How to make woman orgasam: The Female Climax, Orgasm, and Pleasure
The Female Climax, Orgasm, and Pleasure
Women can achieve orgasm through a number of different means and types of stimulation.
By Cheryl Alkon and Andrea AtkinsMedically Reviewed by Allison Young, MD
Reviewed:
Medically Reviewed
The female orgasm continues to be the subject of intense scientific interest. Doctors puzzle over the different means by which women can achieve orgasm and the things that can prevent orgasm in women.
Orgasm in Women: What Happens, Exactly?
When women do climax, “there are changes throughout the whole body, a head-to-toe kind of experience,” says Michael Ingber, MD, a physician in urology and female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery at the Atlantic Health System in Morristown, New Jersey, and a fellow of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health.
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How Women Achieve Orgasm
One of the ways women can experience orgasm is through a goal-oriented four-step process first described by the sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson decades ago.
- Excitement In this state of desire or arousal, the woman initiates or agrees to sex, and as it commences she finds herself focusing mainly on sexual stimuli. Blood begins to engorge the clitoris, vagina, and nipples, and creates a full-body sexual blush. Heart rate and blood pressure increase. Testosterone and neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin are involved in these processes, says Dr. Ingber.
- Plateau Sexual tension builds as a precursor to orgasm. The outer one-third of the vagina becomes particularly engorged with blood, creating what researchers refer to as the “orgasmic platform.” Focus on sexual stimuli drowns out all other sensations. Heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration continue to increase.
- Orgasm A series of rhythmic contractions occur in the uterus, vagina, and pelvic floor muscles. The sexual tension caused by lovemaking or self-stimulation releases, and muscles throughout the body may contract.
A feeling of warmth usually emanates from the pelvis and spreads throughout the entire body. - Resolution The body relaxes, with blood flowing away from the engorged sexual organs. Heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration return to normal.
A feeling of warmth usually emanates from the pelvis and spreads throughout the entire body.RELATED: Better Sex: How to Enhance Intimate Sexual Experiences
The Orgasm Gap
While researchers have carefully studied what happens to women during orgasm, they have also taken note that women do not have orgasms as often as men do in heterosexual sexual encounters. This is known as the “orgasm gap” and is a well-documented phenomenon among those who study sexuality. However, a recent study by doctoral student Grace Wetzel showed that women who don’t have orgasms begin to believe that they are not going to have them and then indeed have fewer of them. This self-fulfilling sexual prophecy leads them to not prioritize their orgasms, which may make their sex lives less satisfying.
“The more orgasms that you have in your relationship, the more you expect to have and the more you want or desire them in that relationship,” Wetzel says. “The lower frequency of the orgasm gap disadvantages women, which may explain why women devalue orgasms. And that’s significant because if they place less emphasis on the orgasm, then they’ll have less pleasure. And if they continue to orgasm less and expect less, then the cycle will perpetuate.” And as orgasm is one of the biggest predictors of sexual satisfaction and consequently a satisfactory relationship, Wetzel says, “there are benefits to working on this within people’s relationships.”
How do you close the orgasm gap? You need to emphasize sexual communication between partners, prioritize clitoral stimulation for couples and de-emphasize the idea that biology stands in the way of a woman’s climax. “It’s not that women are ‘difficult’ to bring to orgasm,” Wetzel says, adding that there’s nothing about their anatomy, genetics, or hormones that keeps women from orgasms — most women are able to have orgasms when they masturbate.
Women should take the technique that works best for them in masturbation and bring that to their partnered sex.
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Different Types of Stimulation, Different Types of Orgasm
Women are blessed with bodies that are capable of experiencing orgasm in more ways than one.
Some researchers believe that there are as many as 12 types of female orgasms. The most common type is a “clitoral” orgasm, says Ingber.
Clitoral stimulation has been proved the surest route to orgasm. “I think that clitoral stimulation [produces] probably the closest analogue to male orgasm, where you get erectile tissue, there is release, and after release it is uncomfortable to continue,” says Steven R. Goldstein, MD, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the New York University Grossman School of Medicine.
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Vaginal Stimulation, the G-Spot, and Intense Sexual Pleasure
But some women can also experience orgasm through vaginal stimulation.
One group of researchers credit the G-spot, an area named and described by Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, a professor emerita at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey, and a past president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).
The G-spot is an area felt through the wall of the vagina, an inch or two behind the back of the pubic bone near the junction of the bladder and the urethra and made up of tissues of the clitoris, urethra, and the female prostate gland, says Dr. Whipple. Some researchers believe that when stimulated, the G-spot causes intense sexual pleasure in some women; others question whether women can feel such pleasure at this location at all.
Achieving Female Orgasm: Tips for Partners
Sensory Pathways, Stimulation, and Orgasm Generation
Women also have been able to have orgasms through stimulation of the breasts or other parts of the body, or through the use of sexual imagery without any touch at all.
Researchers have even found a nerve pathway outside the spinal cord, through the sensory vagus nerve, that will lead a woman to experience orgasm through sensations transmitted directly to the brain. “There are many nerve pathways that are responsible for the experience of orgasm in women,” says Whipple.
The Female Orgasm: Problems Getting There
While there are physical problems that can keep a woman from experiencing orgasm, emotions can play a role, too. Some sex researchers say that anxiety and depression can prevent a woman from progressing along the sexual response cycle, says Ingber. Feelings of fear, guilt, distraction, or a loss of control can also affect orgasm. Similarly to men with erectile dysfunction, women can sometimes have problems achieving or maintaining adequate blood flow, says Ingber.
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Treatments and Therapies to Help Women Reach Orgasm
It is estimated that as many as a quarter of American women have problems experiencing orgasm.
Doctors and sex therapists use several types of therapies to help women overcome these blocks to orgasm. Directed masturbation, sex education, and behavioral therapy are some of the means a woman might want to investigate if she cannot reach climax. Women may also want to try using a vibrator to provide increased clitoral stimulation, or a dildo crafted to provide better stimulation of the G-spot.
RELATED: The Best Sexual Techniques for Women’s Arousal and Pleasure
Interventions to Consider for Problems With Orgasm
If behavioral methods are not working and a woman is interested in other intervention, there are solutions better researched for male erectile dysfunction that may help.
Ingber says that “for women having trouble with arousal, similar to men, Viagra [sildenafil] can be used,” he says. “Additionally, vacuum erection devices such as the Fiera can be used in order to improve libido and arousal. This applies gentle suction to the clitoris.
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You may also want to consider acupuncture. Sexuality is a complex intersection of biological, psychological, spiritual, and other factors. Some people believe that traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) may be better than Western medicine in addressing these complexities. In fact, acupuncture is one of the most common treatments used in TCM to help improve a man or a woman’s sexual health.
What Acupuncture Treatments Can Do for You and Your Sex Drive
“Acupuncture is a simple and relatively safe way of restoring qi to those who are deficient,” says Baljit Khamba, ND, an assistant professor of naturopathic medicine at Bastyr University California and a naturopathic doctor in San Diego, referring to the life energy Chinese medicine practitioners believe enhances health and libido.
RELATED: Acupuncture Helps Boost Your Sex Drive, Sex Life, and Pleasure
Medical Treatments for Women With Low Sexual Desire
For postmenopausal women who have little sexual desire and who have had other psychosocial and medical causes of decreased libido ruled out, an off-label use of topical testosterone may be helpful.
Ingber notes that a number of studies have shown it is safe and effective, though as this review in the Journal of Women’s Health points out, the long-term effects on cardiovascular risk and breast cancer incidence are not yet known. The International Society for the Study of Women’s Health endorses testosterone therapy for postmenopausal women and notes that limited data also supports the use in late reproductive age premenopausal women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).
For premenopausal women with HSDD, a therapy approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) called flibanserin ( Addyi) or bremelanotide (Vyleesi ) may be effective, says Ingber. The former is a daily pill, and the latter is an injectable medicine that women can use as needed, he adds.
Consulting a sex therapist could also be very helpful. Sex therapists are licensed, specially trained counselors who may be psychologists, psychiatrists, or other mental health professionals. They aim to help you get to the bottom of your sexual issues.
Your therapist will help you work through emotional issues that may be contributing to sexual issues, according to Drogo Montague, MD, a urologist at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. The couple may also explore issues causing relationship stress, he adds.
RELATED: Sex Therapy: What Men and Women Should Know
Additional reporting by Dennis Thompson Jr.
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Sexual Technique Terms Help Optimize Sexual Pleasure
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After analyzing the results from an international qualitative study, the researchers, Devon J. Hensel, PhD, an associate research professor at Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis, and Christiana von Hippel, ScD, an OMGYES research scientist, found a recurring pattern of four specific techniques that never really had words to describe them before. The team then looked closer into these four techniques using a cross-sectional, online, national probability survey of 3,017 American women ages 18–93.
“We took this deeper dive into the patterns to find out the percentage of women who used each technique during vaginal penetration and then looked at how those specific techniques impacted their pleasure,” says Dr. von Hippel. In other words, they looked at the specific sexual moves and methods that turned them on.
RELATED: Women and Orgasm: Facts About the Female Climax
The researchers gave terms for each of these sexual methods to help women identify and communicate what feels best to them.
- Angling Rotating, raising, or lowering pelvis and hips during penetration to adjust where inside the vagina the toy or penis rubs; 87 percent of respondents used this method.
- Pairing A woman or her partner stimulates her clitoris with a finger or sex toy simultaneously with penetration. (69 percent)
- Rocking The base of a penis or sex toy rubs against the clitoris constantly during penetration by staying all the way inside the vagina rather than thrusting in and out. Usually used when the woman is on top. One of the respondents explained its allure: “We had to ‘unlearn’ the fast-pumping motions we had seen in porn. And we’re both much happier with our new ways.” (76 percent)
- Shallowing Penetrative touch just inside the entrance of the vagina. Another respondent said, “I think this area is really underrated. I can have really amazing sex with penetration just going in an inch and never further.” (84 percent)
Usually used when the woman is on top. One of the respondents explained its allure: “We had to ‘unlearn’ the fast-pumping motions we had seen in porn. And we’re both much happier with our new ways.” (76 percent)Using Language for Sexual Techniques Is Powerful
“I think naming pleasure and pleasure techniques are specifically empowering and usable, so women can feel comfortable and confident using them with partners. They are also important for when women discuss their sex lives with friends, such as ‘I like this, why don’t you try that?’ To be able to specifically describe what they like and to be able to ask for it is incredibly empowering and helps women to feel like their voices are heard.
There is also a normalizing effect as well when they realize that what they like is a pattern that’s shared by lots of women,” says von Hippel.
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Dr. von Hippel adds that having language also allows women to be flexible and describe what they want at the moment. “What you enjoy can change in the middle of a sexual experience, and it can change over your life. Having this large menu or repertoire of words and techniques that you can pull from is great, because then it’s also not a question of “I am a woman who likes x.’ It might be ‘I am a woman who loves pairing in this context and shallowing in this context and angling at this age.’ Women can feel confident to communicate and mix and match.”
A Step Forward in Sexual Pleasure Education for Women
When Lou Paget, an American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists certified sex educator, heard of this new study her first response was, “Finally! It’s about time!”
Paget went on to explain, “I have been hearing women describe this stuff in my seminars for years but there really hasn’t been any guidance on how you do it.
The main reason for that is because so much of the research work has always focused on the penile, vaginal, and men’s response.”
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Even if both partners are female, the two of them may not have had the language to communicate needs to each other. These words open that door.
Partners Can Learn About Pleasuring Others, Too
Paget also points out that the top question most men ask her is: How can he make things more pleasurable for his partner? “Men are so hungry for what they can do to make a partner feel good. They enjoy it more if she enjoys it more. Having language that can quickly describe what she likes is empowering to them as well,” says Paget, who is also the author of five books on sexuality, including Orgasms.
Clitoral Stimulation Is Key
Paget notes that all four techniques are connected to stimulating the clitoris at the same time.
“This should not be any shock to any woman. For most, it isn’t the vaginal penetration that’s the most satisfying. That may feel good for feeling filled and connected to a partner. But it’s the shallowing, the rocking; those are all things that women have been doing for forever, that really bring women extreme pleasure,” she points out.
Again, this is important for men to know as well. “They have been fed misinformation from society at large and from watching unrealistic porn, where the women are usually deriving all their pleasure from penetration. Men need to learn the importance of clitoral stimulation as well,” she adds.
Achieving Female Orgasm: Tips for Partners
Experiment With Sex Toys That Work With Specific Techniques
When you figure out what you like, sex toys can help you get there either alone or with a partner. Tatyana Dyachenko, a sex coach with the online sex shop Peaches and Screams, reveals what types of toys work best with each technique.
For angling Sex swings allow the woman to rotate, raise, or lower her pelvis on the penetration item to allow for maximum pleasure.
For pairing A silicone mini finger vibrator stimulates your clitoris during penetration; a strap-on face dildo allows your partner to penetrate you while also using their tongue to stimulate the clitoris.
For rocking A raised ribbed “cock” sleeve with a clitoral stimulator and vibrator works for both parties: It helps thicken and support the penis for more firm erections, and the female partner can rub herself against the clitoral stimulator while being penetrated. Or, a vibrating clitoral stimulator delivers direct stimulation.
For shallowing Vibrating balls or eggs are inserted just inside the vagina without the need for deep penetration.
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More Research on Sexual Pleasure Is Needed
This survey did not ask women’s partners for feedback, which the team hopes to look at in the future.
Von Hippel says, “What’s often really interesting is how the communication happens, how the names of the techniques are used and how partners feel about that. OMGYES has been hearing from couples or just the men that this has really changed the way they are able to connect and communicate, and he feels like he understands her more. For the first time, even though they maybe have been together for 20 years, something has finally clicked by having these words and having looked at the techniques together. Now they know there are always new things to explore, and the specifics of what feels good to her and how he can support her.”
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How to bring a woman to orgasm
18+
In addition to the G-spot, women have four more zones of pleasure.
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Helpful Hints
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Point A
Occurs in 11 percent of women do not reach the cervix.
Right in front of it, you will find point A. Move your finger left and right along this zone, imitating the movements of a janitor on the windshield. Do you feel some kind of seal with a spongy surface with your finger? This means that you have not yet reached your destination, and this is point G that you met along the way. Remember this place, and then move a couple of centimeters deeper, to point A.
How to Wake Up: “The vagina only responds to pressure or movement, just getting to the right place and freezing in it will not be enough,” says sexologist Dr. Jennifer Berman with conviction and insistence. Proceed as follows: use lubrication, do not forget about a long foreplay, and then apply the “hook and pull” technique: reach point A with the pad of your finger, slightly press the “button” and slide your finger up to the entrance.
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O-spot
Occurs in eight percent of women
How to find: did you find her G-spot? It is done? Now turn your finger over, touch the opposite wall and move a little deeper until you feel a spongy area on the back wall of the vagina.
Hello, this is point O. It is good both in itself and as a hint for the further development of relations.
How to Wake Up: When a girl is turned on, try the “hook and pull” technique on the O and G points at the same time. Fold the brushes back to each other so that one palm looks up and the other down. Then stick both index fingers into the vagina, so you can stimulate both the anterior and posterior walls of the vagina. They say it will end with an orgasm pretty quickly. A simpler option: rhythmically press the point O, as if stroking it.
Cervix
Sensitive in 7.5 percent of women
How to Find: With deep penetration, you can reach her cervix with your penis. “It feels like you’re hitting the cartilaginous tip of your nose,” sexologist Lisa Masterson from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center (Los Angeles) is not very romantic, but extremely specific. In most women, the cervix is at a depth of 8.9-11.4 centimeters, but this lady is not yet excited.
Keep in mind: when blood rushes to the genitals, the cervix moves even deeper into the body. But you can still reach it.
How to wake up: follow your friend’s monthly cycle: around the ovulation area (usually 13-16 days after the start of the last menstruation), stimulation of the cervix can be especially pleasant. Move around this area with one or two fingers, and when you touch the neck itself, gently and gently apply pressure. If your fingers are not long enough, you can use a vibrator with a wide head.
Pelvic floor muscles
12 percent of women use them to orgasm
How to find: Of course, you won’t be able to touch them, but you have seen them at work more than once: the convulsions in which a woman who has received pleasure beats are provided precisely by the contraction of these muscles. Note: A 2014 Brazilian study found that young women with strong pelvic floor muscles were more likely to reach orgasm.
Why? If these muscles are in good shape, they can contract during sex without getting tired, pushing her to discharge. Help your girl train invisible muscles.
How to wake up: your partner probably already knows the most effective way – Kegel exercises. Diversify them. Buy a set of vaginal balls, these will be your exercise machines. Lubricate one, place it inside the partner’s vagina and see if she can keep the ball inside with the force of her muscles. Then add a second one. The balls not only excite but also strengthen her muscles and stimulate the G-spot.0003
How to make sex more enjoyable: try these 5 ideas
Aiza turned to inexperienced men
Aiza Dolmatova
Orgasm
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female sexuality
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Aiza Dolmatova gave intimate advice to men. The TV presenter also tried to teach women how to fake an orgasm.
The ex-wife of rapper Guf (Aleksey Dolmatov) is raising two children. Married to the artist, Isa gave birth to a son, Sam. In the second union, with Dmitry Anokhin, the youngest son, Elvis, was born to the TV personality. Aiza speaks openly about the intimate aspects of life and shares her experience of relationships, including sexual ones.
Dolmatova does not hide the fact that she is not always honest with her partners. “Women, let’s face the sad truth already and admit to ourselves and our partner that we are not getting an orgasm! But we are willing to imitate it!” – said the rapper. She advised the girls to negotiate with partners, to speak without fear and embarrassment about what they like.
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Aiza also turned to inexperienced men. “Do not start sex abruptly, do not deprive women “without orgasm” of even small amenities,” Dolmatova explained. She clarified that she meant those partners who experienced pleasure during masturbation or oral sex.
Speaking about the imitation of orgasm, the model referred to the book “Empire V” by Viktor Pelevin. “If a woman, after the third friction, begins to breathe noisily, rolls her eyes and screams unnaturally, this means that she is behaving insincerely and working on a social project while her partner is working on a biological one,” the passage says.
The star of the reality show “Aiza Super” assured that it is not necessary to be very emotional in order to calm a partner. “If you don’t want to look like the star of a cheap Polish adult movie in the eyes of an experienced man, then behave more naturally when imitating: don’t scream, convulse in an attempt to convince your man that he is the god of sex, and you have reached the peak of orgasmic Olympus ”, — said 36-year-old Dolmatova.
She urged Russian women to talk to men in order to move from imitation to reality. “The best way to achieve orgasm is to use the tongue. And I mean a conversation, ”the instadiva assured in a conversation with People.