How to make a woman have orgasm: The request could not be satisfied
What can cause orgasm problems in women?
Causes of orgasm problems in women can be physical or psychological.
Common causes of orgasm problems in women include:
- not being stimulated sufficiently
- worrying about sexual performance
- mood disorders, such as depression
- problems with physical health, such as a long-term pain condition like arthritis
- a previous traumatic sexual experience
- problems in the relationship
- hormonal changes or problems, such as the menopause
- taking some types of medicine, such as the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) type of antidepressants
- having previous gynaecological surgery, such as a hysterectomy
- some health conditions, such as heart disease or multiple sclerosis
When can orgasm problems start?
Orgasm problems can be:
- primary: a woman has never had an orgasm
- secondary: she has had orgasms in the past, but cannot have one now
Also some women find they can orgasm when masturbating but not when they are with their partner. This could be due to problems with the relationship or not being stimulated sufficiently.
Some women do not need an orgasm to enjoy sex. However, for other women and their partners, being unable to have an orgasm can be a problem.
Sexual problems in women are common, especially in older women. Around one-third of young and middle-aged women are affected by sexual problems. While it is estimated that around 1 in 2 older women are affected by sexual problems.
Where to get help if you have orgasm problems
If you’re unable to have an orgasm see a GP. They can check for any physical reasons that may be causing the problem, which may well be treatable.
For example, if problems with your pelvis may be a factor, then doing regular pelvic floor exercises designed to strengthen muscles around your bladder, vagina and back passage, may help.
Read more about pelvic floor exercises.
If the cause is psychological, it may help to see a sex therapist or doctor. A GP can refer you, or you can see one privately. Look for a therapist who is a member of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT), or a doctor from the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine.
There’s more information about orgasms and other sexual problems on our page on female sexual problems.
Read the answers to more questions about sexual health.
Page last reviewed: 20 November 2019
Next review due: 20 November 2022
How to help a woman have her first orgasm
As a sex therapist and the creator of Finishing School, an online course that teaches women how to orgasm alone and with their partners, I’ve had a lot of conversations about first orgasms. Women have told me the specific thoughts that go through their heads when they’re with their partners. They’ve told me the major challenges and blockages that they face in reaching their climax. I’ve developed techniques for helping women let go and topple over the edge, and I’ve honed those techniques after getting feedback from hundreds of women. And now, I want to share that knowledge with you! Here are eight steps you can take to help your lady have her very first orgasm, whether she’s your long-term partner or a one-night stand.
Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in all things sex.
Don’t Pressure Her
One of the main frustrations I hear from my clients is that they feel pressured by their partners to have an orgasm. My clients have heard things like, “you’re the only woman I’ve been with who has had this problem.” Even phrases like, “I can’t be satisfied unless you orgasm” or “are you there yet?” can come off as pressuring with the wrong tone.
No one wants to feel that they need to perform a certain way in the bedroom. If you’ve ever struggled to get or stay hard, or control your orgasmic timing, I’m sure you can understand how terrible it is to feel performance pressure.
My advice—don’t even bring up the topic of orgasm. If she mentions it, you can set her at ease by saying something like, “I want to make you feel good when you’re with me. If you end up having an orgasm at the end, that’s great. But I’m more focused on making you feel good the entire time.”
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Make Her The Center Of Attention
The clitoris is the center of the orgasmic universe for women. The best way to make a woman orgasm is by using your fingers, your mouth—or both—on her clit. She’s most likely not going to orgasm from penetration alone, (only about 20-30% of women can), so aim to give her an orgasm first.
Unfortunately, a lot of women have a hard time allowing themselves to be the center of attention. If she balks, say something like, “I really enjoy focusing on you, so don’t worry about me. If you want to, you can make it up to me later.”
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Make Her Feel Good About Her Body
One of the reasons why it can be so hard for women to receive is because we’ve been socialized to be embarrassed of the appearance, taste, and smell of our genitals. She’s likely to feel a bit on guard with you getting so up close and personal. You can help her feel more comfortable by giving her tons of compliments. Tell her you think she tastes amazing. Tell her you could get lost between her legs.
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Now let’s talk about the specifics of what to do when you’re pleasuring her. One of the biggest mistakes men make is going way too fast. This isn’t a race! Most women love being teased as much as they love actually being licked and touched. Spend plenty of time nibbling her neck, kissing her thighs, and rubbing her labia over her underwear. You want her to be practically begging you for more before you even venture between her legs.
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Hone In On Her Clit
Another major mistake men make is being too rough with the clitoris. Her clitoris is much more delicate than your penis. Start off by touching her clitoris so slowly and so gently that you couldn’t even imagine it being pleasurable. Very, very gradually work your way up to more pressure and more speed. When it comes to the actual stroke you use with your fingers or your tongue, my advice is to not get too complicated. A woman is most likely to orgasm from simple, consistent strokes. With your fingers, try stroking back and forth diagonally across the surface of her clit. With your tongue, try going in circles around her clit.
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Get Her Feedback
If she hasn’t had an orgasm yet, she’s not going to know exactly what she needs to get there. Don’t ask her questions like, “what do you want?” or “what should I do?” That will just put her on the spot and make her feel uncomfortable. The smarter way to elicit feedback is by asking her to compare two strokes, two speeds, or two levels of pressure. Ask her, “do you like it better when I do this or this?”
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On average, women take about 20 minutes to reach orgasm. That’s another reason why I recommend keeping it simple with your strokes; you want to be able to sustain the same movement for about 20 minutes! It’s also important to continue helping her feel comfortable being the center of attention. If you notice her start to get impatient, tell her, “I’m loving this, so I’m going to keep going until you tell me you want me to stop.”
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Perhaps the best tip I could give you is to make sure you’re having fun as you’re pleasuring her. If you enjoy giving oral more than touching her, stick with your tongue. If there’s a particular stroke you enjoy doing, do it. Truly, there’s nothing hotter than having an enthusiastic partner. She’ll be able to relax and you’ll be able to enjoy pleasuring her. Talk about a win-win!
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What’s the Key to Female Orgasm During Sex?
THURSDAY, April 21, 2016 (HealthDay News) — Despite what’s often portrayed in movies and on TV, most women can’t orgasm with penetration alone during sexual intercourse.
And simple anatomy is to blame, a new evidence review suggests.
Each woman’s ability to orgasm during sex depends almost wholly on physical development that occurred while she was still in the womb, according to the review authors.
During gestation, the clitoris begins to drift up and away from the vaginal opening, the researchers said.
But among women whose clitoris drifted too far up, it may be very difficult or even impossible to have an orgasm during sex, because traditional lovemaking doesn’t provide enough friction to stimulate the clitoris, said Dr. Maureen Whelihan. She’s an obstetrician and gynecologist in West Palm Beach, Fla., and an expert with the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
“It’s not her fault. She was born that way,” said Whelihan, who was not involved with the research but reviewed the findings.
The researchers said they have figured out the distance between a woman’s clitoris and her urinary opening that can predict whether she will be able to orgasm during sex, without any additional stimulation.
The “magic number” is 2.5 centimeters—slightly less than 1 inch, said Elisabeth Lloyd, who was not involved with the new study. Lloyd is an affiliated faculty scholar with the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University-Bloomington.
“It’s so strong a correlation that if you give us a woman who has a distance of 3 centimeters, we can very reliably predict she won’t have orgasm with intercourse,” Lloyd said. “Women can do this measurement themselves or with their partner, to help explain their own sexual experience.”
Other factors, such as penis size, the skill of the sexual partner or the intensity of desire “might have some effect, but it really is the anatomical distance that seems to be predictive,” Lloyd said.
Exposure to male hormones in the womb increases the amount of drift, Lloyd said. “If she’s exposed to a lot of androgen, the clitoral bud migrates far away,” she said.
Between 70 percent to 90 percent of women are unable to achieve orgasm with penetration alone, Whelihan said.
“Of those that claim they can have purely vaginal orgasms, 90 percent of them say they have to be on top,” she added. “Guess what? When you’re on top, sitting on the partner’s erection and grinding on his abdomen, it’s really not just a vaginal orgasm. You’re rubbing your clitoris on his abdomen or pelvis.”
Nine out of 10 women in her practice have had an orgasm during their life, Whelihan said, but nearly all needed direct clitoral stimulation to achieve it.
What about the G-spot, the erogenous area purported to exist inside the vagina? Autopsies haven’t consistently supported the existence of the G-spot, the evidence review said.
A majority of sex experts don’t believe there is such a thing, Whelihan said. “According to most of the experts, we believe if the G-spot exists then it only exists in a few women,” she said.
Couples determined to achieve female orgasm during intercourse should start paying more attention to the clitoris, Lloyd and Whelihan said.
Couples can use positions where the female is on top, which allows the woman to get more friction against her clitoris. Or they can use a sexual position that allows either the man or the woman to rub the clitoris during sex, either with fingers or a sex toy, Whelihan said.
“There are many ways to have an orgasm where she’s having hers while he’s having his,” she said. “Couples should not focus on something that will never change anatomically, and instead find ways to allow for some type of clitoral stimulation during penetration.”
However, couples also should remember that orgasm with intercourse is not necessary for a woman to have a healthy or enjoyable sex life, Lloyd added.
“I think this approach is traditional, and it’s very common, but it’s problematic. We’ve learned in our research there are so many women who do not have orgasm with intercourse on a regular basis,” Lloyd said. “To put this banner of healthiness as having orgasm with intercourse kind of stacks the deck against these women who, because of their anatomy, cannot have orgasm with intercourse. “
The evidence review was conducted by Leslie Hoffman of the department of anatomy at Indiana University School of Medicine, and colleagues. The report was published online April 4 in the journal Clinical Anatomy.
SOURCES: Elisabeth Lloyd, Ph.D., affiliated faculty scholar, Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, Indiana University-Bloomington; Maureen Whelihan, M.D., obstetrician/gynecologist, West Palm Beach, Fla, and an expert for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists; April 4, 2016, Clinical Anatomy, online
Copyright © 2016 HealthDay. All rights reserved.
Published: April 2016
It takes 13.41 minutes to make a woman orgasm – 7 tips to send her wild – The US Sun
FANCY a quickie?
Well, it depends if you want your partner to enjoy it as much as you, it turns out.
The average woman takes 13.41 minutes to orgasm – and you probably want to be on topCredit: Getty Images – Getty
New findings reveal sex really is better for women, if you view it as a marathon, not a sprint.
The new study shows exactly how long it takes – on average – for a straight woman to reach the point of orgasm – and it’s longer than most men might think.
While the average bloke takes just six minutes to climax, it turns out women take on average 13.41 minutes.
So while Hollywood sex scenes might have actresses writhing in ecstasy in seconds, in the nation’s bedrooms proceedings are a bit more leisurely.
This revelation comes following a recent study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine last week, which examined the length of time it takes for women to climax.
Scientists got together a group of 645 straight women from 20 countries, mainly from the UK, the Netherlands, India and the US.
The participants in the study were all heterosexual women in monogamous relationships and the average age of the ladies tested was around 30 years old.
It might not sound very sexy, but these ladies were then asked to start a stopwatch when they became sexually aroused and stop it again when they climaxed – all in the name of science.
Over the course of eight weeks, the times ranged between 12.76 minutes to 14.06 minutes – and 17 per cent of the participants never experienced an orgasm.
On top of this, the experts found that penetrative sex was rarely the best way to get a woman off.
Only 31.4 per cent of participants climaxed this way.
7 tips to help women climax
Sex and relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr reveals seven ways you can increase your woman’s chances of orgasm…
1. Change up the time of day
Women’s hormonal peaks vary between morning, noon, or night. She should feel free to discover what time of day she feels most frisky. So experiment with Spoons position on a Sunday morning, Missionary at midday, and the Naughty Doggy position at night.
2. Tease to please
Many women don’t climax because they can’t take direct clitoral stimulation. Instead he can run his fingertips, or a vibrator, around her clitoral zone so he doesn’t overstimulate her. This teasing sensation builds her desire – the more desire, more likely she’ll climax.
3. Relax her mind
Run her a relaxing bath. Some women are wound up too tightly from a day at work or running after children, to relax to the point of having an orgasm. But simply slipping into warm water, and feeling a bit spoilt, can help her relax her mind – crucial for a climax.
4. Avoid booze
Women who feel a bit shy about letting go and climaxing, falsely think lots of alcohol will relax them enough. It actually shuts down their sensations. One study found that one glass of wine was the right amount of alcohol to help a woman relax.
5. Tickle her fancy
Another surprising method for relaxing and stimulating feel-good brain chemistry is having a laugh. So whether you put on some comedy for her, or have a fun tickle fight, you can laugh her into bed. And with that feel-good brain chemistry stimulated it helps put her in the mood to climax.
6. Use food to set the mood
Use food to set the mood! Stimulating a woman – all over – who doesn’t climax easily, has been found to help. So fix a tray of finger foods to hand feed her.
Be playful and let morsels of her favourite foods linger on her lips.
7. Scare tactics
Try some scare tactics! One fascinating study found that women who had just watched a scary film (not an extreme slash-horror but a thriller), or even went on scary rides at theme parks, felt sexually charged. The adrenaline coursing through their body sets the pace, putting them in the mood for full-on physical contact.
On average, 68.6 per cent of the ladies needed some other form of action too, including kissing, “light biting” or touching other body parts to climax.
Some positions were also more effective than others, with the most favourable style of sex being the woman on top.
42.2 per cent of ladies said this was the most optimal for them.
Relationship status didn’t matter either as it took about the same time for both married and unmarried women to finish.
Researchers also found some other surprising factors that impacted how quickly it took for women to orgasm.
And bizarrely they discovered wearing socks during the act can actually increase pleasure.
But it’s not all fun and games as one study this year uncovered what’s called persistent genital arousal disorder.
This affects women and those with the condition have constant, painful orgasms uncontrollably.
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10 Ways to Orgasm, According to Sex Therapists
It’s centuries too late if you ask me, but our culture is finally starting to embrace the female orgasm and acknowledge the fact that women feel, want, and need pleasure too (shocking!). Scientists are researching determinants of female orgasms, women are singing about feelin’ themselves, and people wouldn’t bat an eye if Sally pulled her orgasm-in-public performance in 2020 (well, maybe they would, but you get the point).
All of this is amazing progress for long-overdue gender equality (and we still have a lot of work left to achieve it), but all this “O” talk can put pressure on women to reach an orgasm, whether they’ve never had one, can only have one by themselves, or only know one way to have one (news flash: there are lots of ways). So for the betterment of your sex life (and because pleasure is your human right), here are 10 ways to orgasm that you might not have thought of, according to sex therapists and experts.
1. Indulge in other self-care practices
Megwyn White, a certified clinical sexologist and director of education at Satisfyer, suggested practices like dry brushing and scalp massage to increase sexuality and pleasure. “Dry brushing is a great way to stimulate circulation and detox the skin,” White said. “You’ll feel refreshed, and your tissues will feel soft and satiated. It’s a great self-care practice that can add a sensual start or end to your day. Likewise, giving yourself a scalp treatment at home with essential oils can reduce stress and activate your senses. You’ll feel refreshed, invigorated, and sexier.” Bottom line: find the indulgent practices that connect your mind with your body and stimulate the senses. You’ll feel heightened awareness that can translate into more sexual pleasure (and the chance to check out yo’ bad self in the mirror will be an added sexy bonus).
2. Explore blended orgasms
Here’s the good news: from clitoral orgasms to nipple orgasms, there’s no shortage of orgasms to be had. And better yet, they don’t necessarily have to be independent of one another. A blended orgasm is two (or more) simultaneous orgasms, resulting in an intense, full-body response. While this may sound difficult and you may be thinking great, even more pressure in the climax department, know that our bodies are meant to experience multiple different sensations.
“If you stimulate multiple regions, you create more intense sensations, and multiple nerves communicate the sensation of pleasure at the same time,” said Dr. Jess O’Reilly, founder of Sex With Dr. Jess and Astroglide’s re
3. Get creative juices flowing
That’s right: that pottery class you took in college could have been increasing your chance to orgasm. “Sexual energy and artistic expression are not mutually exclusive,” White said. “Creativity will naturally stir the pot of your sexual nature and also invite you to think out of the box and invite new experiences into your world.” No matter if your favorite form of creativity is singing, dancing, painting, or scrapbooking, it doesn’t necessarily have to be erotic to help boost your pleasure when it comes to sex.
Being creative in whatever way feels expressive and enjoyable to you can tap into your sexual energy, but will also get you into a creative and open mindset that will encourage you to try new things (see #6 below). You can tell your significant other we told you to sign up for that painting class or dance lesson (and I’m sure when they know the benefits, they’ll want to join too).
4. Talk about sex
Looks like Salt-N-Pepa were onto something! Kamil Lewis, AMFT, believes getting comfortable talking about sex outside of the bedroom can help encourage a healthy sex life. “Talking about sex with friends is a great way to normalize sex and provides a space to ask questions and hear about other experiences,” Lewis said. “The more comfortable you feel talking about sex, the more empowered you will feel when it’s time to get into it.”
Yes, it’s important to have a support system outside of your relationship or sexual partner (Sex-and-the-City style) to talk openly about sex and normalize a lot of the subjects that have been taboo for far too long. But it’s equally just as important to communicate openly and honestly with your sexual partner, whether you’re in a committed relationship or not. “Give yourself permission to talk with your partner or partners about orgasms,” Lewis said. “If this is something you want to change in your relationship, it’s important to bring it up.”
5. Build sensuality outside of the bedroom
Sexuality is an equal mix of physical and mental. It’s not going to immediately switch on when you walk into the bedroom, nor is it reserved for the bedroom. Hani Avital, clinical sexologist and sensuality expert, said it best to S Life Magazine, “Sexuality is our life force. The more we cultivate that energy in everything we do, the more alive we will feel. Period.” Remember that your sexuality is powerful and life-giving, not shameful. Build sensuality in your day-to-day life by indulging in self-care that feels good (like massaging in body oil after your shower or taking a decadent bath) and making decisions based on what would feel more pleasurable for you.
Not only will this help you feel more vibrant in your day-to-day life, but it might also help you experience more pleasure in the bedroom. Lewis recommended using mindful moments throughout the day, like paying attention to the temperature of the water in your shower or the smells of your food, to feel more connected to your body and improve sexual connection. Dr. O’Reilly agreed. “You are not a light switch. You likely can’t transition from talking about your kids and taxes to indulging in sexual pleasure and orgasm,” she said. “Take time to indulge in all things pleasurable throughout the day to cultivate more presence in your body and remind yourself that pleasure is your birthright.”
6. Try new things
If you’re not reaching climax, it might be because whatever you’re doing is not working. Even if you are orgasming but are hesitant to try something new, you could be missing out on an even more intense and enjoyable climax. Dr. O’Reilly recommended getting creative with sex toys and lube, which are both associated with heightened pleasure and orgasmic response.
Mia Sabat, the sex therapist at Emjoy, agreed that trying new things is important. “You don’t know what’s going to get you going until you try,” Sabat said. “Sometimes, we forget that there’s more to our body than our vulva, and we’re surprised to see how much a specific place or type of stimulation can help us reach our orgasm end-goal.” Bottom line: try new things, whether it’s positions, toys, body parts, or even the routine, for the sake of enjoyment and getting to know your body better. An orgasm will just be a welcomed bonus.
7. Make masturbation a part of your self-care routine
So you already know that masturbation can help you orgasm, but it might not be easy to reach climax if you only think of the ménage à moi as a must-do when you’re in between partners (thank you, quarantine). Exploring your own sexuality and pleasure should be just as much a part of your self-care routine as a face mask or a bubble bath (and, FYI, can be done simultaneously with both!). “Stop thinking about masturbation as a dirty little secret. It’s a perfectly healthy thing to do, with a myriad of health benefits. It can be used to ease pain, boost your mood, and even help with period cramps,” Sabat said. “By framing masturbation as part of your self-care routine, you can explore your body with comfort and confidence instead of something to feel embarrassed about.”
Dr. O’Reilly calls the brain the most powerful sex organ, and for good reason. Remember how sexuality is a mix of physical and mental? The physical component might be stimulated, but the mental component needs to be stimulated too in order to achieve mind-blowing pleasure. Fantasizing can help you explore your sexuality and find different ways to feel pleasure, rather than getting caught up in achieving an orgasm and the dreaded performance anxiety.
Luckily for us, there are multiple ways to fantasize besides imagining shirtless Ryan Gosling or watching Rihanna’s “Pour it Up” music video (though both are great if they do it for you!). “There are many ways you can stimulate the brain, like listening to erotica, engaging with pornography created for a female audience, or simply taking the time to gently let your mind and body ease into a sexual state through sensual massages, candlelit baths, or self-pleasure,” Sabat said.
9. Don’t over-hype the climax
OK, back to that pressure to orgasm. Yes, there is a huge orgasm gap, and yes, you deserve to orgasm as often as you want every single time. But we often hype up the climax so much (I mean, it is called “the climax”) that so many women struggle to get there because of the pressure to achieve it. We look at our ability to orgasm to determine whether it was “good sex” or even whether or not we’re “normal.” Here’s the truth: it’s good sex if it felt good, and anything is normal if it’s normal for you. Instead of focusing on the end-goal, focus on the pleasure you feel before and during sex. Not only will it be more pleasurable overall, but you might be more likely to orgasm. The destination is better when you enjoyed the journey, right?
In fact, Gigi Engle, certified sexologist and award-winning author, suggested delaying orgasming instead of focusing on achieving it. She said, “Slowly bring yourself closer and closer, but hold back before going over the edge. When you become aroused and then let it go, the energy is recycled, waiting just under the surface to be ignited once again. If you keep building towards a finale, the endgame will be unreal.”
10. Romance yourself
No, this is not some cheesy self-love advice; it’s truly the most effective way to increase pleasure, sensuality, and orgasms, whether you’re solo-sexing or with a partner. When we take time to make ourselves feel special like we would a romantic partner, we increase confidence, comfortability, and just feel hotter; to quote my queen Lizzo, “No, I’m not a snack at all. Look, baby, I’m the whole damn meal.” FYI, Lizzo definitely knows how to romance herself. No matter your relationship status, we can all afford a little more self-romance.
“Even if you’re going solo, it doesn’t mean that you have to skip the romance,” Sabat said. “Don’t be afraid to light some candles, put on some perfume, and dim the lights to set the mood. This is your own personal adventure and something to enjoy, not rush. Don’t rush it or sell yourself short; this is about treating yourself in exactly the way you want to be treated, and you deserve the best.” As Lizzo would say: “‘Scuse me while I feel myself.”
Remember the Katz’s Deli scene in “When Harry Met Sally” when Sally (Meg Ryan) writhes and moans and pounds on the table to demonstrate her pitch-perfect imitation of la petite mort?
“Most women at one time or another have faked it,” she says.
“Well, they haven’t faked it with me,” Harry (Billy Crystal) retorts.
Sally’s right. Sixty-seven percent of heterosexual women admitted to occasionally faking orgasm in a study published last year in the Journal of Sex Research (Vol. 47, No. 6). And like Harry, most men don’t believe it could happen to them, with only 20 percent saying they think their female partners might fake, according to another yet-to-be published study by William McKibbin, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan, Flint.
“The men also reported they’d be distressed to find out their partners were faking,” says McKibbin.
With 28 percent of men occasionally faking it themselves, they shouldn’t be too surprised. What is surprising: Faking isn’t always bad for your sex life. Depending on a woman’s motivation, pretending to orgasm can actually increase her sexual satisfaction, according to research by Erin B. Cooper, a clinical psychology doctoral student at Temple University.
“Some women may fake it ’til they make it,” says Cooper, who presented her research at APA’s 2010 Annual Convention in San Diego.
Cooper and McKibbin are among a growing number of scientists studying the human orgasm, a topic frequently covered by women’s magazines but relatively unexplored by the research community. In the past few years, however, scientists have conducted a slew of studies and written several books on the topic — with the function of female orgasms emerging as a particularly hot area of debate.
While this research may not lead to a cure for cancer, it isn’t frivolous. Orgasms are, after all, a major motivating factor behind many human behaviors, and they play a crucial role in the story of our species’ evolution, Cooper says.
“We can’t leave it to pop culture and movies to explain these things,” says Cooper. “Sexuality is such an important part of people’s lives.”
‘Fantastic bonus’ or fertility control?
Like Harry, 90 percent of men say they care if their partners have orgasms, and there may be a deeply rooted reason for that, according to a study by McKibbin, published in Personality and Individual Differences (Vol. 49, No. 8).
McKibbin and his colleagues surveyed 299 heterosexual men in committed relationships, asking how much time they had spent with their partners since they last had sex. The men also revealed how much they wanted their partners to climax the next time they had sex, and how hard they’d work to make it happen. The study found that the men most interested in their partners’ future orgasm were the ones who hadn’t seen much of their girlfriends or wives lately.
But why reward potential infidelity with orgasms?
“Our research gives some preliminary evidence supporting the idea that the female orgasm functions to selectively uptake a particular man’s sperm over another,” McKibbin says.
Humans probably evolved in societies in which it was common for a woman to sleep with many men over a relatively short period of time, argues biologist Alan S. Dixson, PhD, in his book, “Sexual Selection and the Origin of Human Mating Systems” (Oxford University Press, 2009). That’s why men have relatively large testicles and produce so many sperm, Dixson posits. Male mountain gorillas, in comparison, face a low risk of sperm competition because they keep close watch over a harem of females, possibly explaining their relatively small testicles.
While there’s solid evidence for sperm competition, there’s less grounding for the theory that women’s orgasms have anything to do with fertilization, says Elisabeth Lloyd, PhD, a science historian at Indiana University, Bloomington, and author of “The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution” (Harvard University Press, 2005). The current evidence, she says, suggests the female orgasm is simply a byproduct of the male orgasm.
“The female orgasm is like the male nipple. It has a clear function in one sex, but not in the other,” she says.
The male orgasm positively reinforces ejaculation and therefore encourages males to propagate the species, Lloyd says. Women get a parallel ability as a “fantastic bonus” because their tissues and nerves are laid down at the same time during fetal development.
In support of the fantastic bonus theory, Lloyd points out that only about 8 percent of women reliably have otherwise unassisted orgasms during penile-vaginal intercourse, while nearly all men do. In addition, these women seem to be benefiting from an accident of physiology — they happen to have clitorises that are close to their vaginal opening, according to new research by Lloyd and Emory University psychology professor Kim Wallen, PhD, in press in Hormones and Behavior.
“Very few women can climax through intercourse alone, but in Hollywood, that 8 percent [of women] is portrayed as 100 percent,” she says. “It’s like, in some misguided bid for equality, we are trying to make women’s orgasms serve the same function as men’s.”
Though scientists have yet to make a direct link between orgasms and fertility, there’s a growing body of research pointing in that direction, counters Barry Komisaruk, PhD, an orgasm researcher and psychology professor at Rutgers University. For example, researchers at the University of Manchester found fewer sperm in the post-coital “flowback” of women who had orgasms versus those who didn’t (Animal Behaviour, Vol. 46, No. 1.) Another research team, at the Universities of Erlangen and Gottingen, Germany, found through a series of studies that uterine contractions are the primary method of sperm transportation. These contractions move sperm not only into the uterus, but laterally, toward the more mature ovarian follicle, and women who are better at doing this are more likely to get pregnant, according to a study published in Animal Behaviour (Vol. 4, No. 4). Pair that with research showing that uterine contractions intensify during the oxytocin release triggered by orgasm, and you have compelling evidence that the female orgasm, while certainly not necessary, can play a role in fertilization, says Komisaruk.
“Orgasm is a very complex function that involves the whole autonomic system and a huge amount of brain activity,” he says. “It must be doing something, and it’s up to us to figure out what that is.”
One possibility: Orgasms may allow women to make a subconscious last-minute call about whether they want to be fertilized by a particular partner. Supporting that idea is a study by researchers at the University of New Mexico, published in Animal Behavior (Vol. 50, No. 6). It surveyed 86 heterosexual couples and found women have more orgasms with men whose bodies are more symmetrical. For animals in many species, symmetry serves as shorthand for genetic quality — asymmetry suggests that an organism has developed abnormally. So these women are, perhaps, having orgasms to increase the chances of getting fertilized by genetically robust males, says the study’s lead author, Randy Thornhill, PhD.
The finding lends support to the idea that women could fake orgasms to reassure or trick their partners about paternity, adds McKibbin. It could also serve to reassure partners that they are, genetically speaking, high-quality males. That certainly jibes with his study, which found that men care more about their partners’ climaxing if they haven’t been together recently.
“It’s almost like an arms race, with women maybe evolving the orgasm to select high-quality sperm, men counter-evolving an interest in orgasms to help ensure paternity, and women perhaps evolving the tendency to fake, obscuring paternity,” he says.
Fish fake it, too
As with women, orgasm may give female fish the ability to make a last-minute call about their partners’ genetic quality. In a study published in Animal Behaviour (Vol. 61, No. 2), Swedish researchers recorded the spawning behavior of brown trout.
Brown trout reproduce externally — the male and female fish climax simultaneously and release their sperm and eggs into the open water. The event must be timed perfectly, so the female trout indicates she is about to release her eggs by digging a bed in the sand, crouching by it, opening her mouth and quivering. Male fish respond by crouching and quivering beside her. Their quivering intensifies and, about half the time, they both climax. The other half the time, the female quivers, but never releases her eggs.
That faking might serve the purpose of allowing female trout to save their eggs for higher-quality males, a theory supported by the observation that female trout were more likely to fake orgasms when better-looking, more dominant fish lurked nearby. More often, however, the females faked it when the males were not in the exact right position, says study author Erik Petersson, PhD, a biology professor at Uppsala University.
“What is the point of choosing a high quality male if you behave in such a way that your eggs will not be fertilized?” he says.
Perhaps for both women and fish, fake orgasms are an unconscious fertility-related adaptation, he adds.
As for heterosexual women’s conscious motivations, the most common reason women fake is “altruistic deceit” — or sparing their partner’s feelings, according to Cooper’s survey of 1,500 women. She also found that while altruistic fakers miss the opportunity to tell their partners what would make them climax, such faking doesn’t seem to affect their sexual satisfaction.
“I think of it as a relationship maintenance strategy,” she says, adding that women may fake orgasm to avoid difficult or uncomfortable discussions with their partners.
Less commonly, women fake orgasm to avoid having difficult discussions with themselves, Cooper found. These women feel that something is wrong with them if they don’t climax through intercourse, so they fake it to avoid facing their own fears. Such motivation, which Cooper terms “insecure avoidance” predicts less sexual satisfaction.
Some women, found Cooper, may be able to actually increase their sexual satisfaction by faking orgasm. These women fake for their own enjoyment, and report heightened levels of arousal as a result.
In any of these cases, the root reason women pretend to have orgasms is to shore up the difference between expectations and reality, according to University of Kansas psychology professor Charlene Muehlenhard, PhD.
A study she and student Sheena Shippee conducted, published in 2010 in the Journal of Sex Research (Vol. 47, No. 6), found that most faking happened during penile-vaginal intercourse. Of the women who had ever feigned orgasm, 55 percent pretended in that scenario, as compared with just 8 percent during oral sex and 4 percent during manual stimulation.
This finding supports the idea that there’s a cultural script at play, where women and their partners expect them to orgasm without external clitoral stimulation, Muehlenhard says. When expectations and reality don’t line up, people fake it — men and women.
“When men pretended orgasm, it was often because they saw no other way for sex to end,” she says. In response to the question about what would have happened had he not pretended, one man wrote, “I would probably be going to this day!”
Taken together, the research suggests that many heterosexual couples share relatively rigid beliefs about the way sex should go — with a period of foreplay, followed by the woman peaking, then the man. That’s too bad, says Lloyd, since it prevents couples from exploring their limitless potential for sexual expression.
“Sexuality is a wonderfully complex thing,” she says. “We shouldn’t be so focused on getting to the finish line.”
Six things science has revealed about the female orgasm
By Michael Marshall
This week we report on the continuing debate about female ejaculation: is it real, and if so why does it happen?
See: Everything you always wanted to know about female ejaculation (but were afraid to ask)
Ejaculation is just one of the aspects of female sexuality that are being demystified by research. In particular, the female orgasm, the subject of so many myths and folk beliefs, is gradually being understood.
Following some intense field research, here are some of the key facts about the female orgasm, as revealed by modern science.
The G spot is real
The G spot is a small region in the vagina that, if stimulated, can produce wildly intense orgasms – or so the popular claim goes. However, for decades, strong evidence for the region’s existence was harder to find than the spot itself.
However, in 2008, an Italian research team found anatomical differences between women who could have G-spot orgasms and women who couldn’t; apparently solving the mystery. The researchers have since begun teaching women with G spots how to put them to use.
See: Ultrasound nails location of the elusive G spot
The brain switches off
It’s folk wisdom that people can’t think straight when they have sex on their minds, but when women have an orgasm most of their brains switch off.
A brain scanning study showed that many areas of women’s brains were deactivated during orgasm, including those involved in emotion. The effect was less striking in men, but that may be because male orgasms are so short they are hard to detect in a brain scan.
See: Orgasms: A real turn-off for women
Many women can’t have orgasms
According to a 1999 survey, around 43 per cent of women in the US have some sort of problem with their sex lives (Journal of the American Medical Association, vol 281, page 537).
Female sexual dysfunction (FSD) is so common that the very idea that it is a medical disorder has come under attack. If nearly half the female population has a problem, say critics, does that mean it is our society that is dysfunctional?
Even so, efforts to develop drugs to treat it are underway. The impotence drug Viagra has had mixed results in women, but there are many other avenues being explored.
See: What women want
Genes affect orgasm frequency
According to the first genetic study of the female orgasm, up to 45 per cent of the variation in women’s ability to have them could be down to genes.
Many women never have orgasms during intercourse, and some also cannot have them through masturbation. Some of this may be down to external factors like upbringing, but the study showed the genetic factor is significant.
See: Genes blamed for fickle female orgasm
Technology can help
Perhaps the most extreme solution is the so-called “orgasmatron”; an implant inserted into the spinal cord, which stimulates the user when switched on via a remote control.
Despite an initial struggle to find subjects for clinical testing, the device is now in development.
See: Push my button
Some mystery remains
The female orgasm is a puzzle for evolutionary biologists. It is unclear why women should have orgasms at all, and it is particularly baffling that so many women should be unable to have orgasms during penetrative sex, but able to have them by masturbation.
According to researcher Elisabeth Lloyd, that implies that female orgasms are an evolutionary accident. Like male nipples, they persist simply because there is no good reason to get rid of them.
See: The case of the female orgasm
More on these topics:
90 000 How to bring a girl to orgasm with her tongue
Author: Valeria Aginskaya.
Oral sex is a frequently neglected type of intimate relationship between a man and a woman. In fact, there is nothing reprehensible about cunnilingus, like blowjob. The caresses of the genitals with the tongue and lips are capable of delivering the highest pleasure. It is also a manifestation of trust between partners. Do you want to bring your girlfriend to bright orgasms and become the best lover for her? Watch our video course “Cunnilingus Techniques”.Sexologist Valeria Aginskaya tells in detail what should and should not be done during oral sex so that a woman is literally thrilled with pleasure.
Friends, we are pleased to invite you to familiarize yourself with our video courses and become a truly cool lover or mistress, you will learn how to experience enchanting orgasms and amaze your partner with your sexual skills.
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Summary of article
Why do girls like Cooney so much?
Stimulation of the genitals with the tongue and lips gives an unforgettable pleasure if the partner knows the techniques.Here are just a few reasons why ladies are crazy about cunnilingus:
- Vivid sensations. Nature has presented the female clitoris with 2 times more nerve endings than the male penis. Accordingly, during caresses with the tongue, the most delicate and moist organ, a powerful orgasm is achieved. Together with the impact on the G-spot in the vagina, the girl is able to experience a double high.
- Release of the hormone oxytocin. It reduces headaches, improves mood, and reduces the harmful effects of stress.If your loved one is sad or complains of feeling unwell, give her an orgasm from oral sex.
- Feeling of power over a man, complete trust in each other. When a guy presses his mouth to the most intimate, the woman feels loved, so the pleasure from sex increases significantly.
- Additional lubrication. Natural vaginal discharge is not always enough, and no one will like friction on a dry surface. The partner’s saliva is moistened (although we still recommend using an oral lubricant).
- The possibility of a girl getting a clitoral orgasm. Many ladies, due to their physical and physiological characteristics, cannot experience a vaginal orgasm. Cunnilingus is able to give another, no less bright and pleasant kind of pleasure.
How to bring to orgasm with the tongue: general rules and tips
In our course “How to do cunnilingus correctly” you will find many secret techniques that will make a girl appear in seventh heaven with bliss. But we’ll share some basic rules right now.
- Hygiene. A clean-shaven face, brushed teeth, and trimmed nails are a must. Even if your beard looks very sexy, a woman is unlikely to appreciate its beauty when the stubble burns in the crotch. Breathing should be fresh, you are going to kiss your partner. Sloppy nails – the risk of injuring delicate mucous membranes when you connect your fingers. Therefore, the first step to a successful Cooney is taking care of your own hygiene.
- Atmosphere and foreplay. To achieve orgasm, a girl needs to turn off her head, not think about anything other than sex itself.For this, the setting and foreplay are important. Light candles, invite her to shower with you, decorate the room with flower petals, massage to tune the woman’s body for pleasure.
- It’s not just the tip of the tongue that is “working”. Engage the entire surface of this organ, alternating gentle movements with more intense and active ones. The direction can be any. In the process, be sure to observe the girl’s reaction: to the stimulation of which points does her body respond the most?
- Don’t dwell solely on the clitoris.Yes, there are more than 8 thousand nerve endings, but licking the labia, the pubis, the entrance to the vagina is no less pleasant. Many ladies love it when a man penetrates his tongue inside. Explore the entire bikini area and every point to give the girl an amazing orgasm.
- Engage the entire mouth. Lips and tongue caresses at the same time make you experience a real buzz. Some young ladies are not against light touches with their teeth, but do not overdo it here, so that instead of pleasant sensations, painful sensations do not turn out.
- Tired of using the language? Relax a little, and at this time caress your partner’s intimate areas with your fingers. Be sure to provide adequate hydration with a lubricant.
- When the girl’s orgasm approaches, keep the same pace and type of stimulation, do not change the technique, do not break away from the same point. You will understand about your partner’s readiness to cum by breathing, moans, body curves, pelvic movements and the pull of your head.
In general, monitor the condition and reaction of the woman.Even if she herself is embarrassed to guide you, her body will tell you whether you are doing everything right or not.
How to bring to orgasm with cunnilingus: common techniques
There are many ways to give a lady unearthly pleasure in oral sex. By combining and alternating them, you will become an amazing lover in her eyes, from whom you do not want to leave.
- Bee. The tongue must be folded into a tube and led around the clitoris, along the labia, and the rest of the perineum.At the same time, touch the sensitive tubercle itself slightly, do not press on it with all force.
- Jelly tongue. As the name suggests, the muscle should be relaxed. Moisturize well the intimate area of the girl, gently touching the skin.
- Moth. Imagine that your tongue is the wings of a butterfly. Swing it from side to side, move it up and down, stimulating the entire perineum.
- Zigzag. Now you have to work as an abstract artist. Using your tongue, draw fancy patterns and zigzags, letters and numbers in the woman’s bikini area – everything that imagination is capable of. In this case, the movements should alternate: light and affectionate are replaced by assertive, active, and vice versa.
- Cunnilingus and G-spot. With your tongue and lips you stimulate the clitoris and the labia minora. At this time, your fingers are in the woman’s vagina. On the front wall, you will feel the cherished G-spot. Press on it simultaneously with the Cooney. Such an effect can give a girl two orgasms at once: clitoral and vaginal.
You will find even more techniques for bringing a woman to the peak of oral pleasure in the course “Cunnilingus Mastery”.Be sure to watch it to become the perfect lover for your passion.
Why doesn’t an orgasm come?
It happens that a man has been “working” for a long time, but the girl never finishes. The reasons here are not only in the partner’s ability to satisfy the lady, he can be a master in this art. What prevents the young ladies from ending? Psychologists and sexologists distinguish several factors.
- Emotional and physical state. The female orgasm is always in the head, and therefore unnecessary thoughts must be thrown out of it.Girls often find it difficult to relax and concentrate on their own feelings. If you are worried about feeling unwell, problems at work or family, it is unlikely that you will be able to step back and enjoy the process. Your task is to make foreplay so pleasant and relaxing that the lady will forget about everything else.
- The condition of the muscles of the vagina. If they are weak, it will be very difficult to get an orgasm. Encourage your partner to train them to tone them up.
- Relationship between you.It is very important for women to trust their man in order to completely relax in bed. If you have recently been together or have not yet reached that level of openness, perhaps you should not rush into kuni. First, let the girl learn to trust and surrender to you.
- Sexual temperament. In medicine, a weak, medium and strong sexual constitution is distinguished. Depending on this, it is easier or more difficult for women to achieve orgasm. However, even those who have not been awarded a strong temperament by nature do not need to despair.An experienced partner, complete relaxation and a sincere desire for pleasure work wonders.
As statistics show, orgasm from cunnilingus occurs much more often than from traditional intercourse. Therefore, arm yourself with theory and go ahead – test the techniques in practice and bring your partner to the peak of pleasure.
Friends, we are pleased to invite you to familiarize yourself with our video courses and become a truly cool lover or mistress, you will learn how to experience enchanting orgasms and amaze your partner with your sexual skills.
Female sex courses Male sex courses Free courses
90,000 How to bring a girl and a woman to orgasm.
Men are less demanding in sex than women. Although they, men, need a special approach. But women, about how to give sweet pleasure, know a little more than men about how to bring a woman to orgasm. Indeed, sometimes the woman herself is surprised at how little she needs today to experience an orgasm. But the last time her beloved had to sweat a lot.Therefore, some advice in such a matter of how to give a woman pleasure will not be superfluous for anyone.
Take the initiative
In order not to once again force your beloved to waste energy “in the wrong place”, and at this time you mentally dreamed that he would change the course of direction, and, finally, understood how to give a woman pleasure, take the initiative into your own hands. Why waste precious time is better to start a good warm-up right away.
If your partner does not realize that it is very important for you that there is foreplay before sex, arrange it yourself.Show your loved one that such cute “flirting” will add even more passion to your sex. Some men, for some unknown reason, consider the prelude to be some extra pampering and do not seek to give a woman pleasure in the preparatory process. It is better for them to get down to business right away, they are not particularly interested in how ready a woman is for this. But for a woman, foreplay and sex are one.
It is worth showing with body movements, deep and frequent breathing how pleasant you are to his touch on your chest, genitals.If the man’s hand is lost somewhere not where you would like, take it and put it in the place that is waiting for affection. After all, sometimes a partner is ready for anything, but he just does not know how to give a woman pleasure in the best way / Therefore, you must play the role of a kind teacher who knows how to teach a lesson so that the student will master it the first time. There will be nothing humiliating for a man and indecent for a woman, especially if you are in bed with your partner for the first time. If everything works out for you, and the man turns out to be unusually understanding, then there is a chance that your relationship will develop further.And for a man it is no longer difficult to prove himself in relation to how to give a woman pleasure.
Don’t be afraid to be frank
Shyness and stiffness have never been the “girlfriends” of sex. They made him boring. And they did not help the man to bring the woman to orgasm. Yes, and deaf silence, too, does not add color to intimate relationships. Of course, no one calls for talking in bed instead of having sex, but you can say a couple of such desired tender words to both a man and a woman.Such phrases: “Darling, you make me very pleasant!” And a man, thanks to such words, will already have some experience – what, where and how brings a woman to orgasm. Whoever is in bed with you, a novice lover or an experienced partner, end your sex with the words that any of the men wants to hear. The phrase: “Do you know how to bring a woman to orgasm” will be the highest praise for your chosen one.
What does it mean to give a woman pleasure? This means giving her pleasant moments, from the moment when you are alone and ending with an orgasm. It is a mistake to think that orgasm is the only pleasure. It turns out that everything else is just senseless sighs, unnecessary movements. Pleasure should be present even when you take off each other’s clothes and be throughout the entire period of your intimacy.
How to bring a girl to orgasm
For sex to be real, it must end in orgasm. The most wonderful sex is sex when both partners have an orgasm and experience it at the same time.Although polls show that every person has a different kind of orgasm, especially in women. If in men this is visually expressed evidence – ejaculation, then in women it happens secretly, that is, it is not visible to the human eye. Therefore, women are able to simulate an orgasm for all sorts of reasons.
A good partner will always show her partner with her behavior, breathing, movements that she has received the highest point of pleasure – orgasm. But even if she failed to experience it, she will not show it. And she will do everything as if her partner is the best sex giant. But whatever it was, a man should strive to bring the girl to orgasm. And this can be achieved when partners think not only about their own pleasure, but also about the pleasure of each other.
You cannot start a cold car, you cannot fry potatoes in a cold frying pan, everything requires heat. And to bring a girl to orgasm, she and her body must be well warmed up. And for this to happen, you need to “click” on certain points or zones.In scientific language, they are called – erogenous, and play an important role in caresses, foreplay, sex. Knowing where your partner’s erogenous points or zones are, means clearly knowing how to bring a girl to orgasm. It is they who help to relax a woman, ignite passion in her, excite.
An increased testosterone level in the morning puts a man on alert, while his beloved is still sleeping sweetly. But the very erogenous zones that an experienced man begins to skillfully find help to wake up the sleeping beauty. Caressing, gentle touching, stroking, kissing, all this gradually awakens desire in the girl. After which the man has no choice but to bring the girl to orgasm.
When you find yourself alone with your beloved, whether he is your boyfriend, husband, lover, or maybe a man with whom you have sex for the first time, you should feel like a seductive goddess. To bring a sweetheart to combat readiness, romanticism and easy debauchery should be present in the bedroom.To seduce a guy, husband, lover, all this must happen in your performance. For such a case, it is not necessary to stage the entire Kama Sutra. Sometimes this requires beautiful underwear, appropriate furnishings, and a mischievous mood. So that everything is tempting and interesting, behave naturally and do what the mind, heart and most importantly other organs of the body suggest. After all, she herself must help the guy to bring the girl to orgasm.
Before starting to develop a plan on how to seduce a guy, any girl thinks (while the guy is not yet in her bedroom):
– will he like her naked body;
– is she attractive enough for him;
– will he be good with her during sex.
So remember – sex was invented not only for ideal lovers, figures and bodies. Men look with great pleasure on the beauties on the street, on the TV screen, on the covers of glossy magazines, as nature created them. But this does not mean at all that nothing will shine for you after you make every effort to seduce a guy and have good sex with him. Everything around for men is just pictures, and if there is an experienced seductress nearby, then hardly any of the men can resist her charm, which does not always consist in ideal forms.Sometimes in such a matter of how to choose and how to seduce a guy, a charming smile and a sly look magically act.
A woman thirsting for sex emits a certain smell, which not only men love, but also feel it. Therefore, using your favorite perfume, do not drown out the natural smell of a woman. Otherwise, you can cause your loved one to be allergic, than to cross out all your efforts. Don’t forget about flirting. It can be used to seduce the husband himself, as well as for a lover or a new boyfriend. A playful mood is very good for both partners, as one adds zest to the relationship, and the other supports it. If you behave the right way in terms of how to seduce a guy, then he will have nothing else on his mind, except for the frantic desire for sex.
If you want sex, make it clear to your chosen one that he will be good with you in bed. Intrigue him, arouse passion in him, let him just look at you and read your thoughts and desires in the eyes. And as soon as in his gaze there is the desired: “I want you!”, Then you are on the right path, then sex is guaranteed.
Every woman has her own seduction secrets, which are difficult for men to resist. The main thing is to choose a good partner for sex, then you can use all your secret methods. And then both of you will justify all your and his hopes. And then he will break into a cake, but he will find the answer to the question of how to bring a woman to an orgasm, and an enchanting one.
90,000 How to bring a girl to orgasm: tips
Ways to bring a girl to a bright orgasm
Theoretically, many men know how to bring a girl to orgasm, but this knowledge does not always help them in practice to really please the lady. So, what do you need to know about the peculiarities of female physiology and psychology in order to bring your partner to orgasm?
The first and main point is to help the woman completely relax and not be afraid of anything. And what can a woman be afraid of, you ask, if you have been having sex with her for more than one month, or even a year? Do not forget that many women are quite secretive (which is why, in fact, they suffer) and may not tell their partner the truth.For example, the truth that sex actually brings them more painful sensations than pleasure. Painful sensations, most often, arise from a lack of natural lubrication. The reasons for this may be in the “head” of a woman, and have a completely natural physiological explanation. For example, much less lubrication is produced after childbirth, especially in those months when a lady is breastfeeding. And in this case, you cannot do without a long foreplay and special lubricant, which can be purchased at the pharmacy.
In addition, no woman can completely relax, which means she can get an orgasm if she is worried about something. Whether it’s a lack of reliable contraception or a recent, serious argument with your mother. A man can do everything to bring a girl to orgasm, and fail precisely because of the psychological discomfort of his partner.
And a little more theory. There are two types of female orgasm. The first occurs when the clitoris is stimulated, the second is the anterior vaginal wall. Moreover, the first is much easier to achieve, it is more common in young, nulliparous girls.If you are looking for a way to bring a girl to a jet orgasm, then all you need is to learn how to control your fingers, that is, to stimulate the clitoris with them, or lips and tongue. Very quickly, the girl will reach the highest point of pleasure if the clitoris is stimulated during intercourse. This can be done “manually” in the case of side poses or “man behind”. And in the missionary position, at a certain angle of penetration, the clitoris will be stimulated by the man’s pubic bone.
Vaginal orgasm is more typical for experienced, mature women with high libido and the same experienced partners who know where and in what positions it is easiest to stimulate the so-called G-spot in the partner’s vagina.
Try, experiment, communicate openly with your woman and listen to her requests, and then you will never be faced with the problem of simulating an orgasm of your partner.
How to bring a woman to orgasm with your fingers
The ability to please a girl with just her fingers has never bothered anyone, especially if she loves your touch below the navel. So, here are 7 tips on how to send your chosen one to the seventh heaven in 7 moves:
Watch your nails
Long, dirty and unsmiled nails can be painful, so keep your hands well-groomed.
Run circles on the clitoris
The clitoris is the most sensitive area on a woman’s body, so be prepared to use two fingers (index and middle finger) to stimulate it gently and gently. By now, your girlfriend should be horny enough that her clitoris will be slightly swollen.
Increase speed gradually. Be careful not to lose concentration and rhythm, or start moving too roughly or too quickly.
Penetrate it with your middle finger
If a woman wants you to enter her, insert a finger into her, then pull it out like a penis.Build up your pace if she likes the thrusts. The ideal position for you is kneeling in front of her vagina, this gives you complete control over the actions.
Find her G-spot with your index and middle fingers
Find the G-spot by raising your hand, palm up and making a “come here” motion with your middle and index fingers.
The G-spot is located about 5-7 cm from the entrance to the vagina, on its front wall. This area has coarser, ribbed skin.Imagine trying to touch the inside of her navel and find this sensitive area. Start out slowly, gently, and then accelerate.
Move your index and middle fingers down and run inside again
Make sure your fingers are wet and then down the clitoris to her vagina and back out again.
Use the other hand
You can use your free hand to stimulate her vagina or G-spot while fondling her clitoris.When using two hands, try stroking and penetrating at different rhythms. Keep the pace steady and don’t worry about speed unless it asks you to.
Don’t shock her
There is only one rule about anal stimulation – no surprises! If your woman is ready to experiment, use her pinky to FULLY penetrate her anus. Simultaneously with this action, continue to caress her vagina.
How to bring a woman to orgasm if there is little experience
An experienced lover gives advice on how to bring a girl to orgasm and not show that you have little experience.Ways to make a girl cum during sex in different positions and at different speeds.
How to bring a girl to orgasm
Is a relationship without sex possible? Maybe yes. But is it possible to call such a relationship full-fledged – hardly. I do not exclude that there are happy couples who, for one reason or another, do not have sex at all or keep it to a minimum. The reasons are different. Some have suffered physiological or spiritual trauma; others do not have sex for religious or ideological reasons.
But most ordinary people do have sex. And it’s good that sex brings joy to a good ending. How to achieve orgasm for both? Why doesn’t the woman cum? Let’s try to figure it out today.
Types of Female Orgasm
Do you know what a vagina is? This is the inner space of the female genital organs. This is where the male penis is placed during sex. So, the girl experiences a vaginal orgasm from the movements of the penis inside the vagina.The thicker and harder the penis, the more likely it is to achieve such an orgasm. However, this type of orgasm is very rare and should not be chased. There are several other types of supreme pleasure for women.
The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a girl. Some women do not even allow to touch him, because they experience feelings that are not on the verge of pleasant and unpleasant. However, according to statistics, it is the clitoral orgasm that is most common in girls.Most often, it affects girls who, before entering into permanent sexual relations with males, often masturbated. They already know with what force it is necessary to stimulate this point and what are the nuances.
You can stimulate the clitoris with your penis, your tongue and even your fingers. This female orgasm is the easiest and easiest to achieve.
If speaking about vaginal orgasm, I mentioned the thickness of the penis, then with the uterine one, its length is already important.Only a long enough penis is able to reach the cervix and stimulate it. This type of female orgasm is quite rare. Most likely this is due to the small size of the partner’s penis. If the guy and the girl are lucky and he turns out to be the owner of a long hard penis, then a uterine orgasm is guaranteed to her.
Stimulation of the “G” -point
Only a lazy one has not heard about this magic point. Where is she and how can I find her? Read about this in another article because the issue is rather controversial.But if your girlfriend claims that with a previous partner she experienced an orgasm while stimulating the Ji-point, then you can. There is no magic here. Only the woman’s posture during sex is important. Most often, the D-point gets under the pressure of the penis if the girl lies on her back, and a small pillow is placed under her back.
It is no longer fashionable to call girls who do not experience an orgasm as frigid. Such girls claim that they enjoy kisses on the neck, for example.Can such pleasure be called an orgasm? Personally, I strongly doubt it. But do not worry about this. If this suits you and your girlfriend, then accept and live with the fact that she has an extragenital orgasm. But in fact, you need to remember that most likely you have an individual incompatibility and with another partner she will most likely finish and get a female orgasm.
I had one partner who peeed with urine during orgasm. Is it bad? Unlikely. She still had an orgasm and it was clearly visible.There was only one drawback. Before she felt that she was about to finish, she had to go with her to the bath. Everything happened there so as not to stain the bed. She could experience such orgasms up to 10 times in one sex.
We bring the girl to orgasm
Most likely your partner knows in what position she likes to have sex best and how to bring her to orgasm. But if you are reading this article, then probably the relationship has not yet reached the stage when you can ask such a question.Therefore, you need to take all measures to look like an experienced lover. Perhaps she will even experience new feelings with you. And then, believe me, you can’t get rid of this woman anymore. If she experiences an incredible orgasm with you, which she did not have with any partner before you, then she will forgive you any things. She can even forgive your betrayal, although she will not forget. And he will remember the betrayal all his life. But she will not be able to leave you, because she knows that only you, having come in the evening, will be able to give her what others could not.And this is a huge rarity.
First of all, we start sex with foreplay. It is clear that you are already ready for penetration. But experience suggests that a girl should not only moisturize, but also psychologically tune in to sex. I often met in my practice, when a girl already from the first kisses on the neck becomes all wet below. And I immediately started having sex. However, with age, I realized that it was a rush. You need to stay on the caresses for at least 5 minutes. But no longer than 10, because this is already turning into a massage.not sex. The girl relaxes too much and stops wanting sex. She just feels good from the massage and now she yawns and falls asleep. Know the golden mean.
After the foreplay, start the process itself. It is best to wet the head of the penis, because if during penetration it turns out that her lubrication is not enough and she experiences pain, then you can forget about the female orgasm that evening. And I hope you don’t need to be reminded to wash your dignity before having sex. So that from a dignity and a tool for conquering girls, your penis does not turn into a smelly and unpleasant penis.You yourself understand that if there is an unpleasant smell, then you need to get rid of it. And chew the gum.
And now you are having sex. Climb higher than usual. The shaft of the penis should rub against her clitoris. Of course, in such a position, it will not work to insert a penis to the full depth, but you will have time to do this after her orgasm. To reach it faster, you need to act on the clitoris. This is the most frequent orgasm, so we do it right away. If she hints that you go down, then most likely she has a simple vaginal or even uterine orgasm.Then just go as deep as you can.
And here’s the main advice. Some girls reach orgasm with prolonged and monotonous movements. Of course, this is not very interesting, but then you will have to move at the same speed. Other women like it more when you speed up and slow down. Here do not forget to wipe the penis from her lubricant, if there is too much of it and the movements are almost not felt.
You can also give a woman the opportunity to have her own orgasm. There are poses in which she herself can be active.For example, a rider or from behind. For some people, no matter how hard you try, but she achieves the cherished goal only when she herself is from above. Some do not even want to look at their partner at this moment. Yes. There are also such.
All these tips will definitely help you in getting a female orgasm. And what to do next is up to you. If I forgot to mention something, write in the comments.
Date of publication of the article: May 12, 2017 at 21:52
Last updated: March 28, 2021 at 14:43