How to get over a death of a dog. Coping with Pet Loss: A Comprehensive Guide to Healing After the Death of a Dog
How can you navigate the grief process after losing a beloved dog. What are effective strategies for self-care during pet bereavement. How to support children and other family members dealing with the loss of a pet.
Understanding the Stages of Grief in Pet Loss
The loss of a pet can be as devastating as losing a human family member. The grief process following the death of a dog is complex and non-linear. Many pet owners experience a range of emotions, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages don’t always occur in a predictable order, and individuals may move back and forth between them.
Denial often serves as an initial protective mechanism, allowing the bereaved to process the loss gradually. As reality sets in, some may attempt to bargain with a higher power or even their deceased pet in an attempt to reverse the loss. Anger might be directed at veterinarians, family members, or even oneself. Feelings of guilt or shame about the intensity of one’s grief are also common.
Depression typically follows as the full weight of the loss is felt. This stage may involve withdrawal from social activities and a deep sadness. Finally, acceptance occurs when the pet owner can acknowledge the reality of the loss and remember their companion with less acute pain.
Is it normal to feel intense grief over a pet?
Absolutely. The bond between humans and their pets is profound and unique. Dogs, in particular, often become integral parts of our daily lives and routines. The grief experienced after losing a dog is not only normal but also a testament to the depth of the relationship shared. It’s important to validate these feelings and allow oneself to mourn fully.
Effective Coping Strategies for Pet Bereavement
Dealing with the loss of a dog requires compassion for oneself and intentional coping strategies. Here are some effective ways to navigate the grief process:
- Acknowledge your grief openly and give yourself permission to express it
- Allow yourself to cry and experience the full range of emotions
- Focus on positive memories rather than dwelling on the final moments
- Reach out to supportive friends, family, or pet loss support groups
- Create a memorial or ritual to honor your pet’s memory
- Journal about your feelings or write a letter to your deceased pet
- Engage in self-care activities that promote healing and comfort
How can you honor the memory of your deceased dog?
There are numerous ways to memorialize your beloved pet:
- Create a photo album or digital slideshow of favorite moments
- Plant a tree or garden in their memory
- Commission a piece of art or jewelry incorporating their ashes
- Donate to an animal charity in their name
- Create a memory box with their favorite toys and belongings
- Write an obituary or life story celebrating their impact on your life
These acts of remembrance can provide comfort and help in the healing process.
Seeking Support: Resources for Pet Loss Grief
Grief can be isolating, but there are many resources available for those mourning the loss of a pet. Support groups, both online and in-person, can provide a safe space to share feelings and experiences with others who understand. Some valuable resources include:
- The Pet Compassion Careline: Offers 24/7 grief support with trained counselors
- Laps of Love: Provides grief courses and one-on-one support sessions
- Everlife Support Groups: Organized by state for local support
- Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement: Offers scheduled support group sessions
- Local veterinary clinics or humane societies: May offer pet loss support services
Can professional counseling help with pet loss grief?
Yes, seeking professional help can be beneficial, especially if grief becomes overwhelming or prolonged. A therapist experienced in grief counseling or pet loss can provide strategies to cope with intense emotions and guide you through the healing process. Many find that professional support helps them navigate the complexities of pet bereavement more effectively.
Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Family Pet
The death of a pet is often a child’s first experience with loss. It’s crucial to handle this situation with care and honesty. Here are some tips for helping children through pet loss:
- Be honest about the pet’s death, avoiding euphemisms like “put to sleep”
- Encourage children to express their feelings through talking, drawing, or writing
- Include children in memorial activities if they wish to participate
- Validate their grief and reassure them that it’s okay to feel sad
- Share your own feelings, modeling healthy grief expression
- Read age-appropriate books about pet loss together
How do you explain pet euthanasia to a child?
When discussing euthanasia with children, use clear, simple language. Explain that the pet was very sick or in pain, and that euthanasia was a kind way to end their suffering. Emphasize that this decision is made out of love and compassion. Allow children to ask questions and express their concerns. Reassure them that the process is peaceful and that the pet didn’t suffer.
The Impact of Pet Loss on Other Household Pets
When a dog passes away, it’s not just humans who grieve. Other pets in the household may also experience loss and exhibit changes in behavior. Signs of grief in pets can include:
- Loss of appetite
- Lethargy or depression
- Increased vocalization
- Searching for the deceased pet
- Clinginess to human family members
- Changes in sleep patterns
How can you help your surviving pets cope with the loss?
To support your other pets during this time:
- Maintain their regular routines as much as possible
- Provide extra attention and comfort
- Allow them to sniff and investigate areas where the deceased pet spent time
- Consider using pheromone diffusers to create a calming environment
- Monitor their eating and drinking habits closely
- Consult with your veterinarian if behavioral changes persist
Remember, pets may need time to adjust to the new dynamics of the household.
The Healing Power of Rituals and Memorials
Creating rituals and memorials can be a powerful way to process grief and honor the memory of a beloved pet. These acts provide a tangible connection to the pet and can offer comfort during the healing process. Some meaningful ways to memorialize your dog include:
- Holding a small ceremony or memorial service
- Creating a memory garden or special outdoor space
- Making a photo collage or scrapbook
- Writing a poem or story about your pet’s life
- Creating or purchasing a piece of memorial jewelry
- Volunteering at an animal shelter in your pet’s honor
Are there eco-friendly options for pet memorials?
Yes, there are several environmentally conscious ways to memorialize a pet:
- Biodegradable urns that can be buried and grow into trees
- Planting native flowers or trees in their memory
- Creating a natural stone marker for an outdoor memorial
- Using pet-safe, biodegradable ink for paw print keepsakes
- Donating to wildlife conservation efforts in their name
These options allow you to honor your pet while also being mindful of the environment.
Navigating the Decision to Adopt a New Pet
The decision to bring a new pet into your life after losing a dog is deeply personal. There’s no set timeline for when it’s appropriate to adopt again. Some individuals find comfort in providing a home to another animal in need, while others need more time to process their loss before considering a new pet.
Factors to consider when contemplating a new adoption include:
- Your emotional readiness to form a new bond
- The needs and feelings of other family members
- The dynamics of any remaining pets in the household
- Your current lifestyle and ability to care for a new pet
- Whether you’re seeking a similar breed or a different type of pet
Is it disloyal to adopt a new pet after losing one?
No, adopting a new pet does not diminish the love you had for your deceased dog. Each animal is unique, and the new relationship will be different from the one you had with your previous pet. Many find that opening their hearts to a new companion honors the memory of their deceased pet by continuing to provide love and care to animals in need. The key is to ensure you’re emotionally ready for this step and not rushing into it as a way to avoid grief.
Remember, grief is a personal journey, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate it. Be patient with yourself, seek support when needed, and honor your pet’s memory in ways that feel meaningful to you. The love shared with a pet leaves an indelible mark on our hearts, and while the pain of loss is real, so too is the joy and companionship they brought to our lives.
How to cope with the death of your pet
How to take care of yourself, your family and other pets when you’ve had to say goodbye
SHARE
Ashva
/
iStock.com
When a person you love dies, it’s natural to feel sorrow, express grief and expect friends and family to provide comfort—but although people often feel the same feelings of grief when they lose a beloved pet, it might go unacknowledged by others. Know that your grief is normal, and it’s OK (and even important) to mourn the relationship you had with your pet.
The grief process
The grief process is not linear. You may meander in and out of the stages of grief, going back and forth, rather than experiencing each stage in sequential order. It’s not uncommon to start to feel better, and then feel like a wave of grief has washed over you again. The process typically begins with denial, which offers protection until individuals can realize their loss.
Some caregivers may try bargaining with a higher power, themselves or even their pet to restore life. Some feel anger, which may be directed at anyone involved with the pet, including family, friends and veterinarians. Caregivers may also feel guilt about what they did or did not do, or they may feel ashamed to be so upset.
After these feelings subside, caregivers may experience true sadness or grief. They may become withdrawn or depressed. Acceptance occurs when they accept the reality of their loss and remember their animal companion with decreasing sadness. Remember, healthy grieving does not mean that you forget or “get over” your friend. It simply allows you to accept that they’re gone and eventually smile at their memory.
Coping with grief
Although grief is a personal experience, you do not need to face your loss alone. Here are a few suggestions to help you cope:
- Acknowledge your grief, and give yourself permission to express it. Allow yourself to cry. If you live alone, the silence in your home might feel deafening, but acknowledging it will allow you to prepare for the emotions you might feel. Suppressing your feelings of sadness can prolong your grief.
- Try not to replay your last moments with your pet. It can be common to ruminate on your pet’s final days or moments, especially if they were traumatic. Instead, focus on the life you shared with your pet and some of your favorite memories with them. Remember, your pet’s pain has passed. You are the one in pain now, and you must lovingly care for yourself.
- Reach out to others who can lend a sympathetic ear. Do a little research online, and you’ll find hundreds of resources and support groups that may be helpful to you. Some of these include:
The Pet Compassion Careline, which provides 24/7 grief support with trained pet grief counselors.
Laps of Love, which provides grief courses and 50-minute one-on-one support sessions with a grief counselor.
Everlife Support Groups by state.
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement support groups, available at specific times throughout the week.
If you are part of a congregation, ask if your place of worship offers bereavement support for pet loss.
Memorialize your pet through a bereavement ritual. You might:
- Spread your pet’s ashes somewhere special, or reserve a place in your home for your pet’s ashes and photos of your pet.
- Plant a native tree or flowering shrub in memory of your pet.
- Create a memory box with your pet’s collar or favorite toys.
- Purchase a product that incorporates your pet’s ashes into a memorial necklace, bracelet, ring or suncatcher. (Search “pet cremation jewelry.”)
- Commission a painting, statue, memorial stone or plush animal representation of your pet. (Search “pet memorial” on Etsy.com for a wide range of options at all price points.)
- Practice your own culturally significant expression of grief, like creating an ofrenda.
- Write about your feelings, or write a letter to your pet about all the things you’d like to say to them or how you’d have liked to spend your last day with them.
- Write an obituary for your pet.
- Share photos and memories of your pet via social media.
Learn More
Honor your pet by helping animals
Celebrate the life of a beloved person or pet with a memorial gift to the Humane Society of the United States.
Give a Gift
Biskariot
/
iStock.com
Helping children understand pet loss
Trying to protect your child by saying the pet ran away doesn’t allow your child to move through the grief process in an emotionally healthy way. Your child may expect the pet’s return and feel betrayed or confused after discovering the truth. If your pet’s death is expected, you can prepare children for the loss by allowing them to say goodbye. If your pet’s death was unexpected, share the truth of what happened in an age-appropriate way.
The loss of a pet may be a child’s first experience with death. The child may blame themselves, their parents or the veterinarian for not saving the pet. They may feel guilty, depressed or frightened that others they love may be taken from them. Expressing your own grief may reassure your child that sadness is OK and help them work through their feelings.
Children may also benefit from participating in age-appropriate grief rituals alongside you, such as drawing pictures of their pet, writing to their pet or sharing happy memories of their pet.
Helping seniors cope with pet loss
Coping with the loss of a pet can be particularly hard for seniors. Those who live alone may feel a loss of purpose and immense emptiness. A pet’s death may also trigger painful memories of other losses and remind caregivers of their own mortality. What’s more, if they’d like another pet, the decision can be complicated by the possibility that the pet may outlive them, or that one day they may not have the physical ability to care for a new pet. For all these reasons, it’s critical that senior pet owners take immediate steps to cope with their loss and regain a sense of purpose.
Understanding surviving pets
Surviving pets may whimper, refuse to eat or drink, or simply “act depressed,” especially if they had a close bond with the deceased pet. Even if they were not the best of friends, pets thrive on consistency, and the loss of another animal in the home, as well as your emotional state, may distress them. Give surviving pets lots of TLC and try to maintain a normal routine. If symptoms continue, take your surviving pet to your veterinarian to rule out medical causes.
Getting another pet
Rushing into this decision isn’t fair to you or your new pet. Each animal has their own unique personality, and a new animal cannot replace the one you lost. New pets will go through an adjustment period, which may be difficult to manage when you and other pets in the home are still adjusting to a loss yourselves. You’ll know when the time is right to adopt a new pet after giving yourself time to grieve. And when you’re ready, remember that your local animal shelter or rescue is a great place to find your next special friend.
Coping with Losing a Pet
Why does the loss of a pet hurt so much?
Many of us share an intense love and bond with our animal companions. For us, a pet is not “just a dog” or “just a cat,” but rather a beloved member of our family, bringing companionship, fun, and joy to our lives. A pet can add structure to your day, keep you active and social, help you to overcome setbacks and challenges in life, and even provide a sense of meaning or purpose. So, when a cherished pet dies, it’s normal to feel racked by grief and loss.
The pain of loss can often feel overwhelming and trigger all sorts of painful and difficult emotions. While some people may not understand the depth of feeling you had for your pet, you should never feel guilty or ashamed about grieving for an animal friend.
While we all respond to loss differently, the level of grief you experience will often depend on factors such as your age and personality, the age of your pet, and the circumstances of their death. Generally, the more significant your pet was to you, the more intense the emotional pain you’ll feel.
The role the animal played in your life can also have an impact. For example, if your pet was a working dog, service animal, or therapy animal, you’ll not only be grieving the loss of a companion but also the loss of a coworker, the loss of your independence, or the loss of emotional support. If you lived alone and the pet was your only companion, coming to terms with their loss can be even harder. And if you were unable to afford expensive veterinary treatment to prolong your pet’s life, you may even feel a profound sense of guilt.
While experiencing loss is an inevitable part of owning a pet, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and when the time is right, perhaps even open your heart to another animal companion.
Partnership Disclosure
The world’s largest therapy service. 100% online. Get matched with a professional, licensed, and vetted therapist in less than 48 hours.
Get 20% off
The grieving process after the loss of a pet
Grieving is a highly individual experience. Some people find grief following the loss of a pet comes in stages, where they experience different feelings such as denial, anger, guilt, depression, and eventually acceptance and resolution. Others find that their grief is more cyclical, coming in waves, or a series of highs and lows. The lows are likely to be deeper and longer at the beginning and then gradually become shorter and less intense as time goes by. Still, even years after a loss, a sight, a sound, or a special anniversary can spark memories that trigger a strong sense of grief.
The grieving process happens only gradually. It can’t be forced or hurried—and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.
Feeling sad, shocked, or lonely is a normal reaction to the loss of a beloved pet. Exhibiting these feelings doesn’t mean you are weak or your feelings are somehow misplaced. It just means that you’re mourning the loss of an animal you loved, so you shouldn’t feel ashamed.
Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it. By expressing your grief, you’ll likely need less time to heal than if you withhold or “bottle up” your feelings. Write about your feelings and talk about them with others who are sympathetic to your loss.
Coping with the grief of pet loss
Sorrow and grief are normal and natural responses to death. Like grief for our friends and loved ones, grief for our animal companions can only be dealt with over time, but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. Here are some suggestions:
Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready.
Reach out to others who have lost pets. Check out online message boards, pet loss hotlines, and pet loss support groups—see the Resources section below for details. If your own friends and family members are not sympathetic about pet loss, find someone who is. Often, another person who has also experienced the loss of a beloved pet may better understand what you’re going through.
Rituals can help healing. A funeral can help you and your family members openly express your feelings. Ignore people who think it’s inappropriate to hold a funeral for a pet, and do what feels right for you.
Create a legacy. Preparing a memorial, planting a tree in memory of your pet, compiling a photo album or scrapbook, or otherwise sharing the memories you enjoyed with your pet, can create a legacy to celebrate the life of your animal companion. Remembering the fun and love you shared with your pet can help you to eventually move on.
Look after yourself. The stress of losing a pet can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time. Spend time face to face with people who care about you, eat a healthy diet, get plenty of sleep, and exercise regularly to release endorphins and help boost your mood.
If you have other pets, try to maintain your normal routine. Surviving pets can also experience loss when a pet dies, or they may become distressed by your sorrow. Maintaining their daily routines, or even increasing exercise and play times, will not only benefit the surviving pets but can also help to elevate your mood and outlook, too.
Seek professional help if you need it. If your grief is persistent and interferes with your ability to function, your doctor or a mental health professional can evaluate you for depression.
Dealing with the loss of a pet when others devalue your loss
One aspect that can make grieving for the loss of a pet so difficult is that pet loss is not appreciated by everyone. Some friends and family may say, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a pet!” Some people assume that pet loss shouldn’t hurt as much as human loss, or that it is somehow inappropriate to grieve for an animal. They may not understand because they don’t have a pet of their own or are unable to appreciate the companionship and love that a pet can provide.
- Don’t argue with others about whether your grief is appropriate or not.
- Accept the fact that the best support for your grief may come from outside your usual circle of friends and family members.
- Seek out others who have lost pets; those who can appreciate the magnitude of your loss, and may be able to suggest ways of getting through the grieving process.
Tips for seniors grieving the death of a pet
As we age, we experience an increasing number of major life changes, including the loss of beloved friends, family members, and pets. The death of a pet can hit retired seniors even harder than younger adults who may be able to draw on the comfort of a close family, or distract themselves with the routine of work. If you’re an older adult living alone, your pet was probably your sole companion, and taking care of the animal provided you with a sense of purpose and self-worth.
Stay connected with friends. Pets, dogs especially, can help seniors meet new people or regularly connect with friends and neighbors while out on a walk or in the dog park. Having lost your pet, it’s important that you don’t now spend day after day alone. Try to spend time with at least one person every day. Regular face-to-face contact can help you ward off depression and stay positive. Call up an old friend or neighbor for a lunch date or join a club.
Boost your vitality with exercise. Pets help many older adults stay active and playful, which can boost your immune system and increase your energy. It’s important to keep up your activity levels after the loss of your pet. Check with your doctor before starting an exercise program and then find an activity that you enjoy. Exercising in a group—by playing a sport such as tennis or golf, or taking an exercise or swimming class—can also help you connect with others.
Try to find new meaning and joy in life. Caring for a pet previously occupied your time and boosted your morale and optimism. Try to fill that time by volunteering, picking up a long-neglected hobby, taking a class, helping friends, rescue groups, or homeless shelters care for their animals, or even by getting another pet when the time feels right.
Helping children grieve the loss of a pet
The loss of a pet may be your child’s first experience of death—and your first opportunity to teach them about coping with the grief and pain that inevitably accompanies the joy of loving another living creature. Losing a pet can be a traumatic experience for any child. Many kids love their pets very deeply and some may not even remember a time in their life when the pet wasn’t around. A child may feel angry and blame themselves—or you—for the pet’s death. A child may feel scared that other people or animals they love may also leave them. How you handle the grieving process can determine whether the experience has a positive or negative effect on your child’s personal development.
Some parents feel they should try to shield their children from the sadness of losing a pet by either not talking about the pet’s death, or by not being honest about what’s happened. Pretending the animal ran away, or “went to sleep,” for example, can leave a child feeling even more confused, frightened, and betrayed when they finally learn the truth. It’s far better to be honest with children and allow them the opportunity to grieve in their own way.
Let your child see you express your own grief at the loss of the pet. If you don’t experience the same sense of loss as your child, respect their grief and let them express their feelings openly, without making them feel ashamed or guilty. Children should feel proud that they have so much compassion and care deeply about their animal companions.
Reassure your child that they weren’t responsible for the pet’s death. The death of a pet can raise a lot of questions and fears in a child. You may need to reassure your child that you, their parents, are not also likely to die. It’s important to talk about all their feelings and concerns.
Involve your child in the dying process. If you’ve chosen euthanasia for your pet, be honest with your child. Explain why the choice is necessary and give the child chance to spend some special time with the pet and say goodbye in their own way.
If possible, give the child an opportunity to create a memento of the pet. This could be a special photograph, or a plaster cast of the animal’s paw print, for example.
Allow the child to be involved in any memorial service, if they desire. Holding a funeral or creating a memorial for the pet can help your child express their feelings openly and help process the loss.
Do not rush out to get the child a “replacement pet” before they’ve had a chance to grieve the loss they feel. Your child may feel disloyal, or you could send the message that the grief and sadness felt when something dies can simply be overcome by buying a replacement.
Making the decision to put a pet to sleep
Deciding to put your animal companion to sleep is one of the most difficult decisions you will ever have to make for your pet. As a loving pet owner, though, the time may come when you need to help your pet make the transition from life to death, with the help of your veterinarian, in as painless and peaceful a way as possible.
Knowing when it’s time to put a pet to sleep
Euthanasia for a beloved pet is highly personal decision and usually comes after a diagnosis of a terminal illness and with the knowledge that the animal is suffering badly. Your choices for your pet should be informed by the care and love you feel for the animal. Important things to consider include:
Activity level. Does your pet still enjoy previously loved activities or are they able to be active at all?
Response to care and affection. Does your pet still interact and respond to love and care in the usual ways?
Amount of pain and suffering. Is your pet experiencing pain and suffering which outweigh any pleasure and enjoyment in life?
Terminal illness or critical injury. Have illness or injury prohibited your pet from enjoying life? Is your pet facing certain death from the injury or illness?
Your family’s feelings. Is your family unanimous in the decision? If not, and you still feel it is the best thing for your pet, can you live with the decision that you have to make?
If you do decide that ending the suffering is in your pet’s best interest, take your time to create a process that is as peaceful as possible for you, your pet, and your family. You may want to have a last day at home with the pet in order to say goodbye, or to visit the pet at the animal hospital. You can also choose to be present during your pet’s euthanasia, or to say goodbye beforehand and remain in the veterinary waiting room or at home. This is an individual decision for each member of the family.
What to expect when putting your pet to sleep
According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, euthanasia for a pet is most often achieved by injection of a death-inducing drug. The veterinarian may administer a tranquilizer first to relax your pet. Following the injection of the euthanasia drug, your pet will immediately become unconscious. Death is quick and painless. Your pet may move its legs or breathe deeply several times after the drug is given, but these are reflexes and don’t mean that your pet is in pain or is suffering.
How to explain pet euthanasia to a child
Be honest. Start by explaining that your pet is ill, suffering badly, and that you have the ability to end that suffering in a very humane and gentle way. The injection is a very peaceful and painless process for your pet. Sometimes, when you really love a pet, you have to make these kinds of difficult decisions to spare the animal from more pain and suffering.
- Children tend to feed off of how their parents react. If you’re hysterical or feel it’s the wrong decision, your child will likely react in a similar way. If you’re sad, and deal with that sadness in a healthy way, your child will follow your example.
- As long as you’re putting your beloved pet to sleep for the right reasons, tell your children that it is OK to feel sad, but there’s no need to feel guilty. You should feel sad, and your children can feel the sadness, but don’t mix guilt in with the sadness. One emotion is healthy, the other terribly burdensome.
Getting another dog or cat after pet loss
There are many wonderful reasons to once again share your life with a companion animal, but the decision of when to do so is a very personal one. It may be tempting to rush out and fill the void left by your pet’s death by immediately getting another pet. In most cases, it’s best to mourn the old pet first, and wait until you’re emotionally ready to open your heart and your home to a new animal. You may want to start by volunteering at a shelter or rescue group. Spending time caring for pets in need is not only great for the animals, but can help you decide if you’re ready to own a new pet.
Some retired seniors living alone may find it hardest to adjust to life without a pet. If taking care of an animal provided you with a sense of purpose and self-worth as well as companionship, you may want to consider getting another pet at an earlier stage. Of course, seniors also need to consider their own health and life expectancy when deciding on a new pet. Again, volunteering to help pets in need can be a good way to decide if you’re ready to become a pet owner again.
Helplines and support
In the U. S.
Call the ASPCA Pet Loss Hotline at 877-474-3310
In the UK
Call the Pet Bereavement Support Service at 0800 096 6606.
In other countries
Visit Chance’s Spot to find support near you.
Last updated or reviewed on March 28, 2023
How to come to terms with the death of a beloved dog
A dog’s age is much shorter than a human’s, and sooner or later our pets leave us. How to deal with loss? What to do if the pain of loss is too strong? Recommendations are in the article.
Do not try not to remember
If the dog has lived in the family for a very long time, you should not immediately delete memories of her from memory. Tears and sadness are perfectly normal reactions to loss, so don’t delete photos of your pet and try to get rid of any reminders of your pet.
It takes some time to come to the stage of accepting what happened and coming to terms with the death of a dog. You can be distracted by routine activities, work or friends. Traveling to another city or walking around new places will also help you get a little distracted, relax and recover.
Share your experiences
Some people cannot cope with emotions on their own and sink into deep depression. In this case, conversations with friends or with a psychologist will help. It is important not to be silent and not to experience everything in yourself. It is clear that if a beloved dog has died, then this is not the most comfortable topic for dialogue, but it is necessary to talk.
Acknowledging loss and grief will help you cope with emotions and improve your well-being. Don’t be ashamed of how you feel – if your dog was your best friend, it’s perfectly normal to feel pain.
Do not blame yourself
Under no circumstances should you take the blame for the death of a pet. Most often, owners remember that they once offended their dog, scolded it undeservedly, did not share a treat, or did not take it to the veterinarian. It is important to remember that every owner does everything he can for a four-legged friend.
When a dog dies, the owners do everything to alleviate its condition, but these actions will not help to avoid the inevitable. They understand everything and worry no less. Do not ignore them – it is important to continue to play with them, love them and protect them.
Even if you can’t cope with the loss of a dog right away, this is not a reason to stop walking with other pets. Animals experience stress in the same way, and there is no need to doom them to additional suffering.
Do not start a new dog right away
Even if the owner is sure that he has already coped and accepted his grief, it is worth waiting at least a few months. There is a risk that the new pet will not look like a beloved dead dog at all.
You need to give yourself time to finally come to terms with the loss and return to your old life. Perhaps in a few months it will become easier, and then you can consciously approach the choice of breed. Do not pay attention to those who say “well, it’s just a dog, get another one.” No, it’s not easy, the other will be completely different. But time heals.
Every pet has a very important place in our lives. It is extremely difficult to come to terms with his loss, but such is life – all pets leave sooner or later. The memory of him will remain forever.
See also:
- What should I do if my dog dies?
- What to tell a child if a cat or dog has died?
- Guide dog: the story of an amazing rescue
- From homeless dog to hero: the story of a rescue dog
How to get over the death of a dog
Tips for adults and parents of toddlers
Experienced dog owners know well the mixed feeling when a new puppy crosses the threshold of their house, because the old pet is gone. A fluffy lump rushes across the floor, and a “worm” of doubt quietly scratches in my soul, “Was it worth it? After all, a dog does not live so long. Tears of joy mix with a sore throat and diligent attempts to find at least something in common in the eyes of a new baby and an old friend. Living without letting go is painful and neither a new dog nor the upcoming joys of living together will save you.
How to survive the death of a dog and get off the “dead point”? How to move forward, leaving warm and pleasant memories in your soul? How to see a new dog, and not the “echo” of an old friend?
Who is to blame?
The main problem that prevents people from experiencing grief is the search for the guilty. It doesn’t matter what exactly happened, instinctively, a person is looking for those responsible for what he did, let it be God or evil fate, but the prosecution will find the defendant.
It is much worse when the owner blames himself for the pet’s death – “I didn’t have time”, “I didn’t notice”, “I made a mistake with the choice of a veterinarian”. Finding the guilty refers to situations where a pet leaves due to illness or an accident.
Naturally, one should not wait for the fateful hour, a friend should be taken care of while he is alive and well – proper nutrition, vaccinations, safety, care, regular veterinary examinations. The more responsible you are in your elementary duties, the faster the confidence will come that you did everything right when the time comes to survive the loss of a dog.
A separate topic for discussion is euthanasia. Many owners refuse to humanely euthanize the animal, considering it to be murder. In fact, the dog is hopelessly ill and suffers only because the owner’s inner selfish child cannot accept reality. If guilt gnaws at you, redeem it in any way you can. Contact an animal shelter, become a volunteer, pick up a kitten on the street, wash it and find it a home.
Do good, save lives, a sense of significance will help you forgive your “mistakes”.
How to let go of a dead pet
Beautiful legends about the “Rainbow Bridge” and about a better world do not soothe the soul, but make the loss more difficult. No one knows what lies on the “other side of death”, and the vain hope of a meeting makes the pain stronger.
Here are some tips from psychologists and dog owners who have outlived their friends.
Take your time to forget
Firstly, this is another reason to blame yourself, and secondly, a person’s memory is out of control. Mourn the loss, cry, actively express emotions, but do not become depressed. Set aside time for mourning and give your pet the last honors.
“Generally accepted” mourning after the death of a person lasts 1 year, that is how much time the psyche needs to go through all the stages of grief, the cause of psychological trauma is not so important.
Put away your pet’s belongings
After a week or a month, when you’re ready, on the same day, neatly fold all your dog’s personal belongings and put them away where they won’t be seen. You will be overcome by a feeling of betrayal, but it will pass, there is no other way out, you need to let go.
1. Take care of your memory
Make a memory book – pet photos and all the positive stories you can remember should be placed in one beautifully designed album. It is good if the book is compiled by all family members and everyone can add stories and a piece of memories from themselves.
This step will help to push out negative memories and remember happy moments that fade into the background in moments of grief. Paint a picture, plant a tree, post an obituary, write a poem—do anything meaningful that will live on after the mourning is over.
2. Fill the void
Perhaps the biggest pain is emptiness. When you jump out of bed to take your pet for a walk, when your hand reaches for the leash on the nightstand, when out of habit you go to the pet store for snacks. All these “mechanical” events are accompanied by acute attacks of pain.
Find a hobby for yourself – an activity that fascinates you will help redirect some of your thoughts in a positive direction. Taking your free time, you will not leave yourself a chance for self-flagellation.
3. Do not forget who you were for the dog
Evaluate your merits – you changed the world of this dog, you had all the worries about health and well-being on your shoulders, and after all, many dogs do not see even a hundredth of what your pet has known . Do not forget about how much you have done, praise yourself.
Think about what would happen if your dog outlived you. Could your pet survive the loss? The human psyche is arranged in a special way – “do not feel sorry for yourself.” So do not regret, be proud – you have already changed one fate, you took the blow on yourself and kept it!
4. Don’t rush to get another dog
Don’t get a new pet until the pain of the loss subsides. Many families, especially those in which a child suffers from the death of a dog, quickly get a new puppy, in the hope that “the wedge will break out with a wedge.”
As a result, the owners compare their new and departed pets all their lives, look for common features and live in the past. You can and should get a dog when, with memories of a departed dog, a smile appears on your face, not tears.
5. Professional assistance after the death of a dog
Grief is impossible to endure? Do you understand that you can’t do it? No one to support you? Don’t be shy and ask your doctor for help.
No self-respecting psychotherapist would say, “Yes, it’s just a dog,” but medical practitioners are well aware of how quickly a person destroys himself when depressed.
How to help a child come to terms with the death of a dog
An adult is able to “flagellate” himself and experience grief for a long time, but when a child falls into melancholy, parents panic. In fact, the child’s psyche is more flexible and adaptable. Judge for yourself, a just broken knee fades into the background at the sight of a new toy, and this is physical pain that cannot be stopped by a forced smile.
If we consider in detail the argument “The child suffers”, several conclusions arise:
- And why, in fact, the child should not suffer? He lost a friend and longing is normal.
- Life is given once and can end suddenly, again, if this fact is hidden from the child, it is worth thinking about his personal safety. Psychologists advise distracting children from negative emotions. Undoubtedly, it is necessary to switch attention, but the child must also experience the awareness of loss.
- A teenager who can perceive the loss of an animal superficially also worries, although this is not visible externally. The reason for such a “cold” behavior is the fear of facing the most terrible death – the loss of parents.
Child psychologists recommend preparing the child in advance for a possible loss. One method to soften the blow is to get a second dog when the pet is 8-9 years old. The youngest member of the family will have positive memories of both pets, who will spend 3-5 years together. When the time comes, the younger dog will take on some of the emotions and help the child deal with the loss more quickly.
Alexey Klimov
***********************************
Quiet rustle — not in the ears, but in the heart.