How To Make Sex Better For Her: 8 Tips To Pleasure A Woman

1.

Take your time

To make sex better for women, create an environment where she knows she has time to focus and relax. Remove all distractions and responsibilities, including work, children, TV, and any daily errands. Check in advance to see how you can support her to make sure these things are done so she can focus for an hour or two (or a whole weekend) just on herself.

By supporting her in knowing she has time to just switch off, you are holding space for her to begin enjoying sex. Being rushed, distracted, or disturbed can be off-putting for her and make it harder for her to feel good in better. Having all these bases covered shows her you’re sensitive to her and helps you create space she can retreat deeply into.

2.

Pay attention to her needs

Sure, orgasms feel good. But some women can be left feeling “meh” after an orgasm if she feels expected to perform immediately thereafter for you. For some women, orgasm alone is empty when there’s no deeper connection or intention embedded within it.

Instead, try touching her whole body with long, firm strokes to get her blood moving. A stiff and non-responsive lover is hard to get any kind of ignition happening with. By using long, firm strokes over her whole body and inviting her to breathe and relax, you are letting her know she has all the time in the world to enjoy your offerings.

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3.

Map her body

Explore different erogenous zones on her body including, neck, shoulders, scalp, ears, belly, inner thighs, inner arms, back, buttocks, and feet. Try experimenting with speed or pressure. Light feathery touch can feel nice sometimes but annoying at others. Invite her feedback to help navigate her body. Then follow her cues.

RELATED: Cervical Orgasms: How They Work & How To Have One

4.

Allow her to indicate when she is ready to receive

Always keep communication in mind when it comes to intimacy—but especially for genital touch. Start slowly, then build up. Use a quality vaginal lubricant, as dry fingers on genitals don’t feel great. (Yes, most vagina owners need lube! This is not an indication of how turned on she is or how good a partner you are—it’s just how vaginas work.) Ask her how she likes to be touched, or even ask her to show you.

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5.

Focus on the clitoris

Keep your focus on the vulva (inner and outer lips) and the clitoris—not the vagina (aka inside). If you are both interested in helping her orgasm, focus on stimulating her clitoris. Most women require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, and most women cannot orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. (Here’s our full guide on how to make a woman have an orgasm, plus what you need to know about the science of orgasms. )

6.

Use toys

First, encourage her to relax: This can help her surrender into an orgasmic experience. Using a powerful external vibrator on her clitoris can help this process. Bringing toys into your lovemaking creates opportunity for her to really open up sexually while taking pressure off you to be the sole provider—especially if she likes extended play. Some women can indulge in an hour or more of play before even thinking about orgasm, and extending the pleasure can be greater than any orgasm at all.

RELATED: 9 Best Sex Toys For Women: Full Guide For 2023

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7.

Explore tantric sex

Tantric sex is all about slow, sensual lovemaking that emphasizes creating a deep, intimate connection between lovers. Many women enjoy this slower, more holistic approach. Here’s our full guide to tantric sex if you’re interested, plus how to give a tantric yoni massage (aka a high-sensation vulva massage). Even if tantra isn’t your thing, prioritize creating an emotional connection during sex.

8.

Invite her to participate in the process

Ask questions and encourage her to express herself, her needs, and her sexual desires. Sometimes it’s just the right combination of time, relaxation, and technique that will provide the ultimate recipe for deep, succulent surrender and satisfaction.

RELATED: What Is Edging? The Science, Benefits & 10 Ways To Do It

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28 Tips for Positions, Orgasms, and Toys

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Sure, exercise is a great way to relieve stress and improve your sleep. But so is enjoying a little one-on-one time with you and your body.

Masturbation is a safe and natural way to:

• feel good
• discover what gets you hot
• release built-up sexual tension

In fact, solo play has infinite health benefits and absolutely no downsides — plus it’s fun!

Keep reading to learn more about:

• masturbating with a vagina
• how you can get started
• what you can do to really turn up the heat

Here’s a list of the most common types of masturbation and how they typically feel. Remember though: This will vary from person to person.

Orgasm type	Type of masturbation
clitoral	Most people use their fingers to play with their clitoris, but vibrators and other toys can also bring pleasure during solo play. When you orgasm, you’ll feel a tingly sensation along your skin and in your brain.
vaginal	You can use your fingers or a sex toy to penetrate your vagina during solo play. You’ll feel the “Big O” deeper in your body, and your vaginal walls will throb.
anal	You can use your fingers or a sex toy for anal play (although a toy is better for deeper penetration). Right before you orgasm, you may feel an intense need to pee — only the contractions are around your anal sphincter.
combo	This one is all about personal preference. You can use both hands to play with your vagina and your clitoris or a combo of a sex toy and fingers. When you stimulate your clitoris and vagina — especially the G-spot — at the same time, you’ll feel an explosive orgasm that may leave you convulsing or even lead to ejaculation.
erogenous zones	You can rub, pinch, pull, squeeze, or tug your nipples, inner thighs, ears, neck, and other parts of your body during solo play. These areas, known as erogenous zones, can cause pleasurable sensations throughout your body when played with.

Masturbation doesn’t have to lead to orgasm. But if you’re in the mood and want that endorphin rush, there are a few things you can do to help your body achieve the Big O:

• Set the mood: The setting can sometimes make a big difference in whether or not you’ll have a good solo session. Think about turning down the lights, lighting some candles, and listening to relaxing music to get the mood going.
• Add some lube: When you’re aroused, your body self-lubricates, making masturbation a much smoother and pleasurable experience. But sometimes, that may not be enough (or it may not happen at all!). So keep a tube of lube on hand to increase your pleasure. Shop for lube now.
• Let your mind wander: It may go without saying, but you can turn yourself on by simply thinking about that hottie you met last week. Let your mind fantasize about people or situations that send tingles down your spine.
• Take your time: You don’t have to rush masturbation. Play around with techniques and take your time to enjoy all of the sensations you’re feeling throughout your body.
• Explore erogenous zones: Playing with your erogenous zones — think your nipples, ears, or thighs — can shoot sparks of pleasure throughout your body.
• Give your usual sex toys a break: Vibrators and dildos are loads of fun, but they’re not the only sex toys in town. Some people, for example, like to stimulate themselves by using a showerhead on their clitoris or rubbing their vulva against a pillow.
• Consider erotica or pornography: It’s fun to let your mind wander, but you don’t always have to use your imagination. If you want to turn up the heat, read a dirty book or watch a sexy video.

The visible part of the clitoris is a pearl-sized organ, often covered by a hood, that’s found at the top of your vulva where the two inner lips meet.

The glans of the clitoris is about the size of a pearl/pea, but the structure itself is much more complex and extensive.

Your clitoris is packed with thousands of nerve endings, making it the most sensitive part of your genitals. That’s why most people with a vagina experience orgasm by stimulating their clitoris.

Clitoral orgasm

• Massage the fleshy area on the top of your pubic bone, then run your fingers along the outer and inner lips of your vulva.
• Start rubbing or stroking your clitoris through the hood. You can also form a “V” with your pointer and middle fingers and slide them up and down the sides of the clitoral shaft. Find a rhythm that makes you feel good.
• Move your fingers faster and harder once your clitoris becomes wet or after you’ve applied lube. Intensify the feeling by applying heavy pressure until you orgasm.
• Using a vibrator is a great way to stimulate your clitoris without having to overwork your fingers. Just run your sex toy up and down the area until you get off.

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Despite common myths, most people with a vagina have a hard time climaxing with vaginal stimulation. That doesn’t mean it can’t be fun, though!

Penetrating your vagina with your fingers or a sex toy can bring you immense pleasure, even if you don’t orgasm.

But if you want to see stars, experiment with stimulating your G-spot — a pleasure point on your vaginal wall — with consistent, heavy pressure (doing so may also lead to ejaculation!).

Vaginal orgasm

• First massage your vaginal opening, then slowly insert your fingers (or sex toy) into your vagina. Make sure your vagina is wet or that you’ve applied enough lube to avoid friction.
• Start to move your fingers or toy in a circular, in-and-out, stroking, or combination of motions. It’s best to use a “come hither” motion to stimulate your G-spot.
• Increase the speed and pressure as the good vibrations begin to build. You may feel an explosive orgasm, but don’t worry if you don’t. Not everyone can get off with vaginal penetration.

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Who says anal orgasms are only for people with penises? You can still get off through anal play by indirectly stimulating the G-spot through the wall shared between the rectum and vagina.

But remember: You must, must, must use lube, as your anus doesn’t self-lubricate naturally.

Anal orgasm

• Start massaging the outside and inside of your anal opening, then slowly and gently insert your finger or sex toy into your anus.
• Switch between a circular and in-and-out motion as you penetrate your anus. Go faster as the pleasure begins to build until you’re ready to finish.
• Experiment with toys! Vibrators, plugs, anal beads, and massagers can intensify your orgasm tenfold. Find anal sex toys here.

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Many people report earth-shattering orgasms when stimulating the vagina and clitoris at the same time.

Combo solo play intensifies feelings of pleasure by stimulating all the sensitive parts of your genitals. Touch and rub your erogenous zones while you’re at it for a steamy, full-body experience.

Combo orgasm

• You can use both hands or a combo of fingers and sex toys for clitoral and vaginal stimulation during a solo session.
• Go wild! Use parallel or opposite rhythms when playing with your clitoris and vagina at the same time. Consider switching up speeds between the two (think fast fingers, slow penetration).
• It’s all about experimentation! When stimulating your erogenous zones, play around with various touches (think rubbing, tugging, or pinching) and sex toys (think feathers or finger vibrators) to know what makes you feel good.

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Masturbation doesn’t have to be boring! You can use different positions to kick your solo session up a notch on the pleasure scale.

Here are just a few to try out:

For clitoral, try lying on your back

Sure, lying on your back may seem old-fashioned, but when it comes to stimulating your clitoris, no position is better.

While on your back, with a pillow propped under your head, spread your legs and bend them at the knees. Start to rub your clitoris. You can go slow or fast, hard or soft — whatever feels good to you.

For vaginal, try squatting

If you’re looking for an explosive orgasm, the squatting position is the one to try. Squatting makes it easier for you to locate your G-spot, which is about 2 to 3 inches inside your vaginal canal.

Crouch down with your heels close to or touching the back of your thighs. Then, start to slide your fingers or toy into your vagina, moving deeper as you go.

Mix it up with a range of motions, from stroking and circular, to in and out.

For anal, try face-down doggy style

When it comes to anal play, face-down doggy style opens you up for so much pleasure.

The position gives you the room you need to insert your fingers or a toy in your behind with one hand while rubbing yourself with the other.

Get on all fours, then put your face down on your bed or floor so your backside is higher in the air.

Wrap one arm around your back to reach your anus while placing your other arm underneath your body, so you can touch your clitoris.

For the combo and erogenous zones, try the pretend lover

Think of the pretend lover as the cowgirl for one.

Put your favorite dildo or vibrator on your bed and lower yourself down until you find a sensation you like — either penetration, clitoral, or both.

You may need to use your hands to steady your toy. Ride your toy as fast or as slow as you want. At the same time, rub your clitoris or play with your nipples at the end of this solo session.

Want to go wild? Try the reflection

The reflection is a great way to discover your body and what turns you on.

Sit in front of a full-length mirror with a big tube of lube. Pour the lube all over your body — your breasts, belly, inner thighs, and vulva — and start sliding your hands over these erogenous zones.

Pinch, squeeze, pull, tug, rub — do whatever feels good and pay attention to what gets you hot and bothered.

A sexy solo session doesn’t have to exclude foreplay. Instead of jumping right into touching yourself, why not set off slowly and get your other senses tingling?

If you’re into the written word

Not only are erotic stories entertaining to read, but they also let you discover your sensual and sexual side.

Kinky literature encourages you to fantasize and discover sexual pleasures in a safe, fun way. Check out Literotica.com to get started with some femme-friendly stories.

If you’re more visual

It should be no surprise that some people love watching porn — and why shouldn’t they?

Watching porn can:

• increase your libido
• relieve stress
• allow you to explore your sexual kinks safely

If you prefer to listen

Listening to sexy sounds can be just as — if not more — arousing as reading erotica or watching porn. Audio lets your imagination run wild as you lose yourself in the details of the story.

Check out Audiobooks.com for a treasure trove of steamy audiobooks.

Masturbation is a fun, sexy, and safe way to explore your desires and learn what turns you on.

Plus, there are so many health benefits to self-pleasure (Reduced stress! Better sleep! Sexual release!) that there’s no reason not to sneak in some pleasure every day.

If you’re new to solo play, that’s OK, too. There’s no right or wrong way to masturbate, so take the time to discover your body.

Bottom line: Do whatever makes you feel good — and enjoy every minute!

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How to bring a woman to orgasm?

18+

The female orgasm is hard to find, almost impossible to hold and very easy to scare off. But only if you are still young and inexperienced. We tell you why your partner may not have an orgasm and how to please a woman in bed.

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You’ve probably guessed something like this before. Now learn about the common stumbling blocks in this intimate affair.

Contents of the article

Starting too hard

As paradoxical as it may sound, the fact is that the sharper and more aggressive the start, the longer – other things being equal – you will get to its final (if at all). Prelude is the head of everything.

“It may seem that she will come faster this way, but, alas, no,” says family psychologist and sex coach Celeste Hirschman. “In other words, she should be aroused before you put your hand in her panties, not after.”

Correct: Before you go into a hot spot, make sure it’s really hot! And even in this case – do not start a crazy rodeo from the first minute. The proverb “appetite comes with eating” is not what you need to focus on in this case.

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Foreplay is very important for a girl, because she needs to tune in to a romantic mood in advance, put all worries out of her head and listen to her body. Help her with this: give her a relaxing bath or give her a sensual massage, lie in bed with her, let her sip a glass of red wine and distract her urgent department in every possible way. This is how it will be better!

Hurry her

“Women usually take longer to reach orgasm. The classic female fear is to prolong sex too much, so much so that the man loses all interest in what is happening, ”explains Hirschman. No matter how well-intentioned you are when asking this question, for her it is an unequivocal call to hurry up and, as a result, stress. You can be sure that this will not hasten the approach of orgasm.

Right: “Instead of asking stupid questions, listen to her body’s natural cues—rapid breathing, muscle contractions, moans—and you’ll figure it out for yourself,” recommends Kait Sackel, author of This Is Your Brain on Sex.

Too loud moans, which resemble sounds from a torture chamber, will indicate that the girl decided to play along with you and (perhaps once again) began to imitate an orgasm. Meanwhile, a real female orgasm is nothing like what you see in vintage Italian porn movies.

When she relaxes and begins to listen to her own feelings, becomes silent and starts to do well for herself, then you can help her reach the peak of concentration. As a rule, your own satisfaction will be already far behind, and here you just have to not save and continue to be there.

According to statistics, more than 80% of women experience orgasm only from clitoral stimulation. Moreover, many ladies who have already experienced the joy of motherhood cease, for one reason or another, to experience pleasant sensations from the penetration of the penis into the vagina. So if you help her focus on her clitoris, you’re running almost no risk.

Change rhythm

Don’t slow down! “When a woman is close to orgasm, she needs steady pressure and rhythmic movements,” argues Daniel Harel, sex coach and family psychologist in San Francisco. Any intention to slow down or speed up can violate her body’s expectations and delay orgasm.

Correct: “If you hear something like ‘like this, don’t stop,’ seriously, don’t stop and don’t change the pace, no matter how much you want to,” Harel instructs. Moreover, do not change the position and angle of penetration – this is not the moment when you should be creative.

Not for nothing that many women have a secret fetish in the form of a sex machine. It is the measured and mechanical movement that a soulless electric motor can provide that can help a woman reach the peak of pleasure. So take an example from the sex machine and turn into a kind of orgy machine, try to provide it with uniform forward movements, no matter how dull they may seem to you.

Turn sex into a show

“Don’t blindly believe in porn,” smiles Sakel. – Otherwise, you will have a set of stereotypes: how long should sexual intercourse last (minimum!), how many orgasms a woman should get, and how many positions need to be changed first.

There is nothing wrong with porn – but movies do not always meet the real expectations of the partner. Trick them and her orgasm will vanish into thin air – despite all the super-effective techniques, tricks and tricks gleaned from the Internet.

Right: don’t put on an erotic show named after yourself. “A sense of closeness, intimacy for a woman is usually much more important than technical skills – although they should not be forgotten,” advises Hirschman.

Many inexperienced lovers concentrate on the external side of the process, and meanwhile, women tend to enjoy not the visuals, but sounds, relationships, tactility and other unspectacular, from the point of view of a man, things.

So try to adjust your behavior in the course of intimate relationships as you see what kind of response emotions your specific actions cause. Some women like hardcore BDSM sex, while others are crazy about hugs and whispers in your ear. You need to understand what exactly your woman needs most at this crucial moment.

Puzzle her

“The concept of simultaneous mutual gratification doesn’t always work, even for established couples,” warns Hirschman. “In order to achieve an orgasm, she must focus on her own pleasure and probably forget about yours for a while – this is normal.”

Do it right: make sure that she is not distracted by anything, whether it be the TV on, extraneous thoughts or your own orgasm (yes-yes). Show her that her satisfaction is as important to you as your own. If you finish with a margin, let her know that the next round is all about her.

As a rule, a man needs less time and stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. No wonder there are jokes about short sex performed by men. Women, on the other hand, need a little more time to tune in and come to the point of no return, after which there will be a great orgasm. Usually she needs from 20 to 30 minutes, so you need to stay with her all this time in the same mood with which you started this joint act. Perhaps during this time, after ejaculation, you yourself will have time to restore strength and reconnect to the process to help her reach orgasm as soon as possible. Here, as they say, everything is in your hands.

Compliments

Yes, that sounds weird. But a fact!

“Most women perceive sex differently than men – they think much more about the aesthetic component, about how their body currently looks, etc.,” Sakel shares his observation. “You could even say that we women are obsessed with this, and even the most innocent compliment can simply distract her from what is happening.”

In other words: when she hears a compliment, she will at least think about it, and at the most she will also feel shy!

Right: sex is not about talking (interjections and passionate swearing don’t count). On the contrary: it is probably the best way to convey your emotions non-verbally.

Since you are doing this very thing together, do not switch to talking and praising her beauty. A woman during sex wants to feel like a violin in the hands of a skilled musician (and she doesn’t care how many violins our maestro managed to hold in his hands), who will selflessly play a beautiful melody. At this moment, you should not pretend to be an orator and talkative. Just do it!

And there is one more rule that every man should follow: don’t start something you can’t finish. With regard to sex, this is 100% true. Since you both started, then both of you should finish this love act, having received satisfaction.

What a woman wants in bed: advice for men

18+

For some reason, it used to be that sex brings pleasure only to men, while women quietly fulfill their marital duty and do not want anything. However, modern reality has long since put an end to this misconception: today men must take into account what a woman wants in bed and try to satisfy her.

Tags:

Sex

Orgasm

Relationships in a couple

Prelude

cunnilingus

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Good lovers are not born, they are made. To understand what a woman wants or what men want from a woman in bed, partners need to talk and discuss each other’s expectations. We have collected 10 examples of how to please a woman in sex.

Cunnilingus

Some men dream that a woman will be full of enthusiasm during a blowjob. A woman in bed wants the same dedication from her partner.

Women’s Erogenous Zones

Lovers who care for their other half are constantly looking for ways to add variety and pleasure in bed. Therefore, a man needs to love oral sex in order to give unforgettable moments to his beloved during sex.

Embrace

Sometimes you really want to hug your partner and other times lie on the opposite side of the bed. These preferences change depending on the situation, but being active is always welcome. Hugs are a simple zest that a woman is waiting for in bed. It is important that a man understands when to hug his beloved, and when to leave alone and let him enjoy loneliness.

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Compliments

To please a woman in bed, it is enough to choose the right words. Girls are pleased to hear how they turn on a man. And men, in turn, are pleased to think that this woman wants to drag them into bed, and not vice versa.

Orgasm

Any woman in bed wants her partner to think not only about herself, but also about her. Sex should not end only with a man’s orgasm. A loving guy first of all gives pleasure to his soul mate, and already enjoys this process.

Protection

The first thing a real man should think about is safety. Even if the woman herself gives the man signs that she wants to drag him into bed. Especially if the partners have recently been together, or there are at least some doubts (or simply do not want an unplanned pregnancy), it is better for a man to use a condom.

Talk

The easiest and most common way for a man to find out what a woman wants in bed is to ask directly. Not all women like to talk about intimate matters, here you should be more careful and not insist if a woman is not used to such frank conversations. But in any case, it would be good for partners to know what both of them like and dislike.

Clean bed

One of the most important things a woman wants during sex is a clean bed. Especially if she is visiting her beloved. Before arranging a romantic date, a man should make sure that there is a set of clean bedding in the closet. No one likes to lie in the middle of crumbs and stains.

Foreplay

Foreplay is the highlight a woman wants in bed. Kissing, stroking, pleasantly exciting whispering and biting on the earlobe. A man needs to master these simple and pleasant techniques for a woman. Sex is not a race to the finish line. A little patience and affection – and everything will become much better.

For him to take off his socks

It is even strange that one has to write about this, but not all men understand that taking off their socks in bed is a necessity and what a woman expects and wants from him. This is the norm for most people who have sex.