How can specific sexual techniques enhance a woman’s pleasure. What are the four key methods identified by researchers for optimizing female sexual arousal. Why is having language to describe sexual preferences important for women’s empowerment.

Unveiling the Science of Female Sexual Pleasure

Recent research has shed light on the intricacies of female sexual pleasure, providing valuable insights into the techniques that can enhance intimate experiences. A groundbreaking study conducted by researchers Devon J. Hensel, PhD, and Christiana von Hippel, ScD, has identified four specific methods that women commonly use to optimize their sexual arousal and satisfaction.

The study, which involved a cross-sectional, online national probability survey of 3,017 American women aged 18-93, aimed to explore the specific sexual moves and methods that contribute to heightened pleasure. By giving names to these techniques, the researchers have empowered women to better communicate their preferences and needs to their partners.

The Four Key Techniques for Enhanced Female Pleasure

The research team identified and named four primary techniques that women use to maximize their sexual pleasure during penetration:

1. Angling
2. Pairing
3. Rocking
4. Shallowing

Each of these methods offers unique benefits and can be tailored to individual preferences. Let’s explore them in more detail.

Angling: Precision in Positioning

Angling involves rotating, raising, or lowering the pelvis and hips during penetration to adjust where inside the vagina the toy or penis rubs. This technique allows for precise stimulation of specific areas within the vagina, enhancing pleasure and potentially leading to more intense orgasms.

Is angling a popular technique among women? The study revealed that an impressive 87% of respondents reported using this method, making it the most commonly employed technique among the four identified.

Pairing: Dual Stimulation for Heightened Arousal

Pairing refers to the simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris with a finger or sex toy during penetration. This technique combines internal and external stimulation, potentially leading to more intense and satisfying sexual experiences.

How many women incorporate pairing into their sexual repertoire? According to the study, 69% of respondents reported using this technique, highlighting its popularity and effectiveness in enhancing pleasure.

Rocking: A New Approach to Penetration

Rocking involves maintaining constant contact between the base of the penis or sex toy and the clitoris during penetration. Instead of thrusting in and out, the focus is on staying fully inserted and creating a rocking motion. This technique is often employed when the woman is on top, allowing for greater control and consistent clitoral stimulation.

One study participant shared an insightful comment about rocking: “We had to ‘unlearn’ the fast-pumping motions we had seen in porn. And we’re both much happier with our new ways.” This statement underscores the importance of exploring personal preferences rather than relying on potentially unrealistic portrayals in media.

How prevalent is the rocking technique? The study found that 76% of respondents incorporated rocking into their sexual experiences, indicating its widespread appeal.

Shallowing: Focusing on the Entrance

Shallowing involves penetrative touch just inside the entrance of the vagina, rather than deep penetration. This technique can be particularly pleasurable for some women, as the vaginal entrance is rich in nerve endings.

One participant in the study emphasized the effectiveness of shallowing, stating, “I think this area is really underrated. I can have really amazing sex with penetration just going in an inch and never further.”

Is shallowing a common practice among women? The research revealed that 84% of respondents utilized this technique, making it the second most popular method among the four identified.

The Power of Language in Sexual Communication

Dr. von Hippel emphasizes the importance of having specific terms to describe these sexual techniques. “Naming pleasure and pleasure techniques are specifically empowering and usable, so women can feel comfortable and confident using them with partners,” she explains.

How does having a shared vocabulary for sexual techniques benefit women? It allows for more effective communication with partners, facilitates discussions about sex with friends, and helps normalize various preferences and experiences. This language empowers women to articulate their desires and feel heard in their sexual relationships.

Flexibility and Adaptability in Sexual Preferences

One of the key insights from this research is the recognition that sexual preferences can change over time and in different contexts. Dr. von Hippel notes, “What you enjoy can change in the middle of a sexual experience, and it can change over your life.”

How can women use this knowledge to enhance their sexual experiences? By having a diverse “menu” of techniques and terms at their disposal, women can adapt to their changing desires and communicate them effectively. This flexibility allows for a more nuanced and satisfying approach to sexual pleasure.

The Impact on Sexual Education and Partner Communication

The identification and naming of these techniques represent a significant step forward in sexual pleasure education for women. Lou Paget, a certified sex educator, expresses enthusiasm for this research, stating, “Finally! It’s about time!”

Paget highlights that much of the previous research has focused primarily on male sexual response, leaving a gap in understanding and communicating female pleasure. This new language bridges that gap, benefiting not only women but also their partners who want to enhance their sexual experiences together.

The Role of Clitoral Stimulation in Female Pleasure

A common thread among all four techniques identified in the study is their connection to clitoral stimulation. This finding aligns with existing knowledge about the importance of the clitoris in female sexual pleasure.

Why is clitoral stimulation so crucial for many women? The clitoris is highly sensitive and packed with nerve endings, making it a primary source of sexual pleasure for many women. While vaginal penetration can provide feelings of fullness and connection, clitoral stimulation often plays a central role in achieving orgasm.

Incorporating Clitoral Stimulation into Sexual Activities

Given the importance of clitoral stimulation, how can couples ensure it’s a consistent part of their sexual encounters? Here are some suggestions:

• Experiment with different positions that allow for easy access to the clitoris
• Use hands or sex toys to provide additional stimulation during penetration
• Explore oral sex techniques that focus on the clitoris
• Communicate openly about preferences and sensations

Empowering Women Through Sexual Knowledge and Communication

The research conducted by Hensel and von Hippel represents a significant step forward in understanding and articulating female sexual pleasure. By providing a common language for these techniques, women are better equipped to explore their own preferences, communicate with partners, and ultimately enhance their sexual experiences.

How can women use this information to improve their sex lives? Here are some practical steps:

1. Experiment with the four identified techniques to discover personal preferences
2. Use the new terminology when discussing desires with partners
3. Share experiences and insights with trusted friends to normalize conversations about pleasure
4. Remain open to evolving preferences and continue exploring new sensations
5. Prioritize open communication and mutual satisfaction in sexual relationships

By embracing this knowledge and fostering open dialogue about sexual pleasure, women can take control of their intimate experiences and work towards more satisfying and fulfilling sexual relationships.

The Future of Female Sexual Pleasure Research

This groundbreaking study opens the door for further research into female sexual pleasure and satisfaction. As our understanding of these topics continues to evolve, we can expect to see more nuanced discussions and potentially the identification of additional techniques or factors that contribute to optimal sexual experiences.

What areas of female sexual pleasure might future research explore? Some potential avenues include:

• The role of emotional and psychological factors in sexual satisfaction
• The impact of hormonal changes on sexual preferences and responses
• Cultural influences on sexual techniques and communication
• The intersection of physical and mental health with sexual pleasure
• The effects of long-term relationships on sexual preferences and behaviors

As we continue to expand our understanding of female sexuality, it’s crucial to maintain an open and non-judgmental approach to these discussions. Every woman’s experience is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to foster an environment where women feel empowered to explore, communicate, and prioritize their own pleasure.

Embracing Sexual Diversity and Individual Preferences

While the four techniques identified in this study provide valuable insights, it’s important to remember that they represent common patterns rather than universal rules. Every woman’s body is different, and personal preferences can vary widely.

How can women navigate the diverse landscape of sexual preferences? Here are some tips:

• Approach sexual exploration with curiosity and openness
• Communicate openly and honestly with partners about desires and boundaries
• Be willing to try new things while respecting personal comfort levels
• Recognize that preferences may change over time and in different contexts
• Seek out reliable resources for sexual education and information

By embracing the diversity of sexual experiences and preferences, women can cultivate a healthy and satisfying approach to their intimate lives.

Integrating New Knowledge into Intimate Relationships

Armed with this new understanding of female sexual pleasure techniques, how can couples work together to enhance their intimate experiences? Here are some strategies for incorporating this knowledge into existing relationships:

1. Have an open discussion about the four techniques and personal preferences
2. Set aside time to experiment with different methods in a relaxed, pressure-free environment
3. Provide honest feedback to each other about what feels good
4. Be patient and understanding as you both learn and adapt to new techniques
5. Regularly check in with each other about sexual satisfaction and desires

Remember that building a satisfying sexual relationship is an ongoing process that requires open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to learn and adapt.

The Role of Sex Education in Promoting Sexual Satisfaction

The insights gained from this research highlight the importance of comprehensive sex education that goes beyond basic anatomy and contraception. By incorporating discussions about pleasure, communication, and diverse techniques, sex education programs can better prepare individuals for satisfying and healthy sexual relationships.

What elements should be included in comprehensive sex education to promote sexual satisfaction? Consider the following:

• Information about diverse sexual techniques and their potential benefits
• Guidance on effective communication about sexual preferences and boundaries
• Discussion of the importance of mutual pleasure and consent
• Information about the role of the clitoris and other erogenous zones in sexual pleasure
• Strategies for exploring and understanding personal sexual preferences

By providing more comprehensive and pleasure-focused sex education, we can empower individuals to approach their sexual lives with confidence, knowledge, and respect for themselves and their partners.

Sexual Technique Terms Help Optimize Sexual Pleasure

Four Ways to Achieve Heightened Sexual Arousal

After analyzing the results from an international qualitative study, the researchers, Devon J. Hensel, PhD, an associate research professor at Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis, and Christiana von Hippel, ScD, an OMGYES research scientist, found a recurring pattern of four specific techniques that never really had words to describe them before. The team then looked closer into these four techniques using a cross-sectional, online, national probability survey of 3,017 American women ages 18–93.

“We took this deeper dive into the patterns to find out the percentage of women who used each technique during vaginal penetration and then looked at how those specific techniques impacted their pleasure,” says Dr. von Hippel. In other words, they looked at the specific sexual moves and methods that turned them on.

RELATED: Women and Orgasm: Facts About the Female Climax

The researchers gave terms for each of these sexual methods to help women identify and communicate what feels best to them.

• Angling Rotating, raising, or lowering pelvis and hips during penetration to adjust where inside the vagina the toy or penis rubs; 87 percent of respondents used this method.
• Pairing A woman or her partner stimulates her clitoris with a finger or sex toy simultaneously with penetration. (69 percent)
• Rocking The base of a penis or sex toy rubs against the clitoris constantly during penetration by staying all the way inside the vagina rather than thrusting in and out. Usually used when the woman is on top. One of the respondents explained its allure: “We had to ‘unlearn’ the fast-pumping motions we had seen in porn. And we’re both much happier with our new ways.” (76 percent)
• Shallowing Penetrative touch just inside the entrance of the vagina. Another respondent said, “I think this area is really underrated. I can have really amazing sex with penetration just going in an inch and never further. ” (84 percent)

Using Language for Sexual Techniques Is Powerful

“I think naming pleasure and pleasure techniques are specifically empowering and usable, so women can feel comfortable and confident using them with partners. They are also important for when women discuss their sex lives with friends, such as ‘I like this, why don’t you try that?’ To be able to specifically describe what they like and to be able to ask for it is incredibly empowering and helps women to feel like their voices are heard. There is also a normalizing effect as well when they realize that what they like is a pattern that’s shared by lots of women,” says von Hippel.

RELATED: Masturbation 101: A Guide to Solo Sex for Women 

Dr. von Hippel adds that having language also allows women to be flexible and describe what they want at the moment. “What you enjoy can change in the middle of a sexual experience, and it can change over your life. Having this large menu or repertoire of words and techniques that you can pull from is great, because then it’s also not a question of “I am a woman who likes x.’ It might be ‘I am a woman who loves pairing in this context and shallowing in this context and angling at this age.’ Women can feel confident to communicate and mix and match.”

A Step Forward in Sexual Pleasure Education for Women

When Lou Paget, an American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists certified sex educator, heard of this new study her first response was, “Finally! It’s about time!”

Paget went on to explain, “I have been hearing women describe this stuff in my seminars for years but there really hasn’t been any guidance on how you do it. The main reason for that is because so much of the research work has always focused on the penile, vaginal, and men’s response.”

RELATED: BDSM: Learn the Ropes Before Diving In

Even if both partners are female, the two of them may not have had the language to communicate needs to each other. These words open that door.

Partners Can Learn About Pleasuring Others, Too

Paget also points out that the top question most men ask her is: How can he make things more pleasurable for his partner? “Men are so hungry for what they can do to make a partner feel good. They enjoy it more if she enjoys it more. Having language that can quickly describe what she likes is empowering to them as well,” says Paget, who is also the author of five books on sexuality, including Orgasms.

Clitoral Stimulation Is Key

Paget notes that all four techniques are connected to stimulating the clitoris at the same time. “This should not be any shock to any woman. For most, it isn’t the vaginal penetration that’s the most satisfying. That may feel good for feeling filled and connected to a partner. But it’s the shallowing, the rocking; those are all things that women have been doing for forever, that really bring women extreme pleasure,” she points out.

Again, this is important for men to know as well. “They have been fed misinformation from society at large and from watching unrealistic porn, where the women are usually deriving all their pleasure from penetration. Men need to learn the importance of clitoral stimulation as well,” she adds.

Achieving Female Orgasm: Tips for Partners

Experiment With Sex Toys That Work With Specific Techniques

When you figure out what you like, sex toys can help you get there either alone or with a partner. Tatyana Dyachenko, a sex coach with the online sex shop Peaches and Screams, reveals what types of toys work best with each technique.

For angling Sex swings allow the woman to rotate, raise, or lower her pelvis on the penetration item to allow for maximum pleasure.

For pairing A silicone mini finger vibrator stimulates your clitoris during penetration; a strap-on face dildo allows your partner to penetrate you while also using their tongue to stimulate the clitoris.

For rocking A raised ribbed “cock” sleeve with a clitoral stimulator and vibrator works for both parties: It helps thicken and support the penis for more firm erections, and the female partner can rub herself against the clitoral stimulator while being penetrated. Or, a vibrating clitoral stimulator delivers direct stimulation.

For shallowing Vibrating balls or eggs are inserted just inside the vagina without the need for deep penetration.

RELATED: Check Out Our Reviews of the Best Sex Toys for Individuals and Couples

More Research on Sexual Pleasure Is Needed

This survey did not ask women’s partners for feedback, which the team hopes to look at in the future. Von Hippel says, “What’s often really interesting is how the communication happens, how the names of the techniques are used and how partners feel about that. OMGYES has been hearing from couples or just the men that this has really changed the way they are able to connect and communicate, and he feels like he understands her more. For the first time, even though they maybe have been together for 20 years, something has finally clicked by having these words and having looked at the techniques together. Now they know there are always new things to explore, and the specifics of what feels good to her and how he can support her.”

RELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Sex Toy Care and Cleanliness

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11 Steps To Make A Woman Orgasm (The Basics & Beyond)

1.

It’d be nice to have one go-to method to make every girl you ever sleep with have an orgasm, but the truth is, no two women are exactly alike in terms of how they want to be touched.

“Every single body is different and wants different things. Intimacy is built on learning your partner’s turn-ons and their preferred methods of stimulation,” sexologist and certified sex coach Gigi Engle tells mbg.

You’re not a mind reader. Open, clear communication about consent, what feels good, and what doesn’t is essential to pleasurable sex that leads to orgasm.

When asking your partner about her sexual desires and needs, make sure to really listen to the answers so you can create the ultimate experience for her. 

2.

“Female orgasms are closely tied to mental and relational factors,” says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, CST, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, sexologist, and licensed marriage and family therapist for Adam & Eve. This means many women often need to be in the right mindset with a person who makes her feel comfortable to be able to surrender herself to an orgasm. 

Establishing a strong connection, spending time nurturing your romantic connection, or even just sexting throughout the day can help to build excitement for what’s to come—literally!

When you’re together IRL and starting to transition into sex, be mindful and make sure she’s really turned on, totally game, and ready to play.

If she’s into the idea of having sex but still is having trouble relaxing and getting in the mood, AASECT-certified sexuality therapist Rose Hartzell, Ph. D., Ed.S., suggests reading erotica and lighting candles to help her get into that sexy mindset. 

RELATED: 24 Types Of Orgasms & How To Try Each One

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3.

Be careful to pace yourself and avoid rushing into penetration, no matter how turned on you are. “Time to orgasm is directly connected to the mindset and the arousal buildup,” says Skyler. Take your time building anticipation by kissing, making out, and exploring her body and mind.

4.

Some women can orgasm through erogenous zone stimulation only. Spending 10 to 20 minutes on nongenital body parts will help a woman get more aroused and have a better chance at optimum pleasure, says Skyler.

Prior to direct genital contact, try kissing, teasing, and caressing her neck, ears, breasts, nipples, and inner thighs. Everybody has different preferences, though, so always be sure to ask your partner what she likes.

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5.

“Only 25% of those with a vulva can have an orgasm with penetration alone,” adds Skyler. If you have a penis, recognize that penetration might be what gets you to have an orgasm—but most likely, it’s not how she’s going to have one.

If you want women to enjoy having sex with you, you’ll need to relinquish the idea that it’s all about penetration and that everything else is “foreplay.” Some 75% of vulva owners need clitoral stimulation to orgasm—so consider that her main act.

6.

Stimulating the clitoris is key to how to make a girl orgasm. The average woman needs this for about 20 minutes in order to climax, says Engle. Once clitoral contact is made, she recommends following the three S’s—slow, subtle, soft—and letting your partner guide you faster and harder if/when she’s ready.

Use your fingers, tongue, a vibrator, or pressure on her clit. This can be done while penetrating inside her vagina, but recognize that the external stimulation is more important.

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7.

According to Hartzell, woman on top is the best PiV sex position to maximize clitoral stimulation (especially if she touches herself while riding you), whereas deeper penetration via woman straddling or man penetrating while she’s lying down with her legs in the air can promote a strong cervical orgasm. 

8.

Hartzell likes to refer to sex toys as the “hearing aid for the clitoris” because vibrators can help speed the process along and provide more intense orgasms that manual or oral stimulation may not offer. Experiment with different types of pleasure products and sensations before, during, or after penetrative sex to stimulate the clitoris and inspire maximum pleasure (and perhaps even multiple orgasms).

RELATED: 9 Best Sex Toys For Women: Full Guide For 2022

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9.

She may naturally lubricate when turned on to become “wet,” but it’s usually a good idea to use a high-quality intimate lubricant product as well, especially if you’re going to be penetrating her.

If and when her natural lubricant wears off (which is normal, no matter how turned on someone is), lube will help avoid tears and reduce friction, allowing her to continue enjoying the experience.

Communication is another form of good lube, Engle reminds, so keep the conversation going during the experience to help guide her to orgasm as smoothly and comfortably as possible.

10.

“Some women can obtain a very intense orgasm through edging, which includes almost bringing themselves to orgasm before backing off and bringing them back to orgasm again,” adds Hartzell. “This type of teasing can be very stimulating.”

11.

Orgasms are great, and it’s great that you care about your partner having fun during sex! However, Skyler warns that when we overemphasize orgasm, we can actually put too much pressure on both the giver and receiver and ultimately sabotage the whole experience.

Rather than putting it front and center as the main goal, she suggests relaxing and focusing on pleasure instead. “When we do this, the orgasm emerges as a surprising and delightful byproduct,” she says.

So when your partner finally gets from Point A to Destination O, the process will have been an enjoyable ride for everyone involved.

How to bring a woman to orgasm

18+

In addition to the G-spot, women have four more zones of pleasure.

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Helpful Hints

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Point A

Occurs in 11 percent of women do not reach the cervix. Right in front of it, you will find point A. Move your finger left and right along this zone, imitating the movements of a janitor on the windshield. Do you feel some kind of seal with a spongy surface with your finger? This means that you have not yet reached your destination, and this is point G that you met along the way. Remember this place, and then move a couple of centimeters deeper, to point A.

How to Wake Up: “The vagina only responds to pressure or movement, just getting to the right place and freezing in it will not be enough,” says sexologist Dr. Jennifer Berman with conviction and insistence. Proceed as follows: use lubrication, do not forget about a long foreplay, and then apply the “hook and pull” technique: reach point A with the pad of your finger, slightly press the “button” and slide your finger up to the entrance.

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O-spot

Occurs in eight percent of women

How to find: did you find her G-spot? It is done? Now turn your finger over, touch the opposite wall and move a little deeper until you feel a spongy area on the back wall of the vagina. Hello, this is point O. It is good both in itself and as a hint for the further development of relations.

How to Wake Up: When a girl is turned on, try the “hook and pull” technique on the O and G points at the same time. Fold the brushes back to each other so that one palm looks up and the other down. Then stick both index fingers into the vagina, so you can stimulate both the anterior and posterior walls of the vagina. They say it will end with an orgasm pretty quickly. A simpler option: rhythmically press the point O, as if stroking it.

Cervix

Sensitive in 7.5 percent of women

How to Find: With deep penetration, you can reach her cervix with your penis. “It feels like you’re hitting the cartilaginous tip of your nose,” sexologist Lisa Masterson from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center (Los Angeles) is not very romantic, but extremely specific. In most women, the cervix is ​​at a depth of 8.9-11.4 centimeters, but this lady is not yet excited. Keep in mind: when blood rushes to the genitals, the cervix moves even deeper into the body. But you can still reach it.

How to wake up: follow your friend’s monthly cycle: around the ovulation area (usually 13-16 days after the start of the last menstruation), stimulation of the cervix can be especially pleasant. Move around this area with one or two fingers, and when you touch the neck itself, gently and gently apply pressure. If your fingers are not long enough, you can use a vibrator with a wide head.

Pelvic floor muscles

12 percent of women use them to orgasm

How to find: Of course, you won’t be able to touch them, but you have seen them at work more than once: the convulsions in which a woman who has received pleasure beats are provided precisely by the contraction of these muscles. Note: A 2014 Brazilian study found that young women with strong pelvic floor muscles were more likely to reach orgasm. Why? If these muscles are in good shape, they can contract during sex without getting tired, pushing her to discharge. Help your girl train invisible muscles.

How to wake up: your partner probably already knows the most effective way – Kegel exercises. Diversify them. Buy a set of vaginal balls, these will be your exercise machines. Lubricate one, place it inside the partner’s vagina and see if she can keep the ball inside with the force of her muscles. Then add a second one. The balls not only excite but also strengthen her muscles and stimulate the G-spot.0003

How to make sex more enjoyable: try these 5 ideas

How to bring a girl to orgasm

18+

Sex blogger Arina Vintovkina decided to figure out what is the cause of this problem and how to overcome it.

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Orgasm

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The female orgasm is shy, like a canary, and painfully rarely visits us when we are in male company.

Content of article

“According to statistics, only 29 percent of women have an orgasm every time they have sex with their regular partner,” sexologist Valeria Aginskaya shares secret information. As for me, this fact alone is enough not to be too lazy to at least read this article to the end.

And it’s better, of course, to delve into and make sure that your partner joins the happy, guaranteed orgasmic 29 percent.

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You are too quick

I suspect that you men have already been buzzing about the need for foreplay, and also about the fact that women do not really like “quick shooters”. But knowing your masculine craving for precise wording, perhaps this all sounds somehow … too vague. Well, get specific. “It takes an average of four minutes for a man to reach an orgasm during intimacy, from the first kiss to ejaculation,” comments Valeria Aginskaya, “women need 10–25 minutes.”

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In short, men, you just make yourself a notch: it’s almost never 10 minutes for everything about everything (undress, feel each other, dock organs that are customary to wear in shorts, and exercise a little). Therefore, you should not reduce everything over and over again to a sprint hookup before bed. In this situation, how to give a drink, only one member of the crew remains satisfied – you.

Want some advice? To be sure that you are following the correct timing that your partner will suit, multiply your own timing by five. Is three minutes of foreplay enough for your own eyes? Provide the girl with a 15-minute session of kisses and tenderness. If necessary, look at the clock in the process. It’s better than jumping into the saddle after 120 seconds of polishing the clitoris, and after another 120 seconds doing a light “Ouuuu”. That is why it is so important and necessary to expand the range and geography of caresses – in order to be able to “stretch” the foreplay a little longer, working out, in addition to the obligatory program “lips, breasts, clitoris”, also “arbitrary”, i.e. surrounding with care and attention other parts of the female body.

Positions in which women most often achieve orgasm:

28% Cowgirl

20% Missionary with legs raised

18% Missionary regular

900 02 16% Man behind

13 % “Missionary officer” – her legs on his shoulders

6% “Reverse rider”

Source: The Archives of Sexual Behavior magazine

The general inhibition of women in the issue of getting orgasms experts explain by the fact that girls, in principle, in life receive less than what is called “stimulus material” in the jargon of sexologists.

Unlike you guys, we think less about sex, masturbate less at work, watch porn less, and carry fewer outrageous pornographic scripts inside our beautiful heads. They say that this is somehow connected with the fact that we, girls, almost do not see our genitals – unlike men, who, during each trip to the toilet, have the good fortune to see their penis, which includes the corresponding associative series.

In short, we go through life knowing of course that sex exists. But it does not permeate our entire existence, thoughts and aspirations. “A relatively healthy and not old man is able to experience a rush of blood to the cavernous tissues just by looking at the tight ass of the waitress. For you, this is the norm. Situations when a girl’s panties get wet when looking at a stranger are rather an exception, ”Valeria notes.

You are able to go from something mundane like washing dishes straight to having sex and you can definitely finish. We women usually don’t. Well, more precisely, we can go. But everything that happens in bed, in terms of the degree of excitement, will most likely resemble a tram ride at rush hour: crowded, hot, shaking. We have little mechanical stimulation. We need a mood for sex. Therefore, if you want your partner to finish, there should be at least some temporary backlash between the “dishes” station and the “sex” station, when the girl thinks about sex at least for a moment and the lights on her “remote control” come to life and start blinking slightly . And the simplest and most correct thing in this case is to say: “Baby, I’ll sort out the dishes myself somehow. And by the way, a bubble bath and a glass of lambrusco are waiting for you.” By the way, there were cases when a girl who was not spoiled by a good attitude experienced an orgasm from this one phrase.

What else can help the case? Well, for example, joint viewing of porn or some more light erotic movie masterpieces. Exchange playful messages or spicy pics throughout the day. Discussing erotic fantasies – although any conversations that are allowed in your couple on sexual and near-sexual topics will do. In other words, it is necessary and important that this part of your life together become more convex, voluminous and not be reduced to silent swarming under the covers. Then, mark my word, things will immediately go smoothly.

Foreplay that effectively brings her to climax:

31% Breast caress

27% Finger clitoris stimulation

24% Oral genital stimulation

22% Stimulation of the entire vagina area with fingers

20% She caresses her own clitoris

11% “Dirty” talk

Source: The Archives of Sexual Behavior

You stimulate the clitoris incorrectly

In principle, we modern women should not complain. I recently came across an interesting article that talked about how long we were basically denied the existence of … the clitoris. How he was given all sorts of offensive nicknames and attributed strange functions. How it was considered fiction, pathology and a reason to burn a woman at the stake. Think and shudder: 19In 69, a man landed on the moon, in 1982 the Internet was invented, and only in 1998 did scientists figure out how the clitoris works!

So, according to the latest intelligence, that tiny bump is just the tip of the iceberg. “The clitoris has an inner part that wraps around the entire groin area and is comparable in size to the size of an average penis,” reports our sexologist. And the “legs” of the clitoris require the same, or even more attention than the tubercle itself. But I won’t digress.

Here is the main thing you need to know about the clitoral legs (besides the fact that they exist): it is, in fact, the same cavernous body, which, like the penis, is responsive to stimulation and fills with blood (and the better the blood supply, the inevitable orgasm). The legs of the clitoris “hug” the entrance to the vagina. And you can stimulate them if you massage, knead, lick and bite your partner’s labia, perineum and all surrounding areas.

Can the old fashioned way be limited to stimulation of only the visible part of the clitoris? Can. But don’t. Because the effect of rubbing the “bump” is about the same as if you were being procrastinated at the very tip of the head of the penis, but the penis itself was not touched. Would you cum from such a micro-impact?

Sleeping vagina

You have probably heard that the female vagina is equipped with a mass of sensitive points. In addition to the legendary G-spot, there is the A-spot (on the cervix; responsible for uterine orgasms), the U-spot (the urethral zone; plays the first fiddle in jet orgasms), and so on. There are really many places of pleasure. Only sense from them is zero if they are, in the terminology of sexologists, “unawakened.” “Of course, there is a chance that they will wake up by themselves: with age, after childbirth, in the process of active copulation,” notes Valeria, “but this chance, frankly, is small.” Therefore, most women walk around with a “sleeping” (moreover, lethargic sleep) vagina, and blow off the clitoris for everyone (which, as mentioned in the paragraph earlier, is not always correctly exploited). Not surprisingly, the rate of orgasms per capita of the female population is negligible.

The joke is that for a “wake-up” it is not at all enough to “feel” that very point once a month and rub it a little (which is also not always possible, since in a sleepy state the same G-spot is often weakly palpated). It would not be an exaggeration to say that this is generally a separate serious project. On average, in order for the “sleeping” point to wake up, it will take 7-10 days (!) of daily (!!!) exercises. And you will need not only time, strength, patience, but also, possibly, a vibrator.

Some men in principle do not know that the vagina needs to be “awakened”. Others are lazy. Others think that somehow she will wake up. Women could scribble orgasms, figuratively speaking, on powerful computers, and end up grinding them out on typewriters

Take, for example, the G-spot. You “accelerate” your partner in the usual way (i.e., clitoral stimulation), while simultaneously connecting the stimulation of the G zone with a vibrator of a suitable configuration. On the approaches to orgasm, you treacherously remove your finger from the clitoris so that the girl does not “roll out into an orgasm” by inertia. Give the subject a little (five seconds) to catch his breath and start the same rigmarole again (clitoris + G). And so three times in a session. Then you can let her finish.

In the following days of training, you try to remove your finger from her clitoris earlier and earlier, paying constant attention to the G-spot. “Your task is to “switch” orgasm from a developed and familiar area (clitoris) to a new zone (G-spot). And this happens due to the fact that, without receiving the desired discharge several times in a row, the woman’s brain begins to pay attention to alternative sources of pleasure, gradually “switching” to them, Valeria explains the essence of the procedure. – Keep in mind that it is wiser to plan a wake-up call for the period of a girl’s ovulation as the most orgasmic (from the 10th to the 14th day of the cycle; we count from the first day of menstruation).

What she feels at the moment of orgasm:

81% Complete loss of herself

78% Like a river is taking you away, swaying on waves

70% Exultation in the whole body

62% Out of breath

55% Feeling that I really want to write

43% Feeling of ejaculation

Source: The Archives of Sexual Behavior magazine

Ignorance of my own anatomy

I will now tell you a terrible secret: in of female anatomy, not only men, but and the women themselves. Theoretically, a curious and not lazy girl could independently explore and awaken her own sensitive areas. But these are really few. The vast majority have a fairly superficial idea even of what their personal vagina looks like!

A woman can live to an advanced age of 35, give birth to three children and change four husbands, but never once try to satisfy herself in a well-lit room and in front of a mirror in order to see in detail herself “there” and the metamorphoses that occur with her body in moment of orgasm.