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How to make woman orgasam: Sexual Technique Terms Help Optimize Sexual Pleasure

by alexxlab

Sexual Technique Terms Help Optimize Sexual Pleasure

Four Ways to Achieve Heightened Sexual Arousal

After analyzing the results from an international qualitative study, the researchers, Devon J. Hensel, PhD, an associate research professor at Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis, and Christiana von Hippel, ScD, an OMGYES research scientist, found a recurring pattern of four specific techniques that never really had words to describe them before. The team then looked closer into these four techniques using a cross-sectional, online, national probability survey of 3,017 American women ages 18–93.

“We took this deeper dive into the patterns to find out the percentage of women who used each technique during vaginal penetration and then looked at how those specific techniques impacted their pleasure,” says Dr. von Hippel. In other words, they looked at the specific sexual moves and methods that turned them on.

RELATED: Women and Orgasm: Facts About the Female Climax

The researchers gave terms for each of these sexual methods to help women identify and communicate what feels best to them.

  • Angling Rotating, raising, or lowering pelvis and hips during penetration to adjust where inside the vagina the toy or penis rubs; 87 percent of respondents used this method.
  • Pairing A woman or her partner stimulates her clitoris with a finger or sex toy simultaneously with penetration. (69 percent)
  • Rocking The base of a penis or sex toy rubs against the clitoris constantly during penetration by staying all the way inside the vagina rather than thrusting in and out. Usually used when the woman is on top. One of the respondents explained its allure: “We had to ‘unlearn’ the fast-pumping motions we had seen in porn. And we’re both much happier with our new ways.” (76 percent)
  • Shallowing Penetrative touch just inside the entrance of the vagina. Another respondent said, “I think this area is really underrated. I can have really amazing sex with penetration just going in an inch and never further. ” (84 percent)

Using Language for Sexual Techniques Is Powerful

“I think naming pleasure and pleasure techniques are specifically empowering and usable, so women can feel comfortable and confident using them with partners. They are also important for when women discuss their sex lives with friends, such as ‘I like this, why don’t you try that?’ To be able to specifically describe what they like and to be able to ask for it is incredibly empowering and helps women to feel like their voices are heard. There is also a normalizing effect as well when they realize that what they like is a pattern that’s shared by lots of women,” says von Hippel.

RELATED: Masturbation 101: A Guide to Solo Sex for Women 

Dr. von Hippel adds that having language also allows women to be flexible and describe what they want at the moment. “What you enjoy can change in the middle of a sexual experience, and it can change over your life. Having this large menu or repertoire of words and techniques that you can pull from is great, because then it’s also not a question of “I am a woman who likes x.’ It might be ‘I am a woman who loves pairing in this context and shallowing in this context and angling at this age.’ Women can feel confident to communicate and mix and match.”

A Step Forward in Sexual Pleasure Education for Women

When Lou Paget, an American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists certified sex educator, heard of this new study her first response was, “Finally! It’s about time!”

Paget went on to explain, “I have been hearing women describe this stuff in my seminars for years but there really hasn’t been any guidance on how you do it. The main reason for that is because so much of the research work has always focused on the penile, vaginal, and men’s response.”

RELATED: BDSM: Learn the Ropes Before Diving In

Even if both partners are female, the two of them may not have had the language to communicate needs to each other. These words open that door.

Partners Can Learn About Pleasuring Others, Too

Paget also points out that the top question most men ask her is: How can he make things more pleasurable for his partner? “Men are so hungry for what they can do to make a partner feel good. They enjoy it more if she enjoys it more. Having language that can quickly describe what she likes is empowering to them as well,” says Paget, who is also the author of five books on sexuality, including Orgasms.

Clitoral Stimulation Is Key

Paget notes that all four techniques are connected to stimulating the clitoris at the same time. “This should not be any shock to any woman. For most, it isn’t the vaginal penetration that’s the most satisfying. That may feel good for feeling filled and connected to a partner. But it’s the shallowing, the rocking; those are all things that women have been doing for forever, that really bring women extreme pleasure,” she points out.

Again, this is important for men to know as well. “They have been fed misinformation from society at large and from watching unrealistic porn, where the women are usually deriving all their pleasure from penetration. Men need to learn the importance of clitoral stimulation as well,” she adds.

Achieving Female Orgasm: Tips for Partners

Experiment With Sex Toys That Work With Specific Techniques

When you figure out what you like, sex toys can help you get there either alone or with a partner. Tatyana Dyachenko, a sex coach with the online sex shop Peaches and Screams, reveals what types of toys work best with each technique.

For angling Sex swings allow the woman to rotate, raise, or lower her pelvis on the penetration item to allow for maximum pleasure.

For pairing A silicone mini finger vibrator stimulates your clitoris during penetration; a strap-on face dildo allows your partner to penetrate you while also using their tongue to stimulate the clitoris.

For rocking A raised ribbed “cock” sleeve with a clitoral stimulator and vibrator works for both parties: It helps thicken and support the penis for more firm erections, and the female partner can rub herself against the clitoral stimulator while being penetrated. Or, a vibrating clitoral stimulator delivers direct stimulation.

For shallowing Vibrating balls or eggs are inserted just inside the vagina without the need for deep penetration.

RELATED: Check Out Our Reviews of the Best Sex Toys for Individuals and Couples

More Research on Sexual Pleasure Is Needed

This survey did not ask women’s partners for feedback, which the team hopes to look at in the future. Von Hippel says, “What’s often really interesting is how the communication happens, how the names of the techniques are used and how partners feel about that. OMGYES has been hearing from couples or just the men that this has really changed the way they are able to connect and communicate, and he feels like he understands her more. For the first time, even though they maybe have been together for 20 years, something has finally clicked by having these words and having looked at the techniques together. Now they know there are always new things to explore, and the specifics of what feels good to her and how he can support her.”

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9 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

There’s more to a great union than sexual attraction and common interests. Here’s how to know if your partnership is healthy.

By Jessica MigalaMedically Reviewed by Seth Gillihan, PhD

Reviewed:

Medically Reviewed

One of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship is giving each other enough space to pursue separate goals.Kristina Balashova/Stocksy

You and your partner love trying new restaurants together, going on long bike rides, and traveling, but when it comes to being happy and healthy in a relationship, there are other things to consider besides having common interests.

What exactly makes a relationship healthy? “A great relationship is a safe place for both people to love, honor, and respect one another,” says Jennifer Howell, a leadership and relationship coach based in North Carolina. You can communicate your wants, needs, and boundaries, as well as listen to the other person.

A healthy relationship is important to cultivate because the opposite — a toxic relationship — takes a toll on your quality of life by heightening depression and anxiety, impacting sleep, causing you to take up unhealthy habits, and even impacting heart health, says Mary Jo Rapini, a licensed professional counselor in Houston who specializes in intimacy and sex therapy.

Being in a high-quality romantic relationship is associated with greater well-being, according to a study from 2019. But being single was far better for someone’s well-being than being in a less happy partnership, the study found.

What’s more, many couples in unhealthy relationships don’t know that they are, especially if they grew up in a household where it was the norm, says Rapini. So it’s all the more important to be able to identify where yours stands.

Here are nine signs you and your mate are a good match:

1. You’re Not Afraid to Speak Up

It’s easy to know when your partner does something you don’t like — maybe they don’t call you for two days or don’t help out around the house when you live together. But it’s not always easy to speak up and tell your significant other how you’re feeling. “This takes a lot of strength, self-confidence, and courage, because you have to come from a vulnerable place,” says Howell. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel secure enough to be open with your partner.

2. Trust Is at the Core of the Relationship

Trust is foundational in all relationships, but with social media and always-on gadgets, it can become all too easy to snoop. But in a healthy relationship, you don’t need to do that. In part, that’s because your partner shows you they’re trustworthy. “They’re reliable and available. When they say they’ll be there, they’ll be there,” says Rapini. They also show you they trust you by giving you the freedom and space you need without checking up on you constantly — and that includes checking your phone, she says.

3. You Know Each Other’s Love Language

Many couples swear by the book The 5 Love Languages for a reason: In it, you discover your partner’s “love language” — the way they prefer to give and receive love (through words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch). In a healthy relationship, you’ve taken the time to learn each other’s “love language” so you can express your love in a way that works for you both, says Howell.

4. You Agree to Disagree on Certain Issues

Every couple fights. But contrary to what you might think, you don’t need to fix every issue. In fact, it’s okay to have a handful of topics that you two will never agree on. Sometimes, “it’s totally fine to agree to disagree. I think that’s healthy fighting,” explains Rapini. “In healthy relationships, there are at least five issues that are ‘no-talkers. ’ They’re the issues that you both differ in opinion and perspective on, and that’s okay.”

5. You Encourage Each Other to Go After Your Goals

“Many of us have a dream or vision for our life, and especially as we age, we want to maintain those visions,” says Howell. According to Howell, it’s okay if your dreams don’t align with one another as long as you “honor and encourage each other to achieve your goals.”

6. You and Your Partner Hold Separate Interests

“Couples who have the greatest love affairs are the ones who are able to maintain their interests, but don’t put guilt on their partner for not sharing it with them,” she says. Meaning, both of you encourage the other to explore what they love on their own. Howell agrees, adding that while it’s easy to adopt your partner’s habits and interests, over time becoming over-reliant on each other can breed resentment. “Developing and investing in yourself builds self-confidence, self-love, and joy,” she says.

7.

You’re Comfortable in Your Own Skin

When you’re in a relationship, it’s crucial to know your strengths and weaknesses, says Howell. Maybe you’re confident around your friends but self-conscious at work. Or you know that little things, like your partner forgetting to take out the trash, can set you off. Whatever your strengths and weaknesses are, being aware of them can help you reach a point of loving and accepting yourself, which in turn can help you love and accept your partner.

8. Boundaries Are Honored and Respected

A healthy relationship means you’re both on the same team. “In a healthy relationship, both parties discuss and agree upon important subjects that are meaningful to one another,” says Howell. She gives the example of budgeting for something big, like a vacation. An unsupportive partner in an unhealthy relationship doesn’t honor that goal, and they may sabotage it by trying to get you to splurge on something unnecessary. If you can talk it out with your partner and they acknowledge and understand your boundaries, that’s a good sign, notes Howell. “However, if your partner repeatedly ignores what you value, including your boundaries, that’s concerning,” she says.

9. You Feel Happy and Supported

Once the initial elation of a new relationship wears off, check in with yourself: Do you feel happy and supported by your partner? How are your mood and self-esteem? If you feel any strain or lack of support, talk to your significant other — it’s the healthy thing to do.

Feeling unhappy in a relationship can lead to health problems down the road. According to a study from 2015, which looked at nearly 5,000 adults over age 50 who were partnered up, having regular negative interactions in a relationship increases the likelihood of suffering from depression and anxiety, and is even linked to suicidal thoughts, likely because relationship dysfunction drives up day-to-day stress. On the other hand, strong partnerships protect people when they’re in the midst of a crisis — exactly the time they need someone on their side.

Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking

  • Hudson NW, Lucas RE, Donnellan MB. The Highs and Lows of Love: Romantic Relationship Quality Moderates Whether Spending Time With One’s Partner Predicts Gains or Losses in Well-Being. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. April 2020.
  • Santini ZI, Koyanagi A. Tyrovolas S, Haro, JM. The Association of Relationship Quality and Social Networks With Depression, Anxiety, and Suicidal Ideation Among Older Married Adults: Findings From a Cross-Sectional Analysis of the Irish Longitudinal Study on Ageing (TILDA). Journal of Affective Disorders. July 1, 2015.

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How to bring a woman to orgasm

18+

In addition to the G-spot, women have four more zones of pleasure.

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Helpful Hints

Sex

IMDB.com

Point A

Occurs in 11 percent of women do not reach the cervix. Right in front of it, you will find point A. Move your finger left and right along this zone, imitating the movements of a janitor on the windshield. Do you feel some kind of seal with a spongy surface with your finger? This means that you have not yet reached your destination, and this is point G that you met along the way. Remember this place, and then move a couple of centimeters deeper, to point A.

How to Wake Up: “The vagina only responds to pressure or movement, just getting to the right place and freezing in it will not be enough,” says sexologist Dr. Jennifer Berman with conviction and insistence. Proceed as follows: use lubrication, do not forget about a long foreplay, and then apply the “hook and pull” technique: reach point A with the pad of your finger, slightly press the “button” and slide your finger up to the entrance.

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O-spot

Occurs in eight percent of women

How to find: did you find her G-spot? It is done? Now turn your finger over, touch the opposite wall and move a little deeper until you feel a spongy area on the back wall of the vagina. Hello, this is point O. It is good both in itself and as a hint for the further development of relations.

How to Wake Up: When a girl is turned on, try the “hook and pull” technique on the O and G points at the same time. Fold the brushes back to each other so that one palm looks up and the other down. Then stick both index fingers into the vagina, so you can stimulate both the anterior and posterior walls of the vagina. They say it will end with an orgasm pretty quickly. A simpler option: rhythmically press the point O, as if stroking it.

Cervix

Sensitive in 7.5 percent of women

How to Find: With deep penetration, you can reach her cervix with your penis. “It feels like you’re hitting the cartilaginous tip of your nose,” sexologist Lisa Masterson from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center (Los Angeles) is not very romantic, but extremely specific. In most women, the cervix is ​​at a depth of 8.9-11.4 centimeters, but this lady is not yet excited. Keep in mind: when blood rushes to the genitals, the cervix moves even deeper into the body. But you can still reach it.

How to wake up: follow your friend’s monthly cycle: around the ovulation area (usually 13-16 days after the start of the last menstruation), stimulation of the cervix can be especially pleasant. Move around this area with one or two fingers, and when you touch the neck itself, gently and gently apply pressure. If your fingers are not long enough, you can use a vibrator with a wide head.

Pelvic floor muscles

12 percent of women use them to orgasm

How to find: Of course, you won’t be able to touch them, but you have seen them at work more than once: the convulsions in which a woman who has received pleasure beats are provided precisely by the contraction of these muscles. Note: A 2014 Brazilian study found that young women with strong pelvic floor muscles were more likely to reach orgasm. Why? If these muscles are in good shape, they can contract during sex without getting tired, pushing her to discharge. Help your girl train invisible muscles.

How to wake up: your partner probably already knows the most effective way – Kegel exercises. Diversify them. Buy a set of vaginal balls, these will be your exercise machines. Lubricate one, place it inside the partner’s vagina and see if she can keep the ball inside with the force of her muscles. Then add a second one. The balls not only excite but also strengthen her muscles and stimulate the G-spot.0003

How to make sex more enjoyable: try these 5 ideas Semashko is a sexologist-psychotherapist of the highest category, senior lecturer at the Department of Psychology of Perm State National Research University. According to the expert, the need for a female orgasm is simply discussed a lot in popular culture. In fact, for different genders, its significance is different. Thus, female sexuality and orgasm in general are very psychologized.

Being in love is one of the factors influencing female sexuality. She has a desire to dress up and completely surrender to her man

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MIF No. 1. A woman in the process of sex must get an orgasm

– men come to me more often – they believe that the partner “really needs” to get sexual satisfaction in the process, and therefore make every effort for this. Apparently, the female orgasm has become a new sign of masculinity. Even 100 years ago, no one bothered with it at all, but now everyone, on the contrary, is trying. As a result, many women develop a sexual neurosis on the grounds that she “must come.” She begins to keep this thought in her head all the time, and after that she generally no longer receives any pleasure from sex. It must be remembered that female sexuality is not tied solely to orgasms. Everything is important for us: touches, gentle words, and, finally, the realization that we have pleased the beloved man.

Women’s sexuality is multifaceted: in bed, not only tactile sensations are important for her, but also gentle words and partner’s attention

man

— If, for example, the lovers had a long foreplay and the woman is well “warmed up”, then with the help of, for example, clitoral stimulation, she can easily reach orgasm. In addition, much depends on the sexual constitution. But the main thing here is not to overdo it. Some partners start to be too active. Advice for men: no need to start stimulating all erogenous zones at once. In order to surrender, a woman needs to feel safe. Therefore, the words go first, not the hands. No wonder they say that “a woman loves with her ears.” Compliments and gentle phrases are needed. Then, when she feels like the one and only, touches are used.

In order to surrender to a man, a woman needs to feel safe

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Myth #3. Nature does not provide for a female orgasm. This is an “achievement” of evolution

– Not so long ago it was believed that a woman should have sex solely for the sake of procreation. The science of “sexology” at the beginning of the 20th century studied precisely male sexual behavior. But everything changed after the role of women in society began to change. Now it is already known: nature has given a woman an even greater gift than her partner. Namely, the opportunity to receive multiple pleasure. She got all this for the trials that she will face before – within nine months – and after the birth. Therefore, nature arranged so that a woman could get as much pleasure as possible – including from the fact that a woman “plays” with a man, attracts his attention, lures him. It’s just that few people thought about it before.

Myth № 4. Falling in love influences the brightness of female orgasm

— Being in love really has a positive effect on the female psyche. A woman becomes more excited, it is easier for her to relax. Although it happens differently. As for sex, in this state she “gives herself” much easier – that is, she does not just agree, but wants it herself. The woman is sure that she is safe, she does not have any “blocks”.

Sometimes men can overdo it in their desire to please a woman. Tip – let the woman decide for herself whether to cum or not

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Myth № 5. If a woman does not experience an orgasm, then the man is to blame

— As a rule, when a woman masturbates, everything always works out. In order for everything to be fine with a man, it is necessary that there are no psychological blocks. So the words that “it’s not about you, it’s about me” work here more than ever. A woman can get tired, she can be distracted by constant thoughts, worries and worries – about children, work. If a man’s brain is mostly focused on a partner, then a woman’s attention can be scattered on several things at once.

Myth No. 6. A woman who has given birth has a brighter orgasm than a childless woman

— I would not say that this is so. Over time, after childbirth, the body returns to normal – now many simulators are being sold that help to tidy up the vaginal muscles. People say – “you give birth, and then get satisfaction from sex.” This, to put it mildly, has little to do with reality. Many after childbirth, on the contrary, experience problems with sexuality.

Women’s sexuality began to be studied quite recently: even 100 years ago, only male dignity received attention from scientists

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Myth № 7. Only the G-spot can give the strongest orgasm. Of course, its existence is not a myth. In science, it is called the “trigger” zone. It is located on the inner wall of the vagina, where the largest number of neuroreceptors is concentrated. Therefore, apparently, it is believed that its stimulation causes a fantastic ecstasy. Some even special operations are done to make it more sensitive. But to say that in all women the stimulation of this part of the vagina causes an orgasm, it is impossible. In 80% of women, the clitoris and labia minora are responsible for orgasm. In addition, there are so many erogenous zones in a woman’s body – in the area of ​​\u200b\u200bthe cervix, for example. Everything is very individual, so our men should not furiously look for this particular point.

The G-spot is not a myth, but in order to please a woman, it is not necessary to seek it furiously

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Myth No. 8. Anal sex does not give a woman an orgasm

– Ask your partner first Is she ready for this turn of events? When they ask me if it is possible to have sex in this way, I answer: “It is possible. But you don’t have to.” Still, this hole is not intended for this. So it is not necessary to engage in penetration – a slight stimulation is enough. Exotic elements in sex should be in moderation – like seasoning for food. You will not constantly eat hot peppers. Anal sex has a lot of risks – from physiological (cracks in the rectum, hemorrhoids) to psychological – this method can cause rejection in a partner.

Myth No. 9. If a woman does not experience an orgasm for a long time, she becomes hysterical. But irritability from tension in personal relationships, including sexual ones, can be. Women’s sexuality is purely psychological. Most likely, a woman will be nervous not from the lack of an orgasm – she will masturbate herself if necessary – but from the absence of a man in her life.

For peace of mind, a woman needs not just an orgasm, but a good person nearby

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Myth № 10.