How can you tell if your relationship is truly healthy. What are the essential elements of a strong partnership. Why is trust crucial in romantic relationships. How do successful couples communicate effectively. What role does individual growth play in a thriving relationship.

The Foundation of Trust in Healthy Relationships

Trust forms the bedrock of any strong romantic partnership. In a healthy relationship, partners demonstrate trustworthiness through their actions and give each other space without constant checking or snooping. But how exactly do couples build and maintain this crucial trust?

Reliability is key. When partners consistently follow through on their commitments, it fosters a sense of security. Additionally, respecting each other’s privacy and independence shows faith in the relationship. Couples who trust each other feel comfortable spending time apart and don’t feel the need to monitor their partner’s every move.

Open and honest communication also plays a vital role in cultivating trust. Partners should feel safe sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or retaliation. When both individuals can be vulnerable and authentic with each other, it strengthens their bond.

Effective Communication: The Cornerstone of Understanding

Clear, respectful communication is essential for resolving conflicts and deepening intimacy in a relationship. How do couples in healthy partnerships typically communicate?

They express themselves openly yet tactfully, avoiding harsh criticism or contempt. Active listening is also crucial – partners make an effort to truly understand each other’s perspectives. Even during disagreements, they maintain a tone of respect and work together to find solutions.

Healthy couples also recognize that some issues may never be fully resolved. They learn to “agree to disagree” on certain topics without letting it damage their overall connection. This ability to accept differences is a sign of maturity in the relationship.

The Power of “I” Statements

One effective communication technique is using “I” statements instead of “you” statements during difficult conversations. For example, saying “I feel hurt when plans are cancelled last minute” rather than “You always let me down.” This approach expresses feelings without casting blame, making the other person less likely to become defensive.

Nurturing Individual Growth and Independence

Contrary to popular belief, maintaining individual identities is crucial for a thriving relationship. How do healthy couples balance togetherness with personal autonomy?

They encourage each other to pursue separate interests, hobbies, and friendships. This not only prevents unhealthy codependence but also keeps the relationship dynamic and exciting. Partners bring fresh experiences and perspectives to share with each other.

Supporting each other’s personal goals and ambitions is another hallmark of a strong partnership. Even if these aspirations don’t perfectly align, couples find ways to cheer each other on. This mutual support fosters an environment where both individuals can grow and evolve.

The Role of Physical and Emotional Intimacy

Intimacy encompasses both physical affection and emotional closeness. In a healthy relationship, how do couples maintain a strong intimate connection?

They prioritize quality time together, engaging in meaningful conversations and shared activities. Physical intimacy goes beyond just sex – it includes non-sexual touching, cuddling, and other forms of affection. Couples find a balance that satisfies both partners’ needs for closeness.

Emotional intimacy involves feeling safe to be vulnerable with each other. Partners share their fears, dreams, and insecurities, knowing they’ll be met with empathy and support. This deep emotional bond strengthens the overall relationship.

The Importance of Non-Sexual Touch

Regular non-sexual physical affection like hugging, hand-holding, or back rubs releases oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone.” This helps partners feel more connected and reduces stress levels. Healthy couples incorporate these small gestures of physical intimacy into their daily lives.

Navigating Conflict with Respect and Understanding

Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but how couples handle conflict reveals much about the health of their partnership. What approaches do strong couples use to resolve disputes?

They focus on the issue at hand rather than attacking each other’s character. Even during heated moments, they avoid name-calling, insults, or bringing up past grievances. Instead, they strive to understand each other’s perspectives and find mutually satisfactory solutions.

Healthy couples also know when to take a break from an argument if emotions are running too high. They agree to revisit the topic when both partners are calmer and better able to communicate productively.

Maintaining a Sense of Fun and Shared Experiences

While dealing with life’s responsibilities, it’s easy for couples to neglect the playful side of their relationship. How do healthy partnerships keep the spark alive?

They make time for date nights, trying new activities together, or simply engaging in lighthearted banter. Sharing laughter and creating positive memories strengthens their bond. These couples also remain curious about each other, continuing to ask questions and discover new aspects of their partner’s personality.

Spontaneity plays a role too. Surprising each other with small gestures or planning unexpected outings adds excitement to the relationship. This prevents falling into a monotonous routine that can lead to boredom or dissatisfaction.

The Benefits of Shared Hobbies

While maintaining individual interests is important, having some shared hobbies can enhance a couple’s connection. Whether it’s cooking together, playing sports, or tackling home improvement projects, these joint activities provide opportunities for teamwork and create common experiences to bond over.

Respecting Boundaries and Personal Space

Healthy relationships strike a balance between closeness and independence. How do couples establish and maintain healthy boundaries?

They communicate openly about their needs for personal space and respect each other’s limits. This might involve having separate areas in the home for individual activities or agreeing on certain times when each partner can focus on their own interests without interruption.

Couples also respect each other’s privacy, refraining from snooping through personal belongings or demanding access to private communications. This demonstrates trust and shows that each person values their partner’s autonomy.

Supporting Each Other Through Life’s Challenges

Life inevitably brings difficulties, and how couples face these challenges together reveals the strength of their bond. In healthy relationships, how do partners support each other during tough times?

They offer emotional support, listening without judgment and providing comfort. Practical support is also important – helping with tasks or responsibilities when one partner is overwhelmed. Couples work as a team to overcome obstacles, rather than placing blame or leaving one person to struggle alone.

Additionally, healthy partners encourage each other to seek outside help when needed, whether that’s therapy, medical treatment, or support from friends and family. They recognize that sometimes professional assistance is necessary and view it as a sign of strength rather than weakness.

The Importance of Empathy

Empathy plays a crucial role in supporting a partner through difficulties. This involves trying to understand their feelings and perspective, even if you haven’t experienced the same situation. Empathetic responses like “That sounds really tough. I’m here for you” can be incredibly comforting and strengthen the emotional connection between partners.

In conclusion, healthy relationships are characterized by trust, effective communication, individual growth, intimacy, respectful conflict resolution, shared experiences, clear boundaries, and mutual support. By nurturing these aspects, couples can build a strong, lasting partnership that enhances both partners’ lives and well-being.

9 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

There’s more to a great union than sexual attraction and common interests. Here’s how to know if your partnership is healthy.

By Jessica MigalaMedically Reviewed by Seth Gillihan, PhD

Reviewed: April 7, 2023

Medically Reviewed

One of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship is giving each other enough space to pursue separate goals.Kristina Balashova/Stocksy

You and your partner love trying new restaurants together, going on long bike rides, and traveling, but when it comes to being happy and healthy in a relationship, there are other things to consider besides having common interests.

What exactly makes a relationship healthy? “A great relationship is a safe place for both people to love, honor, and respect one another,” says Jennifer Howell, a leadership and relationship coach based in North Carolina. You can communicate your wants, needs, and boundaries, as well as listen to the other person.

A healthy relationship is important to cultivate because the opposite — a toxic relationship — takes a toll on your quality of life by heightening depression and anxiety, impacting sleep, causing you to take up unhealthy habits, and even impacting heart health, says Mary Jo Rapini, a licensed professional counselor in Houston who specializes in intimacy and sex therapy.

Being in a high-quality romantic relationship is associated with greater well-being, according to a study from 2019. But being single was far better for someone’s well-being than being in a less happy partnership, the study found.

What’s more, many couples in unhealthy relationships don’t know that they are, especially if they grew up in a household where it was the norm, says Rapini. So it’s all the more important to be able to identify where yours stands.

Here are nine signs you and your mate are a good match:

1. You’re Not Afraid to Speak Up

It’s easy to know when your partner does something you don’t like — maybe they don’t call you for two days or don’t help out around the house when you live together. But it’s not always easy to speak up and tell your significant other how you’re feeling. “This takes a lot of strength, self-confidence, and courage, because you have to come from a vulnerable place,” says Howell. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel secure enough to be open with your partner.

2. Trust Is at the Core of the Relationship

Trust is foundational in all relationships, but with social media and always-on gadgets, it can become all too easy to snoop. But in a healthy relationship, you don’t need to do that. In part, that’s because your partner shows you they’re trustworthy. “They’re reliable and available. When they say they’ll be there, they’ll be there,” says Rapini. They also show you they trust you by giving you the freedom and space you need without checking up on you constantly — and that includes checking your phone, she says.

3. You Know Each Other’s Love Language

Many couples swear by the book The 5 Love Languages for a reason: In it, you discover your partner’s “love language” — the way they prefer to give and receive love (through words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch). In a healthy relationship, you’ve taken the time to learn each other’s “love language” so you can express your love in a way that works for you both, says Howell.

4. You Agree to Disagree on Certain Issues

Every couple fights. But contrary to what you might think, you don’t need to fix every issue. In fact, it’s okay to have a handful of topics that you two will never agree on. Sometimes, “it’s totally fine to agree to disagree. I think that’s healthy fighting,” explains Rapini. “In healthy relationships, there are at least five issues that are ‘no-talkers.’ They’re the issues that you both differ in opinion and perspective on, and that’s okay.”

5. You Encourage Each Other to Go After Your Goals

“Many of us have a dream or vision for our life, and especially as we age, we want to maintain those visions,” says Howell. According to Howell, it’s okay if your dreams don’t align with one another as long as you “honor and encourage each other to achieve your goals. ”

6. You and Your Partner Hold Separate Interests

“Couples who have the greatest love affairs are the ones who are able to maintain their interests, but don’t put guilt on their partner for not sharing it with them,” she says. Meaning, both of you encourage the other to explore what they love on their own. Howell agrees, adding that while it’s easy to adopt your partner’s habits and interests, over time becoming over-reliant on each other can breed resentment. “Developing and investing in yourself builds self-confidence, self-love, and joy,” she says.

7. You’re Comfortable in Your Own Skin

When you’re in a relationship, it’s crucial to know your strengths and weaknesses, says Howell. Maybe you’re confident around your friends but self-conscious at work. Or you know that little things, like your partner forgetting to take out the trash, can set you off. Whatever your strengths and weaknesses are, being aware of them can help you reach a point of loving and accepting yourself, which in turn can help you love and accept your partner.

8. Boundaries Are Honored and Respected

A healthy relationship means you’re both on the same team. “In a healthy relationship, both parties discuss and agree upon important subjects that are meaningful to one another,” says Howell. She gives the example of budgeting for something big, like a vacation. An unsupportive partner in an unhealthy relationship doesn’t honor that goal, and they may sabotage it by trying to get you to splurge on something unnecessary. If you can talk it out with your partner and they acknowledge and understand your boundaries, that’s a good sign, notes Howell. “However, if your partner repeatedly ignores what you value, including your boundaries, that’s concerning,” she says.

9. You Feel Happy and Supported

Once the initial elation of a new relationship wears off, check in with yourself: Do you feel happy and supported by your partner? How are your mood and self-esteem? If you feel any strain or lack of support, talk to your significant other — it’s the healthy thing to do.

Feeling unhappy in a relationship can lead to health problems down the road. According to a study from 2015, which looked at nearly 5,000 adults over age 50 who were partnered up, having regular negative interactions in a relationship increases the likelihood of suffering from depression and anxiety, and is even linked to suicidal thoughts, likely because relationship dysfunction drives up day-to-day stress. On the other hand, strong partnerships protect people when they’re in the midst of a crisis — exactly the time they need someone on their side.

Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking

• Hudson NW, Lucas RE, Donnellan MB. The Highs and Lows of Love: Romantic Relationship Quality Moderates Whether Spending Time With One’s Partner Predicts Gains or Losses in Well-Being. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. April 2020.
• Santini ZI, Koyanagi A. Tyrovolas S, Haro, JM. The Association of Relationship Quality and Social Networks With Depression, Anxiety, and Suicidal Ideation Among Older Married Adults: Findings From a Cross-Sectional Analysis of the Irish Longitudinal Study on Ageing (TILDA). Journal of Affective Disorders. July 1, 2015.

Show Less

By subscribing you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Living Well With HPV: 5 Steps for Safer Sex

People who know they have HPV need to protect their sexual partners and safeguard their own health. But almost every sexually active person has HPV at…

By Beth W. OrensteinApril 27, 2023

Do Women Need to Douche?

As many as 2 of every 5 American women douche. However, doctors warn that douching is completely unnecessary and can lead to serious medical problems….

By Dennis Thompson JrApril 10, 2023

How to Avoid Vaginal Cuts

Minor vaginal tears and cuts are common in sexually active women, but can be prevented and treated.

By Connie BrichfordApril 10, 2023

Libido Supplements for Sex — Do They Work?

It’s temping to buy libido supplements or vitamins for sex instead of discussing intimate issues with your doctor. But they’re not regulated and may not…

By Diana RodriguezMarch 17, 2023

Best Sex Toys of 2023 for Your Sexual Health

Hunting for the best sex toys? We reviewed 15 adult sex toys for couples, solo play, anal play, by costs, features, and more.

By Chrissy HolmMarch 13, 2023

Exercise Can Help Men Last Longer During Sex, Research Suggests

For men who want to last longer during sex, physical activity such as running, yoga, and pelvic floor workouts can help, according to new research.

By Becky UphamMarch 10, 2023

What Is Hypogonadism? Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Prevention

Hypogonadism is a condition in which the sexual glands don’t make adequate levels of testosterone (in males) or estrogen or progesterone (in females)….

By Don RaufMarch 7, 2023

FDA Now Allows Retail Pharmacies to Dispense Abortion Pills

With a new FDA ruling, retail pharmacies are now permitted to dispense abortion pills, expanding the options for people looking to end a pregnancy.

By Lisa RapaportJanuary 4, 2023

13 FAQs About Types, How to Have One, and More

You can orgasm from stimulation to the clitoris, vagina, or cervix — or some combination of the three. You may also be able to orgasm from stimulating other areas of the body as well.

No, “female orgasm” is an all-encompassing term for any type of orgasm related to female genitalia.

It could be clitoral, vaginal, even cervical — or a mix of all three. That said, your genitalia isn’t your only option when it comes to achieving the big O.

Read on for tips on where to touch, how to move, why it works, and more.

Direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris can lead to a clitoral orgasm. When you get your rub on just right, you’ll feel the sensation build in your pleasure bud and peak.

Try this

Your fingers, palm, or a small vibrator can all help you have a clitoral orgasm.

Make sure your clitoris is wet and begin gently rubbing in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion.

As it begins to feel good, apply faster and harder pressure in a repetitive motion.

When you feel your pleasure intensify, apply even more pressure to the motion to take yourself over the edge.

Although few people are able to climax with vaginal stimulation alone, it sure can be fun trying!

If you’re able to make it happen, prepare for an intense climax that can be felt deep inside your body.

The front vaginal wall is also home to the anterior fornix, or A-spot.

Older research suggests that stimulating the A-spot can result in intense lubrication and even orgasm.

Try this

Fingers or a sex toy should do the trick. Since the pleasure comes from the vaginal walls, you’ll want to experiment with width. Do this by inserting an extra finger or two into the vagina, or try a sex toy with some extra girth.

To stimulate the A-spot, focus the pressure on the front wall of the vagina while sliding your fingers or toy in and out. Stick with the pressure and motion that feels the best, and let the pleasure mount.

Cervical stimulation has the potential to lead to a full-body orgasm that can send waves of tingly pleasure from your head to your toes.

And this is an orgasm that can keep on giving, lasting quite a while for some.

Your cervix is the lower end of your uterus, so reaching it means going in deep.

Try this

Being relaxed and aroused is key to achieving a cervical orgasm. Use your imagination, rub your clitoris, or let your partner work some foreplay magic.

The doggy-style position allows for deep penetration, so try being on all fours with a penetrative toy or partner.

Start off slow, gradually working your way deeper until you find a depth that feels good, and keep at it so the pleasure can build.

A combo orgasm can be achieved by pleasuring your vagina and clitoris simultaneously.

The result: a powerful climax that you can feel inside and out.

Be sure to supersize your combo by adding some other erogenous zones to the mix.

Try this

Use both your hands to double your pleasure, or combine fingers and sex toys. Rabbit vibrators, for example, can stimulate the clitoris and vagina at the same time and are perfect for mastering the combo orgasm.

Use parallel rhythms while playing with your clitoris and vagina, or switch it up with fast clitoral action and slow vaginal penetration.

The genitals are awesome, but they’re not your only option. Your body is full of erogenous zones with orgasmic potential.

Nipple

Your nipples are full of nerve endings that can feel oh-so-good when played with.

According to a 2011 study, when stimulated, your nipples set your genital sensory cortex ablaze. This is the same area of the brain that lights up during vaginal or clitoral stimulation.

Nipple orgasms are said to sneak up on you, then explode in waves of full-body pleasure. Yes, please!

Try this: Use your hands to caress and squeeze your breasts and other parts of your body, avoiding the nipples at first.

Move on to teasing your areola by tracing it with your fingertips until you’re really turned on, then show your nipples some love by rubbing and pinching them until you reach maximum pleasure.

Anal

You don’t need to have a prostate to have an anal orgasm. Anal play can be pleasurable for anyone if you have enough lube and take your time.

You can indirectly stimulate erogenous zones within the vagina using a finger or sex toy.

Try this: Apply ample lube with your fingers and massage it around your anus. This won’t just lube you up — it’ll also help get you ready for anal play.

Massage the outside and inside of the opening, then slowly and gently insert your sex toy or finger into your anus. Try a gentle in and out motion, then begin to move in a circular motion. Alternate between the two and pick up the pace as your pleasure builds.

Erogenous zones

Your body really is a wonderland. The neck, ears, and lower back, for example, are rich in erotically charged nerve endings begging to be touched.

We can’t say exactly which parts of your body will drive you to the brink, but we can tell you that everyone has erogenous zones, and finding them is definitely worth the effort.

Try this: Take a feather or silky scarf and use it to find your body’s most sensitive areas.

Get naked and relax so you can focus on every tingle. Take note of these spots, and try experimenting with different sensations, like squeezing or pinching.

Practice makes perfect, so pleasure these areas and keep at it to see how far you can go.

The G-spot is an area along the front wall of your vagina. For some people, it can produce a very intense and very wet orgasm when stimulated.

Your fingers or a curved G-spot vibrator are the best way to hit the spot. Squatting will give you the best angle.

Try this: Squat with the back of your thighs close to or touching your heels, and insert your fingers or toy into your vagina. Curl your fingers up toward your belly button and move them in a “come here” motion.

If you happen to find an area that feels especially good, keep going — even if you feel like you have to pee — and enjoy the full-body release.

Every body is different, and so are their orgasms. Some are more intense than others. Some last longer than others. Some are wetter than others.

What physically happens during orgasm is:

• Your vagina and uterus contract rapidly.
• You experience involuntary muscle contractions in other parts, like your abdomen and feet.
• Your heart rate and breathing quicken.
• Your blood pressure increases.

You may feel a sudden relief of sexual tension, or even ejaculate.

It may be surprising, but they’re not all that different.

Both involve increased blood flow to the genitals, faster breathing and heart rate, and muscle contractions.

Where they typically differ is in duration and recovery — also known as afterglow.

Female orgasm may also last longer, ranging from 13 to 51 seconds on average, while male orgasm often ranges from 10 to 30 seconds.

People with a vagina can typically have more orgasms if stimulated again.

People with a penis typically have a refractory phase. Orgasms aren’t possible during this period, which can last from minutes to days.

People with a clitoris may also go through a similar phase. A 2009 study involving 174 university students found that 96 percent of female participants experienced hypersensitivity in the clitoris following orgasm.

Remember, the range of the refractory phase varies from person to person. Your own experience is unique to you.

Then there’s ejaculation. For a person with a penis, contractions force semen into the urethra and out of the penis. And speaking of ejaculation…

Yes! And it’s a fairly common thing.

A 2013 research review of female ejaculation found that more than 10 to 54 percent of participants experienced ejaculation during orgasm.

Ejaculation occurs when fluid is expelled from your urethral opening during orgasm or sexual arousal.

The ejaculate is a thick, whitish fluid that resembles watered-down milk. It contains some of the same components as semen.

The orgasm gap refers to the gap between the number of male and female orgasms in heterosexual sex, where those with female genitalia are getting the shorter end of the stick.

A 2018 study on orgasms in heterosexual newlywed couples found that 87 percent of husbands and only 49 percent of wives reported consistently experiencing orgasms during sexual activity.

Why the gap? Researchers don’t know for certain. Some argue it could be biological, while others blame cultural and societal perspectives and a lack of education when it comes to pleasure.

If you have a clitoris or a vagina, you know that real-life orgasms can be pretty different from what they show on TV.

The first thing you should do is take the pressure off so you can enjoy yourself.

This is one scenario where it really is more about the journey than the destination.

Instead, take the time to get to know your body and concentrate on how it feels.

You may find it helpful to:

• get comfy somewhere you won’t be interrupted or distracted, like in your bed or the bath
• try reading an erotic story or using your imagination to get yourself in the mood
• massage the fleshy area above your clitoris and the outer and inner lips of your vulva until you begin to get wet, maybe also using lube
• start rubbing your clitoris over the hood and find a rhythm that feels good
• rub faster and harder, increasing the speed and pressure to intensify the feeling, and keep at it until you orgasm

If you don’t orgasm, you can always try again. Trying new things is the best way to figure out what turns you on and how to orgasm.

Some people orgasm more easily than others, so not having one doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong.

If you feel like you’re having trouble climaxing or have other concerns, see a doctor or other healthcare professional who specializes in sexual health.

They can answer any questions you may have and may be able to make some recommendations.

How to achieve orgasm? Reasons why girls don’t cum in bed

Unfortunately, although some facts in our life are disappointing, they cannot be denied. One of them is that most women find it difficult to achieve orgasm. Researchers have proven that only 10% of girls easily enjoy themselves in bed. What about the other 90%? They have to face a lot of difficulties in this matter, ranging from what position they are in during sex, ending with what they do throughout the day.

For men, this is much easier. For them, getting an orgasm is pretty easy. We, women, in such a piquant matter have to play by different rules. Each of us is unique in our structure. Figuring out what works for you can be very difficult. But that doesn’t mean you should just give up. If you are one of those women who doesn’t know how to achieve orgasm, then this article is for you. Here are 15 reasons why an orgasm never comes into your sex life.

You are anxious

“Anxiety can cause intrusive thoughts that make it difficult to achieve orgasm,” says New York City psychiatrist and MD Grant Hilary Brenner. A recent survey by the University of Valparaiso, in Indiana, shows that more than half of women find it difficult to have an orgasm because of anxiety. Plus, uncertainty and doubts cause other unpleasant thoughts during sex. If you think this is playing a role in your sex life, you may want to talk to a therapist about it.

You don’t tense your muscles

Women who find it difficult to have an orgasm often hear, “Just relax.” But sex therapist Luanne Cole Weston says that’s likely the wrong approach. “Tightening your muscles is sometimes necessary to achieve orgasm. In my experience, many women learn to have an orgasm by tensing the muscles in their legs, abdomen, and buttocks,” writes Dr. Weston. He also advises to strain the muscles of the lower pelvis, the same ones that are involved in the Kegel exercise.

You don’t have enough lube

The Valparaiso University survey also found that a quarter of girls blamed lack of lubrication for not being able to experience pleasure. “Lubrication makes the female and male genitals more sensitive. So it helps women achieve orgasm,” writes Michael Castleman, author of Good Sex.

Wrong approach

“Pornography is how most of us learn about sex,” writes sexologist Blair Lindsay. Many people believe that faster and stronger means better, but this is far from the truth. Orgasms are directly related to the female nervous system. Since each of us is built differently, many need a more gentle approach.

Have you tried toys yet? They can improve your sexual experience and help you achieve orgasm. Based on a 2017 survey, about 40% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm. “Some people need a lot of stimulation, which is only possible with a vibrator,” says Castleman. You can start with something small, like a bullet vibrator.

you don’t masturbate

“How often you indulge yourself has a direct impact on your chances of having an orgasm in bed,” says family psychologist and sexologist Kat Van Kirk. Why? Using imagination during masturbation helps a woman understand what and how she wants in bed. It also helps to open up her creative side and remove many inhibitions. By the way, Jenny Block, author of a book about orgasms, advises masturbating a couple of times a week.

You do not tell your partner about your desires

Unfortunately, none of us can read another’s mind. So, if you don’t talk about what really turns you on, it will be difficult for your partner to bring you to orgasm. We are all arranged differently, which means that those movements and postures that one likes, another may not like at all. In this regard, it is worth learning a lesson – do not be silent. Dr. Van Kirk says, “Sometimes even a groan or a touch of the hand can tell you how to proceed.” But if your partner still doesn’t know, tell him directly or point his hand where you want. By the way, most people believe that women who are confident in bed are very sexy.

You forgot to go to the toilet

It’s no secret that you need to go to the toilet immediately after sex to prevent a urinary tract infection. But you should also do this before sexual intercourse. “Achieving an orgasm with a full bladder can be incredibly difficult,” says Jenny Block. The reason is quite simple, instead of enjoying the moment, you are constantly thinking about what you need to go to the toilet. If you can’t take it, Dr. Van Kirk has this advice: “Dim the lights, light a candle, and invite your partner to masturbate while you go to the bathroom.”

This is a side effect of your medications

Every medication has a list of side effects. So, we advise you to read it! “Some drugs can cause a spike in prolactin, a protein that lowers libido. He may be the cause of your difficulties,” says Dr. Van Kirk. Commonly used drugs are oral contraceptives, blood pressure medications, and antidepressants. Van Kirk adds that antihistamine pills can also work against you, as they reduce lubrication and therefore worsen the quality of sex. If this is your case, then stock up on extra lube from their sex shop or pharmacy and talk to your doctor about possibly switching drugs if no problems follow.

You spend most of your day sitting

Chaining yourself to your desk may make your boss happier, but it’s definitely not the best solution for your pelvic muscles. A sedentary lifestyle shortens them, which leads to pain in the pelvic region. To avoid this problem, Dr. Van Kirk advises moving every half hour to an hour. In order not to forget, you should set an alarm. If you can use the conference room, you can do a couple of exercises in the form of stretching, squats and body twists.

You are afraid to let things go out of control

When you are used to being in control, it can be difficult to relax in bed. But trying to control everything can prevent you from having an orgasm. Why? Well, at least because the orgasm takes over your body up and it becomes difficult to control it. If this worries you, fear not! In extreme cases, a shiver will run through your body and the walls of the vagina will contract. The main thing, remember, at this moment you need to surrender to feelings and do not forget to breathe. Let your body enjoy. If it seems to you that you still need help, try contacting a sex therapist.

You don’t make a sound

Women who are not afraid to use their voice during sex have been shown to experience more, stronger and longer orgasms. So if something turns you on, say it! You can show it with groans or screams. If you are still uncomfortable, we advise you to work on your sensory sensations. Feel the body of your partner, enjoy his touch. Focus on these feelings and it will be easier for you to enjoy the process by letting go of the situation.

You have low levels of oxytocin

Oxytocin, which is also known as the hormone of happiness and love, is directly related to orgasms, says Dr. Van Kirk. If your body does not produce enough of this hormone, you may find it difficult to achieve satisfaction. Stress is the main cause of low oxytocin levels. Don’t worry, spending more time with your partner, holding hands, making eye contact, and kissing can boost this hormone. If you have a pet, hug him more often, scientists have proven that this contributes to the release of oxytocin.

You often wear heels

Shoes with heels not only hurt to walk, they also have a deforming effect on the psoas muscles, which are connected to the pelvic muscles and nerves, as well as the genitals. “When your psoas muscles are tense and deformed due to wearing high heels for a long time, they cannot transmit the arousal signal necessary for an orgasm,” explains Dr. Eden Fromberg, founder of the gynecological center in New York. Therefore, try to give preference to more comfortable shoes.

You are not drinking enough water

Drinking water regularly can prevent everyday problems such as fatigue and constipation. Also, it will help you achieve orgasm. The arousal tissue needs a lot of fluid to function properly, explains Dr. Formberg. So, make sure you drink enough water. Especially after drinking a couple of cocktails, because alcohol dehydrates the body.

Author. Ramina Ibragimova x Harper’s BAZAAR Kazakhstan. Photo. Shutterstock.com

Share:

Scientists have found that women get an orgasm in just four ways

18+

American researchers have found out which four techniques women most often use to enjoy penetrative sex.

Tags:

Sex

Orgasm

the science

female orgasm

How to get an orgasm

Getty images

For many years, studying the topic of sex was considered indecent. The very first studies of sexual physiology arose as a “side effect” of research related to fertility, obstetrics, gynecology and venereal diseases. Only recently has science begun to look for ways to improve intimate life.

Until now, there are not very many studies on orgasm. And therefore, the results of the new, published in the Plos One magazine in April 2021, are of particular interest.

Researchers at the Indiana University School of Medicine set out to find out how women get orgasms during penetrative sex. Men prefer to think that it is very simple: any normal girl should “come” from frictions (or even better – from delight at the sight of a penis). However, no matter which survey you open, it becomes clear: women need clitoral stimulation.

However, not every man can find him. Not so long ago, girls came up with the game “Where is the clitoris?”: cunnilingus masters who promise women unearthly pleasure on dating services ask this simple question, and then enjoy the answers and share them on social networks. Here are some real assumptions men have about the location of this organ:

ADVERTISING – CONTINUED BELOW

“Five places near the pussy.”

“In Abkhazia”.

“Right on the lip between the legs.”

Above Hole.

“Well, it turns out below the forehead.”

“It’s different for everyone.”

“This is a pendant.”

A sad picture, isn’t it? So girls have to get out in an attempt to enjoy ordinary penetrative sex (fortunately, men have already learned how to find a vagina). Scientists interviewed 4270 women aged 18 to 93 years from all over the world and found that there are only four main ways to achieve an orgasm from frictions. The researchers came up with names for them themselves (and, apparently, one of them was an avid fisherman).

“Rocking” (Rocking)

The essence of the method is that during penetration, the base of the penis constantly rubs against the clitoris, while the penis itself remains completely in the vagina, and does not move in and out. Rocking was ever used by 76.4% of respondents, and 70.2% of them helped make sex more enjoyable.

Angling

87.5% of respondents said that during penetration they look for the right angle by changing the position of the hips. Women rotate, raise or lower their buttocks, listening to sensations and choosing a position in which pleasure is maximum. At the same time, 83.5% of the girls using “angling” ticked the box “tilt the pelvis up”, 67.6% tried “tilt the hips down”. Why they called it fishing (or fishing) – don’t ask, we don’t know.

Pairing

This method was used by 69.7% of respondents. The method is very simple: the woman (or her partner) uses fingers or a vibrator at the same time as penetration to further stimulate the clitoris or vagina. Surprisingly, this method was called pleasant least of all by the girls who took part in the study. However, maybe the point is that the pleasure of the process is spoiled by the questions of some men: “Is my penis not enough for you? Is there something wrong with him? No, you answer me, am I a bad lover?!”

Shallowing

About 84% of women, the researchers found, love penetrative touch near the entrance to the vagina – no longer outside, but also not deep inside.