How can you create the perfect environment for intimacy. What techniques can prolong and intensify female orgasms. Which communication strategies enhance sexual experiences. How do multiple stimulation methods contribute to longer climaxes. What role does relaxation play in achieving intense orgasms.

Setting the Stage for Sensual Bliss

Creating the right atmosphere is crucial for a memorable intimate experience. A relaxed, comfortable environment allows partners to focus fully on pleasure and connection. Consider these tips to set the mood:

• Dim the lights and light some candles for a soft, romantic ambiance
• Play soothing background music to ease tension
• Ensure the room temperature is comfortable
• Use high-quality sheets and bedding for a luxurious feel
• Remove potential distractions like phones or clutter

Taking time to create an inviting space shows thoughtfulness and builds anticipation. It allows both partners to transition from daily stresses into a more sensual mindset.

The Power of Sensual Communication

Open, honest communication is the foundation of a fulfilling intimate relationship. Expressing desires, boundaries, and feedback enhances the experience for both partners. Consider these communication strategies:

• Share fantasies and desires beforehand to build excitement
• Use encouraging words and sounds during intimacy
• Give specific compliments about your partner’s body and actions
• Ask for guidance on pressure, speed, or techniques
• Express gratitude and appreciation afterwards

Effective communication creates a safe space for exploration and deepens emotional connection. It allows partners to tailor the experience to each other’s preferences.

Mastering the Art of Foreplay

Foreplay is essential for building arousal and preparing the body for intense pleasure. Taking time to explore and tease can significantly enhance the final climax. Try these foreplay techniques:

• Start with gentle caresses and kisses all over the body
• Focus on erogenous zones like the neck, inner thighs, and lower back
• Use various textures like feathers or silk for sensory play
• Incorporate massage to relax muscles and increase blood flow
• Engage in passionate kissing to build intimacy

Extended foreplay increases arousal, lubrication, and sensitivity. This heightened state of excitement can lead to more intense and prolonged orgasms.

The Clitoris: Key to Female Pleasure

Understanding and properly stimulating the clitoris is crucial for female orgasms. This highly sensitive organ has thousands of nerve endings and is central to sexual pleasure. Here are some tips for clitoral stimulation:

• Start with gentle, indirect touches and gradually increase pressure
• Experiment with different motions: circular, up-and-down, side-to-side
• Use lubrication to reduce friction and enhance sensation
• Try various techniques like tapping, flicking, or sucking
• Pay attention to your partner’s responses and adjust accordingly

Remember that every woman is unique in her preferences for clitoral stimulation. Encourage open communication to discover what works best for your partner.

Exploring the G-Spot for Deeper Pleasure

The G-spot, located on the front wall of the vagina, can provide intense sensations when stimulated properly. While not all women find G-spot stimulation pleasurable, for many it can lead to powerful orgasms. Here’s how to locate and stimulate the G-spot:

1. Insert one or two fingers into the vagina, curling them upwards towards the belly button
2. Feel for a slightly rough or ridged area about 2-3 inches inside
3. Use a “come hither” motion to stimulate the area
4. Gradually increase pressure and speed based on your partner’s response
5. Combine G-spot stimulation with clitoral touch for enhanced pleasure

Remember that G-spot sensitivity varies among women. Some may need firm pressure, while others prefer a gentler touch. Always communicate and adjust based on your partner’s feedback.

The Edging Technique for Prolonged Pleasure

Edging, or orgasm control, is a technique that involves bringing a partner close to orgasm repeatedly before allowing release. This method can result in more intense, longer-lasting orgasms. Here’s how to practice edging:

1. Stimulate your partner until they’re close to orgasm
2. Slow down or stop stimulation just before the point of no return
3. Allow arousal to subside slightly before resuming stimulation
4. Repeat this process several times, gradually building intensity
5. Finally, allow your partner to reach orgasm after multiple “edges”

Edging requires patience and communication. It can significantly enhance pleasure and help partners develop greater bodily awareness and control.

Incorporating Sex Toys for Enhanced Stimulation

Sex toys can be valuable tools for exploring new sensations and achieving more intense orgasms. They can provide consistent stimulation and reach areas that may be difficult to access manually. Consider these popular options:

• Vibrators for clitoral or internal stimulation
• Dildos for penetration and G-spot massage
• Cock rings to enhance male erections and provide clitoral stimulation
• Anal toys for exploring new erogenous zones
• Nipple clamps or feathers for sensory play

When introducing sex toys, start slowly and communicate openly about comfort levels and preferences. Clean toys thoroughly before and after use to maintain hygiene.

The Role of Breathing in Sexual Pleasure

Proper breathing techniques can significantly enhance sexual experiences and intensify orgasms. Focused breathing helps relax the body, increase sensation, and prolong pleasure. Try these breathing exercises:

• Practice deep, slow breaths to calm nerves and increase presence
• Synchronize breathing with your partner to create intimacy
• Use quick, shallow breaths to build excitement during arousal
• Hold breath briefly at the peak of pleasure to intensify sensations
• Exhale slowly and fully during orgasm to extend the experience

Experimenting with different breathing patterns can lead to new levels of pleasure and connection during intimate moments.

The Importance of Aftercare

Aftercare is an often overlooked but crucial aspect of sexual experiences, especially intense ones. It involves nurturing and comforting your partner after intimacy. Proper aftercare can strengthen emotional bonds and enhance overall satisfaction. Consider these aftercare practices:

• Cuddle and maintain physical contact
• Offer water or a light snack
• Provide gentle massage or caresses
• Express appreciation and affection
• Discuss the experience and any emotions that arose

Taking time for aftercare shows consideration for your partner’s physical and emotional needs, fostering trust and deepening your connection.

Exploring Tantric Techniques for Spiritual Connection

Tantra is an ancient practice that combines spirituality with sexuality, aiming to create a deeper connection between partners. While mastering Tantra takes time, incorporating some basic principles can enhance intimacy and lead to more profound orgasmic experiences. Here are some Tantric-inspired techniques to try:

• Practice eye gazing to build intimacy and connection
• Engage in synchronized breathing exercises
• Focus on the journey of pleasure rather than the destination
• Explore full-body sensations beyond just genital stimulation
• Incorporate meditation or mindfulness into your intimate practice

Tantric techniques can help partners develop a more holistic and spiritually fulfilling approach to sexuality, potentially leading to more intense and meaningful orgasmic experiences.

The Impact of Diet and Exercise on Sexual Performance

A healthy lifestyle can significantly impact sexual function and pleasure. Proper nutrition and regular exercise contribute to improved stamina, blood flow, and overall sexual health. Consider these lifestyle factors:

• Eat a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins
• Stay hydrated to support natural lubrication and stamina
• Engage in regular cardiovascular exercise to improve circulation
• Practice Kegel exercises to strengthen pelvic floor muscles
• Limit alcohol and avoid smoking to enhance sexual function

By prioritizing overall health and wellness, partners can experience improved sexual performance and more intense orgasms.

Overcoming Performance Anxiety for Better Intimacy

Performance anxiety can significantly impact sexual experiences, making it difficult to fully relax and enjoy intimacy. Addressing these concerns can lead to more fulfilling and intense sexual encounters. Here are some strategies to overcome performance anxiety:

• Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present in the moment
• Communicate openly with your partner about concerns and insecurities
• Focus on pleasure and connection rather than performance
• Engage in non-sexual physical intimacy to build comfort
• Consider seeking professional help if anxiety persists

By addressing performance anxiety, partners can create a more relaxed and enjoyable intimate environment, potentially leading to more intense and satisfying orgasms.

Exploring Role-Play and Fantasy for Enhanced Arousal

Incorporating role-play and fantasy into your intimate life can significantly increase arousal and lead to more intense orgasms. By tapping into imagination and desires, partners can create exciting new experiences. Consider these ideas:

• Discuss fantasies openly and non-judgmentally with your partner
• Start with simple scenarios and gradually explore more complex ones
• Use costumes or props to enhance the experience
• Create a safe word to ensure comfort and boundaries
• Be willing to laugh and have fun with the process

Remember that the goal of role-play and fantasy is to enhance pleasure and connection. It’s okay to feel a bit silly at first – embrace the playfulness of the experience.

The Role of Emotional Intimacy in Sexual Satisfaction

While physical techniques are important, emotional intimacy plays a crucial role in sexual satisfaction and orgasm intensity. Deepening emotional connection can lead to more fulfilling and intense sexual experiences. Consider these ways to enhance emotional intimacy:

• Practice active listening and empathy in daily life
• Share vulnerable thoughts and feelings with your partner
• Engage in non-sexual physical affection regularly
• Express gratitude and appreciation for your partner
• Create shared goals and experiences outside the bedroom

By nurturing emotional intimacy, partners can create a strong foundation of trust and connection, potentially leading to more intense and meaningful orgasmic experiences.

Understanding and Respecting Sexual Boundaries

Respecting sexual boundaries is essential for creating a safe and pleasurable intimate environment. Clear communication about limits and desires allows both partners to fully relax and enjoy the experience. Here are some tips for establishing and respecting boundaries:

• Have open discussions about comfort levels and hard limits
• Use a system like the traffic light method (green, yellow, red) during intimacy
• Regularly check in with your partner during sexual activities
• Respect “no” without question or pressure
• Be willing to adjust or stop activities if discomfort arises

By prioritizing consent and respecting boundaries, partners can build trust and create a space where both feel safe to explore and experience intense pleasure.

6 tips to give her a 60-second orgasm

When it comes to enjoying your sex life, giving her an orgasm is absolutely necessary, but what’s best is if it lasts for one full minute.

Yes, the 60-second climax really exists, according to Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., author of Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.

It’s not typical—the female orgasm usually lasts 6 to 30 seconds. But if her mood and your moves are right, her climax can keep going, says Nagoski to MensHealth.

Make it happen with these six easy strategies:

• Give your bedroom a hotel room looks:

If she is relaxed and her focus is on pleasure then she will easily get orgasm. The more you turn her on the better are the chances of her having a long and intense climax. Start you session by setting her mood.

If she’s keyed up after a stressful day, give her a back massage to ease her into a more laid-back state. Turn off your cell phones, lock your doors, hit the lights, and put on the slow jams: Music and candlelight will help calm her central nervous system, says licensed marriage and sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. to Menshealth.

If she feels less about herself, she will never enjoy you making love to her. Insecurity often distracts her and hence she isn’t able to experience the pleasure.

But if you make her feel that she is smoking hot and she can easily turn you on. She will be more aroused and her focus will be on your amazing sex session. This can help her experience deeper orgasms.

Be expressive, show her what she does to you: Pull her towards you and tell her how beautiful you think her body is, how you keep thinking about running your hand through her smooth skin. How you want to kiss her and caress her body.

When she strips for you, stare at her and just a “wow” from you will drive her crazy.

Sometimes talking dirty does half of the work, doing so keeps her attention focused on what’s about to come next. If you know what turns her on, speak that.

Otherwise, you can start by telling her how you like the feel of her naked skin against your, the warmth of it. How you love making her wet. At times be dominating in bed, she likes it. Command her about what to do, some women love it.

Bringing her to the brink of orgasm repeatedly will cause her arousal to spread throughout her body—resulting in a bigger, longer climax when she finally peaks, says Nagoski.

If you know oral does the work, go down. Start your work gently and be slow, see how she responses and as she gets close to orgasm, she will begin panting faster and you may be able to feel growing tension in her abs, thighs, and butt.

Experts say to MensHealth, that when you notice those signs, dial your speed and pressure back. Her breathing should slow. Then coax her back up to the brink, and slow it down again. Oscillate back and forth five times if you can, bringing her closer to the peak each time. Then let her have her big finish.

At times working multiple sex acts into one session can help prolong orgasm. This is because variation in what you do creates more intense environment. Start with oral, explore all her erogenous territories: her nipples, clitoris, vagina, G-spot, and even her anus if she’s into it.

When you both are ready for penetration, let her come on top of you. Let her ride you. Rubbing her clitoris as she rides you will be a bonus.

When some women are on the brink of orgasm, their clitorises become very sensitive. If that’s the case, stimulating her more gently may help her maintain her climax for longer, says Van Kirk.

Before you back off, find out if she wants you to ease up or not, ask her softly kissing her earlobe, if she likes it hard or gentle. Or simple ask her to direct you.

…

Give Her an Orgasm in 15 Minutes

Let’s face it — women talk. But gaining yourself a sexual reputation for the ages doesn’t have to involve six hours of Tantric foreplay. With our help (and hers, of course) you can get your girl to orgasm in a mere 15 minutes. Seriously.

Sure, mastering the art of the 15-minute orgasm isn’t easy, it will turn the pre-work fumble or half-time quickie into an explosion that she’s still feeling two hours later. Don’t believe that it can be done? Well, research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that the average time it takes women to orgasm was 13.41 minutes, so any longer and you really aren’t doing it right.

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But why rush? Just because you can get your girl to orgasm in less time than a Netflix hit, doesn’t necessarily mean you should, right?

Wrong. Another study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, which asked sex therapists how long sex should last, found that while sex that lasted between ten and 30 minutes was ‘too long’, the ideal sexual duration was between 7 to 13 minutes, so by our reckoning that still leaves you with 2 minutes to come once your lady has been pleasured.

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Oh!-minus 15 Minutes: Your Orgasm Guide

Mouth to Mouth

The first three minutes of your 15 should be spent kissing your partner. Studies by Lafayette College in the US found that kissing reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, quickening the time it takes to turn you both on. As you pay lip service, tilt your head to the right – scientists in Germany found this makes you seem more caring, flooding her system with the ‘connection’ chemical oxytocin, building trust and encouraging her to come quickly.

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Make sure you’re not just kissing her mouth, though. William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing, surveyed 50,000 women and 96 per cent picked a peck on the neck as the perfect warm up. But don’t overdo it, Cane says. “Slide off the lips to her neck occasionally so that her neck doesn’t become desensitised.”

Now you need to get co-ordinated. Each time you kiss her neck, remove an item of her clothes. Getting her clothes off is important for obvious reasons, but it will also let you resolve any body-confidence issues early. A study by the University of Cincinnati revealed that if your girl feels good when she’s naked, she’ll come sooner. “Compliment your partner on each part of her body as you undress it,” says psychotherapist Christine Webber. “Your approval will dramatically reduce her self consciousness.” And in just 180 seconds, you’ll have an animal on your hands.

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Oh!-minus 12 Minutes

Tease

She’s almost naked now but keep her underwear on for another minute or so. “Stroke and caress her through the fabric rather than going for gold,” says sex therapist Paula Hall. “Focus on building anticipation rather than going straight for direct stimulation.” Feeling that time is short prevents a woman from reaching orgasm, adds Webber. Act like you’ve got forever, but then peel off her underwear and use Durex’s new strawberry-scented Intimate Lube. This will get her excited, and make her more sensitive.

Research at the US Association for Chemical Reception Sciences found the scent of strawberries alerts the senses. Move your fingers in slow, circular motions just inside her vagina. “Many women need attention focused on the outer third of the vaginal canal, where the G-spot, the clitoris, and the PS-spot (opposite the G-spot) can be reached,” says Emma Taylor of the sex blog emandlo.com.

Oh!-minus 10 Minutes

Flex Your Other Love Muscle

According to sexologists at the Masters & Johnson Institute, cunnilingus is the most reliable route to orgasm for 80 per cent of women. Lou Paget, author of The Big O (Piatkus), recommends the Kivin Method as the fastest way of getting there. “With one hand, pull up her clitoral hood,” he says. “Then lick from side to side across its base, just above her clitoris.” Place one finger of the other hand on her perineum (the area directly below the opening of her vagina). When you can feel her pre-orgasmic contractions, you’ll know you’re in the right place.

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Oh!-minus 7 Minutes

Entrance Exam

Orgasms are not all about foreplay. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that the consistency of orgasms is more about the length of intercourse than the length of foreplay. And another study in the same journal clocked her average climax seven minutes after penetration. That makes now the ideal time to start the final leg of her leg trembler.

Simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation is far and away the fastest route to orgasm

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But what position? “Avoid deep, thrusting, and instead try the Coital Alignment Technique,” says Taylor. To do it, start in the classic missionary then pull back so the base of your penis rests on her clitoris. Brace your feet against the foot of the bed and rock backwards and forwards rather than thrusting. Your penis gently massages her clitoris, which is great for her but also gives you slow, pulsating sensations that you control.

An alternative technique is sensory overload. “Simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation is far and away the fastest route to orgasm,” says Hall. Having her from behind is the best position for this because while you work the former, you can call up sex toy reinforcements to take care of the latter.

Oh!-minus 1 Minute

Keep up the Good Work

By now, your girl should be clawing at the sheets, but don’t be mistaken in thinking you need one final trick to clinch the result. “Women hate too much chopping and changing of techniques,” says Dr Joni Frater, co-author of Love Her Right (Booksurge). “It distracts us, and takes our arousal back to the starting blocks. ” You don’t really want to start over just before you reach the finish, do you?

“When you start doing something that causes a positive response, keep doing it, at exactly the same speed and pressure.” Save your new technique for next time. Since you’ve just orchestrated a 15-minute orgasm with shuttle-launch precision, that’s something she’ll be demanding very soon.

So grab a breather and prepare for take-off… again.

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Women Reveal What It Takes To Make Them Come

Stocksy

Female orgasms are a mystery to many — even women themselves who aren’t having them and don’t know how to. In this week’s Sex Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with four anonymous twentysomething women about their experiences with making themselves come and helping the men they sleep with figure it out. 

How old are you?

Woman A: 27. 

Woman B: 24. 

Woman C: 20.

Woman D: 25.

How old were you when you first had sex?

Woman A: 15.  

Woman B: 17. 

Woman C: 17. 

Woman D: 17. 

How old were you when you first had an orgasm? 

Woman A: 15. I didn’t have an orgasm the first time I had sex though. My partner at the time helped me climax eventually through oral sex. He was a bit older than me and was not a virgin, but very gentle and made sure I was comfortable. 

Woman B: 20. I think I was finally able to come because of who I was with and how much more comfortable I was with him than with anyone previously. Plus, we tried new positions and I was just more experienced in general by then.

Woman C: 17. I actually didn’t come the first time I had sex. I’d only had an orgasm via masturbating before I’d had sex with anyone.  

Woman D: 18. My first orgasm happened while I was masturbating, using a vibrator. I wasn’t able to come the first time I had sex though. 

What percentage of the time you’re getting intimate do you have an orgasm?

Woman A: About 90 percent.

Woman B: 43 percent.

Woman C: I always orgasm while masturbating, but if I’m having sex with men, I have an orgasm maybe 5 percent of the time. It’s extremely rare that I have an orgasm with a male partner. If I’m having sex with a woman, I probably orgasm about 30 percent of the time.

Woman D: During partner sex I orgasm about 10 percent of the time. While masturbating, it’s about 95 percent of the time.

Is it easier for you to have an orgasm while masturbating, during oral sex, or during penetrative sex?  

Woman A: If I had to rank them, it’s easiest for me to come via masturbation, followed by oral sex, and then penetrative sex. It’s all relative though since I almost never have an issue achieving an orgasm. When it comes to masturbation, I can achieve multiple orgasms within a very short period of time because I do it so often. Oral sex is great, but it’s far better if I am on top. Penetrative sex is also very enjoyable and I can almost always orgasm if I am on top. With certain positions, such as doggy style with clitoral stimulation, I can achieve both an internal and external orgasm. Those are great, but after that I am usually ready to cuddle and nap. 

Woman B: It’s much easier for me to have an orgasm while masturbating with a vibrator. I also orgasm about 90 percent of the time with oral sex, but the best orgasms come from intercourse with me on top.

Woman C: It’s definitely easier for me to come while masturbating. I know my own body really well and it’s easier to respond to my own needs than tell another person what they are.  

Woman D: It’s about 1000 times easier for me to orgasm during masturbation. I’ve never orgasmed strictly from penetration, even though guys seemed to think I would. I adore really good oral sex, especially when they put their fingers inside me as well. However, I have a really hard time reaching orgasm just from oral because I feel like it takes me too long, and I start to feel bad that my partner is working so hard for so long. I also usually squirt when it’s really good and I worry about my partner’s well-being when I’m squirting in their face.  

Have you ever had multiple orgasms?

Woman A: Yes. During solo play I can have about five orgasms in ten minutes. 

Woman B: Yes, with oral sex as foreplay, then intercourse after. 

Woman C: Yes, usually whenever I masturbate, but like I said, it’s even more likely to happen when I’m using a vibrator.

Woman D: I’m not sure, so I guess I haven’t. 

Have you ever had nipple-only orgasms?

Woman A: Sort of. I was on top of my boyfriend and we weren’t grinding, but there was the gentle pressure from his package. He was using his hands to stimulate my nipples and I had one of the best orgasms. 

Woman B: Yes, I have. Sometimes my guy bites my nipples and licks them and I’ll have an orgasm, but it doesn’t feel as great as a regular orgasm. 

Woman C: No, I really don’t think my nipples are sensitive enough for that to happen. 

Woman D: Nipple play doesn’t really do much for me, so I’ve never had a nipple-only orgasm, sadly.

Do you feel comfortable giving guys tips to help you have an orgasm? 

Woman A: Yes, I do. Usually, they are completely up for being taught. I did have one partner that was slightly discouraged when I tried to give him advice. Fortunately, after I explained that it wasn’t so much about him doing something wrong as much as it was about what I liked we were in sync. 

Woman B: I usually have no problem telling guys what helps me orgasm, because I usually date them for a while and am comfortable with them before we have sex. They’ve all been completely fine with it. 

Woman C: Depends on who I’m with. I find that it’s a lot easier to tell women what you’d like them to do because they tend to be a lot more understanding. Guys will sometimes get offended or hurt. My current partner is super great about this because he always listens to whatever I tell him.

Woman D: While I was single, I had no problem giving the guys I was hooking up with a little direction in terms of where to go and what to do. I think it’s much easier for a man to take sex advice once you’ve been having sex with them regularly, instead of just that one time. When I’ve tried to give a one night stand a little advice they seemed to take it as an insult to their sexual abilities. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 3.5 years now and we’ve also had some general conversations about what gets me off. That was helpful.

Do sex toys help your chances of orgasm? Which ones are most useful?

Woman A: They definitely help me to orgasm more quickly. I prefer the little eggs or silver bullets for clitoral stimulation. I’ve tried those rabbit-style vibrators that penetrated and had clitoral stimulation, but they were awkward to use and I ended up just using the clitoral stimulator part. 

Woman B: I’m way more likely to have an orgasm if I use them. I usually just use a vibrator.  

Woman C: Yes, I’m definitely more likely to have an orgasm with a vibrator when I masturbate. I can orgasm using my fingers too, but I’m more likely to have multiple orgasms if I’m using a vibrator. I use a small $6 bullet vibrator that I got off of Amazon. 

Woman D: I really enjoy powerful bullet-type vibrators and they definitely make it easier to come. I’ve also tried rabbit vibrators, but I don’t think there’s enough clitoral stimulation in those. 

Have you ever tried using that toy with a partner? 

Woman A: I’ve only done that one time and we just played with the bullet toy after having a few drinks. It was fun for both of us, though I think I remember him saying that the vibration was weird for him and he wasn’t a fan. We had a great sex life without adding anything else to it so we never tried that again.  

Woman B: I have tried it with boyfriends and they all really liked being able to watch me orgasm from the vibrator. We’d usually also have sex after. 

Woman C: Yes, but my current partner prefers not to use it. I think he finds it insulting and emasculating. Female partners are generally much more accepting about using toys in bed, usually because they understand how difficult it can be to orgasm. 

Woman D: My boyfriend is fully aware of the vibrators I own, but I don’t incorporate them into sex. I know it would hurt his feelings and I’d rather experience the physical closeness of sex with another human being and not get off than getting off with a vibrator alone.

What else have you tried to orgasm better or more frequently? 

Woman A: Sometimes I’ll raise and slightly release my pelvic floor during an orgasm, which definitely intensifies the experience! It also works really well during solo or oral play. Also, I found that squeezing my inner thigh muscles really intensifies the experience. 

Woman B: I almost always have to be on top to orgasm and my guy has to be pretty deep inside me, but I found I come more easily when he pushes into me from underneath and is leaning back on his elbows.

Woman C: Buying a vibrator was really all I needed. That helped a lot. 

Woman D: I’m very quick to tell my partner when a certain position feels better than another. I also take note of what previous partners have done that worked well for me and tell my current partners to try that. 

What do you do when a guy can’t give you an orgasm?

Woman A: I think it’s OK if he can’t give me an orgasm in the beginning because we’re just getting to know each other, but after that it needs to be addressed. If we’re just messing around, I will gently guide his hand to the right spot or simply verbalize what I’d like for him to do. I’ll usually say “try this” or “go up or down” or “to the left/right.” If it is during sex, I’ll say “go slower/faster” or “hold me here” and guide his hands. Other times I’ll ask if I can be in a certain position, like asking to be on top. 

Woman B: During foreplay I tell them to slow down, and not just pound into me. I tell them to go deeper and pay attention to the clitoris. Sometimes I’ll put my hand down there with them and direct them. If they are going down on me I will gently direct their head where to go. Guys like when women are able to orgasm, so they’re open to the advice.

Woman C: Sometimes I just don’t bother telling them at all. I don’t feel like orgasms should be the end goal to sex all the time. Sometimes it’s nice to just be with your partner and make them feel good.

Woman D: To be honest, I’m a big advocate of faking it. I don’t usually fake it to get things over with, though I definitely have done that a few times. I usually just fake it when I feel like my partner deserves to feel like they got me off.

Have you ever squirted?

Woman A: I don’t know if this was squirting, but one time I experienced a lot of liquid coming from my vagina that was more than the usual discharge. I knew I hadn’t had a bladder accident because I knew that wasn’t where the liquid was coming from. 

Woman B: No.

Woman C: Yes, usually after multiple orgasms.

Woman D: I squirt almost every time I masturbate. I actually have to put a towel underneath me. It’s usually only if I’m using a powerful vibrator. Squirting isn’t necessarily synonymous with orgasm though. Sometimes it happens before, sometimes not ’til afterwards. It’s only happened to me once while I was having partner sex and it was significantly less satisfying with someone else there. 

Do you have any fears about squirting?

Woman A: Nope. 

Woman B: Yes, I don’t know if I find it very sexy.

Woman C: Not really. 

Woman D: I honestly find it terrifying and slightly embarrassing. Although it happens often, I still worry every time that I peed instead of squirted. It’s so much more satisfying to orgasm while squirting, but it’s just so messy.

Have you ever done kegels? Do you feel like they changed anything?

Woman A: Yes, I do them all the time.  They definitely intensify my orgasms. 

Woman B: Yes, I feel like they strengthen your sex muscles, and when I do them during sex it makes it feel really good for my guy.

Woman C: No, I haven’t. 

Woman D: I do kegels pretty often. I don’t believe you become loose from being with a bunch of partners, but it’s also fun to be able to tighten up while someone’s inside of you. The reactions are pure gold.

What do you wish you’d known sooner about your ability to have orgasms?

Woman A: Nothing in particular. I remember having an orgasm in my sleep several times after I hit puberty, so I did some research and read up on it. I also read a lot of Cosmo.

Woman B: That you have to be comfortable and not self-conscious about your body. It’s hard to keep thinking, “OMG this is totally a bad angle. I probably look so fat and my boobs are flying around everywhere,” but that takes you out of the moment.

Woman C: That vibrators make everything better. I thought I legitimately couldn’t orgasm until I got a vibrator. Once I used one, it became possible to orgasm using just my fingers, which previously I wasn’t able to do.

Woman D: I wish I’d known that orgasms existed sooner. The first time I had one was when I was masturbating and I was terrified because everything I knew about sex up to that point had nothing to do with orgasms.

What advice would you give to people who are having trouble giving their women partners orgasms?

Woman A: Talk to her! Make her feel comfortable so she’ll open up to you. If she tells you to keep doing something, don’t go faster or slower or harder, just keep doing what you’re doing. Also, read books about female anatomy. 

Woman B: Slow down, ask what she likes and what feels good to her, and give the clitoris plenty of attention.

Woman C: Listen, and pay attention to the clitoris. Don’t get upset or hurt if you can’t get her to climax because it’s difficult for a lot of women to get there. It’s also better if you’re dating for a long time because that means you have plenty of time to learn what she prefers. 

Woman D: Listen to the women you’re with. Accept their advice and don’t feel discouraged if they give you some directions. Do not believe what you see in porn because that doesn’t really work for women. Also, during oral, don’t be afraid to really get in there and use your fingers as well. 

What advice would you give to women who are having trouble orgasming?

Woman A: You have got to explore yourself and what you like first and foremost because then you can teach your partner what you like. Also, don’t be afraid to speak to a sex therapist because they know their shit. If that doesn’t work and you are able to come by yourself but not with your partner, you might need a new partner. 

Woman B: Don’t be afraid to explore and tell your man what feels good.

Woman C: Seriously, try a vibrator. And don’t feel bad if you can’t orgasm with your partner. It’s not necessarily a shortcoming for either of you, and it creates a fun goal for next time. 

Woman D: Take your time and try to get comfortable with your partner first. That makes a huge difference. Also, I recommend that everyone masturbate as often as possible. Once you figure out what gets you off, it’s so much easier to tell your partners what you like. 

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Lane Moore
Lane Moore is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and musician based in New York City.

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the techniques that boost chances of female orgasm

The female orgasm has often been described as elusive, but researchers say they might have discovered how to boost the chances of eliciting the yes, yes, yes.

A study from a team of US researchers suggests that a combination of genital stimulation, deep kissing and oral sex is the “golden trio” for women when it comes to increasing their likelihood of reaching orgasm with a sexual partner.

Published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, a team of US researchers analysed data collected through an online survey, hosted on the NBC News website, based on responses from more than 52,000 participants aged between 18 and 65 who were in a relationship with one person.

The results shed light on a number of “orgasm gaps” – not just between the sexes, but also between individuals with different sexual orientations.

“We had the rare opportunity to look at responses from over 50,000 people, including over 2,000 gay, lesbian, and bisexual men and women,” said David Frederick, lead author of the research from Chapman University.

While 95 per cent of heterosexual men reporting that they usually or always orgasmed during sexually intimate moments, just 65 per cent of heterosexual women did. By contrast, the figure was 89 per cent for gay men, 86 per cent for lesbian women, 88 per cent for bisexual men and 66 per cent for bisexual women.

“The orgasm gaps between men and heterosexual women were well known prior to this study,” said Frederick. “The gaps between lesbian women and heterosexual women, however, were more speculative or based on small samples of lesbian women. This study highlights much more precisely that there are multiple orgasm gaps.”

The large disparities seen for women of different sexualities, the authors say, could at least in part be down to other women being more likely to take turns at inducing orgasms, and having a better understanding than men that female orgasms are not primarily associated with vaginal sex.

“About 30 per cent of men actually think that intercourse is the best way for women to have orgasm, and that is sort of a tragic figure because it couldn’t be more incorrect,” said co-author of the research Elisabeth Lloyd, a professor of biology at Indiana University and author of The Case of the Female Orgasm.

According to the research, only 35 per cent of heterosexual women always or usually orgasm during vaginal sex alone, with 44 per cent saying they rarely or never did.

By contrast, 80 per cent of heterosexual women and 91 per cent of lesbians always or usually orgasm with a combination of genital stimulation, deep kissing and oral sex – but without vaginal sex. “To say that there needs to be some education I think is an understatement,” said Prof Lloyd.

Whether it is playing music, changing sexual positions or saying “I love you”, very little appears to affect the probability that a man will orgasm. By contrast, women who said that they had done these things during their last sexual encounter were about 20 per cent more likely to also tell the researchers that they “usually” or “always” orgasmed.

But there are other possibilities, says Prof Frederick, including that women may take longer to become aroused than men, or that men desire orgasm more frequently than women. “So another question worth investigating is what percentage of women are happy with the frequency with which they orgasm,” he said.

The study also found that while 41 per cent of heterosexual men reported that their partner usually or always reached orgasm, only 33 per cent of heterosexual women said that they did.

“Part of this difference in perception could be due to women faking orgasms, which research has suggested women will do for a variety of reasons, including out of love for their partner, to protect their partner’s self-esteem, intoxication, or to bring the sexual encounter to an end,” the authors note.

Further analysis of the surveys revealed that women who frequently orgasmed were more likely to have a longer duration of sex and were more likely to have a higher relationship satisfaction, with the study also suggesting that factors such as asking for particular behaviours in bed and flirting with their partner throughout the day were linked to small but significant associations with more frequent orgasms in women.

The results, the authors say, offer couples a range of different approaches that could boost the frequency of orgasms, particularly among women.

“Women really are tremendously variable in how readily they orgasm and what makes one woman orgasm can be quite different than what makes another woman orgasm,” said Prof Frederick. “Explicit and direct communication with one’s partner is key.”

Lloyd says she hopes couples will consider the “golden trio” of behaviours for female orgasm. “I would like [women] to take that home and think about it, and to think about it with their partners and talk about it with their partners,” said Prof Lloyd. “If they are not fully experiencing their fullest sexual expression to the maximum of their ability then I think our paper has something to contribute to their wellbeing.” – (Guardian Service)

How to Give A Woman an Orgasm

You’re looking to please your female partner during sex, so you Google: “how to make a girl orgasm”.

Congratulations—you’ve just stepped into a rabbit hole of female orgasm information.

Some of what you read on other blogs may be the truth, but much of what you stumble across is going to be fiction.

It’s really no wonder guys are bumbling and fumbling in the bedroom, trying desperately to get it right and just having no luck.

In fact, studies have shown that only six percent of women always have an orgasm during sex, and the numbers have seemed to be on a decline since 1999.

Blame it on an overload of internet information, blame it on pornography, or blame it on what you will.

Fact is, if you really want to know how to give her an orgasm, you have to get your ego in check, realize there may be a lot to learn outside of “educational” porn clips, and settle in for an informative experience—don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

Why can’t I seem to find her G-Spot?

The G-spot is located just inside the front wall of the vagina and can be very difficult to find if she is not aroused. Once aroused her urethral sponge or G-Spot will become swollen as blood rushes to it making it much easier to locate.

What are the signs of female arousal?

There are several indicators that a woman is aroused ranging from increased wetness, erect nipples, dilated pupils and increased pulse. Just to name a few.

What triggers female arousal?

Sight, smell, touch, communication… the list goes on, but Promescent makes a female arousal spray that is sure to help get things started.

Can all women have a G-Spot orgasm?

Studies show that some women can find G-spot stimulation irritating. While others do not experience any pleasure from G-Spot stimulation during certain times of their monthly cycle. So, you may want to try at different times during the month to see if she is more sensitive to stimulation at different times of her cycle.

Techniques to Give Her Better Orgasms

1. Try a Delay Spray to Last Longer

About one in three men experienceprematureejaculation, and some men deal with the issue on a regular basis.

The problem is, it can take women longer to reach orgasm than men already, so premature ejaculation issues can make it even harder to help her get over the threshold when you’ve already finished.

If you consistently hit your climax point and the refractory period before she gets anywhere near the big bang, it may be wise to dry a delay spray to help you last longer in bed.

The averagepoint of climax for a femaleis more than 13 minutes.

For example, Promescent Delay Spray for Men is sprayed on the most sensitive parts of your penis just before sex to help you slow down the process just enough to put you on an even keel with your female partner.

2. Learn How to Be Better at Foreplay

Women are more likely to need a little encouragement before their body starts to respond, which means foreplay is a huge factor in delivering better orgasms and maybe even delivering orgasms at all.

Foreplay is the warm-up phase for a female. This warm-up period builds anticipation, encourages blood flow to her lady parts, and triggers natural lubrication.

And, there is a direct link between foreplay and the intensity or satisfaction with her orgasm.

So, unless she seems all about a heat-of-the-moment throwdown, don’t skip it.

Foreplay tips for men to use on a woman are relatively abundant, and even injecting just a few tricks can really make a difference in her ability to climax either before or during intercourse.

The top three tips to remember about foreplay:

1. Don’t rush it and don’t act like it’s just some obligatory act you’re being forced to do. Let her see you enjoy the process just as much as she does.
2. Start foreplay outside of the bedroom by stimulating her emotionally and mentally. Tell her how sexy she is, whisper something seductive in her ear, do something to take some stress out of her day.
3. Be gentle and start slow. Don’t just dive all in with your fingers and expect her to respond. Caress her, rub her, massage her, kiss her.

3. Mind Your Exercise and Diet

Yes, really.

BUT, if you really want to give her a better orgasm, being in shape can be a REALLY big deal. Here are a few thoughts to explain why:

• You overloaded on pizza and beer, go to bed with a bloated gut, and it makes it harder to grind against her clitoris during penetration.
• You’ve been slacking in the workout/diet department, gained some pounds, lost some strength. She wants to try a new position to help her orgasm, you’re too out of shape to oblige.
• You’ve followed a diet of caffeine and junk for weeks. She’s slow to reach orgasm and you just don’t have the stamina to get her there.

4. Get the Conversation Started and Keep On Talking

Verbalizing about sex doesn’t come naturally for everyone, but the more you can talk, exchange ideas, and give guidance in the bedroom, the more equipped you both will be to please each other.

It doesn’t hurt to ask her what she likes, what really gets her to her breaking point, and even how she gets herself off when playing solo.

You may be amazed at what you learn and just how you’ve been doing it all wrong.

Once you’ve started talking about how to give her an orgasm, keep the communication lines flowing even when you make it to the bedroom.

Don’t be afraid to:

• Ask her if she likes it when you rub her this way
• Ask her if you’re hitting her G-spot
• Ask her if she wants a new position to help her finish

All this sexy talk isn’t all about getting guidance; it can also be a highly arousing exchange for both of you.

5. Don’t Shy Away from Sex Toys

Ladies often reach for vibrators and other sex toys for some solo play, but there is nothing wrong with bringing them into the equation when it’s the two of you.

If she’s having a harder time getting there with just your stimulation alone (or if you just want to have fun), consider picking out some toys.

The sex toy lineup out there these days is all-out impressive.

Wands meant to directly hit the G-spot, strap-in-place vibrators for ongoing clitoral stimulation, and even cock rings that have fancy protruding ticklers on top that wriggle and gyrate for her C-spot—the list could go on forever.

Make a game of picking out a toy you both want to try, and give it a go. You may find all-new ways to cause afemale orgasmin the process.

6. Pick the Sexual Positions Most Apt to Encourage Orgasm

If you’re shooting to make her orgasm in a certain way, taking advantage of certain positions can really help. Check out our guide onsex positions to last longer.

For example:

• Missionary (you on top) can be good for clitoral orgasms because you can grind right against her clitoral area
• Cowgirl (her on top) can be great for G-spot orgasms but also allows her to control pressure on her clitoral area for orgasmic control there too
• Rear-Entry (doggy style) can be an awesome way to hit her G-spot

7. Use Lube for Frictionless Pleasure

When a female gets aroused, her body produces a natural lube, and she can create an abundance of it most of the time.

This lube keeps her vaginal opening and clitoris wet so there is no friction during play and intercourse and she can enjoy stimulation more and reach orgasm easier.

It is perfectly normal for the amount of natural lube for females to be lacking sometimes, so you may need a little help to deter friction at times.

Pick a high-quality lube like thispremium organic lubefrom Promescent, which is pH-balanced and safe with condoms.

The Female Anatomy and Arousal Process Explained

Basically, most women can have two types of orgasms with the proper stimulation: an internal (vaginal) orgasm that usually happens during some type of penetration and an external clitoral (C-spot) orgasm.

To better understand the female orgasm, you have to first get familiar with two hot spots of the female anatomy.

The G-spot

No doubt you’ve heard about it, you may have tried to find it, and it is a little elusive in the eyes of most men.

The G-spot is one of the most sensitive internal parts of the female anatomy and is suspected to play a role in the vaginal orgasm.

You shouldn’t feel bad if you have a hard time pinpointing the G-spot. The targeted “spot” can vary depending on the woman and her personal anatomy.

G-spot is short for the Gräfenberg spot.

Most often, the spot is located no more than four inches inside the vaginal opening. The spot is actually facing her spinal column.

You may find it by using one or two fingers, palm up, and stroking in a “come-hither” motion.

Some say the spot feels a bit like a walnut because the skin is slightly tougher and maybe a bit wrinkly. However, your biggest indicator that you’ve found it is her reaction.

In fact, she can probably do a good job of pointing you in the right direction, so don’t be afraid to ask.

The C-Spot

The C-spot is just a fancy way to refer to the clitoris, and any man learning how to give her an orgasm must get really educated about this part of the female anatomy.

The clitoris is actually a wishbone-shaped area located above the vaginal opening.

Literally, thousands of nerve-endings make up the clitoral area, and the apex of the C-spot is the tiny pearl of flesh located just under the clitoral hood.

More women actually experience a clitoral orgasm than a vaginal orgasm, and it doesn’t always happen during sexual intercourse.

A Look at Her Arousal Process and Setting the Mood

Guys are more likely to be standing at full attention and ready to roll right away. Women can need a little more encouragement.

The typical arousal process for a female usually looks something like what follows:

Desire– The desire to have sex is where it all starts. Her skin may flush, blood flow increases to her nipples and her clitoris, and her internal walls may start to produce lubrication and swell.

Arousal – Arousal is the state before orgasm. Her body is gaining sexual tension, so her muscles may become tenser, she will likely produce more lubrication, and her nipples may grow erect and her clitoris even more sensitive.

Orgasm – The peak point of arousal when the stars align, the heavens open up, and the angels sing. Okay, so physically speaking, her body is wracked with waves of pleasurable contractions, she takes in more oxygen, her blood pressure rises, and she reaches a point of release when the tension building to this point is finally released.

Resolution– Resolution is the finality, the blissful, relaxed time after an orgasm when all is right with the world. The body is enjoying those doses of oxytocin produced during orgasm and returning to normal.

Your process looks a lot the same but can happen in rapid-fire succession. She may need a little help from you to really work through the earliest stages.

Set the mood by:

• Treating her well; making her happy
• Caressing her lovingly
• Kissing her
• Lowering the lights
• Showing her you’re interested
• Expressing what you want to do to her

The Different Ways to Make Her Orgasm

With your brushed-up knowledge on her anatomy and arousal process, you are almost ready to induce female orgasm. Nevertheless, you should also know, just like you, she can have an orgasm in different ways.

Orgasm from Finger/Hand Play

Females usually use their own hands and fingers to make themselves orgasm during masturbation, and there’s no doubt you can do the same with a little guidance from her.

Using your hands and fingers to make her come gives you a little more control over the situation than during penetration, which may be necessary if she usually has a hard time getting there during sex.

Orgasm from Penetration

It is a common misconception that women should always have an orgasm during sex, but this is actually the hardest to pull off for a few reasons:

• Inducing orgasm during penetration may require a specific position
• Inducing orgasm during penetration may require simultaneous clitoral stimulation for a woman who has a harder time reaching vaginal orgasms
• Inducing orgasm during penetration can be tough for guys who can’t last as long as their female partner

If the last item on the list is your biggest issue, try a Promescent delay spray to delay your own climax.

Also, you can make use of those hands and fingers or your mouth during foreplay to get her closer to orgasm before you actually get started.

Orgasm from Oral

Oral sex is actually one of the easiest ways to make a woman orgasm, especially if you know what you’re doing. Check our guide to the venus butterfly technique.

Oral usually involves direct and indirect stimulation of her clitoris with your mouth and tongue, which can be wetter and gentler than your fingers.

Of course, you can always do a combination of oral and finger play to bring her to her release.

If you really want to heighten the potential for a mind-blowing orgasm, try the venus butterfly technique.

Takeaways

• Get familiar with her anatomy and her arousal process
• She can have more than one type of orgasm
• Orgasms do not always happen during penetration
• Every female is different; let her tell you what she likes
• Delay spray can close the “orgasm gap” between you and your partner
• Use foreplay to your advantage
• When in doubt, let her guide you

There you have it—a detailed, in-depth, truthful guide about how to make a girl orgasm.

It’s not as difficult as it can sound but definitely can be more complicated than what the movies make it.

If you’ve paid attention, she’ll likely be visiting O-Town with your help in nothing flat.

If you didn’t… well, this guide will be posted for repeat reference for the long haul.

You’ll get there. More importantly, you’ll get her there!

Related Articles

10 tips to make a woman orgasm with just your fingers

These tips will help you pleasure your woman in ways she never thought possible.

Written by Pavitra Sampath | Published : October 27, 2015 6:59 PM IST

Content suitable only for 18+ years. Parental guidance required and advised. Please exit if below 18 years of age.

The clitoris is a powerful organ. Especially if you want your lady to have a mind blowing orgasm every time you have sex, leaving her craving for a lot more. Most men think that it is the size or girth of their penis that helps a woman orgasm, but, gentlemen you are quite wrong. While we don’t say that your ‘manhood’ has nothing to do with sexual pleasure, it is important for you to realise that almost 60% women do not orgasm through penetrative sex.

Yes, the organ that helps a woman orgasm is her clitoris. A lot like the male penis, this tiny organ is hidden under a hood between a lady’s genital lips. Packed with blood vessels, the clitoris becomes erect when aroused. But unlike the penis, it can be extremely sensitive and therefore it has the hood to lower that sensation a bit. You may also like to read — Everything you need to know about the clitoris and what you can do with it.

Since the positions you would assume during penetration may not stimulate the clitoris, a good option is to use your mouth or fingers to do so and make her orgasm. Again this requires some amount of technique and finesse.

So to help you out, here are a few tips

Tip#1:Change the way you stimulate her: The come hither motion (where you bend your fingers and stroke her G-spot) is not the best way to go at it. And that it is not enough to make her orgasm. So, maybe it’s time to change things. You may also like to read about what women actually want sexually.

Tip #2:Cut your nails: Make sure you cut your nails and file them before you use them to pleasure your woman’s vagina or clitoris. The skin in that area is extremely sensitive and can easily get hurt with jagged nails.

Tip#3:Pay attention to her vagina: Her vaginal area should be well lubricated, if not, consider using a lubricant for this propose. If you go in without any lubrication, you will hurt her and that is a definite downer. You may also like to read about five kinds orgasms every woman should have.

Tip #4:Don’t just push your fingers into her vagina: Remember how we told you that women achieve an orgasm by clitoral stimulation and not penetration. So you have to spend some quality time with her clitoris to give her that orgasmic high.

Tip#5: Find the clitoris, recognise it and treat it right: Yes, this an essential tip. Touching it the right way can make for the perfect sexual romp. Do it wrong and you might not get any response. The clitoris is a small, cartilaginous structure present under a hood. This entire package is present at the point that your lady’s genital lips begin (the point where they both meet towards her belly button). You may also like read this step-by-step guide to pleasuring a woman.

Tip# 6: Be gentle: Women prefer soft and gentle motions, especially over their clitoris. Not only is it an extremely sensitive spot but being harsh can just be uncomfortable. So make sure you start off using light pressure and motion. Once you see that your partner is aroused enough, you can proceed to moving faster or even using a little more pressure. Using gentle circular motions is the best way to stimulate the clitoris. You may also like to read — Real women tell you how to give the perfect orgasm.

Tip#7: Stimulate the entire region: You can even spice things up by stimulating the entire region. Move your fingers (your index and middle finger) from her clitoris to her vaginal opening and move upwards on the other side. Doing this a few times can help make things a lot hotter and surprise her too. Plus, it gives her clitoris a little break which can increase the sexual tension.

Tip#8: Moving on to her vagina: Once she is sufficiently aroused, you can take two fingers and gently push them into her vagina. You can use the tips of your fingers to stimulate her G-spot (present on the front wall of her vagina — the area facing her abdomen) or her A-spot (present towards her spine). Here’s a guide to finding and stimulating the G-spot.

Tip#9: Multitask: Okay, we don’t mean watching a movie or reading a book while you stimulate her vagina. But what you actually need to do is, when you are using one hand to stimulate the inside wall of her vagina, use the other hand to stimulate her clitoris. This can be extremely pleasurable and make her orgasm more powerful.

Tip#10: Don’t change anything: It is quite common for you to think that the moment your partner starts to get aroused and is close to climaxing, you should change things up so as to intensify it. But this is one of the worst mistakes you can make. So, when she starts to become more vocal and is about to have an orgasm, don’t change a thing. Just keep doing the same motion and watch her have the best orgasm of her life.

You could also watch this video for a few more in-depth tips on how to finger her the right way.

Image source: Shutterstock

Video source: YouTube/ Simple Pickup

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How to Make A Woman Orgasm In Under 5 Minutes

Dr. Phil says it takes a woman 14 minutes to have an orgasm… well I feel bad for Dr. Phil.

Thing is, he’s not alone with this number… I’ve seen numerous sources say that it takes a woman anywhere between 15 to 20 minutes to have an orgasm.

Well, one thing is for sure… unless you have delayed ejaculation, a woman generally does take longer to orgasm than men do.

And if you don’t warm her up, and penetrate her properly, it probably WILL take her 15 – 20 minutes to get off… and most men don’t know what the hell they’re doing when they’re in the bedroom, so either 1) the girl naturally has quick/easy orgasms, or 2) she’s putting on a performance to please her man’s ego.

Thing is, it’s not that hard to even the playing field, and make a woman orgasm simultaneously, or even before you.

My Experience With The Female Orgasm

My experience with the female orgasm was not always good… in fact it was terrible – trauma-causing terrible.

I had the love of my life leave me due to my inability to satisfy her in bed. And had MANY women that left my bedroom feeling like “this guy sucks”, and never came back.

The female orgasm was a mystery to me. A code that I couldn’t crack. Something I thought was reserved for stronger, higher-level men in the food chain, from a Darwinistic point of view.

Either I wasn’t large enough, or just couldn’t last long enough… that was it. I wasn’t built to satisfy women.

But I was wrong.

After that girl left me, it became my life mission to be able to make a woman orgasm. Or die trying.

Any free time I had, I obsessively researched on the female orgasm… oral sex tactics, books on the clitoris, sex forums, guides to different penetrative techniques.

I “over-studied”… and put off sex or dating for a long time before I felt I was fully ready.

When I finally had a chance that was too good to pass up and felt I was ready, I went down on her and penetrated her to TWO powerful orgasms in under 10 minutes.

It was like a dream had come true…

But I have concerned it was a fluke. I repeated this with the same girl several times, but worried if I would be able to repeat the results with other women… but I did.

And over the last 10 years or so, I’ve made somewhere between 20 and 30 women have multiple orgasms in just a few minutes… (I’m not a male gigolo; just a very horny man in Miami, a city with plenty of “resources” in the female department).

So 20 minutes to orgasm? C’mon man… here’s how to make a woman orgasm quickly.

Get Her Mind Into It – Leading Up To, and During Sex

A woman’s mind plays a very strong role when it comes to her orgasm.

A TLC episode of Strange Sex reported on a woman who was able to “think herself” into orgasm, without any physical touch at all.

Scientists put her in an MRI like a machine, studying her brain waves, and they were, in fact, identical to the overwhelming hurricane of brain activity that occurs during orgasm. She was having an orgasm just from thought.

While it took 30 minutes or so, and most women will NEVER come to this level of “self mental stimulation” necessary to have an orgasm, it does show how strongly her thoughts will influence her orgasm.

SO… send her texts telling her specifically what you’d like to do to her, throughout the day… build the anticipation. Talk dirty during foreplay, and during sex… when her mind is into it, and she lets loose, then orgasm will occur quicker.

This is also a great way to know what she likes. have you ever asked what turns her on? Different strokes for different folks. This might be shocking news but newsflash, vaginas are not made from cookie cutters, each one is unique in its own way.

Not only on a physical level is each woman different but there is also the mental aspect to consider. If she has in her mind something that she wants but isn’t getting, her body might not respond the way either of you wants. So, just ask.

Your own libido will influence her levels of arousal. If you need a little boost in the area, there is a plant called Butea Superba that is backed both by science and centuries of eastern tradition, well-known for improving men’s sex drive and overall libido.

Stimulate Her Clit Before Entering

This tip is especially important if you have problems lasting long.

Your tongue is the perfect tool to stimulate her clitoris as it has no “time clock” before it’s set to go off. Plus, the soft, warm physical sensation it provides… women love it.

Combined with some breaks for occasional dirty talk, going down on your lady will get her much closer to orgasm, so when you do penetrate, it won’t take that many stroke before she’s “gone off”.

Some women can only come with a clitoris, enjoying penetration afterwards, without a climax. Nothing wrong with that! If your partner prefers clitoris orgasm, don’t rush and make her scream just by touching and licking her tiny clit.

Ask her about her preferences. From my experience slow regular moves, without rushing nor pushing too hard works best.

No matter if you touch it or lick it, one thing is crucial: your PERSISTENCE.  Repeat the same move between her legs continuously and patiently. Make her feel that you won’t stop until she screams with pleasure. She must feel it that it’s fun for you to take care of her and you will not finish in the middle of doing that. She must feel that she is melting with each stroke of your finger or tongue and slowly falling into the deep hole of pleasure.

Extra tip: finger her upper wall with two fingers, with a “come here” motion, at the same time as performing oral… this will put pressure on her g-spot, which in reality, is the internal part of the clitoral cluster.

Choose a Position That is Beneficial To the Clit

In case you haven’t noticed, the clitoris is key to the female orgasm… if you don’t put pressure on the clit, you won’t be getting her off.

Unless a woman’s clitoris is close to her vaginal opening, the doggy style will just be a fun position for you… while it will feel good for her, without a doubt, it will most likely not provide enough stimulation to make a woman orgasm… at least not anytime soon.

One of the best “you on top” positions to get a woman off is a missionary while putting pressure on the clitoris with the lower pelvis/area right above the base of your penis. Rub hard into it on the in- and out-stroke.

It’s more like a very quick up-and-down rubbing against the clit, rather than an in-and-out “banging”.

Does she know how to get herself off when on top? Just watch her, and try to duplicate a similar motion when YOU’RE on top.

Or let her get herself off on top! If she just follows her instincts, and she’s hot and horny enough, she’ll ride herself off into orgasm in just a couple of minutes, and you can get off simultaneously, or right after her, in the position you choose!

How To Hit The Fast-Forward x2 Towards Her Orgasm

It’s important that you pay attention to all of her erogenous zones as well… it’s kind of like entering a cheat code to skip levels.

If you are already penetrating correctly, or she’s on top, then sucking, pulling, spanking her “sexy parts”, preferably a few of them simultaneously (ask her what she likes; I’m sure she’ll point you in the right direction), combined with some dirty talk, and she’ll be tightening up, gyrating and vibrating into orgasm in no time.

It’s funny… when I start really putting this kind of pressure on my girl, she starts telling me “don’t finish yet”… when in reality I’m not even close!

I just play nice and say “okay, I won’t…”.

Her Satisfaction is Your Key To A Solid Relationship – Or Repeat Customer

A woman will stay in a relationship with a broke, abusive, a-hole of a guy, as long as the sex is good, much longer than she’ll stay in a relationship with the perfect man if he sucks in bed.

Good sex is the glue that keeps a relationship together, and a fundamental part of good sex is two happy customers.

Whether you want a long-lasting relationship or a friend-with-benefits that keeps on coming back, it’s important that you learn these skills… practice them, perfect them, and you’ll have a fundamental skill needed to keep women… and that most men are lacking.

If your lady does not seem to be enjoying herself as much as she could be in the bedroom, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself what might be going on and take some time to recognize and address it. Your sex life and your partner’s sex life will thank you!

Orgasms for everybody!

90,000 How to bring a girl to orgasm

3 main myths about sex

Penis is the main tool for satisfying a woman

You probably used to think that the bigger the penis, the better, and the longer you hold out, the more pleasure she will get. This is all a lie. And here’s the truth.

Researchers asked hundreds of women a direct question about what matters most to them during intercourse, and none of the participants mentioned penis size. Instead, women said they were crazy about men who care about their pleasure.

Good sex ends with simultaneous orgasm

This is how they show in the movies: a man energetically enters a woman, and – yes, yes, more! – they both have a quick and fabulous orgasm. In fact, simultaneous orgasms are a myth.

To bring your partner to orgasm, you must focus on her feelings, and in order to experience it yourself – completely immerse yourself in yours. As you can imagine, it is difficult to combine it. Your partner can experience pleasure both before you and after.And this is much more convenient than achieving simultaneous discharge.

To achieve orgasm, women need intercourse

According to the most optimistic estimates, only 15% of women can have an orgasm as a result of intercourse. The other 85% need clitoral stimulation.

Data from anonymous surveys conducted by the author of the course on female sexuality Lori Mintz among women over the past few years

The clitoris is the key to female orgasm. This proves once again the fact that only 1.5% of women masturbate with an object in the vagina.Another 12% do the same while touching their clitoris. And the rest – a whopping 86.5% – enjoy purely through clitoral stimulation. So the main thing to remember is that frictions lead you to orgasm, but not your partner. Her point of pleasure is the clitoris.

How to do everything correctly

With the myths sorted out, let’s get to the point. You have a date, and you really want the girl to remember it for the rest of her life. You will have to go through three stages: how to prepare, lay out in bed, and then consolidate the impression.Let’s start with the first one.

Prepare

Find out where the clitoris is

A recent study showed that 25% of men cannot find this organ on the diagram. Check yourself and take a closer look at female physiology.

Illustration from the book “How a Woman Wants”

If the pictures do not inspire you, you can watch a video about female masturbation, only not from porn, but realistic. Female sexuality expert Lori Mintz recommends watching any (or all) of the 50+ instructional videos on OMGYes.com. In them you will see 12 ways of clitoral masturbation.

Agree to have sex

It often happens that one partner wants to have sex and the other wants to prepare for an exam, work, watch TV, or just go to bed early. Agree on a sexual adventure in advance – then the girl will be ready for what awaits her, and it will be easier for you to achieve your goal.

Get rid of stress

For 80–90% of people (both women and men), stress reduces interest, and in almost all it reduces the ability to enjoy.Even among those 10–20% of us who, in a state of nervous tension, have an increased interest in sex.

If your partner works from morning till night, pulls a mortgage and three children, experiences constant stress, you can forget about orgasm. Therefore, before moving on to bed activities, take 20 minutes or even an hour to relax in a comfortable environment.

Ask the girl what helps her to recover. A bath, a walk, sports, cooking, heart-to-heart conversations, a glass of wine – whatever, as long as it works.

Create a context

Feminine pleasure is closely related to context – external circumstances and internal state. What exactly tunes a woman to sex depends on herself. But usually the ideal sex context = low stress + partner admiration + erotic setting. So candles, music and your irresistible appearance will not be superfluous.

Get down to business

Allocate 20 minutes to warm up

Modern sex scenarios focus mainly on what you and your partner do between your legs, but most women take about 20 minutes to warm up (kissing , caress).

Ladies need time to get excited and develop enough lubrication to make the touch of the genitals pleasant.

Here are some ways to warm up:

• Kiss each other on the lips – in every possible way (softly, persistently, with the tongue, without it).
• Kiss each other on the neck, ears and other parts of the face, while remaining dressed.
• Iron and fondle each other through clothing.
• Roll over the bed while wearing your clothes.
• Undress yourself or undress each other.
• Iron, kiss and caress your partner’s breasts.
• Play with her nipples by rolling them gently between your toes, sucking, pulling or pinching if it turns her on.
• Iron and kiss each other’s naked bodies without stopping anywhere for a long time. Many women say they like it when their partner teases them for a while, touching their genitals, and then starting to fondle them again in other places.

You can also take a shower or a bath together, laugh, joke and fool around.Show your imagination!

Treat her clitoris

When both of you are warm enough, move on to the main course – clitoral stimulation. Do this as much as necessary. In general, women need 15 to 45 minutes to orgasm. Interesting statistic: If you spend 20 minutes or more on clitoral stimulation, about 92% of your partners will have an orgasm.

Tip: Start by gently touching her clitoris, and let her tell you when you can increase the pressure.The clitoris is a very delicate organ, so it is better when she says “More” rather than “Oops!”

Find out what she likes

Nerves are located differently in women. Therefore, there is no universal recipe for pleasure: everyone likes their own kind of touch.

To complicate matters even more, we add that the stimulation required for a woman to orgasm may vary at different times (for example, depending on the phase of the menstrual cycle). So only one thing will help bring a woman to discharge – the desire to listen to her and hear.

How do you know what a woman wants today? Here are three ways:

• Just ask. Conversations during sex can be very short, but they can make a big difference in the situation. For example, you say, “Tell me what you like,” or “I want you to tell me if this is right for you,” or “I want to please you. Show that you are pleased. ”
• Let her fingers speak. Place your hand over your partner’s hand, signaling to her that you want her to show how she likes to be touched.When she does, follow her instructions (where, with what force, how exactly).
• Listen. Rapid breathing, increasing groans and requests to continue usually tell you that you are heading in the right direction. But if the girl does not show emotions, most likely something is wrong, but she is embarrassed to say about it. In this case, go back to methods 1 and 2.

Experience an orgasm

You can first bring your partner to orgasm by stimulating the clitoris, and then go on to sexual intercourse and get your portion of pleasure, or vice versa.Do not strive to experience an orgasm at the same time – remember that this is a myth. Researchers even believe that it is undesirable for partners to achieve release in one moment, since this deprives the pleasure of watching and feeling the partner’s orgasm.

Enjoy the pleasant aftertaste

Talk after sex

Many couples find it helpful to “process the information” right after sex. This will help make it better next time. Ask the girl what she liked the most and what you can do better next time.Just do not make claims: if there are serious problems, it is better to discuss them outside the bedroom doors.

Stay close

After sex, many women want to prolong intimacy: cuddle, chat or just fall asleep together. What you should definitely not do is turn your back to your partner or immediately call a taxi.

Stay close and be attentive. Remember that caring for women is far more exciting than penis size and sophistication in love affairs.

The article was prepared based on the following books:

• “The Point of Pleasure”, Lori Mintz – a journey into the world of female orgasm, debunking the biggest lie about sex.
• “How a Woman Wants”, Emily Nagoski – Scientific answers to questions about the female body and sexuality.

How to bring a girl to orgasm?

This question was submitted by our reader. You can also ask your question to Lifehacker – if it is interesting, we will definitely answer.

How to bring a girl to orgasm?

Sergey Sartakov

Amina Nazaralieva

First, a little theory.Our sex drive and arousal are influenced by two pedals: the gas and the brake. Lazy fantasies that it would be nice to turn on porn or cuddle are 10 kilometers per hour, and 200 kilometers per hour is a sure movement to orgasm.

If you are driving 30 km per hour and even slightly applied the brake, this may be enough to make driving further uninteresting. And if you drive 200 km per hour and slow down to 190, without reaching orgasm, the girl may still think: “Damn, I rode great.”

In achieving orgasm there is an emotional part and a technical one, let us consider each in more detail.

Emotional part

The factors that affect the gas and brakes depend on the preferences and characteristics of the partner. For some, it is bad breath. For others, it can be the use of violence, thoughts of cheating, an important phone call, turning on the light, worrying about your own body, crying a child, fatigue, stress at work, illness. Or offensive words spoken by a partner: insults, devaluation, unflattering comments.It is extremely rare – an erection missing from a partner. An important point – the pain, if abruptly done wrong, scratched.

One of the factors that pulls on the brakes is safety concerns. It can be associated with domestic or sexual abuse in the past or in a current relationship. This makes the partner tense and fearful.

Contraception is the second common cause of concern for women: if not, it is unreliable or protects against pregnancy, but not against sexually transmitted infections.By increasing the level of safety, you can help your partner to relax and accelerate as much as possible.

Factors that increase arousal are also different for everyone. Someone is aroused by the thought of threesome sex, others are dispersed by a specific Cooney technique, and someone loves to have sex in front of witnesses.

And other girls will be excited by the maximum security, trust, care and everything that confirms that everything is fine in your relationship. That is, everything that happened before you were naked in bed.

The most difficult question is how to understand what a particular girl is hitting the gas best of all. We do not know in advance. We can find out statistically that a certain group of women prefers this. You will have to figure out the rest yourself – by talking with the girl. She may know, but she is shy and expects you to take the initiative and ask. And if the girl has little experience, then masturbation and exploration of her body alone or with you will help her.

You need to learn to speak directly about your desires and unwillingness.Most women will benefit from this. And most men will benefit from a little less blind confidence that everything is more or less the same for women.

We got to the cornerstone of any sexual encounter – the issue of consent. Sex is best approached with a beginner’s mind, especially with a new partner. But not only that: the habitual partner’s mood, body condition, emotional and mental state, and the level of fatigue can also change.

Approach the girl as if you are seeing her for the first time and do not know exactly what she will like right now.Be prepared to ask with curiosity, respect, and a willingness to hear no and back off if there is a hint.

You should doubt that you know in advance and read all the signals of women correctly. In your actions, rely only on “yes”, which is said with enthusiasm and really leaves no doubt that the person wants it.

Technical

A more banal and traditional side, which is reflected in most sex trainings, is the technical one, about how to directly interact with the genitals.

Remember – the clitoris is all over the head. If we are talking about orgasm, then most women do not need a penis in the vagina to experience an orgasm. It’s enough that your hands, lips and maybe a vibrator will do to her clitoris.

At the same time, only a little more than a quarter of women are able to experience an orgasm only from the penetration of the penis. Most need additional stimulation, and this is completely normal. This usually involves changing your position so that the clitoris is accessible to your or her fingers.Often this is a spoon pose or doggy style. The clitoris can also be stimulated not with fingers, but with a vibrator that is comfortable to hold during coitus – it will definitely bring you to orgasm.

It is also important to remember that there is no need to immediately rush to the visible part of the clitoris, it can even be painful. Most girls prefer a neat and slow approach to this area. The clitoris is also stimulated when you fondle the areas closest to its visible part: the anal area, vagina, vulva, labia majora or labia minora.

If the orgasm hasn’t happened, that’s okay too. You don’t have to cum at the same time. It is believed that it is good if the partner finished first, but if you finished earlier, you still have hands, lips, toys to bring her to orgasm if she wants to. Conversely, in the same way, a girl can help her partner come if he wants to. I emphasize this because not always and not all people want to cum. Many people feel that they are too tired, and then the race for orgasm can turn into torture.

People who have the belief that every sex should end with an orgasm often try to get it out at any cost. Because they love their partner very much or it is important for them that everyone must have an orgasm. This often leads to the fact that partners fake an orgasm, so that everything is over quickly or so as not to offend the lover. Don’t do that. Sex is pleasure in general, and orgasm is optional, but very enjoyable.

Read also 🧐

Scientists have named the most unusual ways to bring a woman to orgasm

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The list includes socks, the smell of cucumbers and the shape of the nose

The British edition of the Daily Mail presented a selection of recent scientific studies on the factors that affect a man’s sex appeal in the eyes of a woman or the likelihood of a woman having an orgasm.Many items in the published list look at least strange, but in most cases the authors of the article refer to specialists who have seriously devoted scientific research to an unusual topic.

As stated in a recent scientific work, socks on a woman’s legs, paradoxically, increase the likelihood that she will have an orgasm during sex. Despite the reputation of socks as an attribute that rather discourages the desire for intimacy, Dutch researchers concluded that without them, women achieve orgasm only 50 percent of the time, and if they are wearing socks – 80 percent.

As stated in other scientific work, women often feel that men with long noses have a lot of testosterone in their bodies, which makes them more likely to succeed in relationships. Also, the fairer sex find an attractive golden skin tone, which, it is stated, can appear if you add a large amount of carrots to your diet.

Another study found that women find men more sexually attractive in T-shirts with a print or just a big T on their chest – according to experts from Nottingham Trent University, this makes a man’s shoulders look wider, and his waist – narrower, due to what the representative of the stronger sex is subconsciously perceived as more athletic.

Probably the strangest and in some ways even repulsive pattern was the observation that women are attracted to men like their brothers. However, according to Scottish scientists, there is nothing overly unusual in this, since people, most often, subconsciously seek to continue the race with those who are not too similar to them, but are not too different, so that people who are not relatives, but have there are some similarities with them, they involuntarily attract attention.

Last year, researchers at the University of Vienna concluded that girls are more likely to be sympathetic to a young man if they play music they like. Researchers explain this by the fact that the subconscious interprets the pleasure of hearing for the joy of communicating with a man and, as a result, sympathy for him. At the same time, it is argued that men themselves are less susceptible to this.

It is not only what she sees or hears, but also the smells that she smells that can increase the likelihood that a woman is interested in a man.At the same time, it is argued that during the experiments, the smell of cucumber turned out to be unexpectedly “exciting”.

Two points, to some extent, contradict each other. On the one hand, experts from the UK argue that women (especially those seeking long-term relationships) are more likely to find selfish men who admire themselves more attractive. On the other hand, their colleagues noticed that women find very attractive men who can feel guilty (as the authors of the second study suggested, a guilty facial expression can give hope, albeit often false, that a man will not do this or that act again).

90,000 5 proven methods of how to bring a girl to orgasm – Rambler / female

In the modern world, it is important for a man to pay attention to the pleasure of his partner and know how to bring a girl to orgasm.

The authors of the bestselling book Miracles Between the Thighs share five proven methods of cultivating together.

Poster for the movie “Nymphomaniac”

Imagine spending time with an attractive woman. Apparent sexual tension builds up as you sip cocktails, dine, and playfully witty.

Arriving home, you can no longer endure, and, disdaining foreplay, go straight to sex. Later she seems satisfied, even contented, but keep in mind: no matter how long you hold out, the good old back and forth is unlikely to bring her to orgasm.

Quiet. Your potency is all right. You are simply channeling too much energy in the wrong direction.

In heterosexual couples, penetration is considered the main stage of intercourse, but, unlike bad porn, women do not just come from vaginal sex.In the real world, only one in four girls can do this.

A woman’s ability to get an orgasm from penetration is a matter of chance; she can come in this way if the clitoris is close to the vaginal opening.

However, you can show her the City of Pleasure, despite this anatomical lottery.

1. Prepare the ground

Most men have a spontaneous urge to have sex, and only 15% of women can.

The rest have a reciprocal desire – this means that their arousal is subject to a romantic or sexual setting.These girls need foreplay in their heads, so put your smartphone aside, free up the schedule and organize the atmosphere before you take a step.

2. Focus on foreplay

The clitoris is often perceived as a small, pretty pipette in the upper part of the vestibule, the area between the female labia.

In fact, it is the clitoris – not the vagina – that is the main female sexual organ. The head of the clitoris is equivalent to the head of the penis, and most girls need direct stimulation to orgasm.

This means that you should distract a little from the vagina and direct the actions of your tongue and fingers to the clitoris.

If more heterosexual couples paid attention to foreplay, orgasm with a partner could reach 75% of women who do not cum from penetration.

3. Hold your horses

There are more than 8 thousand nerve endings on the head of the clitoris – the same number as on the head of the penis, but due to their small size, their concentration is higher.

This makes the clitoris more sensitive than any organ in the male body – and also means that the line between pleasure and discomfort is very thin.So be gentle.

Not all touches are appropriate: if you stimulate the clitoris too aggressively, the nerve endings will overload, and they simply stop sending signals to the brain.

In this state of affairs, there is only one way out: take a break. To avoid the pause button in the future, try indirect stimulation, varying pressure, and use lubricant to minimize friction.

4. Mysterious abbreviation

Rejoice, missionary fans: with the technique of coital alignment, or TKB, you can bring your partner to orgasm upon penetration.TKV is the position with the highest female orgasm ratio with vaginal sex alone.

The secret is to stimulate the clitoris with your pubic bone. Your pubes should be touching, and the movement should be more like sliding or friction, rather than pushing: back and forth, rather than in and out. The pose takes practice, but trust me, time won’t be wasted.

5. Speak obscenities

In addition to anatomical ingenuity, the sure way to a great sex life is communication.

Talk to your partner about sex, listen and communicate what you want.Studies show that couples discussing bed matters are more satisfied with relationships in general and sex in particular – communicating partners have an order of magnitude more of it.

Why is orgasm not the most important thing in sex?

Any porn teaches us that sex begins with lightning stripping and certainly ends with orgasm, and the whole process takes about seven minutes.

We are shown some kind of wrong and too cheerful sex, in which there is no kissing or foreplay.In general, not a hint of what turns the mechanical process of penetration into something intimate and sensual. As a result, we mistakenly begin to believe that the purpose of sex is the same – to bring a partner to orgasm. And this becomes a problem.

Focusing only on the result, we stop enjoying the process and become terribly upset if we do not achieve the goal. In other words, without bringing the girl to orgasm, we lament that we screwed up grossly, we begin to doubt ourselves and do our best to rehabilitate ourselves next times.As a result, by trying too hard to please a loved one, we ourselves, unwittingly, turn sex into a tedious activity that does not bring any pleasure.

Do not think that now we will begin to convince you that you do not need to have an orgasm at all. Nobody belittles its significance. If we could finish with every intercourse, it is unlikely that they would deny themselves such pleasure. But in practice, it is not always possible to achieve orgasm. According to Psychology Today, only 25% of women regularly achieve peak pleasure during sex.Yes, and our statistics are not too funny: about 26% of men under the age of 40, at least once, faced the fact that they could not finish.

It’s no secret that a male orgasm is not as difficult to achieve as a female one. So even if a man fails to come, sex generally turns into a sheer frustration and seems meaningless. As a result, we start to get very nervous in bed, and this is definitely not conducive to either orgasm or pleasure.

But really, sex is not really about cumming.This is an opportunity for intimacy with a partner. So it’s time to stop focusing only on the result and learn to appreciate the process itself. This makes it even easier to achieve orgasm, especially if you follow some rules.

Foreplay is the main part of sex

This rule does not apply only when you are running out of time (for example, you are in a fitting room or in a movie theater). But if you are not having sex somewhere in the elevator, foreplay should not be missed. Stop seeing it as an attachment to sex.This is its main part, which can last at least several hours in a row. Watch porn together, have fun with sex toys, the more time you devote to foreplay, the more aroused you will be. So if you start to go crazy just after seeing your girlfriend in her underwear, hold your horses and focus on attracting her to sex.

Feel free to chat in bed

It should not be denied that sex is sometimes very awkward, although porn films try to convince us otherwise.A lot of things can happen in bed that make us embarrassed at best. But experience and a sense of humor will help to overcome such awkwardness. So feel free to chat with each other in bed.

Dirty talk is one of the things that help make sex better and more relaxed. Talking like this will be awkward at first. But do not hesitate to leave your comfort zone to ask what your partner wants right now. Just don’t turn from a shy guy into a pimp.Try not to overdo it with emancipation and not start talking all sorts of nonsense like “I want to make you cum” and “I will enter you abruptly and deeply.” Such phrases sound too aggressive and corny. You seem to oblige your girlfriend to experience an orgasm and enjoy penetration. Much wiser to let her voice her own desires: the question “do you like it?” will be enough. Most likely, such communication will allow the girl to also be liberated and start talking openly about her preferences, which will greatly facilitate your work.

Orgasm is not too important

It’s time to accept the fact that orgasm is not the only pleasant sensation that we can experience during sex. Therefore, trying to please your girlfriend in every possible way for two hours is definitely not the best idea. At the very least, don’t be too lazy to ask if she would mind continuing if you do decide to follow through. And do not forget that every girl is different: you will not be able to bring one to orgasm at all, while the other will experience it almost immediately.Just think about … No, don’t think at all and just have fun. And as strange as it sounds, the less you fixate on having an orgasm, the more likely you are to experience it.

Don’t end sex immediately after orgasm

It’s great if you still manage to bring a girl to orgasm. But do not think that this is your mission accomplished and sex is over. Do not forget to kiss your beloved one more time and ask if she would like to continue.

Turning to the wall and instantly snoring, you will let all your efforts go down the drain, although perhaps it was just an overture and you could start the second and third acts of your love play.

First published on the American GQ website.

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Top 10 Rules Modern Sex

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Photo: Giphy

Do you often check your mail? Let there be something interesting from us.

How to properly bring a woman to orgasm

This is not an easy question. Unlike men, the mechanism for triggering orgasm in a woman’s body is very, very complex. It includes not only the mechanical part (rubbed – got the result), but also the emotional and even aesthetic. To properly bring to orgasm, you have to work hard. No wonder a significant number of the fair sex consider the orgasm itself to be something like an urban legend.

Are you ready to convince the crowds of dissatisfied women? And do you need it? Everyone will have to answer this question on their own.And there is nothing seditious in a negative answer. Our world is rapidly ceasing to be patriarchal, everyone talks about equality. And if in order to achieve a result, the parties need to make a different amount of effort, well, maybe one of them is not at all shameful to cheat.

Foreplay

So, preparatory procedures. What a man does not feel the need for at all, and if he suddenly receives foreplay, then only to the extent to achieve an erection.Not so in a complex and confusing female world.

The main erogenous points of your partner should not be ignored. And this is by no means just the chest and vaginal area. Actually, this is where you need to go in the second stage, immediately preceding penetration. And you can bring a woman to orgasm without vaginal contact.

Earlobes, hollow under the knee, tailbone, neck … There is simply no universal map.You will have to find each point on your own, having carried out difficult and, as a rule, rather lengthy surveys. It sometimes takes a year or two of constant practice to bring a wife to orgasm.

Special technicians

Do not look for universal answers to the question of how to bring a woman to orgasm. The most popular advice will be extremely vague: attentiveness, empathy, tenderness, creating a romantic atmosphere and closing the mortgage issue. As soon as you see a literally numbered list of activities somewhere, know that you are being deceived.The authors of these tips most likely know little about the female orgasm.

The main principle that you need to remember when establishing harmony in sexual life comes down to the knowledge of female physiology. For many mature and experienced men, it becomes a discovery that the energy of frictions, the size of the male genital organ and the duration of the act have nothing to do with the intensity of orgiastic experience.

The fact is that penetration itself stimulates a small part of the sensitive receptors of the female body.The main nerve endings are concentrated not in the depths of the vagina, but in the clitoris. This relatively small process is located at the top of the vagina. It is a detonator that triggers the most acute spasmodic contractions.

Direct stimulation of the clitoris is significantly more effective than penetration of an arbitrarily large penis. That is why the various bridge techniques that involve simultaneous penetration and finger stimulation are so popular.

An amazing discovery: from the point of view of physiologists, the most effective pose can be confidently called the classic one. Yes, yes, for a woman, it is she who is optimal. The missionary position may seem too boring to the satiated egoist, but it will allow you to optimally combine penetration with the massive stimulation of the clitoris, which is carried out by the partner’s pubis in the process of frictions.

Common myths

The two most trashy and most common myths concern the size of the penis in men and the duration of the act.The bigger, the better! And even longer. Everything, as male chimpanzees love. Forget both! These are statements that are not based on anything at all. The best way to bring a girl to orgasm is through education and practice. Therefore: read our website and implement the best of our tips. We promise: everything will work out.

90,000 Read online “How to bring a girl to orgasm” by Lider Artyom – RuLit

Lider Artyom

How to bring a girl to orgasm

How to bring a girl to orgasm

MA> I don’t know how much the local public can help here with advice… MA> In general, this is the case. A 22-year-old woman does not know what an orgasm is. MA> Despite all my efforts. I wonder if there are any MA> methods, techniques, etc. to increase its sensitivity in this MA> plan? Were there cases when it was possible to achieve MA> positive results in this way? In general, share your experience. If MA> anyone has such experience.

DB> Do girls like doing blow jobs?

And women too.

DB> And then somehow it’s inconvenient to ask a friend… 🙂

Convenient, convenient. At the same time, it can end with a practical check.

DB> One more question, how to excite a girl (exactly how to ignite her)

How to bring a girl to orgasm? v 1.1 from 09/06/96

Okay, let’s go little by little.

This means that in order to obtain an orgasm, a woman needs (who could think of ?!) to be excited. Moreover – before the act. We don’t climb with our arms below the waist, we don’t grab the chest. At first.

Initially, we assume that the girl is located for sex.I especially recommend dealing with a cleanly washed girl – and kissing her more pleasantly, and she is calmer that she is clean. Many people have a complex for this. If you have known each other for a long time, you can immediately cuddle up to her as a standing member, she will like it. You can tell her what you are going to do, in detail … Hot whisper in your ear, kiss him, neck and act as you describe.

I recommend holding on to the kisses of the neck and ears, and changing the pose as quickly as possible to lying down – this is more comfortable. Just don’t get her out of the way if you doubt what she wants.Now a piece of a ready-made faq on kisses, for a good person I wrote, but you can, I think, he will not be offended:

* * * Be sure to kiss the neck, yshi. Slightly suck the earlobes, you can squeeze, but not much. You caress yoshko from the inside with your tongue, with its tip you penetrate the hole, breathe gently in yho, it is very good to whisper words, the name of the lady, then again go to the lips, the pins caress the neck, yshi, again the lips of the neck – you see that she is already starting to kiss your neck, stronger, you hide your teeth behind your lips, you poke her neck like this, you can just bite your teeth with your teeth, but just right, do not forget about a whisper, and caresses with the tip of your tongue… Sometimes there is a sensitive zone on the back of the head, but I met only a couple of times … Probyy, maybe it will. Carefully stroke it with your fingers first, then harder. Also – push your chest down – they are sensitive to pressure. Do not grab your hands – it will be aroused in such a way that she herself asks or clearly shows. Will be pressed hips to you – pyst. But do not rush, stayed, hold her and he himself is stronger and nothing more. Continue kissing, in this state, do not remember about the lips anymore, switch completely on the neck (!) And yshi, the breath is already stronger, hotter, but do not behave like a beast.It’s too early. 😉 That’s when the lady starts to cuddle harder and harder, you can put the arms on the chest and on the ass … Depending on what she is pressing harder …

Now: Breast – be sure to find out if she likes her caresses. If not, don’t even think about it. With careful nipples, do not squeeze the chest strongly at first, only if she asks, or you yourself see that she is pleased with it. We stroke the chest against the hour hand, fingers, do not grab the whole palm. You start from the edges of the chest with your fingers and, having made a half-circle, you move to the nipples – you stroke the nipple with your fingertips, then, as it were, you slip the nipples inside the spread fingers, and the movement is grabbing the nipples.

So, still – all this time we do not forget about the kisses of your ears, words. There is one more trifle – move your nogy closer to her, pass between her legs and go to the “pussy”, she will tell you the power of presumption. Hy and himself a member of cuddling, to the extent of its excitement stronger and stronger, you can imitate movements during the act.

But back to the chest. Now you can grab it with your palm, picking it up, as it were, with the thumb and forefinger stroking the nipple (accypically). Then the caress is already stronger (I suppose that she likes all this), you can strongly grasp and squeeze the chest.

Chest Kisses. Lick the nipple down with your tongue, suck it, don’t try to take the whole breast in your mouth, just the nipple and the overlying area are enough. With the back of the tongue – circular movements around the nipple, then with the tip of the tongue, the tip of the nipple is teasing – just the lady sees it, try to portray pleasure on her face (syks, this is all and boredom … :()

Caress the second breast with a py, not for long on one breast hold back, between the chest it is also very pleasant for them when you kiss. ”Licking movements of the tongue, sucking kisses – not strong.Clavicles, shoulders – sucking kisses, biting with teeth hidden behind the lips, perhaps not hidden, if the lady is pleased with a slight pain. Just don’t get carried away.

If you are going to stroke your shoulders – the movements are of medium strength, the lungs, on the contrary, will calm down.

Buttocks. In the middle on both sides are two sensitive places, kissing them, tickling them with the tongue. Squeeze the ass with your hands with an average and stronger caress, fingers, palm, but not rudely – traces remain and the lady is hurt. Do not hesitate to ask why she moaned – it may well be that you are too cruel.

I do not take into account the back and legs – somehow I did not meet the ladies who are sensitive to these places. This will be a task for self-study

The inner surface of the thighs – light caresses, fingers, as it were, run over the skin, caress the hairs (there they are, there is – a light pusher, first try only to stroke it), then use the palm of your hand to move from the knee and above, but do not rush to touch “it itself”, even if she herself asks. Kiss with strong movements, lick your tongue strongly, strongly, then return to your ears and kiss them, demonstrating the strongest excitement, you press your penis as soon as you can, you breathe hot and hot in your ears, show your desire.

In principle, you can insert, the girl must be ready … But this is not the highest grade, unclean work.

Now it’s good to walk lightly on the chest again, go down with stroking movements along the back to the ass, strongly (not rudely, I’ll just say – you’ll repulse all the desire!) Squeeze them, sit down on the penis already to the “pussy” and … nothing. The lady should sigh, hug you and show you what she wants. And yes. It will be overwhelmed for now. The fingers again move to the inner surface of the thighs and at the end of their movement upward, touch the labia.(Damn, the word is right for me!) You touch her where the vagina is, with your finger inside.

Your lips again y yshey, a member is pressed to her and already without hiding, you move completely as if you were shaking her. With your finger you make a movement upward, to the clitoris, and, without holding back, down again, the rest of your fingers move along her lips. So several times, then already the middle finger on the clitoris, caress it. Movement is circular, against the hour. Hy, in fact, it can be brought to orgasm without the help of a member …

You come back down again, the end of your palm is stroking the clitoris, with your fingers you penetrate inside, stroking it around the circle, then deeper again, again with your finger at the entrance, around the circle, fingers up onto the clitoris, stroked down and deeply inside, again…

After a minute or two of such garbage, she can already end. There is such a moment – you haven’t finished, right? It is uncomfortable for her, which it is good to use to ask her to do something that she did not want or could not before. Tell her how much you enjoyed stroking her, and then ask what you want.

Okay, then about it, got it already. If you knew what kind of boredom it really is, Lord …

DB>, and how to understand that she’s turned on (well, with the 2nd, I’m thinking easier …)

Yy. There is the same clear sign as y men. Grease is released. Big guys say that the more there is, the more excited she is. But this is not always true.

DB> And how frequent having sex affects potency .