How long does it typically take for women to reach orgasm during sexual activity. What are effective techniques for enhancing female sexual pleasure and increasing the likelihood of orgasm. How can partners communicate better to ensure mutual satisfaction in the bedroom.

Understanding Female Orgasm: Debunking Myths and Setting Realistic Expectations

Female orgasm has long been a topic shrouded in mystery and misconceptions. Many women and their partners struggle with unrealistic expectations about how quickly or easily orgasm should occur during sexual encounters. The truth is, there is no universal “normal” when it comes to the time it takes for a woman to reach climax.

Research indicates that the duration can vary widely from woman to woman and even from one sexual experience to the next for the same individual. Factors like arousal level, stress, hormones, medication, and overall health can all impact orgasm timing. Rather than fixating on an arbitrary time frame, it’s far more productive to focus on maximizing pleasure and intimacy.

The Pressure to Perform: Breaking Free from Orgasm Anxiety

One of the biggest obstacles to female sexual satisfaction is the pressure many women feel to orgasm quickly or on cue. This performance anxiety can create a vicious cycle – the more a woman worries about taking “too long,” the harder it becomes to relax and enjoy the experience. Letting go of time-based expectations is crucial for cultivating genuine pleasure and increasing orgasm potential.

• Remind yourself that there’s no “right” amount of time to orgasm
• Focus on sensations and pleasure rather than end goals
• Communicate openly with your partner about removing pressure
• Give yourself permission to simply enjoy without demands

The Clitoris: The Key to Female Sexual Pleasure

While vaginal penetration can certainly be pleasurable, research consistently shows that clitoral stimulation is essential for most women to reach orgasm. The clitoris contains thousands of nerve endings and is the primary source of sexual sensation for people with vulvas. Yet many sexual encounters neglect or under-stimulate this crucial erogenous zone.

Is direct clitoral stimulation necessary for female orgasm? For the vast majority of women, the answer is yes. Studies indicate that only about 18-25% of women can reliably orgasm from penetration alone. The remaining 75-82% require some form of clitoral stimulation to climax during partnered sex.

Techniques for Incorporating Clitoral Stimulation

Fortunately, there are many ways to ensure the clitoris receives adequate attention during sexual activity:

1. Manual stimulation with fingers or hands
2. Oral sex focused on the clitoral area
3. Using vibrators or other sex toys
4. Grinding/rubbing motions during intercourse
5. Positions that allow for easy clitoral access

Experimenting with different techniques and communicating preferences to partners can dramatically increase pleasure and orgasm potential for many women.

Optimal Sex Positions for Female Orgasm

While personal preferences vary, certain sexual positions tend to be more conducive to female orgasm. These positions typically allow for deeper penetration, G-spot stimulation, and/or easy access to the clitoris.

Top Positions for Clitoral Stimulation

• Woman on top (cowgirl)
• Reverse cowgirl
• Seated face-to-face
• Spooning

Positions for G-spot Stimulation

• Doggy style
• Legs on shoulders
• Butterfly
• Elevated missionary

Experimenting with different positions and angles can help couples find what works best for their unique bodies and preferences. Don’t be afraid to use pillows, furniture, or sex aids to achieve optimal positioning.

The Power of Foreplay: Building Arousal for Better Orgasms

One of the most common mistakes couples make is rushing into penetrative sex without adequate foreplay. For most women, arousal is a gradual process that requires time and varied stimulation. Investing in foreplay not only increases pleasure but can significantly reduce the time needed to reach orgasm once penetration occurs.

How long should foreplay last for optimal female arousal? While there’s no universal rule, many sex therapists recommend at least 20-30 minutes of foreplay before penetration. This allows time for physical and mental arousal to build, increasing sensitivity and natural lubrication.

Effective Foreplay Techniques

• Sensual massage
• Kissing and caressing erogenous zones
• Oral sex
• Manual stimulation
• Dirty talk and fantasy sharing
• Teasing and building anticipation

Remember that foreplay isn’t just physical – building emotional intimacy and comfort is equally important for many women to fully relax into pleasure.

Mind-Body Connection: The Role of Mental Arousal in Female Orgasm

While physical stimulation is crucial, the mind plays an equally important role in female sexual response. Many women report difficulty orgasming when stressed, distracted, or not feeling emotionally connected to their partner. Cultivating mental arousal and presence can dramatically enhance physical pleasure.

Techniques for Enhancing Mental Arousal

• Mindfulness and focusing on physical sensations
• Exploring and sharing sexual fantasies
• Creating a relaxing, sensual atmosphere
• Building emotional intimacy outside the bedroom
• Addressing underlying relationship issues or stressors

For many women, feeling safe, respected, and desired by their partner is a crucial component of sexual satisfaction. Open communication about needs, boundaries, and desires can help create the mental and emotional space for pleasure to flourish.

The Orgasm Gap: Addressing Inequalities in Sexual Satisfaction

Research consistently shows a significant disparity between male and female orgasm rates during heterosexual encounters. This “orgasm gap” highlights the need for greater focus on female pleasure and comprehensive sex education.

What are the statistics on the orgasm gap between men and women? Studies indicate that in heterosexual encounters, men orgasm about 95% of the time while women orgasm only 65% of the time. This gap narrows significantly in same-sex female encounters, suggesting societal factors rather than biological differences are largely responsible.

Factors Contributing to the Orgasm Gap

• Lack of emphasis on female pleasure in sex education
• Cultural myths about female sexuality
• Insufficient knowledge of female anatomy and arousal
• Prioritization of male pleasure in sexual encounters
• Shame or discomfort discussing sexual needs

Addressing these issues through education, communication, and shifting cultural narratives can help close the pleasure gap and ensure more equitable sexual experiences for all genders.

Communication is Key: Talking About Sex with Your Partner

Open, honest communication about sexual needs and preferences is crucial for mutual satisfaction. Yet many couples struggle to discuss sex openly, leading to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for pleasure.

Tips for Effective Sexual Communication

• Choose a neutral time outside the bedroom to talk
• Use “I” statements to express needs without blame
• Be specific about what feels good and what doesn’t
• Ask questions and listen actively to your partner
• Frame discussions positively, focusing on enhancing pleasure
• Be open to feedback and willing to experiment

Remember that sexual preferences can change over time. Regular check-ins and ongoing dialogue can help ensure both partners’ needs are met as the relationship evolves.

Beyond Orgasm: Redefining Sexual Success and Satisfaction

While orgasms can be wonderful, fixating solely on climax as the measure of sexual success can actually diminish overall pleasure and intimacy. Many sex therapists encourage couples to broaden their definition of satisfying sex beyond just orgasm.

Alternative Measures of Sexual Satisfaction

• Overall pleasure and enjoyment
• Emotional connection and intimacy
• Exploration and adventure
• Stress relief and relaxation
• Body appreciation and self-confidence

By shifting focus from a single end goal to the entire journey of sexual exploration, couples can reduce performance pressure and cultivate more fulfilling intimate experiences.

Toys and Tools: Enhancing Pleasure with Sex Aids

For many women, incorporating sex toys can significantly enhance pleasure and increase orgasm potential. Far from being a sign of inadequacy, sex aids can be a fun and effective way for couples to explore new sensations together.

Popular Sex Toys for Female Pleasure

• Clitoral vibrators
• G-spot stimulators
• Couples’ vibrators
• Dildos
• Anal toys
• Nipple stimulators

When introducing toys to partnered play, communication is key. Discuss boundaries, preferences, and any concerns openly. Start slowly and be willing to experiment to find what works best for you as a couple.

Self-Exploration: The Importance of Masturbation for Sexual Health

Regular masturbation can play a crucial role in women’s sexual health and satisfaction. Self-pleasure allows women to explore their bodies, discover what feels good, and become more comfortable with their sexuality.

Benefits of Female Masturbation

• Increased body awareness and confidence
• Better understanding of personal turn-ons and orgasm triggers
• Reduced sexual frustration and stress
• Improved sexual response during partnered encounters
• Enhanced overall sexual satisfaction

For women struggling to orgasm with partners, solo exploration can be a valuable tool for unlocking pleasure potential. The knowledge gained through self-stimulation can then be communicated to partners to enhance mutual satisfaction.

Health and Lifestyle Factors Affecting Female Orgasm

While much focus is placed on sexual techniques, various health and lifestyle factors can significantly impact a woman’s ability to orgasm. Addressing these underlying issues can often lead to dramatic improvements in sexual response and satisfaction.

Common Factors Affecting Female Sexual Function

• Hormonal imbalances
• Chronic stress and fatigue
• Certain medications (e.g., antidepressants)
• Alcohol and drug use
• Poor diet and lack of exercise
• Underlying health conditions

If persistent sexual difficulties occur, consulting with a healthcare provider or sex therapist can help identify and address potential physiological or psychological barriers to pleasure.

Embracing Sexual Diversity: There’s No One “Right” Way to Experience Pleasure

Perhaps the most important thing to remember about female sexuality is that there is tremendous diversity in how women experience arousal, pleasure, and orgasm. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s perfectly normal and valid.

Celebrating Sexual Uniqueness

• Embrace your individual turn-ons and preferences
• Avoid comparing your experiences to others or porn
• Be patient and compassionate with yourself and partners
• Focus on what feels good rather than what you “should” enjoy
• Remember that all consensual adult sexual expression is valid

By letting go of rigid expectations and embracing the beautiful diversity of human sexuality, we open ourselves to deeper pleasure, intimacy, and self-acceptance.

How Long Should It Take a Woman To Come? How To Stop Worrying During Sex

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? All genders and sexual orientations are welcome, nothing is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. Today’s topic: how long does it take for a woman to orgasm?

Q: I have never been able to orgasm during sex. Intercourse feels amazing; I particularly like vigorous, deep thrusting. But even when it’s as rough as I like it, I never climax. I’m fine not orgasming every time, but it would be nice to have it happen once in a while! I always worry I’m taking too long so I just let him finish. How long does it take for a woman to orgasm during sex? And how do I have an orgasm with my partner?

A: Orgasming during sex is a tricky feat for most people who identify as women. Previously, I shared the five best sex positions for to orgasm during sex, and today I’m sharing more techniques to help you orgasm with your partner.

But because sex is so different for everyone, there is no set time it “should” take a woman to orgasm. According to Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, worrying about how long it takes you to orgasm can take you further out of the moment.

“When it comes to sex, averages are mostly useless, because individual variation and experience are highly varied,” O’Reilly says. “Just as the average time it takes to run a mile varies from person to person, the average time to orgasm also varies greatly.”

While you may feel stressed about how long it’s taking you to climax during sex, the first step is to try to forget the clock. Focus on what sensations feel good for you and what’s going on with your body. Here are some ways to help you get in the moment and stop worrying about orgasming during sex.

1. Try To Take The Pressure Off Orgasming During Sex

The more you relax into the moment, the more likely you are to have an orgasm. Though it can be hard in the moment to not be self-conscious, remember that there is no “right” length of time for a woman to orgasm during sex. Also, it’s important to remember that getting off doesn’t always have to be the goal during sex. Sex can still be pleasurable, even without orgasming.

“Sex isn’t a race,” O’Reilly says. “You don’t get a prize (or extra pleasure) for reaching orgasm faster than your partner or your friends. And the length of time it takes to reach orgasm can vary with your mood, sleep patterns, health, menstrual cycle, level of arousal and what you’re doing physically to produce an orgasm. For example, for many of us, if your partner is thrusting a penis or strap-on in and out of our vaginas, it will take longer to orgasm than if we’re rubbing or vibrating against the clitoris on the outside. “

Being kind to yourself and communicating your body’s needs to your partner can really be helpful. Let them know what you need to get there, and they’ll take the time you need to make it happen.

“Slowing down isn’t a bad thing,” O’Reilly says. “Some people find that when they slow down and take their time, they enjoy higher arousal and more powerful orgasms once they do arrive.”

2. Stimulate Your Clitoris

According to a 2018 study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine of 2,304 women, the majority of women report orgasming more when masturbating than during partner sex. Clinically speaking, this means most women need more than just penetrative sex to orgasm. In fact, per Elisabeth Lloyd’s The Case of the Female Orgasm, only 20-25% of women can climax from penetration alone. And that number may be even lower, as indirect clitoral stimulation frequently occurs during intercourse.

If you find you can orgasm from penetration, the best positions for orgasm are ones that allow for deep, powerful thrusting. Try standing while you drape yourself over the edge of the bed, a table, or a desk. Or you can try sex positions where your G-spot gets stimulated, like doggy style, X marks the spot, or spooning.

However, if you can’t finish from just penetration, (like 75-80% of people with vulvas) you’re going to need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. This isn’t a bad thing though! The combination of sensations — the fullness of penetration with the intensity of clitoral stimulation — can feel amazing. And fortunately, there are plenty of ways to give your clitoris some love during sex:

• Get in sex positions where your clitoris is easily accessible. Previously I shared that being on top, doggy style, and “the bridge” all work well. Having your clit accessible means you can easily give it stimulation during penetration.
• Have your partner stroke your clitoris with their fingers during sex. In certain positions, like with you on top, your partner can place their fingertips against your clitoris, to give you a surface to grind up against.
• Touch your clitoris yourself as you’re getting it on. Your partner might like watching you touch yourself, so this will be enjoyable for you both! If you’re shy about touching yourself in front of your partner, try it out in positions where you’re facing away from them, like doggy style or side-by-side.
• Use a vibrator or a vibrating cock ring to get clitoral stimulation. If there’s some distance between your torsos, you can easily hold a vibrator against your clitoris. Or you can hold a vibrator between your bodies. There are also couples toys that provide vibration for both parties.
• Find positions that create friction against your clitoris. If you put a pillow under your hips while in missionary, your body will create a nice angle against your partner’s pubic area.

3. Focus On Your Pleasure First

Research has also found that the average person who identifies as a man requires far less time to reach orgasm than the average person identifying as a woman. Meaning your partner may have an orgasm before you do. (But that doesn’t mean sex is over!) In fact, a 2020 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine of 645 heterosexual women in monogamous relationships across the world found that the average time it takes a woman to orgasm is 13.46 minutes. (And, it’s worth noting that only 31.4% of participants had an orgasm from penetrative sex.) Previous research has shown that it takes men 5-6 minutes to orgasm from vaginal intercourse.

If having sex with someone who has a penis, spend plenty of time focusing on you during foreplay. Have your partner go down on you or finger you before penetration. Try not to start having penetrative sex until you feel like you’re already on the verge of climax, or at least well on your way.

Once you’ve started having sex, you can try positions that aren’t as stimulating for your partner as they are for you. I know you like intense thrusting, but that type of movement generally leads to pretty quick orgasms for your partner. If you focus more on grinding rather than thrusting, you can usually slow your partner down. The sideways straddle and positions where you’re on top and work well for this purpose.

Or you can try taking breaks from penetrative intercourse to give your clitoris some time to catch up. Have your partner pull out and spend a few minutes stroking or licking your clitoris, or use a vibrator for extra stimulation. Having “time-outs” from sex can be a wonderful tease for both of you.

4. Talk To Your Partner If They’re Pressuring You To Have An Orgasm

For some women, the pressure to come during sex within a certain timeframe can actually come from their partner, not themselves. If you feel like your partner is pressuring you to have an orgasm, it’s important you talk about it.

“If your partner keeps asking ‘did you come?,’ let them know how this makes you feel,” O’Reilly says. “Do you feel stressed out? Does it distract you from the pleasure and ruin the mood? Do you feel as though they’re making your pleasure about their own performance?”

O’Reilly says that a lot of your partner’s pressuring can come form their own insecurities about how quickly they orgasm. “There is no ideal length of time to orgasm regardless of gender,” O’Reilly says. “Some people prefer sex to take a few minutes and some people like it to last for an hour — and it varies from day to day, so your communication about your desires needs to be ongoing.”

5. Use Lube. Really!

I can’t overstate the importance of lube. Most people’s experience of lube is limited to an old, sticky bottle of KY Jelly, but there are hundreds of high-quality lubes now on the market. Even if you feel adequately wet during sex, you should still try using lube. A good lubricant will feel wonderfully silky against your skin and will create nice gliding sensations during sex. It quite simply makes sex more enjoyable for everyone.

If you put a little lube directly onto your clitoris, it can make clitoral stimulation feel even more intense. Fingers and skin will slide over your clitoris instead of tugging at it, making you far more likely to orgasm. Many of the previously doubtful participants of my online orgasm course have become lube evangelists after discovering just how effective it can be.

6. Be Silly During Sex

Learning what your body needs to reach orgasm during sex requires exploration and experimentation. Many of my clients tell me that they’re embarrassed to try out new sex positions and techniques when they’re with a partner because it feels too awkward. It’s hard to experiment in the moment if you’re afraid of looking stupid or killing the mood.

What I suggest is to have a few sexy sessions explicitly for the purposes of exploring some of these tricks and positions. Tell yourselves that it’s OK to laugh or to bump into each other in the process. Make room for mistakes and mishaps. Take a few risks, and be understanding if things go awry. Even be a little silly and playful about it! If you set it up beforehand as one big experimental session, you won’t feel as uncomfortable trying out new things and talking to each other about what does and doesn’t work.

7. Try Not To Think About Orgasms Too Much

A lot of people get stuck up in their heads wondering if they’re getting close to reaching orgasm, or worrying that their partner is going to climax before they do. Too much thinking about how long your orgasm is taking only serves to delay the process and make your climax even harder to come by.

If you find yourself getting distracted by your thoughts, take a deep breath and redirect your attention to the pleasure your body is feeling. I know this can seem easier said than done, but really try to get in touch with all of the nuances of sensation. By focusing on pleasure rather than anxious thoughts, you’re much more likely to topple over the edge. If you’re feeling anxious, try expressing it to your partner and give your partner a chance to reassure you that they’re enjoying themselves just fine.

And, again, remember: You’re not “taking too long” to orgasm. You deserve to have an orgasm, just like your partner. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself, and trust me — your partner will appreciate the effort. If you want to learn even more about how to orgasm, check out Finishing School, my online orgasm class for women!

Experts:

Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, host of the ‘Sex With Dr. Jess’ podcast

Studies included:

Rowland, D. L., Sullivan, S. L., Hevesi, K., & Hevesi, B. (2018). Orgasmic Latency and Related Parameters in Women During Partnered and Masturbatory Sex. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 15(10), 1463–1471. doi: 10.1016/j.jsxm.2018.08.003

Bhat, G. S., & Shastry, A. (2020). Time to Orgasm in Women in a Monogamous Stable Heterosexual Relationship. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 17(4), 749–760. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2020.01.005

Shindel, A. (2010). A Five-nation Survey to Assess the Distribution of the Intravaginal Ejaculatory Latency Time among the General Male Population. Yearbook of Urology, 2010, 111–112. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0084-4071(10)79440-9

This article was originally published on Aug. 11, 2014

Female orgasm: No climax with vaginal penetration?

I’m a 29-year-old woman, and I don’t have orgasms with vaginal penetration during sex.

Is this normal?

Answer From Tatnai Burnett, M.D.

Yes. Although some women experience orgasm with vaginal penetration during sex, most women are orgasmic only during stimulation of the clitoris.

Differences in how women and men experience orgasms can lead to unrealistic expectations and a misinterpretation of the meaning of sexual response.

Effectively communicating with your partner to identify what you want in a sexual relationship can be a challenge. But it’s important to be open with your partner. Talk about your differences, so that you can learn about what each of you wants and needs from the relationship.

With

Tatnai Burnett, M.D.

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Show references

1. Lobo RA, et al. Emotional aspects of gynecology. In: Comprehensive Gynecology. 7th ed. Elsevier; 2017. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Nov. 21, 2019.
2. Rakel RE, et al., eds. Human sexuality. In: Textbook of Family Medicine. 9th ed. Elsevier Saunders; 2016. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Nov. 21, 2019.

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Determinants of female sexual orgasms

Abstract

Background

The pursuit of sexual pleasure is a key motivating factor in sexual activity. Many things can stand in the way of sexual orgasms and enjoyment, particularly among women. These are essential issues of sexual well-being and gender equality.

Objective

This study presents long-term trends and determinants of female orgasms in Finland. The aim is to analyze the roles of factors such as the personal importance of orgasms, sexual desire, masturbation, clitoral and vaginal stimulation, sexual self-esteem, communication with partner, and partner’s sexual techniques.

Design

In Finland, five national sex surveys that are based on random samples from the central population register have been conducted. They are representative of the total population within the age range of 18–54 years in 1971 (N=2,152), 18–74 years in 1992 (N=2,250), 18–81 years in 1999 (N=1,496), 18–74 years in 2007 (N=2,590), and 18–79 years in 2015 (N=2,150). Another dataset of 2,049 women in the age group of 18–70 years was collected in 2015 via a national Internet panel.

Results

Contrary to expectations, women did not have orgasms that are more frequent by increasing their experience and practice of masturbation, or by experimenting with different partners in their lifetime. The keys to their more frequent orgasms lay in mental and relationship factors. These factors and capacities included orgasm importance, sexual desire, sexual self-esteem, and openness of sexual communication with partners. Women valued their partner’s orgasm more than their own. In addition, positive determinants were the ability to concentrate, mutual sexual initiations, and partner’s good sexual techniques. A relationship that felt good and worked well emotionally, and where sex was approached openly and appreciatively, promoted orgasms.

Conclusion

The findings indicate that women differ greatly from one another in terms of their tendency and capacity to experience orgasms. The improvements in gender equality and sexual education since the 1970s have not helped women to become more orgasmic. Neither has the major increase in masturbation habits (among women in general). One challenge for future studies is to understand why women value their partner’s orgasms more than their own.

Keywords: female orgasm, masturbation, determinants of orgasm, gender differences, sexual trends, communication, self-esteem, sexual desire, sexual techniques, good relationship

The pursuit of sexual pleasure is a key motivating factor in sexual activity. An orgasm is an effective indicator of sexual pleasure and healthy sexuality. In addition, orgasms are important predictors of happy relationships, and related sexual satisfaction. Without a doubt, a better understanding of the predictors of female sexual orgasms would be a most valuable achievement, and would be one key factor in improving equality among women, and gender equality (World Association for Sexual Health, 2014).

Previous studies have provided consistent results that men experience orgasms in intercourse considerably more frequently than women. More than 90% of men usually experience orgasm in their intercourse; among women, this proportion is only around 50% (Darling, Haavio-Mannila & Kontula, 2001; Kontula, 2009). This is a problematic observation from the perspective of both sexual rights and sexual health frameworks. Given the importance of orgasms to many people’s sexual health and pleasure, an increased focus on and understanding of women’s orgasm is valuable.

Although women have had more trouble than men in reaching orgasm, subjective descriptions of the event do not differ between genders (Meston, Levin, Sipski, Hull & Heiman, 2004).

The mental dimension of experiencing an orgasm seems very similar for both sexes. Meston, Levin, et al. (2004) reported that different studies have measured the duration of the female orgasm to be approximately 20–35 s. Both orgasm and vaginal stimulation have pain-suppressing effects (Komisaruk, Beyer-Flores & Whipple, 2006; Meston, Levin, Sipski, Hull & Heiman 2004).

Research has found that the capacity to experience orgasm during intercourse, and to a lesser extent in masturbation, is partly genetically determined (Dawood, Kirk, Bailey, Andrews & Martin, 2005; Dunn, Cherkas & Spector, 2005). An individual’s response to sexual pleasure during their life is a mixture of both the physical processes and the subjective responses to those processes. Some refer to the sensation of orgasm as being frightening; others speak of it as being the most exciting, fulfilling, and enjoyable sensation imaginable (Blackledge, 2004). Some women experience orgasm as the ultimate loss of control and consider it to be a vulnerability that should be avoided (Laan & Rellini, 2011).

It is sometimes suggested that orgasms may not be important for female sexual pleasure (Blackledge, 2004). The argument has been that women can be fully satisfied sexually without experiencing an orgasm. However, based on previous sex surveys, the most important single predictor of sexual satisfaction for women is without a doubt the orgasm (Kontula, 2009). If a woman did not have an orgasm in the latest intercourse, even 38% of women did not consider that intercourse pleasant. If they had an orgasm (or more than one), only a few women did not rate their intercourse as pleasant. This result concretely illustrates how crucial the role orgasms play in women’s assessment of the quality of sex they are having.

Female orgasms are also important for men. Men enjoy their partners’ orgasms, and they feel that they have the physical responsibility to stimulate their female partner to orgasm (Salisbury & Fisher, 2014). Opperman, Braun, Clarke, and Rogers (2014) found that both female and male participants felt responsible for their partner’s pleasure and ultimately their orgasm and, reciprocally, that their partners felt responsible for theirs. The most common concern reported by both male and female participants in Salisbury’s and Fisher’s study (2014) in regard to the lack of a female orgasm in sexual interaction focused on the male partner’s judgment of himself as a lover and the associated negative impact that the lack of a female orgasm would have on his self-esteem. Male participants reported judging themselves negatively if they were unsuccessful in their attempts to produce a female orgasm. Better knowledge of the predictors of female orgasms could therefore promote sexual well-being in both partners.

Finland is one of few countries with nationally representative surveys of sexual activities and values among the adult population. According to many international indicators, social progress is well advanced in Finland. In relation to social well-being, the European Quality of Life Survey gave the highest rates of happiness in Europe to Finland and Denmark. This has some implications for sexual values and activities. Sexual images and values are evolving to reflect a more affirming and liberal approach to sexuality.

Women have a unique position in Finland in international comparison. An important enduring element in Finnish society is the equal- and independent position of women. This can be seen in the realm of politics, education, paid work, and the division of labor in the home. The rate of women working full time in Finland is the highest in Western Europe – partly thanks to the extensive public childcare that is the right of every child.

Based on the Gender Equity Index (GEI), introduced by Social Watch, Finland is number one in the world in gender equity, along with Sweden. In education, Finland has been several times number one in the world regarding the results of the Programme for International Students Assessment (PISA) evaluation (60 countries) and OECD. Women outnumber men in higher education, and comprehensive sex education is at the highest level in Europe (Kontula, 2010).

Women’s right to be the initiators of sexual interactions was supported by 94% of Finnish men and 90% of women already in 1992 (Kontula & Haavio-Mannila, 1995). This support for female sexual autonomy has only increased since then (Kontula, 2009). This social and educational progress has created positive circumstances for sexual activities also among the aging population (Kontula, 2013).

During the last four decades, there have been major shifts in Finnish sexuality. Two nationally representative surveys of sexual behavior and sexual attitudes carried out in 1971 and 1992, showed that people’s attitudes have become more liberal; sexual behavior more equal; women sexually more active; and women’s sexual satisfaction in particular had increased during the 20 years between these two surveys. One of the main causes of this positive change (Kontula & Haavio-Mannila, 1995; Kontula & Kosonen, 1996) is estimated to have been the increasingly copious, open, and versatile treatment of sexuality in various media sources.

Over the last 20 years, the key shift in sexual culture in the West has been the opening up of the private sexual sphere into something that is now part of the public sphere (Kontula, 2009). This is manifested in the public proliferation of images of scantily clad people, intimate stories about well-known celebrities and personalities, and new technological breakthroughs in pornography. Sex and nudity are a natural and everyday part of public media culture. Sex is for everyone, even though not everyone has an equal opportunity to engage in it.

In many respects, sexual trends in Finland before the 2000s correspond to research data compiled previously in Europe on the same topic (Sandfort, Hubert, Bajos & Bos, 1998). The broader shift that has occurred in the West has meant a greater number of sexual partners before forming a committed relationship; lower levels of commitment in relationships; increased masturbation; an increase in lifetime partners and parallel relationships; and increasing commonness of oral and anal sex.

Objective

The aim of this article is to present the predictors of one of the greatest present-day challenges in sexual life in Finland, namely female orgasms. This study includes long-term trends, and the determinants of female orgasms. The aim is to analyze various factors associated in female orgasms, including personal importance of orgasms, sexual desire, masturbation, clitoral and vaginal stimulation, sexual self-esteem, communication with partner, and partner’s sexual techniques.

Methods

Design

In Finland, five national FINSEX sex surveys, based on random samples from the Central Population Register, have been conducted, so that all Finns have had an equal opportunity to be selected into the sample. Respondents are representative of the total population within the age range of 18–54 years in 1971 (N=2,152), 18–74 years in 1992 (N=2,250), 18–81 years in 1999 (N=1,496), 18–74 years in 2007 (N=2,590), and 18–79 years in 2015 (N=2,150). In total, these surveys involve 10,637 respondents, 4,482 men and 6,155 women. The basic aim of these sex surveys has been to follow trends regarding a number of sexual issues.

The response rates were 91% (1971), 76% (1992), 46% (1999), 43% (2007), and 36% (2015). The higher response rates in 1971 and 1992 were due to the face-to-face interviews carried out at respondents’ homes. In 1999, 2007, and 2015, the data collection was carried out by Statistics Finland as a mailed survey (because of lower costs), which resulted in lower response rates.

The impact of the lower response rates in the 1999 and 2007 studies, as compared to the 1971 and 1992 surveys, has been evaluated by analyzing the ways in which people of particular birth cohorts have responded to the same questions concerning their own youth. The representativeness and comparability of the later data in relation to the 1992 data remained quite good, except in the case of male respondents over the age of 55. The later 1999 and 2007 findings provide a slight underestimation of male sexual activity over the age of 55 (sexual initiation somewhat later, and sexually a bit more monogamous in their life time), compared with the previous similar male cohorts of the respondents. Among women, a similar selection bias was not found. Data for 1999–2015 have been weighted to correct for the response bias.

More detailed information on the sampling, interviewing and questionnaires is available in Kontula & Haavio-Mannila (1995), Haavio-Mannila, Kontula & Kuusi (2001), Haavio-Mannila and Kontula (2003), and Kontula (2009).

Another data set (ORGSEX) of 2,049 women between 18–70 years of age was collected in May 2015 via a national Internet participant pool that includes 50,000 respondents. Sexual pleasure and orgasms were the core measures in this survey. The survey was conducted by Taloustutkimus Oy – Computer Aided Web Interview. Data were weighted as being representative of the whole population of Finland.

Measures

The FINSEX questionnaires contained more than 100 questions, and many of them had a number of sub-sections. The following questions (translated from Finnish) selected from the questionnaire, specifically referred to orgasms in women:

How old were you when you reached orgasm through masturbation?

How old were you when you had an orgasm for the first time during sexual intercourse?

Do you usually have an orgasm during sexual intercourse?

Did you have an orgasm during your most recent sexual intercourse?

1. Including two or more orgasms.

By what type of activities do you usually experience orgasms during sexual intercourse?

1. By stimulating clitoris

2. By stimulating vagina

3. By stimulating them both

The ORGSEX questionnaire involved 21 questions and included some social background questions. Questions referring to measures of orgasm comprised:

Do you have orgasm during sexual intercourse?

Did you have an orgasm during your latest sexual intercourse?

1. Including two or more orgasms.

Do you have an orgasm more easily via masturbation or via intercourse?

Do you orgasm while you are stimulated via oral sex?

In what sexual position do you most easily have an orgasm?

What helps you the most to have an orgasm?

1. Strong personal arousal

2. Partner’s strong arousal

3. Favorable undisturbed and erotic situation

4. Using enough time for love making

5. A skillful and attractive partner

6. Oral or manual stimulation

7. Use of a sexual toy or massage-machine

8. Can’t tell

What issues prevent you from having an orgasm during love-making?

1. Eight alternatives to select

How important do you consider it to be to have an orgasm in love-making?

How important do you consider it to be in love-making to provide an orgasm to your partner?

In what ways have you learned to intensely enjoy love-making and to experience orgasms?

1. Eight alternatives to select

The analyses were conducted using IBM SPSS Statistics Version 23. In addition to descriptive analysis (–), we examined the main determinants of the female sexual orgasms with regression analyses (–). There were also a few chi-square tests.

Percentage of women who experienced orgasm most of the time or always during sexual intercourse by age group and survey year. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate standard errors. FINSEX 1971–2015.

Percent of women achieving orgasm in the last intercourse by whether they agree they are sexually skilled and by ease of discussion of sexual issues with partner. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘Do you agree or disagree with the following: I consider myself quite skilled in sexual issues’. Question on easiness of discussion of sexual issues with partner collapsed into two categories: (1) at least quite difficult=quite or very difficult; (2) not difficult=not very difficult or open and easy. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1992–2015.

Table 1

Associations between socio-demographic, lifestyle and relationship history characteristics and orgasmic frequency in women

	Coeff	p	N
Socio-demographic
Education (years in education)	−0.007	0.185	5477
Income	0.028***	0. 000	5389
Importance of religion	0.083***	0.000	5420
Attendance of religious services	0.041*	0.015	3258
Sexual attitudes: Woman has a right to initiate sex	0.111***	0.000	5505
Physical exercise	0.039**	0. 009	4120
BMI	0.008	0.131	5474
BMI squared	−0.001+	0.060	5474
Alcohol consumption (6=never)	0.001	0.872	5457
Heavy drinking (6=never)	0.034*	0.014	4192
Smoking (3=smokes)	0. 047*	0.033	5500
Psychological symptoms (24=many symptoms)	−0.038***	0.000	5179
Psychological distress, anxiety (3=often)	−0.203***	0.000	5339
Couple relationship characteristics & history
Number of steady relationships (1+)	0. 057+	0.091	4578
Number of persons fallen in love with (0+)	0.015	0.301	5403
Number of sex partners within last 5 years (0+)	−0.001	0.813	3071
Number of sex partners lifetime (1+)	0.000	0.816	5289
Has had extra-marital relationship(s) (1=no)	0. 045	0.465	4249
Current relationship: married (vs. single)	0.476***	0.000	5529
Current relationship: cohabiting (vs. single)	0.422***	0.000	5529
Current relationship: LAT (relationship, not cohabiting) (vs. single)	0.399***	0.000	5529
Duration of current relationship	−0. 002	0.479	4422
Children: own children (1=has children)	0.408***	0.000	5509
Children: household children (1=lives children)	0.214***	0.000	4243
Importance of orgasm and sexual satisfaction
Importance of sex for the couple relationship (4=very important)	0.445***	0.000	4382
How important to have orgasm in love-making (4=very important)	1.026***	0.000	952
How important to provide orgasm to partner (4=very important)	0.573***	0.000	953

Table 4

Determinants of female orgasmic capacity: ORGSEX-data

Percentage of women reporting orgasm during their last intercourse by age group and survey year. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate standard errors. FINSEX 1971–2015.

Women’s orgasmic capacity by the age at first masturbatory orgasm. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange line. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow line. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green line. Intercourse defined as penile-vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1999–2015.

Women’s orgasmic capacity by timing of last masturbation. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bars. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bars. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bars. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1971–2015.

Women’s orgasmic capacity by the type of stimulation they report as usually contributing to orgasm. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bars. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bars. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bars. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘How do you usually achieve orgasm during sexual interaction?’ Sexual interaction defined as sexual intercourse, oral sex, or manual sex. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 2015.

Women’s orgasmic capacity by how often partner has given oral sex. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bars. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bars. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bars. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘During intercourse, how often you have been given oral sex by your partner during past 5 years?’ Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1992–2015.

Percentage of women experiencing orgasm during the last intercourse by how often partner has given oral sex and by how easy or difficult it is to have discussions of sexual issues with one’s partner. Exact phrasing of the questions: ‘Is discussion of sexual issues easy or difficult with your partner?’; ‘During intercourse, how often you have been given oral sex by your partner during past 5 years?’ Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1992–2015.

Women’s orgasmic capacity by whether they agree they are ‘sexually quite skilled’. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange line. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow line. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green line. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘Do you agree or disagree with the following: I consider myself quite skilled in sexual issues’. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1992–2015.

Results

Trends in female orgasms

A major challenge in Finnish sexuality is the declining trends in female sexual satisfaction and orgasm. For women, having an orgasm from intercourse is much less guaranteed than for men. In 2015, 46% of women said that they always or nearly always had an orgasm when having intercourse, with only 6% of women reporting always having an orgasm. Nearly one in six (16%) women had an orgasm approximately half of the time and 38% of women had orgasms fairly infrequently at most. Over 16 years (1999–2015), women’s orgasmic capacity has declined considerably, from 56% of women experiencing orgasm in intercourse always or nearly always in 1999 to 46% in 2015 (χ²(20)=84.8, p=0.000). The decline is apparent among both young and middle aged women. In similar fashion, the proportion of women who have had an orgasm in the latest intercourse has diminished from 1999.

Difficulties experiencing orgasms has affected a large proportion of women. In 2015, 9% of women reported never having had an orgasm from intercourse. In earlier studies, the proportion of women who had never experienced an orgasm from sexual intercourse was 4–7%, which is lower than in 2015. Furthermore, according to the 2015 findings, 14% of young women (under the age of 35) in particular had never had an orgasm from intercourse. This is a higher figure than in previous surveys.

It is of particular note that in 2015, only 38% of young women (vs. 42% in 2007 and 53% in 1999) reported that they usually had an orgasm during intercourse, whereas 43% said that they had an orgasm fairly infrequently at most. Similar proportions were observed in the ORGSEX survey, in which ‘love-making’ was the adopted concept instead of intercourse. Again, only 38% of women aged 18–24 ‘usually’ had an orgasm in love-making. In previous surveys, middle-aged and older women up to retirement-age reported a higher incidence of orgasms than women in younger age groups, and there is a similar trend nowadays. In the framework of sexual well-being and sexual health, decline in orgasmic capacity is a major sexological challenge in the 2000s.

The proportion of people who had an orgasm the last time they had intercourse was close to the proportion of women who said that they generally had an orgasm from intercourse. Of the women surveyed in 2015, 54% had had an orgasm the last time they had intercourse. However, there was also some confusion surrounding what an orgasm is or should be. A total of 6% of women were not able to tell whether or not they had had an orgasm the last time they had intercourse.

These findings indicate that women differ greatly from one another in terms of their tendency or capacity to experience orgasms. A significant proportion of women (19%) experienced persistent problems experiencing any orgasm from intercourse, whereas many (8% of all women and 11% of young women) found it easy to have multiple orgasms. The variation in sexual enjoyment among women was drastically greater than among men. It is particularly intriguing that women are now experiencing greater, not fewer, problems regarding orgasms as compared to past decades, even though the opportunities for gender equality and sexual enjoyment in society now seem to be better than ever before.

First experiences of orgasms

Most young women experience their first orgasm during masturbation. In 2015, half of the youngest generation of women (under the age of 35) had experienced their first orgasm in masturbation before the age of 15. The age of first orgasm achieved via masturbation was in steady decrease from the oldest generation (over the age of 55) to the youngest generation. The average age at first orgasm in masturbation declined significantly from 22 years (age group 65+ years) to 15 years (age group 18–24 years). The average age had fallen in the 2000s by 3.5 years among young women in comparison with the oldest age group. In the oldest generation, only one-tenth of women had experienced their first orgasm in masturbation before the age of 15. There was a continuous declining trend in this age from one survey to the next and from one generation to another (r=0.365, p=0.01).

In 2015, 2015a quarter of young women had their first orgasm in masturbation before the age of 13 and one-tenth before the age of 10. Some women reported that they had their first orgasm in masturbation as early as the age of 5. However, many women had not experienced an orgasm until they were in their 40s or 50s. The oldest reported ages of participants experiencing their first orgasm via masturbation were women in their 60s. At the population level, there seems to be a huge variation in the age of first orgasm in masturbation.

Women are significantly increasing their rate of masturbation over time, and across surveys (Kontula, 2009). Although masturbation provides women with a lot pleasure, orgasms from intercourse have been found to be more pleasurable. In Mah and Binik’s (2002) study both men and women recall orgasms experienced with a partner present as having been significantly more pleasurable and satisfying than those occurring during solitary masturbation.

The trends in women’s first orgasms achieved during intercourse are very different from their first orgasms achieved via masturbation. To some, it may be surprising how large the discrepancy is between some women’s age at first intercourse, and their first time experiencing orgasm through intercourse. Although women had their first intercourse, on average, at the age of 17, only a third of women had their first orgasm at intercourse under the age of 18. A quarter of women, but three quarters of men, had achieved an orgasm in the same year as their first intercourse. Altogether 40–50% of women had their first orgasm at intercourse only after the age of 20.

This proportion has remained quite stable since the 1992 survey. In addition, the average age of first orgasm during intercourse was similar in older and younger generations, namely around 20–21 years of age. The outcome was that the difference between the age at first orgasm in intercourse, and the age of the first orgasm in masturbation had increased. For women, it was common that there was a few years’ gap between the time of their first intercourse, and the time of their first experience of orgasm in intercourse.

Most women have had their first orgasm during masturbation. Half of the women surveyed had their first orgasm during masturbation at least 5 years before their first orgasm during intercourse, and 17% of women 10 years before their first orgasm in intercourse. Only about 10% of women had their first orgasm during intercourse before experiencing an orgasm via masturbation.

The implication of these results is that women have usually been able to practice their orgasms for several years before experiencing them for the first time in intercourse. It has been hypothesized that this type of physical practice should enable them to achieve orgasms in intercourse more easily (McCabe, 2009). However, in these data, this expected positive outcome did not exist ().

Table 2

Associations between sexual experiences, sexual skills and couple relationship characteristics with orgasmic frequency in women

Determinants of female orgasms

Poor determinants of female orgasms

We examined the association between several socio-demographic, lifestyle and personal characteristics and orgasmic capacity in the pooled FINSEX data. Due to the large data set, the associations often proved to be statistically significant. However, in many cases the differences in the ability to experience orgasms between different groups of women were relatively small. The coefficients from the regression analyses and p-values are reported in , and in the following, we focus on those results which appeared to influence women’s orgasmic capacity the most. Women’s social background was only weakly associated with the ability to experience orgasms. Women had orgasms almost with the same frequency, regardless of their education or income levels. On the other hand, religious women were more likely to experience orgasms in the intercourse than were those women who regarded religion not at all important. The association was much weaker when church attendance was considered. Somewhat contrasting, more self-determining attitudes toward sexuality issues (‘woman has the right to make sexual initiatives’) were also associated with higher orgasmic capacity.

There were a number of other lifestyle and personal characteristics that were not associated or only very weakly associated with the frequency of orgasm. These factors included physical exercise, psychological symptoms, smoking, and moderate alcohol use. On average, 46% of women with BMI below 20 experienced orgasm always or almost always during intercourse, compared to 51% among normal or slightly overweight women, or 50% among obese women (age-adjusted figures). Mild mental health problems were not linked to the problem of having orgasms, while constant feelings of anxiety and distress were associated with decreased likelihood of experiencing orgasms.

Relationship and sexual partner history

Women’s relationship and sexual partner history appeared to have no effect on the ability of women to have orgasms (). Women’s orgasm frequency did not vary according to the number of steady relationships that they had had in their lifetime, nor did it vary according to the number of times in life they had fallen in love. The same was also true regarding the number of sexual partners in recent years, or over their lifetime. In addition, women’s ability to achieve an orgasm was not associated with being unfaithful at some point in their current relationship.

However, sexual experience with a steady partner was positively associated with the frequency of having orgasms. Only 40% of single women usually experienced orgasms in intercourse when the respective figure for women in marital, cohabiting or living apart together (LAT)-unions was above 50%. Women who were in newer relationships of only a few years at most had more frequent difficulties achieving orgasms than other women. This was partly related to their young age, and the effect of union duration disappeared once we controlled for the age.

How important orgasms were considered

The ORGSEX survey asked questions about how important women considered attaining an orgasm themselves to be in love-making, and how important they felt it was to produce an orgasm to their own partner. The results are presented by women’s relationship status ( and ).

Importance of experiencing orgasm during love-making for women in different relationship statuses. LAT=Living-apart-but-together (i.e. in relationship but not cohabiting). Marriage includes persons living in registered unions. Definition of love-making left to the participant. Error bars indicate 95 CI. ORGSEX 2015.

Women’s responses to question of how important it is to produce an orgasm in their partner during love-making. Women grouped by their relationship status. Exact wording of the question: ‘How important it is for you to produce an orgasm in your partner during love-making?’ Definition of love-making left to the participant. LAT=Living-apart-but-together (i.e. in relationship but not cohabiting). Marriage includes persons living in registered unions. Error bars indicate 95 CI. ORGSEX 2015.

Around 60% of women considered having an orgasm at least ‘rather important’ in love-making, though less than 20% rated it as ‘very important’. Additionally, 10% of women thought that an orgasm was ‘not at all important’ in love-making. In fact, they usually rated their partner’s orgasm to be more important than their own.

Almost all women said that it was at least ‘rather important’ to bring their partner to orgasm. Half of women considered their partner’s orgasm ‘very important’. This proportion was much higher than the proportion of women considering their own orgasm to be ‘very important’. In Nicholson and Burr’s (2003) study, women reported that it was important to ‘give’ their male partners pleasure and orgasm, possibly at the expense of their own pleasure. In Salisbury’s and Fisher’s study (2014) women asserted that their orgasm was more of a ‘bonus’ than a goal of sexual interactions.

Only single women valued orgasms differently (they more often could not tell how important their partner’s orgasm might be), but even they consider a future partner’s orgasm more important than their own. Based on these results, women were in their sexual interaction quite altruistic – at least according to them. Two-thirds of the women who thought that their orgasm was not at all important considered their partner’s orgasm at least rather important.

Evaluation of women’s own orgasms in love-making was highly associated with their orgasmic capacity. Of the women who considered their orgasms to be very important, almost 90% usually had orgasms during intercourse, and also had one in their latest intercourse (). These results are in line with Laan and Rellini (2011) who determined that women who found it easier to orgasm were also more likely to regard orgasm as important. Of the women who considered their orgasms very important, almost 30% had also a multi-orgasmic experience in their latest intercourse. This association may be partly explained by highly pleasurable sexual experiences prompting women to place a higher value on orgasms.

Women’s orgasmic capacity by how important orgasm is to them. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bar. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two’ or ‘Yes, more than two’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bar. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two’ or ‘Yes, more than two’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bar. Definition of love-making is left to the participant. Error bars indicate 95 CI. ORGSEX 2015.

At the other end of the orgasm-evaluation scale, were women who did not consider their orgasms to be important. Most of them had difficulties experiencing orgasms. Only 13% of these women had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. Because these women rarely experienced orgasm, it makes sense that they did not value orgasms that much in their love-making. Laan and Rellini (2011) note that a low female value on own orgasm can be considered a sensible coping strategy, in that, by placing less value on orgasms if they are difficult or impossible to have, they will not be disappointed by their sexual experiences.

Female orgasmic capacity was also related to how important women considered sex to be for the happiness of their current relationship. If they considered sex to be important or very important for the happiness, they reported having had an orgasm in their latest intercourse more often, and were more likely to usually achieve orgasm in intercourse (, p<0.001). They reported having experienced an orgasm even more often if they also rated their relationship as being happy. Of women who were very happy in their current romantic relationship, and who also considered sex very important for happiness in a relationship, 76% reported having had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. If they did not value sex highly in their relationship, and they had a relationship that was not happy, only 29% reported orgasmic experiences in the most recent intercourse. Happy relationships were associated with orgasm capacity (, p<0.001), but less so if women did not consider sex to be important to the happiness of their current relationship.

Orgasms and sexual techniques

In sexual therapy, a common assumption has been that physically practicing masturbation or sexual pleasuring will increase a women’s ability to experience orgasms in intercourse.

These two sexuality survey data (FINSEX and ORGSEX) did not provide clear support for this assumption. The age at which women began to have sexual intercourse was statistically significantly associated with the overall ability to experience orgasms during sexual intercourse (, p<0.001). Among early initiators (first intercourse by age 17) 53% of women had orgasms almost always during the intercourse, among women who had had their first intercourse at later age (18–24 years), the respective figure was 47%. Of women who had their sexual initiation after age 25, 44% were able to usually have orgasm during the intercourse.

On the other hand, age at which women first had an orgasm in masturbation was not statistically significantly related to orgasmic capacity. This was true also regarding if the women had one orgasm or several orgasms in their latest intercourse. In addition, masturbation frequency was negatively (not statistically significantly) associated with how often women experienced orgasm during intercourse. In fact, those women who had masturbated never or only a very long time ago, were more likely to experience orgasms during intercourse (, p<0.001).

One masturbation-related assumption is that women achieve orgasm via masturbation more easily than via intercourse. These data provide some confirmation of this hypothesis. Nearly half of women (48%) reported that they achieved orgasm more easily in masturbation than in intercourse. However, 14% of women achieved an orgasm more easily via intercourse than masturbation, while 17% achieved it similarly easily in both ways, and 20% of all women could not tell by which technique they found it easier to have orgasms.

The ease of achieving an orgasm via masturbation versus intercourse had no clear association with how often women had experienced orgasms in intercourse, or if they had had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. There was a low frequency of orgasm in intercourse among women who much easier achieved orgasm via masturbation (only 38% of them had an orgasm in the latest intercourse), this association was statistically significant (r=0.37, p<0.001). On the other hand, there was hardly any differences in the orgasmic capacity between women who achieved orgasm more easily via vaginal sex as compared to women who achieved orgasm somewhat more easily via masturbation. Women who could orgasm equally easily both via masturbation and vaginal sex were the most orgasmic in the latest intercourse (90%) ().

Women’s orgasmic capacity by whether orgasm is easier to achieve in masturbation or in love-making. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bars. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two’ or ‘Yes, more than two’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bars. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two’ or ‘Yes, more than two’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bars. Definition of love-making is left to the participant. Error bars indicate 95 CI. ORGSEX 2015.

A continuous international debate has been if women achieve orgasm more easily via stimulating their clitoris or via stimulating their vagina (Paget, 2001). Paget continues that the discussion can follow the spirit of Masters and Johnson regarding clitocentrism, including that a woman can orgasm only via clitoral stimulation.

Blackledge (2004) tells that sexual arousal typically occurs as a result of the activation of various nerves. Typically when orgasm occurs, it is the result of one or more of three genital nerves being activated. These are pudendal (clitoris), pelvic (vagina) and hypogastric (uterus, cervix) nerves. These nerves are all genitospinal nerves – they run from the genitalia and then project into a person’s spinal cord.

In FINSEX, women were asked if they usually achieve an orgasm during sexual intercourse via stimulating of the clitoris, of the vagina, or both. More than half of women (54%) responded that they usually achieve an orgasm via stimulating both the clitoris and vagina (). Orgasms that result from such stimulation have been called blended orgasms (Ladas, Whipple & Perry, 2005) or fusion orgasms (Otto, 1999). A third of women (34%) reported that they usually attained an orgasm via stimulating the clitoris. Only 6% of women reported that they usually have an orgasm via stimulating the vagina. Also 6% of women told that they had never experienced an orgasm in intercourse.

How women typically achieve orgasm during sexual interaction by age group. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘How do you usually achieve orgasm during sexual interaction?’ Sexual interaction defined as either intercourse, oral sex, or manual sex. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 2015.

The technique of how women usually stimulated their sexual organs (clitoris or vagina) had a strong association
with their orgasmic capacity in intercourse (). Those women who typically experienced vaginal stimulation during intercourse had orgasms more often (64%) than did other women. Women who usually achieved orgasm via stimulating the clitoris achieved orgasm less frequently during intercourse (40%). In this clitoral stimulation subgroup were the biggest group of women (8% of this group) who had never had an orgasm during intercourse. This raises the question of whether a recommendation to focus mainly on clitoral stimulation in sexual intercourse is a helpful instruction to all women and their partners.

Sexual techniques that include active partner involvement are effective to female orgasmic capacity. One of these is concentrating on one’s partner for a longer time. Duration of intercourse was strongly associated with women’s ability to experience orgasm during intercourse (, p<0.001). Those women whose love-making usually lasted a minimum of 15 min achieved an orgasm more easily than women whose intercourse was shorter). However, if intercourse lasted for longer than 20 min, the additional effect on increasing a woman’s probability of experiencing an orgasm was marginal. An exception to this was women who experienced an increased capacity for multiple orgasms in cases of intercourse lasting for more than 1 h.

Another example of behavior that is associated with higher orgasmic frequency is the sexual position of partners in the most recent intercourse experience (results not shown in the Tables). If women were more active – including engaging in woman-on-top position, or using several positions with the partner during that intercourse – two-thirds of women achieved one or more orgasms during the intercourse. If their partner was more active, including man-on-top positions, less than half of women achieved orgasm. Sanchez, Kiefer, and Ybarra (2006) have suggested that women with an orgasm disorder tend to behave according to the traditional female scripts, in which the woman remains passive, does not let go mentally, and waits until her male partner evokes feelings of arousal and pleasure in her.

How partners can promote female orgasms

One way in which partners can promote female orgasms is by providing women with oral sex. Partner’s manual stimulation to female sexual organs has almost the same effect. The more frequently women receive oral or manual sex from their partners, the more often they have orgasms (, p<0.001). However, oral sex does not stimulate all women to achieve orgasm. Even among the women who received oral sex most of the time in sexual activity, only 60% usually achieved orgasm during intercourse, and 69% experienced orgasm in their latest intercourse.

Some women find requesting oral stimulation from their partners to be difficult. In Salisbury’s and Fisher’s study (2014), the majority of women believed that asking for, or engaging in clitoral stimulation in the presence of their male partner would not be welcome.

If a woman experienced low sexual desire, the role of oral sex in promoting orgasm was notable. Of women who very often lacked sexual desire, only around 20% experienced orgasm in their latest intercourse if their partner did not provide oral sex. 50% of low desire women, who received oral sex from their partner frequently, had an orgasm.

If women did not lack sexual desire, the role of oral sex in promoting orgasm was much less notable. Oral sex was associated with an orgasm somewhat, but even without oral sex, most of these women had orgasms in their latest intercourse. Sexual desire and related arousal were associated with female orgasms, even when sexual techniques were limited.

The role of oral sex in promoting female orgasm was notable also in couples who found it difficult to discuss of sexual issues. If discussions of sexual issues with partners were quite difficult, oral sex provided by the partner had a very significant association with women’s orgasm in their latest experience of intercourse (65% vs. 27%). It is possible that oral sex could significantly compensate for the missing sexual communication between the partners. In cases where sexual communication was open and easy, the role of oral sex in orgasms was much less remarkable (76% vs. 61%). Good sexual communication contributed to female orgasms almost as much as favorable sexual techniques.

The role of female sexual self-esteem and communication with the partner

Another significant factor in female orgasms was sexual self-esteem. In the ORGSEX survey, women who agreed with the statement that they were good in bed had orgasms much more frequently in comparison with women who disagreed with this statement (, p<0.001). Of those women who agreed completely with this statement, around 80% reported having orgasms most times in their intercourse, and as many had orgasmic experiences in their latest intercourse. If women disagreed completely that they were good in bed only 1 in 10 had had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. Orgasmic capacity is obviously one key factor by which women estimate how good they are in bed.

For some women orgasmic capacity is a learning process. Regarding their sexual self-esteem, they have learned to accept themselves and their body. They have also learned how to concentrate completely on love-making. They have often been successful in preventing stress, and to stimulate a high arousal in their intercourse. In addition, if they have had a skillful and desirable partner, they can be highly orgasmic.

In the FINSEX survey, one question asked if women agreed that they are quite skillful in sexual issues. This type of sexual self-esteem was positively associated to orgasm. Of women who agreed with this statement around 70% had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. This type of self-esteem was more strongly associated with orgasm ability than open communication regarding sexual issues with the partner (56% had orgasm).

If women did not consider themselves sexually skillful and their sexual communication with their partner was quite difficult, only about one-fifth of them experienced an orgasm in their latest intercourse. This suggests that both sexual self-esteem and communication skills with their partner are important factors that can be associated with orgasmic capacity.

In addition to sexual self-esteem, and particularly in relation to a positive assessment of sexual skills, active female sexual communication with their partner can make a big difference to orgasmic capacity. In this study, high sexual self-esteem had a very positive association with orgasms in the latest intercourse, even when sexual communication with a partner was problematic. This suggests that even in relationships that would not be considered positive, women may experience a lot of sexual pleasure if they have high sexual self-esteem. But in cases where their sexual self-esteem was low, good sexual communication with the partner significantly helped a woman’s ability to achieve an orgasm.

These FINSEX results are in line with the results of the ORGSEX survey. The ORGSEX survey included a question regarding how women had learned to enjoy love-making more intensely, and to experience orgasms. Almost half of the women reported that they had achieved this by learning to accept themselves and their body, or by concentrating completely on love-making. This may suggest that women who had felt responsible for their own pleasure had been more successful in gaining pleasure during intercourse.

Another factor that made a difference was the partner. A third of women reported that they had learned to experience orgasms by finding a desirable and skillful partner. A fifth of women had gained more orgasms by learning how to increase her partner’s pleasure. A process of mutual pleasure had presumably promoted more pleasure for women.

Factors that were frequently associated with a low or high probability of having orgasms

There were a number of factors that seemed to complicate female experiences of orgasms. In the ORGSEX survey a question asked ‘what prevents or inhibits respondents the most in achieving orgasm’. The most frequent responses were ‘fatigue or stress’ and ‘difficulty concentrating’. Most women selected reasons that related to their own qualifications. The next most frequent responses were ‘unskillful partner’ and ‘partner is too fast’. One-fifth of women attributed their orgasmic problems to their partners.

Based on the results of the FINSEX survey, a low frequency of female orgasm is in many ways related to the interaction with the partner. Only about a quarter of women had an orgasm in their latest intercourse if they did not consider sex at all important for the happiness in relationship; if they did not have any physical intimacy in their relationship; if they often lacked sexual desire; if their partner never had given manual or oral sex; if their intercourse was very often painful; or if their partner very often experienced an orgasm too soon.

Other factors related to low frequency of orgasm in the most recent intercourse included feeling the relationship was quite unhappy; not considering oneself sexually desirable; continuous vaginal dryness; partner’s frequent erectile problems; illness hampering sexual interaction; and intercourse that lasted at maximum only 5 min. For these women, the rate of orgasm at previous intercourse was only about one-third.

Finally, we examined the associations between various factors and female orgasmic capacity in joint regression models to see, if these factors influenced women’s ability to achieve orgasm even when we controlled the effects of other factors. Results are presented in (for FINSEX-data) and (for ORGSEX-data). It appears that there were a number of factors that were associated with high probability of having orgasms. These can be classified into three groups:

Table 3

Determinants of female orgasmic capacity: FINSEX-data

The first of these was related to some types of innate skills that enabled women to enjoy sexual experiences. These women had experienced their first orgasm in intercourse at a younger age than others; they did not practice active masturbation; and they had orgasms at least as easily in intercourse as in masturbation. In addition, they did not experience pain in sexual intercourse.

A second group includes factors such as good sexual skills and high sexual self-esteem. These women considered themselves good in bed. They got orgasms due to powerful arousal, and they were able to concentrate completely on love-making. They also considered it important to get orgasms in love-making and they also considered sex important for the happiness in their relationship. These women had both great mental and bodily capacity to let go and to experience orgasms.

A third group of factors relates to a woman’s skillful partner. The partner was able to promote female orgasm if he was not too fast. There was enough time to concentrate on sexual pleasure with the partner and communication with the partner was open enough in sexual issues.

Although many variables had highly statistical associations with women’s orgasmic capacity, differences in the orgasm frequency between women were not necessarily very large and in some cases diminished once age of the respondents and time of the survey was controlled for. These variables included frequency of intercourse and oral sex.

Multi-orgasmic women

Women show a greater propensity than men to experience multiple orgasms as a result of sexual intercourse, or other sexual stimulation. Women have not been shown to experience the same kind of post-orgasmic latent state of arousal as men do, who have just ejaculated. There is some evidence that this is probably connected to the different hormonal functions of men and women (Blackledge, 2004).

In the FINSEX survey, 12% of women reported that they had two or more orgasms in their latest intercourse, and in the ORGSEX survey 11% of women reported the same. In the ORGSEX survey, half of these multi-orgasmic women (5%) had more than two orgasms. In the FINSEX survey, these figures were relatively stable across data from 1999, 2007, and 2015. There was no increase in the proportion of multi-orgasmic women.

Almost half of the women surveyed were multi-orgasmic if they used almost continuously in their sexual activities some sexual toys and aids, or if their love making lasted for more than an hour. One-third of women were multi-orgasmic if they reported intercourse every day, or if they agreed completely that they were good in bed. One quarter of women were multi-orgasmic if they considered orgasm in intercourse very important; if they experienced sexual desire more than once a day; or if they preferred having intercourse every day. Women achieved frequent orgasms just as easily via masturbation as love-making.

In many respects, multi-orgasmic women displayed strong sexual interests, and were sexually very active. This goes back to the question of whether strong sexual interests resulted in these women being multi-orgasmic, or if it is a case of the very positive sexual experiences encouraging their broad spectrum of sexual appetites. There is probably no definitive answer. The only thing that can be said is that strong sexual interest and sexual enjoyment often seem to be concentrated in the same women, and this is probably comparable to men.

Discussion

Regarding the issue of gender equality, Finland is ranked among the leading countries in the world. There has been a major improvement in gender equality since the 1970s. Social and public discourses on the subjects of gender and sexuality have underscored women’s sexual rights and the right to sexual enjoyment. Positive female sexual expectations have been increased, for example, by progress in comprehensive sexuality education; increasing sexual knowledge; and by improved sexual health services. Altogether, these were expected to enable advancing sexual pleasures to women.

Feminists in particular have assumed that improving gender equality should have a positive impact on female sexual pleasure, including orgasms. This assumption could be tested in this study by analyzing long term trends in female orgasms from the 1970s to the present time. The result was that there has been no improvement in female orgasmic capacity since the 1970s. Improving gender equality has not helped women to experience progress in this key factor of female sexual pleasure even in the 2000s. This finding is contrary to previous expectations.

Young women (under 35 years of age) have had even more difficulties in having orgasms during intercourse in the 2000s. This trend continued to the year 2015. It is a mystery why the difficulty of having female orgasms has increased in the 21st century, at a time when public information about how to better achieve orgasms proliferates. The internet and women’s- and health magazines are full of instructions regarding the pursuit and cultivation of sexual pleasure. In addition, women’s rights to sexual pleasure have been acknowledged without any doubt. That has not given any boost to improving sexual pleasure.

There have been new lifestyle- and value factors that can have limited young women’s orgasmic capacity than in preceding generations. Stressful and busy lifestyles have resulted in a lack of time; reduced strength of private life; and in increasing mental pressures that have caused difficulties to concentrate on intimate life and sexual interaction. Although there has been a parallel major increase in masturbation habits, it has not helped young women to achieve more frequent orgasms.

The findings of this study indicate that women differ greatly from one another in terms of their tendency and capacity to experience orgasms. Inequality in sexual enjoyment is much greater among women than among men. There are a number of women who are multiorgasmic, but at the same time, there are a large number of women who have never had an orgasm during intercourse. Almost half of women do not orgasm most of the time when they have intercourse. This inequality among women warrants a more comprehensive study about the predictors of female orgasms.

There have been claims that high proportions of women probably do not report their orgasms because they report, or the surveys ask about orgasms only via vaginal intercourse. In this framework, low orgasmic prevalence could be true, based on a limited understanding of the concept of intercourse. In this study, the concept of intercourse was adopted in the FINSEX surveys but in the ORGSEX survey, the concept adopted was love-making thus allowing respondents to decide more freely what they include in the concept. However, asking about orgasms in love-making gave exactly the same results regarding orgasmic prevalence during intercourse. Women seem to connect similar components in their mind relating to intercourse as to love-making.

The promotion of self-stimulation via masturbation (Komisaruk et al., 2006) is assumed, especially in sexual therapy, to contribute to an increase in female orgasms. In this study, women did not have more frequent orgasms by increasing their current practice of masturbation, or by increasing experiments with different partners in their lifetime. Orgasms did not seem to be something that could be learned via increasing physical experiences or via frequent masturbation. Women masturbate nowadays much more actively than in the 1970s, but that reform has not helped them to increase their orgasmic capacity in intercourse. On the contrary, women who had not been active in masturbation lately experienced orgasms even more regularly in their intercourse.

There has been a continuous declining trend regarding the age of first orgasm in masturbation, but not regarding the age of the first orgasm in intercourse. Nowadays, half of women have had their first orgasm in masturbation at least 5 years prior their first orgasm in intercourse. They have had more time to practice their sexual pleasure via masturbation before their first intercourse, but that has not helped them to achieve an orgasm any younger during intercourse. This result diverges from expectations.

There are even some findings that masturbation is associated with poorer relationship quality, greater risk of female sexual arousal disorder, impaired sexual satisfaction, impaired orgasm (especially vaginal orgasm) and with other adverse processes (Brody, 2007). In this study, female relationship quality was not associated to masturbation frequency but general sexual satisfaction was lower among women who masturbated actively. Active masturbators considered their intercourse more often very pleasant than women who masturbated less often.

Those women who had orgasms much more easily via masturbation had problems to experience it in intercourse. The ease of attaining an orgasm via masturbation was not a good measure of orgasmic capacity during intercourse. Half of the women surveyed usually had an orgasm in intercourse via stimulating both clitoris and vagina, and only one-third usually via stimulating clitoris. Based on these results, the role of the clitoris is not as dominant in sexual stimulation towards orgasm in intercourse as has been expected.

Meston, Hull, Levin, and Sipski (2004) have argued that there are no consistent, empirical findings that psycho-social factors alone differentiate orgasmic from anorgasmic women. This study can add more information about how these factors are actually associated with more- or less frequent orgasms. These factors include women’s sexual desire, sexual values, sexual self-esteem, skills in communication, and their partner’s qualities.

The keys to achieving more frequent female orgasms were identified in this study as being in the mind and in the relationship. These factors and capacities included how important orgasms were considered personally; how high was sexual desire; how high was sexual self-esteem; and how open was sexual communication with the partner. Sexual self-esteem included how sexually skillful and how good in bed women considered themselves. Other positive factors of orgasmic capacity were the ability to concentrate on the moment; mutual sexual initiations; and a partner’s good sexual techniques. All of these are factors that should be paid attention to in sexual therapy.

Based on regression analysis, women who had a high orgasmic capacity had an innate talent to react with arousal to sexual stimulation in intercourse. They were also sexually skillful and they had good sexual self-esteem. Thanks to their good sexual experiences, they valued orgasms in their intercourse and in their relationship. Very often they also had a skillful sexual partner, who provided them good stimulation and was able to discuss sexual issues openly. They were able to maintain a positive circle that even increased their orgasmic capacity.

In short, a relationship that felt good and worked well emotionally, and where sex was approached openly and appreciatively, was associated with orgasmic capacity. These same factors were even more pronounced among multi-orgasmic women. In addition to this, they realized more frequent and long-lasting love-makings and sexual role plays. Thanks to their highly pleasurable intercourse, they had a high and versatile sexual motivation.

Although masturbation has not stimulated women to achieve more frequent orgasms, they surely need a variant sexual stimulation to become aroused during sexual intercourse, and also to have an orgasm. An orgasm is a complex response to socially contextualized physical and mental stimuli and, for the individual, there will be a variety of sources of effective stimulation, both physically and mentally (Lauman, Gagnon, Michael & Michaels, 1994). Based on ideas of Levin (2014), the factors that are involved in influencing the pleasure of orgasms are the novelty of sexual stimulation; genital stimulation with concomitant stimulation in and around the anus; the use of sexual fantasy; the duration between orgasms; and the duration and expertise in the sexual stimulation leading up to the climax are all reasonably well-known enhancing behaviors.

In this same spirit, Paterson, Jin, Amsel, and Binik (2014) have found that a greater build-up of sexual arousal desire prior to orgasm significantly predicted orgasmic pleasure for both genders. They recommend enhancing the experience of orgasm by delaying it until having reached high levels of sexual arousal and desire. According to Adam, Génet, Day, and Sutter (2015) orgasmic women reported significantly more mindfulness (they were capable of concentrating) during dyadic sexual activities. By the same token, Laan and Rellini (2011) argue that women’s orgasm consistency in all forms of partnered sexual activity is associated with sexual autonomy. In addition, letting go of control is mandatory for an orgasm to take place (Georgiadis et al., 2006).

Teaching effective techniques of stimulation may well improve the orgasmic response of anorgasmic women (McCabe, 2009). Ignorance of the best techniques; reluctance to use them; and/or an inability to communicate preferences for sexual stimulation to the partner contribute to low orgasmic frequency during sexual interaction (McCabe, 2009).

Based on the results of this study, one key issue regarding female orgasmic capacity is a personal sexual motivation. Women who have a high sexual motivation; desire to have sex; communicate sexual issues openly with their partner; make sexual initiations; and are active in sexual intercourse are more likely to experience orgasms during intercourse. Sexual activity means, for example, using woman-on-top positions in intercourse, and providing pleasure to the partner. Activity in sexual communication helps women to get the kind of stimulation that they need for arousal towards an orgasm from their partner.

Many studies have reported the importance of good sexual communication. Empirical studies have consistently demonstrated that anorgasmic women reported experiencing significantly greater discomfort with communication about sexual activities (Kelly, Strassberg & Turner, 2004). A lack of communication between partners about their sexual relationship appears to be a factor related to anorgasmia in women (McCabe, 2009).

Past failure to achieve orgasm can elicit self-defeating and distracting thoughts about whether a woman will be able to achieve orgasm this time. A woman may mentally monitor her own- and her partner’s response, unable to allow herself to relax and enjoy the sexual stimulation for its own sake. She becomes a spectator who demands her body’s response (McCabe, 2009). When someone is not fully engaged in love-making, it is no surprise that the enjoyment it brings is not what it could be.

Public discourses and social expectations in today’s society have mental implications for women and for their capacity for pleasure. The persistent risk discourse that relates to sexual issues may have created a situation in which women increasingly view sexual interaction through a more rational lens, rather than casting their body and soul into enjoying sexual experiences with a partner and realizing their own desires. Excessive rationalism is the biggest enemy of orgasms. Simply put, thinking does alight desire, but orgasms come when thinking ceases. The inability to implement this formula may be one key issue that particularly young women are increasingly experiencing regarding orgasms.

One outcome of female infrequent orgasms can be their lower sexual desire in comparison to males. In the spirit of the social exchange theory (Sprecher, 1998), one could think that the greater rewards that men achieve on average from sexual interaction could explain their stronger sexual desires. This might make sense, in that men experience orgasms so much more often and more easily in intercourse compared to women. In other words, men might be more motivated to seek intercourse as something that offers them particular rewards. This viewpoint was supported also by the finding that women who enjoyed sexual intercourse, and got more pleasure out of their sex lives than other women, were also less likely to experience lack of sexual desire. If women were to enjoy intercourse more and have orgasms more regularly, the desire gap between the genders should decline.

This study has its limitations. The wording of the items could be more exact. There could be other items that would measure more comprehensively the predictors of female orgasms. One example is differentiating between vaginal and clitoral orgasm. They have different psychological pathways and processes (Brody & Costa, 2009). In addition, this study does not enable causal explanations between the predictors and the dependent variable, the frequency of female orgasm. There is a need for a longitudinal study. Some of the trends and associations could be better understood by conducting qualitative studies.

One more challenge for future studies is to understand why a great number of women value their partner’s orgasm much more than their own. According to their responses, women’s sexual behavior includes quite often altruistic components. Women assumingly would value their own orgasms more if they would get them more easily and more frequently. Sexual pleasure can increase female sexual motivation. By actively promoting female orgasms, we could create a positive circle that would favorably increase female sexual pleasure.

5 sex positions that make it easier to orgasm-Health News , Firstpost

Here’s a cheat sheet – a few sex positions that, given the right mood, might make it easier for a woman to orgasm.

We’ve discussed why some women can’t orgasm and we’ve talked about the many ways you can overcome anorgasmia in the first two parts of this series. But here’s a cheat sheet – a few sex positions that, given the right mood, might make it easier for a woman to orgasm. Whether you’re interested in this for yourself or your partner, you’ll do well to remember one thing while experimenting with sex positions. There is no “right” way to have sex. So try variations no one has ever written about, laugh when you roll off the bed accidentally, hug your partner if one of you pulls a muscle and just goof around to take the pressure off. Once you’ve dropped the expectations, it’ll get easier to be in the moment and just enjoy yourself. Alright, onto your positions now! 

Representational image.
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay.

1. Doggy style

How to: Get on all fours, facing away from your partner. Have you partner get on his knees and enter from behind. If you have a big, sturdy sofa, try this over there. You will have the added benefit of leaning on the back of the sofa so your arms won’t get too tired. 

Doggy style always gets mixed reviews when it comes to women but then again, it has a lot to do with the angles. Height might be a superficial feature but it can make or break certain sex positions. So while we are recommending doggy style for the deep penetration it allows, remember to adjust with pillows if there is any need. The success of this position would also depend on how you and your partner fit. Some women can find this position extremely uncomfortable and make them want to rush to the loo – believe us when we say, you’re not the only one. It’s okay to skip over to another option if it makes you feel that way. 

2. Thigh tide

How to: Have your partner lie down while you get on top. The key is to get your legs in a “scissoring” position, with one of his legs between yours (ask him to bend one leg so you can slide your knee under it). This way, during penetration, your clitoris would rub against his thigh. You can also do this lying down if you don’t want to control the speed and depth.

This position is all about clitoral stimulation, which is the easiest way to reach an orgasm for most women. It’s all about the grind, and the woman is the one who has to control it – so don’t feel at all embarrassed about humping your partner’s thigh like an animal. That’s the whole point of the position. The combination of penetration and clitoral stimulation might help close the gap between you and that orgasm. 

3. Woman on top

How to: Pretty basic. Have your partner lie down, and get on top. You can hold onto the headboard for balance or just put your hands on your partner’s chest. You can keep the lower part of your legs flat on the bed during intercourse. A variation worth trying is to only rest your feet on the bed while your pelvis moves. You can also use a few pillows to prop your partner up a bit if it helps your angle of penetration.

The woman-on-top position has always been a favourite among women for the kind of control it gives them. Then again, depending on what you like in bed, you might not even want the control. Here’s what you can do to make things interesting, though – play with yourself. As mentioned, clitoral stimulation is your best bet here. So touch yourself, or since your partner’s hands are free, ask him to do it. Remember, an orgasm has many health benefits and it is totally worth the time and energy you invest in it. 

4. Prone bone 

How to: Lie down on the bed on your stomach, and turn your head sideways. You can prop a pillow or two under your hips for deeper penetration. Have your partner lay on top of you, propping himself up with the help of his arms on either side of you.  

It’s a bit less popular compared to the other positions but definitely still worth a try. No matter what position you get into, you usually don’t feel the entire weight of your partner ever. But this position is different that way. The whole idea is for you to feel the weight of your partner’s body. Some women find it to be relaxing – if woman-on-top is all about taking charge, this is completely on the other end of the spectrum. You can also easily add clitoral stimulation to the mix – it would be easier to do it yourself since your partner still has to make sure they don’t squish you completely. 

5. Standing sex 

How to: The classic way would be to lean against a wall, have your partner stand in front of you, prop one of your legs up to make penetration easier. There will definitely be friction with the wall behind you, so keep your shirt on or prop yourself up against a table or countertop instead. An excellent variation, mix doggy style and standing sex. You can stand in front of a table, place your hands on it and bend a little forward. Have your partner hold onto your hips and enter from behind.  

Barring a situation of an extreme height difference between you and your partner, this position can be a lot of fun. Also, moving out of the bed area can help spark excitement as well. Plus, if you push your hips a little ahead in the classic way, you may increase chances of stimulating your G-spot. Again, get your hands involved and tease your clitoris to take things up a notch. 

Bonus tips: 

1. You can try a dozen different sex positions but they won’t work if your head isn’t in the game. Don’t be entirely focused on trying to orgasm, but don’t start making your grocery list in your head either. Be present, feel all the sensations, focus on what each part of your body is feeling. Don’t let yourself be distracted by any other thoughts. 

2. If this seems tough, start by just thinking of sexy things, stuff that turns you on. If there is something specific that helps you orgasm while masturbating, try that when you’re with your partner while also involving him in it as much as possible. Situational anorgasmia can be frustrating, but there is a way to overcome it if you and your partner talk to each other candidly.

3. Make sure the environment in which you’re having sex is safe and secure. Your guard may be up if you feel like a roommate could walk in at any time or if you’re not entirely certain about your partner. So lock the doors, shut the blinds and curtains, and make sure you’re getting into bed with someone you trust!

There is a lot you can do to try and have an orgasm. But if nothing works, you must remember – it’s also okay to take a break from all the trying. It can be pretty exhausting! And not being able to have an orgasm is not the end of your sex life. An orgasm might be the destination but the journey can be just as enjoyable. Be loud, let your toes curl, scream out loud if that is what you feel like doing. It’s not like these reactions are only acceptable for when you reach your peak. Feel free to express yourself however you like, there is no rule book when it comes to sex. 

This is the final article in a three-part series on the female orgasm.

For more information, read our article on Orgasms.

Health articles in Firstpost are written by myUpchar.com, India’s first and biggest resource for verified medical information. At myUpchar, researchers and journalists work with doctors to bring you information on all things health.

7 reasons why women might not be able to orgasm | The Independent

For hundreds of years the male orgasm has been researched and studied but it was only in 1992 that the US National Institutes of Health only set up a programme to research vaginal health.

As such the female orgasm is remains shrouded in mystery and is often dismissed in societal discussions around sex and intimacy.

The NHS defines an orgasm as a feeling of intense pleasure that happens during sexual activity.

As a result of this discrepancy in public conversation, women are often left in the dark with regards to the details of the their anatomy, meaning that for some, sex isn’t always as pleasurable as it should be.

And those who struggle to orgasm might think there’s something wrong with them, when in fact the issue could be much easier to resolve than they might think.

Orgasm problems can be divided into two types: primary – when a woman has never had an orgasm – and secondary – when a woman has had an orgasm in the past, but can’t now. The general term applied to those who have difficulty reaching orgasm is anorgasmia.

The Independent spoke to a gynaecologist and a psychosexual therapist to uncover the seven reasons why women may not reach orgasm – and how to combat them.

1. Alcohol intake

Too much alcohol can impact the blood flow to your clitoris, which is, for most women, the part of the vulva that requires stimulation in order to reach orgasm, explains Dr Shree Datta, a gynaecologist for Intima.

“Smoking can have an impact, too,” she adds.

“So if you find yourself struggling to orgasm, think about how much you are drinking or smoking in relation to the severity of your symptoms.”

2. Communication issues

Being able to tell your partner what you want and how you like it is integral to good sex and reaching orgasm, notes Kate Moyle, psychosexual therapist for Lelo.

“Your partner is not a mind reader, and if you aren’t able to tell them, then they won’t necessarily know,” she explains.

“Being positive, non-critical, and encouraging is the best way to approach it. Not ‘you aren’t doing that right’, more ‘ I really enjoyed it when you X, could we try that again?’ or be direct and clear rather than ambiguous, so offering specific instructions that are easy for them to follow, or show them what would feel good by guiding their hands on your body.”

3. Lack of body confidence

Not feeling comfortable in your own skin can have an adverse effect on your sex life, says Moyle.

“This can inhibit our ability to be in the moment,” she explains.

“This is because negative thoughts prevent us from letting go and allowing the physical sensations to be the focus.”

You can read more about how to feel more body confident here.

4. Medical conditions

There are a number of medical conditions that can make it difficult or impossible for women to orgasm.

For example, multiple sclerosis can affect your ability to climax, notes Dr Datta.

“Make sure you seek treatment early to combat these conditions,” she adds.

Additionally, certain medications for pre-existing conditions could inhibit a woman’s ability to orgasm.

“Antidepressants and antihistamines can depress orgasms,” says Dr Datta, ”so make sure you regularly review the type and dose of medication you are taking with your doctor.”

5. Sexual stimulation

A simple explanation for a woman’s difficulty to orgasm could be the way they are being stimulated during sex.

This is one of the more common reasons that women don’t orgasm, says Moyle.

“The best way to work out what feels best for you, because although anatomy is similar, all bodies are different as are our preferences is self-exploration.

“This shouldn’t just be on your genitals, but all over your body to build pleasure and sensations.”

Additionally, it’s worth considering that most women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm and don’t climax from penetration alone, notes Dr Datta.

“With that in mind, sexual foreplay is important. Additionally, think about different positions and guided masturbation which may increase arousal.”

6. Social pressures

Social pressures such as stress, financial and work hardships, may affect your ability to climax during sex, explains Dr Datta.

“This can also include relationship problems, particularly if there is mistrust or conflicts that have not been addressed,” she adds.

In these instances, couples counselling, as well as sex therapy, could be helpful, Dr Datta suggests.

7. Mental wellbeing

Your mental wellbeing can also contribute to your ability to climax, says Dr Datta.

“For example, if you suffer from depression or anxiety, you may have difficulty reaching an orgasm.”

If you think this might be the case, you’re advised to seek help from a gynaecologist who will be able to prescribe cognitive behaviour therapy and counselling where appropriate.

Difficulty reaching female orgasm | healthdirect

It’s not uncommon for a woman to never have experienced an orgasm during sexual activity. It is common for women not to have orgasms. This does not mean they do not have a satisfying sex life. If you have never had an orgasm, don’t worry. Reaching an orgasm through sexual activity is a skill which needs to be learned.

It’s quite natural for a woman to have experienced orgasms many times before, only to go through periods of time where orgasms are less frequent or absent.

Masturbation

If you are concerned about not reaching an orgasm, you may want to try some self-stimulation. You should learn how your genitals feel and what feels good. When you know how to please yourself, you can start to share your knowledge with your partner.

Masturbation is completely normal and healthy. Society’s views on masturbation have changed a lot over the years and it is understood as being part of a healthy lifestyle — there is much less taboo and sense of shame about masturbation.

Some women like to use objects, such as sex toys, to masturbate with. Everyone is different and will find that different things stimulate the genitals in different ways. Discovering what is pleasurable for you may take time and practice, but it is an important part of getting to know your body and finding out what pleases you.

Factors that may affect orgasm

Difficulty reaching an orgasm when you’ve managed to before can be a result of several things. Common causes may include:

• hormone changes, for example after childbirth or during menopause
• diseases
• gynaecological issues including painful intercourse
• not being stimulated enough
• medicines (such as antidepressants)
• worries or fears about having sex
• lack of self confidence
• use of recreational drugs, alcohol or smoking
• vaginal dryness
• relationship worries
• stress or emotional distress
• ageing

Getting advice

You should visit your doctor if you have any concerns about your sexual performance, especially if it has changed for no apparent reason.

Your doctor may ask you questions about your sex life, relationships and medical history. They may also perform some tests if they think your medicine or a health condition may be the underlying cause of your concerns.

Your doctor may also refer you to a therapist who deals with sexual issues, as well as advising you on the best steps to take to resolve the issue.

Lifestyle changes

Your doctor will treat any underlying medical conditions and may recommend hormone therapy if you have been through menopause. You could try couples counselling or sex therapy.

Leading a healthy life may improve your chances of having a healthy sex life. You could try:

• losing weight (if you are overweight)
• reducing the amount of alcohol you drink
• not using illegal drugs
• taking regular exercise
• if you smoke, try to cut down or quit
• don’t stop any prescribed medication until you have spoken to your doctor

Not sure what to do next?

Difficulty reaching female orgasm? Why not use healthdirect’s online Symptom Checker to get advice on when to seek medical attention.

The Symptom Checker guides you to the next appropriate healthcare steps, whether it’s self care, talking to a health professional, going to a hospital or calling triple zero (000).

Why Can’t I Orgasm? – 15 Reasons Why Women Can’t Reach Climax

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For plenty of people, climaxing is anything but easy. And while these issue face people of all genders, according to the Cleveland Clinic only 10 percent of women can easily achieve orgasm. The other 90 percent have to deal with a lot of outside factors that can impede their ability to climax, including what sex position they’re in to what they face when they’re at work. If you’re struggling to climax, there are some surprising reasons why you’re not reaching orgasm, and addressing these issues may just help you achieve (and enjoy!) a more satisfying sex life.

Like Area 51 and the Bermuda Triangle, the female orgasm is considered to be something of a mystery. (This isn’t a coincidence, of course, but the result of scientific researchers systematically ignoring women and their ailments.) Some experts even think that the G-spot (which has long been believed to be the key to achieving vaginal orgasm) is a myth. Rather than getting off through vaginal penetration, it’s possible a person needs clitoral stimulation to reach the big O. Every woman is built differently, of course, and figuring out just what does and doesn’t work for you — or what factors from your daily life could be affecting you in the bedroom — can be a complicated business. But just because something’s difficult doesn’t mean you should give up hope.

If you’re one of the many women struggling to reach climax, here are just 15 problems that may be affecting your ability to orgasm and what you can do to solve them.

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1

You have high anxiety.

Anxiety can cause intrusive thoughts that may make it difficult to orgasm. In fact, a 2018 survey from Valparaiso University in Indiana indicated that more than half of the women surveyed cited anxiety as a reason for why they struggled to achieve orgasm. “Often people find themselves ‘getting in their head’ during sex or masturbation,” Danica Mitchell, sex therapist and social worker, tells Woman’s Day. “There are a lot of societal narratives that get in the way of enjoying sex and masturbation, and guilt and shame are common mental barriers.”

According to Mitchell, confronting those narratives that induce shame and guilt may help in feeling less anxious and more connected to your body during pleasure. “Seeing a couples or sex therapist can help in addressing any of this,” she says.

2

Your oxytocin levels are too low.

Oxytocin — also known as the “feel good” or “love” hormone — goes hand-in-hand with orgasms, Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., marriage and sex therapist, tells Woman’s Day. If your body isn’t producing enough of it, climaxing can be more difficult.

Stress can be a major reason for low oxytocin production, but spending more time with your partner, looking into their eyes, holding hands, and kissing have all been proven to boost production of the hormone. Have a furry friend? Cuddling with a pet may also cause the release of oxytocin.

3

You don’t drink enough water.

Drinking water throughout the day can prevent everyday health problems like fatigue and constipation, and can also help you climax in the bedroom, Eden Fromberg, D.O., founder of Holistic Gynecology New York, tells Woman’s Day. The arousal tissue that extends into the connective tissue system needs to slide and glide in order to work its O-inducing magic, and it can’t do that without fluid, she explains.

To make sure you’re adequately hydrated, down an extra glass or two of water before you plan a romp in the sack, especially if you’ve had cocktails, since alcohol can cause dehydration.

4

You don’t make noise.

Being vocal during sex has been proven to work wonders for women, as it can allow you to orgasm longer, harder, and more often, Laurel House, relationship expert and author of Screwing the Rules, tells Woman’s Day. So when something really turns you on, say it — whether it’s through a moan, quietly saying, “Right there,” or screaming, “Yes!”

If that feels uncomfortable after a few tries, House suggests heightening your sensory experience. “Take in the feeling of skin-to-skin contact; enjoy the pressure of your partner’s body pressing down on yours,”she says. Embracing these sensations will help you tune out the world and focus on maximizing your experience.

5

You don’t feel sexy.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, chances are you’re going to have a more difficult time feeling good during sex. “One common reason that women may fail to orgasm is because they are overthinking. They are in their heads,” Moushumi Ghose, owner and founder of Los Angeles Sex Therapy, tells Woman’s Day. “This might be because of body image insecurities. They are concerned that their partner is going to notice their belly rolls or their cottage-cheese thighs, which is taking them out of the moment.”

Overcoming your insecurities takes time and work, and it won’t happen overnight. “Developing a mindfulness practice, or a breathing practice to help you stay centered, is one of the easiest ways to start breaking the pattern of overthinking today,” Ghose explains. “Journaling and writing to get thoughts out of your head is awesome, too, and having daily practices around these things can be quite helpful and liberating.”

6

You’re afraid to lose control.

When you’re taught to be in control of every aspect of your life, it can be tough to do the exact opposite in bed. But refusing to let go could be the reason you’re unable to orgasm because, well, orgasms tend to take over as they move throughout your body. But if just the thought of that gives you heart palpitations, don’t freak out — as Jenny Block, author of O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm, tells Woman’s Day, you don’t lose complete control over your body. At most, your body may shake and your vaginal wall muscles contract, she says.

So when you’re in the moment, and sensations start to build, keep breathing and try to let your body go with it. If you feel like you still need help letting go, talking with a sex therapist may help.

7

You’re in pain.

According to Mitchell, if a woman is experiencing pain or discomfort during sex, it will be incredibly difficult for her to orgasm. “Vulvodynia and Vaginismus are disorders in women that cause pain and often go undiagnosed for long periods of time,” she explains. “If there is a physiological reason why sex or masturbation is uncomfortable, it’s important to start treatment there.”

If you suspect you could be suffering from Vulvodynia or Vaginismus, pay a visit to your doctor to get yourself checked out.

8

You don’t masturbate.

How often you pleasure yourself can directly affect your chances of reaching orgasm when you’re with a partner(s). According to Van Kirk, a woman’s ability to fantasize and use her imagination during masturbation can help her unleash her creative inhibitions in bed, and it helps her learn exactly how and where she likes to be touched. According to a 2017 study in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, nearly 40 percent of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and that’s something you may only discover you need during masturbation.

To increase your chances of achieving orgasm with a partner, Block recommends masturbating a few times a week. And while some women may not feel comfortable using sex toys, they can greatly enhance your sexual experiences and may help you achieve orgasm if you’re having trouble. Start with something small, like a bullet vibrator, then check out this guide if you feel like exploring.

9

You don’t have enough lubrication.

The 2018 Valparaiso University survey also indicated that insufficient lubrication affected nearly a quarter of women who had difficulty reaching orgasm. “Lack of lubrication may make sex less enjoyable and make orgasm difficult,” Mitchell explains. “Always have your favorite lube on hand as it can easily make partnered or solo sex more pleasurable.”

Lubes are available at drugstores and online, and you can consult this handy guide for expert tips on the best lube for every occasion.

10

You’re not vocal about what you want.

You’re not a mind reader, and neither is your partner(s). So staying silent about what really turns you on isn’t going to help you climax. Plus, every woman is different, so movements and angles that feel amazing for one person may not do it for another. “It’s important to feel comfortable and safe with a partner and be able to communication the types of sexual acts or touch you like,” Mitchell says. “While selfishness often has a negative connotation in context, it’s OK to be ‘sexually selfish,’ meaning you are responsible for your pleasure and orgasm. Seek behaviors that feel good, listen to your body, ask for what you want, and guide your partner in pleasing you.”

The lesson here: speak up. “Sometimes a groan or a touch of the hand can make all of the difference,” Van Kirk says. If they still don’t get it, tell them directly, or move their hand exactly where you want it.

11

You forgot to pee before sex.

Everyone knows to pee right after sex to help prevent a urinary tract infection, but it’s smart to go beforehand, too. “It can be incredibly hard to reach orgasm when your bladder is full,” Block says. The reason is simple: instead of being in the moment, you’re constantly feeling the pressure to pee, and praying you don’t do it in bed.

If there’s no way you’re going to make it to the end, Van Kirk suggests slipping out of bed to dim the lights, lighting a candle, and encouraging your partner to masturbate while you take a quick pee break.

12

Your medication is interfering.

Medications that cause a spike in prolactin levels — a protein that reduces libido — could be the culprit behind your inability to climax, Van Kirk says. “Typically, blood pressure medications, birth control pills, and antidepressants are the main culprits,” she adds. Antihistamines may also work against you because they can reduce your ability to self-lubricate and make sex comfortable.

If that’s the case, make sure you have plenty of lubricant and talk to your doctor about a possible medication switch if problems persist.

13

You spend most of the day sitting.

Chaining yourself to your desk may make your boss happy, but it’s bad news for your pelvic muscles. Sitting all day shortens them, and that can lead to pelvic pain that could make it more difficult to orgasm, says Van Kirk.

To prevent problems, she suggests setting an alarm as a reminder to move every half-hour to hour during the work day. (Some activity trackers and smart watches will buzz your wrist to encourage 250 steps every hour.) Able to slip into a private office or conference room? Stretch your hip flexors with back bends, squats, and butterfly stretches.

14

You wear high heels.

Not only are high heels often painful to walk in, wearing them can also have deforming effects on your psoas muscles, which connect with muscles and nerves that lead to your pelvic floor, genitalia, and related organs, Fromberg explains. “When your psoas muscles are sticky and tense due to prolonged high heel wear, they can’t transmit the arousal message necessary for orgasm,” she adds.

Avoid wearing them as much as possible, opting for more comfortable, supportive footwear instead.

15

You’re too focused on results.

Too much emphasis on achieving orgasm can make sex feel like a goal-oriented task, turning intimacy into more work than pleasure. “When we try too hard to orgasm or we focus too much on the outcome, not only orgasm, but pleasure, arousal, sensuality and connectivity slips away and eludes us,” Ghose says. “People often say, ‘I’ll focus harder,’ when the antidote to that is actually to focus less and try to enjoy and be more present. If a woman tries too hard to achieve orgasm, then chances are she’s missing out on the pleasure and the joy of her own body.”

According to Ghose, you should avoid the temptation to focus on results rather than enjoy the moment. “Developing some practices around sensuality can be helpful, like reading erotica, buying some nice lingerie or sex toys to experiment with,” she says. “The key is getting out of your head and out of your own way, and there are many fun and exciting ways to do it. You just have to have an open mind, and of course, be relaxed and enjoy the journey!”

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How to bring a girl to orgasm: the model has revealed the secrets

A model from Colorado, 45-year-old Nita Marie, shared some tips to help a girl achieve orgasm. According to her, during sex, guys should not be distracted.

Thus, the woman recommends turning off the TV or other devices in the room. You also need to make sure in what mood your significant other is and how her day went. This is reported by the Daily Star (to see the photo, scroll the news to the end).

• Ask her what she wants

“Ask your partner what she likes, if she’s shy, tell her she can moan louder or point your hand where she wants to. talking about sex will make her feel more comfortable and ultimately lead to good sex and incredible orgasms, ”said Marie.

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• You need to be gentle

“Start with gentle caresses, a kiss behind the ear, light touches to awaken the power of pleasure.Also learn to kiss one of her nipples while playing with her clit. The more you focus on pleasing her, the more it will turn her on and give you a chance to climax. ”

• Find the G-spot

“ Try to find her G-spot when you get into it. This is a little higher than the entrance to the vagina “, – said Marie.

” Even if you want, do not cum before her. It takes a woman an average of 20 minutes to reach orgasm.If you do it first, you won’t have the energy to give her the orgasm she deserves. Take a break – this is normal, “the woman said.

As OBOZREVATEL reported earlier, psychologist, sexologist and co-host of the Exy project Natalya Yezhova revealed a secret that will help prolong sexual intercourse. There is a so-called” compression “technique, and it will help both partners to get much more pleasure from sex

Jet orgasm: how to bring a girl to ecstasy

Many people consider jet orgasm an urban legend.They say there are a couple of women who managed to finish so that the mattress then had to be dried on a radiator. But this can only be achieved by a Master of Sexual Sciences who defended his thesis on stimulation of the G-spot. We think that you are just looking for excuses why you still cannot make a girl moan so that the neighbors, frightened, will immediately call an ambulance, and the police, and Ministry of Emergency Situations. So here’s a guide on how to get a girl to squirt.

What is the G-spot?

Point G is something between paradise Atlantis and Eldorado drowning in gold, only in the world of sex.If you can find her and find a common language with her, the girl will never leave you, because you will be able to bring your companion to squirt. The G-spot is the most powerful erogenous zone on the anterior wall of the vagina. Every woman has it, but it is dormant. The point is shallow (3-5 centimeters), so it is practically not stimulated during sex. You need to interact with her purposefully and diligently during foreplay in order to bring the girl to a jet orgasm.

Does it really exist?

Many sexologists and gynecologists doubt that the G-spot really exists.It was suggested that if every girl really has it, then the twins can confirm it. After all, if one sister finds a point in a certain place, then the other will be able to find it there. Scientists from King’s College London were the first to undertake such a study. 1804 women participated in it – they were all twins. No pair could confirm that they found coincident G-points, so scientists concluded that it did not exist. But many women continued to talk about finding the G-spot and having a jet orgasm.Therefore, in 2005, another study was conducted in America, in which 4,000 female twins took part. And only 15% of them said that they were able to achieve a jet orgasm, and this may be due to the presence of a G-spot on the front wall of the vagina. Some scientists explain the location of this erogenous zone in terms of body structure – some nerve endings associated with the clitoris are located exactly in this place (the front wall of the vagina is a couple of centimeters above the clitoris). Several European studies have confirmed that jet and clitoral orgasms are similar in terms of female body responses and behavior, so this may be true.In any case, do not think that finding the G-spot (if it exists) and stimulating it is so easy. Much depends not only on your actions, but also on the emotions and attitude of the beloved towards sex and towards you in general. Nevertheless, jet orgasm exists for sure – at least, we interviewed many girls and made sure that they, fortunately for themselves, encountered it. So do not give up trying to find a strong erogenous zone in the vagina (search outside too).

What to do with it?

The G-spot needs to be pressed and pressured to give up and give your girlfriend pleasure.And if you thought that it works like a magic button – clicked, and you’re done – you’re wrong. It is necessary to stimulate the point (either press, then stroke) during the foreplay – these should be intense actions with acceleration for 1 to 20 minutes (and who said it would be easy). The easiest way to do this is to use sex toys, but you can do it with your hands. After foreplay with point stimulation, you can move on to sex, and your actions will affect your partner’s orgasm.

When making love, trust is more important than passion.If it is not there, then none of your actions and stimulation will lead to excellent sex and orgasm. Trust develops in bed over time, when the partner is convinced that you really know how, what and when to do it. At the very least, you should be able to bring the girl to a normal orgasm, so that there is no doubt that you are capable of more.

And what will happen?

The first time, most likely nothing. Or the orgasm will become a little brighter. The G-spot can be compared to a dormant volcano. He will not wake up from one tremor, but after a series of manipulations he will disperse anywhere.G-spot stimulation increases arousal and orgasm over time, rather than immediately. This zone, as it were, gets used to caresses and reacts to them more and more responsively each time. And most importantly – faster. If the first time the orgasm just becomes brighter thanks to 20 minutes of foreplay, the second time – more powerful and longer due to 10 minutes, then the third time – you will spend only a couple of minutes on foreplay, and the girl will find out what a real squirt is. And having achieved it once, she will be able to reach the highest peak of pleasure always (if you do not forget to stimulate the point), because the body cannot forget this level of pleasure.Another advantage of the jet orgasm is that a girl can get it 7-10 times in a row with virtually no interruptions. The body regenerates instantly. So think about how you will keep the bar.

Friends will joke about golden rain?

These jokes are invaluable and will be included in a collection of classic jokes about sex, but squirt and jet orgasm have nothing to do with urination. In fact, it cannot even happen unexpectedly at the moment of arousal, because all muscles are compressed.The body does not even think about the need to relieve itself. During a jet orgasm, a girl secretes a special secret (don’t worry, it doesn’t even leave stains, it is colorless) from the Skene’s glands, which you activate by just stimulating the G-spot. So you know: friends who joke about squirt like that are just have never been able to bring any girl to a jet orgasm (or they like humiliation in sex, which you have not even thought about yet).

You will probably also be interested in:

How to do cunnilingus correctly?

You were caught having sex.What to do?

How to have sex in the pool?

How to forget the ex?

How to understand where a girl’s erogenous zone is?

Why should you have oral sex?

How to have sex in a fitting room?

Try to watch porn with a girl

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Find out how to quickly bring a girl to orgasm?

Many men have a question about how to quickly bring a girl to orgasm. And this is not surprising, because a man’s self-esteem and sense of dignity, in particular, depend on the degree of a woman’s satisfaction. As you know, a woman needs a whole range of feelings and emotions in order to enjoy sex. That is why a man has to make much more effort in order to get the desired result.

Absolutely all males want to know how to quickly bring a girl to orgasm. After all, a real man is obliged to take care not only of his own satisfaction, but also of the pleasure of his partner. It should be understood that a lady will always want to return to a sensitive and gentle partner. Whatever one may say, but intimate life has a huge impact on the nature of the relationship in a couple. In fact, bringing a girl to orgasm is quite simple, with a good supply of patience and perseverance.And little tricks can help in this matter.

Firstly, an intimate life with a beloved woman should be fulfilled. It is not necessary to reduce sexual intercourse to a banal technical process. The prelude is considered one of the most important stages in ensuring the success of the further action. A man should try to excite his partner as much as possible already at this stage. As a rule, the female body, with proper handling, turns into a continuous erogenous zone, so do not skimp on caresses and kisses.Do not forget to accompany the process with compliments and pleasant words, show and tell the girl how strong love for her is, explain how beautiful she is at the moment. It is much easier to bring a woman to orgasm if she feels admired!

Secondly, oral sex will help consolidate the success of the previous stage. This way of satisfaction brings loving hearts closer together. Relationships between people become more open, because partners in this way show the highest degree of trust in each other.In addition, most women who do not experience orgasm during normal intercourse can only achieve this sweet sensation through cunnilingus. A little advice to men: do not get down to business right away, first you should darken the lady a little with gentle caresses. Oral pleasure can be enhanced by helping with the fingers. For example, caressing the clitoris with your tongue, slowly penetrate the vagina with your finger.

Thirdly, do not forget about the presence of certain points on the body of each person, called erogenous zones.If a man is thinking about how to quickly bring a girl to orgasm, he, first of all, should unobtrusively “examine” her body to find points of arousal. The safest and fastest method is to stimulate the so-called G-spot. With proper massage of the clitoris during sex, a man can give a woman maximum pleasure.

These simple rules on how to quickly bring a girl to orgasm will help a man become the only and best partner in the life of his beloved woman.However, it should be remembered that the most important thing in a couple is love. If there are feelings and emotions, then the sex will be fabulous.

90,000 People keep asking Google how to get a woman to orgasm

Image from ‘When Harry Met Sally’ from Castle Rock Entertainment

At the end of September, condom company Durex released of the most frequently googled questions about sex . Many of them have direct answers. (No, you can’t get rid of herpes.”Tripper” is gonorrhea.) Other answers (to the question “how long does sex last”) vary widely.

But perhaps the most important of the googled questions about sex is, “How do you get a woman to orgasm?” There’s a good chance that if you’re looking for the answer, you need something completely safe, versatile — the good old-fashioned step-by-step guide to pleasing a woman. Unfortunately, I have to deliver shocking news: every woman is different and everyone responds to different stimuli.

Some lucky women may orgasm with minimal effort, while others may need to use toys such as vibrators or dildos to do the job.Some may have enough of traditional intercourse, while others have certain fetishes or kinks that turn them on and bring them to orgasm. Many women require stimulation of the clitoris (the sensitive erectile tissue located above the vagina), while others have a more erogenous G-spot (located several inches deep in the vagina on the front of the vaginal wall – another of the most frequently googled questions about sex) … Some women are transgender and have no vagina at all, and some women have disabilities or medical conditions that require an approach that is completely different from what can be seen in traditional depictions of sexuality.In short, it can be scary. Therefore, we turned to several experts.

“First things first, I would start with your relationship with your partner’s satisfaction,” says Vanessa Marin, sexologist and creator of Finishing School , an online course for women to help them achieve orgasm. – We have myths according to which female orgasms are very difficult, mysterious and difficult, and many of the women I work with tell me that they do not want to burden their partners with this. They feel ashamed or guilty. “Telling your partner that it is important for you to be pleased can help them feel calmer and make it easier for them to communicate their needs to you.

Sex can easily be taken away from the fun by treating it as if it were a winnable game (although sometimes it is also hot). “You don’t have to physically focus on getting her to orgasm enough to put pressure on her,” says Marin. She very often hears about this problem from women who have intercourse with heterosexual men.- A lot of my clients tell me: “I’m with a person who really goes out of his way, wanting to bring me to orgasm, and at the same time it seems that he wants to do it so that it would be more pleasant for him and he felt as if he achieved something, and not because he really does not give a damn about my experiences. ” This is neither good nor sexy. If you instead relax a little and see sex as a pleasurable activity that you can engage with the other person (or people), everyone will be much more enjoyable.

It might seem like the next step is being checked out as it can be found in almost all relationship advice columns, but that’s just because it is necessary. You need to communicate with your partner.

“It seems to us that if sex is good, then it should be completely wordless, that everything happens spontaneously, naturally and ideally,” says Marin. But this is not the case. Talking to your partner doesn’t have to be ineffective, formal, or overly complicated.As Marin explains, he can even be downright sexy. “Ask your partner:” What do you like? ” or: “What can I do for you?” She says.

Regular communication with your partner during sex (but not too much!) Is also a good way to ensure his enthusiastic consent – it is, as we know, necessary for absolutely any sexual activity, but it is good to receive regular reminders as well. And don’t be afraid to express your own desires as well. It should be fun for you too!

Of course, there is a possibility that your partner may not be able to tell right away where she ends up, perhaps because she was not given the opportunity to explore this part of herself well.Now is the perfect time to fix this. The best way to get better at sex? Practice. Break away with your partner as often and as you like so that you can get to know and come to terms with each other’s bodies. There are a million resources out there to help people determine where they end up. If you can afford it, check out the Omg Yes interactive education website , which is full of tips and techniques from real women about what they enjoy.

If you want to learn, Jackie Rednoor-Brookman, executive vice president of women-friendly retail chain Good Vibrations recommends Lynn Comella’s book Vibrator Nation (Vibrator Country) as well as online guides to cunnilingus and vibrators from Good Vibrations. “Vaginal insertion can be adorable, but most women don’t get an orgasm solely from it,” says Carol Queen, PhD, resident sexologist at Good Vibrations and author of The Sex & Pleasure Book . …”Vibration is a very effective source of clitoral stimulation, but if the clitoris is exposed to vibration and seems to be annoying, choose a softer vibration or temporarily remove the vibrator and simulate in other ways until you are ready for it.”

First of all, be patient, both with your partner and with yourself. You may not blow each other’s roof off right away, but it just gives you a reason to keep trying. Sex should be enjoyable, so relax, take a deep breath, and go.We are rooting for you.

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7 ways to bring a woman to orgasm, which you should never forget about

How to bring a woman to orgasm so that she will forever remember this climax? In fact, everything is much simpler than it might seem at first glance, and you do not need to be a skilled seducer to achieve this. The main problem is that many people do some things wrong.

We have written more than once about the need to carefully select sex positions for women that lead to orgasm, and also talked about how it would be good to prepare the ground: relax and watch one of the hottest favorite series scenes. But today we decided to go even further and give partners the keys to the greatest delight, or, in other words, describe 7 steps that, according to research by the Kinsey Institute in Indiana, can lead any woman to orgasm.

1) Contextualize

Women are different from men.Our orgasms are an emotional phenomenon: if the head is full of something incomprehensible, then, most likely, any attempts to reach a climax will not be crowned with success. Men often don’t understand why they failed. It would seem that everything was provided for: warming up, affection, but in the end – nothing. Not sure what you forgot about? Contextualize intercourse.

The most common mistake many men make is that they expect female arousal immediately after clitoral stimulation. But in fact, the main task at the beginning of sexual intercourse should be to work on how to make her forget about the problems.

Leave outside the bedroom all the issues that she has to solve: forget about the problems at work and about the upcoming meeting with her manager the next day. Women are not like men: it’s harder for us to switch. You will need additional paraphernalia: candles, massage, hot bath … Everything that will make her be in the present, right here, next to you. “Tell her how beautiful she looks by candlelight,” sexologist Ian Kerner advises in his book Men’s Health. “Negative thoughts exist to slow down a woman’s arousal.”

2) Take your time

Many men make the same mistake: they are in too much of a hurry. You cannot touch a woman’s nipples or clitoris and think that she will be aroused only from this. In addition, it can even cause inconvenience if she has not yet entered the game: you can simply hurt or unpleasant her. Start with kissing, then switch to the neck, to the back, gradually descending lower and lower. And only when you realize that your partner is ready will the moment come to stimulate the erogenous zones.

3) Stimulate the clitoris

After you have made sure that the woman is aroused enough, you can safely move on to stimulating the clitoris, that is, “press the pleasure button.” A study published in the Journal of Sexual and Marital Therapy found that 37% of 1,055 women surveyed, aged 18 to 94, needed clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm during intercourse. This accounts for more than a third of the respondents. More than 40% of women claim to have achieved orgasm 75% of the time through clitoral stimulation.While only 18% admitted that they can climax due to vaginal penetration. The numbers speak for themselves. If you want your partner to have a great orgasm, work on it.

4) Make sure the moment has come

Before you enter your partner, you need to make sure that she is ready. If you ignore this step and there is not enough lubrication, then you can hurt her for physiological reasons, which can lead to very negative consequences.However, keep in mind that a wet partner does not at all mean ready for copulation. It is best to ask her about it, and if she answers yes, you can start infiltrating. But do not forget that often non-verbal language can give us more information. Wait a bit, don’t rush. There is nowhere to rush. You can practice oral sex as much as you like for everyone’s pleasure. And when she can no longer hold back, no questions will be needed.

5) Protect odors

Of all our senses, the sense of smell connects us to our most primitive nature.We can love a certain smell, find it unpleasant, or it can leave us indifferent. But few people think about the impressions he makes on us. The main symptom of a strong sex drive is the accelerated course of chemical reactions in the brain, which begin with the perception of a person’s body odor.

In this regard, Rebecca Rosenblatt, a relationship and sexuality therapist, advises men to keep some masculine scents in stock that mimic those caused by high testosterone levels.This will undoubtedly increase the intensity of your partner’s orgasm.

6) Remember the right back

It is in your best interest to explore all corners of her body, but do not forget about the woman’s back. Kiss, caress, or tickle the right side of that body part during intercourse. Due to the nerve endings that are located in this part of the body, Rosenblatt ensures that this area is more receptive to pleasure in women than the left side.

Gently run your tongue over her back, starting at the back of her neck and smoothly down to her buttocks.Just touch her skin and make the woman feel your breath on her skin. Just like the hips, shoulders, abdomen or wrists, the back is an erogenous zone, but little known to men. However, women are able to appreciate all the benefits of this pleasure. Remember that the more you work during intercourse, the more intense it will end.

7) Be funny

Laughter increases sexual satisfaction in women. For the female sex, a funny man personifies self-confidence.In short, men’s sense of humor is an aphrodisiac for women. This fact is confirmed by research conducted by the University of Albany under the guidance of psychologist George Gallup.

Laughter promotes blood circulation and oxygenation and stimulates the production of endorphins, also called love and sex drugs. The body produces them especially actively during the entrainment phase, as well as during orgasms.

These 7 easy steps will help you take your sexual relationship to a whole new level, but when you get to know each other better, you can start implementing the wildest sex positions.And remember, whatever you do, do it efficiently and consciously. This is the only way to achieve success and satisfaction.

How to bring a woman to orgasm

Author: Valeria Aginskaya. 01 October 2016

Every man who wants to give his partner real pleasure must know how to bring a woman to orgasm. However, there are no universal tips or rules. To help her reach the peak, it is important to examine her body, carefully observe how it reacts to petting.

Friends, we are pleased to invite you to familiarize yourself with our video courses and become a truly cool lover or mistress, you will learn how to experience enchanting orgasms and amaze your partner with your sexual skills.
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Summary of article

3 main myths about female orgasm – every man must know!

Member size is

Many men are used to thinking that a woman’s pleasure depends on the parameters of their penis: if it is long and thick, they can satisfy any.This is a very common myth, but nothing has been confirmed. To bring your partner to orgasm, you do not need to be the owner of a gigantic penis at all. It is important to know some of the laws and techniques of satisfaction. Regardless of the size or shape of the penis, you can give her 7 different sensory orgasms. A study was carried out in which more than 500,000 girls participated. Most of them admitted that it is not the member that matters, but the desire of her partner to give pleasure, that is, care, attentiveness.

To get to the peak, a woman needs intercourse

This is also a myth, however strange it may sound. For pleasure, intercourse in the classical sense is not always necessary. According to statistics, only 15% of women experience the highest pleasure from the frictions of the penis in the vagina, and the remaining 85% can easily reach a peak by stimulating the head of the clitoris. That is, you can quickly bring a girl to orgasm without even having vaginal sex with her. The main thing is to master the techniques and rules of woman’s relaxation, external vaginal massage, to excite her.But if you want to become a really cool lover, always bring your partner to different sensations of emotions, it is important to be able to awaken and properly stimulate the main erogenous zones in the vagina.

Good sex always ends with a simultaneous “finish”

Such situations happen only in films, in real life everything is a little different. To release you need to fully concentrate on your own feelings, and at this moment you will not be able to pay attention to your partner.In order for a lady to experience an orgasm, you must focus on her sensations, in order to reach the peak yourself – completely immerse yourself in yours. It is difficult to combine it. Your partner may experience pleasure before or after you. This is much more convenient than achieving simultaneous discharge. Therefore: if you want to get an orgasm – you need to be an egoist at the moment, strive to deliver it to your partner – become an altruist. So choose and take action!

What determines the female orgasm

It is determined by 4 factors.If one of them is broken, this may be the reason for the lack of discharge.

1. High quality foreplay. Unfortunately, many men do not consider it an important milestone. As a result, the partner does not have time to become aroused, that is, she does not have an internal erection: there is no rush of blood to the pelvic organs, from which she cannot reach a peak. Therefore, it is necessary at least 15-20 minutes to “prepare” a girl for sex. You can start with a relaxing massage, then move on to an erotic massage with elements of external genital massage, cunnilingus techniques.
2. Awakened erogenous zones, their correct stimulation. The whole body is an erogenous zone, but there are main points, on the stimulation of which vivid sensations depend. These are G, K, A. They are all in the vagina. You can only stimulate and awaken them if the girl is aroused enough and you are doing everything right. To do this, you need to know the 7-day awakening instructions.
3. Pelvic floor muscles (MTF) should be toned . Otherwise, the blood flow to the pelvic organs is not sufficient, the internal erection does not occur, the girl cannot be normally aroused.How to understand that MTD is not in good shape? If in the process of intercourse during vaginal frictions a man ceases to feel the girth of the penis, feels as if he “fell into the abyss”, MTD is not in good shape. It is easy to fix the situation if you start to train them, for example, according to the author’s 21-day method of training intimate muscles.
4. Skill women during sex switch head , tune in to an erotic mood. Many girls during intimacy think about anything, just not about sex, they do not have a feeling of “here and now.”To achieve “full presence”, it is important to strongly arouse your partner (back to point 1 – high-quality foreplay).

Why do many girls imitate?

• Don’t want to offend your partner.
• Cannot experience orgasm because erogenous zones are not awakened. For example, she never did her own awakening herself.

How to properly bring a girl to orgasm

The process consists of several steps:

• Excitation.
• Awakening.
• Correct stimulation.

Competent foreplay is important for relaxation, and not 5 minutes, but at least 15-20 minutes. First, relax and excite the woman: through erotic massage, external vaginal massage, cunnilingus. Then go on to internal vaginal massage and stimulation of directly erogenous zones and points G, K, A. Only when the lady is excited to the limit, you can start vaginal sex – insert a member into the vagina. Consider all the points in the previous section.Without observing them, you are unlikely to please your partner.

What kind of orgasms can a woman experience? Major erogenous zones

In fact, the peak of pleasure is one – from the brain, and already sensations are different: from simple to enchanting pleasure. It depends on which erogenous zones to stimulate. When exposed to the head of the clitoris, orgasm will be called clitoral, it is the easiest in sensations.

Would you like to deliver more intense pleasure? Then stimulate the G-spot – it is “responsible” for vaginal discharge.

Strive to present an extravaganza of pleasures and emotions? You need zones K or A, from which the girl will receive uterine and anal orgasms.

As a result, the fair sex is able to experience at least 7 different types of orgasm, depending on the degree of stimulation of the erogenous zones and their awakening.

1. Clitoral is the most common. According to statistics, 85% of women receive it. This requires stimulation of the head of the clitoris, which is located on the surface of the vulva.This is the most awakened erogenous zone, since it is often affected by the woman herself during masturbation (with a hand or a special vibrator). However, this type of discharge feels the weakest. Therefore, a good lover will try to bring the girl to other types.
2. Vaginal – stronger in sensations and release of hormones into the blood, which gives enchanting sensations and a lot of pleasure. It depends on stimulation of the G-spot, which is located in the vagina, on the front wall about 3-5 cm from the entrance.It can be awakened and stimulated only in a highly agitated state. Otherwise, the woman will not experience relaxation, but unpleasant sensations. The G zone should be able to stimulate and awaken any good lover. The 7-day step-by-step wake-up instructions will help him with this.
3. Uterine is another powerful type of orgasm, from which the girl experiences the greatest pleasure. It depends on the stimulation of point A, which is located on the eve of the cervix. This is a more “hidden” point, it is also located on the front wall of the vagina, like G, but deeper.There are different techniques for influencing this point. Knowing certain rules, any man can please his partner with such a delightful relaxation.
4. Anal – Perhaps the most powerful one feels. Having experienced such pleasure once, girls will never forget it. Studies have shown that it is from the anal orgasm that the hormones testosterone and dopamine are released, thanks to which a woman’s sensitivity in sex and orgasm increases. If you follow all the rules and laws of anal sex, then the girl can be brought to orgasm.By contrast, ignoring them leads to nothing but pain and disgust. Anal pleasure depends on stimulation of the K-point, which is located at the back of the vagina. It is also important to act on it correctly, guided by step-by-step instructions for awakening erogenous zones.
5. Jet or squirt – the strongest female orgasm with a bonus. It is the fluid secreted from the urethra, the so-called alkaline secretion, which acts out. This proves that the girl actually reached a peak, and did not imitate.This orgasm can be obtained under special conditions. A woman should be very aroused, she will even need a special erotic massage with elements of external and internal vaginal massage. It is also necessary that the D and Y points be awakened. The latter is located on the eve of the urethra, under the head of the clitoris. Her man can stimulate during cunnilingus. For squirt, it is important to simultaneously work on the J and Y areas
6. Plural – any woman can experience it, provided that the man does everything right.These are numerous peaks of pleasure in a row at intervals of 10-15 seconds, for example, within 10-20 minutes. During this time, you can experience up to 30 discharges. How to bring a girl to this type of orgasm? You need to excite, but not overexcite a woman. For this, it is very important to master the technique of multiple orgasm, otherwise, after the first peak, the partner will no longer want the next one, since any touch will either tickle or not pleasant.
7. Looped – I will talk about it in detail in my courses.

Friends, we are pleased to invite you to familiarize yourself with our video courses and become a truly cool lover or mistress, you will learn how to experience enchanting orgasms and amaze your partner with your sexual skills.
Female Sex Courses Male Sex Courses Free Courses

90 000 How to bring a girl to orgasm during sex

There are many ways to bring a girl to orgasm during sex. But it is important to understand that girls’ orgasms are different from male orgasms, where it is enough to concentrate all attention on the penis in order to stimulate it to induce ejaculation.Achieving a female orgasm requires a lot more effort directed at the whole body and sensations in general.

Unfortunately, most women who have sex even with their beloved partner do not get the highest point of pleasure and satisfaction – orgasm, while sex life without these pleasant sensations is simply not possible.

We would like to please you with simple and effective tips on how to bring any woman to orgasm and thereby make you a legend in the bedroom, since partners will definitely return to a man who knows exactly how to bring a woman to orgasm during quality sex.So why not make both sex partners happy?

Step # 1 Foreplay before sex

ALWAYS start with foreplay before sex. This ensures that she is mentally, emotionally and physically ready for good lovemaking. And also try not to rush the foreplay, trying to “invest” in a couple of minutes and rather move on to sex.

Caress her body gently and lovingly until you feel that she is ready – her vagina has become wet, because when sexual tension reaches its climax, you will achieve her orgasm much easier.

Step # 2 Oral Sex

Oral sex is a great way to bring a girl to orgasm. In fact, many women claim that cunnilingus is the only way for them to achieve orgasm. When you walk down her body, take your time. Enjoy the process as well as your destination. Thus, lick her external genitals gently and with feeling, before accelerating the pace and then move on to the internal ones, deeply penetrating the tongue.

While doing this, make small circles with your tongue, you can even bite her labia and suck on the clitoris.This is the most reliable way to bring a girl to orgasm.

Step # 3 Oral stimulation and using fingers

You can also apply oral stimulation using your fingers. Place your index and middle fingers together, and then start running them in circles around her clitoris. With your other hand, you can caress the whole body of the girl. Do not forget to listen to her moans in order to understand that you are doing everything right or, on the contrary, that something is wrong. As soon as you realize that you are doing exactly what brings her pleasure, do not miss the moment and continue your caresses.This is a great way to bring a girl to orgasm.

Step # 4 G-spot stimulation

If she has not yet reached orgasm, then it is time to stimulate the G-spot. After stimulating her clitoris with your fingers, continue and slowly and gently penetrate her vagina, palm up.

Once inside, move your fingers to the 11:00 position. Slowly and gently search your fingers for a small bump or bulge. If you’ve found this mysterious and legendary area, then congratulations – you’ve found the G-spot!

Step # 5 Finish close

Stimulate the G-spot with a slight brisk and patting motion, gently but quickly.You can also press it slightly, release it, and repeat the process as if you were constantly pressing the bell button. Some women get very turned on if a man begins to draw with his fingers, as it were, small, irregular circles around the point G. Continue until the girl has an orgasm – it is definitely not far off!

Great sex! Love each other!

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