How to make woman orgasim: Sex Drive: Why It Is Important to Overall Health
How many types of orgasm are there?
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Orgasms are difficult to study.
Similar to studying mood or pain, female* orgasms need to be interpreted through not just biological mechanisms but also psychological, sociological and historical trends.
Historically, in Western countries, female orgasms have been highly scrutinized. Orgasms were sometimes seen as unhealthy or wrong. And orgasms that are achieved through stimulation that is not heterosexual vaginal intercourse have been considered unacceptable by researchers and doctors (1,2).
The viewpoint that some orgasms were superior to others has been supported by healthcare professionals.
Sigmund Freud popularized the idea that mature women experience vaginal orgasm while immature women enjoyed clitoral stimulation (1-3).
The importance of vaginal orgasm became so rooted in 20th-century health that an inability to reach orgasm through heterosexual penetrative sex became part of a diagnosable condition in the DSM III (i.e. psychology and psychiatry’s diagnostic book) (4).
Although most healthcare professionals no longer consider inability for penetrative sex to induce orgasm to be a problem (unless their patients are distressed by it), many people feel that orgasm is a requirement for happy, meaningful and/or fulfilling sex (2). Some people also feel that orgasms should be reserved for sex, as opposed to experiencing orgasm during masturbation (1). Orgasm is great, but feeling pressure to have an orgasm, or a certain type of orgasm at a certain time, can make sex stressful and unpleasant.
The historical and social aspects of orgasm can obscure research
Researchers may bias respondents’ answers by asking questions that imply that an orgasm type exists.
Relatedly, there is a disagreement among some sex researchers about how to classify orgasms (3,5). For example, if stimulation of a non-genital body part causes the genitals to become aroused and the person experiences an orgasm, did the stimulation of the non-genitals cause the orgasm, or was it the arousal of the genitals that caused the orgasm?
Even if a researcher were to do a study using tools that measure arousal, this doesn’t avoid all problems.
People with female genitals have been shown to experience arousal in their genitals but not report arousal to researchers, suggesting that bodily arousal is insufficient indicator of sexual interest or pleasure (5).
Compounding researcher problems are problems of gathering participants for sex and orgasm studies. Enrolling participants in a study is always tricky, but when someone studies a topic that is potentially considered taboo or private, it can be difficult to ensure that your sample is representative of all people in all cultures (this is also called external validity). It also may be difficult for participants to accurately remember or know where and how they were stimulated to cause orgasm (5).
So given all these issues, why talk about orgasms at all?
Given the large amount of social and media commentary on orgasm, it’s important to understand how our bodies and the bodies of our partners actually work so that we can help reduce stigma and stress during sex. In the process, we may learn a thing or two on how to make sex more enjoyable.
The different types of female orgasms
Different types or different stimuli?
There are many pop-science articles (i.e. articles not published in a research journal) that claim there are anywhere from four to 15 different types of orgasms. As mentioned before, there’s a lot of debate as to how to classify female orgasms. However, there’s little evidence to support the idea that different stimuli reliably (i.e. repeatedly, under experimental conditions) cause different types of female orgasms or different intensity of orgasms. Most people report that “some orgasms are better than others” (6), but this doesn’t necessarily seem to be related to the stimuli that cause that orgasm.
your body and women’s health
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The clitoris contains a bundle of nerve endings and is located in the front of the female vulva and under the clitoral hood (i.e. the triangle part of female genitals that connects to the labia) (3). The clitoris, similar to a penis, will swell, enlarge and become more sensitive as a person becomes more sexually aroused (3,5).
Stimulation of the clitoris is probably the easiest way for most people to experience an orgasm. In a 2017 study of over 1,000 women from the US, about 7 out of 10 people who had heterosexual sex said that they required clitoral stimulation to orgasm during that sex or that clitoral stimulation improved orgasms even if they didn’t require it to orgasm (6,7).
The type of clitoral stimulation preferred varied among the women in the study, though many women reported enjoying direct clitoral stimulation and stimulation that involved making circles or “up-and-down” movement (6).
That being said, there was a wide diversity in answers regarding how and in which ways a person liked having their clitoris stimulated, with even a few people saying they didn’t like direct contact at all (6).
A vaginally-stimulated orgasm is an orgasm that occurs through intentional stimulation of only the vagina. Although the clitoris or other body parts may be accidentally touched in the process, to have a “vaginal orgasm” there would be no intentional stimulation of other body parts.
In the same study described above, less than 1 in 5 women reported being able to orgasm through vaginal stimulation without clitoral stimulation (6).
The ability to orgasm from only vaginal sex may be related to the G-spot, though that is up for debate. The G-spot is not well understood (5,8,9). The G-spot may be its own structure, but it has also been argued that the G-spot is actually a retracted or enlarged clitoris or is a set of nerve endings attached to the clitoris (5,8,9). It’s also argued that the G-spot doesn’t exist at all (3,5). Regardless, there isn’t evidence to suggest that an orgasm from penetration-only is somehow superior to other forms of orgasm; in fact, intentional clitoral stimulation may make orgasm better than penetration-only orgasm (6).
Stimulation of other body parts
There is less research into orgasms caused by stimulation of body parts that aren’t the genitals. Because many of these studies are small and aren’t all recent (10), the proportions of people reporting these types of orgasms may not be representative of the rate we would find in a large, representative survey. That being said, these studies do suggest that people don’t necessarily need to directly stimulate their clitoris or vagina to experience an orgasm.
Some studies have found that people can experience orgasm through stimulation of the mouth, nipples, breasts, anus, and skin surrounding an injury (6,10).
Research with participants who have severe injuries to the spinal cord and with participants who have epileptic seizures suggest that there are orgasmic experiences that may be induced without direct incorporation of the genitals (10).
Orgasms outside of sex
Arousal of the genitals and even orgasm itself aren’t necessarily just experiences that happen during sex.
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Exercise, especially weight training, cardio, and abdominal-focused exercise, can induce orgasms (sometimes called coregasms in pop-science) and other positive genital stimulation (11). This makes sense biologically, as both exercise and sex can stimulate the muscles around the genitals and can lead to increased blood flow to the area of the body. Exercise may also influence our mood via endorphins and other neurotransmitters (12), similar to sex and orgasm (13).
Orgasms during sleep
Many people experience sexual arousal or orgasm during sleep (10). It’s difficult to say what or how exactly this happens. Because reporting from dreams can be unreliable, it’s difficult to say if all arousal and orgasms during sleep are caused by sexual dreams (10,11). Similarly, no research has currently looked at whether people were unconsciously stimulating their bodies during sleep or were being stimulated by bedding or other objects, so we’re not currently able to say if orgasms during sleep happen entirely unaided from stimulation (10).
The goal of many orgasm-themed articles is to help people enjoy their orgasm or gain new experiences. Although there’s little evidence to suggest that orgasm from any particular type of stimulation is better than another, there are some suggestions in the literature on factors that increase or change our orgasmic experience. In the published literature, people reported that orgasms and sexual arousal were enhanced by:
touching or stimulating nipples, breasts, or the anus (6,10,14),
engaging in new positions, types of sex, or new behaviors (6,15)
A happy sex life
Although portrayals of orgasm in media, partners’ expectations for our orgasms, and our own interest in experiencing orgasm can make us feel like we need to have an orgasm every time we have sex (2), a happy sex life doesn’t necessarily mean having a mind-blowing orgasm during every sexual experience. Many people report that not all orgasms are the same (6), which makes sense—our minds and bodies change from day to day (due to mood, health, stress levels, etc.), and so it’s unrealistic to expect any type of stimulation to elicit the same experience every time. Orgasm is just one of many important elements to sexual satisfaction.
*Note: This article uses the term female and male to refer to cis-gendered sexual anatomy. A person with entirely or partially female genitals may or may not be female as their gender, and a person with entirely or partially male genitals may or may not be male as their gender. There are also people with a mix of both male and female genitals, but unfortunately not a lot of research has been done with this population. I’m using the terms male and female to describe sexual organs because there is little agreement on other terms to use.
Article was originally published May 20, 2018.
There’s Help for Women Who Can’t Achieve Orgasm – Health Essentials from Cleveland Clinic
We don’t often think about what needs to happen to go from arousal to a satisfying orgasm. Your mind needs to stay clear and focused, your nerves sensitive and blood needs to flow to all the right places. There’s a mental, emotional and physical aspect to sex, and unfortunately a variety of problems can interfere.
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women find they cannot climax during penile-vaginal sex. If a woman has never
climaxed in her adult life, we call it primary orgasmic dysfunction. If she had
been able to climax in the past, but now finds it difficult or impossible, we
call it secondary orgasmic dysfunction.
Only 10% of women easily climax. Most women are in the remaining 80 to 90%. I see many women in my practice who feel relief just to know they are “normal” when they have trouble climaxing with just vaginal sex but can climax with direct clitoral stimulation. It’s unfortunate that many women think they are not normal if they cannot climax solely through vaginal intercourse. Most women can not! It is important to relax and know that you are normal.
Do you know where your erogenous zones are?
help with being able to climax, it is important for a woman to know where her
erogenous zones are. She should also communicate about them with her partner.
Various parts of a woman’s body respond to touch and stimulation, such as the
face, lips and neck.
woman’s most sensitive erogenous zones include:
- “G-spot,” the anterior part of the lower vagina
- “ClitGVa,” the clitoris, G-spot and the vagina
who have been able to climax without difficulty in the past but now are having
trouble need an evaluation. I take their history and then I do a physical and a
hormonal and medication evaluation.
Often, one or more of the following is a culprit:
• Medicines, including antidepressants/selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI)
• Hormonal deficiency (This is very common, especially after menopause)
• Partner issues
• Medical problems, such as diabetes and hypertension
• Lack of exercise
• Sleep disorders
Treating orgasmic dysfunction
treat orgasmic dysfunction, off-label oral prescription bupropion can help.
Viagra may also work. In particular, it can work as an off-label treatment to
help women who are on SSRI antidepressants.
Some doctors will also prescribe off-label “Scream Cream” made by a compounding pharmacy. This cream includes a variety of topical medications. When a woman applies it to the clitoris, it increases blood flow and helps promote an orgasm.
Women can use this cream alone or they can use it along with a stimulating device, such as the Intensity™ device, which is an FDA-approved pelvic electrical stimulating device. It stimulates the pelvic muscles that contract with climax and also provides direct clitoral stimulation. There is another device that is FDA-approved to treat orgasmic dysfunction, called the Eros device, which is only available through a doctor’s prescription.
important to note that there are other problems, besides orgasmic dysfunction,
that can affect women sexually and cause female sexual dysfunction. They
include low libido, painful sex, difficulty being aroused and even sexual aversion.
All of these issues are real. They can cause women a lot of distress and affect their relationships. But the good news is that treatments are available, which many women don’t realize.
By: Holly L. Thacker, MD
How to Orgasm: Have a Better Orgasm
Orgasms Feel Amazing
That’s a fact, though no superlative seems to do them justice. The mystery often lies in figuring out exactly how to trigger a Big O. These bliss-inducing muscle contractions can explode spontaneously during one sexual encounter, but at other times they require a superspecific setting (soft music, dimmed lights), body position (half pike with a twist), and technique (clockwise clitoral stimulation, please!) to set them off. And hitting the height of pleasure is no guarantee.
But sex researchers may be getting closer to figuring out the perfect peaking storm. In the past few years, a handful of scientists have started to make some important discoveries about what goes on inside your body and brain before, during, and after an orgasm. And the more you know, the more pleasure you can achieve.
Think about it like this: You can drive a car without grasping how an engine works. But if the car won’t start, understanding what’s going on under the hood could help you resolve the problem and get on the road faster. The same goes for getting a better handle on your body mechanics. Here’s what’s happening to your anatomy from arousal to afterglow…and how to use that info to intensify your satisfaction.
Laying the Groundwork for Liftoff
Foreplay, as you might well suspect, is crucial. During all that groping, kissing, and caressing, your nervous system starts taking notes and fires feel-good messages through the web of nerves that weave their way through your pelvis and up to your brain. This early stage is where a lot of women get tripped up because they can’t silence the voices in their heads (When was the last time I had a bikini wax? Am I prepared for that 8 a.m. meeting?) long enough to focus on the sensations.
To keep your mind from wandering out of the bedroom, Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First, suggests zeroing in on one of your senses: Focus on the smell of his skin, relish the feeling of his hands on your body, concentrate on how he tastes while you’re kissing. Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good, often advises fantasizing. “It sounds counterintuitive, but studies show that lapsing into a sexual fantasy can help a woman become and stay aroused,” she says. “Switching to a sexual mind-set makes you more physically responsive.”
When you’re turned on, your nerves communicate to your brain that it’s time to increase blood flow. The result: Your genitals become moist and engorged, and your breasts swell and nipples harden. The more engorged you are, the more sensitive you become to his touch, causing the nerves to fire back to the brain to pump more blood, creating an increasingly pleasurable loop, says Barry Komisaruk, Ph.D., an adjunct psychology professor at Rutgers University and coauthor of Orgasm Answer Guide.
Here’s the catch: Keeping that loop going requires patience—yours and his. While the amount of time it takes to reach peak arousal varies from woman to woman, Kerner says the average female requires 10 to 20 minutes of rhythmic manual or oral pressure. Women often speed up the process before they’re properly warmed up because they’re worried about taking too long. The truth is, guys get off on pleasing their mates. “Seeing a woman aroused boosts his testosterone levels, turning him on even more,” Kerner explains.
Getting in Prime Position
So, considering that the most important step on your path to ultimate pleasure may be learning to slow down, make sure you’re sufficiently primed before you progress to intercourse. “When you feel a throbbing sensation in your genitals or an intense pressure building on either side of the vaginal wall, it’s time to transition to sex. Get into a position that provides clitoral contact—try the coital alignment technique,” says Herbenick. Have your guy lie on top of you so that the base of his penis aligns with your clitoris, then push your pelvis up while he resists the pressure and moves his hips in a circular motion. Or try a position where he can touch your clitoris with his fingers, such as from behind or woman on top.
Groundbreaking research by Australian urologist Helen O’Connell, Ph.D., found that the clitoris actually extends way back into the pelvis and plays a significant role in both vaginal and G-spot orgasms (the G-spot is an especially nerve-rich spot on the frontal vaginal wall). Her research suggests that every climax is actually a blended orgasm. “Since all orgasms involve the clitoris, G-spot, and vagina, scientists don’t really differentiate between types anymore,” Herbenick notes.
When you experience an orgasm, an area of the brain called the paraventricular nucleus spills a wave of oxytocin into your bloodstream. As this neurohormone washes through your pelvic muscles, it causes a series of rhythmic contractions, at intervals of every .08 seconds. Your heart starts pumping extra oxygen to the pulsating parts to keep them humming along for about 20 seconds total.
These contractions will be even stronger if you do Kegel exercises (flexing the muscles that stop urination). Do 10 reps, holding each rep for 10 seconds, twice a day while you’re watching TV or doing just about anything. Many women treat Kegels like taking vitamins: It’s something they know they should do but tend to blow off. “To improve your orgasms, you need to commit to doing Kegels. They really work,” Herbenick says. Another easy orgasm enhancer? Breathing. While many women hold their breath during climax, doing so can reduce the sensation. Instead, take shallow, rapid breaths right up to and during your climax. “Quick breaths reduce blood levels of carbon dioxide, possibly making vaginal contractions more intense,” says Robert Fried, Ph.D., a professor of biopsychology at Hunter College who studies anxiety and breathing.
While your body is pumping out waves of tingly goodness, your mind falls into a contented trance. The nucleus accumbens, where the brain produces pleasurable feelings (including addictive ones like those you can get from nicotine or drugs), is activated, says Komisaruk. That’s why you may feel as if you can’t get enough of your partner—even one you’re lukewarm about—during pleasure. Meanwhile, the brain’s amygdala and prefrontal cortex, which process fear and anxiety, become less active, says neuroscientist Gert Holstege, Ph.D., a professor of uroneurology at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. “Our research found that women need to be in a relaxed, comfortable place in order to climax,” Holstege says. “The brain is built for survival and procreation. So when you’re having sex (even if it’s not to procreate), your brain gets the green light to orgasm when no danger or worry is present.”
Soon after an orgasm, your blood pressure and pulse settle down, and blood begins to retreat slowly from your genitals and for more. “One advantage women have over men is the ability to achieve multiple orgasms,” Herbenick says. “Blood drains from the penis rather quickly, but it stays longer in the vagina, which keeps a woman aroused.” Wait until your clitoris is less sensitive—it could take a few seconds or a few minutes—and then have him stimulate you manually or orally to start building to another peak.
According to Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of Why We Love, once you’ve filled your pleasure quota, you’ll probably fall into cuddle mode, because there’s still leftover oxytocin (the bonding hormone) floating around from your orgasm, making you feel especially attached to the person who brought you all that glory.
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Determinants of female sexual orgasms
The pursuit of sexual pleasure is a key motivating factor in sexual activity. Many things can stand in the way of sexual orgasms and enjoyment, particularly among women. These are essential issues of sexual well-being and gender equality.
This study presents long-term trends and determinants of female orgasms in Finland. The aim is to analyze the roles of factors such as the personal importance of orgasms, sexual desire, masturbation, clitoral and vaginal stimulation, sexual self-esteem, communication with partner, and partner’s sexual techniques.
In Finland, five national sex surveys that are based on random samples from the central population register have been conducted. They are representative of the total population within the age range of 18–54 years in 1971 (N=2,152), 18–74 years in 1992 (N=2,250), 18–81 years in 1999 (N=1,496), 18–74 years in 2007 (N=2,590), and 18–79 years in 2015 (N=2,150). Another dataset of 2,049 women in the age group of 18–70 years was collected in 2015 via a national Internet panel.
Contrary to expectations, women did not have orgasms that are more frequent by increasing their experience and practice of masturbation, or by experimenting with different partners in their lifetime. The keys to their more frequent orgasms lay in mental and relationship factors. These factors and capacities included orgasm importance, sexual desire, sexual self-esteem, and openness of sexual communication with partners. Women valued their partner’s orgasm more than their own. In addition, positive determinants were the ability to concentrate, mutual sexual initiations, and partner’s good sexual techniques. A relationship that felt good and worked well emotionally, and where sex was approached openly and appreciatively, promoted orgasms.
The findings indicate that women differ greatly from one another in terms of their tendency and capacity to experience orgasms. The improvements in gender equality and sexual education since the 1970s have not helped women to become more orgasmic. Neither has the major increase in masturbation habits (among women in general). One challenge for future studies is to understand why women value their partner’s orgasms more than their own.
Keywords: female orgasm, masturbation, determinants of orgasm, gender differences, sexual trends, communication, self-esteem, sexual desire, sexual techniques, good relationship
The pursuit of sexual pleasure is a key motivating factor in sexual activity. An orgasm is an effective indicator of sexual pleasure and healthy sexuality. In addition, orgasms are important predictors of happy relationships, and related sexual satisfaction. Without a doubt, a better understanding of the predictors of female sexual orgasms would be a most valuable achievement, and would be one key factor in improving equality among women, and gender equality (World Association for Sexual Health, 2014).
Previous studies have provided consistent results that men experience orgasms in intercourse considerably more frequently than women. More than 90% of men usually experience orgasm in their intercourse; among women, this proportion is only around 50% (Darling, Haavio-Mannila & Kontula, 2001; Kontula, 2009). This is a problematic observation from the perspective of both sexual rights and sexual health frameworks. Given the importance of orgasms to many people’s sexual health and pleasure, an increased focus on and understanding of women’s orgasm is valuable.
Although women have had more trouble than men in reaching orgasm, subjective descriptions of the event do not differ between genders (Meston, Levin, Sipski, Hull & Heiman, 2004).
The mental dimension of experiencing an orgasm seems very similar for both sexes. Meston, Levin, et al. (2004) reported that different studies have measured the duration of the female orgasm to be approximately 20–35 s. Both orgasm and vaginal stimulation have pain-suppressing effects (Komisaruk, Beyer-Flores & Whipple, 2006; Meston, Levin, Sipski, Hull & Heiman 2004).
Research has found that the capacity to experience orgasm during intercourse, and to a lesser extent in masturbation, is partly genetically determined (Dawood, Kirk, Bailey, Andrews & Martin, 2005; Dunn, Cherkas & Spector, 2005). An individual’s response to sexual pleasure during their life is a mixture of both the physical processes and the subjective responses to those processes. Some refer to the sensation of orgasm as being frightening; others speak of it as being the most exciting, fulfilling, and enjoyable sensation imaginable (Blackledge, 2004). Some women experience orgasm as the ultimate loss of control and consider it to be a vulnerability that should be avoided (Laan & Rellini, 2011).
It is sometimes suggested that orgasms may not be important for female sexual pleasure (Blackledge, 2004). The argument has been that women can be fully satisfied sexually without experiencing an orgasm. However, based on previous sex surveys, the most important single predictor of sexual satisfaction for women is without a doubt the orgasm (Kontula, 2009). If a woman did not have an orgasm in the latest intercourse, even 38% of women did not consider that intercourse pleasant. If they had an orgasm (or more than one), only a few women did not rate their intercourse as pleasant. This result concretely illustrates how crucial the role orgasms play in women’s assessment of the quality of sex they are having.
Female orgasms are also important for men. Men enjoy their partners’ orgasms, and they feel that they have the physical responsibility to stimulate their female partner to orgasm (Salisbury & Fisher, 2014). Opperman, Braun, Clarke, and Rogers (2014) found that both female and male participants felt responsible for their partner’s pleasure and ultimately their orgasm and, reciprocally, that their partners felt responsible for theirs. The most common concern reported by both male and female participants in Salisbury’s and Fisher’s study (2014) in regard to the lack of a female orgasm in sexual interaction focused on the male partner’s judgment of himself as a lover and the associated negative impact that the lack of a female orgasm would have on his self-esteem. Male participants reported judging themselves negatively if they were unsuccessful in their attempts to produce a female orgasm. Better knowledge of the predictors of female orgasms could therefore promote sexual well-being in both partners.
Finland is one of few countries with nationally representative surveys of sexual activities and values among the adult population. According to many international indicators, social progress is well advanced in Finland. In relation to social well-being, the European Quality of Life Survey gave the highest rates of happiness in Europe to Finland and Denmark. This has some implications for sexual values and activities. Sexual images and values are evolving to reflect a more affirming and liberal approach to sexuality.
Women have a unique position in Finland in international comparison. An important enduring element in Finnish society is the equal- and independent position of women. This can be seen in the realm of politics, education, paid work, and the division of labor in the home. The rate of women working full time in Finland is the highest in Western Europe – partly thanks to the extensive public childcare that is the right of every child.
Based on the Gender Equity Index (GEI), introduced by Social Watch, Finland is number one in the world in gender equity, along with Sweden. In education, Finland has been several times number one in the world regarding the results of the Programme for International Students Assessment (PISA) evaluation (60 countries) and OECD. Women outnumber men in higher education, and comprehensive sex education is at the highest level in Europe (Kontula, 2010).
Women’s right to be the initiators of sexual interactions was supported by 94% of Finnish men and 90% of women already in 1992 (Kontula & Haavio-Mannila, 1995). This support for female sexual autonomy has only increased since then (Kontula, 2009). This social and educational progress has created positive circumstances for sexual activities also among the aging population (Kontula, 2013).
During the last four decades, there have been major shifts in Finnish sexuality. Two nationally representative surveys of sexual behavior and sexual attitudes carried out in 1971 and 1992, showed that people’s attitudes have become more liberal; sexual behavior more equal; women sexually more active; and women’s sexual satisfaction in particular had increased during the 20 years between these two surveys. One of the main causes of this positive change (Kontula & Haavio-Mannila, 1995; Kontula & Kosonen, 1996) is estimated to have been the increasingly copious, open, and versatile treatment of sexuality in various media sources.
Over the last 20 years, the key shift in sexual culture in the West has been the opening up of the private sexual sphere into something that is now part of the public sphere (Kontula, 2009). This is manifested in the public proliferation of images of scantily clad people, intimate stories about well-known celebrities and personalities, and new technological breakthroughs in pornography. Sex and nudity are a natural and everyday part of public media culture. Sex is for everyone, even though not everyone has an equal opportunity to engage in it.
In many respects, sexual trends in Finland before the 2000s correspond to research data compiled previously in Europe on the same topic (Sandfort, Hubert, Bajos & Bos, 1998). The broader shift that has occurred in the West has meant a greater number of sexual partners before forming a committed relationship; lower levels of commitment in relationships; increased masturbation; an increase in lifetime partners and parallel relationships; and increasing commonness of oral and anal sex.
The aim of this article is to present the predictors of one of the greatest present-day challenges in sexual life in Finland, namely female orgasms. This study includes long-term trends, and the determinants of female orgasms. The aim is to analyze various factors associated in female orgasms, including personal importance of orgasms, sexual desire, masturbation, clitoral and vaginal stimulation, sexual self-esteem, communication with partner, and partner’s sexual techniques.
In Finland, five national FINSEX sex surveys, based on random samples from the Central Population Register, have been conducted, so that all Finns have had an equal opportunity to be selected into the sample. Respondents are representative of the total population within the age range of 18–54 years in 1971 (N=2,152), 18–74 years in 1992 (N=2,250), 18–81 years in 1999 (N=1,496), 18–74 years in 2007 (N=2,590), and 18–79 years in 2015 (N=2,150). In total, these surveys involve 10,637 respondents, 4,482 men and 6,155 women. The basic aim of these sex surveys has been to follow trends regarding a number of sexual issues.
The response rates were 91% (1971), 76% (1992), 46% (1999), 43% (2007), and 36% (2015). The higher response rates in 1971 and 1992 were due to the face-to-face interviews carried out at respondents’ homes. In 1999, 2007, and 2015, the data collection was carried out by Statistics Finland as a mailed survey (because of lower costs), which resulted in lower response rates.
The impact of the lower response rates in the 1999 and 2007 studies, as compared to the 1971 and 1992 surveys, has been evaluated by analyzing the ways in which people of particular birth cohorts have responded to the same questions concerning their own youth. The representativeness and comparability of the later data in relation to the 1992 data remained quite good, except in the case of male respondents over the age of 55. The later 1999 and 2007 findings provide a slight underestimation of male sexual activity over the age of 55 (sexual initiation somewhat later, and sexually a bit more monogamous in their life time), compared with the previous similar male cohorts of the respondents. Among women, a similar selection bias was not found. Data for 1999–2015 have been weighted to correct for the response bias.
More detailed information on the sampling, interviewing and questionnaires is available in Kontula & Haavio-Mannila (1995), Haavio-Mannila, Kontula & Kuusi (2001), Haavio-Mannila and Kontula (2003), and Kontula (2009).
Another data set (ORGSEX) of 2,049 women between 18–70 years of age was collected in May 2015 via a national Internet participant pool that includes 50,000 respondents. Sexual pleasure and orgasms were the core measures in this survey. The survey was conducted by Taloustutkimus Oy – Computer Aided Web Interview. Data were weighted as being representative of the whole population of Finland.
The FINSEX questionnaires contained more than 100 questions, and many of them had a number of sub-sections. The following questions (translated from Finnish) selected from the questionnaire, specifically referred to orgasms in women:
How old were you when you reached orgasm through masturbation?
How old were you when you had an orgasm for the first time during sexual intercourse?
Do you usually have an orgasm during sexual intercourse?
Did you have an orgasm during your most recent sexual intercourse?
Including two or more orgasms.
By what type of activities do you usually experience orgasms during sexual intercourse?
By stimulating clitoris
By stimulating vagina
By stimulating them both
The ORGSEX questionnaire involved 21 questions and included some social background questions. Questions referring to measures of orgasm comprised:
Do you have orgasm during sexual intercourse?
Did you have an orgasm during your latest sexual intercourse?
Including two or more orgasms.
Do you have an orgasm more easily via masturbation or via intercourse?
Do you orgasm while you are stimulated via oral sex?
In what sexual position do you most easily have an orgasm?
What helps you the most to have an orgasm?
Strong personal arousal
Partner’s strong arousal
Favorable undisturbed and erotic situation
Using enough time for love making
A skillful and attractive partner
Oral or manual stimulation
Use of a sexual toy or massage-machine
What issues prevent you from having an orgasm during love-making?
Eight alternatives to select
How important do you consider it to be to have an orgasm in love-making?
How important do you consider it to be in love-making to provide an orgasm to your partner?
In what ways have you learned to intensely enjoy love-making and to experience orgasms?
Eight alternatives to select
The analyses were conducted using IBM SPSS Statistics Version 23. In addition to descriptive analysis (–), we examined the main determinants of the female sexual orgasms with regression analyses (–). There were also a few chi-square tests.
Percentage of women who experienced orgasm most of the time or always during sexual intercourse by age group and survey year. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate standard errors. FINSEX 1971–2015.
Percent of women achieving orgasm in the last intercourse by whether they agree they are sexually skilled and by ease of discussion of sexual issues with partner. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘Do you agree or disagree with the following: I consider myself quite skilled in sexual issues’. Question on easiness of discussion of sexual issues with partner collapsed into two categories: (1) at least quite difficult=quite or very difficult; (2) not difficult=not very difficult or open and easy. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1992–2015.
Associations between socio-demographic, lifestyle and relationship history characteristics and orgasmic frequency in women
|Education (years in education)||−0.007||0.185||5477|
|Importance of religion||0.083***||0.000||5420|
|Attendance of religious services||0.041*||0.015||3258|
|Sexual attitudes: Woman has a right to initiate sex||0.111***||0.000||5505|
|Alcohol consumption (6=never)||0.001||0.872||5457|
|Heavy drinking (6=never)||0.034*||0.014||4192|
|Psychological symptoms (24=many symptoms)||−0.038***||0.000||5179|
|Psychological distress, anxiety (3=often)||−0.203***||0.000||5339|
|Couple relationship characteristics & history|
|Number of steady relationships (1+)||0.057+||0.091||4578|
|Number of persons fallen in love with (0+)||0.015||0.301||5403|
|Number of sex partners within last 5 years (0+)||−0.001||0.813||3071|
|Number of sex partners lifetime (1+)||0.000||0.816||5289|
|Has had extra-marital relationship(s) (1=no)||0.045||0.465||4249|
|Current relationship: married (vs. single)||0.476***||0.000||5529|
|Current relationship: cohabiting (vs. single)||0.422***||0.000||5529|
|Current relationship: LAT (relationship, not cohabiting) (vs. single)||0.399***||0.000||5529|
|Duration of current relationship||−0.002||0.479||4422|
|Children: own children (1=has children)||0.408***||0.000||5509|
|Children: household children (1=lives children)||0.214***||0.000||4243|
|Importance of orgasm and sexual satisfaction|
|Importance of sex for the couple relationship (4=very important)||0.445***||0.000||4382|
|How important to have orgasm in love-making (4=very important)||1.026***||0.000||952|
|How important to provide orgasm to partner (4=very important)||0.573***||0.000||953|
Determinants of female orgasmic capacity: ORGSEX-data
|Frequency of intercourse (during past 1 month)||−0.001||0.970|
|Duration of intercourse||0.098***||0.001|
|Frequency of masturbation||0.040||0.360|
|Achieving orgasm in love-making important||0.854***||0.000|
|Orgasm easier via love-making than via masturbation||0.296***||0.000|
Percentage of women reporting orgasm during their last intercourse by age group and survey year. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate standard errors. FINSEX 1971–2015.
Women’s orgasmic capacity by the age at first masturbatory orgasm. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange line. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow line. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green line. Intercourse defined as penile-vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1999–2015.
Women’s orgasmic capacity by timing of last masturbation. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bars. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bars. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bars. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1971–2015.
Women’s orgasmic capacity by the type of stimulation they report as usually contributing to orgasm. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bars. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bars. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bars. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘How do you usually achieve orgasm during sexual interaction?’ Sexual interaction defined as sexual intercourse, oral sex, or manual sex. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 2015.
Women’s orgasmic capacity by how often partner has given oral sex. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bars. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bars. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bars. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘During intercourse, how often you have been given oral sex by your partner during past 5 years?’ Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1992–2015.
Percentage of women experiencing orgasm during the last intercourse by how often partner has given oral sex and by how easy or difficult it is to have discussions of sexual issues with one’s partner. Exact phrasing of the questions: ‘Is discussion of sexual issues easy or difficult with your partner?’; ‘During intercourse, how often you have been given oral sex by your partner during past 5 years?’ Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1992–2015.
Women’s orgasmic capacity by whether they agree they are ‘sexually quite skilled’. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange line. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow line. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last intercourse?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two or more’ is depicted in the Figure with the green line. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘Do you agree or disagree with the following: I consider myself quite skilled in sexual issues’. Intercourse defined as penile–vaginal intercourse. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 1992–2015.
Trends in female orgasms
A major challenge in Finnish sexuality is the declining trends in female sexual satisfaction and orgasm. For women, having an orgasm from intercourse is much less guaranteed than for men. In 2015, 46% of women said that they always or nearly always had an orgasm when having intercourse, with only 6% of women reporting always having an orgasm. Nearly one in six (16%) women had an orgasm approximately half of the time and 38% of women had orgasms fairly infrequently at most. Over 16 years (1999–2015), women’s orgasmic capacity has declined considerably, from 56% of women experiencing orgasm in intercourse always or nearly always in 1999 to 46% in 2015 (χ2(20)=84.8, p=0.000). The decline is apparent among both young and middle aged women. In similar fashion, the proportion of women who have had an orgasm in the latest intercourse has diminished from 1999.
Difficulties experiencing orgasms has affected a large proportion of women. In 2015, 9% of women reported never having had an orgasm from intercourse. In earlier studies, the proportion of women who had never experienced an orgasm from sexual intercourse was 4–7%, which is lower than in 2015. Furthermore, according to the 2015 findings, 14% of young women (under the age of 35) in particular had never had an orgasm from intercourse. This is a higher figure than in previous surveys.
It is of particular note that in 2015, only 38% of young women (vs. 42% in 2007 and 53% in 1999) reported that they usually had an orgasm during intercourse, whereas 43% said that they had an orgasm fairly infrequently at most. Similar proportions were observed in the ORGSEX survey, in which ‘love-making’ was the adopted concept instead of intercourse. Again, only 38% of women aged 18–24 ‘usually’ had an orgasm in love-making. In previous surveys, middle-aged and older women up to retirement-age reported a higher incidence of orgasms than women in younger age groups, and there is a similar trend nowadays. In the framework of sexual well-being and sexual health, decline in orgasmic capacity is a major sexological challenge in the 2000s.
The proportion of people who had an orgasm the last time they had intercourse was close to the proportion of women who said that they generally had an orgasm from intercourse. Of the women surveyed in 2015, 54% had had an orgasm the last time they had intercourse. However, there was also some confusion surrounding what an orgasm is or should be. A total of 6% of women were not able to tell whether or not they had had an orgasm the last time they had intercourse.
These findings indicate that women differ greatly from one another in terms of their tendency or capacity to experience orgasms. A significant proportion of women (19%) experienced persistent problems experiencing any orgasm from intercourse, whereas many (8% of all women and 11% of young women) found it easy to have multiple orgasms. The variation in sexual enjoyment among women was drastically greater than among men. It is particularly intriguing that women are now experiencing greater, not fewer, problems regarding orgasms as compared to past decades, even though the opportunities for gender equality and sexual enjoyment in society now seem to be better than ever before.
First experiences of orgasms
Most young women experience their first orgasm during masturbation. In 2015, half of the youngest generation of women (under the age of 35) had experienced their first orgasm in masturbation before the age of 15. The age of first orgasm achieved via masturbation was in steady decrease from the oldest generation (over the age of 55) to the youngest generation. The average age at first orgasm in masturbation declined significantly from 22 years (age group 65+ years) to 15 years (age group 18–24 years). The average age had fallen in the 2000s by 3.5 years among young women in comparison with the oldest age group. In the oldest generation, only one-tenth of women had experienced their first orgasm in masturbation before the age of 15. There was a continuous declining trend in this age from one survey to the next and from one generation to another (r=0.365, p=0.01).
In 2015, 2015a quarter of young women had their first orgasm in masturbation before the age of 13 and one-tenth before the age of 10. Some women reported that they had their first orgasm in masturbation as early as the age of 5. However, many women had not experienced an orgasm until they were in their 40s or 50s. The oldest reported ages of participants experiencing their first orgasm via masturbation were women in their 60s. At the population level, there seems to be a huge variation in the age of first orgasm in masturbation.
Women are significantly increasing their rate of masturbation over time, and across surveys (Kontula, 2009). Although masturbation provides women with a lot pleasure, orgasms from intercourse have been found to be more pleasurable. In Mah and Binik’s (2002) study both men and women recall orgasms experienced with a partner present as having been significantly more pleasurable and satisfying than those occurring during solitary masturbation.
The trends in women’s first orgasms achieved during intercourse are very different from their first orgasms achieved via masturbation. To some, it may be surprising how large the discrepancy is between some women’s age at first intercourse, and their first time experiencing orgasm through intercourse. Although women had their first intercourse, on average, at the age of 17, only a third of women had their first orgasm at intercourse under the age of 18. A quarter of women, but three quarters of men, had achieved an orgasm in the same year as their first intercourse. Altogether 40–50% of women had their first orgasm at intercourse only after the age of 20.
This proportion has remained quite stable since the 1992 survey. In addition, the average age of first orgasm during intercourse was similar in older and younger generations, namely around 20–21 years of age. The outcome was that the difference between the age at first orgasm in intercourse, and the age of the first orgasm in masturbation had increased. For women, it was common that there was a few years’ gap between the time of their first intercourse, and the time of their first experience of orgasm in intercourse.
Most women have had their first orgasm during masturbation. Half of the women surveyed had their first orgasm during masturbation at least 5 years before their first orgasm during intercourse, and 17% of women 10 years before their first orgasm in intercourse. Only about 10% of women had their first orgasm during intercourse before experiencing an orgasm via masturbation.
The implication of these results is that women have usually been able to practice their orgasms for several years before experiencing them for the first time in intercourse. It has been hypothesized that this type of physical practice should enable them to achieve orgasms in intercourse more easily (McCabe, 2009). However, in these data, this expected positive outcome did not exist ().
Associations between sexual experiences, sexual skills and couple relationship characteristics with orgasmic frequency in women
|Intercourse and masturbation, lifetime|
|Age at first intercourse||−0.028***||0.000||5460|
|Age at first orgasm in intercourse||−0.044***||0.000||4925|
|Frequency of intercourse during past month (8=daily)||0.165***||0.000||5476|
|Recent masturbation (7=during last 24 h)||−0.091***||0.000||5310|
|Frequency of masturbation (6=4+ times/w)||−0.036||0.414||955|
|Age at first orgasm in masturbation||−0.005||0.203||2313|
|Experiences related to intercourse|
|Partner comes too quickly (4=frequently)||−0.308***||0.000||3658|
|Intercourse feels painful (4=frequently)||−0.365***||0.000||1723|
|Experiences: vaginal dryness (6=constantly)||−0.141***||0.000||3697|
|Experiences: partner has erection problems (6=constantly)||−0.111***||0.000||4653|
|Sex techniques and skills|
|Orgasm via clitoris or vagina or both: vagina (vs. clitoris)||0.640***||0.000||1065|
|Orgasm via clitoris or vagina or both: both (vs. clitoris)||0.518***||0.000||1065|
|Duration of intercourse||0.207***||0.000||2456|
|Partner gives oral stimulation (5=most times)||0.154***||0.000||4152|
|Last time since partner gave manual stimulation (7=less than a week)||0.170***||0.000||1071|
|Lack of own sexual desire (4=never)||0.353***||0.000||3826|
|Sexual self-esteem (5=agree completely)||0.573***||0.000||953|
|Orgasm much easier via masturbation (vs. much easier via love-making)||−1.585***||0.000||848|
|Somewhat easier via masturbation (vs. much easier via love-making)||−0.077||0.559||848|
|As easy in masturbation as in love-making (vs. much easier via love-making)||0.473***||0.002||848|
|Somewhat easier in love-making (vs. much easier via love-making)||−0.259||0.254||848|
|Couple relationship: satisfaction and communication|
|Satisfaction towards couple relationship (4=very happy)||0.332***||0.000||4412|
|Discussion of sexual issues with partner (4=open and easy)||0.370***||0.000||4405|
|Physical intimacy in the couple relationship (4=not at all)||−0.454***||0.000||3476|
Determinants of female orgasms
Poor determinants of female orgasms
We examined the association between several socio-demographic, lifestyle and personal characteristics and orgasmic capacity in the pooled FINSEX data. Due to the large data set, the associations often proved to be statistically significant. However, in many cases the differences in the ability to experience orgasms between different groups of women were relatively small. The coefficients from the regression analyses and p-values are reported in , and in the following, we focus on those results which appeared to influence women’s orgasmic capacity the most. Women’s social background was only weakly associated with the ability to experience orgasms. Women had orgasms almost with the same frequency, regardless of their education or income levels. On the other hand, religious women were more likely to experience orgasms in the intercourse than were those women who regarded religion not at all important. The association was much weaker when church attendance was considered. Somewhat contrasting, more self-determining attitudes toward sexuality issues (‘woman has the right to make sexual initiatives’) were also associated with higher orgasmic capacity.
There were a number of other lifestyle and personal characteristics that were not associated or only very weakly associated with the frequency of orgasm. These factors included physical exercise, psychological symptoms, smoking, and moderate alcohol use. On average, 46% of women with BMI below 20 experienced orgasm always or almost always during intercourse, compared to 51% among normal or slightly overweight women, or 50% among obese women (age-adjusted figures). Mild mental health problems were not linked to the problem of having orgasms, while constant feelings of anxiety and distress were associated with decreased likelihood of experiencing orgasms.
Relationship and sexual partner history
Women’s relationship and sexual partner history appeared to have no effect on the ability of women to have orgasms (). Women’s orgasm frequency did not vary according to the number of steady relationships that they had had in their lifetime, nor did it vary according to the number of times in life they had fallen in love. The same was also true regarding the number of sexual partners in recent years, or over their lifetime. In addition, women’s ability to achieve an orgasm was not associated with being unfaithful at some point in their current relationship.
However, sexual experience with a steady partner was positively associated with the frequency of having orgasms. Only 40% of single women usually experienced orgasms in intercourse when the respective figure for women in marital, cohabiting or living apart together (LAT)-unions was above 50%. Women who were in newer relationships of only a few years at most had more frequent difficulties achieving orgasms than other women. This was partly related to their young age, and the effect of union duration disappeared once we controlled for the age.
How important orgasms were considered
The ORGSEX survey asked questions about how important women considered attaining an orgasm themselves to be in love-making, and how important they felt it was to produce an orgasm to their own partner. The results are presented by women’s relationship status ( and ).
Importance of experiencing orgasm during love-making for women in different relationship statuses. LAT=Living-apart-but-together (i.e. in relationship but not cohabiting). Marriage includes persons living in registered unions. Definition of love-making left to the participant. Error bars indicate 95 CI. ORGSEX 2015.
Women’s responses to question of how important it is to produce an orgasm in their partner during love-making. Women grouped by their relationship status. Exact wording of the question: ‘How important it is for you to produce an orgasm in your partner during love-making?’ Definition of love-making left to the participant. LAT=Living-apart-but-together (i.e. in relationship but not cohabiting). Marriage includes persons living in registered unions. Error bars indicate 95 CI. ORGSEX 2015.
Around 60% of women considered having an orgasm at least ‘rather important’ in love-making, though less than 20% rated it as ‘very important’. Additionally, 10% of women thought that an orgasm was ‘not at all important’ in love-making. In fact, they usually rated their partner’s orgasm to be more important than their own.
Almost all women said that it was at least ‘rather important’ to bring their partner to orgasm. Half of women considered their partner’s orgasm ‘very important’. This proportion was much higher than the proportion of women considering their own orgasm to be ‘very important’. In Nicholson and Burr’s (2003) study, women reported that it was important to ‘give’ their male partners pleasure and orgasm, possibly at the expense of their own pleasure. In Salisbury’s and Fisher’s study (2014) women asserted that their orgasm was more of a ‘bonus’ than a goal of sexual interactions.
Only single women valued orgasms differently (they more often could not tell how important their partner’s orgasm might be), but even they consider a future partner’s orgasm more important than their own. Based on these results, women were in their sexual interaction quite altruistic – at least according to them. Two-thirds of the women who thought that their orgasm was not at all important considered their partner’s orgasm at least rather important.
Evaluation of women’s own orgasms in love-making was highly associated with their orgasmic capacity. Of the women who considered their orgasms to be very important, almost 90% usually had orgasms during intercourse, and also had one in their latest intercourse (). These results are in line with Laan and Rellini (2011) who determined that women who found it easier to orgasm were also more likely to regard orgasm as important. Of the women who considered their orgasms very important, almost 30% had also a multi-orgasmic experience in their latest intercourse. This association may be partly explained by highly pleasurable sexual experiences prompting women to place a higher value on orgasms.
Women’s orgasmic capacity by how important orgasm is to them. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bar. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two’ or ‘Yes, more than two’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bar. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two’ or ‘Yes, more than two’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bar. Definition of love-making is left to the participant. Error bars indicate 95 CI. ORGSEX 2015.
At the other end of the orgasm-evaluation scale, were women who did not consider their orgasms to be important. Most of them had difficulties experiencing orgasms. Only 13% of these women had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. Because these women rarely experienced orgasm, it makes sense that they did not value orgasms that much in their love-making. Laan and Rellini (2011) note that a low female value on own orgasm can be considered a sensible coping strategy, in that, by placing less value on orgasms if they are difficult or impossible to have, they will not be disappointed by their sexual experiences.
Female orgasmic capacity was also related to how important women considered sex to be for the happiness of their current relationship. If they considered sex to be important or very important for the happiness, they reported having had an orgasm in their latest intercourse more often, and were more likely to usually achieve orgasm in intercourse (, p<0.001). They reported having experienced an orgasm even more often if they also rated their relationship as being happy. Of women who were very happy in their current romantic relationship, and who also considered sex very important for happiness in a relationship, 76% reported having had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. If they did not value sex highly in their relationship, and they had a relationship that was not happy, only 29% reported orgasmic experiences in the most recent intercourse. Happy relationships were associated with orgasm capacity (, p<0.001), but less so if women did not consider sex to be important to the happiness of their current relationship.
Orgasms and sexual techniques
In sexual therapy, a common assumption has been that physically practicing masturbation or sexual pleasuring will increase a women’s ability to experience orgasms in intercourse.
These two sexuality survey data (FINSEX and ORGSEX) did not provide clear support for this assumption. The age at which women began to have sexual intercourse was statistically significantly associated with the overall ability to experience orgasms during sexual intercourse (, p<0.001). Among early initiators (first intercourse by age 17) 53% of women had orgasms almost always during the intercourse, among women who had had their first intercourse at later age (18–24 years), the respective figure was 47%. Of women who had their sexual initiation after age 25, 44% were able to usually have orgasm during the intercourse.
On the other hand, age at which women first had an orgasm in masturbation was not statistically significantly related to orgasmic capacity. This was true also regarding if the women had one orgasm or several orgasms in their latest intercourse. In addition, masturbation frequency was negatively (not statistically significantly) associated with how often women experienced orgasm during intercourse. In fact, those women who had masturbated never or only a very long time ago, were more likely to experience orgasms during intercourse (, p<0.001).
One masturbation-related assumption is that women achieve orgasm via masturbation more easily than via intercourse. These data provide some confirmation of this hypothesis. Nearly half of women (48%) reported that they achieved orgasm more easily in masturbation than in intercourse. However, 14% of women achieved an orgasm more easily via intercourse than masturbation, while 17% achieved it similarly easily in both ways, and 20% of all women could not tell by which technique they found it easier to have orgasms.
The ease of achieving an orgasm via masturbation versus intercourse had no clear association with how often women had experienced orgasms in intercourse, or if they had had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. There was a low frequency of orgasm in intercourse among women who much easier achieved orgasm via masturbation (only 38% of them had an orgasm in the latest intercourse), this association was statistically significant (r=0.37, p<0.001). On the other hand, there was hardly any differences in the orgasmic capacity between women who achieved orgasm more easily via vaginal sex as compared to women who achieved orgasm somewhat more easily via masturbation. Women who could orgasm equally easily both via masturbation and vaginal sex were the most orgasmic in the latest intercourse (90%) ().
Women’s orgasmic capacity by whether orgasm is easier to achieve in masturbation or in love-making. Note that orgasmic capacity is here measured with three separate variables: (1) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Do you have an orgasm during love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Always’ or ‘Almost always or usually’ is depicted in the figure with the orange bars. (2) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, one’ or ‘Yes, two’ or ‘Yes, more than two’ is depicted in the Figure with the yellow bars. (3) ‘Sexual pleasure ending in relaxation and a very good feeling is called an orgasm. Did you have an orgasm during your last love-making?’ The proportion of women who answered ‘Yes, two’ or ‘Yes, more than two’ is depicted in the Figure with the green bars. Definition of love-making is left to the participant. Error bars indicate 95 CI. ORGSEX 2015.
A continuous international debate has been if women achieve orgasm more easily via stimulating their clitoris or via stimulating their vagina (Paget, 2001). Paget continues that the discussion can follow the spirit of Masters and Johnson regarding clitocentrism, including that a woman can orgasm only via clitoral stimulation.
Blackledge (2004) tells that sexual arousal typically occurs as a result of the activation of various nerves. Typically when orgasm occurs, it is the result of one or more of three genital nerves being activated. These are pudendal (clitoris), pelvic (vagina) and hypogastric (uterus, cervix) nerves. These nerves are all genitospinal nerves – they run from the genitalia and then project into a person’s spinal cord.
In FINSEX, women were asked if they usually achieve an orgasm during sexual intercourse via stimulating of the clitoris, of the vagina, or both. More than half of women (54%) responded that they usually achieve an orgasm via stimulating both the clitoris and vagina (). Orgasms that result from such stimulation have been called blended orgasms (Ladas, Whipple & Perry, 2005) or fusion orgasms (Otto, 1999). A third of women (34%) reported that they usually attained an orgasm via stimulating the clitoris. Only 6% of women reported that they usually have an orgasm via stimulating the vagina. Also 6% of women told that they had never experienced an orgasm in intercourse.
How women typically achieve orgasm during sexual interaction by age group. Exact phrasing of the question: ‘How do you usually achieve orgasm during sexual interaction?’ Sexual interaction defined as either intercourse, oral sex, or manual sex. Error bars indicate 95 CI. FINSEX 2015.
The technique of how women usually stimulated their sexual organs (clitoris or vagina) had a strong association
with their orgasmic capacity in intercourse (). Those women who typically experienced vaginal stimulation during intercourse had orgasms more often (64%) than did other women. Women who usually achieved orgasm via stimulating the clitoris achieved orgasm less frequently during intercourse (40%). In this clitoral stimulation subgroup were the biggest group of women (8% of this group) who had never had an orgasm during intercourse. This raises the question of whether a recommendation to focus mainly on clitoral stimulation in sexual intercourse is a helpful instruction to all women and their partners.
Sexual techniques that include active partner involvement are effective to female orgasmic capacity. One of these is concentrating on one’s partner for a longer time. Duration of intercourse was strongly associated with women’s ability to experience orgasm during intercourse (, p<0.001). Those women whose love-making usually lasted a minimum of 15 min achieved an orgasm more easily than women whose intercourse was shorter). However, if intercourse lasted for longer than 20 min, the additional effect on increasing a woman’s probability of experiencing an orgasm was marginal. An exception to this was women who experienced an increased capacity for multiple orgasms in cases of intercourse lasting for more than 1 h.
Another example of behavior that is associated with higher orgasmic frequency is the sexual position of partners in the most recent intercourse experience (results not shown in the Tables). If women were more active – including engaging in woman-on-top position, or using several positions with the partner during that intercourse – two-thirds of women achieved one or more orgasms during the intercourse. If their partner was more active, including man-on-top positions, less than half of women achieved orgasm. Sanchez, Kiefer, and Ybarra (2006) have suggested that women with an orgasm disorder tend to behave according to the traditional female scripts, in which the woman remains passive, does not let go mentally, and waits until her male partner evokes feelings of arousal and pleasure in her.
How partners can promote female orgasms
One way in which partners can promote female orgasms is by providing women with oral sex. Partner’s manual stimulation to female sexual organs has almost the same effect. The more frequently women receive oral or manual sex from their partners, the more often they have orgasms (, p<0.001). However, oral sex does not stimulate all women to achieve orgasm. Even among the women who received oral sex most of the time in sexual activity, only 60% usually achieved orgasm during intercourse, and 69% experienced orgasm in their latest intercourse.
Some women find requesting oral stimulation from their partners to be difficult. In Salisbury’s and Fisher’s study (2014), the majority of women believed that asking for, or engaging in clitoral stimulation in the presence of their male partner would not be welcome.
If a woman experienced low sexual desire, the role of oral sex in promoting orgasm was notable. Of women who very often lacked sexual desire, only around 20% experienced orgasm in their latest intercourse if their partner did not provide oral sex. 50% of low desire women, who received oral sex from their partner frequently, had an orgasm.
If women did not lack sexual desire, the role of oral sex in promoting orgasm was much less notable. Oral sex was associated with an orgasm somewhat, but even without oral sex, most of these women had orgasms in their latest intercourse. Sexual desire and related arousal were associated with female orgasms, even when sexual techniques were limited.
The role of oral sex in promoting female orgasm was notable also in couples who found it difficult to discuss of sexual issues. If discussions of sexual issues with partners were quite difficult, oral sex provided by the partner had a very significant association with women’s orgasm in their latest experience of intercourse (65% vs. 27%). It is possible that oral sex could significantly compensate for the missing sexual communication between the partners. In cases where sexual communication was open and easy, the role of oral sex in orgasms was much less remarkable (76% vs. 61%). Good sexual communication contributed to female orgasms almost as much as favorable sexual techniques.
The role of female sexual self-esteem and communication with the partner
Another significant factor in female orgasms was sexual self-esteem. In the ORGSEX survey, women who agreed with the statement that they were good in bed had orgasms much more frequently in comparison with women who disagreed with this statement (, p<0.001). Of those women who agreed completely with this statement, around 80% reported having orgasms most times in their intercourse, and as many had orgasmic experiences in their latest intercourse. If women disagreed completely that they were good in bed only 1 in 10 had had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. Orgasmic capacity is obviously one key factor by which women estimate how good they are in bed.
For some women orgasmic capacity is a learning process. Regarding their sexual self-esteem, they have learned to accept themselves and their body. They have also learned how to concentrate completely on love-making. They have often been successful in preventing stress, and to stimulate a high arousal in their intercourse. In addition, if they have had a skillful and desirable partner, they can be highly orgasmic.
In the FINSEX survey, one question asked if women agreed that they are quite skillful in sexual issues. This type of sexual self-esteem was positively associated to orgasm. Of women who agreed with this statement around 70% had an orgasm in their latest intercourse. This type of self-esteem was more strongly associated with orgasm ability than open communication regarding sexual issues with the partner (56% had orgasm).
If women did not consider themselves sexually skillful and their sexual communication with their partner was quite difficult, only about one-fifth of them experienced an orgasm in their latest intercourse. This suggests that both sexual self-esteem and communication skills with their partner are important factors that can be associated with orgasmic capacity.
In addition to sexual self-esteem, and particularly in relation to a positive assessment of sexual skills, active female sexual communication with their partner can make a big difference to orgasmic capacity. In this study, high sexual self-esteem had a very positive association with orgasms in the latest intercourse, even when sexual communication with a partner was problematic. This suggests that even in relationships that would not be considered positive, women may experience a lot of sexual pleasure if they have high sexual self-esteem. But in cases where their sexual self-esteem was low, good sexual communication with the partner significantly helped a woman’s ability to achieve an orgasm.
These FINSEX results are in line with the results of the ORGSEX survey. The ORGSEX survey included a question regarding how women had learned to enjoy love-making more intensely, and to experience orgasms. Almost half of the women reported that they had achieved this by learning to accept themselves and their body, or by concentrating completely on love-making. This may suggest that women who had felt responsible for their own pleasure had been more successful in gaining pleasure during intercourse.
Another factor that made a difference was the partner. A third of women reported that they had learned to experience orgasms by finding a desirable and skillful partner. A fifth of women had gained more orgasms by learning how to increase her partner’s pleasure. A process of mutual pleasure had presumably promoted more pleasure for women.
Factors that were frequently associated with a low or high probability of having orgasms
There were a number of factors that seemed to complicate female experiences of orgasms. In the ORGSEX survey a question asked ‘what prevents or inhibits respondents the most in achieving orgasm’. The most frequent responses were ‘fatigue or stress’ and ‘difficulty concentrating’. Most women selected reasons that related to their own qualifications. The next most frequent responses were ‘unskillful partner’ and ‘partner is too fast’. One-fifth of women attributed their orgasmic problems to their partners.
Based on the results of the FINSEX survey, a low frequency of female orgasm is in many ways related to the interaction with the partner. Only about a quarter of women had an orgasm in their latest intercourse if they did not consider sex at all important for the happiness in relationship; if they did not have any physical intimacy in their relationship; if they often lacked sexual desire; if their partner never had given manual or oral sex; if their intercourse was very often painful; or if their partner very often experienced an orgasm too soon.
Other factors related to low frequency of orgasm in the most recent intercourse included feeling the relationship was quite unhappy; not considering oneself sexually desirable; continuous vaginal dryness; partner’s frequent erectile problems; illness hampering sexual interaction; and intercourse that lasted at maximum only 5 min. For these women, the rate of orgasm at previous intercourse was only about one-third.
Finally, we examined the associations between various factors and female orgasmic capacity in joint regression models to see, if these factors influenced women’s ability to achieve orgasm even when we controlled the effects of other factors. Results are presented in (for FINSEX-data) and (for ORGSEX-data). It appears that there were a number of factors that were associated with high probability of having orgasms. These can be classified into three groups:
Determinants of female orgasmic capacity: FINSEX-data
|2007–2015||1992–2015||1992 and 2015|
|Frequency of intercourse (during past 1 month)||−0.034||0.142||−0.023||0.165||−0.038||0.127|
|Duration of intercourse||0.124***||0.000||–||–||–||–|
|Intercourse feels painful||–||–||–||–||−0.174||0.000|
|Age at first intercourse||−0.028*||0.013||−0.030***||0.000||−0.030**||0.002|
|Duration since last masturbation||0.087***||0.000||0.087***||0.000||0.102***||0.000|
|Partner gives oral stimulation||0.014||0.605||0.034||0.079||0.009||0.742|
|Partner comes too quickly||−0.236***||0.000||−0.289***||0.000||−0.339***||0.000|
|Sex important for happiness in couple relationship||0.226***||0.000||0.285***||0.000||0.288***||0.000|
|Satisfaction towards couple relationship||0.126***||0.005||0.130***||0.000||0.055||0.257|
|Discussion of sexual issues with partner easy||0.119***||0.009||0.130***||0.000||0.153**||0.003|
The first of these was related to some types of innate skills that enabled women to enjoy sexual experiences. These women had experienced their first orgasm in intercourse at a younger age than others; they did not practice active masturbation; and they had orgasms at least as easily in intercourse as in masturbation. In addition, they did not experience pain in sexual intercourse.
A second group includes factors such as good sexual skills and high sexual self-esteem. These women considered themselves good in bed. They got orgasms due to powerful arousal, and they were able to concentrate completely on love-making. They also considered it important to get orgasms in love-making and they also considered sex important for the happiness in their relationship. These women had both great mental and bodily capacity to let go and to experience orgasms.
A third group of factors relates to a woman’s skillful partner. The partner was able to promote female orgasm if he was not too fast. There was enough time to concentrate on sexual pleasure with the partner and communication with the partner was open enough in sexual issues.
Although many variables had highly statistical associations with women’s orgasmic capacity, differences in the orgasm frequency between women were not necessarily very large and in some cases diminished once age of the respondents and time of the survey was controlled for. These variables included frequency of intercourse and oral sex.
Women show a greater propensity than men to experience multiple orgasms as a result of sexual intercourse, or other sexual stimulation. Women have not been shown to experience the same kind of post-orgasmic latent state of arousal as men do, who have just ejaculated. There is some evidence that this is probably connected to the different hormonal functions of men and women (Blackledge, 2004).
In the FINSEX survey, 12% of women reported that they had two or more orgasms in their latest intercourse, and in the ORGSEX survey 11% of women reported the same. In the ORGSEX survey, half of these multi-orgasmic women (5%) had more than two orgasms. In the FINSEX survey, these figures were relatively stable across data from 1999, 2007, and 2015. There was no increase in the proportion of multi-orgasmic women.
Almost half of the women surveyed were multi-orgasmic if they used almost continuously in their sexual activities some sexual toys and aids, or if their love making lasted for more than an hour. One-third of women were multi-orgasmic if they reported intercourse every day, or if they agreed completely that they were good in bed. One quarter of women were multi-orgasmic if they considered orgasm in intercourse very important; if they experienced sexual desire more than once a day; or if they preferred having intercourse every day. Women achieved frequent orgasms just as easily via masturbation as love-making.
In many respects, multi-orgasmic women displayed strong sexual interests, and were sexually very active. This goes back to the question of whether strong sexual interests resulted in these women being multi-orgasmic, or if it is a case of the very positive sexual experiences encouraging their broad spectrum of sexual appetites. There is probably no definitive answer. The only thing that can be said is that strong sexual interest and sexual enjoyment often seem to be concentrated in the same women, and this is probably comparable to men.
Regarding the issue of gender equality, Finland is ranked among the leading countries in the world. There has been a major improvement in gender equality since the 1970s. Social and public discourses on the subjects of gender and sexuality have underscored women’s sexual rights and the right to sexual enjoyment. Positive female sexual expectations have been increased, for example, by progress in comprehensive sexuality education; increasing sexual knowledge; and by improved sexual health services. Altogether, these were expected to enable advancing sexual pleasures to women.
Feminists in particular have assumed that improving gender equality should have a positive impact on female sexual pleasure, including orgasms. This assumption could be tested in this study by analyzing long term trends in female orgasms from the 1970s to the present time. The result was that there has been no improvement in female orgasmic capacity since the 1970s. Improving gender equality has not helped women to experience progress in this key factor of female sexual pleasure even in the 2000s. This finding is contrary to previous expectations.
Young women (under 35 years of age) have had even more difficulties in having orgasms during intercourse in the 2000s. This trend continued to the year 2015. It is a mystery why the difficulty of having female orgasms has increased in the 21st century, at a time when public information about how to better achieve orgasms proliferates. The internet and women’s- and health magazines are full of instructions regarding the pursuit and cultivation of sexual pleasure. In addition, women’s rights to sexual pleasure have been acknowledged without any doubt. That has not given any boost to improving sexual pleasure.
There have been new lifestyle- and value factors that can have limited young women’s orgasmic capacity than in preceding generations. Stressful and busy lifestyles have resulted in a lack of time; reduced strength of private life; and in increasing mental pressures that have caused difficulties to concentrate on intimate life and sexual interaction. Although there has been a parallel major increase in masturbation habits, it has not helped young women to achieve more frequent orgasms.
The findings of this study indicate that women differ greatly from one another in terms of their tendency and capacity to experience orgasms. Inequality in sexual enjoyment is much greater among women than among men. There are a number of women who are multiorgasmic, but at the same time, there are a large number of women who have never had an orgasm during intercourse. Almost half of women do not orgasm most of the time when they have intercourse. This inequality among women warrants a more comprehensive study about the predictors of female orgasms.
There have been claims that high proportions of women probably do not report their orgasms because they report, or the surveys ask about orgasms only via vaginal intercourse. In this framework, low orgasmic prevalence could be true, based on a limited understanding of the concept of intercourse. In this study, the concept of intercourse was adopted in the FINSEX surveys but in the ORGSEX survey, the concept adopted was love-making thus allowing respondents to decide more freely what they include in the concept. However, asking about orgasms in love-making gave exactly the same results regarding orgasmic prevalence during intercourse. Women seem to connect similar components in their mind relating to intercourse as to love-making.
The promotion of self-stimulation via masturbation (Komisaruk et al., 2006) is assumed, especially in sexual therapy, to contribute to an increase in female orgasms. In this study, women did not have more frequent orgasms by increasing their current practice of masturbation, or by increasing experiments with different partners in their lifetime. Orgasms did not seem to be something that could be learned via increasing physical experiences or via frequent masturbation. Women masturbate nowadays much more actively than in the 1970s, but that reform has not helped them to increase their orgasmic capacity in intercourse. On the contrary, women who had not been active in masturbation lately experienced orgasms even more regularly in their intercourse.
There has been a continuous declining trend regarding the age of first orgasm in masturbation, but not regarding the age of the first orgasm in intercourse. Nowadays, half of women have had their first orgasm in masturbation at least 5 years prior their first orgasm in intercourse. They have had more time to practice their sexual pleasure via masturbation before their first intercourse, but that has not helped them to achieve an orgasm any younger during intercourse. This result diverges from expectations.
There are even some findings that masturbation is associated with poorer relationship quality, greater risk of female sexual arousal disorder, impaired sexual satisfaction, impaired orgasm (especially vaginal orgasm) and with other adverse processes (Brody, 2007). In this study, female relationship quality was not associated to masturbation frequency but general sexual satisfaction was lower among women who masturbated actively. Active masturbators considered their intercourse more often very pleasant than women who masturbated less often.
Those women who had orgasms much more easily via masturbation had problems to experience it in intercourse. The ease of attaining an orgasm via masturbation was not a good measure of orgasmic capacity during intercourse. Half of the women surveyed usually had an orgasm in intercourse via stimulating both clitoris and vagina, and only one-third usually via stimulating clitoris. Based on these results, the role of the clitoris is not as dominant in sexual stimulation towards orgasm in intercourse as has been expected.
Meston, Hull, Levin, and Sipski (2004) have argued that there are no consistent, empirical findings that psycho-social factors alone differentiate orgasmic from anorgasmic women. This study can add more information about how these factors are actually associated with more- or less frequent orgasms. These factors include women’s sexual desire, sexual values, sexual self-esteem, skills in communication, and their partner’s qualities.
The keys to achieving more frequent female orgasms were identified in this study as being in the mind and in the relationship. These factors and capacities included how important orgasms were considered personally; how high was sexual desire; how high was sexual self-esteem; and how open was sexual communication with the partner. Sexual self-esteem included how sexually skillful and how good in bed women considered themselves. Other positive factors of orgasmic capacity were the ability to concentrate on the moment; mutual sexual initiations; and a partner’s good sexual techniques. All of these are factors that should be paid attention to in sexual therapy.
Based on regression analysis, women who had a high orgasmic capacity had an innate talent to react with arousal to sexual stimulation in intercourse. They were also sexually skillful and they had good sexual self-esteem. Thanks to their good sexual experiences, they valued orgasms in their intercourse and in their relationship. Very often they also had a skillful sexual partner, who provided them good stimulation and was able to discuss sexual issues openly. They were able to maintain a positive circle that even increased their orgasmic capacity.
In short, a relationship that felt good and worked well emotionally, and where sex was approached openly and appreciatively, was associated with orgasmic capacity. These same factors were even more pronounced among multi-orgasmic women. In addition to this, they realized more frequent and long-lasting love-makings and sexual role plays. Thanks to their highly pleasurable intercourse, they had a high and versatile sexual motivation.
Although masturbation has not stimulated women to achieve more frequent orgasms, they surely need a variant sexual stimulation to become aroused during sexual intercourse, and also to have an orgasm. An orgasm is a complex response to socially contextualized physical and mental stimuli and, for the individual, there will be a variety of sources of effective stimulation, both physically and mentally (Lauman, Gagnon, Michael & Michaels, 1994). Based on ideas of Levin (2014), the factors that are involved in influencing the pleasure of orgasms are the novelty of sexual stimulation; genital stimulation with concomitant stimulation in and around the anus; the use of sexual fantasy; the duration between orgasms; and the duration and expertise in the sexual stimulation leading up to the climax are all reasonably well-known enhancing behaviors.
In this same spirit, Paterson, Jin, Amsel, and Binik (2014) have found that a greater build-up of sexual arousal desire prior to orgasm significantly predicted orgasmic pleasure for both genders. They recommend enhancing the experience of orgasm by delaying it until having reached high levels of sexual arousal and desire. According to Adam, Génet, Day, and Sutter (2015) orgasmic women reported significantly more mindfulness (they were capable of concentrating) during dyadic sexual activities. By the same token, Laan and Rellini (2011) argue that women’s orgasm consistency in all forms of partnered sexual activity is associated with sexual autonomy. In addition, letting go of control is mandatory for an orgasm to take place (Georgiadis et al., 2006).
Teaching effective techniques of stimulation may well improve the orgasmic response of anorgasmic women (McCabe, 2009). Ignorance of the best techniques; reluctance to use them; and/or an inability to communicate preferences for sexual stimulation to the partner contribute to low orgasmic frequency during sexual interaction (McCabe, 2009).
Based on the results of this study, one key issue regarding female orgasmic capacity is a personal sexual motivation. Women who have a high sexual motivation; desire to have sex; communicate sexual issues openly with their partner; make sexual initiations; and are active in sexual intercourse are more likely to experience orgasms during intercourse. Sexual activity means, for example, using woman-on-top positions in intercourse, and providing pleasure to the partner. Activity in sexual communication helps women to get the kind of stimulation that they need for arousal towards an orgasm from their partner.
Many studies have reported the importance of good sexual communication. Empirical studies have consistently demonstrated that anorgasmic women reported experiencing significantly greater discomfort with communication about sexual activities (Kelly, Strassberg & Turner, 2004). A lack of communication between partners about their sexual relationship appears to be a factor related to anorgasmia in women (McCabe, 2009).
Past failure to achieve orgasm can elicit self-defeating and distracting thoughts about whether a woman will be able to achieve orgasm this time. A woman may mentally monitor her own- and her partner’s response, unable to allow herself to relax and enjoy the sexual stimulation for its own sake. She becomes a spectator who demands her body’s response (McCabe, 2009). When someone is not fully engaged in love-making, it is no surprise that the enjoyment it brings is not what it could be.
Public discourses and social expectations in today’s society have mental implications for women and for their capacity for pleasure. The persistent risk discourse that relates to sexual issues may have created a situation in which women increasingly view sexual interaction through a more rational lens, rather than casting their body and soul into enjoying sexual experiences with a partner and realizing their own desires. Excessive rationalism is the biggest enemy of orgasms. Simply put, thinking does alight desire, but orgasms come when thinking ceases. The inability to implement this formula may be one key issue that particularly young women are increasingly experiencing regarding orgasms.
One outcome of female infrequent orgasms can be their lower sexual desire in comparison to males. In the spirit of the social exchange theory (Sprecher, 1998), one could think that the greater rewards that men achieve on average from sexual interaction could explain their stronger sexual desires. This might make sense, in that men experience orgasms so much more often and more easily in intercourse compared to women. In other words, men might be more motivated to seek intercourse as something that offers them particular rewards. This viewpoint was supported also by the finding that women who enjoyed sexual intercourse, and got more pleasure out of their sex lives than other women, were also less likely to experience lack of sexual desire. If women were to enjoy intercourse more and have orgasms more regularly, the desire gap between the genders should decline.
This study has its limitations. The wording of the items could be more exact. There could be other items that would measure more comprehensively the predictors of female orgasms. One example is differentiating between vaginal and clitoral orgasm. They have different psychological pathways and processes (Brody & Costa, 2009). In addition, this study does not enable causal explanations between the predictors and the dependent variable, the frequency of female orgasm. There is a need for a longitudinal study. Some of the trends and associations could be better understood by conducting qualitative studies.
One more challenge for future studies is to understand why a great number of women value their partner’s orgasm much more than their own. According to their responses, women’s sexual behavior includes quite often altruistic components. Women assumingly would value their own orgasms more if they would get them more easily and more frequently. Sexual pleasure can increase female sexual motivation. By actively promoting female orgasms, we could create a positive circle that would favorably increase female sexual pleasure.
Here’s Exactly How to Have Your First Orgasm If You’ve Never Had One
At long last, the world is beginning to embrace the female orgasm. Women are singing about masturbation, scientists are studying what happens to women’s brains when they orgasm, and the internet is full of advice on having better orgasms. Which is great—but all this talk can make you feel left out if you’ve never even had an orgasm yet.
You’re not alone, though. Around 5 to 10% of women say they have yet to experience the series of pelvic contractions known as orgasm. But don’t fear; simply consider yourself preorgasmic. Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., a psychotherapist, sex therapist, and author of Becoming Cliterate, says she has never worked with a preorgasmic woman who didn’t eventually learn to orgasm (except one whose libido was affected by antidepressants—even then, there’s help). The odds are in your favor.
“So many women feel broken when it comes to orgasm,” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin, who teaches women how to orgasm through her course Finishing School and her video series The Female Orgasm Revolution. “I always say that orgasm is a skill, and like any other skill, it takes time, patience, and practice to learn. Just because you haven’t yet learned that skill doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to. It would be like beating yourself up for not being fluent in Spanish, despite never having taking a Spanish class!”
The point is, if you put in the effort to learn to orgasm, you will. “Every woman is capable of orgasm,” says Marin. You just need to figure out what makes you tick. “If someone has not had an orgasm, either alone or with a partner, the most likely culprits are either that they are not getting the type of stimulation they need to orgasm or they have some kind of psychological blockage holding them back,” says Mintz. Both those things can be changed.
Here are some tips for having your first orgasm if you’ve never had one before.
You can definitely learn to orgasm with a partner, but experts say the easiest way to start off is through masturbation. “It’s so important for us to get in touch with our own bodies and discover what we like,” says Marin.
“When alone, you can focus on just yourself and not be worried about anyone else,” Mintz agrees. To make the experience as pleasurable as possible, she recommends using a good lubricant when you masturbate.
2. Try out different hand techniques.
Every woman’s anatomy is different. No one stroke or motion will be the golden ticket for everyone, says Mintz. However, there are lots of techniques that many women find pleasurable—if you experiment with them, you’re bound to find something you like.
Try rubbing circles on your clitoral hood with one or more fingers, tapping on your clitoral hood, rubbing or caressing your labia, rubbing a figure-eight around your clitoris and vaginal opening, squeezing your outer labia together to stimulate your clitoris, and sandwiching your clitoris between two fingers and rubbing it up and down.
Once you find something you like, Marin suggests sticking with that motion for a while. “You’ve probably heard all kinds of myths about how complicated female orgasm is, so you’ll probably feel tempted to mix it up and go crazy with different types of stimulation,” she says. “But the truth is that the body needs consistency; if you keep switching it up, it will feel like starting over. Once you’ve found a specific stroke that feels decent, give that a shot for a good stretch of time.”
3. Consider a vibrator.
If your hands don’t seem to be doing the trick, a vibrator can be a very handy tool. “Many people with vulvas don’t have their first orgasm until they try a vibrator,” says Mintz. Don’t worry that using a vibrator will make it hard to orgasm with a partner down the road. It could actually get you familiar with what you need to orgasm, which will help you no matter what method you’re using.
What can cause orgasm problems in women?
Causes of orgasm problems in women can be physical or psychological.
Common causes of orgasm problems in women include:
- not being stimulated sufficiently
- worrying about sexual performance
- mood disorders, such as depression
- problems with physical health, such as a long-term pain condition like arthritis
- a previous traumatic sexual experience
- problems in the relationship
- hormonal changes or problems, such as the menopause
- taking some types of medicine, such as the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) type of antidepressants
- having previous gynaecological surgery, such as a hysterectomy
- some health conditions, such as heart disease or multiple sclerosis
When can orgasm problems start?
Orgasm problems can be:
- primary: a woman has never had an orgasm
- secondary: she has had orgasms in the past, but cannot have one now
Also some women find they can orgasm when masturbating but not when they are with their partner. This could be due to problems with the relationship or not being stimulated sufficiently.
Some women do not need an orgasm to enjoy sex. However, for other women and their partners, being unable to have an orgasm can be a problem.
Sexual problems in women are common, especially in older women. Around one-third of young and middle-aged women are affected by sexual problems. While it is estimated that around 1 in 2 older women are affected by sexual problems.
Where to get help if you have orgasm problems
If you’re unable to have an orgasm see a GP. They can check for any physical reasons that may be causing the problem, which may well be treatable.
For example, if problems with your pelvis may be a factor, then doing regular pelvic floor exercises designed to strengthen muscles around your bladder, vagina and back passage, may help.
Read more about pelvic floor exercises.
If the cause is psychological, it may help to see a sex therapist or doctor. A GP can refer you, or you can see one privately. Look for a therapist who is a member of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT), or a doctor from the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine.
There’s more information about orgasms and other sexual problems on our page on female sexual problems.
Read the answers to more questions about sexual health.
Page last reviewed: 20 November 2019
Next review due: 20 November 2022
13 Types Of Orgasms Women Can Experience
Happy National Orgasm Day! Today’s the day to address not just how important orgasms are to female sexuality, but just how many of them you are capable of having. You may think that orgasms start and end with the clitoris, especially if you’ve yet to scope out your G-spot, but the clit is the just the beginning of the fun. For example, did you know that you can have a cervical orgasm? Or an orgasm while kissing? Because you can.
Although getting off during sex isn’t the only way to have a good time, it’s still something you may want to try to do — either by yourself or with a partner. The problem is, for 10 to 15 % of women, orgasms are this elusive thing that can be tough to achieve. So if you’ve yet to experience one at all, you’re definitely not alone.
Perhaps today’s the day to begin figuring out what you like. “Start touching your body in different zones, different angles, and discover what works best,” Dr. Carolina Pataky, a relationship and sex therapist, tells Bustle. “Try out different toys, different fantasies, and explore your own sexuality.” And if you have a partner, talk with them about what you do and don’t enjoy, she says, and experiment together — with the goal of having more orgasms.
National Orgasm Day aims to bring attention to the many ways you can have fun. So with that in mind, here are 13 kinds of orgasms that could be on the menu today, and any day.
1. Clitoral Orgasm
With 70% of women needing clitoral stimulation during sex to orgasm, it makes this method one of the most common of them all. Whether you are with a partner, use your fingers, a vibrator, or your favorite shower head, with the right amount of pressure and technique, you’ll probably be able to get there.
After all, “the sole purpose of the clitoris is to provide pleasure,” Pataky says. Everyone is different, she adds, so experiment with different amounts of pressure and movement, to find what’s most enjoyable for you.
2. Nipple Orgasm
You might not think they have anything to do with orgasms, but the reality is “nipples and breasts are major erogenous zones,” Pataky says. You might enjoy having them licked, sucked, touched, caressed — whatever feels best on this super sensitive area. It’s not common to reach orgasm via nipple stimulation alone, Pataky says, but it’s not impossible if it’s entirely pleasurable.
3. Vaginal (G-Spot) Orgasm
A vaginal orgasm happens when the G-spot is activated via penetration. To try ti yourself, “use fingers or a toy and use an ‘upward’ motion toward your stomach and find a spot/area that feels pleasurable for you and continue stimulating that region,” Pataky says. “Once located, and stimulated, woman can reach orgasm.”
4. Mental Orgasm
The biggest sexual organ of all is the brain. In fact, mental orgasms are not an anomaly. Studies have found that although the numbers are small, women can think they’re way to orgasm. (Fun fact: Lady Gaga claims to be one of these women.)
5. Urethra Orgasm
It may seem strange that the part of your body where your urine comes out could be stimulated, but it can! If you look at a diagram of the female anatomy, you’ll see that the urethra is almost totally surrounded by the clitoris (remember your clit is way bigger than you think.) So when your urethra or “U-spot” is stimulated, blood rushes to the opening and fluid within the Skene’s glands begins its production. That fluid is what’s released when a woman squirts while having an orgasm.
6. Skin Orgasm
A skin orgasms or “frissons” is the way your epidermis reacts to intense sensations. Along with trembling, sweating, and becoming flushed, a skin orgasm is also one of sexual arousal. Music, especially, has been discovered to be the source of skin orgasms and studies have found they can be addictive as hell.
7. Kissing Orgasm
If you’ve ever had one of those long, passionate kisses, then you know that, if you at least keep at it, kissing orgasms are real. Lips, being a 100 times more sensitive than fingertips, are one of the few erogenous zones on a women, so it makes sense that 20% of women have experienced orgasms from kissing. It just takes a lot of focus and attention to every sensation you’re feeling.
8. Cervical Orgasm
When the cervix is stimulated it affects that genital sensory cortex in the brain, resulting in an orgasm. But the thing with a cervical orgasm is that it’s achieved from very deep penetration, which can be painful for some women. If you’re experiencing any pain in your hopes of achieving a cervical orgasm, then back off for a while and try something else. There’s no sense in hurting yourself in the process.
9. Sleep Orgasm
While it’s difficult to calculate how often this happens to women, Pataky says, it is possible to have an orgasm while you sleep. “During an erotic and sensual dreams, women are able to come to orgasm,” she says. It has a lot to do with being deeply relaxed and letting your imagination go — which is helpful for having orgasms while awake, too.
10. Anal Orgasm
While many people like to use vibrators so they can orgasm, even without clitoral stimulation you can still climax from anal sex. According to Pataky, “Anal orgasm can be reached via anal stimulation. It can be a wide range of practices: penetrating, licking, fingering, touching, rubbing, etc.”
Never experienced it? Here’s your step-by-step guide.
Also known as coregasms, having an orgasm while working out is something a lot of women experience, especially during ab exercises. According to Alfred Kinsey in a 1953 paper he wrote for Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, 5% of women experience orgasms during exercise. In 2013, Fitness magazine reported that percentage to be at 10, probably because more women exercise now than they did in 1953.
12. Blended Orgasms
A blended orgasm is just what it sounds like: Orgasms from different parts of your body happening at once. Sounds too good to be true, right? Although the most common blended orgasm can be attributed to both a G-spot and clitoral orgasm happening at once, considering how many other parts of the body can be stimulated to orgasm, you can have a blended orgasm that’s pretty much all-encompassing.
13. Multiple Orgasms
Not to be confused with blended orgasms, multiple orgasms are orgasms that happen one right after the other, with no prolonged stopping in between. They’re basically the thing that every woman wants to experience and if she can get them blended, even better.
Again, it can take some time to get to know your body well enough to achieve an orgasm, of any kind. But if you’d like to try having a blended orgasm, nipple orgasm, or kissing orgasm on National Orgasm Day, go ahead and start experimenting!
Dr. Carolina Pataky, relationship and sex therapist
This article was originally published on
90,000 How to bring a girl to orgasm?
This question was submitted by our reader. You can also ask your question to Lifehacker – if it is interesting, we will definitely answer.
How to bring a girl to orgasm?
First, a little theory. Our sex drive and arousal are influenced by two pedals: the gas and the brake.Lazy fantasies that it would be nice to turn on porn or cuddle are 10 kilometers per hour, and 200 kilometers per hour is a sure movement to orgasm.
If you are driving 30 km per hour and even slightly applied the brake, this may be enough to make driving further uninteresting. And if you drive 200 km per hour and slow down to 190, not reaching orgasm, the girl may still think: “Damn, I rode great.”
There is an emotional part and a technical one in achieving an orgasm, let us consider each in more detail.
The factors that affect the gas and brakes depend on the preferences and characteristics of the partner. For some, it is bad breath. For others, it can be the use of violence, thoughts of cheating, an important phone call, turning on the light, worrying about your own body, crying a child, fatigue, stress at work, illness. Or offensive words spoken by a partner: insults, devaluation, unflattering comments. It is extremely rare – an erection missing from a partner.An important point – the pain, if abruptly done wrong, scratched.
One of the factors that pulls on the brakes is safety concerns. It can be associated with domestic or sexual abuse in the past or in a current relationship. This makes the partner tense and fearful.
Contraception is the second common cause of concern for women: if not, it is unreliable or protects against pregnancy, but not against sexually transmitted infections. By increasing the level of safety, you can help your partner to relax and accelerate as much as possible.
Factors that increase arousal are also different for everyone. Someone is aroused by the thought of threesome sex, others are dispersed by a specific Cooney technique, and someone loves to have sex in front of witnesses.
And other girls will be excited by the maximum security, trust, care and everything that confirms that everything is fine in your relationship. That is, everything that happened before you were naked in bed.
The most difficult question is how to understand what a particular girl is hitting the gas best of all.We do not know in advance. We can find out statistically that a certain group of women prefers this and that. You will have to figure out the rest yourself – by talking with the girl. She may know, but she is shy and expects you to take the initiative and ask. And if the girl has little experience, then masturbation and exploration of her body alone or with you will help her.
You need to learn to speak directly about your desires and unwillingness. Most women will benefit from this. And most men will benefit from a little less blind confidence that everything is more or less the same for women.
We’ve got to the cornerstone of any sexual encounter – the issue of consent. Sex is best approached with a beginner’s mind, especially with a new partner. But not only that: the habitual partner’s mood, body condition, emotional and mental state, and the level of fatigue can also change.
Approach a girl as if you are seeing her for the first time and do not know exactly what she will like right now. Be prepared to ask with curiosity, respect, and a willingness to hear no and back off if there is a hint.
You should doubt that you know in advance and read all the signals of women correctly. In your actions, rely only on the “yes”, which is said with enthusiasm and really leaves no doubt that the person wants it.
A more banal and traditional side, which is reflected in most sex trainings, is the technical one, about how to interact directly with the genitals.
Remember – the clitoris is all over the head. If we are talking about orgasm, then most women do not need a penis in the vagina to experience an orgasm.It’s enough that your hands, lips and maybe a vibrator will do to her clitoris.
At the same time, only a little more than a quarter of women are able to experience an orgasm only from the penetration of the penis. Most need additional stimulation and this is completely normal. This usually involves changing your position so that the clitoris is accessible to your or her fingers. Often this is a spoon pose or doggy style. The clitoris can also be stimulated not with fingers, but with a vibrator that is comfortable to hold during coitus – it will definitely bring you to orgasm.
It is also important to remember that there is no need to immediately rush to the visible part of the clitoris, it can even be painful. Most girls prefer a neat and slow approach to this area. The clitoris is also stimulated when you caress the areas closest to its visible part: the anal area, vagina, vulva, labia majora or labia minora.
If the orgasm hasn’t happened, that’s okay too. You don’t have to cum at the same time. It is believed that it is good if the partner finished first, but if you finished earlier, you still have hands, lips, toys to bring her to orgasm if she wants to.Conversely, in the same way, a girl can help her partner come if he wants to. I emphasize this because not always and not all people want to cum. Many people feel that they are too tired, and then the race for orgasm can turn into torture.
People who have the belief that every sex should end with an orgasm often try to get it out at any cost. Because they love their partner very much or it is important for them that everyone must have an orgasm. This often leads to the fact that partners fake an orgasm, so that everything is over quickly or so as not to offend the lover.Don’t do that. Sex is pleasure in general, and orgasm is optional, but very enjoyable.
Read also 🧐
Scientists have named the most unusual ways to bring a woman to orgasm
The list includes socks, the smell of cucumbers and the shape of the nose
The British edition of the Daily Mail presented a selection of recent scientific studies on the factors that affect a man’s sexual attractiveness in the eyes of a woman or the likelihood of a woman having an orgasm.Many items in the published list look at least strange, but in most cases the authors of the article refer to specialists who have seriously devoted scientific research to an unusual topic.
As stated in a recent scientific work, socks on a woman’s legs, paradoxically, increase the likelihood that she will have an orgasm during sex. Despite the reputation of socks as an attribute that rather discourages the desire for intimacy, Dutch researchers concluded that without them, women achieve orgasm only 50 percent of the time, and if they are wearing socks – 80 percent.
As stated in other scientific work, women often feel that men with long noses have a lot of testosterone in their bodies, which makes them more likely to succeed in relationships. Also, the fairer sex find an attractive golden skin tone, which, it is stated, can appear if you add a large amount of carrots to your diet.
Another study found that women find men more sexually attractive in T-shirts with a print or just a big T on their chest – according to experts from Nottingham Trent University, this makes a man’s shoulders look wider, and his waist – narrower, due to what the representative of the stronger sex is subconsciously perceived as more athletic.
Perhaps the strangest and in some ways even repulsive pattern was the observation that women are attracted to men who are similar to their brothers. However, according to Scottish scientists, there is nothing overly unusual in this, since people, most often, subconsciously seek to continue the race with those who are not too similar to them, but are not too different, so that people who are not relatives, but have there are some similarities with them, they involuntarily attract attention.
Last year, researchers at the University of Vienna concluded that girls are more likely to be sympathetic to a young man if they play music they like. Researchers explain this by the fact that the subconscious mind interprets the pleasure of hearing for the joy of communicating with a man and, as a result, sympathy for him. At the same time, it is argued that men themselves are less susceptible to this.
It is not only what she sees or hears, but also the smells that she smells that can increase the likelihood that a woman is interested in a man.At the same time, it is argued that during the experiments, the smell of cucumber turned out to be unexpectedly “exciting”.
Two points, to some extent, contradict each other. On the one hand, experts from the UK argue that women (especially those seeking long-term relationships) are more likely to find selfish men who admire themselves more attractive. On the other hand, their colleagues noticed that women find very attractive men who can feel guilty (as the authors of the second study suggested, a guilty expression on a face can give hope, albeit often false, that a man will not do this or that act again).
How to bring a girl to orgasm with two fingers (G-spot caress) – FEMDOMMANIA.RU
The article was written by one of my fans.
Want to see a happy woman? Then bring her to orgasm.
Perhaps this is one of the fastest methods to deliver an orgasm to a woman. To do this, your hands need to be put in order! They should be clean, the skin soft, if there are calluses, hard spots on the skin from work, then all this should be eliminated! Nails must be carefully trimmed so that they do not catch on anything! Hands should be warm, better hot!
To get the desired effect (to give her an orgasm) quickly, her mental state must be calm, in other words, mentally calm.Ideally, if the woman is already a bit aroused before this, for which you can turn on a porn film.
When everything is ready, caress her clitoris with your tongue. Gently spread the labia apart, so the clitoris is exposed and stretched for greater sensitivity. If you have unshaven stubble, do not touch it !!! It’s like you use an iron construction brush in the balls!
For those men whose profession is ruthless to their hands, for example, car mechanics, construction workers, and any kind of activity where hands have contact with dirt, chemicals, oil products, I recommend wiping your hands with vodka before the session.There are special gels for hand sanitization in pharmacies and sex shops.
Fondling the clitoris with your tongue is necessary in order to induce a natural vaginal lubrication, which will provide the best glide and safety. Use the tip of your tongue to fiddle with the hood of the clitoris, the clitoris itself. Faster, slower, change the force of pressure, watch the reaction of the Woman. Now gently insert your middle finger halfway into the vagina. Always watch the reaction of your spouse, you should be on the “crest of the wave” of her feelings. It’s like in business, unconscious intuition, when you manage to feel every moment, read everything from the emotions on the woman’s face, from her moans, then you will 100 percent come to success.You don’t need to think too much here.
Move your finger back and forth, again caress the clitoris with your tongue. Mix the caresses one by one. But in the end, choose the mode in which your spouse begins to plunge into sweet captivity, and lead him to the victorious, accelerating the pace. Massage the upper wall of the vagina, this is where the G-spot is located. See pictures:
Make flexion movements of your finger so that the pad strokes point G. Insert the second finger and touch them: one, second, one, second.Be sure to watch your spouse’s reaction! If something is wrong, then stop right there! Start again with more gentle caresses. Use the second method:
One finger in the vagina, the second in the anus. In this case, you just need to enter, withdraw your fingers, keeping a certain rhythm and speed, look for them. The pressure should be directed to the top walls. Use vaginal lubricant or your saliva to easily and pleasantly insert your finger into the anus.
Use the third method, if you catch the impulse, it can bring a woman to orgasm in just seconds!
Press the pad of your index finger against the clitoris and quickly drive in different directions.The movement should be like a piston in an engine: fast but gentle, lubricated. You can also insert your fingers into the vagina, anus, and with your tongue caress the clitoris as well as with your finger in different directions.
It may happen that the first time nothing works. Do not be discouraged, because this matter depends on a bunch of factors, including mood. But it may be that your spouse will explode with pleasure, and in the future will ask you about it. The ability to give orgasms with your fingers and tongue is the only way to be sexually beneficial for your wife when you do not have the right to have sex with your wife (locked in a chastity belt)! Take it on board! A good cuckold husband is simply obliged to be able to satisfy his wife in different ways, even if he is allowed to penetrate her with a dick.See the picture below:
You can also slide your finger up and down or obliquely. I recommend stretching the labia to the sides, this increases the woman’s sensuality. She can help you in this matter herself, as shown in the picture above. In general, during sex, it is useful to push the buttocks apart, thereby freeing up the target stroke, a woman really likes to be “taut” when her genital perineum is stretched almost to the limit, perhaps that is why some like to play with huge dildos and are addicted to stretching the vagina to unprecedented sizes, and anus.
It happens that in practice the G-point is not so easy to find. Every woman has it in the same place, but at the same time in different places. See the picture below:
The coveted G-point, which provides a powerful orgasm for a woman, is located on the upper wall of the vagina, exact coordinates, as in geography, may exist, but we do not see how it is inside, everything is to the touch. For a woman, the stroking touches of her fingers on the upper wall are pleasant, but if you manage to find the G-point and maintain a certain pace of movements and pressing, then there will be an explosion in literally 20-30 seconds! Your spouse will involuntarily grab anything that comes under her arms, squeeze her legs, so be careful.As a rule, a woman does not understand what she is doing at this moment and, perhaps, will not remember how she scratched you with her nails, or strangled / squeezed you with her feet.
If today you have given your passion pleasure with skillful fingers at one point, then tomorrow at the same point such an effect may not work, look again, the truth is somewhere nearby! The female orgasm is a lifelong art to learn. What could be more beautiful than an orgasmic Woman in bed?
It is important to understand that it is not only your duty to bring a woman to orgasm, but she herself is also a direct participant! In order for a woman to quickly catch an orgasm, she must, first of all, be open emotionally, nothing should embarrass her! The psychological mood of a woman should be relaxed.Therefore, if you fail to give her an orgasm, then the reason is not only in you, but in any case, the Woman decides how to act and treat you! Your task is to accept the individual sexuality of your chosen one and adapt to it, learn and improve.
It is important to add that the best stimulation of the G-spot on the upper wall of the vagina is achieved not by fingers, but by a good penis on average 16-18 cm with a prominent head. To do this, you need to take a pose when the woman lies on the bed, legs apart, and her feet are on the floor.At the same time, the man kneels on the same floor and the angle of entry of the penis into the vagina is 30-45 degrees – thus, the head of the penis precisely hits the upper wall, and with the proper pace and duration, it will successfully start to hit the G-spot due to its size (4 , 5-5 cm diameter), which is much larger than a finger. Plus, the head itself is many times softer and warmer than the hands. When they say that the size of the penis does not matter, they say not entirely the truth. It has, and to deliver full satisfaction to a woman, on average, it should be 15-18 cm in length, 4-5 cm in diameter.If a man with a smaller member regularly delivers a vaginal internal orgasm to a woman (not external clitoral), then he can only be congratulated on his success. Conversely, if a man has the right size or more and at the same time women do not really finish with him, then read this guide to him!
90,000 10 tips on how to bring a girl to orgasm
How to bring a girl to orgasm correctly?
After all, each of us wants to be the perfect lover for each and every one? Always bring things to a logical conclusion, with fireworks at the end, applause and an encore? Right?
To do this, one must understand that a female orgasm is not only physiology – orgasm for girls is when the soul itself ends.Any girl wants to share such closeness with her beloved man. A man whose sympathy she herself wants to achieve.
You will read it in 5 minutes.
But do not forget that a joint night does not consist of achieving an orgasm alone – you have to be handsome in all aspects!
One way or another, if you become the angel who will give her this sweet bliss every night before going to bed, then all the jokers are in your sleeve and no matter how she goes in this game, only you will emerge victorious.From now on, you will set the role model of your relationship. And assign roles too.
And in general, you yourself will be happy if your girlfriend is full of joy.
So, what is your main task? You are aiming not at the minimum, but at the maximum. Finding a vagina and enjoying it like a donkey is not your destiny. You are a macho! And no less. Your mission is to bring the girl to orgasm before she even penetrates her!
As in the joke: “A well-fixed patient does not need anesthesia.”So a girl who has finished even before the start of the main process will not be in tension to wait for maximum efforts from you, and for both sex will become a simple and natural process of obtaining pleasure, during which you can bring her to orgasm again or more.
What is the right way to bring any girl to orgasm?
Tip 1: Relaxation and Romance
The girl should be calm, relaxed, focused only on the feelings between you, nothing should distract her.The environment around you during this process is very important. Nothing superfluous, no superfluous sounds, no superfluous, of course. Everything should be prepared for the perfect pastime.
A light trail of romance will not hurt – dim light, scented candles, quiet music.
And don’t worry yourself, the main thing! Your excitement will be passed on to your partner, and what will it be then? Two scared Chihuahuas under the covers? If you don’t worry, then there’s nothing to worry about.Be both on the same page. Be one wave, figuratively speaking.
Tip 2: listen to the feelings of the girl
It is important that you and your partner have an open dialogue about what is happening. It is not necessary, out of modesty or fear to frighten off the moment, to keep silent, if one of you is uncomfortable, something does not like it. If one of you does something that is unpleasant for the other, it hurts too much, or the pace of what is happening is not chosen correctly.
Match both to each other, find right during sex a scheme that suits both – and no longer be distracted by anything unnecessary.
Tip 3: Let Her Touch You
Remember that the girl is not an object for the obligatory (for show) rude “pawing”. Both of you enjoy each other’s bodies to the same extent – let her touch and stroke you wherever and how she pleases.
Tip 4: Identify and Caress the Girl’s Erogenous Zones
During light petting, even before the moment of sexual intercourse, unobtrusively identified your girlfriend’s erogenous zones. When on dates or just close communication, kiss her neck, earlobe, palm, or, for example, her collarbone.Follow the girl’s reaction and immediately take note of all the places, the touch of which brings her pleasure, so that when the crucial moment comes, do not “run around” in a hurry all over her body, like a madman.
The girl will be pleasant both physically, and also because you know so well and remember where she is pleased.
Tip 5: Preludes
And yet … preludes. Remember that foreplay is not needed for a fact, but precisely because without them, sex for a girl will not seem complete.Take it for granted, and remember that both of you will get what you want if you both try for it. Make it nice to the girl, and she will reciprocate you. Enjoy yourself by giving pleasure to your girlfriend.
Tip 6: Turn the girl on gradually
Remember: a girl is like a delicate exotic fruit. Anxiously remove layer by layer of her clothes and joyfully greet each new exposed fragment of her body with your hands and kisses.
It would be foolish to rip off at once all her clothes, obviously specially selected for this night, and sharply confront her with the fact that right now, in a second, you will have sex.The girl will not have time to get aroused, or maybe she will change her mind or be frightened.
Advice 7: undress and fondle each other in turns
First, take turns taking things off each other. It is not comme il faut to first strip the girl naked, and then dance in front of her, clumsily pulling off his pants.
Secondly, when it comes to her bust, remember that the girl does not have breasts, but, nevertheless, breasts, and they both want affection. Start stimulating this beautiful place from the very center to one nipple, then again from the center to the other.
Tip 8: Stripping and Erogenous Zones
And now we come to the crucial moment (although all the previous moments were also very important!), Take off your panties, the girl’s panties, kiss and gently touch, smooth her erogenous points.
Tip 9: Kissing and Stimulation
Next, without ceasing to gently kiss the girl, proceed to stimulate the G-spot with your fingers. Remember that you are faced with the task of bringing her to orgasm even before penetration.
Tip 10: Caress the G-Spot
Feel the G area you need, and stimulate it with your fingers, moving them across (not along!), With such a pace and effort that the girl would be pleased.
Gradually the speed and the applied force must be increased. The main thing is to constantly observe the girl’s reaction.
If all the points are performed correctly and skillfully, then in five minutes, maximum twenty minutes later, the girl will have to finish, and then you can safely continue the coitus, without fear that one of you will be dissatisfied. Good luck!
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90,000 How to bring a girl to orgasm
In this article I will tell you everything you need to know in order to excite, bring a girl to orgasm and fully satisfy the vast majority of the fair sex. You won’t need months of hard training. All you need is to drop the preconceptions about your sexual performance, stamina and penis size, since from now on it will not matter to you or your girlfriend .The most important thing is to just read carefully and open your mind, body and heart to this knowledge, which will help you bring almost any (99%) girl to orgasm and G-spot orgasm.
There is no one way to orgasms of different girls
Before starting, I would like to immediately explain to all men one small but very important detail, without which all your knowledge and efforts may be in vain. All girls are different – their physiological and psychological characteristics, sexual openness, etc. Therefore, do not be surprised if the technique described below works by 150% on one, and a little worse on the other. Remember that every girl is unique, inimitable and you need to find your own approach to each. How do you find this approach? No matter how strange it may sound to you, the girl herself should help you with this. That is why your main tool and weapon should be your tongue !!))) And you will need it not only to caress the girl, but in order to establish feedback with her, that is, learn to communicate with her about her tastes, feelings and preferences in sex.You can, of course, go the way to her orgasm on your own by trial and error, but how long you will go to it and whether you will reach – no one knows. Most often, no one knows her body better than the girl herself, so if you want to learn how to manage pleasure in her body, talk to the girl and ask her. This does not mean that you need to bombard her with questions during sex. Not! After all, this can be discussed later. What she liked more and how, what she felt and what she would like to change. Stop pleasing your ego and mistakenly believing that you know everything about her body, including how to bring any girl to orgasm.After all, most girls are initially altruistic, that is, they will experience pleasure even from the fact that they satisfied you, even if they themselves did not experience an orgasm. Many even go for a simulation of orgasm, so as not to offend you and not hurt your ego. That is why, initially, you need to make the girl understand (say) that you really want to bring her to a dizzying orgasm, but you will need her help. Tell her not to be ashamed of you, to suggest something and say what and how it is more pleasant for her.Spend some time researching her sexuality and it will pay off with interest! And the main return will be her stunning orgasms.
4 main steps to a girl’s orgasm
We will consider and analyze 4 basic steps that you need to complete in order to bring a girl to orgasm:
- stimulation of erogenous zones
In order to satisfy the girl, first of all, you need to relax her physically and psychologically, relax her body, then excite the girl, and only then proceed to various manipulations with the erogenous zones, which as a result will lead her to orgasm and ejaculation.It is worth noting that the last 4th step “sexual intercourse” is already an additional step, which is essentially a continuation of the 3rd (“stimulation of erogenous zones”). It’s just that now this stimulation will be done in the usual form for all men, that is, with the help of a penis.
Only after you have completed the first three steps, you can proceed to the 4th, that is, the most sexual intercourse, which will inevitably bring the girl to orgasm. At the same time, with a high probability, she will experience an orgasm even before the very sexual intercourse.But more on that below. I want to practically help every man learn to give his girlfriend orgasms. Every woman has everything in order to experience orgasm and ejaculation, and a man just needs to help her by applying his knowledge, desire and a little patience to this.
Psychological conditions conducive to orgasm
Psychological factors are key. In order to arouse a girl and bring her to the G-zone orgasm and ejaculation, you need to get acquainted with some physical and psychological techniques.I will start with the psychological moments, because no matter how well you prepare physically, if you fail to master some of the psychological moments of dealing with a woman, as well as self-control, everything else you have done may cease to make sense and give absolutely no result. Therefore, I want to emphasize the particular importance of trust, emancipation, and the desire to act at the right time.
She Should Trust You
Satisfying a girl by bringing her to the G-spot orgasm and ejaculating with it is possible under several conditions, among which one of the most important is trust – she must 100% trust herself and her partner, that is, you.The fact is that if, for example, a clitoral orgasm can be stopped, then the orgasm of the G zone, if it has begun, can not be stopped by anything, since it rolls in waves one after another on an increasing scale and at these moments the girl loses full control over her body. Therefore, in order for her to allow herself to experience such an orgasm with you, she needs to deeply trust you, even on a subconscious level.
Many people say to me: “Ok, this is possible only for those couples who have been living together for a long time, but what about my new girlfriend?” .The fact is that a long life together does not at all mean that there is complete trust between partners, that necessary level of it that is needed for an enchanting orgasm. Very often, couples do not succeed due to the fact that the woman does not completely trust herself, which does not allow her to relax enough, or she does not trust her partner enough. These difficulties need to be solved through communication.
The more relaxed the girl, the easier it is to bring her to orgasm
One of the main conditions for a girl to reach a G-spot orgasm is relaxation – not only physical, but also psychological.At the moment of your intimacy, she should not experience any worries and worries, nothing should bother her. Her thoughts and body should be entirely in the same place – namely, here and now with you. She should be fully involved and immersed in the process of your love meeting. Only under these conditions can one proceed to her physical relaxation, that is, relaxation of her body.
The fact is that under the influence of our fears, worries and worries, muscles are clamped, and tense muscles are one of the main barriers to achieving orgasm.A truly powerful orgasm can only be experienced by a completely relaxed body. Spasmodic muscles pinch blood vessels and disrupt normal blood circulation, which leads to an insufficient supply of oxygen to the tissues. And oxygen is the main transporter in the body and pleasure as well.
Therefore, before trying to excite a girl and bring her to orgasm, take care of an atmosphere that should be conducive to relaxation. A comfortable bed, pleasant smells, gentle music that caresses the ear, maybe a little wine to relax (just a little).
You are probably wondering now: “So how can you relax her body?” The best and most effective way is erotic massage, but we will talk about it in more detail a little later.
You must like it
No matter how trite it may sound, but in order to excite a girl you must like her, attract her and she must want this intimacy, want to share this pleasure with you, because in order to achieve orgasm you both have to work a little.If she does not like to have sex or does not want to have sex now, or you simply do not physically attract each other and do not excite each other, then all the recommendations and tips described below will be useless. But if she wants to experience an orgasm with you and achieve new brighter sensations or reach a new higher level of intimacy, then everything will turn out very easy for you.
She should be focused on sex and not be distracted
This seems very easy at first glance, but in reality it is not always easy to achieve it.A girl can easily think about her hair or her makeup, or think if she looks stupid in front of you, is she sexy, etc. Therefore, do not skimp on words. Whisper in her ear how beautiful she is and how much she turns you on. Only if she is confident can you focus her attention on her feelings and arousal . This is why erotic massage is so important. In addition to the fact that it relaxes the body, it also helps your beloved to tune in to herself and to you and to those feelings that you give each other with the help of touch.If you suddenly feel that she begins to think about something else as not related to what is happening, ask her something, for example: “Do you feel so good?” or “Do you like it when I do this?” Just do not be zealous and bombard her with endless questions, do it only when you really see that she is distracted. Try to focus her attention on your intimacy.
Just do not try to do this in your underpants !!!)))
Men, remember – you must be undressed!)) One friend of mine complained to me that he could not excite a girl enough for her to experience orgasm and ejaculation.I asked about the details and he told me that he was in bed with her in his underpants. I asked him to imagine a tiger in the jungle and asked: “When do tigers do it they are wearing shorts”? Wouldn’t you like to become a tiger in her bed? This is what distinguishes us from our smaller brothers. Therefore, put all the conventions of civilization aside if you want to satisfy a girl and so that your sex with her was bright and passionate.
Physiological characteristics of female orgasm
Now, after we have considered the psychological conditions that must be created in order to bring a girl to orgasm, we need to understand and understand some physiological features that will help us to understand even more the nature of our fair half.
Accelerates slowly, but travels for a long time
It is on this principle that female arousal works. In this respect, women and I are completely different. If a man, in order to get aroused and start sex, will be enough with just one thought or one erotic fantasy, then for women the opposite is true. Her excitement is like a heavy railway locomotive that slowly picks up speed, but if it picks up, then nothing can stop it. Also in women. They slowly gradually become aroused, but if they become very aroused, then their orgasms will go one after another and you will not have to put too much effort for this.That is why we will direct all our efforts just to excite the girl as much as possible.
One friend complained to me: “I give her an erotic massage, excite her as much as I can, but what about myself?” Of course, sex should bring pleasure to both her and you, but you, as a man, need to take on some preparatory and warming up work. As soon as you start and accelerate the excitement of your partner to the desired speed, sex immediately begins to please both of you. But in the beginning you should act on the principle of receiving pleasure from the pleasure of your beloved .
The main thing is that you feel comfortable . Your bed or any other place that you have chosen for an intimate meeting should be comfortable, so that you and your loved one feel comfortable, so that you can easily touch any parts of each other’s body.
Increase her self-confidence through touch
Constantly build trust in each other through touch.These touches and caresses should apply not only to her obvious erogenous zones – breasts, vagina, nipples, etc., but also to all other parts of her body.
Remember, you ever kissed her eyelids or eyebrows, did you caress her hair slowly with your fingers through it, did you enjoy sliding the tip of your tongue along her spine, throat or around her ear? You will rather ask: “Does it really affect the girl’s orgasm?” And I will boldly answer you: “Yes. And again Yes !!! ” In order for a girl to experience the G-spot orgasm, she needs to feel your love, to feel that you like her from head to toe, that every part of her body drives you crazy.Such gentle touching of a girl’s body in unusual places can develop her trust in you to such an extent that she will never interfere with you in anything and will allow you to do whatever you want with herself.
Full erotic massage
Erotic massage will help to relax, excite and satisfy the girl. Any erotic massage begins with warming up the palms and lubricating them with oil to make the touch warmer, softer and more pleasant. You can start with the palms, gradually moving along the arm to the shoulders and neck.At the same time, it will not be superfluous if you kiss your partner from time to time, and it does not matter where – it can be her finger, her hands, neck or lips. In more detail, erotic massage is described in a series of training videos on the erotic massage page.
All of us have often noticed in ourselves and in our partners that when we make love, our eyes unconsciously close. But here it is worth noting that it would be better not to cover them and maintain eye contact with your partner.Such contact helps not to be distracted from what is happening and is constantly physically and mentally in the process. If your loved one closes her eyes, tell her that you would like to see her charming eyes all the time. It is not necessary that you constantly look into each other’s eyes, the main thing is that she watches what is happening and gets excited by it even faster. Let her see that you, giving her a massage, get no less pleasure from it than she herself.
All parts of the body are interconnected
Continuing to massage, gradually go down from the neck to her shoulders, and then down along the chest and down along the ribs.It is worth noting the relationship of ribs and breasts, so do not be surprised if a girl tells you that you are stroking her ribs, and she somehow feels her breasts in an unusual way. By the way, the same can be said about the female buttocks, which are closely related to the female genitals and the vagina in particular. That is why girls are very often aroused when a man begins to knead their buttocks. Therefore, when you do massage, pay worthy attention to this beautiful part of the female body.
Do this gently, but at the same time squeeze and squeeze them powerfully.A massage like this can turn a girl on great. You yourself can get terribly excited and want to enter it. But do not succumb to temptations, since your main goal at this stage is to excite the girl as much as possible so that she literally flows from desire – only in this case we will be able to bring the girl to the G-spot orgasm. If you want to caress her nipples, but not it is worth sucking them like a nipple, just gently take them with your lips as if you want to taste. Or you can gently move the tip of your tongue around the papilla – this is also very stimulating.
Don’t touch her vagina
Continue the massage, going down the thighs to the knees and down the shins to the feet. Cover all these parts of the body with kisses, but remember that her vagina should not be touched until the very last moment. You can rise as much as you like to the shoulders and chest, then again descend to the feet while circling around and around the vagina, but in no case touch the vagina itself. This will tease your partner even more and dispel her arousal.
Do not forget about your feet, many women love when they have a foot massage. Although I am not a fitishist in foot massage, if I want to suck her thumb, I will. If you also want to do this at some point, then do not deny yourself this. You should strive to completely relax absolutely her entire body.
Relationship between physical and psychological factors
After massaging the front of the body, ask your woman to roll over on her stomach.Continue the massage, going up the back of your legs. Rising from the feet to the buttocks along the back of the legs, pay attention to the popliteal region, which is very sensitive to kissing. If you move your tongue over it, it will give the girl an unusual and very pleasant sensation, which will represent a mixture of something ticklish, but at the same time pleasant. Also, the inner thighs are very sensitive to kissing, which should also be given attention. Then rise higher to the buttocks.
I already talked about the close relationship of the buttocks and vagina, so when you massage her buttocks, imagine and keep in mind this relationship.Notice how the lips of her vagina move. All parts of our body are interconnected with each other, so when you stimulate one, you automatically affect the other, forming a chain reaction that can lead to incredibly strong arousal of erogenous zones.
Breathe on her vagina
My favorite stage of erotic massage is to breathe on her vagina. I get as close to him as possible and begin with an effort to breathe on him and on the inner thighs.Unlike men, women love this kind of arousal. I myself am excited by the way the girl moans with pleasure. When I breathe on her vagina, I try to wrap my lips around it completely. At such moments, I want to go into her with my tongue as deeply as possible, but I don’t, because I want to excite the girl as much as possible. After that, continue to move up to her buttocks, while not ceasing to massage, lick and squeeze them. Then on the lower back and back, rise even higher to the very shoulders, continue the massage there.
When you move from her buttocks to her shoulders, it will be more comfortable to sit astride in such a way that your penis rubbed against her buttocks or between them – this will have a very exciting effect on your partner. You don’t need to deliberately focus on it, just keep doing the massage. The girl, feeling your “excitement”, which rubs against her buttocks, will get even more excited. The massage should last as long as necessary in order to completely relax and arouse your partner.There are no clear boundaries here, but on average it would not be bad to do a massage from 15 minutes to 1 hour. Remember that being attentive to your partner’s feelings is one of the core skills of being a great lover.
Is it time to move on to vaginal stimulation?
It is clear that we will hardly be able to bring the girl to orgasm with one erotic massage. But we remember that this massage lays the foundation for her future orgasm – it allows a girl to be aroused.
After you massage her whole body, you need to understand if she is ready for vaginal stimulation. How to determine this? Very simple – ask her to roll over onto her back. When she rolls over, pay attention to her legs. If, when she rolls over, she spreads them enough so that you can put your palm on her vagina without touching her inner thighs – this is a sure sign that your beloved is ready and passionately wants you to start interacting with her most erogenous part of her body – her vagina.
Is she relaxed enough?
When you turn your partner over and make sure she is ready to stimulate the vagina, lie on your side and hug her. Pay attention to whether she responds to you with a mutual hug. If this happens, it will indicate her great sexual desire, which she wants to share with you. It is not possible to issue this. Therefore, hugging your partner, you will make sure that she is sufficiently relaxed and trusting in you.
Is the girl horny enough?
There are several indications that she is already aroused and ready for further developments.
- Deep rapid breathing
- She often licks her lips and swallows saliva
- Her vagina exudes abundant lubricant . If you take it on your finger and rub it with others, you will feel how slippery it is. You can see her visually when the woman is very aroused. It literally flows down from her vagina in a thick drop. Or you can feel it by lightly touching her vagina with your fingers.
- Movement of her body .The main sign that a woman is quite aroused and ready for sex is the undulating movements of her hips and the squirming movements of her entire body. They may be subtle and expressionless, but they are always sensual and sexy. When you notice that she begins to do all or part of the above, this is a sign that you can start touching her vagina and try to bring her to orgasm, as she already desires this passionately.
If you feel and see that nothing like this is happening to her, continue to do erotic massage, touching her more and more with your penis.Rub your cock against her thighs or belly, while kissing her belly and ribs gradually down to her pubis. Lick her thighs (where the torso meets the thigh). These areas have very delicate skin and are therefore very sensitive to kissing and tongue contact. If all this does not help and your partner still does not show any signs of arousal, take care of the psychological conditions I mentioned earlier. Most likely you missed something earlier. Your loved one may not be relaxed enough.She may not trust herself or you enough, she may not be confident enough or have any other problems.
Many do not know and do not even realize that the area above the pubis is very erogenous in women. During arousal, a large amount of blood begins to circulate here. Rub this area gently across your torso for about a minute, but not more as it may be useless. When rubbing this place, be very careful and gentle and at the same time you can iron her hair on her head, kiss her neck, lips or ears, but at the same time do not forget that this is another living person, and not a toy for sexual pleasures or experiments.
We have checked and made sure that she is relaxed and aroused enough. Now you can safely proceed to one of the final stages of bringing the girl to orgasm, namely, to stimulate her most erogenous zones, which is her vagina.
Body position for vaginal and G-spot stimulation
You can excite the G-spot in different positions – when the girl is lying on her stomach or back, you can also do this while standing. But when you first try to stimulate a girl’s G-spot, it is better not to complicate your life and allow your beloved to take the most comfortable position for her, lying on her back or stomach.Try this or that and determine the most acceptable and comfortable option for yourself and your partner. Vaginal massage is shown in more detail in the following videos:
Touching her vagina
Place your palm on her vagina with your fingers around it. Let her feel the warmth that your palm radiates. If she is aroused enough, she may try to make counter movements to you in order to more tightly press her vagina against your palm – avoid this and do not increase the pressure.Just keep your palm on her vagina, letting her feel the warmth of your touch. Remember that before performing any manipulations on the vagina and even more so on the clitoris, you need to lubricate your hand with oil or moisten it with saliva, since the girls’ skin there is very delicate and sensitive.
Then very gently run your fingers over her outer labia majora. You may already be dying of the desire to enter her and she may already want this passionately and beg you for it, but be patient and do not give in to your desires.Gently continue stroking her vagina with your fingers, keeping in mind the clitoris (see where the clitoris is), the labia minora and the inner walls of the vagina. Then rotate the outer large lips of the vagina. Your girlfriend by this time may already have a clitoral or radial orgasm or be very close to it – this is quite likely, but all this is not exactly what we are really striving for, so try to control yourself.
Place two middle fingers on her vagina and slowly, slowly, slightly apart the large labia, sink them inward so that each of the fingers is in the hollow between the large labia and the small one, which borders on the entrance to the vagina.If you place your hand correctly, your clitoris will be between your two middle fingers. Hold your hand in this way, slowly swinging it from side to side or making circular motions. Try to feel its moisture, which by this time should already be released in abundance. As you do this, imagine her clitoris being stimulated against your fingers. It’s like it’s a little tongue licking between my fingers.
Many, trying to satisfy the girl, actively focus on the clitoris.It is clear that it is easy to find and easy to stimulate. But we will go further and bring her to such an orgasm, which is much more comprehensive and sensual than a clitoral orgasm. Therefore, we will use the clitoris not to bring the girl to orgasm, but as an additional means to excite the girl. Stimulating the clitoris is one of the steps towards bringing a girl to a G-spot orgasm. In the end, you yourself will understand that the clitoris is not the only arousal zone in women for a long time or the magic button for achieving orgasm.
I still have not talked about cunnilingus, because if you are trying to bring a girl to a vaginal G-spot orgasm for the first time, it will rather distract than help, because it violates the necessary level of intimacy, which is not desirable to lose. Plus, cunnilingus takes a woman a little away from that necessary place where she should focus her attention and collect all her feelings – namely in the vagina. But if you and your beloved are already familiar with the G-spot and the sensations that it can give, cunnilingus, on the contrary, can become another helper for arousing your partner.You can just gently play with your tongue with her clitoris and lips, or you can additionally help yourself with your fingers, inserting them inside and making rotational movements along the walls of the vagina. More detailed and detailed information on how this is done can be found on the pages:
Control your excitement, but don’t hide it
Although a man should control himself, he should not hide his excitement. On the contrary, you must show your desire in every possible way with movements of words or sounds.The girl needs to feel that you are as good as her. Otherwise, she will subconsciously feel distrust and will not be able to completely surrender to your control. At the first stages, it may seem difficult to you, because you will constantly think about what and why you need to do, and in addition, you also need to monitor the partner’s reaction to certain caresses, the degree of her arousal, and so on. But over time, when you to some extent master everything written here, it will be much easier for you, since you will no longer think, you will feel.And this, in turn, will free your head from a heap of thoughts, allow you to plunge more into the whole gamut of feelings and sensations that you will give to each other and will allow your excitement to manifest in all its strength.
Don’t let the girl touch your cock
You have been with a girl for a long time in such an intimate setting and naturally you yourself really want to experience the sweet feelings of touch in your penis. And she, perhaps, herself is already eager to do it.But giving in to her at some point and allowing it to do so, you may not notice how you will be distracted from the G-spot and focus on your feelings. If you want to bring a girl to orgasm and satisfy her, do not give in to her persuasion to enter her, do not be a weakling. Be patient, because you want to give her something special, something stronger.
G-spot and its stimulation
When your partner is sufficiently relaxed and aroused, insert your middle finger into the vagina and slide it gently along the front wall of the vagina just below the pubic bone.You will feel roughness and peculiar irregularities there – this is the so-called zone or point G. See where point G is (photo). In principle, you can explore and stimulate the G-spot with any finger that is more convenient for you. Some prefer to use the thumb, some use the middle, and others use the knuckles altogether. Remember, whatever pleases and satisfies the two of you will do.
First, try to find the G-spot with your finger, and do not forget to gently hug your loved one with your other hand to let her know that she can trust you and that she is safe with you.Take advantage of this to feel her entire body. Caress her hair, try to feel her breasts fill and fall as she breathes, let your hips and legs feel the heat of your bodies. From then on, she can begin to communicate with you using the sounds and language of her body, showing her pleasure from the sensations that you give her. You can answer her, hug her even more tenderly, or tell her how much she turns you on and how much you want her.
So with each step you will act on each other better, feel the parterre and enjoy the same excitement as she does.Caress your vagina as gently as possible by inserting your finger into it. Run along the middle wall of the vagina, try to feel the protrusions and find the G-spot. Then place your finger on the G-spot and let your partner feel it. You have to find the G-spot and, as if teasing, continue to hold your finger on it and then it will move to your fingers the way it wants to be touched. All this time, you should continue to hug, kiss and caress the girl, without stopping to carefully monitor all the smallest movements of her G-spot, because if you touch her gently, she will show you the way to her.
Continue to massage the G-spot by moving your finger up and down for about a minute. When rubbing, you can feel that the roughness and bulges will begin to gradually smooth out, and her papilla will begin to release moisture abundantly. Gradually and carefully increase the pressure, while at the same time imagining how these protrusions are smoothed and leveled. Watch your movements so as not to scratch the delicate surface with your nails – use only the pads of your fingers.
What if the ridges and bumps are not smoothed out?
If the protrusions and bumps do not smooth out or reappear after a while, move on to softer and more gentle movements.These bulges and roughness work in the same way as the nipples of the female breast – their structure changes. You need to ensure that they become soft, so you need to touch them as gently as possible.
Technique and methods of G-spot massage
There are 2 main ways to massage the G-spot.
- Rhythmic pressure . Imagine that the girl is lying on her back and you insert your finger into the vagina, holding your palm with the inside towards you. Find the G-spot on the front wall and simply press on it rhythmically.
- Slip . The second way is that you press it once and then just slide your finger along it, as if trying to rub it. In this case, you should not press too hard, but slide your fingers very slowly and gently. Once you understand how to do this, you can increase your speed and pressure.
When you’re just trying to figure out what turns a girl on more, try both of these approaches in turn. While doing this, pay close attention to not only her breathing and body language, but also how the G-spot reacts to your touch.
Cervix during G-spot stimulation
You yourself can feel how the cervix itself strives to meet you for stimulation. A woman is not able to experience an orgasm in the G zone from stimulation of the cervix, but it is great for some, while others do not like it. Personally, I think it’s just amazing.
Vaginal Contractions – Time to Get More Stimulation!
During the G-spot massage, pay attention to the vaginal walls and you will feel that they contract slightly at intervals of 10-20 seconds.Once you feel these contractions, then it’s time to connect your 2nd finger and insert 2 fingers together into the vagina to increase pressure and stimulation. When you insert another finger, hug and caress the woman even more, demonstrating that she has nothing to worry about and that you can be trusted, you will do everything to give her maximum pleasure and so that you do not do you do not harm her.
Vaginal convulsions – a sign of approaching orgasm!
Finally, you will feel that the walls of the vagina move apart, tremble with a small tremor when you touch them with your fingers.You will feel that a vacuum has been created in the vagina, which sucks everything into itself. The walls of the vagina have expanded and the space inside has increased. These are all signs that the girl is boldly approaching a G-spot orgasm and subsequent ejaculation.
Perhaps you have already reached something like this, but yours did not experience a G-spot orgasm, because you did not know, firstly, what to do next and what kind of stimulation to carry out, and secondly, it was all about the psychological factors that I was talking about spoke earlier, the main of which is the woman’s trust, the ability to give herself under your full control.And finally, she did not experience ejaculation due to the fact that she was simply afraid to wet herself in front of you, but more on that below.
Pre-ejaculation – she’s about to cum!
Before ejaculation and orgasm, the girl’s vagina will be filled with liquid. This fluid is fundamentally different from vaginal lubrication. Firstly, it is more liquid and not so thick, and secondly, it is released instantly in one second. This is the same as the liquid that is released from a man before he ejaculates. When you feel this liquid in her vagina, you can be proud, because until then you did everything right.So, hug, fondle, kiss and keep doing what you did, because you almost brought the girl to orgasm and it is about to come.
Just before orgasm, it may seem to her that she wants to write
The G-spot and bladder are very close and until a woman experiences ejaculation she will not be able to tell the difference between ejaculation and urination. Therefore, quite often girls, when stimulating the G-spot and approaching them to orgasm, it seems that they begin to want to go to the toilet.
Fear of writing
Usually women who have never experienced a G-spot orgasm and have never ejaculated at the same time begin to experience fear of such an orgasm. This is due to the fact that during the approach of this wave, the girl experiences sensations as if she is losing control of her body and is now describing herself. Of course, what kind of girl would like to describe herself to a guy. It is this fear that often prevents you from relaxing and allowing this wave of orgasm to cover you. Treat this fear and anxiety with understanding, hug and caress her, let her feel that you are there and take care of her and that everything is good, that she can relax and allow ejaculation to occur and that you want her juices to come out.
This is not urine
Despite the fact that urination and female ejaculation are similar processes, nevertheless, they are not at all the same. Some men don’t know anything about female ejaculation at all, so they think their woman is peeing when in reality she’s just ejaculating. Medicine has already determined that the moisture that is released during ejaculation is not urine.
The onset of orgasm and ejaculation
A woman’s vagina may contract so much that it may even push your fingers out of it.And the point is not at all that the girl does not want them to be there, it is just that she actually loses control over herself and her body. Be sure to keep your fingers in her and continue to stimulate her G-spot as before. Ejaculating orgasm can come at any time. When this happens, you will feel or see a powerful jet of liquid bursting out a few centimeters, tens of centimeters, or even to the very feet, splashing you and her thighs. And this will continue as long as you continue to stimulate her G-spot.This can happen quickly in a few seconds, or it can take longer in waves. Do not forget to caress, hug and kiss your loved one, expressing your delight and pleasure with your body language and sounds. Tell her how you like it, how good you are with her, how she turns you on, etc. I think you will not have any problems to come up with something of your own.
What to do during a girl’s orgasm?
A girl’s reaction during orgasm and ejaculation can be completely unpredictable: she can tremble, scream loudly or hug and hug you with unprecedented force.One way or another, continue to caress her as hard, say that she is yours, that she is so hot, that you love her so much, etc. Even a simple “Yes” can show her how much you are enjoying what is happening. Affectionate and diminutive references to her such as “Kitten”, “Zaenka” or “Sun” also mean a lot.
How much can a girl ejaculate?
This is a very individual matter. But many women, like one of my friends, simply run out of fluid, although at the same time some of my other women could have up to 11 ejaculations and it seemed that they could ejaculate indefinitely.Most likely, the body’s water balance plays a role here, which in the process of ejaculation and the release of a large amount of lubricant and fluid is depleted. Therefore, if you want the girl to experience multiple ejaculations, have some juice or water on hand so that the girl can drink and replenish the fluid reserves in her body during lovemaking.
Only now you can and should enter it as a member!
Excellent! You aroused enough and brought the girl to orgasm, and maybe more than once.She is already all overflowing with love juices and is looking forward to the continuation of events, and you want to give it to her with even greater impatience!)) Moreover, so far you have been satisfied exclusively with her orgasms. But now the time has come when you can and should take care of your orgasm, especially since the girl herself wants to give it to you.
It is so great from the beginning to strongly excite the girl, and then enter her with your dick and rise together to the top of sensual pleasures.Another plus of all this technique is that you don’t need to be super hardy or have a big dick in order to really please a girl. You just need to thoroughly arouse her before entering, or it is better to bring her to orgasm at least once with your fingers and tongue. Then when you enter it, you will already have great pleasure in equal measure.
In order to stimulate and excite the girl for many orgasms and ejaculations, you can periodically switch from using the penis to fingers and vice versa.Such transitions are very teasing and arousing the girl. They may even seem very attractive to you.
Imagine a penis and a G-spot during sex
During intercourse, imagine how your penis rests against her G-spot or rubs against her. Imagine and replay it in your head. Stimulate at different angles with different strength and intensity movements.
Simultaneous orgasm and ejaculation
The peak of sex is orgasm.And how exciting and wonderful when it comes at the same time for you and her. By the way, this is much easier than it might seem at first glance, and a thousand times easier than achieving the same orgasm during normal sex without prior stimulation. Ejaculation of a man on the cervix inevitably leads to the girl’s orgasm, and together they simultaneously experience it. And vice versa – orgasm and ejaculation of a girl around a man’s penis leads to ejaculation of a man and brings him to orgasm. It may work out right away, or it may take several times to get used to each other and master the technique.But one way or another, it will be a powerful experience and a great pleasure. Almost any couple can take advantage of these tips for their sex life and use this knowledge during lovemaking. In the future, you can experience a simultaneous orgasm whenever you want.
You reached orgasm yourself, brought the girl to orgasm, but this does not mean that everything is over. Further caresses after this are very important for me personally, and even more so for the girl.It’s so nice to lie next to your beloved and feel her warmth, which just gently envelops you from all sides, to be inside her when our juices are mixed. I have no doubt that you experienced something similar while making love with your beloved, but using the knowledge presented in this article, you can enjoy this aftertaste for much longer and the power of sensations from it will be much larger and brighter.
All girls are able to experience orgasm and ejaculation
Every girl has a G-spot and everything you need to get orgasm and ejaculation.To prove this scientifically, you need to experiment with at least 1000 women. I’m not an amazing lover to do this, but I can say that in 95% of cases, all women are able to reach orgasm and ejaculate with some stimulation.
Common causes of inability to experience orgasm
Unfortunately, quite often, due to some psychological reasons (blocks), girls are deprived of this opportunity. This can be influenced by a number of factors, including:
- Childhood and upbringing of a girl – family and relationships in the family in which she grew up greatly affect her ability to enjoy sex with a man.In particular, the relationship with the father strongly influences the model of relationships and behavior with her future men.
- First sexual experience – very often, due to an unsuccessful first sexual experience, a girl is closed and with it her opportunity to experience orgasms is closed.
- Unsuccessful love is also one of the common reasons due to which a girl later experiences difficulties in achieving orgasms.
- Woman’s mission – historically it so happened that for many centuries a woman served a man to meet his needs and procreate.The man rarely thought about the pleasure of the woman. And in this regard, the woman ceased to know how to experience orgasm and ejaculation and there is no man who could teach her this.
These reasons can be different, but in most cases they can be solved with the help of a sexologist and his psychotherapy.
Girls should use their full sexual potential, and men should do their best to help. This is what this article is all about. I want to help men unleash this potential in their beloved girls, so that together they can experience vivid orgasms and live a full sex life, enjoying each other.
Statistics of satisfied women in the world
“How to bring a girl to orgasm?” – this question is often asked by young and sexually inexperienced young men. And for many more mature men, this question often seems banal and even ridiculous, since from the height of their rich (as they think) sexual experience they think that they are real males and are able to satisfy any girl. But let’s turn to statistics and see how things really are with female orgasm in the world and in our country.American researchers who conducted surveys in various countries collected the following data:
The following are the countries and the percentage of women who have no orgasm problems and are quite satisfied with sex:
Mexico ……………………………… 51%
South Africa …………………………………… .48%
Italy ………………………………… … 48%
Russia ………………………………… .37%
Japan ………………………………… .11%
China ……………………… …………….eight%
And what do we see? At best, 50% of women and girls are satisfied, that is, they get orgasms during sex.And in Russia, in general, only 1/3 of the girls. Dear men, maybe you shouldn’t be so self-confident? Of course there are men who know a lot about love affairs, but as we see from statistics, there are not many of them. Why is that? In fact, there are many reasons, but one of the most important is the elementary illiteracy of men in relation to female sexuality. The fact is that many men and young teens get information from porn films that disfigure the idea of how you really need to satisfy a girl or woman in bed.
So you have learned all the essentials and now you know how to bring a girl to a G-spot orgasm and, in general, how to satisfy a girl. And I sincerely hope that all of the above tips will help you and your loved one get the utmost pleasure.
Foreplay Technique – Sex Box
If you know how to bring a girl to orgasm, she will agree to everything for you. After all, most men in bed are selfish. The main thing is to do everything quickly and finish yourself.And women are more complicated. They are aroused more slowly, and orgasm is not always obtained.
Therefore, a man who has mastered the mastery of orgasm will be perceived as a SUPER lover!
Nobody ever forgets such a man.
So, the scenario of how to bring a girl to orgasm.
Remember the first and most important rule. To reach orgasm – a girl must be horny! The prelude cannot be less than 30 minutes long!
At this time we do not climb into panties, we do not enter a member.
We strictly follow the instructions when mastering this process. After understanding the essence and receiving feedback from the girl, it will be possible to proceed to fantasy actions.
Technique step by step
- The girl must be cleaned. And you too. So kissing her during foreplay is pleasant, and the girl does not have a complex, which may somehow not smell right from her. This is the only way she can completely relax.
- Start with erotic conversations.Don’t kiss or touch her. You can bend straight to your ear, breathe in hot breath. Slowly and for a long time tell what exactly you are going to do. Whisper to her that she will have an orgasm and she will be very pleased.
- Do not touch, do not hug or kiss, loosen her arms. Don’t let her kiss you – just talk. This unusual action will increase the girl’s arousal.
- Next, start kissing the ear and neck. DO NOT RUSH! Suck your earlobe lightly, bite, sometimes hard, then suck again. You will quickly find the place on the lobe where it is most enjoyable.
- Then again whisper in your ear with hot breath, then move on to your lips, caress your neck, ears, lips again with your hands.
- You see her arousal – start sucking and biting her neck lightly – find the most sensitive spot.
- Don’t forget to whisper and caress with the tip of your tongue.
- Sometimes a girl has a very sensitive area down the back of her head. The more it gets hot, the more intensely suck and nibble.
- Then press with your chest while pressing her breasts. By this time she should be aroused, her nipples will become very sensitive.
- You can press your erect member against her – this will also increase her arousal. Just do not try to stick it on her quickly – let her feel how you want her, but you are not going to inject anything anywhere.
- She will start to cuddle harder – move your hands to the chest and buttocks.
- Chest with fingers, counterclockwise. Don’t grab it with your whole palm.
- You start from the edges of the chest with your fingers and, making a semicircle, move on to the nipples – you stroke the nipple with your fingertips, then, as it were, you pass the nipples inside the spread fingers, and grab the nipples in motion.
- At the same time, continue kissing your ears, neck and whispering words. Or just breathe hot breath into the neck and ear.
- Hy and the penis itself, snuggle, as it is excited stronger and stronger, you can imitate the movement, as in the act.
- Then you can grasp the chest with your whole hand and caress it harder. Up to full squeezing. At this stage, you can fiddle with the nipples and squeeze them hard with your fingers. Many girls will experience tremendous pleasure.
- Next, move on to kissing the chest.Lick the nipple from bottom to top, then in a circle. When his arousal intensifies, take the nipple in your mouth, suck and nibble on it, sometimes you can do it hard enough to make her cry out in slight pain, and immediately start sucking and kissing lightly again.
- Smooth the second breast with your hand to the beat. Do not stay in one place for a long time – change the place of kisses.
- Go down – to the stomach and inner thighs. The technique is the same – kiss lightly – suck – bite.
- Hands smooth the buttocks or chest.
- If you do this for a long time, pay attention to her condition, do not let her be active and lead all the action behind her – the girl should reach an extreme degree of excitement. You will understand this by breathing and by the release of a large amount of lubricant. It should be leaking heavily by this time.
- Only then do you move on to the labia. First, touch lightly and again go to the thighs, abdomen, chest, then smooth the outer labia with a full palm, do not push or penetrate inside.Do it also intermittently and slowly, even if the girl gives you a meeting or asks to take her.
- After some time it was the turn of the clitoris. With the base of your palm you stroke the clitoris, with your fingers you penetrate inside, stroking it around the circle, then again deeper, again with your finger at the entrance, around the circle, fingers up on the clitoris, stroked both down and deeply inside, again around the circle … actions she can already finish.
These are the principles of foreplay:
– take your time
– gradually increase the pressure
– return to different places many times
DO NOT stop.Don’t invent anything. Just keep the pace.
When it becomes obvious that the movements of your fingers, tongue or penis have finally resonated with her – CONTINUE them without changing the pace.
Having established a constant working regime between her legs, pay attention to other areas of her body.
Kiss, bite, stroke, scratch.
A woman can lose her temper at any moment, even when she feels the ending is approaching. Therefore, additional actions are absolutely necessary)
PS .The girl herself knows how to bring herself to orgasm. Buy her a vibrator and ask her to masturbate and cum in front of you, or on a webcam. Then you will also get an extraordinary sexual sensation.
Try to masturbate together in front of the mirror, always until orgasm.
Another foreplay technique is joint masturbation. It greatly increases arousal and helps the girl to experience an incredible orgasm.
Secrets of foreplay from sex guru Alex May
If she has an orgasm with you – you can get from her and anal sex, and blowjob with the ability to cum in your mouth, and any other sexual experiments.
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How to bring a girl to orgasm? (9 photos) – FotoJoin
A contented girl is always gentle, obedient, in love and cooks deliciously. But for this you need to bring the girl to a real orgasm, and not force her to imitate pleasure in sex. How to bring a girl to orgasm and be the perfect lover?
“In an ideal relationship, pure love and dirty sex are complementary, not mutually exclusive.Brianna Reed
Any man can bring a girl home, but far from all to orgasm. According to studies, about 45% of women are unhappy with their intimate life. They often have to fake an orgasm or indulge in self-satisfaction even though they have a boyfriend or husband. This can push the girl into quarrels, cheating, or separation. Do you need it?
Pay attention to the girl after great sex and high-quality orgasm? She becomes gentle, smiling, kind, cheerful, soft and happy.She breathes femininity and love for you.
If your girlfriend constantly endures brains, and you have conflicts and difficulties, then maybe it’s bad sex? A dissatisfied girl is like an aggressive fury who takes revenge on a man for his selfishness and lack of zeal in sex. The girl will shake the nerves of the man until he understands what the matter is.
Girls are too shy to talk about their desire to have sex. Sometimes they themselves do not realize the reasons for their inappropriate behavior.The upbringing of a girl and male selfishness do not allow them to get 100% pleasure from sex. As a result, relationships get worse and worse.
Sex is the foundation of any relationship and is no less important than love and likeness of characters. But if the intimate foundation is bursting at the seams, then nothing good will end. How to satisfy a girl and bring her to ecstasy in bed?
How can you bring a girl to orgasm?
There are many myths about sex that prevent couples from establishing an intimate life.Myths are very tenacious in the brains of people who learned sex from romantic films or adult films.
Sex like in a movie. Sex myths say that everything should be like in a love movie. We watch romantic films, where stereotyped declarations of love, clothes swiftly flying to the floor and quick in front of intimacy. In adult films, girls are immediately ready for sex, incredible somersaults, uncomfortable positions and rough sex. But in real life, sex looks very different. Movie sex does not lead to pleasure, but to chagrin and imitation of orgasm by women.
Haste in sex. Many men want to quickly bring a girl to orgasm. But this is the main mistake in sex. In most cases, it will not work to bring a woman to pleasure quickly. If you want to do something well, then you need to make an effort, not quickly or somehow. In sex, freebies will not work. You do not want to shift your “work” to other people who will do better?
Penis size, friction and orgasm. Men focus on penis size and friction speed in sex.The stronger, faster and deeper you planted, the better? Not. For women, it is important to stimulate and caress the clitoris, where there are many nerve endings. Only 10% of women reach orgasm with one vaginal act. About 45% of women need intercourse along with clitoral stimulation. 30% of girls reach orgasm during clit play. The main erogenous zone of a girl is her clitoris.
Simultaneous orgasm. Another cinematic myth is the simultaneous orgasm. In reality, it happens quite rarely.First one comes to the finish line, and then the second. Usually men try to satisfy the girl first, and then finish themselves. But you can do it in any order. The main thing is not to leave one of you dissatisfied. A split orgasm helps you focus on the pleasure of one of you, making sex an unforgettable experience.
How to bring a girl to orgasm
“The female orgasm is completely different. It is multi-layered, it is brewing somewhere in the head, there are some layers, a bunch of everything should converge there.The female orgasm is like psychedelic music. Only the author understands what is going on there. ” Stas Starovoitov
Everyone considers themselves the kings of sex, but many are just amateurs in bed. Why lie to yourself? How to become a more experienced lover and a better male?
1. How to start sex with a girl who is not yet warmed up?
What is the most important thing in sex? This is the mood, enthusiasm and sexual tension between a man and a woman. Sex always starts in the head and ends in the interweaving of hot bodies.
It is advisable to give the girl the opportunity to prepare in advance for sex and get into the appropriate mood. Help the girl to relax, get off the hassle, have fun, relax and recover. A playful feminine mood will help increase the chances of good sex.
Compliment the girl, admire her appearance, flirt and flirt. Give the girl the opportunity to feel wanted, loved, hot and sexy. Speak beautiful words, whisper in your ear, take care and touch.
Create an appropriate setting. Women love to have sex when the atmosphere is right. Romance, music, privacy, soulful conversations, candles, wine and an erotic setting. All this evokes sexual images in the girl’s brain. She gets goose bumps and is all in anticipation of intimacy.
A man should take a shower, smell delicious and look beautiful. The romantic setting and erotic tension will do the trick. After all these preparations, the girl will be more inclined towards intimacy and the desire to be naughty.She may herself attack you, losing control of her sexual desire.
2. How to caress and engage in foreplay before sex?
Male erection comes quickly, but girls need time. Women don’t get wet right away, as shown in adult movies. They need time to develop enough lubrication and to become more aroused. Do you want to bring the girl to orgasm? Start with long lasting quality foreplay. How to arouse a girl and do foreplay?
Turn on the music, dim the lights and make a romantic stop
Kiss each other gently and then more aggressively or using your tongue
Cover exposed parts of the body with kisses: face, neck, shoulders and arms
Say compliments, words of love and dirty tricks
Hug, paw, touch and caress a girl through clothes
Bare the girl little by little by stretching the buttons, pulling up clothes and kissing naked parts of the body
Take off your clothes yourself or let a girl undress you
Leave the girl underwear and start caressing her seductive body
Smooth, kiss, caress and influence her body in other ways
Use your hands, lips, and even teeth to play love
Take off your bra and caress the girl’s breasts: smooth, kiss, gently squeeze and press
Play with the girl’s nipples, pull, suck, lightly bite and pinch
Do not concentrate only on one part of the body, but act in different erogenous points
Pull the panties off the girl, caress the thighs, touch near the genitals and tease the girl
Proceed to stimulate the clitoris and insert a dick into a girl who is already exhausted from desire
The time of foreplay, before fondling the clitoris and the introduction of the penis, should be at least 15-20 minutes.This will help the girl to get turned on and horny.
3. How to have sex and give a girl an orgasm?
There are several ways to bring a girl to pleasure. It is better to first help the girl “see the stars”, and then the man to get his pleasure. Sex positions can be any, but most often women reach orgasm in the missionary position.
In the sandwich position, it is recommended to use the coital alignment technique. In this position, women reach orgasm in most cases.The man enters the girl and rises a little higher without removing the penis. Now the pubis of a woman and a man will rub when moving. The man presses and rubs the girl’s clitoris with his pubic bone, and the girl moves towards. This method has a positive effect on clitoral fondling and pleasure.
In the pose of a rider or doggy-style, a man can fondle a girl’s clitoris with his hand. First, caress, rub and press gently. Later, you can increase the stimulation if your partner reacts with inspiration to your actions.
In sex, it is important to observe the reaction and behavior of the girl. If you do everything right, then the girlfriend will moan and wriggle more. It means that you are on the right path and you should not change your previously chosen strategy. Just keep doing what you do.
What to do if during sex your penis is bad or falls? They agreed on fatigue and give the girl pleasure in another way. Give the girl cunnilingus or satisfy her with your hands. Fingers can bring a girl to orgasm even faster than a penis.Stimulate her clit and caress. Use your drool as a lubricant. The girl will be in seventh heaven from orgasm and happiness.
A man should not be silent during sex. You can moan, growl, say compliments or vulgarity. Many girls like to hear dirty words that turn them on even more. Here’s a list of dirty words you can use during sex. This will help satisfy the chick and give her an unforgettable pleasure.
Bad girl, dirty slut, lustful bitch
Appetizing ass, juicy tits, beautiful milkings, seductive melons
Pussy, peach, pubis, hole, bush
I will fry, rip off, plant, whip or take away
Spread your legs, suck, lick, open your mouth
4.How to improve your sex life?
“Everything you do in bed is beautiful and absolutely correct. If only they both like it. If there is this harmony, then you and only you are right, and all those who condemn you are perverts. ” Sigmund Freud
Do you want to bring the girl to orgasm every time? To do this, you should forget about the monotony, boredom, predictability, laziness, stereotypes and prejudices. Show imagination and inspiration in sex. When a man really wants to, it really excites girls.This will allow you not to get bored in bed and keep your relationship in good shape.
Have sex in different positions, learn the Kamasutra and try new tricks
Role-play, intrigue and play within sex
Buy various sex toys and be sure to use them in bed
Please yourself with beautiful erotic lingerie and provocative from the sex shop
Try aphrodisiacs and vitamins to improve sex life
Watch films for adults, spy on interesting ideas, try and do in parallel with them
Use accessories, pillows and other things for sex
Stock up on lubricants, lubricant gels and condoms
Take an interest in educational programs about sex.
Try in different parts of the apartment, retire to unusual places, have sex in the car
Share your sex fantasies, vulgar dreams and vicious dreams
Talk about sex, share secrets and be open about having fun with sex
5.What to do after sex?
“The whole world is concentrated in a second of orgasm.” Henry Miller
For full satisfaction you need to behave correctly after sex. Having delivered a girl an orgasm, you do not need to immediately run away on business or fall asleep, which is what many men sin. Even if sex was good, such behavior can neutralize all male achievements in bed. You will be considered a selfish and weak lover.
Many women want to prolong the closeness and feeling of intimate tenderness.Take a shower together and wash each other. Hug, chat and share secrets. Show care and tenderness for the girl, being with her. Attention and affection will help you leave a great impression of your previous sex. Sex, in the eyes of a woman, will become even better and more wonderful.
How to bring a girl to orgasm with every sex? Follow the advice in the article, show enthusiasm and imagination. A high-quality intimate life will have a good effect on relationships and make you happy.Pure love and dirty sex complement each other. All sex, orgasms and love!
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