How does loneliness affect mental health. What are the causes of loneliness. How can one cope with feelings of isolation. What support is available for those struggling with loneliness. How does substance use relate to feelings of loneliness.

The Impact of Loneliness on Mental Health

Loneliness is a complex emotional state that can have profound effects on an individual’s mental health. While it’s normal to feel lonely at times, persistent feelings of isolation can contribute to the development or exacerbation of mental health issues.

Is there a connection between loneliness and depression? Research suggests that prolonged loneliness can indeed increase the risk of developing depressive symptoms. Feelings of isolation can lead to negative thought patterns, low self-esteem, and a sense of disconnection from others, all of which are hallmarks of depression.

Can loneliness affect anxiety levels? Absolutely. The stress of feeling isolated can trigger or worsen anxiety disorders. Social anxiety, in particular, may be intensified by loneliness, creating a vicious cycle where the fear of social interactions further reinforces feelings of isolation.

Recognizing the Signs of Loneliness-Induced Mental Health Issues

Identifying the symptoms of mental health problems stemming from loneliness is crucial for early intervention and support. Some common signs include:

• Persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
• Changes in sleep patterns or appetite
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Increased irritability or mood swings
• Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches

How can one differentiate between temporary loneliness and a more serious mental health concern? The duration and intensity of symptoms are key factors. If feelings of loneliness persist for more than two weeks and significantly impact daily functioning, it may be time to seek professional help.

The Link Between Substance Use and Loneliness

Substance use disorders often have a complex relationship with loneliness and mental health issues. Many individuals turn to drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism for feelings of isolation, creating a dangerous cycle of addiction and further social withdrawal.

Do substance use disorders exacerbate loneliness? In many cases, yes. While substances may provide temporary relief from emotional pain, they often lead to increased isolation as relationships suffer and social connections are strained. Additionally, the stigma associated with addiction can further contribute to feelings of loneliness and shame.

How does loneliness contribute to substance abuse? Loneliness can be a significant risk factor for developing substance use disorders. Individuals may use drugs or alcohol to:

1. Numb emotional pain
2. Boost confidence in social situations
3. Fill perceived emptiness in their lives
4. Cope with underlying mental health issues

Strategies for Coping with Loneliness and Protecting Mental Health

While loneliness can be challenging, there are numerous strategies individuals can employ to combat feelings of isolation and maintain good mental health:

1. Cultivate Meaningful Connections

Building and nurturing relationships is crucial for combating loneliness. This can involve:

• Reaching out to friends and family regularly
• Joining clubs or groups based on shared interests
• Volunteering in the community
• Attending social events or gatherings

2. Practice Self-Care

Taking care of one’s physical and emotional well-being can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. This includes:

• Maintaining a healthy diet and exercise routine
• Getting adequate sleep
• Engaging in relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga
• Pursuing hobbies and interests

3. Seek Professional Support

If loneliness is significantly impacting mental health, seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial. Therapists can provide tools and strategies for coping with loneliness and addressing any underlying mental health concerns.

The Role of Technology in Addressing Loneliness

In today’s digital age, technology plays a significant role in how we connect with others and can be both a help and a hindrance when it comes to loneliness.

Can social media help combat loneliness? While social media platforms can provide opportunities for connection, their impact on loneliness is complex. On one hand, they can facilitate communication and help maintain relationships over long distances. On the other hand, excessive use of social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy and increased isolation.

Are there specific technologies designed to address loneliness? Yes, several innovative solutions have emerged to help combat loneliness, particularly among older adults:

• Virtual reality experiences that simulate social interactions
• AI companions designed to provide conversation and emotional support
• Video calling platforms that make it easier to connect with loved ones
• Online communities centered around shared interests or experiences

The Importance of Community Support in Addressing Loneliness

Community-based interventions can play a crucial role in combating loneliness and promoting mental health. These may include:

• Community centers offering social activities and support groups
• Intergenerational programs that connect older adults with younger individuals
• Neighborhood initiatives that encourage social interaction and mutual support
• Faith-based organizations providing community and spiritual connection

How effective are community interventions in reducing loneliness? Research suggests that community-based programs can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness and improve overall well-being, particularly when they focus on building meaningful relationships and fostering a sense of belonging.

The Role of Health Care Providers in Addressing Loneliness

Healthcare professionals play a vital role in identifying and addressing loneliness-related mental health issues. This includes:

• Screening for loneliness during routine check-ups
• Providing education about the health risks associated with chronic loneliness
• Offering referrals to mental health professionals or support groups
• Prescribing appropriate treatments for related mental health conditions

Should loneliness be considered a public health issue? Many experts argue that loneliness should indeed be treated as a public health concern due to its widespread prevalence and significant impact on both mental and physical health. This perspective encourages a more comprehensive approach to addressing loneliness at societal and policy levels.

Overcoming Stigma: Normalizing Conversations About Loneliness

One of the challenges in addressing loneliness is the stigma often associated with admitting to feeling isolated or disconnected. Overcoming this stigma is crucial for encouraging individuals to seek help and support.

How can we normalize conversations about loneliness? Some strategies include:

• Public awareness campaigns highlighting the prevalence of loneliness
• Encouraging open discussions about mental health in schools and workplaces
• Sharing personal stories of overcoming loneliness
• Promoting the idea that seeking help for loneliness is a sign of strength, not weakness

By fostering a more open and accepting environment for discussing loneliness, we can help ensure that those struggling with isolation feel more comfortable reaching out for support.

In conclusion, loneliness and its impact on mental health and substance use disorders is a complex issue that requires a multifaceted approach. By understanding the causes and consequences of loneliness, implementing effective coping strategies, and fostering supportive communities, we can work towards reducing the prevalence of loneliness-related mental health issues and improving overall well-being for individuals across all age groups.

Get help with loneliness – NHS

Most people feel lonely sometimes, for many different reasons. If loneliness is affecting your life, there are things you can try that may help.

Support is also available if you’re finding it hard to cope with stress, anxiety or depression.

If you’re not sure how you feel, try our mood self-assessment.

Information:

Coronavirus advice

Get advice about coronavirus and looking after your mental wellbeing:

Things you can try to help with loneliness

Do

• try talking about your feelings to a friend, family member, health professional or counsellor. You could also contact Samaritans, call: 116 123 or email: [email protected] if you need someone to talk to

• consider joining a group or class that focuses on something you enjoy; you could ask to go along and just watch first if you’re feeling nervous

• consider visiting places where you can just be around other people – for example, a park, the cinema or a cafe

• consider peer support, where people use their experiences to help each other. Find out more about peer support on the Mind website

• try the 6 ways to feel happier, which are simple lifestyle changes to help you feel more in control and able to cope

• find out how to raise your self-esteem

• listen to free mental wellbeing audio guides

Don’t

• do not try to do everything at once; set small targets that you can easily achieve

• do not focus on the things you cannot change – focus your time and energy into helping yourself feel better

• try not to compare yourself to others. On social media you usually only see things people want to share

• try not to tell yourself that you’re alone – many people feel lonely at some point in their life and support is available

• try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve loneliness; these can all contribute to poor mental health

Information:

Further information and support

The mental health charity Mind offers more information on:

Where to get NHS help for stress, anxiety or depression

Referring yourself for therapy

If you need more support, you can get free psychological therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) on the NHS.

You can refer yourself directly to a psychological therapies service without a referral from a GP.

Non-urgent advice: See a GP if:

• you’re struggling to cope with stress, anxiety or a low mood
• you’ve had a low mood for more than 2 weeks
• things you’re trying yourself are not helping
• you would prefer to get a referral from a GP

Information:

Coronavirus (COVID-19) update: how to contact a GP

It’s still important to get help from a GP if you need it. To contact your GP surgery:

• visit their website
• use the NHS App
• call them

Find out about using the NHS during COVID-19

Urgent advice: Call 111 or ask for an urgent GP appointment if:

• you need help urgently, but it’s not an emergency

111 can tell you the right place to get help if you need to see someone. Go to 111.nhs.uk or call: 111

Causes of loneliness

Loneliness has many different causes and it can affect people of all ages.

It’s often linked with things that could prevent you spending time with other people, such as:

However, you do not have to be on your own all the time to feel lonely. Many people feel lonely in a relationship or while spending time with friends or family.

Other significant life events such as buying a house, having a baby or planning a wedding could also lead to feelings of loneliness.

You might find it hard to explain to people why you feel this way, but talking to someone could help you find a solution.

Find out more about the 5 steps to mental wellbeing.

Information:

Loneliness can affect people at any age, but older people are especially vulnerable to social isolation.

Find out more about:

Page last reviewed: 15 October 2019

Next review due: 15 October 2022

9 Secret Signs of Loneliness

Ever wonder to yourself why you feel alone even in a crowded room? Even in the midst of family and friends, all of us can feel alone and lonely. After all, from Elvis to Cher to Akon, musicians have been crooning about loneliness for years.

Do you know the definition of loneliness? According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, loneliness means being without company; cut off from others; sad from being alone.

That’s because the emotions that get set off when you’re feeling alone can be quite powerful — they can trigger dejection and depression, and in extreme cases, loneliness can lead to earlier death, says John Cacioppo, PhD, a psychologist from the University of Chicago in Illinois.

According to the Mayo Clinic, having a strong social support network is essential during tough times, whether from job stress or a year filled with loss or illness. A social support network is comprised of family, friends, and peers. Having intimate relationships with others helps you feel cared for and maintain optimism, and aids in stress management. All of these emotional benefits lead to stronger immunity to help you fight disease and stress.

Alternatively, according to Dean Ornish, MD, in his book Love and Survival: The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy, among heart patients, depression is as good a predictor of imminent death as smoking, obesity, or a previous heart attack.

“Study after study shows that people who are lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to die prematurely than people who feel connection in their life,” says Dr. Ornish.

RELATED: Black Mental Health: Fighting Stigma and Building Trust

In a Duke University Medical Center study of 1,400 men and women with at least one severely blocked artery, the unmarried patients without close friends were three times more likely than the others to die over the next five years.  Similar findings came in a Canadian study of 224 women with breast cancer. Seven years after diagnosis, 72 percent of the women with at least one intimate relationship survived; only 56 percent of those who did not have a confidant survived. The kind of intimacy necessary appears to be an emotional connection to someone, not necessarily a sexual relationship.

Another supporting study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association revealed that people with more diverse social networks (less social isolation) have a greater resistance to upper respiratory infections.

But how do you resolve loneliness? Everyone feels a little lonely now and again, and experts say that this forlornness can actually be a good thing, as long as you do something about it. “Loneliness is actually an evolutionary adaptation that should spur us to get back to socializing, a state in which we are happier and safer,” says Dr. Cacioppo.

Could you be lonely without even realizing it? These signs point to “yes. “

Dealing With Depression and Loneliness – Depression Center

Everyone feels lonely from time to time, but for some, loneliness comes far too often. Feeling lonely can plague many people — including the elderly, people who are isolated, and those with depression — with symptoms such as sadness, isolation, and withdrawal. Loneliness can strike a person who lives alone or someone who lives in a house filled with people. “Loneliness is subjective,” says Louise Hawkley, PhD, a research associate in the psychology department at the University of Chicago. “You can’t argue with someone who says they’re lonely.”

Although depression doesn’t always lead to loneliness, feeling lonely is often a predictor of depression one year or even two years later, and it certainly leads to sadness, Dr. Hawkley says. Freeing yourself of feelings like being isolated by depression is part of the healing process.

How to Fight Depression and Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness don’t have to be constant to call for action, but you will need to give yourself a push to get back into the thick of life and re-engage with others to start feeling better. These strategies for fighting depression and loneliness can help:

• Make a plan. There are two basic types of loneliness. Acute loneliness results from losing a loved one or moving to a new place, for example. In these situations, chances are you know at some level that you’ll have to go through a period of adjustment to get through this feeling of loneliness. The other type of loneliness is the chronic subjective type, which strikes despite your existing relationships. Both require a plan of action. One strategy is making a point to meet people who have similar interests, Hawkley says. Volunteering and exploring a hobby are both great ways to meet kindred spirits.
• Do something — anything. In depression treatment there’s a theory called behavioral activation, which is a clinical way of saying, “Just do it.” If you’re feeling lonely and want to change it, any small step you take — even striking up a casual, friendly conversation with the barista at your corner café — is a good move.
• Explore your faith. There are only a few strategies that are proven to successfully protect against loneliness, and this is one of them. “People who have a personal relationship with their God or a higher power tend to do well,” Hawkley notes. There are a lot of factors at work here, one of them being that faith communities provide many opportunities for positive social encounters. You don’t have to have a close friend in the community to get the benefit, Hawkley says — just feeling that you belong in the group is enough. In addition, faith can help you accept the things in life you can’t control.
• Bond with a dog. “Pets, especially dogs, are protective against loneliness,” Hawkley says. There are many reasons why this strategy works: Dogs get you out and about, they’re naturally social creatures, and you’ll have a living being to care about. If you’re not in a position to own a dog, find ways to help care for other people’s dogs or volunteer to help dogs at a shelter that need loving attention. Other pets, such as cats and fish, can also help ease loneliness.
• Have realistic standards. “Loneliness is a mismatch between your ideal and what you actually have,” Hawkley says. Part of the solution may be to accept that you can have fun and light conversation with a variety of people, and that it’s okay if they don’t become lifelong confidantes. Also, reflect on whether you have any unrealistic standards that are making it hard to connect with others and stop feeling lonely, such as expecting too much from a new friendship too quickly or relying on another person too much.
• Think beyond yourself. Depression can make you feel very self-focused, meaning that everything is all about you. But remind yourself that if you ask a co-worker to join you for lunch and the person can’t make it, you shouldn’t automatically assume that he or she has rejected you. The person might have a previous lunch date or too much work to leave his or her desk.
• Reach out to a lonely person. Whether you’re feeling lonely now or just know how it feels, you may get an emotional boost from befriending someone else who’s lonely. Some people may view loneliness as contagious, and therefore lonely people often become even more isolated. “We believe there is a responsibility in the community to reach out to people who are suffering,” Hawkley says. In doing so, you can help others and yourself, too. Examples include volunteering for an organization that helps elderly people or visiting a neighbor who’s lost a spouse.
• Call, don’t post. Social networks are fun and can provide an essential social outlet for some people, but Hawkley says research suggests that, on average, people do best if more of their relationships happen face-to-face or over the phone. Use a pal’s post as an excuse to call and talk about it instead of posting a comment back.
• Make time for relationships. Everyone is busy, but relationships won’t wait until you’ve finished your PhD, raised your kids, snagged the next big promotion, or moved to your ideal city. Build them now. “No one on their death bed wishes they’d worked a few more hours,” Hawkley says.
• Talk to a trusted friend or relative. Get some feedback and ideas, as well as a sympathetic ear, from a family member or friend with whom you trust your thoughts and feelings. This person could have some ideas about groups you might want to join to meet positive people.
• Meditate. “Mindfulness teaches us that we are more than who we think we are,” says Jeffrey Greeson, PhD, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Duke University Medical Center. Developing a meditation practice can help you identify and release some of the thoughts that could be keeping you feeling lonely and undermining your efforts to meet new people.
• Explore therapy. If you just can’t shake profound feelings of loneliness, isolation, and other symptoms of depression, you might want to talk to a mental health professional as part of your depression treatment. Look for a professional with a cognitive behavioral background, an approach that’s been shown to help with depression and loneliness.

Steps to Take When Feeling Lonely and Depressed

If you’re suffering from loneliness or have had feelings of depression, it’s important to remember that this is something that you can overcome. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled, and there are steps that you can take to get there.

Within this blog, we will outline a few simple strategies to help you to cope with feelings of loneliness and continue to thrive. For those who are really struggling with extreme isolation, loneliness or symptoms of depression, we’ll also talk you through the professional support and treatment that is available if you feel that you need a helping hand.

Are feeling lonely and depressed linked?

Loneliness and mental health are closely linked. When a person is lonely and doesn’t take steps to address it, it can increase the likelihood of them experiencing depression and other mental health problems.

If you’ve been feeling lonely and isolated, know that it is something you can work to minimise. With some of the tips outlined in this piece, you can break the cycle of loneliness and depression and prevent these feelings from worsening overtime.

Why am I feeling lonely and depressed?

People experience loneliness, leading to depression, for a number of different reasons.

When it comes to loneliness, a person will typically feel alone when the relationships in their life lack the intensity, intimacy and authenticity that they need to feel content. This can happen for a number of reasons, including:

• Losing someone close to you
• Getting a divorce or ending a relationship
• Retiring, becoming unemployed or changing jobs
• Entering higher education or changing your school, college or university
• Relocating to an area away from family, friends and colleagues
• Going through seasonal events such as Christmas, birthdays or anniversaries
• Experiencing a traumatic life event, particularly if it remains unaddressed
• Experiencing a mental health condition or addiction, particularly if it remains unaddressed

There are also many reasons as to why people experience depression, many of which overlap with what can cause loneliness. These can include the following:

• Experiencing trauma, especially during childhood
• Going through a distressing life event such as losing your job, getting a divorce or losing someone you love
• Struggling with serious and/or chronic physical health problems
• Having a family history of depression or other mental health problems
• Having previous experiences with mental health problems
• Having certain personality traits such as being very self-critical or having low self-esteem

Self-care tips for dealing with loneliness and depression

As feeling lonely and depressed are often interlinked, addressing one can often help the other. We understand that being proactive and taking on certain tasks can be incredibly challenging, but if you are able to really push yourself, these steps can be helpful.

Keep a thought journal

During the moments when you are feeling lonely or depressed, write down your exact emotions and the reasons behind them. This can help in the following ways:

• It can act as a release. Jotting down your thoughts and feelings can feel as though you are transferring them from your brain onto the piece of paper
• Seeing your thoughts and feeling written down can help everything to seem a little more clear and manageable
• A thought journal can help you to gain clarity as to why you have these strong emotions. You may start to see patterns or common triggers that cause you to feel lonely and depressed

Within your thought journal, also write about when you feel happy and connected. Then, as you become more aware of what causes you to think and behave positively, start doing even more of the activities that make you feel good.

Write a daily gratitude list

When you’re feeling lonely and depressed, you may find that you focus more on the negatives in life, which can leave you feeling even worse. One thing that you can do to change this is to write out a daily gratitude list, where you put down five things that you’re grateful for or happy about each day.

Giving yourself the time to focus on these positives will help you to become more aware of the good things you have and overtime, can help you to pay more attention to these positives as you go about your daily life.

Show yourself compassion

When people feel lonely and depressed, they will typically have low self-esteem too.

If you find that you constantly berate yourself for feeling down, think about what you’d say to a friend going through something like this and what you’d do to help them feel better. Rather than being self-critical, remember that you deserve compassion too, so treat yourself kindly in any moment when you aren’t feeling so good.

Examine and enhance your current relationships

Which people in your life make you feel great? Make regular plans with them and try really hard to maintain these relationships. Even a regular phone or video chat can be a good way to connect.

We understand that being proactive and making plans to see and be around people can be hard when you’re feeling lonely and depressed, but pushing yourself to spend more time with the people who you care about can really help you to feel less alone.

Strengthen your support network

If you feel that you aren’t satisfied with the social interactions in your life, think about what you can do to build more meaningful connections. What activities do you enjoy or is there something new you want to try? Look into joining local groups or clubs to meet like-minded people who you can spend time with.

You may also want to look into getting professional therapeutic support. Many people who feel lonely and depressed find it useful to talk through what they’re experiencing with a therapist or counsellor, who they can then work with to find solutions for a better quality of life going forward.

Accessing professional support for loneliness and depression

If you have found that you continue to feel lonely and depressed regardless of any changes that you make to your lifestyle, you may need a helping hand in order to start feeling better.

You may want to start out by visiting your GP and explaining the thoughts and feelings that you have been experiencing. They can provide you with advice, support and if necessary, access to a service such as Priory Group where you can receive specialist support and treatment.

You can also come directly to Priory Group, where you will be able to sit down with one of our consultant psychiatrists to determine the best form of treatment or therapy for you to undergo at one of our hospitals or wellbeing centres. The mental health support and treatment that we are able to provide includes weekly therapy sessions, day or half-day sessions at one of our day facilities or residential stays, if deemed necessary.

The experience of loneliness among young people with depression: a qualitative meta-synthesis of the literature | BMC Psychiatry

Description of included studies

Our search identified 9188 studies, which was reduced to 6540 after deleting 2648 duplicates (see Fig. 1). Following screening of titles/abstracts we excluded 6351 studies for irrelevance. Following full text review of the remaining 188 studies we excluded 177 based on our exclusion criteria, included eleven studies and added three more based on hand searching the references from the selected studies, identifying 14 eligible studies [24, 41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53], which we included in this meta-synthesis. We achieved 100% agreement on study eligibility between four authors. Characteristics of each study are shown in Table 1, including an assessment of study quality using CASP criteria.

Fig. 1

Flow diagram for included studies

The total number of participants was 388, with sample sizes in each study ranging from 5 to 107. Participants’ ages ranged from 11 to 30 years, and roughly three quarters were female (n = 288). Dates of publication ranged from 2002 to 2019, and studies originated from the United States, United Kingdom, Finland, Belgium, France, Canada, Australia, and Germany. Thirteen studies were published in peer-reviewed journals, while one study was an unpublished PhD dissertation [51]. One study was a meta-synthesis of six qualitative studies [43], which included one identified in our own search [44]. We decided to include this meta-synthesis as a unified whole rather than disaggregating its included studies because a number of those studies were unpublished theses that were unavailable to us.

All studies involved individuals with a history of depression, whilst two studies included participants with depressive episodes in the context of bipolar disorder. In those two studies an unknown proportion had bipolar in one [51], whilst two out of nine participants had bipolar in the other [49]. Most studies (n = 12) collected interview data, while two studies used free text from written self-reports. Included studies used a range of qualitative analytic methods: thematic analysis, interpretative phenomenological analysis, grounded theory, discourse analysis, framework analysis, hermeneutic phenomenology, content analysis, and comparative method analysis.

Thematic synthesis

Our thematic synthesis of 14 eligible studies identified four analytic themes: (1) social withdrawal due to poor mental health, (2) non-disclosure of depression contributing to social distance (with four sub-themes), (3) the desire to connect, and (4) paradoxes of loneliness and depression. Quotes given in italics denote primary data.

Theme 1: social withdrawal due to poor mental health

A key theme we identified related to the debilitating nature of depressive symptoms, which made it very hard for some young people to engage with others. Nearly all studies (n = 13) described the experience of depression as causing those individuals to withdraw from others, relating this to difficulties in being around others due to low motivation and low energy.

“There would be days that I just couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t want to face people. I didn’t want to look at anybody, I just wanted to stay there and I guess just sulk by myself, and I just didn’t have any energy.” (Female in her 10s, USA sample) [43].

Some individuals described feeling better when isolating themselves from peers, because being around others was so emotionally draining. “I come home it’s just kind of like a relief”, explained Lana (teenager, UK sample), who had been bullied at school for reasons unspecified [50]. Some participants avoided others by spending time in their rooms or going for walks alone. One female participant in her teens from the USA explained, “I just kind of wanted to be by myself.” [41]

Participants described having stopped participating in activities they had previously enjoyed or not feeling able to fully engage in such activities. A female in her teens from the USA, who had taken an active role in the performing arts since the age of 2 years, explained.

“I was in show choir and throughout that year I just didn’t really enjoy it. I was fine with standing in the back, which really wasn’t like me. My wanting to be in the back just wasn’t normal.” [41]

Low self-esteem seemed to affect some young people sampled, who felt that their depression had worsened their insecurities, leading them to withdraw socially. The depression had apparently eroded their belief that anyone could find them likeable, resulting in them withdrawing to avoid other people.

“I become even more withdrawn than I normally am, and it’s based on the insecurity, and it came up the unlikeability thing again, that I’m not likable inherently so what’s the use of pretending that I am because eventually they are going to find out.” (Sarah, teenager; Canadian sample) [45].

Participants also spoke of an inability to feel affection from others: “When you’re depressed you feel like you don’t have anybody.” (Tina, teenager, USA sample) [44]. The syndrome of depression set young people apart from their peers and made them feel different. This change was noted by others, even if they did not necessarily recognise it as depression, and this could lead to others’ withdrawal. The sense of rejection was apparent in young people who coped by isolating themselves, thus compounding their sense of differences between them and others.

People just started drifting away, like they were asking, “What’s wrong with you?” I wanted to ask them, “Why don’t you talk to me anymore?” I felt they were saying “You’re different now!” I just began to hide away a lot and I would say, “I just want to be alone”. (female teenager, USA sample) [51].

Theme 2: non-disclosure of depression and social distance

The second theme, emerging from 12 studies, was more explicitly related to feelings of loneliness. As young people dealing with depression were hesitant about disclosing their depressed feelings to people in their social networks, they avoided being open about their true selves. This sense of otherness through concealment enhanced participants’ feelings of loneliness. Some individuals described being very aware of putting up a façade and of making extensive efforts to maintain this front to avoid talking about their mental health issues.

“I would put on a smile for my parents and my siblings. Whenever somebody would leave and I knew I was going to be alone, they would ask me, “Are you going to be alright?” And I would say “Yes, of course,” because I didn’t want them to know what I was dealing with. But, it was a living hell. I put up a really good façade for them, like all cheery and happy, nothing’s wrong. ” (Female in her 20s; USA sample) [41].

A range of reasons were given for the non-disclosure of depressed mood, summarised in the four sub-themes below.

Subtheme 2.1 fear of being judged

Young people in the included studies commonly expressed fear of being judged negatively if they identified themselves as suffering from depression, or of being perceived as unbearable or embarrassing if they vented their feelings. The negative consequences they feared included social exclusion and isolation, as borne out by their experiences:

“I cannot talk about my sadness, in fact, I don’t dare to talk about it, because then you are considered as a weak person. I see that some people feel pity for me, but they don’t talk to me, they prefer to run away because they are afraid and do not know how to react to someone who is sad.” (Female, teenager, Belgian sample) [24].

“If I could talk to them [friends] I would, but I just didn’t feel like I could talk to them. They would keep on going, ‘You’re weird’ or something.” (Sandra, teenager, USA sample) [44].

Subtheme 2.2 preserving friendships

Another reason for not disclosing their depression was that the young people sampled clearly valued their friendships and wanted to preserve existing networks. They feared losing these connections if they shared their feelings of depression. There was also a fear of burdening others, in that by not disclosing their depressive thoughts they hoped to minimise the negative impact of their depression on others. Many adolescents had experienced negative changes or the ending of friendships as a consequence of mental health problems and this reinforced their reluctance to reveal their feelings to friends.

“I’m afraid that friends and significant others can’t see me the same way as before or something might change between us if I told them all my troubles. I don’t want to bother anybody with my worries.” (Unknown gender, 15–17 years old; Finnish sample) [42].

Subtheme 2.3 difficulty explaining oneself

Beyond deliberate efforts to avoid talking about their feelings, young people also found it hard to explain why they felt depressed. Pressure to explain themselves arose from members of their peer group, who struggled to comprehend their experiences, expressing this through intolerance. Their own inability to formulate or articulate an explanation frustrated young people with depression and had the effect of widening the gulf between them and others.

“When you feel bad, you need to have an external explanation for why you have these feelings, because the fact that you feel bad must be caused by something. Participants stated that they often received the question: ‘Why are you feeling so bad?’ Adolescents shared that they cannot give a constructive answer because they do not know why they have these feelings. They could not give explanations because there were no specific causes for them. Due to the inability to provide a real explanation regarding the causes, their feelings and depression are not recognized by others. ” [24]

Subtheme 2.4 perceived futility of explaining oneself

Experiencing depression engendered a realisation of being different from one’s peers. This gave rise to the belief that others would not understand one’s situation and that there was therefore no point in discussing it. Young people with depression indicated that they feared others were likely to trivialise, dismiss or ignore their depressive symptoms. Again, their previous negative experiences of others failing to understand them taught some young people not to disclose their feelings. The lack of any incentive or opportunity to confide and feel understood made young people feel very lonely.

“Having others reach out, however, was not always beneficial. Some participants, especially females, did not feel comfortable opening up to those who reached out to them. These participants did not believe the other person would understand what they were going through, believed their problems were ‘no one else’s business’ or doubted the person’s motives for reaching out. ”

[41]

“Despite the fact that all the individuals in this sample acknowledged social support as an important part of their daily lives, the belief that others cannot understand their experiences often caused individuals to feel alone.” [46]

Theme 3: the desire to connect

Despite young people reporting a tendency to disengage from certain social interactions, they still expressed a desire for connection and a desire to feel ‘normal’.

“At the same time, the adolescents hoped to have more friends and to be included in their peer group. In addition, they wished to have a good time with the friends and to have somebody to talk to about their problems and feelings.” [42]

“Most individuals have a strong need to connect and have positive relationships with others especially middle school students.” [51]

In this sub-theme we identified a conflict with the experiences described in sub-themes 2. 3 and 2.4 above, in that although some individuals expressed a wish to talk about their issues, they also experienced difficulties in doing so. Such barriers included a fear of the consequences, particularly the threat of rejection (and perhaps stigmatisation) from peers. To address this, some preferred to share their problems with people who they knew had faced the same mental health issues in preference to their wider peer group, amongst whom it was not always clear who had experienced depression themselves.

Shadow clearly had the wish to disclose to someone, which he expressed in a wish for some kind of group therapy to meet people where he could actually speak about his problems: “And maybe, that you can talk about it in a group that you can say: “I am [Shadow], I have this and that problem. What do you think, what is your impression, what is your problem?” . .. Because I can’t possibly walk into my classroom and say: “you know what happened to me?” Well, I could, but. ..” (Male, teenager; German sample) [52].

Theme 4: paradoxes of loneliness and depression

This theme described a number of paradoxes or vicious cycles that were apparent in various forms across a number of studies. Whilst some young people talked about a need or a tendency to withdraw socially, this came with an awareness that such avoidance could create or worsen feelings of loneliness.

“During their depressive experiences, participants felt a distinct separateness from others and often chose solitude over being with others even when feeling lonely” [44].

“Being around people was, was always a bad thing for me. I constantly felt the need to be alone. .. and I always felt like interacting with other people was difficult for me. .. Ya, that was confusing because I felt lonely but I didn’t feel like being around anyone at the same time” (Jeff, in his 20s, Canadian sample) [45].

Some young people described their friends showing a form of understanding by not asking too many questions, but then feeling cut off because of an apparent absence of overt concern.

Sometimes when some of my friends are … .. ok with ignoring me, with not asking about it, I feel like kind of I know it’s ridiculous, but unloved. (Female, teenager, UK sample) [50].

Another trap that some young people described was a vicious cycle of loneliness and depression, was the suggestion that the manner in which they processed feelings about loneliness reinforced their depression.

“They were unable to initiate or sustain relationships because of feelings of severe discomfort around people. They described a cycle of feeling lonely, often as a result of their breakups, and then feeling depressed about the loneliness, causing a self-fulfilling prophecy by further alienating and self-isolating themselves from others.” [45]

A fear of stigma was also mentioned as a reason for withdrawing from others, but this came at the price of increasing loneliness. Sometimes a yearning to connect with others coexisted with an inability to be with them. However, where they withdrew from others, young people were prevented from getting support from others, thus increasing their sense of alienation from friends.

“While some disclosed their depression to friends, others withdrew, fearful of the perceived stigma and loss of status from being labelled as having mental illness …. However, retreating from others contributed to their loneliness and isolation.” [48]

The difficult choice that some young people faced, was between withdrawing socially to hide their depression and then feeling excluded, or remaining superficially socially engaged but living behind a façade in not disclosing their depression. In the latter case, the strain of concealing their low mood could create a sense of greater alienation from their peers.

“This process of social isolation was characterized by ambivalent feelings. Participants explained that on the one hand they feel the necessity to share their emotions with others, but on the other hand they felt it was impossible to do this. Consequently, they felt caught up in a vicious circle which made them feel alienated from themselves and from of their social world.” [24].

No suggestions were made by participants as to how to break such vicious cycles, but a note of optimism was sounded in relation to recovery from depression. During an episode of depression young people characteristically described the experience of yearning for a connection with others, feelings of being very different from others, and a perception that their problems were incomprehensible to their peers; all of which meant that when unwell, gaining a sense of connectedness was out of their reach. However, on recovering from an episode of depression, those who reflected back on those unwell periods had better insight into such traps and were able to see how a lifting of their symptoms removed many of the barriers to connecting with others.

The Cycles Of Depression And Loneliness

Depression and loneliness are two words that we all hate to hear. They are words that we can all identify with, and we have all experienced at one time or another in life. “Lonely” is a word most people are familiar with. Although feeling lonely is usually associated with actually being alone, you can be surrounded by people you know and love, and still feel the sting of depression and feeling lonely. Rather than being a measure of physical isolation, it really describes a feeling of being alone. This feeling may crop up because you don’t feel as though the people around you understand you, because you feel that you can never really be yourself, and because you don’t feel that you can find people you want to be around.

But, one thing that many people don’t realize is how connected these two words, loneliness and depression, really are to each other. To understand the ways depression and loneliness relate to and play off each other, let’s first look at the two words separately.

Understanding Loneliness And Depression

Depression And Loneliness Can Be Heavily Intertwined

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One study found that loneliness functions as both a symptom of depression and a predictor of depression, suggesting that addressing loneliness as soon as possible after it has developed could be helpful in mitigating the onset of depressive symptoms. Although loneliness is not a formal psychological diagnosis, many people benefit from therapy to alleviate feelings of depression and loneliness. This can be achieved by learning how to forge stronger connections with others, how to communicate more effectively, and even how to see yourself in a more positive light, as many people find themselves withdrawing from the company of other people in response to a perceived flaw and the onslaught of insecurity when in the cycle of depression and loneliness.

Depression and loneliness are often intertwined. Whether the chicken or the egg came first is not entirely certain, but it might not matter; the presence of one could signal the onset of the other. This is because loneliness can trigger feelings of depression, which can create feelings of isolation and alienation – all feelings that can, in turn, lead to loneliness. As the loneliness and depressive disorder worsens, feelings of loneliness increase. And as loneliness increases, depressive symptoms increase. Although this loop of loneliness can feel impossible to step out of, treating one symptom can actually help the other, and there does not necessarily need to be a more intensive form of treatment to treat both loneliness and feeling depressed.

Feelings of depression and loneliness are often treated as something of a taboo subject, as though people who are lonely are in some way deficient or broken. Despite this perception-and the frequent tendency to apply it primarily to ourselves-everyone has experienced feelings of loneliness at some point or another, and physical beauty, success, and other standard markers of attractiveness are not necessarily indicative of a person’s feelings (or lack) of loneliness.

What Is Depression?

Feeling depressed is usually characterized by feelings of despair, overwhelm, apathy, and (in some cases) sadness, accompanied by changes in weight (loss or gain), disrupted sleep, and increased irritability, anger, and confusion. These symptoms can all come on at once, and may develop separately, leading some people to develop a sense of normalcy after each new symptom has arrived. Over time, the symptoms can reach pitches that make day-to-day functioning almost impossible, resulting in the need for treatment.

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Breaking the Cycle

Depression and loneliness can both be isolating. You might feel embarrassed by feelings of depression and loneliness, and try to hide these traits instead of sharing them freely. Doing so can be more problematic than helpful, and can perpetuate the ongoing cycle of depression and loneliness. The easiest way to break the cycle of depression and loneliness is to catch it before it starts. You can put processes into your daily life that will help you keep from circling through the depression and loneliness cycle again and again. But, even if you find yourself stuck in the middle of it you can still break the cycle of depression and loneliness. Here are some suggestions on how to put a stop to the depression and loneliness cycle in your life.

Make Real Connections And Beat Loneliness

Being “friends” on social media is not the same as having a meaningful friendship with a person. If we are honest, we know that it’s not possible to be close friends with 100 different people. Instead of focusing on growing your social media following work on forming some good connections in “real life.”

When you have real friends, you will have people that you can be authentic with. They will be people that you can reach out to when you are feeling depression and loneliness, and they want to help you make it through your struggles. They will also be the people that will reach out to you when they notice you are withdrawing. These are the types of connections that you must work on the building when you are having good days because they will help you through the bad days.

Healthy Life, Strong Mind

Lifestyle interventions also have a demonstrable history of efficacy in treating people with depression and loneliness, in turn, as improving your diet, creating exercise regimens, and engaging in mindfulness practices can all improve your mental and physical health as a whole, which can positively impact your depressive symptoms. These interventions are not usually severe or dramatic, and can include changes as small as limiting caffeine intake, and exercising 20 minutes per day, 3 days per week.

Depression And Loneliness Can Be Heavily Intertwined

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Get a Pet

Therapy animals are more common now than ever before, and many studies suggest that they are useful in treating the symptoms of anxiety. Having an animal-usually referred to as a Therapy Animal and Emotional Support Animal-to care for, hold onto, and come home to can make the isolation and loneliness that often accompanies these conditions to lessen, and can give you a renewed sense of purpose.

Seek Help

As one of the treatments for depression and loneliness is talk therapy, online therapy services can help treat symptoms of depressive disorders, including loneliness. One provider of online therapy is BetterHelp. Although in-person therapy can be enormously helpful for people with depression and loneliness symptoms, online services provide many of the same benefits, including time to discuss your symptoms, the option to create a treatment plan, and the ability to work one-on-one with your therapy provider. For some, the presence of a therapist and the space provided by a physical office is a no-brainer, while others might enjoy discussing their issues in their own home, and at their own convenience.

Although many insurance providers are hesitant to work with online providers, more and more companies are making the change to offer online therapists as part of their networks. If your insurance does not cover online therapy, this does not have to be a major deterrent; because therapists are not paying for the space to deliver in-person therapy, some may offer their services for lower prices, making online therapy a realistic, affordable option for many people. Below are some reviews of BetterHelp therapists, from people experiencing similar issues of depression and loneliness.

Therapist Reviews

“Patricia is excellent, very knowledgeable, empathetic, and helpful. Her professionalism helped make my journey less lonely, and gave me so much more clarity.”

“Her balance between empathy and perseverance have kept me focused on my goals without burning out. She has stayed with me as I go through life and overcame obstacles. As I maneuver through difficulties, Krista has made the experience a little bit easier, less lonely, and something of a challenge to overcome rather than a reason to be stagnant… Krista really understands my values and aspirations. She encourages me to pursue my passion and chase my dream no matter the many, long-lasting, face-scrunching hiccups along the way.”

Moving Forward

Although depression and loneliness both have the potential to make people feel isolated, nervous, and unsure of their place in the world, both of these issues are treatable, and well over half of the people treated for depressive symptoms report recovery from their symptoms. You, too, can move toward recovery through effective treatment, greater self-love and self-care, and an improved understanding of depression and loneliness and its symptoms. With a qualified, caring healthcare professional by your side, you can take steps toward healing today.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What does loneliness do to a person?

Lonely people have trouble breaking the cycle of isolation. However, it’s essential to take action when you are isolating yourself. Loneliness can impact the mind and the body negatively. It can lead to depression and is even correlated with a higher likelihood of someone having a chronic illness. Loneliness isn’t the same as being alone by choice. It differs from introversion in that when you’re lonely; you’re not enjoying it. You can feel lonely even when you’re around others. For example, if you’re in a new city and maybe are attending a new school, you might be lonely because even though a ton of people are around you, you’re not connecting with people and might feel as though you’re being othered. If left untreated, loneliness can lead to severe mental health issues. That’s why it’s crucial to seek the help of a mental health professional. You can actively try to prevent loneliness from turning to depression by reaching out for support.

Does stress cause loneliness?

Research studies show that those with higher loneliness scores are more likely to be negatively impacted by stress. Lonely people can experience an increase in stress hormones that are linked to depression. When people are stressed, they can socially isolate. If you step back from your support system, whatever the reason, you may feel lonely. Stress can make you feel out of control and deter you from reaching out for help. Remember, it’s okay to reach out to a mental health professional if you need help with feeling lonely.

Can loneliness change your personality?

Loneliness can change a person’s perception of the world. It can make a person feel like there’s little to no hope. Your personality is something that you are born with; external influences can impact your mental health. Loneliness is an outside factor that can severely affect a person’s wellbeing. Though it can’t change you fundamentally, it can make you feel unlike yourself.

Is being alone healthy?

You might wonder – does loneliness lead to poor health? The answer is maybe. Being alone for some periods can refresh you. It’s essential to engage in self-care; however, being alone and social isolation are two different concepts. You can find peaceful moments to care for yourself and balance those with interacting with others, such as friends and loved ones. It is perfectly healthy to spend some time alone. If you’re an introverted person, you need to be by yourself so that you can recharge. However, loneliness differs from being alone by choice. Many of us crave alone time, and we must be able to have that time to ourselves, but having social relationships are equally as important.

What does loneliness do to the brain?

You might now know this, but loneliness can affect your mind. Loneliness can worsen symptoms of depression and make you feel hopeless. The more time you isolate, the worse your depression can become. That’s why it’s essential to push yourself to reach out to people who understand and love you. It’s not always easy, but once you take the first step and call a friend, it could result in a decline of symptoms of loneliness. If you are struggling with feeling lonely, a therapist can help. Consider trying online therapy if you are feeling alone. A licensed therapist can support you in your efforts to develop a support system.

What is the main cause of loneliness?

One of the main causes of loneliness may be social isolation. For one reason or another, you may feel isolated, even when you are around people, and that can leave you feeling like you don’t have people in your life you can talk to and spend time with. Another reason that someone may experience loneliness is because they are experiencing a mental illness of some sort, and has substance use disorders.

5 Ways to Keep Loneliness From Turning Into Depression

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Are there times that you feel you don’t deserve it when good things happen to you? Do you look at yourself in the mirror and feel not just disappointed, but actually overwhelmed with self-disgust? Do you look at your clothes and hair and feel convinced that you look horrible, and that everyone else thinks so too? Do you wish you had more people to hang out with, but are afraid that they, too, find you disgusting? These are feelings that everyone has from time to time, but when they become a constant feature of one’s inner life, they can turn out to have severe consequences for your mental health.

According to Sheffield Hallam University’s Antonia Ypsilanti and colleagues (2018), people at high risk of depression have a chronic tendency to feel lonely and isolated. These feelings, in turn, can lead people to regard themselves in a particularly harsh and judgmental way. The British authors reason that when you’re feeling lonely, meaning that you’re not interacting with people to the degree that you would prefer, you start to turn your attention inward, believing that your own flaws are what’s causing you to be ignored by everyone else. This negative self-evaluation, according to Ypsilanti et al., can cause you to feel that you lack worth, and that you are the cause of your own loneliness. Taking a cognitive-behavioral approach to depression, Ypsilanti and her fellow researchers note that your own feelings of loneliness trigger a self-perpetuating cycle in which “self-blame, low self-worth, dysphoria, and lower self-esteem . . . then feed into greater loneliness, social isolation, and mental health problems including depression” (p. 109). In other words, the thoughts that you are unworthy become the breeding ground for the negative thoughts that are at the core of depression.

The concept of self-disgust, the British authors maintain, truly captures that internal sense of low self-worth experienced by lonely people who ultimately become depressed. Ypsilanti et al. define self-disgust as “a negative self-conscious emotion schema that reflects disgust directed toward the self.” Self-disgust can take the form of physical self-disgust, as in “I find myself repulsive,” or disgust toward one’s actions, exemplified by the thought “I often do things I find revolting” (p. 109). Previous researchers, they note, have observed a relationship between self-disgust and social anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, the personality trait of psychoticism, and overall lower feelings of well-being. Compared to shame and guilt, as shown in longitudinal studies, self-disgust plays a more prominent role in the evolution of depressive symptoms. They propose: Could loneliness lead to depression via a pathway involving self-disgust?

There’s another element at work as well, Ypsilanti and her coauthors suggest. It’s one thing to have feelings of self-disgust and quite another to be unable to make those feelings go away. Rumination is known to be a factor in depression, and when you constantly think about how disgusting you are, it’s likely that you’ll become even more depressed. Therefore, the British researchers added emotion regulation to their theoretical model. The two forms of emotion regulation they investigated included suppression and reappraisal. If, instead of thinking about how flawed you are, you either push those thoughts aside (suppression) or reframe them positively (reappraisal), then you’ll be less vulnerable to experiencing the depression that goes along with feelings of self-disgust.

Testing this model on a sample of 317 students ranging in age from 18 to 72 years old (77 percent females), Ypsilanti and her team used questionnaires designed to tap each of the individual components of their model. They used a standard loneliness scale that included self-rated questions, such as “I feel isolated from others,” and “I am unhappy doing so many things alone.” As you can see from these items, loneliness isn’t just a state of being alone, it’s a feeling of being less in touch with people than you’d prefer. The authors measured depression with a standard inventory with items such as “I feel sad,” and “I feel guilty all the time.” An emotion regulation questionnaire asked participants to indicate what they do with their negative feelings, such as “I control my emotions by not expressing them,” and “When I want to feel a positive emotion, I change what I am thinking about.” To assess the main variable of interest, self-disgust, the authors used a previously developed Self-Disgust scale that included items tapping those two components of emotional and behavioral revulsion toward oneself and one’s actions. Unfortunately, as this was a correlational study, it was only statistical modeling that allowed the authors to test the proposed pathway leading from loneliness to self-disgust and depression, with emotion regulation as a potential influence.

In the first test of the proposed links between loneliness, self-disgust, and depression, the authors compared groups that they defined on the basis of high, medium, and low loneliness scores. All three groups differed in the predicted direction, in this analysis, on the two self-disgust scale components. Next, they showed that there were significant correlations between loneliness and depressive symptoms. Furthermore, in this second step, the authors established a relationship between depressive symptoms and the emotion regulation scores. People who engaged in higher degrees of reappraisal (turning negative into positive emotions) also had lower depression scores. Participants with high self-disgust scores, additionally, had higher depression scores, even after taking into account loneliness and emotion regulation scores. The final model, in which self-disgust was tested as a mediator between loneliness and depression, also yielded significant results.

Noting that as a correlational study, the direction of relationships cannot be firmly established, the British authors believe that they were able to demonstrate “that self-disgust may represent an affective mechanism through which loneliness progresses to the development of depressive symptoms” (p. 113). Furthermore, unless individuals who regard themselves and their behaviors with revulsion can reframe or suppress their negative self-evaluations, they will only exacerbate the potential to become depressed.

If you feel that you rate highly on the quality of self-disgust, the Ypsilanti et al. findings provide these five suggestions for feeling better about yourself and improving your feelings of happiness:

1. Work on increasing your social support. Given that this was a one-time, correlational study, it’s not possible to know whether a lack of contact with other people was the cause or the effect of the maladaptive thoughts involving low self-worth and outright revulsion. Finding ways to alleviate loneliness by developing better social skills could help individuals overcome self-disgust.

2. Use mindfulness to reduce the tendency to ruminate over your shortcomings. In mindfulness training, people don’t try to push away their depressive thoughts, but instead learn to accept them for what they are and not fall prey to excessive rumination.

3. Have a little self-compassion. You might not like the way you look, or even feel good about the things you do, but instead of becoming overwhelmed with disgust, recognize that no one is perfect and that you’re allowed to have some flaws.

Loneliness Essential Reads

4. Try self-affirming messages. Along with gaining greater acceptance of yourself and your real or imagined flaws, turn your thoughts toward the features of yourself that you like. Give yourself a mental pat on the back when you find that you’re not becoming overly self-critical and judging yourself with unrealistic standards.

5. Practice emotional suppression and reappraisal. The emotion-focused coping strategies that don’t change the situation, but do change the way you feel about it are ideally suited for learning to manage the feelings you have about the qualities you have that you can’t change. From your body type to the shape of your nose, whether you’re accident-prone or forgetful, you can learn to draw your attention from away from ruminating about these supposed flaws and think about something else. You might even decide that some of your worst “flaws” actually make you quite lovable.

To sum up, becoming happier with your qualities rather than distressed about them can be an important step in conquering both depressive thoughts and the feeling that you’re not interacting with people to the extent that you would prefer. Take it easy on yourself, and your fulfillment will only continue to flourish.

90,000 Statuses about sadness and loneliness – catch phrases

I’m not a whiner. But sometimes the soul becomes so empty that loneliness covers the head and sadness settles in the heart!

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There is no loneliness worse than loneliness in a crowd …

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Loneliness is such a state of mind when there are a lot of people around you, everyone is having fun, talking, laughing and having fun, but you are sad.

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How painful it is to smile through tears! How painful it is to smile through loneliness!

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Loneliness and the feeling that no one needs you is the worst kind of poverty.

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I don’t need to hide my tears from anyone. More precisely, not from anyone.

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Loneliness … This is when you begin to understand that there is not even a guardian angel nearby …

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Loneliness is when there are too many people around, when everyone needs something from you, and nobody needs you.And you don’t need anyone.

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I really want to cry on someone’s shoulder, but there is no such shoulder.

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Wine that you drink alone has almost no taste.

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Lonely girls can be seen immediately. The clothes are fashionable, they themselves are well-groomed, the lips are smiling, and the eyes are sad.

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Truly loneliness comes when you are no longer trying to get rid of it.

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You keep the secrets of other people, listen to the snot of friends, help your loved ones . .. And at that moment when you feel bad yourself – you sit alone, listen to music and don’t even know who to talk to …

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It’s sad when it’s already October, and you still haven’t found a person who will warm you in winter.

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Sadness is when there is time, but there are no friends to drink.

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I am alone. Why do I need someone? I’ll be lonely again. All efforts are fruitless. Thanks to all. Everybody’s Free.

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The feeling that I am standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my voice, but no one hears.

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The law of loneliness: you will be sad alone, sorrow will triple, you will be sad with a friend – sorrow will disappear without a trace.

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They say that it is impossible to feel happiness alone. Well, they are right.

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Loneliness cannot be filled with memories, they only exacerbate it.

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My soul alone dances a sad waltz.

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It is especially dangerous to mix alcohol with loneliness.

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There are times when it is insanely sad and lonely.And it seems that there is someone to call, but you understand that everyone is not up to you.

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My best friend is my pillow, she knows everything.

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Loneliness is not the absence of friends or loved ones, loneliness is when your heart yearns for someone you don’t even know yet …

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Better to be alone than unhappy with someone.

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Proud loneliness is a cheap excuse for uselessness.

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Do not impose on people. It’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t need you.

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The older you become, the better you understand: you don’t have to be all alone to feel lonely.

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Loneliness is freedom that I am not happy about!

Psychotherapist explained how to overcome loneliness – Rossiyskaya Gazeta

Not so long ago, a lecture by the famous Austrian psychotherapist Alfried Langle was held in Moscow.RG publishes an abridged version of it.

The topic of loneliness is a topic that is probably familiar to all of us. Loneliness is the feeling that accompanies us in our development. This is part of the journey to find yourself. And it leads to the fact that we begin to value relationships more.

Loneliness Experience

Loneliness is very painful. This is the kind of feeling that we want to escape from, and we do it by being distracted by something. We are helped by watching TV shows and films, a computer, a mobile phone, travel, alcohol, work. All this helps to get rid of the unpleasant feeling. Because in loneliness we experience the fact that we are again thrown back to ourselves. Alone I am only with myself. I’m thrown. No one is around. I have no relationship, I have no one with whom I could talk. Loneliness is the experience of having no relationship. This feeling can be experienced especially acutely in longing for something. If you love someone, then you yearn for separation from him. I miss a loved one, I feel connected with him, but I cannot see him.My heart is next to him, and without him or without her, my heart is lost to a certain extent.

A similar feeling can be experienced with nostalgia, when we yearn for our native places. I experienced a very strong longing for my native land when, as a child of 11-12 years old, I was in a boarding school. It was warm at home, pleasant, I had a relationship there, there were friends, and I was at a boarding school far from home. I was not at home for a whole month. I felt like I was in a foreign world. The world was cold and I felt lost.All this time I thought what was happening at home, what my relatives were doing: now they got up, now they are having dinner, now the family is gathered at the table. And I was constantly in pain because I was separated from that part of my life where I usually experienced warmth, where I had the feeling that I was part of this world. I felt incredibly lonely.

We can feel lonely at work, if we confront some requirements, if there are some projects that we have not yet grown up to. Where we feel insecure about them, and if no one supports us.Then we feel like loners. If I know that everything depends on me alone, fear may arise that will accompany loneliness. It’s the fear that I’m going to be weak, that I’ll feel guilty about not being able to do it.

It is even worse if bullying occurs at work. Then I will feel that I am at the mercy of this, I am on the edge of society and no longer a part of it.

Loneliness is a very big topic in old age, in old age. And in childhood.Children who are not met, children who are left alone if their parents are busy with something else, may feel helpless in their loneliness. Loneliness traumatizes children, because in loneliness they are not able to develop their self. They stop developing. There is a curvature in the development of a child if he experiences long moments of loneliness. On the other hand, it is not so bad if the child spends a couple of hours alone, because for him it is an impetus for development. Just what reality is.

In old age, loneliness is no longer a traumatic factor and does not hinder development – but it does burden. It can cause depression, paranoid feelings, sleep disturbances, psychosomatic complaints and pseudodementia. It so happens that pseudodementia is a person’s silence from loneliness. He used to have a family, he worked for decades, was among people, and now he sits at home alone. One of my patients, 85 years old, was at home alone. As her doctor, so she wouldn’t be completely lonely, I bought her a canary.She had a living being. This canary helped her live a couple of years longer. She talked to her every day.

For most elderly people, the TV serves as a “comforter”. But TV is only one-way communication. Yet man at least hears human voices. And in any case, he can say something to himself, even if no one will hear. I think this is not at all a bad form of overcoming loneliness, creating a kind of bridge, because it removes the acuteness of loneliness.But, of course, this is an ersatz, a replacement. In old age, loneliness can be very suppressive to a person. Especially if he has lost the ability to see or hear. Can I imagine that I will have to live in this state for a couple of years? When the only thing that will accompany me is back pain or digestive problems. We can imagine how helpless we are in such situations. And here the question of the value of life really arises.

Am I familiar with loneliness? If we ask ourselves: When was the last time I felt lonely? Is loneliness present anyway in my life? Maybe it is hiding behind some kind of efficiency of everyday life? If I’m being honest, I can probably find it.Or I may find that there were times when I was alone. Maybe this feeling has not been familiar to me for a long time? Maybe it’s alien to me? Or the other pole: maybe I really suffer acutely from loneliness? And it suppresses me so much that all the joy in relation to life simply disappeared, that the question arises about the meaning of life.

Loneliness among people

I can feel loneliness not only if I do not have relationships with people. I can feel lonely during a holiday, at a party, even at my own birthday, at school, at work, in the family.Sometimes people are around, but something is missing. There is no meeting, there is not enough intimacy, there is no exchange with another person. We have superficial conversations, and I have a need to talk to a person for real. We’re talking about skiing, about cars, but we’re not talking about me or you.

In many families, we are only talking about some business, who should buy what, who should prepare food, but they are silent about our relationships, about what worries us. Then I feel lonely in the family.

If no one sees me in the family, especially when it comes to a child, then I am alone. Even worse – I am abandoned, because there are people around, but they are not interested in me, do not look into my eyes. They only look at whether I am doing well at school and that I am not doing anything bad. And that’s how I’m raised. I grow up alone.

The same happens in partnerships: we have been together for 20 years, but at the same time we feel lonely. Sexual relationships are functional, but am I in the relationship? Is it for the other it is about me – or only about myself? Or just about meeting some needs? If we don’t take the time to chat with each other, as we did when we were in love, then we become lonely even in good relationships.

In every relationship, there are periods when loneliness is felt, as the relationship develops more in a curve, experiencing ups and downs. We cannot be constantly ready to communicate with another, be constantly open to another person. We are immersed in ourselves, busy with our problems, feelings, and we have no time for another. But it can happen exactly when he needs it most. At this moment I am not for the other, and the other feels lonely, maybe even abandoned in trouble.Such situations occur in any relationship. But this does not harm the relationship if we can then talk about our different states. And then we find each other again. But sometimes these moments remain the wounds that we receive in the course of our lives.

We can experience loneliness not only when we are not in a relationship, but even when we are surrounded by people. And at the same time, we may not feel lonely when no one is around.

To understand loneliness, let’s try to look at a person more deeply.Then we can understand why loneliness manifests itself in such different ways.

Reasons for loneliness

A person is a creature that was, as it were, put into the world. The main idea of ​​existential philosophy is that it is impossible to be human without reference to the world. To be human means fundamentally to be in the world, to be in connection with something or someone else. Without connection with otherness, it is impossible to be human.

Heidegger defined “being here” (existence) in this way.Often Heidegger used the word Dasein instead of Person, to show that I cannot be if I am not connected with You or with That. To be here means to be in the world. In the world of my family, in the world of my city, in the world of my ideas and ideas. That is, being human is a fundamental relationship. If something is not functioning in this relatedness, then we are lacking something and may feel lonely.

But this connection is twofold. Martin Buber spoke about the relationship “I-Thou” and “I-It”: I correlate with another person, the same as me – and this is a personal relationship, or I relate to some thing, with some deed ( for example, “I’m driving a car”).That is, relationships have an outer pole, but they also have an inner pole. I also need to deal with myself, I need not only BE in this world, but I also need to be I. We have an outward correlation and a correlation with ourselves. This thought can help us understand three reasons why loneliness occurs.

First, loneliness is a disorder, a disorder of relationships. In loneliness, we worry that the relationship is either not there, or it is not developing correctly. Relationship with a person means: I am connected with this person by my feelings, I would like to experience the person in my feeling.I would like to be able to feel what drives him and how he feels.

Let’s think about the relationship with your child. I would like to feel how the child experiences and lives his life. I would like to participate in this, I would like to be close to him – because through closeness I have a feeling about my child and his life.

Relationships are more than feelings relatedness. A relationship always has a beginning, but a relationship has no end. Relationships last forever.And it can be assumed that since I always remain connected with the person with whom I have or have had a relationship, so I can never be alone. All the relationships that I had with other people have been preserved in me. If I meet my ex-girlfriend 20 years later on the street, then my heart begins to beat faster – after all, something happened, and it still continues to be in me. Everything that happens in the relationship is preserved. And I can live on this basis. If I experienced something good with a person, then this is a source of happiness in my future life.I can think about my mother, about my father, with whom I had a good relationship, and feel a warm feeling.

However, if the relationship is bad, then I don’t want to remember them, I don’t want to go back to the past. Then I wish it weren’t true. Then I lose contact with it. Relationships are there, but they hurt me – and I turn away. And if I turn away, then the relationship in this moment no longer live. Therefore, it may be that I will feel lonely, although I have or have had a relationship.

There is another reason a relationship can create feelings of loneliness. What we have described so far is the outer pole of the relationship. But there is an inward-directed relationship – a relationship with oneself. If I don’t feel myself, if I don’t have feelings, if they are muted, then I am alone with myself. If I don’t feel my body, my breath, my mood, my well-being, my fatigue, my joy, my pain – if I don’t feel all this, then I am not in a relationship with myself.Then I miss the fundamental, basic part of life.

This can happen if I had an experience that hurt – then I don’t want to turn to myself. If I am offended, disappointed, deceived, if I am ridiculed, then I feel pain if I turn to myself. And this is a natural human reflex – to turn away from what causes pain and suffering. We described this in terms of external relationships, but also in internal relationships, I can move away from myself. And then I no longer feel myself, I am no longer in a relationship with myself.It can take me so far that I can’t feel my body. I will feel my feelings so little that I will develop psychosomatic disorders. They always indicate that you do not feel something very important. This is a signal: you must not continue to live like this, feel what hurts you so that you can process it. So that you can be sad, so that you can forgive – otherwise you will not be free. Migraines, stomach ulcers, asthma and other disorders tell me: don’t go on like this.There is something very important that you must do first.

If I lose my relationship with myself, then I will no longer be able to feel myself. Or even worse – I can’t live a relationship with you either.

I cannot truly relate with another if I am not capable of resonance, if no movement arises in me, because the feelings are too wounded. Or because I never really had them. If my mother never took me in her arms, if my father did not have time for me, if I did not have real friends, then I have a “dull” world of feelings – a world that could not develop.Then my senses are poor, and then I am constantly alone. Because I don’t feel very well (or don’t feel at all). Therefore, in relation to the other person, my feelings are also flat. This is the second level of relationship that leads to loneliness.

But there is also a third level, which is above the level of relationships and which is also causally associated with loneliness. This is the meeting level. This level is connected with the fact that I am I. striving towards meeting we realize that I am I, You are You, but I am not You.The difference that cannot be eliminated. It is eliminated, for example, in a symbiotic relationship, when I myself dissolve in you. But if I am I, then there is a border between us. Then I worry that, in principle, I am only responsible for myself, I am left alone with myself.

There is no second Alfried Langle in this world. Each of us is one and only. What I am is in no way and nowhere is unique. And this is the foundation that can potentially make us lonely in this world.

Healing from loneliness

What can help here? The other person has the same sensations, he feels the same way.If it is You who turns to me, it will help me embrace loneliness. If other people look at me, in my direction, they will thereby make me understand: “I see you. You are here.” And I really am here, and not only with my feelings – I am here as a Person.

If, for example, another person is listening to me, then he is directed at me. It is not only about the fact that there is some movement of feelings, but about the fact that someone is trying to understand me. And he tells me that he understands what he thinks about this.If other people are interested in what I am doing, then I see that I have done this action, and this attracts the attention of the other person. That is, not only I see it, others also see it. And then it takes on the character of reality. If others look at me that way, then they respect boundaries and differences. If I feel seen, it means that I have been treated with respect.

If other people take the next step and take me seriously, leave me my own: “Yes, you baked this cake, not me,” then they are treating me fairly.If they listen to my comments, if they say: “What you said is important. Maybe you can explain it more?”, Then these people treat me fairly. This is an even higher step than just being seen. Being seen means that I have respect for the border, I do not step on you, I do not go around you. The pinnacle of all this is the recognition of my value. If the other says, “I like it”; “I think this is important,” then I get a value judgment from another. And thus my own value takes root.I can get criticism, but it gives me, as a Person, certain contours. If others come to me, tuned in to me – I am not alone.

If all this happens when I am a child, then I can build my I. The development of I is connected with meeting other people. Parents are people who see me, who take me seriously and communicate that they value me. And then the child can begin to do the same with himself.

We need to learn this. We can learn from others, but we cannot develop it in ourselves without You.That is why Martin Buber said that I becomes I next to You. The ego acquires the ability to deal with myself – and then treat others in the same way. The person who survived the meeting develops the abilities through which he can meet others.

We have Person – this is the source. This source of itself begins to speak in us, but for this I must be heard. This I needs You, who will listen to him. By meeting another, I can go to myself. And in doing so, I experience the basic experience of being a Person.I am entrusted to myself, I have an inner life, the Person inside me speaks to my I, and through the I speaks to You and thus expresses itself. If I live out of this coherence, then I am authentic, then I really am I. And then I am no longer alone.

Read the full text on the website thezis.ru

Quotes about loneliness, statuses about loneliness

Every day, communicating with different people, you are surprised that the most worthy of them are alone.

They are distinguished by charisma, good looks, a lively analytical mind, good upbringing and manners, behind which a strong look is always hidden, in which a slight sadness is hardly visible. They are looking for “their” people: for communication, for company and pleasant rest, for love, for relationships and family. They make mistakes more often, suffer more, make contact less often, and experience failures harder. But each time, when they burn to the ground in a relationship, they are reborn from the ashes, becoming even more perfect and stronger.And again, and again, they start all over again. They are alien to the stereotypes of modern society, it is impossible to impose someone else’s opinion on them. Regardless of whether it is a man or a woman, they are looking for such a person, next to whom it will be warm and calm. And this “calm” is not based on the absence of quarrels, adrenaline or extreme edges of emotion. This “calm” means that there is a person nearby who will not betray. A person whom you have infinite faith, trust and in whom you are 100% sure.

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I am drowning alone, and for the first time in my life it seems to me that I cannot swim out.

Mark Levy “Where are you?”

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I wanted to sit alone in a room with the curtains drawn. That’s what I was craving for.

Charles Bukowski

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– Only loneliness protects me.
– No. Friends take care of people.

Sherlock

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Loneliness must be spent alone. No matter how much you love, no matter how you love … It is important to observe the measure.

Elchin Safarli

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Loneliness is indeed a lousy thing for all its enormous benefits.

Arkady and Boris Strugatsky, “Hotel” At the Deceased Mountaineer’s “

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I have always been the best company for myself.

Charles Bukowski.

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single people don’t like to hear about happy couples.
is mean.
is like bringing a box of vodka to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

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Nothing could be more pleasant than living in solitude, enjoying the spectacle of nature and sometimes reading a book.

N.V. Gogol, Dead Souls

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Loneliness only enhances the feeling of being unnecessary.

Ken Kesey

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You must not confuse loneliness and solitude. Loneliness for me is a psychological, spiritual concept, while solitude is a physical one. The first dulls, the second soothes.

Carlos Castaneda

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“You feel good, you are alone,” Hasse told me.Well, indeed, everything is fine – he who is alone will never be abandoned.

Erich Maria Remarque. Three comrades

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An important question that needs to be resolved “in practice”: is it possible to be happy and lonely?

Albert Camus

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I am a person for whom solitude is vital.

Charles Bukowski

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Until there is a place in your life for a person who would be no less important to you than yourself, you will always be alone.

Richard Bach “The Bridge Through Eternity”.

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Loneliness – when there are no those you need nearby.
Lonely – when there are no people around who need you.
One – when no one is around.

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There is nothing better in the world than to love loneliness … If you master the art of loneliness, it makes you strong, free and fearless.

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Elchin Safarli “They promised you to me”.

Loneliness, on the contrary, complicates everything: you dig and dig, and in the end you end up throwing a shovel and lying down in a hole dug with your own hands.

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I am sick of loneliness. Ill is incurable. I easily recognize the same people. We have the same symptoms. They do not know how to be ill for a long time and always know what to do in bad weather.
Matsuo Monroe. “Teach Me To Die”

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People are made sociable by their inability to endure loneliness – that is, themselves.

Arthur Schopenhauer

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The first thing loneliness prompts is to deal with yourself and your past.

August Strindberg “The Lonely”

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Real loneliness is a society of people who do not understand you.

Sharon Stone

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Don’t wait for someone else to take the first step. What can you lose besides your loneliness?

John Kehoe.

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– Neil, you know I love being alone.
– Just like me! Let’s be alone together?

Paranorman, or How to Train Your Zombies

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… wine that you drink alone has almost no taste.

Haruki Murakami

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How pleasant it is to lie motionless on the sofa and know that you are alone in the room! True happiness is impossible without loneliness.

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

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When a person is lonely, he begins to look closely at nature and love it.

Erich Maria Remarque, “All Quiet on the Western Front”

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– One?
– Yes.
– Do you like loneliness?
– I don’t like it. I just try not to make unnecessary acquaintances, so as not to be disappointed in people once again.

Haruki Murakami “Norwegian Forest”

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A lonely desert is everywhere.

Anton Chekhov

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It is better to live alone and not love anyone than to be alone and at the same time love unrequitedly.

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A person following a crowd is usually beyond the crowd and does not advance. And the one who walks alone has a much greater chance of finding himself where the leg of an ordinary person has not yet set foot. Alan Ashley-Pitt

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I am alone, but that does not mean that I am alone.Viktor Tsoi

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You get used to loneliness, but it is enough to break it even for a day, and you will have to get used to it again, from the very beginning. Richard Bach

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If you are lonely, then do not think that you have been forgotten.
You are remembered, at least:
– women deceived by you,
– friends loyal to you,
– relatives forgotten by you,
– bank
– military enlistment office

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You must not confuse loneliness and solitude.Loneliness for me is a psychological, spiritual concept, while solitude is a physical one. The first dulls, the second soothes.

Carlos Castaneda

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Loneliness is the natural refuge of all thoughts: it inspires all poets, it creates artists, it inspires geniuses.

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Each person can be completely himself only while he is alone. / Arthur Schopenhauer

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I am not afraid of loneliness.I’m already in it …

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How good it is to be alone. But how good it is when there is someone to whom you can tell how good it is to be alone. Ernest Hemingway

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To be able to endure and enjoy loneliness is a great gift. Bernard Shaw

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I think it’s better to be lonely,
Than to give the heat of the soul to “someone”
Giving an invaluable gift to just anyone
Having met a loved one, you will not be able to love.
Omar Khayyam

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“Beautiful girls and women are rarely alone, but often they are alone” Henrik Jagodziński

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People who live alone always have something in their souls that they would gladly tell. Anton Chekhov

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– Do you live alone?
– Yes.
– Aren’t you lonely?
– No, I have internet at home.
The Pink Panther

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Self-reliance does not mean loneliness.

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Loneliness is a place where it is good to visit, but not live there.

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People are made sociable by their inability to endure loneliness – that is, themselves. Arthur Schopenhauer

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Nothing could be more pleasant than living in solitude, enjoying the spectacle of nature and sometimes reading a book. Gogol

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There is no loneliness more terrible,
than loneliness in a crowd,
When everyone is laughing madly,
and you want to cry.

Mikhail Lermontov

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The strength of the weak is in the crowd, the weakness of the strong is alone.

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Loneliness is not the absence of friends or loved ones, loneliness is when your heart yearns for someone you don’t even know yet …

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Never be afraid of losing people just because you are afraid to be left alone. You are always alone.

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It is difficult for you to understand yet, but try: loneliness is not always scary.It is much more terrible if you, in order not to spoil your old age, which you have so far away and about which you still do not know anything, now spoil the present with your own hands …

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“One is quieter. I want halva, I want gingerbread. ”
– “Girls”

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When living with people, do not forget what you learned in solitude. And in solitude, ponder what you have learned from communication with people. Leo Tolstoy

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If you are alone, it is not because no one needs you, but because you care about who is next to you.

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– One?
– Yes.
– Do you like loneliness?
– I don’t like it. I just try not to make unnecessary acquaintances, so as not to be disappointed in people once again.

Norwegian forest. Haruki Murakami

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It doesn’t matter who you spend your time with, but it is important who you remember alone …

I don’t have many close friends with whom I could confide. Therefore, loneliness is sometimes also a worthy companion

my heart is chronically cold with loneliness.

I hate being alone, but it loves me.

Every day without you is a damn lonely marathon.

Loneliness is a condition that there is no one to tell about.

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More fear of loneliness, maybe only the fear of spending your whole life with the wrong person.

And nobody waits in the evening, and you can do whatever you want … and what is it called? Freedom or loneliness?

The disadvantage of loneliness is that after a while you start to get a buzz from it.And you just don’t let anyone into your life.

It’s bad to be alone, but being alone around someone is even worse.

I feel like a kitten in the store. Everyone likes me, but nobody needs me!

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There is no person more lonely than the one who survived the beloved. (E. Hemingway)

This is inevitable. I counted on you, on us … But I have to accept, I will always be alone.

One who can be happy alone is a real person.If your happiness depends on others, then you are a slave, you are not free, you are in bondage. (Osho. About woman)

Loneliness is the eternal refrain of life. It is neither worse nor better than many other things. They only talk too much about him. Man is always and never alone (Erich Maria Remarque)

Beautiful women are rarely alone, but often alone.

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I believe that the greatest challenge in a relationship between two people is that each should guard the other’s loneliness.(Rainer Maria Rilke)

Imagine that in a city where more than five million people are constantly moving, you can be lonely, completely …

The most important thing is to accept the most important thing: no matter how lonely you feel, no matter how painful you are – all this can be endured with the help of those around you.

The fallen angel betrayed God, probably because he wanted loneliness, which angels do not know. (A.P. Chekhov)

I am drowning alone, and for the first time in my life it seems to me that I cannot swim out.(Mark Levy, Where Are You?)

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Loneliness is when there are many people and you are sad.

Loneliness is when the door is open in the heart, but inside is empty.

Alone, everyone sees in himself what he really is.

Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house, but no one calls.

You are lonely only when you have time for it.

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Loneliness is when those you love are happy without you.

Loneliness is a great thing, but not when you are alone.

Loneliness is a wonderful thing, but there must be someone nearby to whom you can tell what a wonderful thing loneliness is.

during the day, a great combinator of human feelings, and at night, alone with himself, a deeply lonely and unhappy person.

Loneliness is when you are surrounded by wonderful people who love you and understand, but each of them has someone closer than you.

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Loneliness is when you always know exactly who is in charge of
in the kitchen.

Real loneliness is when you are tempted to answer a spammer’s letter.

When I’m alone, I get cramped!

Loneliness is the lot of the strong. The weak, on the other hand, tend to the crowd.

Loneliness is the eternal refrain of life. It is neither worse nor better than many other things. They just talk too much about him. A person is always and never alone. (Remark)

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Loneliness is when you are surrounded by wonderful people and friends, but each of them has a person closer than you.

Loneliness is the wrong side of freedom.

Loneliness is when those you love are happy without you.

Uniqueness is always hand in hand with loneliness.

No sound louder than the silence of the telephone.

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Random quote Next ”
Wait…
90,000 When sad and lonely. How to deal with sadness and loneliness

I’m lonely … I’m so lonely … Sad, boring, painful… LONELY … I live in a city where hundreds of thousands, millions of people, and at the same time I, as if in a vacuum, I am alone. How is this possible? Why? For what? And the main thing is what to do to get rid of this unpleasant feeling of your own loneliness.

“I am very lonely” – if this thought comes to mind, then something needs to be changed in life. Man is a social being and only in society, among other people, he can be really happy. It does not matter the number of people who will be surrounded – one faithful friend or a hundred acquaintances – the main thing is that there should be communication, contact with the outside world not only at work, but at the behest of the heart and soul.If it is not there, this is unbearable suffering for any mentally normal person.

Is loneliness a disease of the inhabitants of modern cities?

There are many questions about loneliness on the Internet. Along with dating sites, many projects and forums are being created for those who suffer from loneliness. And although people try to meet each other, to support each other, there is still an increase in people who feel their loneliness very, very sharply.

I am a man without friends.I am very lonely. I don’t even have close acquaintances. You have no idea how difficult it is to meet every day alone, to know that no one will call and ask how you are doing. The people I communicate with are work colleagues. How difficult it is to live knowing that no one in the world will support you, will not touch you, and that all I can do is go to the cinema alone, go in a transport alone, go somewhere alone. Boring, sad and lonely. It hurts unbearably. Every day to think that no one needs you, that there is no friend, girlfriend, there is no one for miles around.It hurts, it hurts terribly. It hurts to such an extent that you start communicating and staying with people so far from you that your soul sinks into your heels, and you don’t know how to get out of this pit. Loneliness is pain. The real one that no one feels or sees. Problems at work, in the family – nothing beats this feeling of loneliness. Every day I do not want to fall asleep because tomorrow is the same gray useless day in complete despair and loneliness.

A person who is lonely understands that this is a negative state that brings suffering.Naturally, he wants to get rid of loneliness, like a disease. Recover and be like everyone else, normal people: make friends, communicate, enjoy life and share this joy with others. Here’s just how to do it? All attempts to go outside do not work, the relationship does not stick. You can’t find a loved one, you can’t make friends either. The situation is aggravated with age, the older a person becomes, the more difficult it is for him to find someone: peers of the same age already have their families, their downed companies, into which it is very, very difficult for a new person to fit in.

Not so long ago he writhed with a heart attack, as you know, he survived … then it seemed that the end was probably here (only a completely different word was spinning in my head) … it was not scary and not insulting to die, it was insulting to remember – there is nothing, no funny and joyful moments with someone near, nothing, and there’s no one near because I’m such a lonely or shitty person, but because it so happened in life that all life happens and passes by you …

In the end, loneliness becomes such an unbearable burden that a person sometimes even thinks about suicide.“I’m lonely” is really scary to understand. This burden, like a stone, crushes, suffocates, angers, irritates. In general, it causes the whole range of negative sensations that only a person has.

If you are lonely, the reason always lies in the subconscious. It is very easy to find friends, acquaintances, loved ones. The main thing is to understand yourself and understand what to do with yourself.

Let’s try to understand from the point of view of the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, why some people, unlike others, fall into the trap of loneliness and can even hang there for a long time, literally until the end of their lives.And most importantly, how to get out of this state.

Because absolutely everyone, without exception, can get out of this state.

Want to know more about human psychology? Do you want to finally become a happy person? We invite you to attend trainings on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. The introductory part of the lectures is absolutely free and available to everyone at

Ways to deal with loneliness

Loneliness can be useful for a short period of time, do not feel sorry for yourself, it only aggravates the situation, and try to use it for your own good in order to improve and develop.

Sources:

• What is loneliness
  

There are two types of reasons for loneliness: subjective and objective. Subjective reasons depend on you and lie in the demeanor. Changing a fraction of the settings imposed by fate, you will achieve a lot. Objective reasons are easier to eliminate, because they are easier to see, ascertain, realize, think over.

Instruction

Stop looking for the ideal! Firstly, 100% coincidence of the characters of two people is not a guarantee of the longevity of the marriage.And judging by the latest statements of psychologists, this is not a reason to start a family, because it is more effective to spend a vacation with such a person than to raise children.

Always balance your self-confidence and the turkey’s bombast. Should you look like that big scary bird? In reality, many brave heroes run away from the yard at the sound of her voice. Have you seen this?

Take off the mask of feminism. The opinion of complete emancipation is outdated and refuted.The M flask contains much more testosterone than the Zh flask. This means that at the molecular level you will never become more independent and familiar botanist.

Disconnect the Internet, turn away and leave the apartment. Choose one place from the list and visit it: club, cinema, cafe, exhibition, circus, karaoke, theater, concert or city park. Ideally, invite someone.

When meeting a new acquaintance, be sure to show interest in the young man.Attention! Carefully trace the line where your obsession begins. Between expressing one’s opinion and imposing there is a big one. Learn to recognize it.

When going to crowded places, plan your behavior. If you are afraid to do this in front of a mirror, then you have problems that it is better to correct with a psychologist.

Related videos

Having many friends and relatives, 90,748 people
can still feel loneliness, since loneliness is not a social status, but the attitude of 90,748 people
a.Many people are constantly around each of us, but still sometimes the thought of loneliness arises. 90,748 people are unlikely to be found on earth
, who has never experienced this feeling at least once in his life, which can be safely associated with an iceberg in the ocean.

Related videos

Sources:

• Human loneliness

People asking the question “How not to think about loneliness
? “, As a rule, are weighed down by this feeling.Most people strive to create strong family relationships, and if this process does not work out, you need to understand the reasons.

Instruction

First of all ask yourself the question: what is loneliness for you? There may be several answers. If this state is temporary for you, then in order not to think about it, treat it as an opportunity to take a break and gather strength before new meetings, emotions and relationships. When time without constant relationships and obligations is used as an opportunity to be alone with yourself and, in some way, enjoy your feelings, loneliness ceases to be a burden and begins to bring pleasure.

If you are not one of those people, you have become your constant companion, try to write on paper why you are in such a situation. In most cases, people answer that this is because they are ugly, unsuccessful, uninteresting, unlucky, etc. In fact, all these definitions say one thing: you do not love yourself. Realize this and accept as fact that this is what you have to work on.

When a person does not love himself, he allows others to treat himself in the same way as himself. This simple truth should be the motivation for your changes.Love yourself without criticism. Love your body and your habits, your abilities and deficiencies. Upon closer examination, you will find out that you have many more positive qualities than negative ones.

This state may not come immediately. It may take more than one month for this. Use the technique of affirmation or self-hypnosis. Most importantly, do not stop and wean yourself from self-criticism. If you can’t do it yourself, see a psychologist.

Thoughts of 90,748 loneliness
Replace with voice training about your love for yourself.Saying positive affirmations to yourself dozens of times will build your subconscious self-confidence. When you do, more than 90,748 loneliness will disappear.
. You will definitely meet someone who will be next to you. Do not lose hope and believe in yourself.

It often happens that a person, being among a huge number of people, feels lonely. It seems that there is constant communication, interaction with other people, but my soul is very empty and dreary.

What is loneliness

Loneliness is a state of a person in which he is isolated from others: in the physical real and imaginary mental. In the first case, this is due to some external factors: work in secluded places, forced isolation from society (a dangerous criminal or a mentally unhealthy person). And in the second, it happens in the soul of a person, despite constant contacts with other people, when there is no soul mate close in views and meaning in life.

The most difficult thing is mental loneliness. It can arise for various reasons: parting with a loved one, death of loved ones, moving to another city / country. Sometimes a person is lonely since childhood due to a complex inner world that is not understandable for his environment.

Women more often than men suffer from loneliness due to more highly developed emotionality. But sometimes men also experience this condition very hard.

Ways to deal with loneliness

The main thing in the fight is not to dwell on this feeling.Being with yourself for a short period is very useful, because with constant employment, sometimes there is not enough time to understand yourself, your feelings and sincere desires. But you should not isolate yourself, try to isolate yourself from society for a long time, otherwise it can develop into depression, which is then very difficult to get out of on your own without the help of specialists.

In no case should you eat or drink loneliness, it will not go anywhere, and the consequences can become very serious, and sometimes even intractable (alcoholism).You should not get addicted to different depressants, they will certainly help, but addiction may appear, and the reason will not go away by itself.

If loneliness has arisen due to parting with a loved one, then do not blame yourself and come up with different complexes. You should not delve into the past and remember good moments, this will only make the feeling of sorrow stronger, and loneliness will manifest itself even more. Give yourself some time to relax, take a break from everything – find a few positive moments in your condition.After all, you have enough time to take care of yourself and do something that was impossible in the relationship. One should feel oneself not as a lonely person, but as a free person, who does not need to be accountable to anyone for his actions.

After a few days of rest, you should go out into society and take your day to the maximum, so that there is no time for sad thoughts. This is a good opportunity to make a career, gain new skills and knowledge, and take up your favorite hobby. Enjoy every day, and also try to communicate more with positive people who do not go through difficult days in their life, they will help you tune in the right way.You can visit different entertainment places, if you really want it, you do not need to do it through force, otherwise it can cause the opposite effect. And never regret the past, because the future depends only on you.

If you are lonely due to the death of loved ones, then there is a slightly different situation, and only time will heal this feeling. You should not forget your loved ones, but you need to understand that you can no longer help with anything and change something too. So take it for granted, but keep living.And a busy day is also a good option for getting rid of bad thoughts. When a person gets very tired during the day, then at night there is no time for worries. And over time, loneliness will not be so acute, and communication with other people partially compensates for this.

I will never be with someone who treats me like trash. Slavery is worse than loneliness.

The most disgusting is loneliness: and around a thousand people …

Even when you lose love for the next, thousandth time and loneliness with vile tentacles digs into you, filling your nature with sadness – hope still glimmers inside.

What, don’t believe your eyes? Yes, I’m so disgusting! Drunk, with a cigarette in my mouth, tears will never stop running … I want to be weak! Leave me alone! Alone with sadness …

Best status:

I hate it when a person pisses on you, musi pusi, and everyone is so affectionate in VKontakte, and then on the street once – and does not even say hello!

Run away from those who do not appreciate you at all!

And again, only contact breaks loneliness. Tea, sweets, music … and other attributes of sadness that will not help you at all now.

I’m not a whiner. But sometimes the soul becomes so empty that loneliness covers the head and sadness settles in the heart!

I smile but my soul plays notes of longing …

Loneliness can completely enslave. And even when a loving person appears, it doesn’t get any warmer!

There is emptiness in the hearts, as if I am alone in the world …

My neighbors from above flooded my neighbors from below. Conclusion: everyone ignores me!

Loneliness is an absolute. The only one that exists.Everything else is a figment of our imagination, an illusion.

Loneliness is when you watch the clock ticking? No! Loneliness is when it rains and there is no one to hug you ..

Soul suddenly emptied. This is no one’s fault. Feelings just die …

Don’t be jealous of me for loneliness. I will not understand this jealousy. Sometimes a person wants to be alone, alone …

Do you love freedom ?! Free!

Better to be unknown, but happy in love than brilliant, but lonely

The night sky, sparkling stars, the moon illuminating the road, dreams, complete silence and a short loneliness are all that made her happy … But loneliness now interferes …

Life at the very top can be quite lonely, but this is a great place to express your opinion

Loneliness consumes the soul when the closest person leaves us.Then we become like beasts in a cage. We begin to rush to the walls and howl at the moon

When your most beloved, dear person … is very far from you … and you miss him madly … for me this is … – loneliness …

Every morning she makes me hot sandwiches. I gently whisper to her, “Already going, going … Now.” But she never understands me. Maybe because she’s a microwave?

I am alone. Why do I need someone? I’ll be lonely again. All efforts are fruitless.Thanks to all. All are free

A pair of each creature. Where is my creature ?!

Loneliness is when you are and when you seem to be not there.

What does loneliness mean? For me, this is when I go to the kitchen in the middle of the night to drink water, and there is no one to ask “Where are you going?”

nothing screams louder than silence …

I am so alone at this hour that I want to die. I have nowhere to go, I destroyed my world, For me, only a candle cries at the cold dawn ..

I am alone … in the whole world … I am so lonely among you … you are unhappy people.. who do not understand … all life … after all, life is a lie …

There are five of us … I and four walls …

If I am lost alone, I see the relish of life … I don’t ask an annoying voice that I’ll instruct you to robiti …

For real fighters there are no allies or friends for their place in the sun. They endure loneliness firmly, because they are strong in spirit

Loneliness is when wonderful people surround you, but they have someone closer than you.

Parting does not always mean the end.Sometimes it’s just opening a new page in life

When I’m alone … it seems to me that I am completely alone … And when I’m with people … it doesn’t seem to me … I know this for sure …

Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house, and the alarm clock rings 🙁

– Why do you always wear headphones? “They’re like an airbag between me and the rest of the world.

Loneliness is happiness because then we do not know lies, betrayal, fear of losing a loved one, we just live for ourselves (

I am lonely, and you are lonely … But we will not take a single step to meet each other.

Beautiful girls are never alone, but they are often lonely …

Loneliness – in 4 corners you are looking for the fifth.

Loneliness is when you reply to spam and add it to your contact list

Loneliness is when you know exactly who blamed in the kitchen

Proud loneliness is a cheap excuse for uselessness

Deep loneliness is when you walk down the street in the evening, and you even have mosquitoes do not bite …

But she was happy, And she did not know tears at all … Through the pain and cry: “I am strong!” She whispered: “I’m tired …”

When you are alone, you even have sex with yourself.Each lonely person can invent his own world, as God once did it

I don’t feel my heart, I don’t feel my hand … I decided so myself, silence is my friend … I wish I had sinned … Loneliness is torment …

You are sitting on a chair with a straight back, and your soul lies next to a lump, tightly hugging your knees with your arms, like a wounded, but faithful dog

We are all, to some extent, doomed to loneliness. It ever catches up with each of us …

I will marry a can of coffee and will always be cheerful and happy.my lover will be an mp3 – player, the record holder for the number of music lover’s orgasm brought to me

Loneliness is when there are a lot of people around, but you cannot fully value not only one ..

Signs, questions … who are we with … a cry of loneliness …

The phone has 100 contacts, but there is no one to call…. There are 500 friends in contact, but you don’t know who to write to. … And only real friends call and write first. They don’t need a reason

When you are alone for ages, you become very picky about food and sex.

For me, only a candle cries at the cold dawn …

Life is too short – you shouldn’t waste it, in vain pitying yourself, sitting alone. There is a spark inside everyone, you just need to kindle it in order to warm up with life-giving warmth, wake up and dare to live on.

Only in solitude can you see in yourself what society does not allow to see.

The moon and the sun converged on my horizon. Day and night were reversed. I live, I breathe, but not with you….

Are you lonely? Do not miss the opportunity to enjoy the company of an intelligent person

How tired I am of hearing “I want you”, so I want to hear “I want to be with you!”

I know what loneliness is: A bitten piece of chocolate, a cup of strong coffee, music that already hurts my ears, an unbearable emptiness in my heart and tears in my eyes …

I’m not looking for anyone, I don’t regret anyone, I don’t love anyone , I don’t suffer, I don’t believe … I don’t call anyone, I don’t forgive anyone, I don’t owe anyone – I don’t promise …

It is pleasant to experience loneliness when in love with someone, even if not mutually.This develops imagination. Only in solitude can a person show his true nature

People often remain lonely, because instead of building bridges, they build walls.

loneliness is when only shampoo is spying on you in the bath

Loneliness is when you feel like the clock is ticking? No! Loneliness is when it rains and there is no one to hug you

…

Loneliness is when you go crazy, and you have no one to even tell about it …

I am so lonely at this hour that I want to die.

I have nowhere to go, I destroyed my world,

Much depends on ourselves. Until we ourselves want to break out of our shell of loneliness, no one will help us with this

There are 100 contacts on the phone, but there is no one to call …. There are 500 friends in contact, but you don’t know who to write to. …

For some, loneliness is when they are unloved, someone is lonely because he has no friends, And I am lonely when you are not around …

In search little green men ambushed the bathroom, armed with a kitchen knife and a screwdriver.Loneliness has disturbed the balance of mind. It seems it’s time to try on a straitjacket …

I’m not alone because I have a bad temper. I am lonely because I think outside the box

I crawl under the covers, and loneliness quietly creeps up to me, presses against my back and strokes, strokes, strokes my hands, chest, neck …

Love is when the heart beats faster, and separation is this is when every minute it seems that it is about to stop …

Loneliness is when they forgot to pick you up from the morgue …

I love the music of the rain, when my heart is lonely … the wonderful scent of perfume that came from her earlier.But I felt only the bitter smell of cigarettes, alcohol and loneliness …

We parted, but every minute I keep your image at the heart of the bank. I didn’t stop loving, and for the life of me, I can’t believe this parting …

I sat and looked at the sky … there was one obloko … and I realized that it was me …

We are no longer links of the same chain, we are no longer parts one whole, he will no longer wake me up in the morning with a kiss … Does anyone have a pill for love?

Love is when the heart beats faster, and separation is when every minute it seems that it is about to stop …

Night.I sit and smoke and stare out the window. It’s sad, there is no one to talk to, no one is waiting for my call. I look at the stars and think: “How many more of us are so lonely in the world?”

I AM ONE! Why do I need someone? I will be painful again! All efforts are fruitless, thank you all! Everyone is FREE

I am lonely .. and for some reason I like it …

Dummy people flock into flocks. Loneliness is like death for them. The rulers of the world look down on everyone and seek solitude. I do not belong to either one or the other, and I take loneliness for granted

… don’t look that I am Highness, save me from loneliness …

Sometimes you want to wrap yourself in a warm blanket, get an old photo album and listen to the rain outside the window …Fight loneliness! Go outside, run through the puddles and you will see a rainbow

Alone and alone are two completely different concepts. You can also be lonely at a noisy party. And this is a state of mind

Loneliness is when you wake up from a call in the middle of the night, you are glad that suddenly someone turned out to be needed, but all your expectations break off with the phrase “Sorry, I just made a wrong number”

Not all life is full of stormy events, there are times when you are left alone… It becomes sad and lonely. What to do in such moments, how to cheer yourself up?

What to do when sad

When a person is sad, he needs to cheer up, but how to do it … The tips are actually very simple. But believe me, they are incredibly effective! Among them, everyone will find at least 1 effective way of raising their spirits.

1. Turn up the volume of funny music or song (always rhythmic). Force yourself to get off the couch, spin in front of the mirror, sing along, dance.It is forbidden to include romantic and sad melodies when it is sad, as they will only aggravate the situation.
2. Make a decision that you need to pamper yourself with something and please. For example, buy a chocolate bar or ice cream.
3. Allocate yourself a number of money, which is not a pity, and go shopping. You don’t have to buy on a huge scale. Having bought some little thing for yourself, the mood will already rise! A new dress always has a positive effect on a person’s mood and well-being.
4. Remember your favorite business, hobby. You probably haven’t done this in a while. The taste for life will return, and you will relax and feel pleasure.
5. Pick one of your friends, go to the movies for a comedy. Eliminate watching melodramas, even comedy ones!
6. Don’t be lazy, get up, get dressed and go for a walk. Walking around the house can also help boost vitality and relieve stress.
7. Call any buddy and ask for help. You can name the most idiotic request, believe me, the person will respond and come to you.
8. Advice for those who consider their case of sadness hopeless … Get up on the toilet with your feet (even if you are now at work, this is even for the best). Now sit down and jump as fast as you can into a new, fun life! Yes, yes, jump to the floor, not inside the toilet, and think that you are transported into a new reality. When you leave the restroom and think about what you did, the sadness will go away.

How to deal with sadness and loneliness. What to do when sad

Ways to deal with loneliness

Loneliness can be useful for a short period of time, do not feel sorry for yourself, it only aggravates the situation, and try to use it for your own good in order to improve and develop.

Sources:

• What is loneliness
  

There are two types of reasons for loneliness: subjective and objective. Subjective reasons depend on you and lie in the demeanor. Changing a fraction of the settings imposed by fate, you will achieve a lot. Objective reasons are easier to eliminate, because they are easier to see, ascertain, realize, think over.

Instruction

Stop looking for the ideal! Firstly, 100% coincidence of the characters of two people is not a guarantee of the longevity of the marriage.And judging by the latest statements of psychologists, this is not a reason to start a family, because it is more effective to spend a vacation with such a person than to raise children.

Always balance your self-confidence and the turkey’s bombast. Should you look like that big scary bird? In reality, many brave heroes run away from the yard at the sound of her voice. Have you seen this?

Take off the mask of feminism. The opinion of complete emancipation is outdated and refuted.The M flask contains much more testosterone than the Zh flask. This means that at the molecular level you will never become more independent and familiar botanist.

Disconnect the Internet, turn away and leave the apartment. Choose one place from the list and visit it: club, cinema, cafe, exhibition, circus, karaoke, theater, concert or city park. Ideally, invite someone.

When meeting a new acquaintance, be sure to show interest in the young man.Attention! Carefully trace the line where your obsession begins. Between expressing one’s opinion and imposing there is a big one. Learn to recognize it.

When going to crowded places, plan your behavior. If you are afraid to do this in front of a mirror, then you have problems that it is better to correct with a psychologist.

Related videos

Having many friends and relatives, 90,748 people
can still feel loneliness, since loneliness is not a social status, but the attitude of 90,748 people
a.Many people are constantly around each of us, but still sometimes the thought of loneliness arises. 90,748 people are unlikely to be found on earth
, who has never experienced this feeling at least once in his life, which can be safely associated with an iceberg in the ocean.

Related videos

Sources:

• Human loneliness

People asking the question “How not to think about loneliness
? “, As a rule, are weighed down by this feeling.Most people strive to create strong family relationships, and if this process does not work out, you need to understand the reasons.

Instruction

First of all ask yourself the question: what is loneliness for you? There may be several answers. If this state is temporary for you, then in order not to think about it, treat it as an opportunity to take a break and gather strength before new meetings, emotions and relationships. When time without constant relationships and obligations is used as an opportunity to be alone with yourself and, in some way, enjoy your feelings, loneliness ceases to be a burden and begins to bring pleasure.

If you are not one of those people, you have become your constant companion, try to write on paper why you are in such a situation. In most cases, people answer that this is because they are ugly, unsuccessful, uninteresting, unlucky, etc. In fact, all these definitions say one thing: you do not love yourself. Realize this and accept as fact that this is what you have to work on.

When a person does not love himself, he allows others to treat himself in the same way as himself. This simple truth should be the motivation for your changes.Love yourself without criticism. Love your body and your habits, your abilities and deficiencies. Upon closer examination, you will find out that you have many more positive qualities than negative ones.

This state may not come immediately. It may take more than one month for this. Use the technique of affirmation or self-hypnosis. Most importantly, do not stop and wean yourself from self-criticism. If you can’t do it yourself, see a psychologist.

Thoughts of 90,748 loneliness
Replace with voice training about your love for yourself.Saying positive affirmations to yourself dozens of times will build your subconscious self-confidence. When you do, more than 90,748 loneliness will disappear.
. You will definitely meet someone who will be next to you. Do not lose hope and believe in yourself.

It often happens that a person, being among a huge number of people, feels lonely. It seems that there is constant communication, interaction with other people, but my soul is very empty and dreary.

What is loneliness

Loneliness is a state of a person in which he is isolated from others: in the physical real and imaginary mental. In the first case, this is due to some external factors: work in secluded places, forced isolation from society (a dangerous criminal or a mentally unhealthy person). And in the second, it happens in the soul of a person, despite constant contacts with other people, when there is no soul mate close in views and meaning in life.

The most difficult thing is mental loneliness. It can arise for various reasons: parting with a loved one, death of loved ones, moving to another city / country. Sometimes a person is lonely since childhood due to a complex inner world that is not understandable for his environment.

Women more often than men suffer from loneliness due to more highly developed emotionality. But sometimes men also experience this condition very hard.

Ways to deal with loneliness

The main thing in the fight is not to dwell on this feeling.Being with yourself for a short period is very useful, because with constant employment, sometimes there is not enough time to understand yourself, your feelings and sincere desires. But you should not isolate yourself, try to isolate yourself from society for a long time, otherwise it can develop into depression, which is then very difficult to get out of on your own without the help of specialists.

In no case should you eat or drink loneliness, it will not go anywhere, and the consequences can become very serious, and sometimes even intractable (alcoholism).You should not get addicted to different depressants, they will certainly help, but addiction may appear, and the reason will not go away by itself.

If loneliness has arisen due to parting with a loved one, then do not blame yourself and come up with different complexes. You should not delve into the past and remember good moments, this will only make the feeling of sorrow stronger, and loneliness will manifest itself even more. Give yourself some time to relax, take a break from everything – find a few positive moments in your condition.After all, you have enough time to take care of yourself and do something that was impossible in the relationship. One should feel oneself not as a lonely person, but as a free person, who does not need to be accountable to anyone for his actions.

After a few days of rest, you should go out into society and take your day to the maximum, so that there is no time for sad thoughts. This is a good opportunity to make a career, gain new skills and knowledge, and take up your favorite hobby. Enjoy every day, and also try to communicate more with positive people who do not go through difficult days in their life, they will help you tune in the right way.You can visit different entertainment places, if you really want it, you do not need to do it through force, otherwise it can cause the opposite effect. And never regret the past, because the future depends only on you.

If you are lonely due to the death of loved ones, then there is a slightly different situation, and only time will heal this feeling. You should not forget your loved ones, but you need to understand that you can no longer help with anything and change something too. So take it for granted, but keep living.And a busy day is also a good option for getting rid of bad thoughts. When a person gets very tired during the day, then at night there is no time for worries. And over time, loneliness will not be so acute, and communication with other people partially compensates for this.

It’s no secret that such a feeling as sadness is inherent in each of us. From time to time, she finds any person – rolls, covering him with his head. When we feel sad in our souls, we feel completely defenseless, we want to feel someone’s support (even from a domestic cat), we need the help of our relatives and friends.Sometimes we try to overcome our blues on our own, but we endure a fiasco … Where does it come from? Why is it so sad at heart and what to do about it – we will tell you in our article.

Sadness, longing …

A person experiences the aforementioned state when his soul hurts, and it hurts when some problems arise in our life or we are tormented by remorse … At such moments we are obsessed with one single goal: to go to friends , to wise parents. Some people just need to unwind in the fresh air, while others prefer to talk to the priest.All of the above people, of course, will listen carefully to you, after which they will give you some advice, share their experiences with you, and so on. They understand you very well, because the sad state of mind is familiar to each of them.

You, of course, can constantly meet with your parents, friends and priests when your soul hurts … But you can also try to get along with the blues in hand-to-hand combat one-on-one! How? Read on!

What to do if you feel sad

Drive your thoughts away!

The first and most important piece of advice is to try not to think about something bad.Switch your attention to what interests you. Personally, when I feel sad, I go in for active sports: in the winter I go skiing, in the summer I play tennis or go to fitness. You know, it helps, you come home from training and fall into a deep and healthy sleep. You can watch some interesting comedy or a selection of funny videos on YouTube. General cleaning of the apartment helps to distract from bad thoughts! Checked!

We surf the world wide web

As an option – “walk” through the vastness of the worldwide network:

Sweet and smooth!

If your heart is still sad – cheer yourself up with sweets and chocolate! A candy, a cake, or eventually a Snickers candy bar will do the trick! Do not be afraid, this will not significantly spoil your figure, but the dull blues will surely recede!

Time heals…

Friends, if the reason for your sadness is completely understandable and known to you, and none of our advice can drive this blues away, then look at it with a philosophical look! Remember the well-known statement that “everything in our life passes, and this will also pass.” So spoke the sage Solomon. Smile at your reflection in the mirror. Your blues just can’t stand such a positive and powerful attack! She will leave you as soon as possible! Good luck, and do not be ill!

• “I noticed
  that when i get excited
  masturbate and have an orgasm,
  my mood is rapidly falling from the state of the highest pleasure to depression,
  and I start to feel lonely and depressed.That,
  what started with a spark of desire
  ends with
  that I’m lying
  curled up in a ball
  and cry into my pillow. This is fine? What is happening to me?”
  

Fleeting bouts of apathy and sharp pricks of loneliness after orgasm do happen to those
who are unhappy with their personal life. That,
what do you describe – when this fleeting blues turns into night crying and depression – it also happens,
although less often. You are not alone in this. This phenomenon is called “poskoitala sadness”.

Of course,
such an emotional fall from heaven to earth can indicate deep psychological problems. If you are depressed
it might be
that the situation itself, in principle, disposes of it: at such moments you are alone,
alone with my thoughts,
dreaming of someone else
who is not around
and therefore the symptoms are worse. Try to see a psychotherapist. We all curl up sometimes and cry into our pillow
but nobody wants
to make it a habit.A doctor can help.

“We all sometimes curl up into a ball and cry into a pillow,
but nobody wants
so that it becomes a habit. ”

The mechanism of the onset of depression,
related to sex life,
not well understood yet. Some scholars believe
that postcoital sadness has something to do with the biochemical or hormonal nature of orgasm. Probably,
with it, the euphoric surge of dopamine is drowned out by other hormones. We do not know this yet. The relationship between sex and emotion
mind and body are so complex
what else new discoveries promise science.In each case, it is necessary to consult a doctor,
to understand
how exactly can you help in this situation.

But try to take care of yourself.
People,
prone to depression
helps to cope with it exactly what
what they absolutely do not want to do under the influence of her symptoms: a healthy diet,
physical activity,
communication with people,
good night sleep.

I am lonely … I am so lonely … Sad, boring, painful … LONE … I live in a city where hundreds of thousands, millions of people, and at the same time I, as if in a vacuum, I am lonely.How is this possible? Why? For what? And the main thing is what to do to get rid of this unpleasant feeling of your own loneliness.

“I am very lonely” – if this thought comes to mind, then something needs to be changed in life. Man is a social being and only in society, among other people, he can be really happy. It does not matter the number of people who will be surrounded – one faithful friend or a hundred acquaintances – the main thing is that there should be communication, contact with the outside world not only at work, but at the behest of the heart and soul.If it is not there, this is unbearable suffering for any mentally normal person.

Is loneliness a disease of the inhabitants of modern cities?

There are many questions about loneliness on the Internet. Along with dating sites, many projects and forums are being created for those who suffer from loneliness. And although people try to meet each other, to support each other, there is still an increase in people who feel their loneliness very, very sharply.

I am a man without friends.I am very lonely. I don’t even have close acquaintances. You have no idea how difficult it is to meet every day alone, to know that no one will call and ask how you are doing. The people I communicate with are work colleagues. How difficult it is to live knowing that no one in the world will support you, will not touch you, and that all I can do is go to the cinema alone, go in a transport alone, go somewhere alone. Boring, sad and lonely. It hurts unbearably. Every day to think that no one needs you, that there is no friend, girlfriend, there is no one for miles around.It hurts, it hurts terribly. It hurts to such an extent that you start communicating and staying with people so far from you that your soul sinks into your heels, and you don’t know how to get out of this pit. Loneliness is pain. The real one that no one feels or sees. Problems at work, in the family – nothing beats this feeling of loneliness. Every day I do not want to fall asleep because tomorrow is the same gray useless day in complete despair and loneliness.

A person who is lonely understands that this is a negative state that brings suffering.Naturally, he wants to get rid of loneliness, like a disease. Recover and be like everyone else, normal people: make friends, communicate, enjoy life and share this joy with others. Here’s just how to do it? All attempts to go outside do not work, the relationship does not stick. You can’t find a loved one, you can’t make friends either. The situation is aggravated with age, the older a person becomes, the more difficult it is for him to find someone: peers of the same age already have their families, their downed companies, into which it is very, very difficult for a new person to fit in.

Not so long ago he writhed with a heart attack, as you know, he survived … then it seemed that the end was probably here (only a completely different word was spinning in my head) … it was not scary and not insulting to die, it was insulting to remember – there is nothing, no funny and joyful moments with someone near, nothing, and there’s no one near because I’m such a lonely or shitty person, but because it so happened in life that all life happens and passes by you …

In the end, loneliness becomes such an unbearable burden that a person sometimes even thinks about suicide.“I’m lonely” is really scary to understand. This burden, like a stone, crushes, suffocates, angers, irritates. In general, it causes the whole range of negative sensations that only a person has.

If you are lonely, the reason always lies in the subconscious. It is very easy to find friends, acquaintances, loved ones. The main thing is to understand yourself and understand what to do with yourself.

Let’s try to understand from the point of view of the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, why some people, unlike others, fall into the trap of loneliness and can even hang there for a long time, literally until the end of their lives.And most importantly, how to get out of this state.

Because absolutely everyone, without exception, can get out of this state.

Want to know more about human psychology? Do you want to finally become a happy person? We invite you to attend trainings on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. The introductory part of the lectures is absolutely free and available to everyone at

Hello, I am addressing you, who is on the verge of despair, hopelessness, who has been covered by a wave of depression.I ask you to pull yourself together and force yourself to go to practice dancing, even against your will, when you don’t feel like it at all, push yourself over. At first it will be hard, you will want to quit, but please, hold out for a month, and then everything will change for the better. I do not promise you that all your problems will be solved, no, BUT YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TO THE SITUATION.
Why dancing? Dances, specifically dances, and preferably social – Argentine tango or Salsa. Because social dances have neither age nor cultural restrictions, they are created as if for everyone, they dance in pairs, in close embraces (the pleasure of dancing together, of common successes and achievements is unforgettable).Each resulting movement, each dance is a victory, and there will be many such victories in just one training session. And when people hug, their bodies produce endorphins – the hormone of joy and happiness. And I’m sure an hour’s workout will give you emotions for the whole evening, and maybe until the next class.
And all of the above is not just nice words, I went through it. Now I am successful, beautiful, self-confident and accepting of life in all its manifestations. But this was not always the case, until recently I was devoured by depression from unrequited love, I was fired from a good high-paying job, I started having health problems (I was very devoted to work and did not pay attention to my health).I felt very bad, because I did not dare to tell my friends about my problems (I considered myself strong or thought that everyone was indifferent), I was lonely, hopelessness choked me, sadness and despair covered me. Everything became so unbearable that once finding himself on the edge of the cliff, I wanted to take a step forward. But to my happiness, I thought for a second and realized that this would not solve the problems, and would only leave me a failure forever (if there is rebirth, then I will be locked in a circle of failures and depression).Then I took a step back, and it was this one – the step was, STEP FORWARD, immediately after that, my friend called me and said: “I don’t want to hear anything, you’ll dance, I’m waiting for you in training.” He pulled out for a month, forcibly pulled out to training (just my “past” also danced). But they showed me that the “past” is only an episode in my life, and tango is me, my essence. After three months I began to appear at general parties, and six months later I became the most desirable partner, for some I became a dream.
A little later I got married, opened my own Argentine tango school “Kairos” http://vk.com/club8930772 and became successful and self-confident. Now I have many friends, and when I have difficulties, I am no longer afraid to turn to them for help. Today, different events happen in my life (less than a month my husband and I broke up), but now I believe in my future and can see the opening opportunities in the situations that happen.
P.S. I really want your life to change for the better.If you need to speak out – write, want to learn how to dance tango – you are welcome here http://vk.com/club8930772. Why am I doing this? I just want to thank fate for the given chance and support – to support and help those who need help.

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Updated: 04/04/2021

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90,000 Sadness drives you into the cave of loneliness.I’m left alone with my shadow. It takes time to put things in order in thoughts.

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Loneliness, emptiness, boredom, sadness. Quotes and aphorisms with meaning, sayings from films.

Why are you awake? Maybe the fact that late at night, when everything calms down, and you are lying in your bed and there is no one around but you, you feel scared? It’s scary because you feel something … Emptiness … Peaceful warrior.

Nothing takes away so much as that which leads to loneliness. And nothing can give as much as loneliness itself. Rise of the New Day.

The mind, like nature, does not tolerate emptiness. Nature fills the void with love; the mind often resorts to hatred for this. Hatred gives him food. Victor Hugo.

The search must start with yourself. No love can satisfy us if we do not love ourselves, because when we go in search of love with a void inside, we find only a new void.Robin Norwood.

If you build something on the void, sooner or later it will collapse. S. Thomas

Boredom is the emptiness of the soul. N.V. Shelgunov

Alone, we learn that being is more important than having, and that we matter more than the results of our efforts. William Faulkner.

A fool seeks how to overcome loneliness, a wise man finds how to enjoy it … Mikhail Mamchich.

Only the ugly duckling is happy. He has time to think alone about the meaning of life, friendship, read a book, and help other people.So he becomes a swan. You just need patience! Marlene Dietrich.

Life goes on, but the majority did not even ask the questions “why live?”, “What is the meaning of my life?”, “Where am I going?”, “What am I looking for?” This is the emptiness that drives people into loneliness. Vano

It is difficult to realize that you are alone! But still, true loneliness helps to understand who you really are !!! .. Bronikovsky Evgeniy

Alone, everyone is able to see in himself that which is obscured by society.Leonid S. Sukhorukov.

Only now I am alone: ​​I thirsted for people, I coveted people – and I always found only myself – and I no longer thirst for myself. You should wait for your thirst and let it fully ripen: otherwise you will never discover your source, which can never be the source of anyone else. Friedrich Nietzsche.

Just one conviction that the world is much better than it seems at first glance during sadness is worth falling into loneliness. David.

Not just at the sight of a person they get rid of loneliness, but at the sight of an honest, conscientious person who provides help.Epictetus.

A big soul is never alone. No matter how fate takes friends from her, she in the end always creates them for herself. Romain Rolland.

If you are messing around, avoid loneliness; if you are alone, do not mess around. Samuel Johnson.

When living with people, do not forget what you learned in solitude, and in solitude, ponder what you learned from communicating with people. Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy.

One witness is not a witness; one judge is not a judge; one critic is not a critic; and only an artist, poet, thinker, prophet is always one.Valentin Grudev.

Loneliness, emptiness, boredom, sadness. Quotes and aphorisms with meaning, sayings from films.