactive drugs, having multiple partners, having novel sex partners, and the use of sex toys to enhance tactile stimulation.
What this suggests is that the ability to achieve multiple orgasms is the result of a heightened state of arousal rather than any unique hormonal or physiological response.
Male Orgasm Disorders
Orgasm disorders differ from ejaculation disorders in that the latter refers to the actual emission of semen. Common ejaculation disorders include premature ejaculation, retrograde ejaculation (in which semen is redirected to the bladder), and anejaculation (inability to ejaculate).
Retrograde ejaculation should not be confused with dry orgasm, a condition in which very little semen is expelled during climax. Also known as orgasmic anejaculation, dry orgasm commonly occurs after bladder or prostate surgery, or as the result of low testosterone, sperm duct blockage, high blood pressure, or an enlarged prostate.
By contrast, anorgasmia is a condition in which a man or woman is unable to achieve orgasm. Anorgasmia may be caused by psychological problems, such as stress, trauma, and performance anxiety, or physical ones, such as diabetes, hypertension, and hypogonadism (low testosterone).
Anorgasmia may also be caused by prostate surgery (prostatectomy) or certain medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) used to treat depression.
The treatment of anorgasmia depends on the underlying cause and may include psychotherapy, a change of medications, testosterone replacement therapy, or the use of Dostinex (cabergoline), a dopamine promoter that can alter the hormonal response in men with anorgasmia.
Unfortunately, erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra (sildenafil) and Cialis (tadalafil) cannot treat orgasm problems, as their only function is to increase blood flow to the penis. They do not enhance libido and typically fail to work in the absence of sexual stimulation.
Some men are able to enhance both an erection and orgasm with digital prostate massage. This is a technique in which a finger is inserted into the rectum prior to and/or during sex to manually stimulate the prostate gland. Located on the front wall of the rectum, the walnut-sized gland is considered by some to be the male G-spot.
Male orgasm | Sense.info
What is an orgasm?
When a man gets an orgasm (comes), he has an ejaculation. A whitish fluid comes out of his penis. His penis is hard and the muscles in his penis contract. When a man comes, he usually stops thrusting. Because thrusting is then too sensitive, too intense. The head of the penis, in particular, is very sensitive after an orgasm. So touching it at that moment can hurt.
You can come by rubbing your penis up and down. First, it will get hard (an erection). The spongy tissues in your penis fill up with blood. This is what makes it stand up. Your penis usually gets bigger too. Other things happen to your body when you are aroused. Your nipples get stiff, your heart beats faster, your pupils get larger, your breathing speeds up, you move faster and some men gasp or moan with pleasure.
Use your sensitive spots
Having your sensitive spots touched can turn you on. Certain places give you an extra special feeling when touched. For men that is the penis and balls, especially the head of the penis. But your neck, arms, breasts and bottom are sensitive too. Would you like to know where your sensitive spots are, or your partner’s ones?
A man can’t come again straight after having an orgasm. A woman can do that. Around 10 to 15 seconds after an orgasm, her clitoris is back to normal. Men need a recovery period. That varies from man to man. Recovering can take a few minutes or up to a few hours.
Sometimes a man comes too soon. That can be a problem.
Tips for delaying the orgasm
- Stop moving or move slower.
- Look for a position where you don’t come so quickly.
- Wrap your thumb and index finger round your scrotum. Pull down gently when you’re about to have an orgasm.
- Some condoms have a special lubricant designed to delay orgasm (Performa condoms by Durex).
Did you both come at the same time? Count yourselves lucky! Usually it’s not that easy to have an orgasm together. Don’t make it compulsory. If it happens that’s fine, but coming one after the other is exciting too. Then you can focus more on your partner and enjoy seeing his or her orgasm.
Facts, types, causes, and misconceptions
The orgasm is widely regarded as the peak of sexual excitement. It is a powerful feeling of physical pleasure and sensation, which includes a discharge of accumulated erotic tension.
Overall though, not a great deal is known about the orgasm, and over the past century, theories about the orgasm and its nature have shifted dramatically. For instance, healthcare experts have only relatively recently come round to the idea of the female orgasm, with many doctors as recently as the 1970s claiming that it was normal for women not to experience them.
In this article, we will explain what an orgasm is in men and women, why it happens, and explain some common misconceptions.
Fast facts on orgasms
- Orgasms have multiple potential health benefits due to the hormones and other chemicals that are released by the body during an orgasm.
- Orgasms do not only occur during sexual stimulation.
- People of all genders can experience orgasm disorders.
- An estimated 1 in 3 men have experienced premature ejaculation.
- Trans people are able to orgasm after gender reassignment surgery.
- Medical professionals and mental health professionals define orgasms differently.
Orgasms can be defined in different ways using different criteria. Medical professionals have used physiological changes to the body as a basis for a definition, whereas psychologists and mental health professionals have used emotional and cognitive changes. A single, overarching explanation of the orgasm does not currently exist.
Alfred Kinsey’s Sexual Behavior in the Human Male(1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953) sought to build “an objectively determined body of fact and sex,” through the use of in-depth interviews, challenging currently held views about sex.
The spirit of this work was taken forward by William H. Masters and Virginia Johnson in their work, Human Sexual Response (1986) – a real-time observational study of the physiological effects of various sexual acts. This research led to the establishment of sexology as a scientific discipline and is still an important part of today’s theories on orgasms.
Sex researchers have defined orgasms within staged models of sexual response. Although the orgasm process can differ greatly between individuals, several basic physiological changes have been identified that tend to occur in the majority of incidences.
The following models are patterns that have been found to occur in all forms of sexual response and are not limited solely to penile-vaginal intercourse.
Master and Johnson’s Four-Phase Model:
Kaplan’s Three-Stage Model:
Kaplan’s model differs from most other sexual response models as it includes desire – most models tend to avoid including non-genital changes. It is also important to note that not all sexual activity is preceded by desire.
Potential health benefits of orgasm
A cohort study published in 1997 suggested that the risk of mortality was considerably lower in men with a high frequency of orgasm than men with a low frequency of orgasm.
This is counter to the view in many cultures worldwide that the pleasure of the orgasm is “secured at the cost of vigor and wellbeing.”
There is some evidence that frequent ejaculation might reduce the risk of prostate cancer. A team of researchers found that the risk for prostate cancer was 20 percent lower in men who ejaculated at least 21 times a month compared with men who ejaculated just 4 to 7 times a month.
Several hormones that are released during orgasm have been identified, such as oxytocin and DHEA; some studies suggest that these hormones could have protective qualities against cancers and heart disease. Oxytocin and other endorphins released during male and female orgasm have also been found to work as relaxants.
Unsurprisingly, given that experts are yet to come to a consensus regarding the definition of an orgasm, there are multiple different forms of categorization for orgasms.
The psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud distinguished female orgasms as clitoral in the young and immature, and vaginal in those with a healthy sexual response. In contrast, the sex researcher Betty Dodson has defined at least nine different forms of orgasm, biased toward genital stimulation, based on her research. Here is a selection of them:
- Combination or blended orgasms: a variety of different orgasmic experiences blended together.
- Multiple orgasms: a series of orgasms over a short period rather than a singular one.
- Pressure orgasms: orgasms that arise from the indirect stimulation of applied pressure. A form of self-stimulation that is more common in children.
- Relaxation orgasms: orgasm deriving from deep relaxation during sexual stimulation.
- Tension orgasms: a common form of orgasm, from direct stimulation often when the body and muscles are tense.
There are other forms of orgasm that Freud and Dodson largely discount, but many others have described them. For instance:
- Fantasy orgasms: orgasms resulting from mental stimulation alone.
- G-spot orgasms: orgasms resulting from the stimulation of an erotic zone during penetrative intercourse, feeling markedly different to orgasms from other kinds of stimulation.
The following description of the physiological process of female orgasm in the genitals will use the Masters and Johnson four-phase model.
When a woman is stimulated physically or psychologically, the blood vessels within her genitals dilate. Increased blood supply causes the vulva to swell, and fluid to pass through the vaginal walls, making the vulva swollen and wet. Internally, the top of the vagina expands.
Heart rate and breathing quicken and blood pressure increases. Blood vessel dilation can lead to the woman appearing flushed, particularly on the neck and chest.
As blood flow to the introitus – the lower area of the vagina – reaches its limit, it becomes firm. Breasts can increase in size by as much as 25 percent and increased blood flow to the areola – the area surrounding the nipple – causes the nipples to appear less erect. The clitoris pulls back against the pubic bone, seemingly disappearing.
The genital muscles, including the uterus and introitus, experience rhythmic contractions around 0.8 seconds apart. The female orgasm typically lasts longer than the male at an average of around 13-51 seconds.
Unlike men, most women do not have a refractory (recovery) period and so can have further orgasms if they are stimulated again.
The body gradually returns to its former state, with swelling reduction and the slowing of pulse and breathing.
The following description of the physiological process of male orgasm in the genitals uses the Masters and Johnson four-phase model.
When a man is stimulated physically or psychologically, he gets an erection. Blood flows into the corpora – the spongy tissue running the length of the penis – causing the penis to grow in size and become rigid. The testicles are drawn up toward the body as the scrotum tightens.
As the blood vessels in and around the penis fill with blood, the glans and testicles increase in size. In addition, thigh and buttock muscles tense, blood pressure rises, the pulse quickens, and the rate of breathing increases.
Semen – a mixture of sperm (5 percent) and fluid (95 percent) – is forced into the urethra by a series of contractions in the pelvic floor muscles, prostate gland, seminal vesicles, and the vas deferens.
Contractions in the pelvic floor muscles and prostate gland also cause the semen to be forced out of the penis in a process called ejaculation. The average male orgasm lasts for 10-30 seconds.
The man now enters a temporary recovery phase where further orgasms are not possible. This is known as the refractory period, and its length varies from person to person. It can last from a few minutes to a few days, and this period generally grows longer as the man ages.
During this phase, the man’s penis and testicles return to their original size. The rate of breathing will be heavy and fast, and the pulse will be fast.
It is commonly held that orgasms are a sexual experience, typically experienced as part of a sexual response cycle. They often occur following the continual stimulation of erogenous zones, such as the genitals, anus, nipples, and perineum.
Physiologically, orgasms occur following two basic responses to continual stimulation:
- Vasocongestion: the process whereby body tissues fill up with blood, swelling in size as a result.
- Myotonia: the process whereby muscles tense, including both voluntary flexing and involuntary contracting.
There have been other reports of people experiencing orgasmic sensations at the onset of epileptic medicine, and foot amputees feeling orgasms in the space where their foot once was. People paralyzed from the waist down have also been able to have orgasms, suggesting that it is the central nervous system rather than the genitals that is key to experiencing orgasms.
A number of disorders are associated with orgasms; they can lead to distress, frustration, and feelings of shame, both for the person experiencing the symptoms and their partner(s).
Although orgasms are considered to be the same in all genders, healthcare professionals tend to describe orgasm disorders in gendered terms.
Female orgasmic disorders
Female orgasmic disorders center around the absence or significant delay of orgasm following sufficient stimulation.
The absence of having orgasms is also referred to as anorgasmia. This term can be divided into primary anorgasmia, when a woman has never experienced an orgasm, and secondary anorgasmia, when a woman who previously experienced orgasms no longer can. The condition can be limited to certain situations or can generally occur.
Female orgasmic disorder can occur as the result of physical causes such as gynecological issues or the use of certain medications, or psychological causes such as anxiety or depression.
Male orgasmic disorders
Also referred to as inhibited male orgasm, male orgasmic disorder involves a persistent and recurrent delay or absence of orgasm following sufficient stimulation.
Male orgasmic disorder can be a lifelong condition or one that is acquired after a period of regular sexual functioning. The condition can be limited to certain situations or can generally occur. It can occur as the result of other physical conditions such as heart disease, psychological causes such as anxiety, or through the use of certain medications such as antidepressants.
Ejaculation in men is closely associated with an orgasm. Premature ejaculation is a common sexual complaint, whereby a man ejaculates (and typically orgasms) within 1 minute of penetration, including the moment of penetration itself.
Premature ejaculation is likely to be caused by a combination of psychological factors such as guilt or anxiety, and biological factors such as hormone levels or nerve damage.
The high importance that society places on sex, combined with our incomplete knowledge of the orgasm, has led to a number of common misconceptions.
Sexual culture has placed the orgasm on a pedestal, often prizing it as the one and only goal for sexual encounters.
However, orgasms are not as simple and as common as many people would suggest.
It is estimated that around 10-15 percent of women have never had an orgasm. In men, as many as 1 in 3 reports having experienced premature ejaculation at some point in their lives.
Research has shown that orgasms are also not widely considered to be the most important aspect of sexual experience. One study reported that many women find their most satisfying sexual experiences involve a feeling of being connected to someone else, rather than basing their satisfaction solely on orgasm.
Another misconception is that penile-vaginal stimulation is the main way for both men and women to achieve an orgasm. While this may be true for many men and some women, many more women experience orgasms following the stimulation of the clitoris.
A comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over 80 years found that during vaginal intercourse just 25 percent of women consistently experience an orgasm, about half of women sometimes have an orgasm, 20 percent seldom or ever have orgasms, and about 5 percent never have orgasms.
In fact, orgasms do not necessarily have to involve the genitals at all, nor do they have to be associated with sexual desires, as evidenced by examples of exercise-induced orgasm.
Another common misconception is that transgender people are unable to orgasm after gender reassignment surgery.
A 2005 study of transgender people who had undergone sex reassignment surgery found that all of the transgender men and 85% of the transgender women were able to orgasm.
Another study in 2014 showed that 82.4% of the transgender women who participated could climax after surgery. A further 55.8% of those also reported that they experienced more intense orgasms post-procedure.
The journey to an orgasm is a very individual experience that has no singular, all-encompassing definition. In many cases, experts recommend avoiding comparison to other people or pre-existing concepts of what an orgasm should be.
Read this article in Spanish.
Better Male Orgasm Expert Tips
A good orgasm for a man is the sexual equivalent of a cold beer at the end of the workday: a satisfying reward for a job well done. The job in this case is pleasing you. A major part of the satisfaction men get from sex is the ego boost that results from making our partners go bonkers in bed.
The point is that a lot of men won’t allow themselves to savor their own orgasm until they’ve accomplished that goal. “Performing comes first; my orgasm comes second,” says Will. “There are times when I just want to come, but basically my goal is for my wife to find every sexual encounter totally fulfilling.”
Sex therapists will tell you that although this approach is admirable — better that men be too concerned with their partners’ orgasms than not at all concerned — it can nonetheless constitute a form of voluntary sensory deprivation. By reining in their passion, many men deprive themselves of the sexual abandon that produces the strongest orgasms. “Sex becomes a battle to make sure she has an orgasm, rather than a mutual sharing of enjoyment,” says Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., a psychologist and sex therapist in Washington, DC, and coauthor of Male Sexual Awareness.
The solution? Give your man the night off. Encourage him to focus on enjoying himself without worrying about taking care of you. There are two basic ways to go about this. One is to tell him, as your lovemaking heats up, that you want this one to be all for him, that tonight he should do whatever makes him feel good. The other is to encourage him to lie back passively and let himself be pleasured by you. Sex therapists say this is a better method, because it enables him to concentrate completely on what he’s feeling, rather than on what he’s doing. The same should go for you when he returns the favor another night: Ideally, both of you will regularly take turns teaching the other delightful lessons in the art of orgasmic appreciation.
One caution: Michael Seiler, Ph.D., a marriage and sex therapist at the Phoenix Institiute in Chicago, says many men find it difficult to let go of control during sex. Don’t be surprised, then, if it takes a while before your husband is comfortable turning the reins completely over to you. Be patient, but be firm. He’ll learn to love it.
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Oh Man! 6 Fun Facts About Male Orgasms
Men can have an orgasm without ejaculating. Yes, it’s true—not all men ejaculate with orgasm! We tend to think of the male orgasm as ejaculating or “cumming,” however men can have an orgasm without emitting any fluid. And guess what? It can feel just as great!
__How long do guys need to “rest” after orgasm before starting another hooking up session? __
Most men need time to “recharge” after orgasm and ejaculation. After an orgasm, most males are not able to have another orgasm for a period of time even with continued stimulation. That time frame can be anywhere from minutes to hours or even a day. For younger men this time period is typically much shorter, however the amount of time varies between men.
So does that mean they can’t have multiple orgasms?
Men can be multiorgasmic! Some few men can have multiple orgasms during the same sexual encounter. However, this is not common and there are a few things you should know about them. First, as mentioned in the previous point, some men may take less time between ejaculations than others. So for those whose refractory period is shorter, it may appear that they are having multiple orgasms. Secondly, as mentioned before, some men can have orgasms without ejaculating. It is the ejaculation process that requires time between them. So, if a man has an orgasm without ejaculating, then he could potentially have a second or third orgasm with or without ejaculation. Remember, even though multiple male orgasms is possible, it is not all that common and sexual activity can be plenty enjoyable and satisfying with just one orgasm or even none.
Thanks Dr. Needle!
Smitten Kittens, is any of this information new to you? Have you been with a guy who can jump right back into the action after he orgasms? Or have your partners all needed a break (or more!) between sessions? And have you ever suspect a partner of faking an orgasm?
P.S. Dr. Rachel Needle is a Licensed Psychologist and a Certified Sex Therapist; she is in private practice. Want to keep up with her? Feel free to follow her on Twitter or Facebook.
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What Does The Male Orgasm Feel Like? 10 Men Reveal What’s Really Going On When They Climax
If you read up on the science behind what a male orgasm feels like, you’ll learn they experience things like increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and rapid breathing. But hearing people with penises explain the sensation in their own words lets you in on the experience in a whole new way.
Though the physical signs of an orgasm may look similar from person to person, they’re by no means all the same. For example, you might not have known that people with penises can orgasm without ejaculation. And while it’s impossible for people with penises to have multiple ejaculatory orgasms with no refractory period, they can still have multiple orgasms.
According to an Everyday Health article reviewed by a medical doctor, there are typically four steps leading up to ejaculation during a male orgasm. They include arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution and refraction. During arousal, blood flows into the penis at 50 times its normal rate which — you guessed it — leads to an erection. During the plateau phase, which only lasts between 30 seconds and two minutes, the person’s heartbeat starts to increase, basically in preparation for an orgasm. And in case you were wondering, Everyday Health explains, orgasms feel so good because nerves causing the muscle contractions tell the brain it’s experiencing pleasure.
But “good” only scrapes the surface when it comes to what an orgasm feels like, according to a study published in Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology about how sex can affect brain rhythms. “Sex is a source of pleasurable sensations and emotional connection, but beyond that, it’s actually an altered state of consciousness,” Adam Safron, PhD, the author of the study “What is orgasm? A model of sexual trance and climax via rhythmic entrainment,” told Science Daily. ” … I wasn’t expecting to find that sexual activity was so similar to music and dance, not just in the nature of the experiences, but also in that evolutionarily, rhythm-keeping ability may serve as a test of fitness for potential mates.”
Some researchers claim that the orgasmic experience is almost identical for everyone, but it’s important to remember that people have different needs, expectations, and behaviors leading up to the Big O. To find out the truth about the male orgasm, we went straight to the mouths of some people with penises. Read on for what these 10 people had to say about what the male orgasm actually feels like to them — from the weird fantasies they experience right before it, to what they do after (nap), and the feeling that they might just die before it’s over.
1. Bob, 26
“Depending on the situation, it’s either a slow or quick buildup, followed by an insane explosion that lasts three to five seconds. Then you either feel shame, or a feeling of ‘Yeah, all right, I totally had sex,’ which is immediately followed by a need to nap.”
2. Eric, 25
“A male orgasm feels like the onset of a dire need at the very same moment that it’s being fulfilled, in slow motion. Like a voracious, mind-shattering thirst just as a waterfall begins to surge down towards you from above. Like a tickle that creeps up from every corner of your body until you’re desperate for it to stop and also to continue forever, as if squeegees are scraping through your limbs. Like a gunshot, startling and discreet, leaving you with the vibrations, the trembling steel, the blow-back.”
3. Matt, 26
“It kind of transcends a pure physical feeling. It’s like a whole body and mind numbness, where for a few brief seconds you strangely feel both helpless yet in complete control, mentally vacant while the entirety of your tactile sense rushes to a single point of exit.”
4. Mark, 26
“There is no need to explain the male orgasm in great detail, because there’s no great detail about it. Your dick gets hard, like, ‘What’s up. I’m here to party’ … sometimes well before the party has even started. Your dick gets warm (full party mode), then it feels like it’s going to explode, like a power-up in a video game. Then you’re done.”
5. Jason, 30
“It’s like you’re wandering through this robotic state. My mind starts thinking about all these weird fantasies, and once I finish, everything becomes clear again. Everything just makes sense for a few seconds afterward. It’s hard to explain.”
6. Alan, 27
“First of all, the male orgasm when you’re having sex is way different from when you’re just jerking off. When I jerk off, it’s just for a means to an end. But when I actually come inside someone, it’s like this climax that you’re passing on to someone else — this intense feeling that’s happening when you’re literally in another person. There’s nothing that makes me feel more vulnerable.”
7. Peter, 23
“Male orgasms are most intense when you try to hold out for as long as possible. If you just let it go once you feel like you’re almost there, it’s still great. But being on the edge of one and pulling back in order to go for longer creates this really powerful buildup that’s totally worth the self-control it takes to get there.”
8. Jesse, 26
“I’ve noticed that my girlfriend’s orgasms are definitely longer. Ours really are just a few seconds if we’re lucky. A quick burst; maybe like three to five seconds, tops. Don’t get me wrong, they feel great, but I have a feeling that you ladies have it better in the orgasm department.”
9. Kyle, 22
“A pressure builds, and keeps building until you can’t hold it in anymore. There’s a threshold that you cross when you know that once you release, you’re done. What follows is like that pressure building and falling, but every time it builds, you let out more (which is why it doesn’t just gush out in one go, and it comes out in steady intervals).”
10. Stephan, 32
“It begins as a welling of pressure deep within. The contractions build, and as you start to ejaculate, it feels like the best piss you’ve ever taken. Like the greatest relief ever. This whole time, all you want to do is hold onto whoever you’re doing it with, just grab them and hold on for dear life, because sometimes you’re pretty sure you’re going to die.”
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Safron, A. (2016). What is orgasm? A model of sexual trance and climax via rhythmic entrainment. Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology, 6(1). doi: 10.3402/snp.v6.31763
90,000 Secrets of Male Orgasm
The elusive, complex, erratic female orgasm is still the subject of debate after 20 years of research. The secrets of multiple menopause, erogenous zones, the difference between vaginal and clitoral orgasms have already been discussed. Erica John described her orgasmic sensations after using heroin. Madonna sings about her own orgasm in her songs. The question remains: what about men?
The male orgasm is often considered unambiguously: all or nothing.The man experiences arousal accompanied by ejaculation. At the same time, he may experience an orgasm, from which it follows that he is normal (and quite satisfied), or not experience it, which will indicate dysfunction of the body. But the fact is, a male orgasm can be just as difficult as a female one. The quality of male pleasure, the ability to achieve it depends on many factors. A man usually doesn’t talk about what affects his orgasm, and his partner usually doesn’t ask. “My excitement is not a subject for discussion,” says Matthew, 32.“It’s up to a guy to ask a friend if she felt good.”
Orgasm can bring great pleasure to a man, it can be disappointing, it can do neither one nor the other. Men describe a wide range of sensations, ranging from “amazing” to “barely worth the effort.” “The best orgasms are almost like hallucinations,” says Alex, 31. “This phenomenon is not permanent, but from time to time I feel it all over my body, as if I have lost the ability to feel anything other than my orgasm.After that, I completely relax, although it seems that everything – the sounds coming from the street, the colors in the room, the feeling of her body – are intensified. This can go on for 30 minutes. There are other moments – and even more often than I would like – when I get aroused, but I do not feel any pleasure. “
Cumshots and Orgasm
“The main mistake in thinking about male orgasm is,” says Robert O. Hawkins, professor of medical sciences at New York State University, “that most of us equate ejaculation with the pleasure of orgasm.However, physiologically, we are able to experience one without the other. ”When ejaculating, a man, like his partner, concludes that this is an orgasm, which makes many wonder why, in fact,“ these ”orgasms do not bring as much pleasure as“ that ” .
“It’s pretty simple,” Hawkins continues. “Like a woman, a man may not have an orgasm either. Under the influence of various factors – stress, fatigue, etc., he can ejaculate from the physical stimulation he received without experiencing pleasure. “
Most of the men surveyed stated that it is very easy for them to achieve orgasm, much easier than their women. At the same time, they note that it is more difficult to experience a great orgasm. “I said to my wife, ‘Lord, I would like to feel the same as you,” says Andrew. “Sometimes I feel like I’m reaching her level of bliss, but most of the time I can’t boast of it.”
Men need their fantasy
“If there is any key to the quality of a male orgasm, it is the combination of sexual thoughts with sexual actions,” says Michael A.Perelmen, professor of psychiatry. “Your most erotic thoughts combined with physical stimulation will help you experience a real orgasm.”
“Fantasy is important for two reasons. Hawkins agrees. – First, it allows you to lose control, which is one of the key factors on the path to achieving orgasm. Secondly, it helps to increase the physical tension of the body, which enhances relaxation during orgasm. “
Michael, 35, describes his fantasy as follows: “I find myself in an increasing spiral: the more I get excited, the more my fantasy world expands.I don’t start fantasizing from the moment I got undressed – it happens more organically. Suddenly my thoughts fill everything around. ”Many men describe their fantasy as an uncontrollable response to arousal from sex, rather than a preconceived script that they follow every time they make love. And, surprisingly, many claim that their fantasies are usually closely related to the partner.
“I never fantasize about anyone else,” says Jared, 33, “but I can imagine that the woman with me has larger breasts or thinner waist.For example, it is very sexy when a woman does a blow job and her long hair falls on your thighs. If my woman has short hair, I imagine that she has long hair, and this excites me very much and allows me to increase the pleasure of orgasm. “
A man’s fantasies may not coincide with what really gives him physical pleasure. “I like it when the woman is on top,” says Jared, “but I know I will have more fun if I’m on top. I sometimes change position, imagining that she is still on top.”Michael says that blowjob is a big part of his fantasy, but the vaginal connection makes for a more intense orgasm. “Blow job is very erotic, and I think about it when I make love. However, I prefer a vaginal connection. I once mentioned this in a conversation with friends and since then I have stuck with the nickname – The guy who does not like blow job.”
Men crave pre-game too
Women want more preliminaries, men less, right? Wrong, says David M.Quadagno, professor of biology at Florida State University. “True, if we ask men under 35, the majority will answer that sex is more important for them. But those over 35 tend to prefer the preliminary game of the connection itself.” Men have suggested that one of the reasons for the increased interest in foreplay is the decrease with age in the pleasure of sexual intercourse and orgasm. “The way I felt during an orgasm when I was younger is different from how I feel now,” says Andrew.
Why does the sensation of orgasm begin to dull with age? This is partly due to physical changes. In their book Heterosexuality, William X. Masters, Virginia I. Johnson, Robert Kolodney note that a decrease in muscle tone and tactile sensitivity can lead to dulling of arousal. In addition, older men produce less ejaculatory fluid, which decreases relaxation. But psychological factors, especially stress, can prove to be even more dangerous enemies of pleasure, and pre-play will be the key to overcoming them.
“That men need more stimulation as they get older to achieve the same level of pleasure as they did in their younger years is the standard version,” Hawkins says. “However, I think this problem is more due to life pressures than physical pressures. aging. Older men need more time to get all extraneous things out of their heads. ” Ross, 29, confirms: “In college, tomorrow’s test score didn’t matter – sex was more important. Now, any more or less important problem in the office does not leave you in bed.Preplay definitely helps. ”
Jared describes the effects of stress as follows: “There are two kinds of orgasm, one is pure pleasure and the other is mostly stress relief. I don’t like the stress of working in bed. So if things are really that serious, I prefer to masturbate. than making love. ” Foreplay can work wonders in helping to relieve stress if you have a passionate and skillful partner. “If the kiss is really hot, it contributes to the loss of control during intercourse and the achievement of orgasm,” says Jared.
Timing is everything
Even if all else is okay, self-pressure in bed can reduce the pleasure of sex. “Trying to last longer to give her real pleasure, to show herself as a superman, can unexpectedly backfire,” says Stephen, 31. “Sometimes you just miss a moment and end up with a dull orgasm.” “I definitely learned not to waste time in bed, – says Alex, – I was even proud that I was able to make love for 20-30 minutes.I looked at my watch and exclaimed, “Wow, great work!” However, now I realize that these long marathons did not provide much pleasure to me or my partner. As a rule, the friend was tired, and the orgasm was so weakened that sometimes I did not even feel it. “
At the same time, many men admit that a good orgasm comes if you do not resist the inevitability of ejaculation and “go with the flow.”
In other words, reaching orgasm can be compared to driving on an icy road: if you stop in front of the top, you will no longer be able to climb it – you have to go back down and start all over again.Men pretend too
If you think your partner never pretended to have an orgasm, look at the numbers: a recent study by the Canadian magazine Glamor found that 1,000 men, or 43% of those surveyed, confessed to this sin.
“Sometimes I fail to have an orgasm because I don’t want a woman to feel superior,” says David, 29. As a bachelor and without a permanent woman, David finds casual sex less than satisfying – especially when he feels that his partner is not satisfied.”I also pretend if I don’t have ejaculation. Sometimes it is a problem for me to continue ejaculating with a condom. But I would rather not have an orgasm than admit that I do not have one.”
“It is much easier for a man to fake an orgasm than a woman,” says Ross, “especially if you have a condom on.” Why do these men prefer to pretend instead of openly confessing everything to their partner? Because the male orgasm must be the conclusion of the sexual act. Without orgasm, it’s hard to finish sex.In the eyes of many men, to admit that there was no orgasm is to declare their failure. “I’ll never tell a woman that I haven’t had an orgasm,” says Dominic, “unless, of course, we are making love for the third time in one night. will be bad, or “what’s wrong with me?”, which is even worse. ” Hawkins has another theory: “Men have learned to be denied sex from women. Women have not learned to be rejected, and we do not know how to refuse them.”
Men who feel comfortable with their partner are most often honest with her.“When I started dating my girlfriend, I often pretended to,” Alex admitted. “As a rule, this was due to the fact that she initiated sex, and I could not refuse her. Now we have been together for 2 years, and I feel more free. by refusing to have sex or giving her pleasure by telling her that I will wait until next time. ”
As the song says, there is a difference between making love and just fooling around. When it comes to sex, strong attachment generally has tremendous benefits.Some women simply cannot experience an orgasm without being in a loving relationship with a partner. While this may not matter as much to many men, emotional attachment can still increase physical pleasure.
“When I’m in love, my orgasm is much fuller,” says Alan, 35.
“I don’t know if psychology plays a role here or sex is really better. I know one thing: for a real orgasm, you need to give yourself full freedom. about whether your partner likes you, you won’t be able to relax. “Alan is of the opinion that emotional stress leads to sexual stress, even if the relationship is not happy. Even when my last relationship was renewed after a six-year hiatus, the sex was inimitable. I knew that she was living my life and there was love, panic, anger and “please don’t go,” all expressed through sex. You will never feel this way with casual relationships. “
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90,000 Male Orgasm We Don’t Know Much About – Wonderzine
Orgasm without erection
and prostate wonders
The male body is somewhat more complex than it is commonly believed, and erectile dysfunction, contrary to stereotypes, does not at all mean the end of sexual life.So, for example, an orgasm (and, accordingly, ejaculation) can happen without an erection. “It is very helpful for mature men who do not have enough testosterone for a full erection. There are special techniques that help to have pleasure in case of erectile dysfunction, ”says Evgeny Grekov. Sex toys, massage, oral sex, a sense of intimacy – all this helps to experience an orgasm without an erection.
Men have excessive demands on the length of intercourse. Although in the category of fast, for medical reasons, very few fall.“The average duration of sexual intercourse is individual for everyone, but the norm starts from two to three minutes,” says Alexander Gerich. This is at odds with the toxic notion that “a man should” be able to continue for hours on end. Firstly, a delay in ejaculation can be harmful to health, and secondly, forty-minute frictions are a dubious pleasure for both partners.
Another problem in the perception of male sexuality is phallocentrism. For many years it was believed that the only erogenous zone in men is the penis.Whereas the rest of the body during sex turns only into a surface from which the phallus breaks through. In fact, a man’s body is much more complex and sensitive. The same penis can be stimulated in different ways, and the male “G-spot” is not a penis at all, but a prostate. Her massage makes it possible not only to achieve orgasm without stimulating the penis, but also to reduce the risk of prostatitis and erection problems. Of course, prostate massage has nothing to do with sexual orientation, contrary to all homophobic stereotypes.By the way, according to Healthy and Active, sales of prostate massagers have increased 56% over the past five years among heterosexual men over forty-five. And Google searches for this product have tripled since 2004.
Men enjoy stimulating the nipples, the area around the anus, the inner thighs, buttocks and whatnot (some even have an orgasm from touching areas not associated with the genitals). True, due to gender stereotypes, they are often hesitant to explore their body outside the penis.While the female orgasm is considered a secret, the male orgasm is undeservedly simplified and reduced to the same set of movements. So the struggle for a variety of sexual practices helps not only women who cannot experience orgasm during penetration, but also men, many of whom know very little about the potential of their bodies.
Cover: Jag_cz – stock.adobe.com
90,000 Male Orgasm – How Many Types Do You Know? – Moscow
Many articles have been written about the female orgasm, the problem of its absence, the methods of treating this condition, etc., however, who wondered about the male orgasm?
When most people think of a male orgasm, they imagine a person experiencing explosive ejaculation.However, in the male body, orgasm and ejaculation are actually two separate processes. Orgasm and ejaculation are so far apart that they are controlled by completely different parts of the brain and nervous system.
Most male orgasms ejaculate so close to the time of actual orgasm that most people simply automatically assume that they are part of the same process. However, one of the keys to understanding the different types of male orgasm is to understand that one can happen without the other.Just as there can be an orgasm without ejaculation (“dry orgasm”), so ejaculation can be accompanied by a lack of orgasmic response. In some cultures, men are even taught how to achieve orgasm without ejaculation, for example, many Hindus and Buddhists are studying these methods.
Thus, there are two main types of male orgasm:
- Male orgasm with ejaculation
- Male orgasm without ejaculation
Considering the cycle of sexual reactions described by Kinsey, a man, like a woman, goes through all 4 stages – excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution, during which a refractory period occurs – a period of non-excitability.During the refractory period, a man cannot have an orgasm again, however, if a man has an orgasm without ejaculating, he can achieve waves of several orgasms in a few minutes and get multi-orgasm, as many women can.
Some men can also achieve a different type of orgasm with direct stimulation of the prostate gland, since men just like women have a G-spot, although it is located in a different place. Point G is located about 5 cm along the anterior wall of the rectum, and is the projection point of the prostate gland.Direct as well as long-term indirect stimulation of this area and nearby erogenous zones usually lead to a very intense male orgasm.
If a man experiences an unusual type of orgasm, he begins to think that something is wrong with them, even if he experienced more pleasure than before. Remember, the most important sex organ is the brain. And only due to the correct setting, it is possible to realize any of the possible types of orgasm.
If you have any questions, you can contact Evgeny Viktorovich for an in-person consultation.
Male orgasm. A topic that is not raised
Both in real life and in sexology, the female orgasm receives more attention than the male. There is an opinion that a man who has no problems with potency always experiences an orgasm, while for women the absence of it is normal (except in cases of anorgasmia). It is also often believed that ejaculation is the manifestation of orgasm. But, although both processes most often occur simultaneously, ejaculation is a mechanical release of sperm, and orgasm is a whole complex of sensations and changes in the body.
Prolonged sex: male strength or weakness
Half-hour frictions, which are often cited as the best way to satisfy a partner, are by no means the norm to strive for. Young, physically healthy men with a strong sexual constitution complete intercourse after 2-4 minutes. It upsets them, but from the point of view of sexology, this is the norm. A man, as a successor of the family, must transmit the seed as quickly as possible.
So men who are called “weaklings” can be proud of their health.By the way, it is these “weaklings” who are capable of heroic sexual marathons, as a rule, each subsequent sexual intercourse is lengthened. But a relatively sharp change in the duration of intercourse may indicate violations:
- if you notice that intercourse has become consistently short, perhaps these are the first symptoms of prostatitis;
- An increase in the duration of intercourse, especially a sudden and stable one, may indicate endocrine disorders.
Sexual marathons – an ordeal for a man
In his youth, a man can have several sexual acts in a row. Such sexual rises depend on many components, and they can be called a “special” situation in the life of any man. If a man is stable and every night he is ready to commit 5, 6, or even 10 sexual acts in a row, it is worth contacting a sex therapist.
Specialists in the field of sexology do not consider such feats to be a manifestation of health.But the lack of ejaculation or orgasm during intercourse, which are performed without a significant pause between them, should not scare you. Often, by the end of the “marathon”, a man has only an erection, but he has no strength to complete intercourse. For many, the lack of ejaculation is a serious blow. But in this case, as in many others, the man has the right to be weak. A rise in pressure, an excessively warm room and many other reasons can make a man “feel sick”. Reconsider the conditions and time for intimacy, and this problem will go away by itself.
If an orgasm disappeared with a consistently good erection and ejaculation, then the main reason, as a rule, is depression and depression, but sometimes this happens with mental and urological diseases or traumatic brain injuries. Some medications can have these side effects.
Multiple orgasms – a reason to think
Normally, a man should not experience multiple orgasms. As a rule, this is a symptom of a violation of the work of higher nervous activity, although this violation does not always pose a threat to health.
Male orgasm and ejaculation characteristics can tell a lot about a man’s health. If you find the above symptoms in yourself, we recommend that you visit a doctor. The same goes for sudden changes in sensation.
Sexology: Male orgasm. A topic that is not raised
Scientists have established: men believe that women experience orgasm more often than it happens in reality
The legend of the female orgasm is one of the most popular among men.After all, if your woman experiences an orgasm during sex, then you are a real fellow! (Of course, if she does not experience it during sex with another.) In general, no illusions are needed: a man is chasing a female orgasm not in order to please a woman, but solely for selfish reasons – to once again prove to himself what he is cool.
And all would be fine, over the centuries of communication with men, women have learned to masterfully imitate an orgasm so as not to upset their personal getter.But then research arrived that could drive such a rather big nail into the coffin of male arrogance.
The study was about the female orgasm and was published in the pseudo-scientific journal Archives of Sexual Behavior. The first part of the study was devoted to the results of a survey among 1,400 women and their achievement of orgasm – with or without clitoris stimulation, that is, exclusively through vaginal sex. So, 51-60% of respondents said that they can achieve orgasm during sex with the help of additional stimulation of the clitoris; 21-30% of women, modestly looking down, admitted that they can reach orgasm even without clitoral stimulation.
The second part of the study focused on men’s opinion – 1,500 men were interviewed. Moreover, the topic of the survey was the same as that of women: female orgasm. The men were asked to name how often they thought their partner had an orgasm during sex using clitoral stimulation. Men answered that in 61-70% of cases. Without clitoral stimulation – in 41-50%.
This discrepancy in the testimony allowed scientists to conclude that men overestimate their role in achieving orgasm in women.Simply put, men believe that women experience orgasms more often than they actually do.
As you can see, women still continue to lie to men about whether they have an orgasm. And there is practically no way to check whether a woman has an orgasm or not.
5 main secrets of male orgasm
It is generally accepted that men, unlike women, always get pleasure during sex. But is it that simple?
For a long time, the male orgasm seemed to women to be something like a reaction of an automatic machine: toss a coin – get a glass of coffee.But the mechanism for men to get pleasure from sex is far from so primitive. Modern women know that the male orgasm, as well as the female, differs in the degree of intensity and variety of sensations received. Moreover, men, it turns out, also imitate orgasms.
Secret 1: Ejaculation or Orgasm?
Men experience orgasm during ejaculation (ejaculation). But the sensations at the same time vary greatly: from a simple physical release, more like relief, to a powerful emotional and physiological “fireworks”.
The brightness of male sensations, in contrast to female ones, is influenced not so much by a change of position as by a change of perspective: the eternal principle operates in bed – “a man loves with his eyes” and wants to see the most exciting picture.
An important contribution to a full-fledged orgasm is the level of trust in relationships with a partner, a man’s ability to emotionally open up during intercourse.
Secret 2: Too Fast or Too Long?
You cannot please women: then a man reaches orgasm too quickly and then she does not have time to get her pleasure; then for too long and then she experiences unpleasant physical sensations and dreams only that everything will end quickly.
The male orgasm is accompanied by rhythmic muscle contractions that usually last for a few seconds. In this case, ejaculation almost always occurs – the release of sperm and prostate secretions through the urethra.
The concept of a norm as such within the duration of sexual intercourse does not exist. The main thing is sexual harmony in a couple.
Secret 3: Real Equality
Yes, men fake orgasms too. And they do it for almost the same reasons as women:
– In order not to offend their partner with the fact of the lack of orgasm
– In order not to look sexually insolvent in the eyes of a partner
In the life of every man at least once, but there was a situation when for some reason (poor physical or mental well-being) he could not get an orgasm.And not everyone is able to calmly state this fact.
Although an attentive woman cannot fail to notice the “fake”. After all, the male orgasm is not only about acting.
Sexual intercourse in a “circumcised” man lasts longer than that of an uncircumcised man. This is due to the fact that when the foreskin is removed, the glans penis is always open and becomes less sensitive. But this does not affect the sensations during orgasm.
Secret 4: Anorgasmia or Temporary Difficulty
Trying to satisfy his partner, a man can “endure” several times and then he himself will not be able to get an orgasm.
With age (after 40) men need more and more time for foreplay, otherwise arousal will be insufficient and orgasm may not be.
Male anorgasmia (inability to get an orgasm) is as rare as true female frigidity. However, it occurs as a result of disorders in the cerebral cortex or adhesions in the genitals (a consequence of infections and surgery).
According to a study by a well-known condom manufacturer, 20% of men fake orgasms.
Secret 5: Male orgasm in female hands
Men are worried about a lot of things: is everything okay with the size of the penis, how to persuade a woman to have sex, whether there will be an erection, whether the erection will disappear, how to protect herself, how quickly ejaculation will happen, whether a woman will get an orgasm, how many times a night will be sexual intercourse.
But how sexual relations will develop in a couple, even for one night, depends on both partners. Therefore, women should not forget about the importance of their role in creating a general emotional background for sex.
Julia Prokhorova for the Women’s magazine “Prelest”
90,000 “I’m 28 and I’ve never had an orgasm …”
Photo by, iStock / BBC Tree
Anorgasmia is one of the rarest sexual disorders in men.
The author wishes to remain anonymous
This Sexual article, intended for adults only.
I have my own apartment in Leeds – small but nice. Every Wednesday I play soccer with my friends. Then we go for a beer. I love cycling and spend my weekends mostly in the saddle.
Last summer I took part in a charity bike ride from London to Paris. I go to work in a suit, and when I accidentally see myself in the mirror, I involuntarily think: “It looks like normal …”
But I don’t feel normal.
I suffer from anorgasmia – an inability to reach orgasm despite stimulation.This is one of the rarest sexual dysfunctions among men, although, according to statistics, only about 25% of men achieve orgasm with every sexual intercourse.
Anorgasmia, a disorder where a person never has an orgasm during sexual intercourse with another person, occurs for various reasons. Sometimes the cause is physical – for example, a consequence of prostate surgery. But often, as in my case, the reason is psychological.
When I was 12 years old, a family friend tried to rape me.I think it’s because of this trauma that I’m unable to reach orgasm with another person. I am beginning to be inclined to think that it will not succeed. Ever since adolescence, this has prevented me from building a serious relationship.
When I was younger, I pretended it didn’t matter, or told myself that sooner or later I would figure it out. I brought girls home and we had sex, and after a while my erection disappeared and we both felt awkward.
Some girls joked that they “hit the jackpot” – they found a guy with whom you can make love endlessly.But after a few months of their relationship, they were all very disappointed that I never get to the end.
They thought that somehow they did not satisfy me. I tried to calm them down, and in the end they always asked what the problem was, and I couldn’t share the real reason with anyone.
Photo by iStock / BBC Three
The longest sex in my life lasted about two hours. Honestly, in the end, both of us were already sad. The girl clearly did not get pleasure, but thought only of me and “how soon will it be” – this only increased my anxiety.
For a while I closed my eyes to this, but friends started to marry and start families, and I am still alone. The further, the more scary it is for me to imagine how I lead a new girl into the bedroom, and then I see her face when she realizes that I am “defective.” However, it is no less scary to imagine that I will spend the rest of my life on my own.
I realized the seriousness of my problem at the age of 17 when I first tried to have sex. At that time, my girlfriend and I had been dating for almost a year, both were virgins and I think I was in love with her.
I started masturbating when I was 13, and even then I only “finished” half the time. Even as a teenager, even though I got aroused and had an erection, I ended up getting tired and had to stop. But I thought that with the girl this problem would go away.
We had sex for the first time on Saturday afternoon. I clearly remember that day – the sun was peeking into her bedroom window, her parents left for the weekend. We planned everything and were very happy. We started kissing and caressing each other.I had an erection, and my friend was noticeably worried – it even calmed me down, which means that she also does not know what to do, as I do.
When we finally got to the bottom of the matter, I suddenly thought: “What if I can’t do it? What if I’m inferior?” I don’t know where this thought came from. I got nervous and lost my erection. We made several more attempts the same day – I went limp again, had to stop and saw that my friend was more and more embarrassed by this.
Only the next morning, after having spent a tense night – lying in the same bed, but not touching each other, we finally managed to carry out sexual intercourse.This time I kept my erection, and after about 30 minutes of sex I was confused and did not know what to do. I understood that there would be no ejaculation and that everything would continue this way until the erection disappeared again. So I decided to fake an orgasm.
I still don’t know if my friend believed me, but at least she wasn’t offended. Since then, I have had to do this several times – after all, sometimes women are offended by the lack of orgasm, because they think that the reason is in them, as if I do not find them attractive.In fact, this is not at all the case, but sometimes it is easier to pretend as if “already” than to talk about your problem, and even more so about its origins.
Photo by iStock / BBC Thrre
Over the years I have tried to “cure” myself with pornography. If I masturbate while watching porn, I can sometimes have an orgasm on my own. It seems like porn shuts off my thinking and allows me to focus solely on the sensations. And with age, I realized that this takes the form of addiction, and with living people it only becomes more difficult for me.
Sometimes I want to ask a girl if she would mind watching porn together when she starts having sex. However, given that I rarely have more than several dates with the same person, this is somehow wrong. I think that it would be possible to try with a loved one whom I trust. Perhaps it would help.
I recently tried to share this problem with a few male friends and found that most of them also remember times when they were unable to achieve orgasm or erection.And after their words of encouragement (“It doesn’t happen to anyone, dude!”), It’s even harder for me to explain that my problem is deeper.
A few weeks ago, I started seeing a therapist who specializes in sexual trauma. We’re talking about what kind of excitement I have associated with intimacy and orgasm. But most of all, I get my sight when I try to describe my feelings during arousal. I guess I’ve never described them in words before. In short, my excitement is accompanied by a strong fear: “Now I will ruin everything!” This fear and this thought are throbbing in my head.
For a long time I felt very alone in my experiences. You can often read about anorgasmia in women, but not in men. And if somewhere they write about men, their emotions are usually hushed up.
For years I thought there were no more people like me. However, conversations with a psychotherapist convinced me that in fact there are many of them.
I have resigned myself to the possibility that I may never reach orgasm with another person.