What are the key differences between compulsive and pathological lying. How do these behaviors impact mental health and relationships. Can compulsive or pathological lying be treated effectively.

Defining Compulsive and Pathological Lying

Compulsive lying, also known as pathological lying, is a complex behavioral pattern characterized by frequent and persistent dishonesty with little or no apparent justification. This phenomenon was first described by a German doctor in 1891, yet despite its long history, a precise definition remains elusive. To understand this behavior better, it’s crucial to examine its key characteristics and manifestations.

Key Traits of Compulsive Liars

• Frequent lying, even without pressure or clear benefits
• Lies often contain a kernel of truth, making them more believable
• Tendency to exaggerate and embellish stories
• Lies are often used to portray themselves as heroes or gain sympathy
• Detailed and convincing storytelling abilities
• May become delusional and start believing their own lies

Are compulsive liars aware of their behavior? In many cases, individuals who engage in compulsive lying may not fully recognize the extent of their dishonesty. Some may even come to believe their own fabrications, blurring the line between conscious lying and delusion.

The Psychology Behind Compulsive Lying

Understanding the root causes of compulsive lying is essential for addressing this behavior effectively. While the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) does not currently recognize compulsive or pathological lying as a standalone mental health condition, it often appears as a symptom of various psychiatric disorders.

Mental Health Conditions Associated with Compulsive Lying

1. Bipolar Disorder
2. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
3. Impulse Control Issues
4. Substance Dependency
5. Borderline Personality Disorder
6. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Beyond these clinical associations, what other factors contribute to the development of compulsive lying? Psychologists have identified several environmental and psychological factors that may play a role:

• Growing up in an environment where deception is normalized or rewarded
• Low self-esteem and the need to create a more favorable self-image
• Past trauma and the use of lying as a coping mechanism

The Impact of Compulsive Lying on Relationships and Mental Health

While compulsive lying may offer short-term benefits, such as avoiding conflict or gaining attention, its long-term consequences can be severe. How does persistent dishonesty affect the liar and those around them?

Consequences for the Compulsive Liar

• Increased stress from maintaining complex webs of lies
• Difficulty living up to fabricated achievements or experiences
• Potential legal repercussions if lies involve criminal activities
• Deterioration of mental health due to constant deception

Impact on Relationships

Can relationships survive when one party is a compulsive liar? The strain placed on personal and professional relationships can be immense. Trust, a fundamental component of healthy relationships, is eroded as lies are uncovered. Friends, family members, and colleagues may feel betrayed, leading to social isolation for the compulsive liar.

How does compulsive lying affect the mental health of those close to the liar? Loved ones may experience anxiety, depression, and trust issues that extend beyond their relationship with the compulsive liar. The emotional toll of constantly questioning the truth can be significant.

Treatment Approaches for Compulsive Lying

Is it possible to overcome compulsive lying? While challenging, treatment options are available for those willing to address their behavior. Therapeutic interventions play a crucial role in helping individuals understand and manage their compulsive lying tendencies.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

How can CBT help compulsive liars? This therapeutic approach focuses on identifying and changing thought patterns that lead to lying behaviors. By developing healthier coping mechanisms and improving self-esteem, individuals can reduce their reliance on deception.

Psychodynamic Therapy

What role does exploring past experiences play in treating compulsive lying? Psychodynamic therapy delves into childhood experiences and unresolved conflicts that may contribute to lying behaviors. By addressing these underlying issues, individuals can work towards more honest communication patterns.

Group Therapy

Can sharing experiences with others help compulsive liars? Group therapy provides a supportive environment where individuals can learn from others facing similar challenges. It offers opportunities for practicing honesty and receiving feedback in a controlled setting.

Strategies for Supporting Someone with Compulsive Lying Tendencies

If you suspect a loved one is struggling with compulsive lying, how can you offer support? Approaching the situation with empathy and understanding is crucial. Here are some strategies to consider:

• Encourage professional help: Gently suggest therapy or counseling
• Maintain open communication: Create a non-judgmental space for honest dialogue

li>Set clear boundaries: Establish consequences for dishonesty while offering support

• Focus on the underlying issues: Address potential root causes such as low self-esteem or past trauma
• Practice patience: Recognize that changing ingrained behaviors takes time

Is it possible to maintain a relationship with a compulsive liar? While challenging, relationships can survive if both parties are committed to addressing the issue. However, it’s essential to prioritize your own mental health and well-being throughout the process.

The Role of Self-Awareness in Overcoming Compulsive Lying

For those struggling with compulsive lying, developing self-awareness is a crucial step towards change. How can individuals recognize and address their own lying behaviors?

Journaling and Self-Reflection

Can keeping a journal help combat compulsive lying? Regular self-reflection through journaling can help individuals identify patterns in their lying behaviors, triggers, and underlying emotions. This increased awareness can be a powerful tool for change.

Mindfulness Practices

How does mindfulness relate to honest communication? Mindfulness techniques can help individuals become more present and aware of their thoughts and actions. By practicing mindfulness, compulsive liars may find it easier to pause and choose honesty over deception.

Seeking Feedback from Trusted Individuals

Is it beneficial to involve others in the process of overcoming compulsive lying? Asking trusted friends or family members for honest feedback can provide valuable insights into lying behaviors that may not be apparent to the individual. This external perspective can guide efforts towards more truthful communication.

The Neuroscience of Lying: Understanding the Brain’s Role

Recent advances in neuroscience have shed light on the brain mechanisms involved in deception. How does the brain respond when we lie, and what can this tell us about compulsive lying?

Brain Regions Involved in Deception

Which areas of the brain are activated during lying? Neuroimaging studies have identified several key regions involved in deceptive behavior:

• Prefrontal cortex: Involved in decision-making and impulse control
• Anterior cingulate cortex: Plays a role in conflict monitoring and error detection
• Amygdala: Associated with emotional processing and fear responses

How do these brain regions interact during compulsive lying? Research suggests that frequent lying may lead to changes in neural pathways, potentially making dishonesty feel more natural over time. This neuroplasticity highlights the importance of early intervention in addressing compulsive lying behaviors.

The Role of Neurotransmitters

Are certain brain chemicals linked to lying behaviors? Some studies have explored the relationship between neurotransmitters and dishonesty. For example, fluctuations in dopamine levels may influence the likelihood of engaging in deceptive behaviors. Understanding these neurochemical factors could potentially inform future treatment approaches for compulsive lying.

Cultural Perspectives on Lying and Truthfulness

How do different cultures view lying and its implications? Cultural norms and values play a significant role in shaping attitudes towards honesty and deception. Exploring these diverse perspectives can provide valuable insights into the complexities of compulsive lying.

Variations in Ethical Standards

Do all cultures place the same value on absolute truthfulness? While most cultures generally value honesty, the degree of acceptance for certain types of lies (e.g., white lies or lies told to save face) can vary significantly. Understanding these cultural nuances is crucial when addressing compulsive lying in diverse populations.

Impact of Collectivist vs. Individualist Societies

How does societal structure influence attitudes towards lying? In collectivist cultures, maintaining group harmony may sometimes take precedence over individual truthfulness. Conversely, individualist societies may place a higher premium on personal honesty. These cultural differences can shape both the manifestation of compulsive lying and approaches to treatment.

Religious and Philosophical Influences

What role do religious and philosophical traditions play in shaping attitudes towards lying? Many religious and ethical systems emphasize the importance of truthfulness, often considering honesty a moral imperative. Exploring these cultural and spiritual dimensions can provide additional context for understanding and addressing compulsive lying behaviors.

The Future of Research and Treatment for Compulsive Lying

As our understanding of compulsive lying continues to evolve, what new directions might research and treatment take? Exploring emerging trends and potential breakthroughs can offer hope for more effective interventions in the future.

Advancements in Neuroimaging Techniques

How might improved brain imaging technologies enhance our understanding of compulsive lying? More sophisticated neuroimaging methods could provide deeper insights into the neural mechanisms underlying deceptive behaviors. This knowledge could potentially lead to more targeted therapeutic approaches.

Genetic Research

Is there a genetic component to compulsive lying? While current evidence is limited, future genetic studies may uncover hereditary factors that contribute to the development of persistent lying behaviors. Such findings could inform early intervention strategies and personalized treatment plans.

Digital Interventions and Virtual Reality

Can technology play a role in treating compulsive lying? The development of digital tools and virtual reality environments may offer new avenues for therapy. These technologies could provide safe spaces for practicing honest communication and developing healthier interpersonal skills.

Integrative Treatment Approaches

How might holistic treatment methods benefit those struggling with compulsive lying? Future interventions may increasingly combine traditional psychotherapy with complementary approaches such as mindfulness training, art therapy, or even nutritional support. This integrative approach could address the multifaceted nature of compulsive lying more effectively.

As research in this field progresses, our ability to understand, prevent, and treat compulsive lying is likely to improve. By continuing to explore the complex interplay of psychological, neurological, and cultural factors involved in this behavior, we can work towards more effective support for those affected by compulsive lying and their loved ones.

Compulsive Liar vs Pathological Liar: Traits, Mental Health

vzaichenko

October 12, 2022

When someone has compulsive lying, they routinely tell lies with little to no justification. Another name for it is pathological lying. A German doctor first described this condition in 1891. Despite being around for more than a century, compulsive/pathological lying lacks a precise definition. The term “compulsive lying” refers to the compulsive lying of pathological liars.

SIGNS OF A COMPULSIVE LIAR

People are occasionally dishonest. However, pathological liars lie a lot more even when the context does not demand dishonesty. The following are the traits that are often found in pathological liars:

1. Their lies are usually believable with a bit of truth in them. A person who fell and got a scratch might lie to their boss that they broke a bone.
2. They lie even when they are not under any form of pressure. Someone trying to hide an affair by lying about it isn’t necessarily a pathological liar since they are lying for a reason (to hide it). However, a college dropout who is always claiming to have a Ph.D. will qualify as one.
3. Their lies are mainly to make them look like good people or heroes. This is done mostly to gain acceptance, admiration, or sympathy.
4. Internal motivations drive these lies. For instance, a child who lies compulsively to get out of trouble and has strict and abusive parents cannot be classified as a pathological or compulsive liar because their lying is triggered by an outside factor (their parents).
5. While some people lie to get out of trouble or avoid uncomfortable situations, a pathological liar just tells lies and lies and stories with no clear benefit. This is because other people’s lies serve a clear purpose, whereas their lies have no such purpose.
6. Because the person lying has nothing to gain from their lies, friends and family members may find this to be especially frustrating.
7. Their lies are usually dramatic, exaggerated, and complicated but very detailed. Pathological/compulsive liars are good at telling stories so they can tell detailed, colorful, believable, and convincing lies.
8. They might become delusional and begin to believe their lies because oftentimes, they tell stories that fall between conscious lying and delusional tales.
9. A pathological liar tells lies and stories that fall somewhere between conscious lying and delusion. They sometimes believe their lies.

WHAT CAUSES COMPULSIVE LYING?

Even though currently, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) does not recognize compulsive/pathological lying as a mental health condition of its own that can stand alone as a diagnosis, it still appears to be a symptom of several mental health conditions. Yet compulsive lying does appear as a symptom of several larger conditions.

Compulsive lying disorder can be a symptom of the following psychiatric disorders:

1. Bipolar Disorder
2. Attention deficit hyperactivity (ADHD)
3. Impulse control issues
4. Substance dependency
5. Borderline personality
6. Narcissistic personality

Another cause of compulsive lying is:

1. Environment

Psychologists believe a person’s environment can play a huge role in compulsive lying. A person who grew up or lives in an environment where people use deception to their advantage without any major consequences may begin to believe that the benefits of telling these lies outweigh their consequences.

2. Low self-esteem

Some people may use lying as a way to soothe their ego by creating a delusion for them and others to believe.

3. Trauma

For some people, lying is a coping mechanism for the trauma they’ve experienced in the past while for others, they can’t stop telling lies because they’ve gotten used to lying to get out of trouble in the past.

CONSEQUENCES OF COMPULSIVE LYING

Even though compulsive lying has a lot of short-term benefits, they tend the backfire with time.

1.  A compulsive liar can experience extreme stress from trying to keep track of their lies.
2. They can begin to struggle to live up to their lies.
3. If these lies get exposed, their relationships are at the risk of strain and it could be as bad as facing legal consequences.

TREATMENT FOR COMPULSIVE LYING

1. Therapy

Compulsive liars are advised and encouraged to seek help from a qualified therapist. A therapist is always able to help habitual liars understand their condition and how their dishonesty affects other people. As we have stated earlier, compulsive lying could be a result of other underlying mental health problems, which a therapist will be able to diagnose and treat during therapy. However, it is important to resist lying as much as possible during sessions as lies could be misleading. Also, treatment works better and faster when the patient acknowledges they have a problem and they are willing to tackle it, therefore, it is not advisable to force a person into therapy. Forcing a person into therapy will only trigger them to build resistance by lying to their therapist. Group or individual therapy sessions can be helpful in treatment. When these lies have interfered with their romantic relationship, couples counseling can be recommended.

2. Behavior Therapy

This involves behavioral modification strategies and activities such as role-playing to promote changes, aid recovery progress, and deal with mood disorders that accompany the mental disorder.

3. Medications

If this behavior is fueled by other issues like anxiety or drug abuse, some medications can be prescribed to help with this.

HOW TO DEAL WITH A COMPULSIVE LIAR?

Dealing with a pathological liar can be very frustrating particularly because their lies appear to be baseless, pointless, and unnecessary. It can threaten the trust in the relationship you have with them and make it hard to even have any conversation with them as they leave you constantly doubting and second-guessing their words.

Here are a few tips to help you cope with a compulsive liar:

1. Don’t engage them

When you are having a conversation with them and you notice they are lying, do not engage them by continuing the conversation or probing further. You can question whatever they are saying to make them realize you are aware they are lies and this may encourage them to stop lying at that point. You can also tell them you are no longer interested in continuing the conversation due to their dishonesty.

2. Don’t get angry

As annoying as it can get, you mustn’t lose your temper or let your anger drive your words and actions when confronting them. This can be hurtful to them because most of the time, they tell these lies out of habit and not intentionally. Be firm but also supportive.

3. Expect denial

For someone who lies habitually, do not expect them to admit they are lying when confronted. They tend to respond first with a lie. They can even get angry, express shock, or start crying over the accusation.

4. Remember you are not the problem

It’s difficult to handle being lied to personally, especially when you are in a serious relationship with the person. However, for your mental well-being, you do not have to take the lies personally because this person might just be lying due to a bigger underlying personality disorder like low self-esteem.

5. Be supportive

When you are confronting them about their lies, let them know you love and value them for who they are and they do not need to try to impress you.

6. Suggest medical help

Without sounding judgmental, you can suggest they get professional help, for example on Calmerry online therapy and also let them know that this suggestion is merely from a place of concern for them. You can also help them with information about compulsive lying like articles they can read through when they are ready to seek help. Let them understand that they might have bigger underlying conditions that can be triggering the lies and getting help will help them figure this out on time.

Conclusion

Even though we often use both pathological lying and compulsive lying interchangeably to describe the same thing since medical literature doesn’t describe them differently. However, mental health professionals claim that these two terms are subtly different from each other. According to them, compulsive liars tell falsehoods uncontrollably and they are more comfortable with lying over unimportant issues. Compulsive liars can tell lies that can tarnish their images and they refuse to admit it even after the truth has been discovered by others. On the other hand, signs of a pathological liar include lying with no clear motives usually to gain admiration, attention, or even sympathy just for their internal gratification. Unlike compulsive liars, pathological liars tend to mix their lies with a bit of truth to make them more believable.

Because of these differences, pathological liars are considered more manipulative than compulsive liars.

Traits, Mental Health, and More

Occasional dishonesty is natural. But when does lying become a problem? And what makes lying compulsive or pathological?

From little white lies to deliberate omissions, lying can take many forms.

Most people sometimes cover up the truth to protect themselves or another person. But dishonesty can become a serious problem in relationships — especially when it’s frequent or without a clear reason.

It can be frustrating to deal with someone who often hides the truth, and broken bonds of trust can be hard to rebuild. Understanding the different types of lying, and the reasons why people do it, can help you work out the next steps in your relationships.

Most people tell lies occasionally. There are many reasons people might lie, such as:

• avoiding offending someone they care about
• protecting themselves from a perceived threat
• feelings of shame or guilt
• avoiding conflict or negative emotions
• acting out of impulse
• making themselves look better
• avoiding punishment
• creating justifications

Someone who lies compulsively or pathologically will lie very often and out of habit, despite not having a good reason for being dishonest.

They may be dishonest about many things, including seemingly unimportant things. It may bring them comfort and security to make things up. These levels of dishonesty can lead to dangerous situations and interfere with the well-being of friends and family.

The term “pathological lying” is often used interchangeably with “compulsive lying,” and there’s no clear clinical difference between the terms. The research suggests that compulsive lying falls under the broader definition of pathological lying, rather than being its own separate phenomenon.

Pathological lying was originally called “pseudologia phantastica,” a term coined by psychiatrist Anton Delbrück in 1891 to describe people who told so many outrageous lies that the behavior was considered to be caused by a mental health condition.

Pathological lying is when someone lies frequently such that it impairs their social, work, financial, or legal functioning. Those who lie pathologically may experience distress because of their lies, and they might have a fear of someone discovering their lies.

Pathological lies represent a trait rather than an impulse. The person may believe that they can’t control their lying behavior. This lying often occurs long-term and can pose a risk to the person and those around them.

Pathological lying is a sign of some mental health conditions, especially personality disorders.

People with certain conditions — including narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder — tend to act in manipulative or deceitful ways regardless of the consequences and upset it might cause.

Lying can be a symptom of some mental health conditions according to a 2021 review, including borderline personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder.

People with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) may lie to mask compulsions or stop friends and family from worrying about their behaviors. They might think their friends and loved ones won’t understand, so they aren’t always honest about their experiences.

Those with other mental health conditions may lie to cover up their symptoms or habits, such as people with substance use disorder or impulse control disorders. They may develop elaborate lies to mask their symptoms, particularly when the symptoms are stigmatized in society.

It is important to note that while lying can be a symptom of mental health disorders, it isn’t always the case. Additionally, when lying is associated with conditions, it’s not always pathological. More research is needed in this area to determine the association.

Research indicates pathological lying can occur because of low self-esteem and a false sense of self. People who lie pathologically may want others to view them positively, making things up to make them look better. Their desire to create a false sense of self could indicate that they are unhappy with themselves.

It’s not always easy to tell if someone lies, so you can’t always count on warning signs to enlighten you. Experts have researched the situation, hoping to determine if perceived signs of lying are accurate.

Researchers observed and performed studies to determine if specific signs indicate someone is lying. They looked into things like:

• hesitations
• speech disturbances
• changes in voice pitch or speed
• filling natural pauses

Their results proved inconclusive, as they showed that it wasn’t possible to accurately confirm the signs of lying. Without further research, assessing behavior this way isn’t a good idea. It could lead to misinterpretation, potentially harming the relationship.

If you live with compulsive or pathological lying habits or know someone who does, it can help to talk with a professional.

If a mental health condition contributes to lying, mental health support will help with other parts of life, too. These conditions affect a person’s well-being, so being diagnosed and starting treatment is important.

Looking for a therapist, but not sure where to start? Psych Central’s How to Find Mental Health Support resource can help.

Pathological liars: what makes them lie?

172,776

Man among menKnow thyselfPractices how to dy? Hardly, like 99. 99% of the people in the world. Anyone who claims that he has never lied is clearly disingenuous. However, most can honestly say that they are at least trying not to cheat.

But there is a special category of people for whom lying is a way of life. It is easier for pathological and compulsive liars to make up three boxes than to tell the truth. Why do they do it and how to crack them?

Pseudology fantasy

Pathological lie, mythomania or Pseudologia Fantastica, causes a lot of controversy among psychologists and psychiatrists. Some believe that this is only a symptom of a more complex disorder (for example, borderline personality disorder, sociopathy or narcissism), others are convinced that this is a deviation in itself.

It has been suggested that this is a special form of addiction: a person cheats under the influence of a psychological impulse, like an alcoholic, a smoker or a gambler, in response to specific triggers. However, the fact remains that some people lie all the time.

Their deceit can be called chronic, since it is observed throughout life, or habitual in the sense that it becomes second nature

People of this type always act under the influence of internal motivation, and not external factors. In other words, they lie not so much to avoid the unpleasant consequences of the truth, but for the sake of “sporting interest.”

Pathological liars are not so easy to recognize, especially on a superficial acquaintance or at the beginning of a relationship. They may seem interesting, intelligent, sociable, charming. Their true face is revealed only with time, and then communication becomes strained. Lying endlessly can destroy friendships, loves, work relationships, and even families.

Pathological and compulsive lying: what is the difference?

Two types of lies have their own characteristics. How do you know who you are dealing with?

Pathological liars:

• lie with a specific purpose,

• invent fantastic stories that can be endlessly supplemented with new details,

• themselves believe everything that is on weaving,

• indignant when they are suspected in deceit,

• lie to strengthen their authority,

• do not blush or feel embarrassed.

Compulsive liars:

• seriously believe that they are obliged to lie: either because they do not know how otherwise, or if it is inconvenient to tell the truth,

• often lie for no clear reason and without any benefits,

• make up fables on the go without really thinking about credibility,

• prefer “holy” lies, which they think others would like to hear,

• tend to feel someone else’s distrust,

• when they are caught, they confess that they are lying, but continue to fool others.

These differences are very conditional, because deceivers easily change masks.

Photo

Shutterstock/Fotodom.ru

What caused this behavior?

There is no clear scientific explanation for the tendency to communicate deliberately false information. This behavior is due to many genetic and environmental factors, but this set is unique for everyone. Here are the most common reasons.

1. Personality disorders

As mentioned above, lying at every turn can be a symptom of a mental disorder.

2. Features of the brain

A number of studies point to structural abnormalities in the brains of pathological liars. One such study revealed increased white matter volume in three regions of the prefrontal cortex.

Other authors believe that a persistent tendency to lie is formed as the restraining emotional reaction of the amygdala weakens. Earlier studies found that 40% of pathological liars had damage to the central nervous system caused by epilepsy, head trauma, or dangerous infections.

3. The costs of education

In childhood, we all learn what is good and what is bad. At an early age, a person may lie out of fear of punishment or for profit, and later this becomes an unconditional attitude.

4. Chemical addiction

Drug addicts and alcoholics often use cunning to hide their problem and at the same time swindle money: addictions “turn off” conscience.

5. Other psychological problems

A person who lies frequently may suffer from depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Such behavior may be associated with fear, guilt or shame, unwillingness to admit their condition. It is important to understand that not every person with such a diagnosis is a pathological deceiver!

Photo

Shutterstock/Fotodom.ru

Signs of pathological and compulsive lying

.

1. The stories of the liars are absolutely unbelievable

If you find yourself shaking your head often, refusing to believe the fables, it seems that you have come across just such a person. Someone tells how they dined with Tom Cruise or set a world record for eating sausages? You are not mistaken.

2. There is a desire to get attention

If someone lies to gain interest, and goes out of his way to prove his own worth, you are a pathological liar. They practice two ways to attract attention: Instead of admitting their mistake or honestly saying that they are in trouble, such people are talking nonsense, just to look sinless.

3. Liars have low self-esteem

By itself, it does not indicate pathological or compulsive lying, but in combination with other signs, it completes the portrait of a shameless deceiver. Usually low self-esteem is found in compulsive liars: it hides anxiety and insecurity.

4. They should have the last word

Arguing with a pathological liar is like banging your head against a wall. He will give the most ridiculous arguments until you get tired of arguing, just to get out of the fight as a winner. Compulsive liars are easier: they are embarrassed when they are exposed and do not insist on their own.

5. They are extremely resourceful

They manage to invent plausible versions for all occasions with lightning speed, create suitable lies literally out of thin air and present them in a convincing form.

6. They know how to turn everything upside down

If liars feel that they are close to failure, they immediately back up and change the meaning of what was said. But it is useless to catch them at their word: they will object and say that you misheard or misunderstood.

7. Their life is chaotic and full of tragedies

They get out as best they can, trying to seem honest, but sooner or later people realize that something is wrong here. Relationships crumble, another job is lost, friends turn away, but the pathological liar is still rushing about in search of simpletons who can be hung noodles on their ears.

8. They do not know how to keep secrets and love to gossip

They are not familiar with the concept of decency: they enthusiastically discuss the details of someone else’s life, including intimate ones. Nothing is sacred to them.

Photo

Shutterstock/Fotodom.ru

How to behave with them

It would seem that there is nowhere clearer – to stop communicating and delete from life. But it’s not always easy, and it’s not always necessary. Not all deceivers are notorious crooks.

If you are convinced that you have encountered a narcissist or a sociopath, then there is no question: stay away from him, and do not let your conscience torment you. But if someone close to you has serious psychological problems or addiction, you probably shouldn’t say goodbye to them. What to do?

1. To believe… if necessary

To look for a lie in every word is more expensive for yourself. Yes, a person often lies, but still able to be honest. He may be exaggerating, but he’s basically telling the truth. At the very least, try to figure out when to trust him and when not.

Do you remember slippery topics, during the discussion of which you often caught your interlocutor in a lie? Or periods of exacerbation, when the propensity to lie became too obvious?

A healthy skepticism doesn’t hurt, but if you’re not completely sure that everything you’ve said is a complete lie, why not assume that you’re being told the truth? Of course, this does not apply to important issues: here you need to check everything.

A modicum of trust is needed: when a person knows that he will be accused of deceit anyway, why should he be honest? Those who are trusted are more likely to reveal the truth, especially if the lie is associated with guilt or shame.

2. Understand why they lie

We feel bitter when we are deceived, and this is a natural emotional reaction. Critical thinking can help you deal with it. Think: why does a person lie? What drives them? What is the reason?

If you can figure out the motives, a little bit of sympathy will surely appear. Your emotions may not subside immediately, but sooner or later you will calm down and be able to take a sober look at the situation.

3. Accept it as a fact: lies will be repeated more than once

Pathological or compulsive liars do not always control their speech. Therefore, it is wiser to admit that they are like that and you have to live with it somehow. This does not mean forcing yourself to believe tall tales or accepting their behavior as the norm. The main thing is to realize that not every lie is said with malicious intent.

They can’t help but lie. At least not now, given certain circumstances. Of course, no one forbids fighting this, but you yourself will not change anything. Try to look at it philosophically and not take it to heart.

4. Convince them to ask for help

If the interlocutor has developed a tendency to lie relatively recently, you can guess what the matter is (depression, addiction in the initial stage, childhood psychotrauma) and the person is dear to you, try to persuade him to see a psychotherapist.

People who constantly lie are not easy. And yet, do not rush to write them down as scoundrels or malicious manipulators. There are many causes for pathological or compulsive lying, and although this habit harms both those who are lied to and those who lie, it is treatable.

Daniel Levitin “Guide to Lies”

This book will help you recognize lies and process any information critically. From it you will learn how to critically evaluate news, advertising, reports; it is easy to be persuasive by telling stories that subtly deviate from the facts – and how to recognize such stories; work with graphs and recognize data manipulation using visual means; determine who is behind the expertise, words, website, information.

Advertising. www.mann-ivanov-ferber.ru

Text: Natalya Spiridonova Photo source: Shutterstock

New on the site

“A nephew died, and his wife came to the funeral with a new man — a friend of the deceased”

“Tired of enduring people. Is it possible to find a normal job without them?”

How to recognize toxic friends: 5 signs

“I’ve never had an orgasm”: why this happens, a sexologist explains

“I can’t get rid of the fear of death, although everything is fine with my health”

Why women are still afraid of mammography: 3 main fears

Recognize and neutralize : how to communicate with pathological liars

Probably everyone in life had to deal with people who tell lies. Some of them could even take part in the “Deceiver of the Year” contest, because they lie so professionally that sometimes it is impossible to distinguish truth from fiction, and the meaning and purpose of their lies are not always clear. People who confuse reality with fiction and cannot help but lie are commonly called pathological liars – together with psychologist Tatyana Vlasevskaya, we figure out why they do this and how to respond to such behavior.

Psychotherapists and psychiatrists still argue about whether pathological lying is an independent mental disorder or a symptom of another disease, such as narcissism, sociopathy, or borderline personality disorder. There is an opinion that pathological lies are one of the variants of addiction, like, for example, alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction. Such a person simply cannot lie. For him, lying is a bad habit that he cannot and does not want to get rid of. And habit, as you know, is second nature.

Moreover, it is difficult to recognize a chronic liar at the first meeting. As a rule, rather sociable and charming people have a greater tendency to tell a lie, so the craving for constant lies is revealed over time, when comparing facts and having a lot of communication experience. The problem is that pathological lying leads to a lack of trust and eventually destroys any relationship.

It must be understood that there are two types of liars: pathological and compulsive. Pathological usually lie always and with a specific purpose, and sometimes they themselves believe what they have invented. They are very indignant if they are caught in a lie, but they do not feel shame. Compulsive liars lie because they can’t tell the truth for one reason or another, and sometimes they lie for no reason at all. They know very well that they are not trusted, so they often confess to their deeds, but continue to behave the same way, not being able to stop.

Naturally, there are a huge number of psychological problems behind such behavior: the costs of education, various personality disorders (the same narcissism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression), addictions (alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling) ( read also : All under control: how to know if you have obsessive-compulsive disorder). It follows from this that not every liar you meet on the path of life is pathological and needs competent therapy from specialists.

Usually pathological liars are quite quirky personalities. Often they lie out of a banal desire to draw attention to their person, to increase their value in the eyes of others. With all this, they are characterized by the role of the victim, because they need sympathy and support. They, as a rule, have low self-esteem, there are various phobias, anxiety, self-doubt.

How to deal with a pathological liar? Of course, ideally, if you understand that a person has lied to you more than once, then it is better not to communicate with him or keep communication to a minimum. Especially when there are serious addictions in the anamnesis (besides lies) – you need to stay away from such a person. A separate caste of pathological liars is made up of sociopaths and personalities prone to narcissism, relationships with which will be toxic and difficult for an adequate person.

In all other cases, healthy skepticism and acceptance of this deficiency in a person helps. In some cases, you can take the side of a liar and even understand what motivated him when he composed another lie – perhaps he simply did not want to upset you or wanted to show himself in a more favorable light.