What causes PMS anger. How to recognize if PMS anger is a problem. What are effective strategies for managing PMS-related anger. How to apologize for PMS-induced outbursts. When to seek professional help for PMS anger.

The Hormonal Rollercoaster: Understanding PMS and Its Impact on Mood

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) affects a significant portion of menstruating individuals, with anger being one of its most prevalent symptoms. To better understand this phenomenon, we need to delve into the hormonal changes that occur during the menstrual cycle.

During ovulation, estrogen and progesterone levels drop, triggering PMS by influencing serotonin production. Serotonin, a neurotransmitter responsible for regulating mood and sleep, can become depleted, leading to feelings of irritability and anger.

The Prevalence of PMS Anger

A study utilizing the State-Trait Anger Scale (STAS) found that PMS prevalence was 48.75% among participants. Interestingly, the research revealed that ‘Anger Control’ – the ability to manage anger effectively – was significantly lower in individuals experiencing PMS.

Recognizing the Signs: Is Your PMS Anger More Than Just Mood Swings?

While occasional bouts of irritability are normal during PMS, persistent or extreme anger may indicate a more serious condition. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is considered a severe form of PMS, affecting up to 8% of menstruating individuals.

PMDD symptoms include:

• Intense mood swings
• Overwhelming irritability
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Severe anxiety
• Difficulty concentrating
• Physical symptoms such as bloating and breast tenderness

In extreme cases, PMDD has been linked to outbursts of violence, aggression, and antisocial behaviors. If you suspect you may have PMDD, it’s crucial to consult with a healthcare professional for proper diagnosis and treatment.

The Fine Line: When Does PMS Anger Become Problematic?

Anger is a natural human emotion, and expressing it can be healthy when done appropriately. However, it’s essential to recognize when PMS-related anger crosses the line from a normal reaction to a problematic behavior.

Signs Your PMS Anger May Be a Problem:

• Frequent outbursts that disrupt daily life
• Difficulty controlling anger in various situations
• Anger that leads to physical or verbal aggression
• Persistent feelings of rage that don’t subside
• Negative impact on relationships, work, or social life

If you find that your anger is more than an occasional grievance and is not serving a purpose, it may be time to address the issue and seek support.

Taming the Beast: Effective Strategies for Managing PMS Anger

Managing PMS-related anger often involves a multifaceted approach. Here are some practical strategies to help you cope with and reduce anger during your menstrual cycle:

1. Track Your Emotions

Keeping a mood journal can help you identify patterns in your emotional fluctuations. This information can be valuable for predicting mood changes and explaining your symptoms to healthcare providers.

2. Consider Hormonal Birth Control

Some types of birth control can help balance hormones and alleviate PMS symptoms, including anger. Discuss this option with your healthcare provider to determine if it’s suitable for you.

3. Avoid Triggers

Identify and avoid substances or situations that may exacerbate your anger. This might include reducing alcohol consumption or steering clear of stressful environments during your premenstrual phase.

4. Embrace Lifestyle Changes

Incorporating regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, and ensuring adequate sleep can significantly impact your mood and overall well-being.

5. Practice Stress Management Techniques

Explore stress-reduction methods such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises. These techniques can be particularly helpful in managing anger in various situations.

6. Consider Herbal Supplements

Some individuals find relief from PMS symptoms through natural supplements. For example, ashwagandha and vitamin B6 have been shown to help regulate mood changes. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new supplement regimen.

The Aftermath: Navigating Apologies and Rebuilding Trust After PMS-Induced Outbursts

Despite our best efforts, there may be times when PMS-related anger gets the better of us. Learning how to apologize effectively and take responsibility for our actions is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.

Tips for Apologizing After a PMS-Induced Outburst:

1. Acknowledge your behavior without making excuses
2. Express genuine remorse for your actions
3. Take responsibility for the impact of your words or actions
4. Explain that you’re working on managing your PMS symptoms
5. Ask how you can make amends or repair any damage caused
6. Commit to improving your anger management strategies

Remember, while PMS can contribute to mood changes, it’s essential not to use it as a blanket excuse for harmful behavior. Taking responsibility for your actions and actively working to improve your anger management skills will help foster understanding and support from those around you.

Beyond Self-Help: When to Seek Professional Support for PMS Anger

While many individuals can manage PMS-related anger through self-help strategies, there are instances where professional support may be necessary. Consider seeking help from a mental health professional or healthcare provider if:

• Your anger significantly impacts your daily life or relationships
• You’re struggling to control your anger despite trying various coping strategies
• You suspect you may have PMDD or another underlying mental health condition
• Your anger leads to thoughts of self-harm or harming others
• You’re experiencing severe depression or anxiety alongside your anger

A mental health professional can help you develop personalized coping strategies, explore potential underlying issues, and provide support in managing your emotions effectively.

Breaking the Stigma: Fostering Understanding and Support for PMS-Related Anger

Historically, women’s anger has often been dismissed or stigmatized, particularly when associated with menstruation. However, it’s crucial to recognize that anger is a valid emotion and that PMS-related mood changes are real physiological experiences.

Ways to Promote Understanding and Support:

• Educate friends, family, and colleagues about PMS and its potential impact on mood
• Encourage open conversations about menstrual health and emotional well-being
• Challenge stereotypes and misconceptions about PMS-related anger
• Advocate for workplace policies that support individuals experiencing severe PMS symptoms
• Share personal experiences to help others feel less alone in their struggles

By fostering a more supportive and understanding environment, we can help reduce the stigma surrounding PMS-related anger and empower individuals to seek help and support when needed.

The Role of Diet and Nutrition in Managing PMS-Related Mood Swings

While lifestyle changes and stress management techniques play a significant role in managing PMS-related anger, the impact of diet and nutrition should not be overlooked. Certain dietary choices can help alleviate symptoms and promote overall emotional well-being during the premenstrual phase.

Nutrients That May Help Reduce PMS Symptoms:

• Calcium: Found in dairy products, leafy greens, and fortified foods
• Magnesium: Present in nuts, seeds, whole grains, and dark chocolate
• Vitamin B6: Found in poultry, fish, potatoes, and non-citrus fruits
• Omega-3 fatty acids: Present in fatty fish, flaxseeds, and walnuts
• Complex carbohydrates: Found in whole grains, fruits, and vegetables

Incorporating these nutrients into your diet may help stabilize mood and reduce the intensity of PMS-related anger. Additionally, staying hydrated and limiting caffeine and alcohol intake can contribute to better emotional regulation during this time.

The Gut-Brain Connection

Emerging research suggests a strong link between gut health and mood regulation. Probiotics and prebiotics may play a role in supporting emotional well-being during the menstrual cycle. Consider incorporating fermented foods like yogurt, kefir, and sauerkraut into your diet to promote a healthy gut microbiome.

Harnessing the Power of Physical Activity to Combat PMS Anger

Regular exercise is well-known for its mood-boosting effects, and it can be particularly beneficial for managing PMS-related anger. Physical activity promotes the release of endorphins, natural mood elevators that can help counteract feelings of irritability and frustration.

Effective Exercises for Managing PMS Anger:

1. Aerobic activities: Jogging, cycling, or dancing can help release tension and improve mood
2. Yoga: Combines physical movement with mindfulness, promoting relaxation and emotional balance
3. Strength training: Can boost self-esteem and provide a healthy outlet for frustration
4. Team sports: Offer social interaction and a sense of community, which can be mood-lifting
5. Nature walks: Combine gentle exercise with the calming effects of being outdoors

Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week, paying special attention to your physical activity levels during the premenstrual phase. Remember to listen to your body and choose activities that feel enjoyable and manageable, especially if you’re experiencing physical PMS symptoms.

The Power of Mindfulness and Meditation in Anger Management

Mindfulness and meditation practices can be powerful tools for managing PMS-related anger. These techniques help increase self-awareness, reduce stress, and promote emotional regulation.

Mindfulness Techniques for Anger Management:

• Body scan meditation: Helps identify physical tension associated with anger
• Loving-kindness meditation: Promotes self-compassion and empathy
• Breath awareness: Aids in calming the nervous system during moments of anger
• Mindful observation: Encourages non-judgmental awareness of thoughts and emotions
• Progressive muscle relaxation: Reduces physical tension often associated with anger

Incorporating these practices into your daily routine, especially during the premenstrual phase, can help you develop greater emotional resilience and better manage anger when it arises.

Apps and Resources for Mindfulness Practice

Several smartphone apps and online resources offer guided meditations and mindfulness exercises specifically tailored for managing PMS symptoms and anger. Some popular options include Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer. Exploring these tools can provide additional support in your journey to manage PMS-related anger effectively.

Seeing Red? How To Control PMS Anger

What’s happening to my hormones during PMS?

Why do I feel angry?

Could my PMS anger be something else?

How do I know if my PMS anger is a problem?

What can I do to relieve feelings of PMS anger?

How do I apologise for an angry PMS outburst? 

Should I see a counsellor about PMS anger?

There’s a reason it’s called premenstrual stress, but sometimes your PMS shows up as premenstrual rage (not a real term, we totally made that up…). If you find yourself throwing tantrums on the regular, anger might be the main emotion that shows up for you during menstruation. Here’s why it happens, what could be to blame, and how to handle those dreaded hissy fits…

What’s happening to my hormones during PMS?

PMS is typically experienced in the days or weeks before your period. As well as the physical symptoms, like tiredness, cramps, headaches and acne, you may experience emotional symptoms like anxiety, mood swings, and anger.  

PMS is linked to fluctuating hormones, and during ovulation, estrogen and progesterone levels drop and trigger PMS by influencing serotonin. Serotonin helps regulate your mood and sleep, so low levels can lead to feelings of anger. 

Why do I feel angry?

Not everyone feels PMS anger, but it’s one of the most common symptoms – you are not alone in dealing with it. In fact, it’s so prevalent that one study researched it in accordance with the State–Trait Anger Scale (STAS). This scale helps determine “the manner of anger expression”, and the options range from ‘never’ to ‘very’, consisting of the subscales:

• ‘Constant Anger’ – A high level of anger
• ‘Anger-in’ – Suppressed anger
• ‘Anger-out’ – Anger control issues
• ‘Anger Control’ – Anger can be controlled

In the study, PMS prevalence was 48.75%, and researchers found ‘Anger Control’ (the ability to control anger) was at a significantly lower level among participants. 

Could my PMS anger be something else?

If your anger is more than a passing frustration, you may wish to look into premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). PMDD is thought of as a severe form of PMS, with similar physical and emotional symptoms, but with more extreme mood shifts. Psychological symptoms of PMDD include irritability, lack of control, anger, sensitivity and more. 

PMDD can affect up to 8% of people with periods, and in extreme cases has been linked to outbursts of violence, aggression, and antisocial activities. If you think you may have PMDD, speak to your doctor about treating your symptoms. 

How do I know if my PMS anger is a problem?

Anger is a normal human emotion and one we all feel from time to time. Historically, women have been made to feel that expressing anger is somehow wrong, but it’s actually healthy. As long as you are not hurting anyone, you can express anger in whatever way you see fit. However, if your anger is more than an occasional grievance, it’s not serving a purpose and should be addressed. 

What can I do to relieve feelings of PMS anger?

Managing symptoms of PMS anger often starts with staying away from triggering situations or stressful events. It’s not always possible to avoid these, especially if they take place at work or with family, so here are some practical things to help: 

• Track emotions: You may see patterns that help validate that hormones are at play, predict mood changes, and allow you to explain symptoms clearly to your GP.
• Hormonal birth control: Some types of birth control can balance hormones to relieve symptoms. This won’t work for everyone, but it may take the edge off your anger. 
• Avoid triggers: If you think alcohol or other substances may be contributing to PMS anger, try cutting these out to see if you notice an improvement in your mood. 
• Lifestyle changes: If you’d prefer a more natural method, make regular exercise part of your routine, eat nutritious foods, and get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. 
• Manage stress: Stress management tools like meditation, yoga and breathwork can help, and can be used in many situations. If anger is always directed at the same person or situation, therapy can help as a way to voice emotions in a safe place.  
• Herbal supplements: Another natural alternative is to up your supplement game. Yoppie’s Mood Food is designed to regulate mood changes and uses the likes of ashwagandha and vitamin B6 to help calm and balance your mood. 

How do I apologise for an angry PMS outburst? 

So your anger fizzed up at the wrong moment, and you’re feeling guilty about it? We’ve all been there, don’t worry. Firstly, you don’t have to apologise for getting emotional or having a menstrual cycle – this is normal and should never be used to dismiss your feelings. 

However, learning to take responsibility for anger that, in hindsight, you know could be harmful to others, will ensure people you love and interact with daily understand you are trying to improve this symptom. No one wants to be treated like a land mine about to explode, but it may help if people better understand your triggers and boundaries. 

Apologise by acknowledging you were wrong, discuss the cause, say you are sorry for how you handled it, and in future, communicate feelings in a constructive way. If you find yourself apologising frequently, it may be time to address the root cause using the above tips. 

Should I see a counsellor about PMS anger?

If PMS anger is a regular occurrence and negatively affects your life, you can speak to someone about it. There are options like talking therapy, anger management programmes, and even help for violent behaviour. You can find more information and resources on the Mind.org.uk website. 

Do you experience PMS anger? You can discuss your personal symptoms in our private Full Stop FB group, or ask any questions you may have by DM’ing us on Instagram at @itsyoppie. We’re always happy to hear from you! Don’t forget that our personalised menstrual care subscription can get organic tampons, PMS supplements and much more delivered easily and regularly through your letterbox, so that’s one pretty darn big load off your mind.

How To Combat Angry Emotions On Your Period
– Mixhers

Do you ever ask yourself, “Why am I so emotional on my period?” Learn more about the hormones behind your emotions and how to control your PMS anger.  

Emotions help make life interesting. Whether we’re feeling happy, sad, excited, or angry, emotions help remind us that we’re alive. That doesn’t mean that all emotions are pleasant or welcome at all times. For some of us, they become particularly hard to control when we’re approaching our menstrual period. A week or two before our period starts, we may experience mood changes that include irritation and anger. 

Here’s what you should know about the hormones behind your PMS mood swings and why they cause mood symptoms right before and during menstrual bleeding. We’ve also provided you with some tips for how to control PMS anger. 

Do Most Women Feel Cranky on Their Period?

You’d be hard-pressed to find any woman who enjoys the way she feels when she’s on her period. Premenstrual exacerbation is a real thing and can cause women to feel more annoyed than usual right before and during menstruation. 

While the common symptoms associated with the menstrual cycle can be annoying, some women experience them more intensely than others. Women with moderate to severe premenstrual syndrome often experience severe symptoms that women without PMS don’t experience. PMS symptoms include physical symptoms such as breast tenderness and abdominal cramping, as well as emotional symptoms such as depression, irritation, and mood swings. 

It makes sense that all of these undesirable symptoms can cause even the calmest woman to experience psychological symptoms that impact her mental health for one to two weeks out of the month. So try not to come down too hard on yourself if your usual sunny disposition is replaced by feelings of depression and irritation during menstruation. 

What Causes Anger on Your Period? 

There is a stereotype that suggests PMS symptoms cause women to become sad and weepy during menstruation, but the opposite is true for many of us. Some of us would like nothing better than to punch something (or someone) during the Shark Week portion of our menstrual cycle. Increased anger and irritability can typically be explained by the hormonal changes our bodies go through as we approach menstruation.  

Feeling anger during period may not be unusual, but it’s still not desirable. When you experience noticeable mood swings during specific portions of your menstrual cycle, it could be an indication that your hormone levels are not optimally balanced. Though it’s normal for hormonal changes to occur at certain points of your cycle, your hormones should still remain balanced throughout those changes. Hormone imbalances are closely tied to declining mental health. 

When one of your hormones (typically estrogen or progesterone) drops too low or rises too high, you can experience mild to severe premenstrual symptoms as a result. Most people think of breast tenderness, bloating, and other physical symptoms when they think of premenstrual syndrome. But mood swings, depression, and irritability are also common symptoms associated with premenstrual disorders.  

Estrogen and progesterone aren’t the only hormones involved in premenstrual syndrome mood regulation. Low serotonin levels have also been linked to PMS symptoms. Serotonin is a natural mood booster. When estrogen and progesterone levels drop around the time of ovulation, serotonin may also drop in some women. This drop in the body’s “feel-good hormone” could explain why some of us ladies are so prone to mood swings around the time of menstruation.  

How Can I Be Less Angry on My Period?

Are you tired of scaring off all your friends and family members because of your premenstrual syndrome mood swings? We’ve got your back. Here are some tips and lifestyle changes for minimizing premenstrual syndrome mood swings and taking better care of your mental health. 

• Try herbal supplements. Some herbs (such as lavender) are known to induce feelings of calmness, while others (such as dong quai) can help balance hormones to reduce mood swings and other symptoms of premenstrual syndrome. Many different herbal supplements can potentially help you get through your period without severe symptoms, but Hertime is one of the best. It’s a natural treatment for PMS that is formulated with dong quai, Siberian ginseng, white peony, and other herbs that can help you feel less irritated and more relaxed during your period. 

• Try magnesium: Some research shows that low levels of magnesium are linked to mood swings. Try taking a magnesium supplement during the second half of your cycle to avoid irritation and anger associated with premenstrual syndrome. 

• Change your diet: The foods you eat can impact how you feel throughout the month. For optimal womens health, try to limit sugary and processed “garbage” foods and eat more whole foods. The more nutritious your diet is, the better your mental and physical health tends to be. 

• Exercise daily: Even a few minutes of exercise can help boost oxygen throughout your body and increase your serotonin levels. Exercise can not only improve your general mood, but it may also help minimize symptoms of mental disorders such as bipolar disorder and severe depression.  

• Consider getting off of birth control: Many women take birth control to prevent pregnancy or treat severe period symptoms. But the birth control pill can actually make hormone imbalances worse and lead to even more severe premenstrual symptoms. If you think birth control may be responsible for your worsening mood swings, talk to your doctor about other contraception options. 

• Get more sleep: Anyone can easily get cranky after a night of poor sleep. When you’re already uncomfortable due to premenstrual symptoms, insufficient sleep can compound the effects of your negative mood. During your period, try to get more sleep than usual to keep your mood swings in check.

What Is PMDD?

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (or PMDD) is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome. It’s kind of like premenstrual syndrome on steroids. Women with PMDD experience many of the same physical and psychological symptoms as women with premenstrual syndrome, but on a more severe scale.  

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is not very common, but if you are a woman with PMDD symptoms, your quality of life is most likely severely impacted. According to the Mayo Clinic, premenstrual dysphoric disorder can cause extreme mood swings that can damage relationships and become potentially disabling. 

In addition to mood disorder symptoms, PMDD also causes intense physical discomfort and pain. Symptoms usually begin up to 10 days before the start of your period and may continue through the first few days of bleeding. 

If you experience severe mood swings or have thoughts of hurting yourself, please see your primary care physician or a specialist as soon as possible. Your doctor may prescribe potentially life-saving medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors for your condition. SSRIs are the most commonly prescribed antidepressants. They work by increasing serotonin levels in the brain.

If you’re looking for a PMDD natural treatment, try the following:

• Eat smaller meals more frequently to avoid stomach upset and bloating
• Avoid caffeine during the second half of your cycle
• Eat plenty of vegetables and fruits
• Stay hydrated
• Give acupuncture a try
• Take a warm bath with essential oils or Epsom salts
• Try meditation
• Take hormone-balancing supplements

Many women have a lot of success with these natural remedies. In addition to helping you manage PMDD, the tips above could also help you with handling PMS anger.  

How Can I Experience Healthy Emotions During My Period?

Want more tips for experiencing healthy emotions during your period? Head over to Mixhers resources and check out our articles on balancing hormones and improving mental health through lifestyle changes and supplementation.   

Not sure which drink is right for you?

Get matched with products designed for your unique wellness goals.

Take the quiz

Stages of accepting the inevitable: what are they and how to survive them

. And how to help them survive a loved one. Psychologists advise

Updated November 16, 2022, 10:53

Shutterstock

Each person copes with difficult circumstances in their own way. One way to get through a difficult life period is to go through all the stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, according to psychologists, in practice this model is not so unambiguous. There is no single recipe. But there are ways to help yourself and loved ones during this difficult time. RBC Life talked to psychologists and found out the details.

Contents

1. How We Accept the Inevitable
2. The Stages of Acceptance
3. 5 Tips
4. How to Help a Loved One

How We Accept the Inevitable

Shutterstock

The inevitable is unforeseen events of varying degrees of drama: illness, separation, layoffs, accidents, death of relatives and friends. During a lifetime, a person can experience such difficult situations several times – and not always the range of emotions will be the same. For example, while one will hide his head in the sand and refuse to make any decisions, the other may completely evade reality – there are many scenarios. Be that as it may, psychologists are unanimous: all these reactions are normal, since in a similar way the human psyche is looking for ways to protect itself and save itself.

One way to get through a difficult situation is to accept it. From an emotional point of view, this does not at all mean “to approve or support what happened.”

Acceptance is the recognition of a new objective reality as it is. To be at this point, a person needs time – for everyone it is different.

In psychology, there are at least ten models that describe the process of acceptance. Here are some of the more common examples.

• Sigmund Freud’s theory of grief. The psychoanalyst saw the acceptance process as follows: breaking the connection, adjusting to new life circumstances and building new relationships [1].
• Stages of acceptance by Kübler-Ross . The most well-known theory of the five stages of acceptance is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Often this model is perceived as linear, that is, a person sequentially goes through each of the stages. But Kübler-Ross herself noted that this is not her statement and that each individual stage may manifest itself in different ways or be completely absent [2].
• Model of two processes Strebe and Schut. An example of a cyclic model in which a person seems to fluctuate between two states: recognizing the loss and experiencing pain, moving away from emotions and resolving practical issues caused by what is lost. These two processes are cyclically repeated, gradually healing the person [3].
• Six R Teresa Rando. Named after the first letter of each stage: Recognize, React to the separation, Recollect and re-experience, Relinquish old attachments, Readjust ) and reinvestment of emotional energy, the beginning of a new life (Reinvest) [4].
• Scott and Japhy Curve . In this model, experiences occur along a U-shaped trajectory. The high point at the beginning is characterized by almost manic denial, shock and anger, the low point by despair and depression, the high point at the end of the curve is a recovery of energy and morale. This approach is predominantly focused on accepting events before they happen. For example, an impending dismissal or something else that does not depend on us [5].

5 stages of acceptance

Shutterstock

Psychologists agree that it is often easier for the psyche of a person faced with severe grief or something inevitable to accept and experience something structured. “In modern practices, the Kubler-Ross stage model continues to be applied,” says Luiza Istomina, a medical psychologist at the European Medical Center. – It is used as a kind of support, helping to understand the principle of processes that replace each other. However, there is not enough empirical evidence to support or refute it. But, if it’s easier for you to accept what happened, you can focus on these stages. ”

1. Negation

A person unconsciously rejects events and begins to doubt them. For example, the laboratory mixed up the tests that confirmed a fatal illness, or the death of a loved one was reported by mistake.

Luiza IstominaMedical psychologist at the European Medical Center

“This state can last from a few seconds to several weeks, on average, by the seventh or ninth day, gradually changing to another. At this time, it is more important than ever to maintain your usual lifestyle: adhere to the sleep and wakefulness regimen, monitor nutrition, devote time to physical activity, and follow a daily routine. You can make a list of activities and activities that help relieve psycho-emotional stress: knitting, drawing, listening to music. It will be useful to use Mindfulness awareness techniques, since at the stage of denial a person may experience a feeling of detachment from the world, stupor, insensitivity.

As soon as the denial and shock begin to fade, feelings that the person has previously suppressed come out.

2. Anger

Anger and anger at the moment of grief or a disturbing event is a natural reaction. Even if it seems that anger and anger are endless, these emotions will still dissipate – and the more you truly feel them, the faster this will happen [6]. At this stage, a person may have thoughts like “why me and not someone else?” or “life isn’t fair.” Redirecting anger to others is dysfunctional behavior.

At this stage, as psychologists note, physical activity and sports will be especially useful. For example, Luiza Istomina recommends trying muscle relaxation techniques – Schulz’s autogenic training or Ost’s applied relaxation.

3. Bargaining

When something bad happens, a person can start an internal bargaining, promising to change something in himself and his life in order to improve the situation. Also at this stage, reasoning can torment, for example: “If I had left the house five minutes earlier, the accident would not have happened.”

Shutterstock

To make it easier to pass this stage, it is useful to know about one non-obvious phenomenon. It turns out that it is easier for the psyche to accept the fact that a person is to blame and he could change something. This is a kind of trick of the psyche in response to a shock event. And this is worth remembering. In reality, such an attempt to bargain with oneself is nothing more than distortion and false hope.

To understand that what happened is not your fault, try to understand the reasons for what happened. If it is a disease, study it in more detail. Having read the necessary literature and received the necessary information, one can come to the conclusion that it was simply impossible to influence the course of treatment and its outcome.

4. Depression

Depression is the emptiness that a person feels when realizing that life will no longer be the same, for example, due to a sudden change in circumstances or loss. This is a phase of acute grief that lasts six to seven weeks from the onset of a tragic event. This is a period of despair and disorganization.

Luiza Istomina:

“At this step, separation begins, detachment from the object of loss, there is a gradual entry into reality, which will then allow you to combine the image of the lost, which remained in the past, with life in the present. At this stage, destructive and self-destructive coping strategies – dangerous behavior, the use of psychoactive substances, self-harm, the emergence of anti-vital and suicidal thoughts will be alarm bells. Support from loved ones and professional advice will help here. ”

5. Acceptance

At this point the emotions begin to stabilize as the person finally comes to terms with the fact that the new reality will now be different. In essence, we acknowledge the changes that have taken place. But this does not mean that a person evaluates them positively, just now you can live with it. To make it easier to move from depression to acceptance, you can try to learn constructive grief coping skills.

Luiza Istomina:

“Try writing down a negative automatic thought followed by cognitive restructuring (CBT approach). Example: “I can’t deal with this pain” is changed to “I have had suffering in my life, and I was able to cope with it, I need to give myself time.” Cognitive disconnection techniques (ACT-approach) can be applied. We track the depressive thought “My life will not be the same” and put it in a larger frame: “I have a thought that my life will not be the same. ”

The commit process may have some backtracking. It’s demotivating and can be intimidating. However, it is possible to find ways to deal with regression.

In order to experience regression, according to Albina Borisenko, a psychotherapist in the ORCT approach (solution-oriented short-term therapy), a specialist in the Alter psychological platform, one can turn to an example with a metaphor. To do this, it is necessary to imagine that the process of acceptance is a kind of path: a road, a path or a ladder.

Albina Borisenkopsychotherapist in the ORCT approach, specialist in the psychological platform Alter

“Standing at some point on this path, you can turn around and see how far you have already traveled. To regress is only to take a step or a few steps back along a path that has already been traveled. That is, to be where you already were. So, you already absolutely know exactly how to move on and what can help. It is somewhat reminiscent of a computer game, where the completed levels are clear and understandable, and going through them again is not so scary, despite the difficulties that we know about. That means you’re already on your way.”

5 tips for accepting the inevitable

Shutterstock

Each of us is individual, so the same advice for someone will be healing, and for someone – absolutely useless. But each of us can listen to ourselves and understand what will help here and now. Here is what experts [7], [8], [9] advise.

1. Allow yourself to be sad

Expression of emotions can be an important part of the acceptance process. Don’t judge yourself or compare yourself to others. Everyone mourns differently. If you suddenly feel like crying, give yourself that opportunity. There are many ways to express emotions: you can hit a punching bag or a ball for a healthy release of anger, or turn to creativity. For example, download a mobile application for music and art therapy. At the same time, write down all your feelings, experiences and thoughts in a diary. Over time, you will be able to see how your grief changes.

2. Ask for help

“Man is a social animal, and it is objectively difficult for us to survive without society,” says psychologist Borisenko. – Talking to a doctor, people in a support group, a relative or trusted friend can be a big help in a moment of grief. Don’t be afraid to ask others for help and support. No, you will not be intrusive and will not lay responsibility on someone: a person always has the right to refuse. At the same time, you can always make a request – this is normal and part of human communication.”

The same applies to offers of assistance. Do not rush to refuse if someone close to you decides to help you with house cleaning, grocery shopping or laundry. It won’t make you weaker.

3. Look after your health

Get regular exercise, eat as healthy as possible, and make sure you get enough sleep. Avoid excessive use of alcohol and other psychotropic substances. All this can not only contribute to the deterioration of mental health, but also directly affect your safety. For example, avoid self-driving and other potentially dangerous activities during times of intense emotion.

4.

Set small goals

Do not try to do everything at once – set small goals that are easy to achieve. “Make a list of different and most insignificant things: a cup of coffee in the morning, your favorite TV series or a walk in the park. Write down each item on how it helps the healing. Then, looking from the outside, you can see how much you do for yourself every day and how much more you can do,” says Albina Borisenko.

Also try to refrain from making major decisions, such as moving, for a while. But if this is inevitable, then, on the advice of a psychologist, the following technique will help.

Albina Borisenko:

“You shouldn’t think about moving as one big “I’m moving” action. This is too big a step and therefore frightening. “I’m moving” consists of a lot of tiny steps: “I weigh the pros and cons,” “I talk to my family,” “I look at the list of required documents,” and so on.

5. Stay Connected

Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays associated with a deceased person can cause a strong sense of grief. But do not completely cross out these days from your life. Celebrate a memorable date by lighting candles, meeting with family, or raising funds for charity. Simple rituals will maintain a sense of connection and emphasize that you continue to respect and appreciate the relationship that was. Keep a diary or write a letter to the person you have lost on an important date for both of you.

How to help a loved one accept the inevitable

Shutterstock

Some research suggests that the amount and quality of social support can affect the well-being of those who are grieving. The support of a loved one going through painful events can be critical to acceptance. But how to do it right? Here are some tips from experts [10].

1. Call a spade a spade

Do not be afraid, for example, to mention the name of a dead person or to talk about a situation the person is going through. This will avoid the unpleasant feeling that, for example, a loved one who has passed away is forever erased from memory. In such a situation, it is better to note that you will be bored than to say formally: “I’m sorry about the loss.”

2. Give practical help

Do not ask how you can help, but act. Cook dinner, buy groceries, clean the house of the person you want to help. For many people, such as those who have lost a spouse, getting used to planning and living alone can be a big challenge.

3. Avoid annoying phrases

If you ask a grieving person how things are going, the answer is obviously “Bad.” Instead, you can ask, “How are you feeling today?” Also, on the advice of experts, for some time it is better to refrain from the phrases “this is the will of God / the Universe / life” or “this is for the best”, until the person who has lost loved ones says it first.

4. Be a good listener

Listen carefully, but do not give advice or judge. Perhaps, on the path of acceptance, you will have to listen to your loved one the story of loss dozens of times in the smallest detail. Don’t stop the person, as talking through the situation is one way to get through it. Do not rush to give advice, especially if you are not asked for it. Often the one who mourns wants one thing – to simply be heard. Don’t rush things. May your loved one recover at their own pace. But if the depression has lingered or you notice disturbing changes in the behavior and thoughts of a loved one, be sure to consult with a specialist about what help can be provided in this case.

5. Respect others’ grief

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone does it in their own way. A person experiencing grief will have emotional ups and downs for a while. This is a normal part of the grieving process. Don’t try to fix it, much less condemn the mourner. Think about how you can help a person smooth out these fluctuations, for example, with the help of creativity. Offer to sign up for art classes, dance classes, or simply spend more time doing something creative together.

Share

Article content

Authors

Tags

Nadezhda Gurina

You may be interested in

Union of Salvation.

Time of Anger (TV series, 2022, season 1) – Film.ru

MORE

Nikita Vysotsky
Director

Leonid Bichevin
Actor

Maxim Matveev
Actor

Ivan Kolesnikov
Actor

Vitaly Kishchenko
Actor

About the series

The Patriotic War is far behind, the empire is about to wake up from sleep, decide to carry out reforms and abolish serfdom. However, while the autocracy is in no hurry to loosen the reins, and the wind of change, along with the word “Revolution”, brings a time of anger: a group of nobles is planning a coup d’état. Their ambitions and dreams of the future will become a springboard for the events that soaked the white snow of December 1825 with scarlet blood.

Interesting facts

• The series is an extended version of the blockbuster “Union of Salvation”, released in 2019year. The project is both a prequel and a sequel to the film.

Release schedule

We promptly monitor all changes in the schedule of the release of the series, but we do not
responsibility for possible unscheduled adjustments in it by the TV channel or streaming platform.

Season 1

Episode 8 October 28, 2022

Episode 7 October 28, 2022

Episode 6 October 28, 2022

Episode 5 October 19, 2022

Episode 4 October 12, 2022

Episode 3 October 5, 2022

Episode 2 September 28, 2022

Episode 1 September 28, 2022

Directed by

90 068

Safety

2015-…

Series in collections

MORE

The best Russian historical series

100 series
98 424

All films and series with Sergei Bezrukov: from best to worst

25 series
47 movies

37 554

15 best dramas with Pavel Priluchny

8 series
7 films

29 935

What to watch at KION: Original designs

32 series
4 movies

25 407

All the roles of Yura Borisov: from best to worst

22 series
27 movies

16 616

All films and series with Ivan Yankovsky

5 series
16 films

15 949

All films and series with Yuri Chursin

47 series
22 movies

14 236

All films and series with Maxim Averin

21 series
9 films

12 736

Russian biographical serials

60 series
2 253

All films and series with Leonid Bichevin

18 series
16 movies

1 658

Shows similar to the Union of Salvation.