Is it safe to have sex during your period. What are the risks of infection during menstrual intercourse. Can you get pregnant from period sex. How does menstruation affect lubrication and pain relief during intimacy.

Understanding the Safety of Sexual Activity During Menstruation

Many women wonder about the safety of engaging in sexual activity during their menstrual cycle. The good news is that having sex during your period is generally safe and can even offer some benefits. However, it’s crucial to understand the potential risks and take necessary precautions.

Dr. Carrie Coleman, an ob-gyn at Massachusetts General Hospital, emphasizes that sex is a normal part of life and should be enjoyed by all women. She advises that with proper contraception and STI prevention, period sex can be both safe and enjoyable.

Benefits of Period Sex

• Reduced need for lubrication
• Potential relief from menstrual cramps
• Possible reduction in migraine and cluster headache pain
• Release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin and dopamine

Infection Risks Associated with Period Sex

While sex during menstruation can be safe, it’s important to be aware of potential infection risks. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) warns that you can still contract or transmit sexually transmitted infections (STIs) during your period.

Dr. Lauren Streicher, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology, explains that there are two main reasons for this increased risk:

1. Any bodily fluid, including menstrual blood, can carry HIV or other STIs.
2. The cervix opens slightly during menstruation, potentially allowing viruses to pass through more easily.

To minimize these risks, it’s strongly recommended to use protection, such as condoms, during period sex.

Increased Susceptibility to Yeast Infections

During menstruation, the vaginal pH level rises due to the higher pH of blood. This change creates an environment where yeast can grow more rapidly, potentially increasing the risk of yeast infections.

Are yeast infections more common during period sex? While clear evidence is lacking, symptoms of vaginal yeast infections are more likely to occur in the week before menstruation, and intercourse during this time may exacerbate these symptoms.

The Risk of Pregnancy During Menstrual Sex

Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to get pregnant from having sex during your period. This is especially true for women with shorter menstrual cycles (21 to 24 days) who engage in sexual activity towards the end of their period.

Why is pregnancy possible during menstruation? Sperm can survive in the vagina for up to five days. If ovulation occurs shortly after your period ends, there’s a chance that live sperm could still be present, leading to fertilization.

To prevent unintended pregnancy, it’s crucial to continue using birth control methods even during your period.

Lubrication and Period Sex: What You Need to Know

One of the advantages of period sex is the reduced need for artificial lubrication. Menstrual discharge typically provides sufficient lubrication for comfortable intercourse.

However, if additional lubrication is needed, Dr. James Simon, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology, recommends using water-based lubricants. These are safe for both sex and condoms.

Types of Lubricants and Their Compatibility

• Water-based lubricants: Safe for sex and condoms
• Silicone and hybrid lubricants: Safe for sex and condoms
• Oil-based lubricants: Not recommended with latex condoms as they can increase the risk of condom breakage

Period Sex as a Natural Pain Reliever

For some women, engaging in sexual activity during menstruation can provide relief from period-related symptoms such as cramps, feelings of sadness, or depression.

How does sex help with period pain? Dr. Streicher explains that orgasms release endorphins, which are feel-good hormones like oxytocin and dopamine. These hormones may help alleviate some period symptoms, although specific research on this topic is limited.

A study published in Cephalalgia found that sexual activity, regardless of menstruation, may reduce migraine and cluster headache pain for some individuals.

Period Sex and Endometriosis

Women with endometriosis may experience a different reaction to period sex. They often face increased pain and other symptoms during menstruation, as well as pain associated with sexual activity or orgasm.

If you have endometriosis, it’s essential to communicate with your partner and healthcare provider about any discomfort or pain you experience during sex, especially during your period.

Hygiene and Comfort During Period Sex

While period sex can be enjoyable, some couples may have concerns about messiness or hygiene. Here are some tips to make the experience more comfortable:

• Use dark-colored towels or sheets to prevent staining
• Consider having sex in the shower or bath for easy cleanup
• Try using a menstrual cup or diaphragm to reduce blood flow during intercourse
• Communicate openly with your partner about comfort levels and boundaries

Remember, everyone’s comfort level with period sex is different. It’s essential to respect your partner’s feelings and preferences.

Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Period Sex

The decision to have sex during menstruation isn’t just physical – it also involves emotional and psychological factors. Some women may feel self-conscious or uncomfortable about period sex, while others may find it liberating or even more pleasurable than sex at other times of the month.

How can couples navigate the emotional aspects of period sex? Open communication is key. Discuss your feelings, concerns, and desires with your partner. Remember that there’s no right or wrong decision – it’s all about what feels comfortable and enjoyable for both parties.

Cultural and Religious Considerations

It’s important to note that some cultures and religions have specific views or restrictions regarding sexual activity during menstruation. These beliefs should be respected, and individuals should make decisions that align with their personal values and beliefs.

Alternative Intimate Activities During Menstruation

For those who prefer not to engage in penetrative sex during menstruation, there are several alternative ways to maintain intimacy:

• Mutual masturbation
• Oral sex (with proper hygiene precautions)
• Sensual massage
• Cuddling and kissing
• Exploring erogenous zones other than the genitals

These activities can help maintain physical and emotional closeness without the concerns some may have about period sex.

What are some safe ways to be intimate during menstruation? Engaging in non-penetrative activities like mutual masturbation, sensual massage, or focusing on other erogenous zones can provide intimacy and pleasure while avoiding potential messiness or discomfort associated with period sex.

Hormonal Changes and Libido During Menstruation

Hormonal fluctuations throughout the menstrual cycle can affect a woman’s libido. Some women may experience increased sexual desire during their period, while others may feel less interested in sexual activity.

Why do some women feel more aroused during their period? This can be attributed to several factors:

1. Increased blood flow to the pelvic area, which can enhance sensitivity
2. Relief from the fear of pregnancy (although pregnancy is still possible)
3. Hormonal changes that may boost libido in some women

It’s important to remember that every woman’s experience is unique, and there’s no “normal” level of desire during menstruation.

Tracking Your Cycle and Sexual Desire

Keeping track of your menstrual cycle and noting changes in your libido can help you better understand your body and sexual needs. This information can be valuable for both personal awareness and conversations with healthcare providers.

The Role of Birth Control in Period Sex

Different forms of birth control can affect both your menstrual cycle and the experience of period sex. Some hormonal contraceptives, like certain types of birth control pills or intrauterine devices (IUDs), may lead to lighter periods or even eliminate menstruation altogether.

How does birth control impact period sex? Depending on the method used, birth control can:

• Reduce menstrual flow, potentially making period sex less messy
• Alleviate period symptoms like cramps, which may make sex more comfortable
• Provide additional pregnancy protection during period sex

It’s essential to discuss your birth control options and their potential effects on your menstrual cycle with your healthcare provider.

Communicating with Your Partner About Period Sex

Open and honest communication is crucial when it comes to period sex. Both partners should feel comfortable expressing their desires, concerns, and boundaries.

How can you start a conversation about period sex with your partner? Here are some tips:

1. Choose a relaxed, private setting for the discussion
2. Be honest about your feelings and listen to your partner’s perspective
3. Discuss any concerns or hesitations openly
4. Share information about the safety and potential benefits of period sex
5. Respect each other’s decisions and boundaries

Remember, it’s okay if you and your partner have different comfort levels with period sex. The goal is to find a mutually satisfying approach to intimacy throughout the menstrual cycle.

Debunking Myths About Period Sex

There are many misconceptions surrounding period sex that can lead to unnecessary fear or avoidance. Let’s address some common myths:

Myth 1: You can’t get pregnant during your period

As discussed earlier, while the chances are lower, it is still possible to conceive during menstruation, especially for women with shorter cycles.

Myth 2: Period sex is unhygienic

Menstrual blood is a natural bodily fluid and is not inherently dirty or unhygienic. However, as with any sexual activity, proper hygiene practices should be observed.

Myth 3: Having sex during your period will make it end faster

While orgasms can cause the uterus to contract, potentially expelling menstrual blood more quickly, this doesn’t actually shorten the duration of your period.

Myth 4: You can’t use tampons or menstrual cups during period sex

While it’s true that tampons should be removed before penetrative sex, menstrual cups or diaphragms can be used during intercourse to reduce mess.

By understanding the facts about period sex, couples can make informed decisions about their sexual activities throughout the menstrual cycle.

When to Consult a Healthcare Provider

While period sex is generally safe, there are situations where it’s advisable to consult a healthcare provider:

• If you experience severe pain during or after period sex
• If you notice unusual bleeding or discharge
• If you have concerns about STIs or unexpected pregnancy
• If you have a condition like endometriosis that may be exacerbated by sexual activity

Your healthcare provider can offer personalized advice and address any concerns you may have about sexual activity during menstruation.

Regular Check-ups and Sexual Health

Regardless of your choices regarding period sex, it’s important to maintain regular check-ups with your gynecologist or healthcare provider. These visits provide an opportunity to discuss any changes in your menstrual cycle, sexual health concerns, and contraceptive needs.

How often should you have a gynecological check-up? The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends annual well-woman visits for most women, with more frequent visits if you have specific health concerns or are planning a pregnancy.

Embracing Your Sexual Health Throughout Your Cycle

Understanding and embracing your sexual health throughout your menstrual cycle is an important aspect of overall well-being. Whether you choose to engage in period sex or not, being informed about your body and its changes can lead to a more satisfying and healthy sex life.

Remember that every woman’s experience with menstruation and sexuality is unique. What works for one person may not work for another. The key is to listen to your body, communicate openly with your partner, and make choices that align with your personal comfort and values.

By dispelling myths, understanding the facts, and maintaining open communication, you can navigate the complexities of period sex and enjoy a fulfilling sex life throughout your menstrual cycle.

Is It Safe to Have Sex During Your Period?

Here’s everything you need to know about sexual intimacy during that time of the month, from infection risk to birth control.

By Amy KraftMedically Reviewed by Justin Laube, MD

Reviewed: December 13, 2022

Medically Reviewed

Here’s what you need to know about having sex during that time of the month.Getty Images

Just because you’re having your period doesn’t mean you have to forego sexual activity. For some women, sex during menstruation can be even more pleasurable than at other times of the month.

The need for lubrication lessens during your period, and having an orgasm can soothe period-related symptoms, such as cramps. Plus, a study published in Cephalalgia concluded that sexual activity (whether you’re on your period or not) may reduce migraine and cluster headache pain for some.

“Sex is a normal part of life and should be enjoyed by all women,” says Carrie Coleman, MD, an ob-gyn at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. “Basically, ensuring you have good contraception and sexually transmitted infection (STI) prevention throughout the menstrual cycle should make it even more safe and enjoyable.”

But before having sex, make sure you understand the risks of STIs, other infections, and pregnancy — even during your period.

Here’s what you need to know about having safe period sex.

Infection Risk From Sex During Your Period

It’s crucial to practice safe sex while you’re having your period because you could still get or transmit an STI, like HIV, during this time, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The virus and other pathogens may be present in menstrual blood. Therefore, doctors strongly encourage using a condom to decrease this risk.

Lauren Streicher, MD, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, says that anecdotally speaking, there are two reasons for this risk. “Any bodily fluid can carry HIV or [other] STIs, and [during your period], the cervix opens slightly, which might allow viruses to pass through,” she says. “My message to women is you’re not off the hook as far as using protection.”

You may also be more prone to some infections in general at this time. Your vagina maintains a pH level of 3.8 to 4.5 throughout the month, according to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). But during menstruation, that level rises because of the higher pH level of blood, and yeast is able to grow more rapidly.

Symptoms of a vaginal yeast infection are more likely to occur the week before your menstrual period, and intercourse during this time can exacerbate symptoms. But clear evidence is lacking for any increased risk of getting a yeast infection if you have sex during your period.

There’s also the dreaded UTI. “Some women can be more prone to having urinary tract infections after intercourse,” says Dr. Coleman. “This is most likely related to bacteria being able to easily travel to the bladder with intercourse, but it may happen at any point during the menstrual cycle. ”

Risk of Pregnancy During Your Period

Yes, you can get pregnant when you have period sex, especially if you have a shorter menstrual cycle (21 to 24 days) and you have have sex toward the end of your period. Sperm can remain viable in your vagina for up to five days, so pregnancy is possible, and it’s important to continue to use birth control.

Less Need for Vaginal Lubrication

You’re less likely to need lubricants if you engage in intercourse during menstruation, because menstrual discharge tends to provide enough lubrication. If you do need a lubricant, then “water-based lubricants are widely available and safe both for sex and for condoms,” says ob-gyn James Simon, MD, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the George Washington University School of Medicine in Washington, DC. “Silicone and hybrid lubricants that are water-based and silicone-based are likewise safe for both sex and condoms. Oil-based lubricants, especially mineral oil-based lubricants, can deteriorate condoms — increasing the risk of breakage — and are not recommended with latex condoms,” he says.

Period Sex as a Pain Reliever

If you experience symptoms such as cramping, feelings of sadness, or depression during your period, having sex at this time may be beneficial. Dr. Streicher says that because orgasms release endorphins — feel-good hormones like oxytocin and dopamine — in theory, la petite morte could also decrease some period symptoms, although there hasn’t been any specific research supporting this. Still, “there’s no harm in trying,” she says.

Women who have endometriosis, on the other hand, may experience more pain and other symptoms when they have their period, as well as pain that occurs with sexual activity or orgasm. However, treatments are available, and sex doesn’t have to hurt. Talk to your doctor as soon as possible; the earlier you speak up, the sooner you can feel better and enjoy sex again.

Sexual Arousal During Your Period

You may feel more sexually aroused and sensitive during this time of the month because of the changes in your hormone levels. Some women experience an increased feeling of congestion in the pelvic area, which can also ramp up your sex drive. But for some women, this extra sensitivity may make it uncomfortable to have sex during your period. (If you don’t like having sex when you have your period, there are birth control options that can make your period shorter, lighter, or less frequent, or even eliminate your period altogether.)

Remember that there’s nothing shameful or dirty about having your period — it’s totally natural, and there’s nothing wrong with having period sex. The bottom line is to make sure that both you and your partner are comfortable with the situation. “Don’t assume anything,” Dr. Simon says. “Open questions with honest answers beforehand are paramount.”

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16 Sexual Positions for Better Sex

There are many different types of sex positions that bring mutual satisfaction, but the best positions are the ones that both you and your partner can enjoy. Have you tried these 16?

By Andrea AtkinsMedically Reviewed by Kara Leigh Smythe, MD

Reviewed: February 8, 2022

Medically Reviewed

Trying new positions in bed can intensify stimulation and help you reach orgasm. Getty Images

As the Kama Sutra — that ancient Indian book on sexuality — shows us, sexual activity is a pursuit of infinite variety. There are hundreds of hot sex positions for couples that bring male and female bodies together for mutual pleasure. If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, knowing a variety of sex positions can help you be a better and more inventive lover for your partner.

What Are the Best Ways To Have Mutually Satisfying Sex?

That answer is different for every couple. “I would define the best position as the position that works best for the individual or individuals involved,” says Tameca Harris-Jackson, PhD, LCSW, a certified sex educator, sex therapist, and founder of Hope and Serenity Health Services, a counseling center in Altamont Springs, Florida. “Trying different sex positions actually offers an opportunity to bring different ways of experiencing pleasure into sexual intimacy and a sexual relationship,” Harris-Jackson says. “You can eat the same meal every day for 20 years but it doesn’t mean you’re going to get the most joy out of it. You’re just getting the nutrients. But if you try to add a little bit of parsley to that meal, you might taste it in a different way and it might become a more exciting meal. And that’s what having new positions in a relationship can do.”

There are nonphysical factors to consider, too. Take intimacy, for example. For many people, especially women, intimacy can lead to better sexual experiences because partners are comfortable and trusting enough to ask for what they desire and to try new things.

Many couples are figuring out exactly those benefits, according to research funded by the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana that examined sex during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020.

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An online survey of 1,559 adults showed that while people had less frequent sex during the first weeks of the pandemic, they were more willing to try new things — which included sexting, sharing sexual fantasies, and experimenting with new sex positions. A commentary about the results was published in the June 2020 issue of the journal Leisure Sciences.

Why It’s Important to Try New Sexual Positions

“We know that this has been a really stressful period of time and that can make it hard to get aroused and stay aroused,” says study coauthor Justin L. Lehmiller, PhD, research fellow at the Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, Indiana, and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast. “Trying something new can amp up your arousal. Trying new things is about self-discovery — what works for your body, your relationship, and that’s going to have lifelong benefits. ”

You don’t have to be a gymnast to make these moves pay off. Don’t think “crazy sex positions,” rather, think new sex positions to create more heat between the sheets.

“Not every position is for everyone and that’s okay,” says Dr. Lehmiller. “But even if the positions described here don’t work for you (maybe you’ve already tried them), that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try new and different things. Novelty is one of the things that keeps us interested in coming back for more. When sex is the same every time, we tend to lose interest. New positions are a handy way of adding an element of novelty and newness to our sex lives.”

1. The Missionary Position or Face to Face

Potential Benefits or Caveats Intimate but not necessarily mutually satisfying

Details It’s a simple sex position: The woman lies on her back with her legs spread and her knees bent slightly. The man lies between her legs and guides his penis into her vagina, supporting his body weight with his arms or elbows.

The problem with this sexual position is that the missionary position is not as good at delivering pleasure to women. The man’s pelvis can sometimes stimulate the clitoris in this position, and it offers great intimacy through face-to-face contact. But the angle of the penis does not allow for deep penetration or stimulation of the G-spot (felt through a location on the front wall of the vagina, and believed by some experts to be a stimulus for orgasm in women). Some women also complain that this sex position doesn’t provide enough clitoral stimulation to experience climax.

One study, published in August 2020 in Sexual Medicine by researchers in the Czech Republic, surveyed 1,100 people about 13 different sex positions and revealed that most people still choose missionary position even though it does not correlate with orgasm for women.

Close the Orgasm Gap Between Men and Women With a Variety of Intercourse Positions

If the most used sex position is not offering women consistent orgasms, then one important thing to do to “close the orgasm gap” might be to try a new sex position, says Lehmiller. In other words, don’t limit yourself to the missionary position.

“In most cultures, it is not the most used position,” says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, a certified sexuality educator and professor emerita at Rutgers University in New Jersey.

The Best Mutually Beneficial Ways to Have Sizzling, Satisfying Sex 

If you are looking to spice up your sexual experience and enjoy better sex, try some of these female-friendly positions. Many afford partners the chance for clitoral stimulation, which, according to a study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy in February 2018, is what 36.6 percent of women said they needed during sexual intercourse in order to reach orgasm. Another 36 percent said while they might reach orgasm through intercourse alone, clitoral stimulation with intercourse made their orgasms feel better.

2. Woman on Top or Cowgirl

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Penetration depth and sensations vary; clitoral stimulation

Details In this sex position, the man lies on his back, and the woman faces him and kneels, straddling his pelvis and guiding his penis into her vagina. She can then sit up or lie down on him.

“This is a great position for a woman to control the depth of penetration,” Dr. Harris-Jackson says. When the woman is on top, she can control how much of the penis she wants. “It’s also a good position to get multiple forms of stimulation. With the woman’s body upright, the nipples can be engaged, which can lead to extra arousal. It is good for having access to the clitoris for stimulation.”

The woman can also choose whether to bounce up and down, grind, or make hip circles — each delivering a slightly different sensation. Says Harris-Jackson: “This is also a good position for a person with a penis if they have back issues because it’s almost a resting position for them.” Men who are very responsive to visual stimuli, can lie back and watch the female partner.

3. Reverse Cowgirl or Reverse Rider on Top

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Buttocks play, visual stimulations, opportunities for variations; may cause pain

Details The man lies on his back on the bed while the woman sits astride him, facing her partner’s feet, and slips the penis into her vagina. The woman can control the rhythm and pace of the thrusts. This position can be especially exciting for the penetrating partner, who gets to observe the back and buttocks of his partner. Squeezing or grabbing the buttocks can enhance the experience for both. This position can be tricky to master since it requires the woman to lean back or sit up very straight to accommodate the angle of the penis. “If you’re leaning forward, it can be painful and uncomfortable for the man because it could almost feel like his penis is breaking,” says Harris-Jackson, who recommends having your partner bend his knees and then bracing yourself with your hands against his thighs or putting your hands behind you on his waist or on pillows on either side of him.

Switch It Up “This may be one of those positions that is better in theory than in practice,” says Lorrae Jo Bradbury, sex and love coach, founder of SluttyGirlProblems.com and LorraeJo.com. “You might want to use it as a foreplay position, grinding on his penis before you begin intercourse. ”

4. Doggy Style or Rear Entry

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration, G-spot stimulation, but position can feel impersonal

Details In this position, the woman kneels on all fours, supporting herself with her hands and knees. The man crouches behind her and enters her vagina from behind. This is the best sex position for deep penetration of the vagina. It gives the man freedom to thrust his pelvis hard and fast, and allows him to caress much of the woman’s body. The position also allows for good G-spot stimulation.

Switch It Up Some women complain that this sex position is too impersonal because there’s no face-to-face contact. “If you want closer eye contact with this position,” says Bradbury, move your knees closer to your chest and arch your back so your partner can lean into you near your face and you can make eye contact. Bradbury says you can also try this position in front of a mirror so you can see one another’s faces.

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Note: The research published in the August 2020 Sexual Medicine study looked at 13 different sex positions and found that doggy style is not usually associated with female orgasms. If it doesn’t work for you or your partner, keep experimenting.

5. The Corkscrew

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Intense, deep penetration

Details Leaning forward, the woman lies on edge of bed, resting on the hip and forearm while her partner enters her vagina from behind. The woman can keep her thighs together for a tighter hold on the penis. But if she opens her legs, the clitoris is exposed for stroking while man thrusts from behind. “You’re getting that deeper penetration like doggy style, but this may be an easier and more comfortable position,” says Bradbury.

Switch It Up Your partner can easily lean down to make out with you and the clitoris is in easy reach, according to Bradbury.

6. Side by Side or Sideways

Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep eye contact and intimacy

Details The man and woman lie on their sides, facing each other. The woman lifts her top leg so the man can insert his penis. She can then wrap the leg around his waist or across his leg. This position is great for morning sex when you might be a little sleepy, says Bradbury.

It offers a lot of intimacy because you are close to your partner’s face. The partners can kiss and caress each other during lovemaking. The sex position is relaxing, doesn’t require a lot of stamina from either person, and offers an opportunity for good clitoral stimulation.

Switch It Up Penetration can be improved if the woman drapes both her legs over her partner’s waist, Bradbury says. This allows great access to the clitoris, which can be stimulated with a finger or with a toy. “I think this is a great position for everyone. It offers the comfort of cuddling, too.”

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7. Flat Iron or Lazy Dog

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Tightness on penetration, intense stimulation

Details The woman lies face down on the bed with legs straight and hips slightly raised. (You can place a pillow under your hips.) Her partner enters her vagina from behind. When on her stomach, the woman’s legs will be closer together, which in turn creates a snugger fit for her partner’s penis. This can lead to a new, more intense sensation. “This is a really good way to increase the experience of tightness for the penetrating partner,” Harris-Jackson says. “It’s also good for clitoral stimulation because the partner can reach around with his hand or a sex toy to provide dual stimulation. And, it’s a good position for G-spot stimulation because you’re angling the body so that the penis is in perfect alignment to stroke against the G-spot. ”

8. Face-Off

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats With intense eye contact and clitoral stimulation, this can be an enhanced missionary position

Details In this position, the man sits on edge of bed, or in a comfortable seated position, while the woman climbs onto his lap, face to face, wrapping her legs behind him. The woman can control the pace of thrusting. This position also allows for direct clitoral stimulation and eye contact, which can increase intimacy.

Bonus: Your hands are free and you can touch and caress your partner’s body nearly anywhere you would like. “This is a really impactful position for people who are aroused with eye contact,” says Harris-Jackson. “It’s like missionary, but you are really face to face. It also takes some of the work off the person with the vagina because her partner can move her up and down by placing his hands on her hips.

RELATED: Sex Drive and What Your Libido Says About Your Health

Switch It Up The Lotus position is very similar to face-off, only the partner with the penis sits crossed-legged on the bed or chair.

9. Pretzel Dip

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration with potential for G-spot stimulation

Details The woman lies on her right side as the man straddles her right leg. The man then pulls his partner’s left leg up and around his left side and enters vagina. This position allows deep penetration while also allowing the intimacy of maintaining eye contact.

Switch it Up “You can also take your left leg and pull it toward your chest to get a deeper angle,” says Bradbury. “And you have amazing access to the clitoris for both partners.” Your hands will be free, which can allow you to run them all over each other’s body. Adds Harris-Jackson: “This position — depending on your angle — can also offer G-spot stimulation as well.”

10. CAT or the Coital Alignment Technique

Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Clitoral stimulation

Details If you want to rock rather than thrust, roll with CAT. This position is similar to missionary; the main difference is that the man pushes the base of his penis so that it lines up with the clitoris and the two body parts make contact. Once they do, the couple rock back and forth and maintain constant contact. “It’s a little bit different way of having sex,” says Lehmiller. “You rock back and forth rather than thrusting. Doing so prolongs the length of intercourse for the man and increases the odds of a woman having an orgasm because she’s having that constant stimulation.”

Keep Switching It Up: Sexual Variety Is Exciting

In our day-to-day lives, we tend to be very goal-oriented, says Harris-Jackson. “We wake up in the morning and it’s go, go, go to get out the door; we go, go, go to eat our food, to go to work. It creates a lot of stress and tension in our bodies and in our minds. Many patients that I see feel that sex becomes one more thing that they have to go, go, go and do. But sexual partners should be really with one another and feel pleasure together. Switching up positions can be very helpful to rekindle that connection. So, it can be helpful and fun to try something new.”

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symptoms, causes, diagnosis, treatment and prevention

Psychotherapist

Genvarskaya

Diana Igorevna

Experience 18 years

Sexologist, psychotherapist. Candidate of Medical Sciences. He sees English-speaking patients.

Make an appointment

Frigidity is a decrease in libido, a complete lack of interest in sex. Excitation does not occur even in frank moments. Some people experience pain after or during intercourse. An integrated approach and consultation of several specialists is required. Consider how to cure frigidity, and what to do with female frigidity.

Symptoms and signs of frigidity

Symptoms of frigidity may not be noticeable to the patient, but are always felt by the partner:

• attraction either disappears completely or manifests itself in rare moments;
• sexual intercourse is perceived as a duty, and any discussion of the topic causes irritation;
• a person simply ceases to be interested in sex, even if a loved one is next to him;
• if sex does occur, the body does not react to the process. Excitation disappears, lubrication is not released, there are also no emotions, as a result, there is no orgasm;
• before and after sex, pain in the genitals, anus may occur;
• after the process, there is a feeling of disappointment or irritation.

Many do not understand what frigidity means, trying to justify themselves with other reasons. However, the disease can be really dangerous if you do not pay attention to it in time.

Causes of development

Causes of frigidity in women and men are divided into 2 categories: psychological and physiological.

Among the psychological reasons are:

• prolonged stress and overwork bring rest and sleep to the fore, and not sexual pleasures, this is a normal reaction of the body, which tries to protect a person from even greater overload;
• sexual abuse, even if it happened many years ago, is a significant reason for a psychological barrier, especially if the negative experience was the first in life, in such a situation one cannot do without the help of a psychologist;
• the partner began to cause negative emotions or disgust, during quarrels, problems, partings, spiritual wounds remain that do not allow turning to the person again, sex in this is violence against oneself;
• fear of unplanned pregnancy, if the fear is obsessive, the girl cannot relax;
• in families where frigid personalities grow up, it is not customary to express emotions, coldness and detachment are encouraged.

Among physiological:

• traumatized genitals cause damage to nerve endings;
• after childbirth, the walls of the vagina are severely injured, which is also a common cause of lack of desire;
• pathologies in the development of organs are less common.

Risk factors

What to do if you do not want further complications of frigidity, what to do? In order for a person to fully open up, not only sexually, a healthy environment in relationships, in the family and good health is necessary. Unfortunately, these factors do not always add up.

• If the partner was imprudent to ridicule the other or regularly insults him, this provokes the development of complexes and closeness. Which may well lead to frigidity in women.
• Also, if a partner forces the other to have sex with him by force, the other develops disgust at the mere thought of sexual intercourse.
• Chronic diseases that provoke disturbances in the endocrine system can cause frigidity.

Complications

Lack of sexual life and fear of a partner, sex can lead to depression. A person is in a depressed state completely at the mercy of his own illness. The absence of a partner leads to loneliness if the problem is not identified in time. It also negatively affects the human psyche.

Hormonal imbalance, which often accompanies the disease, can lead to:

• infertility;
• uterine myoma;
• the formation of a malignant tumor;
• polycystic ovaries.

One should not take one’s health lightly, even if there is no need for a sexual partner. Problems associated with frigidity in women can seriously spoil life.

When to see a doctor

Sexologist treats frigidity. It helps to identify the root cause. In the future, the patient may be referred to a psychologist or gynecologist, depending on the identified problem.

Specialists of JSC “Medicina” (clinic of Academician Roitberg) are highly qualified and have extensive experience.

We are located in the center of Moscow: 2nd Tverskoy-Yamskoy lane, 10. The clinic is located near the metro stations Mayakovskaya, Belorusskaya, Novoslobodskaya, Tverskaya, Chekhovskaya.

Preparing to visit a doctor

After the partner has understood his problem, he has a question: how to get rid of frigidity? Specialists of JSC “Medicina” (clinic of academician Roitberg) will help to sort out their own problems.

Before visiting a sex psychologist, the patient may be examined by a gynecologist or urologist-andrologist. You should take a shower, do not forget a diaper and clean socks with you.

Special preparation for a meeting with a sexologist is not required, except that you should be ready to openly discuss your problems JSC “Medicina” (Academician Roitberg’s clinic) keeps information about each patient secret.

Women can ask:

• sexual life in the postpartum period;
• lack of orgasm;
• change of orientation in adulthood;
• couples consultations are open.

Diagnosis of frigidity

In addition to establishing the fact of lack of desire, the presence of pain, and so on, it is necessary to diagnose the cause of frigidity. If a woman has discomfort in the organ area during intercourse, she is examined by a gynecologist, who makes a final verdict on the presence of a disease or pathology.

A psychological problem is clarified with a psychologist or sexologist in the course of a series of conversations. Often, frigidity is a consequence of the girl’s immaturity, that is, she has grown physically, but is not yet ready mentally for adulthood. In this case, a psychologist works with her.

Treatment

After the diagnosis, the patient is explained how to treat frigidity. The complex of procedures depends on the identified cause of the disease.

Treatment of frigidity may consist of the whole complex or several points:

• hormone therapy;
• sessions with a psychologist;
• sessions with a sexologist in pairs or one at a time;
• taking drugs that increase libido;
• massage and aromatherapy.

The treatment of frigidity in women is often associated with the sensual sphere of relationships. The girl wants more attention, warmth, care, communication.

Home remedies

Herbal decoctions give positive results, but after a long period of treatment for frigidity.

Decoctions and tinctures:

• Golden root tincture is prescribed for a course of 1-3 months, taken 10-15 drops daily;
• soak dried night violet herb in Cahors for 14 days, drink a tablespoon half an hour before meals;
• ginseng tincture is sold in a pharmacy, use 20 drops per day, ginseng also increases the overall tone of the body;
• decoctions of wild rose, chamomile and nettle will help stabilize the body systems.

Myths and dangerous misconceptions in the treatment of frigidity

• True frigidity manifests itself as a complete lack of interest in sexual life. If a girl is temporarily uncomfortable or disappointed in her partner, this does not mean that she is frigid.
• Frigidity in men often hides its “imaginary” manifestation in the form of psychological problems. They arise in connection with stress, shocks, psychological trauma. After working through them with a psychologist, the problems disappear.
• Also, frigidity in women is often resolved after a couple of conversations with a sexologist. The couple simply does not discuss their preferences.

Prevention

To avoid frigidity in men, it is enough to take care of your psychological and physical health. At the first deviations, immediately visit a urologist, psychologist and sexologist.

You should talk with your partner about intimate life, talk about your preferences, what is unpleasant, build trusting relationships.

Don’t force yourself to go to bed with a partner because “that’s the way it’s supposed to be.” Nobody will like it and will cause complete rejection of both the partner and sex.

How to make an appointment as a sexologist?

You can make an appointment with a sexologist by filling out a simple form on the website or by calling the round-the-clock number +7 (495) 775-73-60.

We are located in the Central Administrative District of Moscow, not far from Mayakovskaya, Belorusskaya, Novoslobodskaya, Tverskaya, Chekhovskaya metro stations.

Here you can get a consultation, as well as diagnostics of various diseases. Our doctors are true professionals who are focused on the result of joint work with the patient. If you have any questions, you can ask them to the call center employee by phone.

“You can’t force women to give birth or have an abortion.” How Psychologists Help Survivors of Sexualized War Violence

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“Women who survived the violence in the war told me very often that they are worthless, that they deserve nothing more.” Present Time spoke with psychotraumatologist Ingeborg Kraus about how specialists can help women and girls who survived sexualized violence during the war in Ukraine – and what should not be done in any case in order not to aggravate the trauma

Warning: the material contains descriptions of scenes of violence and provides real examples of psychological trauma

Since the beginning of Russia’s military invasion of Ukraine, more than 400 women have reported sexualized violence by the Russian military, said Lyudmila Denisova, the country’s human rights ombudsman. She also sent an appeal to UNICEF with a request to send more psychologists to the country to help women.

Dozens of cases are known when women became pregnant after being raped. At the same time, some of them were faced with the fact that they could not have abortions if they wanted to. For example, in Poland, women fleeing the war cannot legally have abortions due to conservative legislation. And in Ukraine, there are several cases where underage girls were persuaded not to have an abortion because it “may deprive them of the opportunity to have children in the future.”

Women are particularly vulnerable during conflicts, including through sexualized violence. Conflict researchers and psychologists emphasize that sexualized violence during wars is associated with hatred, power, and dominance. It is carried out not only by the military of the parties to the conflict, but in some cases by international observers and the so-called liberation armies. Despite the fact that this phenomenon has occurred and occurs in almost every military conflict, it was only in 2008 that the UN classified it as a crime against humanity.

Ingeborg Kraus

Psychotraumatologist Ingeborg Kraus has been working with survivors of sexualized violence, including war survivors, for many years. For seven years she worked in the conflict zones during the war in the former Yugoslavia, mainly in Bosnia and Kosovo. According to various estimates, between 20,000 and 50,000 women have experienced sexualized violence in Bosnia alone. She also works with women forced into prostitution and victims of human trafficking.

Kraus spoke to Present Time about why sexualized violence is another weapon during conflicts, what happens to women who have experienced it, and how therapists can ethically work with clients to avoid further trauma:

– Sexualized violence occurs during all conflicts. We know that during the Second World War, women in Berlin were raped by the Soviet military. But nobody talks about it. I live in the south and I know people who have been through this. Women in nearby villages, for example, were raped by French soldiers who participated in the liberation of Germany from the Nazis. These women have to live with this trauma.

After that also children were born. I had one 70-year-old patient who came to me for a different reason, but he was the son of a woman who had been raped. Later, she simply gave him to an orphanage, and he grew up in this institution.

When I opened a women’s center in Pristina (Kosovo), I also met many women there who had been forced into prostitution during the war. One girl had a young man who tried to involve her in prostitution. I met these women one by one.

Also, after returning to Germany, I met women refugees from the countries of the former Yugoslavia. And violence against women [during the war] was also a way to make money. One of the women was in a concentration camp with the Serbs. There she became pregnant from one of the military, she was forced to give birth. Then she was told that the baby was stillborn, but she heard him cry. He was just sold for adoption.

— Can you describe the symptoms most commonly experienced by survivors of sexualized violence during the war?

— I cannot say with 100% accuracy that absolutely everyone has some symptoms. It depends on how long it lasted, how often, what happened to the person after. But everyone lives it in their own way.

The cultural context in which this happened is also important. For example, in one of the villages in Kosovo where I worked, we knew that many women were sexually abused and many men were killed. One NGO built a psychological help center there. It was three stories high. Not a single woman has ever visited him. Why? Because if even one girl came there, the society in which she lives would know about it. This was in fact an admission that she had been raped. It was impossible to work with this trauma in such a way, in such a social context. The people who spent a lot of money on this center, they didn’t think about how hard it would be for women to be in society with this [recognition]. You need to work with such an injury in a completely different way. No classical psychotherapy scheme will help to cope with such a trauma.

When I was working in Bosnia, I realized that I couldn’t just open my practice the way I would in Germany. Nobody would come to me. In Germany, for example, I cannot accept gifts from clients, but if a Bosnian woman gives me a gift, I am obliged to accept it, otherwise I will offend her. Then I came up with the idea of ​​calling women for coffee and thus conducting therapy. You have to understand that drinking coffee is part of the culture in Bosnia. I have had a severe caffeine addiction since then, but this worked. In Bosnia, women traditionally invite each other for coffee. While doing coffee therapy, I met many women who had experienced sexualized violence during the war. It was their way of opening up and dealing with trauma.

In Croatia, in one of the refugee camps, I met a woman. She was deeply traumatized not only because of the sexualized violence she experienced, but also because she lost everything, she had to flee the war. She just stopped talking. She was young, she was only about 20 years old. People asked me to help her. I tried to approach her several times, but she did not want to talk to me. Then I gave up trying. I then drove a truck, delivered food on it. And one day she came to the car. I asked her if she wanted something. She didn’t say anything. I invited her to come with me to deliver food. She nodded. So she began to travel with me constantly. Several weeks passed, and one day on the road she said something like: “You need to turn here.” I looked at her very surprised. But gradually she began to speak. She was helped by the fact that she traveled with me and somehow helped people, did something, rearranged some things.

Many victims have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). But there are different forms. For some it is mild, for others it is severe. There are times when people stop talking because the trauma is so severe that they have to dissociate. Many cannot describe in words what happened to them. Dissociation is typical of trauma. The same thing happened to several women in Ukraine: they are so traumatized by what happened that they cannot speak. It can also impair memory performance.

Again, it’s not just psychological trauma. Rapists want to permanently scar their lives. Some rapists deliberately arrange for rape to result in pregnancy, HIV infection, or other STDs. Some deliberately mutilate the female genital organs with various objects so that a woman will never be able to have children in the future.

SEE ALSO:

“He was very cruel. I thought he would kill me.” A resident of a village near Kiev spoke about the rape by a Russian soldier

– Speaking of rapists. Numerous studies show that sexualized violence is associated with power and control. Can we say that sexualized violence during wars has a similar background?

— From my experience, during wars people very often lose their awareness of the rules and laws. Even when it comes to things we don’t usually think about. For example, in peacetime, running a red light is prohibited, and stealing is prohibited. During the war, all this is discarded. And this is discarded not only for rapists, but in general for everyone. Life in its usual sense ceases to exist.

According to my observations, during wars, sexualized violence is committed not only by the parties to the conflict, aggressors, liberators, but also by international UN troops. When I was in Bosnia, everyone knew about it. We knew that some members of the UN mission went to brothels, and the women were there not of their own free will, they were forcibly involved in prostitution. And not only the UN, but also other international organizations. These men simply took advantage of the vulnerable position of these women to have sex.

In some places it was not so open. I worked with a woman, the staff of one organization in the refugee camp told her: “I give you food, and you sleep with me.” And the women were forced to sleep with them to eat. The men got away with it. And some of them were married. In a context where there are no rules, sexualized violence against women only intensifies.

— Do psychologists and psychotherapists who work with survivors of violence during conflicts need to undergo any additional training? In general, how different is work during the war from classical psychotherapy?

– I think a person needs to understand the concept of trauma. I constantly get requests from various organizations asking for training to work with women who have been sexually abused. I always refuse. Because you can’t help a woman who’s been so deeply traumatized in 12 sessions. On the contrary, it can only make things worse.

I remember that there were sessions of such classical therapy in Tuzla, Bosnia, during the conflict. They taught women to relax. In psychotherapy, especially when working with trauma, it is very important to teach patients to relax so that they can come from a nervous state to a calm one. But during one of these sessions, a bomb fell. Some people died. Not these women – but they heard everything. That is, these exercises were counterproductive. The most important thing to do in this kind of work is to bring women to a safe place so that they can feel really safe.

The most important thing for a therapist is to have an understanding of the trauma, and the second thing is to realize that this is a long-term work. What were the highlights in Bosnia – yes, people for the first time started to take sexualized violence seriously during the conflict. It was equated with a crime against humanity, but people also realized that rapists should be prosecuted. Casualties are not collateral losses in war. Finding and punishing the perpetrator is also part of the healing process.

SEE ALSO:

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— How to talk to people who have experienced sexualized violence in order not to re-traumatize them? You have already said that it is important to be in a safe place. What else do you need to pay attention to?

— Yes, safety comes first. It is also important to understand that women will only talk about it when they want to.

In the situation of the girl who stopped talking: she only started talking when she felt she wanted to. But then again, she never talked to me about what happened. And that’s okay. If she doesn’t want to, that’s also part of the process. I don’t have her contacts, but that was 25 years ago. But a few years ago, she sent me an email with a photo from her wedding. It was important for her, even after so many years, to tell me that now she is all right, and to thank me.

Returning to the understanding of trauma. You don’t have to talk about your injury in order to heal it. Many people have a misunderstanding of trauma. Many people think that it is necessary to say everything that happened in the smallest detail. No, this is just a re-traumatization of a person. It’s not necessary to talk about it.

It is also difficult to talk about it when you are also stigmatized by the society. And social connections are a very important resource that is not always taken into account. Thus, it is possible not only to re-injure a person, but also to make him an outcast in the society in which he lives. And he had nothing left.

– There are already cases in Ukraine when women and even girls became pregnant after being raped by the military. Is there any advice for psychologists and therapists on how they should behave? It is clear that women should not be forced to give birth or have abortions. How to ethically approach this issue?

– This is a very difficult question. First, women should in principle be able to have an abortion. For example, in 1996 I worked in a project of mobile gynecological clinics. We went to refugee camps. We informed women about the options, told them that they can have an abortion and how to do it safely. We provided information and medical assistance. But that’s just their decision. You cannot force women to have children or have abortions.

There are many children who were born during the war from rape. Many of them were not abandoned by their mothers. Mothers were able to take the children. For example, in Bosnia there is a girl Anna Yusich, she was born from rape, and she founded an organization for people like her. Her mother did not have an abortion, she was able to accept her and give her motherly love. She said that it took her mother a very long time, it was a long process, but in the end everything is fine now. It is not easy. But this is not your decision. The job of the therapist is to give the woman information and guide her to a place with medical help.

There have been cases in Bosnia where women became pregnant after being raped and were held by the military until it was no longer possible to have an abortion. And the women had no choice. And there was systematized violence in these concentration camps. About 20,000 women have experienced sexualized violence in Bosnia alone. This is a lot for such a small country.

SEE ALSO:

“Passports are still being taken away at the filtration camp.” Commissioner for Human Rights Lyudmila Denisova speaks about Ukrainians deported to Russia

– You said that it takes a very long time to heal an injury, that it is a long process. Trauma has no statute of limitations. But are there any methods that can help women cope with dissociation in the early stages and help themselves?

— Yes, of course. Firstly, these are some basic things like deep and slow breathing. There are techniques that help to cope with dissociation: to pronounce what I hear, what I see, what I physically feel now. All these techniques help to return from a dissociative state.

Safety is also very important. Both physical and financial. Ideally, a woman should not survive by earning money. Naturally, having left for another country, she will not be able to immediately start working. It is very important that the state supports them so that they have access to special medical care. Again, being touched by strangers is not a good idea. Financial security is very important. A very important story that happened after the war in Yugoslavia, in Bosnia, these women were recognized as war veterans. They have a pension and a discount on housing. This is part of that financial security.

And it’s just a matter of time: a few sessions and you’re cured, that’s not how it works.

What I often observe in my patients is that their nervous system is easily overexcited. You can go to therapy for 10 years, but that’s something that stays forever. Because of this, they overwork much faster than a person without injury. Because of this, they have limited options.

Again, just because you get therapy for psychological trauma doesn’t mean you’ll be cured right away. Sometimes this happens, but trauma works differently. She leaves scars for the rest of her life.

I would also like to add about PTSD. The kind of PTSD that the military suffers from and the kind of PTSD that survivors of war sexualized violence have are quite different. I also work with the military, so I can speak from my own experience. They also have traumatic flashbacks, dissociation, it’s excruciating. But the very big difference is that when this happens to a woman, it comes with a very deep sense of shame. The military who commit violence – they purposefully commit an act of abuse. After that, women’s self-esteem often collapses completely. The military doesn’t. Therefore, I often talk about the versatility of trauma. In the case of survivors of violence in the war, the personality is destabilized very strongly.

The soldiers who came to me for help were often able to enter into romantic relationships after these events. They do not feel that they are not worthy of this relationship. They are quite confident in themselves, in their personality, although they suffer from flashbacks and nightmares. But women who survived violence in the war told me very often that they were worthless, that they deserved nothing more. This is due to the fact that very often women in patriarchal societies are perceived as objects.