Use This Sample Schedule With Kids with ADHD / ADD

All parents of children with ADHD have heard the routine about routines: Kids need structure, and children with attention deficit need even more. The keys to getting the ADHD organization help you need: belief in the power of family routines and a long-term commitment to them.

You’ve heard it before: Set up a morning routine for kids with ADHD to get out the door on time. Make sure homework happens at the same time and in the same setting daily. Do something fun to unwind before a regular bedtime.

On paper, this seems pretty basic. But when you’re raising a child with real attention difficulties in the real world, setting and maintaining such routines can seem downright hopeless. Yet there is hope — even happiness — in sight.

Many well-intentioned parents enthusiastically start out to establish the structure their children need. Yet many throw in the towel after a few weeks (or even a few days) because the routines are not working. “Billy just won’t listen. He doesn’t want to go along with it. Every day becomes a battle, and we’re all worn out. Is there something else we can try?”

Usually, trying to implement a daily schedule doesn’t work because parents give up too soon. To make structure truly effective, routines need to be seen and implemented not just as simple behavioral strategies, but as a way of life.

[Get These Free Sample Schedules for Reliable Family Routines]

The Benefits of Putting Your Child on a Schedule

Routines affect life positively on two levels. In terms of behavior, they help improve efficiency and daily functioning. It may not always be obvious, but children want and need routines. A predictable schedule offers structure that helps kids feel safe and secure. By building one, you send a message that says, “This is how we do things.” Routines make daily activities manageable, allowing your child to focus on one thing at a time.

In addition, your whole family will benefit psychologically from a structured regime. Both parents and children experience decreased stress when there’s less drama about what time you’ll eat dinner and where you’ll settle down to do homework.

What follows is a relaxed home, which yields stronger family relationships. And family identity is solidified by routines in which everyone plays a role (Anna sets the table, Brian clears the dishes). The message: We are a family who eats together; we are a family who reads together; we are a family who schedules regular times for schoolwork and other ongoing responsibilities.

In these hectic times, it may seem impossible to provide a structured lifestyle. Everyone is juggling schedules: work, school, recreation, music lessons, basketball practice, and so on. Yet in just such times, structure becomes most important. The payoff: greater productivity for your child, as well as better health and family relationships.

[Click to Read: How Can I Develop Routines to Keep My Life from Falling Apart?]

A review of 50 years of psychological research, recently published in Journal of Family Psychology, shows that even infants and preschoolers are healthier and exhibit better-regulated behavior when there are predictable routines in the family.

Effective routines take commitment and consistency, with all family adults presenting a united front. Routines should be established when children are young and applied consistently as they grow — but it’s never too late to start. Above all, don’t give up.

Here are suggestions and some sample routines to help get you started. Of course, you’ll want to amend them to suit the age and maturity of your child, the specific behaviors you are working on, and your family’s personality and needs. As you develop your routines, remember that success takes time — sometimes months and years. But the benefits will last a lifetime.

Good Mornings Start with Your Child’s Schedule

The goal of the morning routine is to get everyone ready and out the door on time. Preparations made the night before, such as bathing, packing bookbags, laying out clothes, setting the alarm, and making lunch, are crucial in setting up a smooth morning routine.

Because many children (and adults) with ADHD are highly distractible and impulsive, avoid stimuli that are likely to grab attention and throw the routine off course. For example:

1. Leave the TV off in the morning.
2. Don’t get on the computer to check your e-mails.
3. Ignore that new magazine or catalog until after school or later that evening.

After School Schedule: Homework Helpers

It’s often said that the only consistent thing about children with ADHD is their inconsistency. This is particularly problematic when it comes to academic effort. No activity demands greater structure and consistency than homework, when a child’s ability to self-regulate is called upon. Not surprisingly, parent-child homework battles are common. But an established study routine (time, place, methods) goes a long way toward decreasing their frequency and intensity – if not eliminating them entirely. To establish a homework routine that will improve productivity and increase academic achievement:

• Enforce a consistent start time. This will help your child build a homework habit.
• Stay close to your child. Many children with ADHD concentrate better when an adult works with them or is nearby.
• Take breaks. Distractibility, restlessness, difficulty maintaining concentration, and low frustration tolerance — all typical of ADHD — almost guarantee mental fatigue and boredom. Frequent short breaks, during which the child is allowed to move around, can help.
• Have fun afterward. Your child is more likely to apply herself to homework when she knows that a fun activity, such as playing a game or watching TV, will follow.

A Consistent Dinnertime Schedule

For hundreds of years, family members have forged strong relationships around the dinner table. In this age of the Internet and TV movies on demand, a dinner ritual is still beneficial, if not crucial. While most mealtimes last only about 20 minutes (less time than a TV sitcom), a lot of good things can happen in that short time. Ideally, mealtimes should be a pleasant social time, with business, school, or family problems left off the table. It takes time and work to prepare a family meal, and it can be a hassle getting everyone together at one time, but you’ll find the benefits are well worth the effort:

• Family members stay connected to one another’s lives.
• Events are discussed and plans get made with everyone’s input.
• Responsibility and family cohesion are encouraged by such simple acts as children setting the table and cleaning up afterwards.

Good Nights Begin with a Bedtime Routine

Your goal at bedtime is to help your child wind down and get to sleep at a usual time. Research shows that children with regular bedtime routines get to sleep sooner and awaken less often during the night than those without them. Many children with ADHD fight bedtime because, quite simply, going to bed is boring to them. It’s time for sleep, but there’s still so much they can do! Routines that offer rewards and pleasant activity while encouraging relaxation can help overcome the boredom of bedtime. Some things to try:

• Have a light, healthy snack, like an apple or cheese on a rice cake.
• Play a quiet, low-stakes game, or read a book.
• Have a sweet and personal nightly lights-out ritual.
• Try to get your child into bed at the same time each evening.

There’s no question that establishing family routines takes a great deal of time and effort. You may ask yourself, “Can we afford the time and the energy to do all of this?” A better question might be, “Can we afford not to?”

[Read This Next: If Your Mornings Are Hell, Read This]

ADHD Organization Help: A Sample Schedule

7:00 a.m. Tickle your child out of bed. (A little happy energy can get her up and moving quickly.)

7:05 a.m. Get ready: Post a list and have your child stick to it.

• Wash face.
• Comb hair.
• Get dressed. (Clothes are laid out the night before. ) Check to see how your child is doing, but let her follow the list and do for herself.

7:20 a.m. Breakfast time: Offer two healthy but appealing choices, max. You want her to spend her time eating, not pining over Lucky Charms.

7:45 a.m. Brush your teeth—together. Being with her can speed things up and insure good hygiene.

7:55 a.m. Zip, tie, and layer up. Keeping shoes and gloves by the front door spares you the hide-and-seek.

8:00 a.m. Out you go.

Sample Homework Routine

3:00 p.m. Have a snack and unwind from school.

3:30 p.m. Settle your child at his regular homework spot; be sure all tools are available (pencils, paper, calculator, reference books, etc.).

3:35 – 4:30 p.m. Your child does homework; you stay around to answer questions and monitor breaks (stretch, bathroom, drink).

4:25 p. m. Check his work, and calmly go over anything he should edit (but don’t do it for him). Offer specific praise for good work.

Sample Dinner Routine

6:00 p.m. Parent(s) starts food prep. Organize preparation so that you can avoid the delay of mealtime.

6:15 p.m. Kids set the table. Give them specific tasks to instill a sense of responsibility.

6:30 p.m. Kids pour the beverages.

6:45 p.m. Parent(s) brings the food out to the table.

7:00 p.m. Dinner is served. For mealtime talk, try this: Go around the table—once or more—and have each person share one good thing about his or her day.

7:30 p.m. Kids clear the table. Parent(s) loads the dishwasher.

Sample Bedtime Routine

8:00 p.m. Let him relax in the tub. You can read to him or he can read to himself. Beyond cleanliness, a bath can help a child mellow out at day’s end.

8:20 p.m. Three-part routine: dry off, brush teeth, and pee. You don’t want to hear, “Mom, I have to go to the bathroom!” five minutes after you say goodnight.

8:30 p.m. Get into PJs and clean up toys to set a nighttime, not a playtime, scenario.

8:40 p.m. Read together.

8:55 p.m. Your child gets into bed. Do your nighttime routine: Talk a little about the day, compliment your child on the things he did well, say your ritual goodnight — “I love you all the way to the moon and back again. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

[Download This Guide: Organize Everything Today!]

Peter Jaksa, Ph.D., is a member of ADDitude’s ADHD Medical Review Panel.

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5 Easy-Peasy ADHD Routines to Try

This month we’ve been exploring research (see our article The ADHD Routine: How Daily Routine for Kids with ADHD can be Beneficial) supporting a good ADHD routine.

The research suggests that a great daily routine for kids ease the symptoms of ADHD in children.

The Benefits of a Great Daily Routine for Kids

In summary, surveys show that certain types of daily routines ease the symptoms of “acting out” and arguing.

From this research, it is suggested that families put in place some routines. Such routines could be “household” routines, “homework” routines, and a routine for “discipline”.

As in any community and country, a family needs ‘laws’. Laws, or guidelines, or boundaries ensure everyone understands the expectations of the group. So, all members know how to use appropriate behaviour.

Also they know how to do necessary tasks to make this group (in this case, the family) a well-functioning system. Working this way, all members can be happy, while making contributions towards the well-being of the group (family).

Why an ADHD Routine?

Working with routines means essentially that an ADHD routine can be put in place. This is in order to help minimize the difficult challenges that ADHD can present in daily life.

Routines provide structure, predictability, and assist with implementing ‘rules and regulations’ in your family life.

How to Add Routine to My Child’s Life: 5 Easy-Peasy ADHD Routines to Try

PS: They’re also great for ASD, SPD, or ANY family looking for smoother days!

So now, we’ve partnered with parents, occupational therapists, and schoolteachers to offer parents our favorite, easy-peasy “ADHD routines” to add a little bit of reliability and continuity to your family’s daily life.

We’re categorizing each within the three types of scientifically-shown “best practices” – household, homework, and discipline.

Helping Our Kids With ADHD: Routines for the Household

A Household Routine is one that requires your child to accomplish a list of specific tasks that help the smooth operation of the household. Some tasks on your Household Routine could include:

• A kids morning routing chart for getting ready for school
• Cleaning up after dinner on weeknights
• Putting away toys after playtime
• Bringing laundry baskets out on laundry day
• Feeding and giving water to pets in the morning and evening
• Having a specified time frame for screen time on weekdays versus weekends

And for fun: include the parents’ routines when your child is older.  They are often surprised to see what parents actually do to have the household run smoothly!

1. Kids’ Morning Routine Chart

A child is never too young to start using a kids morning routine chart! We recommend introducing the concept as early as potty-training time.

Choose 3-5 simple tasks that you expect your child would do every morning.

Create a visual aid that shows each step of the morning routine. Also, create a way for your child to interact with the visual aid to show that each step is complete.

There are wonderful, crafty resources on Pinterest to help in that department!

Explain that every day the morning routine must be complete. Then, offer some small reward for completing the routine in a reasonable amount of time without argument.

For example, mum Leena allows her son Harrison to watch one TV program before school if he’s completed the routine before 7:00 am. (It also allows her 20 minutes to complete her own morning routine alone!)

She does note to us that she had to add an additional stipulation: Harrison must turn off the TV when time is up without a fight, else he loses after-school TV privileges.

This same daily routine for kids for the morning can be evolved to grow with your child. Here are some kids’ morning routine suggestions at various ages:

Bonus Morning Routine Tips:

• Set the alarm 15 minutes earlier to allow time for a cuddle, a story, prayers and to discuss the events of the day. For e.g.
  • you have soccer after school, or
  • you have music lessons, I’ll pick you up after at Gate 4, or
  • it is Andy’s birthday, is his present in your bag?
• For those kiddies with poor planning, try these ideas. Put clothes out and use sticky notes on the school bag for reminders of sports shoes, extra books or musical instruments.
• If you leave the house with your kids, make sure your bag is packed.  Make sure your own personal items are organized before you go to bed at night! It will make mornings easier.

2. Kids’ Bedtime Routine Chart

Use the same principle at bedtime to “bookend” your day with a routine. Choose 3-5 simple tasks that you expect your child would do every evening.

Explain that every evening the bedtime routine must be completed. Once the bedtime routine is completed, mum or dad will snuggle in bed for bedtime stories and hugs.

In Martha’s household, for extra reward, her twin girls earn a coin for their piggy banks when they complete the bedtime routines.

Various treats cost various amounts of coins, depending on what the girls are motivated by at the time.

For example, ice cream costs 5 coins, a visit to the animal park is 5 coins, a Happy Meal costs 10 coins, etc.

This same bedtime routine can be evolved to grow with your child. Here are some bedtime routine suggestions at various ages:

Bonus Bedtime Tips:

Dim the Lights, Lower the Volumes, and Turn Off the Screens.

Reducing sensory stimulation, like light and noise, around the house is helpful.

Doing this an hour before bedtime phases children from energetic daytime activities to relaxing nighttime activities. Then, it phases them into falling asleep.

Do 15 Minutes of Yoga.

Research supports that 8-13-year-old boys with ADHD benefitted from doing yoga as part of their bedtime routine.

Doing yoga even just once a week meant these boys were better at staying asleep and were less hyperactive in general. It’ll make YOU feel better too!

Give Your Child A 10 Minute Massage.

One of our favorite calming tips for sleeping!  “Our bedtime routine includes a massage to give him appropriate sensory input,” explains mother Melissa.

Try Story Massage – a kit for parents looking for specific massage instructions and bedtime stories that incorporate massage. Relaxing sensory input like this will help with falling asleep more quickly.

Check in With Your Child About Possible Underlying Anxieties.

Talk about your child’s day. If she prefers, create a reflections jar where your child writes down her thoughts.

For example, write down “Things That Made Me Happy Today”, “Things That Made Me Scared Today” etc. and put them in the jar. This is to get them out of her head before bedtime.

Transition from lights out to sleep with light audio.

Try white noise, music for sleeping, nature sounds, Rhythmic Entrainment Intervention CDs, or the Dream Pad. Some kids enjoy listening to varying nature sounds and letting their imagination wander while falling asleep.

Alternatively, Rhythmic Entrainment Intervention (REI) music for sleeping CDs are based on relaxation research for staying asleep. Lastly, the Dream Pad is a pillow with an integrated audio and vibration system that some kids love.

Let us know which works best for your child for falling asleep and staying asleep.

Use a Weighted Blanket.

We often recommend weighted blankets, especially for a child who has problems with the sensation of touch.

For some parents, these can be a quick and surprisingly effective aid to falling asleep and staying asleep. Check with your occupational therapist regarding the ideal weight related to your child’s weight and age.

3. Helping Our Kids With ADHD: Routines for Homework

A Homework Routine includes any set of guidelines for your child or student to complete homework.

As with the simple household routines, start early and start simple. Even a 5-minute letter-drawing session before dinner can get your 4-year-old in the mindset of everyday homework time with mum or dad.

Those habits become an everyday lifestyle for grade-schoolers, which in turn become critical for high schoolers.

Making the routine simple and required every day is a great way to create good study habits before academics become even more challenging in higher education.

It is generally recommended to spend 10 minutes on homework per grade level.

Some examples of Homework Routine habits include:

• A thirty-minute break immediately upon getting home, then a designated amount of homework time
• Group homework time on schooldays, including parents being available for help during a certain time frame
• Specifying 2-3 acceptable locations to homework in a distraction-free environment.   Research shows that doing homework in the same place and time every single day is less effective.
• Use an alarm or a chore chart to remind children to get started on their homework time. However, you decide on the reminder, stick to it. This means no nagging 3-4 times. If you’ve reminded them once after the alarm has gone off and they still haven’t started, then they must face the consequences. Consequences should be predictable and non-debatable and enforced every time. This is because if you slip once, any normal and healthy kid will test you over and over again!

4. Helping Our Kids With ADHD: Routines for Discipline with The How Do You Feel Chart

A Discipline Routine simply means having some sort of standard discipline in place within your household. Discipline can range from taking away screen time to being “grounded” or having “time outs”.

“Time outs” are time periods in which a child must sit quietly in a secluded space for a few minutes before returning to the family or activity.

Children with ADHD benefit from taking a small time out or a “pit stop” when their emotions start building.

Create language your family can use to identify and ask for a pit stop before getting to a point where discipline is needed.

That’s why we felt it necessary to develop our own tool for parents and teachers to use when discussing emotions and self-regulation with children. The How Do You Feel? Chart is a visual aid developed by pediatric occupational therapists.

It is a Chart that categorizes 5 different emotional states. Using our cute friend Codi, the How Do You Feel? Chart describes each emotional state.

It also offers tips for helping children transition from one end of the emotional spectrum to a more neutral, calm and happy state. The chart is a very helpful tool in any daily routine for kids.

Right-click on the image and save as: to download the How Do You Feel? chart to use in your Discipline Routine to help guide your child’s emotional regulation.

5. Helping Our Kids With ADHD: Routines for Physical Activity with CoordiKids at Home Therapeutic Exercises

Studies show that routines, physical activity, and mid-brain stimulation reduce the negative symptoms of ADHD, amongst many others.

CoordiKids has a wonderful online childhood development programs for helping with the daily routine for kids.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Medical view of the problem

ADHD is a condition characterized by inappropriately high levels of impulsivity, hyperactivity and inattention. The diagnostic conceptualization of these symptoms has changed significantly over time. At the beginning of the 20th century, hyperactive children were considered to suffer from a pathological defect in moral control. In the 1930s, the concepts of minimal brain damage (MBIM) and minimal brain dysfunction (MMD) were introduced based on the observation of behavioral disturbances similar to those observed during the encephalitis pandemic in 1920s or after traumatic childbirth. The term “attention deficit disorder” was isolated in the early 80s. from the broader concept of “minimal brain dysfunction”. In 1980, the American Psychiatric Association developed a working classification – DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition), according to which cases previously described as minimal brain dysfunction were proposed to be considered as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and hyperactivity disorder. In the latest DSM-V classification, these syndromes are grouped under one name, “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder”.

Epidemiology, etiology and pathogenesis

In 2004, the World Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Allied Professions (IACAPAP) recognized ADHD as the “number one problem” in the mental health of children and adolescents. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) affects approximately 1 in 20 children and adolescents today. ADHD attracts considerable interest due to the high prevalence and social significance of the problem. The results of studies confirm that in about 50% of patients, the symptoms of ADHD, undergoing some transformation, continue to be present into adulthood. Manifestation of ADHD often occurs in preschoolers, reaches a maximum of clinical manifestations in elementary school and, evolving, does not disappear either in adolescents or adults, but as they grow older, it transforms and undergoes changes in the quantitative and qualitative ratio of symptoms. Consequently, in many cases ADHD is characterized by a long, chronic course.

According to WHO, between 3% and 7% of children in the world suffer from ADHD. According to epidemiological studies, the incidence of ADHD in the Russian Federation in children aged 6–15 years is 4.0–9.5%, and according to some foreign authors, it even reaches 20–28%. The prevalence of scores among primary school children is 1% for hyperkinetic disorder and 5% for ADHD (M:F = 3:1). Girls make up 25% of hyperkinetic patients. They show less impulsivity and aggression, but more fear, mood swings, social withdrawal, cognitive and language problems.

The debate about the etiology and pathogenesis of ADHD continues. Previously, this disorder was considered in the context of minimal brain dysfunction and organic brain damage was considered the main cause of its occurrence. One of the first theories of the development of ADHD is based on data on the perinatal conditionality of this disorder, i.e., this pathology is considered as a consequence of an organic lesion of the central nervous system that occurred in the antenatal and / or early neonatal periods under the influence of various environmental factors. Medications used to treat ADHD, such as methylphenidate, amphetamine, and atomoxetine, point to dopamine and norepinephrine deficiencies as the neurochemical basis of ADHD, but the etiology is more complex.

In modern concepts of the pathogenesis of ADHD, it is considered as a consequence of disturbances in the posterior cerebral attention system regulated by norepinephrine, while characteristic disorders of behavioral inhibition and self-control are considered as a lack of dopaminergic influence on the flow of impulses to the forebrain attention system. The susceptibility of these structures to incoming signals is modulated by dopaminergic innervation from the ventral tegmental nucleus of the midbrain. Dopamine selectively regulates and limits excitatory impulses to the prefrontal cortex and cingulate gyrus, providing a reduction in excessive neuronal activity. Certain proofs of this hypothesis were the achievements of molecular genetics, namely, the isolation in children with ADHD of genes responsible for the metabolism of dopamine and norepinephrine.

Diagnosis

When diagnosing people for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or hyperkinetic disorder, several stages of assessment are typically used before formal diagnosis, including:

• Clinical examinations (neurological status examination).
• Instrumental surveys, rating scales and rating scales (filling out questionnaires, questionnaires, rating scales).
• DSM-IV and/or DSM-V ADHD Assessment Criteria.
• Clinical interviews (interview) with the patient and parents, teachers of children and adolescents or partners for adults with ADHD.
• Direct observation under various conditions (observation of behavior).
• Evaluation of socio-psychological functioning and adaptation difficulties in people with ADHD of different ages.
• Duration of symptoms (how long symptoms last).

The diagnosis of ADHD should also be based on a complete clinical and psychosocial assessment, a complete developmental and psychiatric history, and observer reports of the individual’s mental state. According to NICE guidelines, for a diagnosis of ADHD, symptoms of hyperactivity, impulsivity and/or inattention must meet the diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th Edition (DSM-V) for ADHD and the 10th Revision of the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Problems. health (ICD-10). Please note that in 2018, ICD-10 was updated to the 11th edition of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), where HKD is now called ADHD.

Treatment

The major classes of available pharmacological treatments for ADHD include: stimulants, non-stimulants, and nootropics.

The most common side effects of stimulants are loss of appetite, sleep disturbance. When taking stimulants, although rarely, serious side effects from the cardiovascular system have been identified. In the US, Canada, and Europe, a consensus has been reached that routine electrocardiographic screening and/or cardiac examinations before initiating stimulants are only necessary for those with a positive family or personal cardiac history. Some children may not respond to stimulant medications or may not be able to tolerate stimulant medications due to side effects (such as loss of appetite). Thus, several non-stimulant drugs are also used for ADHD pharmacotherapy. Modafinil and reboxetine have shown some promise in the treatment of ADHD. A number of reports have been published on the use of alternative and complementary medications in the treatment of ADHD. Positive results have been reported for ginkgo biloba. Short chain fatty acids and omega-3/omega-6 fatty acids have not been shown to be effective.

The current consensus regarding most alternative and complementary therapies is that these treatments are best used as an adjunct to current pharmacotherapy rather than as an alternative.

Psychosocial treatment of ADHD primarily focuses on the following four simple but difficult principles: reward positive behavior; ignore inappropriate behavior; punish unacceptable behavior; Tailor activities to your child’s abilities.

Conclusions

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is an invisible disability . It is a neurobiological disorder that affects behavior, self-control, motivation, motor activity, impulsivity, emotions, the ability to direct and maintain attention, sociability, accessibility to learning, and the way the brain processes information. The child does not look sick in the traditional sense of this condition, but if a child or adolescent with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is left unattended, then in the future this will create significant difficulties for the child in learning, interpersonal relationships, social and emotional development, which , in turn, can lead to antisocial behavior.

Source: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Medical view on the problem Ergasheva N. N., Yunusov M. Z. Oriental Renaissance: Innovative, educational, natural and social sciences VOLUME 2/ ISSUE 2

How I learned to live with ADHD and became an app developer

Careers

4/26/23

Reader Story

Ekaterina Shalmina

asked questions

Author profile

In the “Careers” section, readers of Tinkoff Magazine tell what events and decisions influenced their professional path.

The hero of this issue has been dreaming of working in IT ever since he first saw a computer, but after technical school he was not taken to the programmers. He began to study the backend on his own, working either as an equipment repairman, or as an engineer, or as an algorithm developer in a bank. And at the age of 27, I found out that he had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and understood why it was so hard to concentrate on studying.

This is a Community story. The editors asked questions, carefully edited and designed according to the standards of the magazine

Professional path

Master_54

fulfilled his dream

Author profile

I dreamed of becoming a programmer since childhood. I first saw a computer in the third grade, in a friend’s apartment. He showed me a program that he wrote himself. It was an “artificial intelligence” that answered some phrases, only it did not work on the basis of a neural network, but using dozens of conditions. Like “hello” – give out “hello”. If he wrote: “How are you?” – answer: “Okay, and you?” And so on. It then seemed like magic to me, and the question of my future was decided rather quickly.

I got my first computer late, when I was in eighth grade, because my family didn’t have money for it. I lived in a private house, so I did not have the Internet. To solve this problem, I went to friends, to computer clubs and to a girl whom I was dating at that time. Computer clubs were located in different schools and were free. Sometimes they even taught some basic things there – from Word to disk defragmentation. In clubs, I gained general knowledge, mostly I solved programming problems on the network from a girl.

My parents were supportive of my aspirations, so they sent me to a 3D graphics course, which I dropped out because it took more than two hours to get there and back.

He graduated from technical school and went to the army at the insistence of his parents. Went to a technical school with a degree in information systems. There were many subjects that were unnecessary in my profession, such as history and the Russian language. There were no practical skills at all. I expected that I would be able to find a job immediately after graduating from secondary specialized education, but this turned out to be almost unrealistic.

I was one of the best students at the technical school. I was the only one who studied outside the classes and studied something on my own. Therefore, I was confident in myself until I went to several interviews. The reality was cruel…

In 2014, he graduated from a technical school and immediately went to the army. The parents insisted on the army, arguing this with something like “did not serve – not a man.”

💎 I can’t say that it was bad in the army, as if I went to a sanatorium. But, of course, it’s a shame for the lost year. And the thought of where I would be now if I had not spent this time in the service is depressing.

Got a job in computer repair. After the army, in the winter of 2015, realizing that I didn’t have enough knowledge to work as a programmer, I found a vacancy for an equipment repairman at Headhunter. At the interview, no knowledge was checked. The company had a mentor who taught sales techniques rather than repair.

💎 We were trained to impose additional services like checking for viruses, replacing thermal paste, and so on. There were many lectures about sales and capitalism – that a service or product costs as much as one is willing to pay for it. The best orders were given to those with the highest average check. I never directly deceived clients, but often sold services for more than they cost.

There was no official registration, as well as salary. The payment was piecework, I received 10-50% of the check. The first salary was about 30,000 R. Then, on average, about 50,000 R per month came out.

50,000 R

earned on average as a technician repairing equipment

Worked five days a week, with floating days off, 12 hours a day, from 10 am to 10 pm. But often it was necessary to linger, since it was impossible to leave the client without completing the repair.

Studied C# on my own. I wanted to develop websites, but the frontend did not attract me, the backend seemed much more interesting. My thesis was written using ASP.NET and I studied mostly C#. I started, in my opinion, with the courses of Gosha Dudar on YouTube. Now I consider DevJungle the most useful, but it is already for experienced developers. Then I was a beginner, and almost any course was suitable for me.

The training progressed very slowly, and then I did not understand why. I could not calmly read articles and books, I could not concentrate, I was constantly distracted, because of this I lost motivation and began to hate myself.

💎 The more I went into IT, the harder it was. I even thought that perhaps I had chosen the wrong profession, but I did not leave the dream of becoming a programmer.

Found a job as an engineer. In 2017, I got my first official job. Found a job at Headhunter. There was one interview where they asked about my education and interests, applied skills were not required. It was enough to be ready for training and business trips, of which there were quite a lot.

Training went on right at work. On my first business trip, I unknowingly almost caused an accident at an oil refinery: I turned off the coolant pump on the fuel tank. But there were no consequences, the leadership was able to hush it up. Everyone understood that my two weeks of experience were not very conducive to business trips, but there were sorely lacking people.

I quickly learned everything and joined the work. As an automation engineer of the third category, my salary was 35,800 R before taxes. There were many responsibilities: from writing software for factories in the Java language to laying cables and installing sockets. The work itself was simple, but that’s why it wasn’t very interesting.

35,800 R

was the salary of an engineer of the third category

The schedule was standard – 5/2, 40 hours a week. But on business trips, it could be anything. The workload was also uneven: sometimes too little work, sometimes forced overtime.

Started budgeting. For the first month of work, I received 35,012.95 R on hand and from that moment I write down absolutely all my income and expenses. I gave 15,000 R for housing, because for the sake of this job I had to move to another city. I saved 5000 R for study. The amount of expenses changed frequently as I lived in several apartments and was periodically in a relationship, which increased spending. It was easy to go out of the budget and by the end of the month be completely without money. Therefore, it was necessary to make calculations in advance and set limits for different categories.

How income changed from 2017 to 2023

I still keep the budget in the same way. I immediately set aside for mandatory fixed costs. Then I allocate part of the income for economic security: 10% for a future pension and some amount, always different, for a pillow. I distribute the remaining money for variable expenses, which may vary depending on the season and life circumstances. This approach helps to plan the budget and not spend money on unnecessary things.

💎 Financial literacy and cost accounting is important. I have never borrowed money, been stressed by lack of money, and have not saved on my health, even when I received a very modest salary.

Continued to study as a programmer. I studied for an hour or two on weekdays and a couple of hours on weekends. Stepik has become the main site for learning. Then I studied everything, without a plan, without an idea: Java, Python, C++, SQL. Then I honed my SQL skills at sql-ex.ru – I advise everyone. I studied Git, Docker and other additional software on YouTube.

The study was slow and hard, much more difficult than that of friends and colleagues who also wanted to become programmers. It was easier to go through the video courses. The main difficulties were still with reading. I had to reread the same paragraph two or three times to understand the meaning. I constantly caught myself thinking that I was thinking about something completely different, and I started anew. I threw away most of the books. I felt terrible because of this, but did not give up and continued to study.

💎 The only thing I started to study with real benefit then was English. Now I own it at B2 level.

Entered the university. I knew that I would most likely not learn anything new, but the crust itself might come in handy later. It was a state university, specialty – “applied informatics in economics”. It was easy to study in absentia, by that time I knew quite a lot of things and solved problems for my classmates for money.

Higher education cost me 240,000 R — 30,000 R per semester. Graduated with honors and an average score – Grade Point Average, GPA, – 4.9. By the way, foreign companies often ask for GPA at interviews.

💎 In Russian universities, for some reason, they are forced to study something that is not very suitable for the program: programmers are taught history, literature, philosophy. Maybe the reason is that the cost of an hour of a history teacher is much lower than the cost of an hour of a discrete mathematics teacher? Though I could be wrong, of course.

Received a promotion to first category engineer. I did not do what I dreamed of, but it was honest work. I was praised, and I felt that I was doing something useful.

I was embarrassed to directly ask for a raise, but I often overworked and readily took on new tasks. A year later, my salary grew to 37,200 R, and in 2019, when I became an engineer of the first category, it was already 44,700 R.

44,700 R

was the salary of an engineer of the first category 💎 Nothing special from the category did not depend, there was only a minimal difference in salary, in the complexity of the work to which you were connected, and in responsibility.

I had to supervise only beginners, immersing them in the know. I did pretty well with this, as I myself was recently a beginner, so they almost always trusted me.

Tried to do an internship. In search of a job in IT, I regularly looked through the vacancies of interns on Vkontakte, went to interviews. On the first try, they didn’t take me because I didn’t have sufficient SQL skills. I passed the second internship, but I had to interrupt my studies due to problems with concentration.

Found my first job as a developer. In December 2019, I got a job as a junior developer of RPA and ML algorithms in a Russian bank. They took me on an acquaintance. At the interview, knowledge of algorithms and SQL was checked.

Finally, I developed software 100%! RPA is a software robot. In fact, I described an algorithm that imitates the actions of a living person: go to a site, enter a name, click on a button, get a result, and so on. Such robots successfully replace people in routine operations, even where there is no possibility of integration through the API – the application programming interface.

The algorithm works with all sites, programs and forms. That is, it reproduces almost any manual labor on a computer. It all looks like a low-code sequence of actions that can be launched manually, and on a schedule, such as a quarterly report, and on a trigger, such as receiving an email. This allows you to reduce a large number of ordinary employees and optimize their work.

The standard working day began at nine in the morning and ended at six in the evening. The salary at first was 55,000 R, but most of the income depended on bonuses. Once a quarter they accrued a bonus equal to my salary, once a year – equal to several salaries. Later, due to salary growth, the quarterly bonus was cancelled.

55,000 R

was the developer’s starting salary at the bank

Passed interviews. When I became a developer, I registered on Linkedin, and HRs started coming to me. There was a lot of attention to my person, and I decided that passing interviews is also a skill, so I agreed to everything. I talked, found out what skills employers now need, and learned how to answer questions.

💎 These interviews helped me build my self-esteem as a professional. I stopped being shy about asking for a raise and being afraid of bosses.

Became chief development engineer. I showed good results, my responsibility and scope of tasks increased, that is, their volume. I started asking for more money and got two raises in a year. My income grew very quickly. First, as a lead development engineer, I received 73,000 R, then as a chief engineer – 113,000 R. dla. And when I quit, I was offered the position of senior, but I refused. I left the company, remaining on good terms with the team, and even helped them with advice on the projects I was involved in.

Went to a psychotherapist and found out my diagnosis. It all started with the fact that I could not concentrate on tasks, I was distracted, procrastinated, I felt constant anxiety because of this. I turned to psychologists – the bank provided the employees with a telemedicine service for free. The first one said that I was lazy, I needed to work harder and take responsibility for my actions, as if he had spoken to my parents before that. The second, on the contrary, suggested that I work and study too much, so my brain resists any work. He said: “You’re just overtired, you need to rest.” But no matter how much I rested, nothing changed.

Plus, I started noticing other odd behaviors as well. I was very impulsive and quick-tempered, often interrupting people. Could sharply get carried away by some meaningless activity for a long time. He had difficulty coping with simple everyday tasks, such as cleaning the apartment, due to constant distractions from games, social networks, and random thoughts. All this was accompanied by tics, trembling of the legs and other symptoms.

As a result, I turned to a paid psychotherapist, choosing him based on reviews on the Internet. After questioning me, he gave me a preliminary diagnosis of ADHD and wrote me a referral to a psychiatrist. The ADHD psychiatrist confirmed and prescribed treatment. But it turned out to be difficult to choose the pills, since for ADHD they take Ritalin or Adderall – amphetamine – which are banned in Russia. The only legal drug that was in the country caused me unpleasant side effects, and I did not want to break the law.

“Living with ADHD – an increased level of complexity from birth”: a psychiatrist – about children with this diagnosis

I had this disorder since childhood, but there was no widespread practice of making such diagnoses at that time. At the same time, I had all the standard symptoms: loss of attention when performing routine tasks, impulsivity and hyperactivity – from walking in circles during a call to convulsions, even in a dream. I was very forgetful, I had my head in the clouds – my entire diary was red from behavioral remarks.

💎 One of the worst manifestations was the loss of attention when talking. At the moment when they tell me something important, I can think about some nonsense, especially in stressful situations, and then I have to ask again several times.

Learned to live with ADHD. I felt a huge improvement after the first session with a psychotherapist. I have been told all my life that I am lazy, stupid, distracted. I myself thought so and hated myself for it. It was nice to know that it was not my fault – I was just born that way, and it was important to understand what was happening to me. It helped me feel normal.

💎 The psychotherapist gave a lot of useful advice on how I can live with this. For example, keep a daily schedule, set reminders, use special applications like a pomodoro timer and other time management tools. Reduce stress levels, practice mindfulness and engage in psychotherapy.

I continued to see a psychotherapist until he moved to another city. In addition to ADHD, we discussed some moments and events from my childhood and personal life, which helped me, I believe, to build a strong relationship with my girlfriend, and now my wife. She helped me a lot in the fight against the disorder, was always there, tried to understand me and did not judge me. Thanks to her, I learned to love myself and accept myself the way I am.

Then I began to study my peculiarity on my own. Over time, I learned to accept my syndrome and even use hyperfocus as a superpower. Now I feel stable and without visiting a specialist.

How I live with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

By the way, I still haven’t coped with impostor syndrome. And I don’t think I can get rid of it completely. At least it doesn’t interfere with work. Now it rarely manifests itself, but sometimes thoughts fly by that I am being paid more than I deserve.

💎 My conclusion from this story is this: psychotherapists do not eat their bread in vain.

Completed an internship for the first time. After contacting a psychotherapist, I got an internship, which I combined with work. This was my third attempt. Thanks to psychotherapy, my studies went more cheerfully, and I successfully completed my studies. For the first time in my life, I was able to finish something like this.

The internship took place in a branch of a Belarusian company and consisted of two parts. The first part included lectures, which were just as difficult for me, but I tried very hard and diligently completed practical tasks that were beautifully designed in Git. We learned to work with it and side services.

Crop Drawings and Fractional Problems: 7 Techniques to Help Me Learn with ADHD

The second part consisted of practice where we worked on a real project with a few senior developers who mentored us, gave us assignments, and reviewed our code. My task was to integrate the service with MS Teams and work with JWT tokens.

💎 As a result, six months of internship turned out to be much more useful for me than the years spent at the technical school and university.

Moved to an oil company. In 2021, I left the bank due to covid: I was spoiled by remote work, and when I was offered to return to open space, I went to Linkedin. The job search took about two hours. I already had quite a few offers back then. I just accepted the most profitable one – from an oil company, with twice the salary and complete remoteness.

💎 Working remotely is more pleasant: favorite chair, cat, food not from a container. With ADHD, it’s hard to focus anyway, but when I’m away, I’m less distracted by noise, I can turn on the Lo-Fi radio on YouTube, which, playing in the background, noticeably increases concentration. Plus, it’s more convenient to use the pomodoro timer remotely. Although sometimes it’s tempting to take a nap during work hours or play a game on Nintendo.

I was offered 200,000 R, while all my expenses were no more than 50,000 R. I was the same RPA developer, only I worked with a different technology stack. I had to learn a lot from scratch. But I quickly figured everything out. It was even closer to a dream job: more opportunities, less banking bureaucracy.

During the year of work in the company, my salary without promotion increased to 220,000 R. If it were not for February 24, I would happily continue working there.

Employed in a foreign company. In 2022, I made the decision to leave the country and work for an international company. As usual, they found me through Linkedin. Now this is my main way of communicating with employers.

The company that I got into was founded by people from the CIS countries, so internal communication is carried out in Russian, and with clients in English. My job is to develop RPA, .NET Backend and ML Python. The position is called software developer – software developer. My level now is senior or middle plus.

I have a flexible schedule, but it is important that I work a total of eight hours a day. The last salary was approximately 340,000 R at the exchange rate at the beginning of 2023.

Left Russia. Now I live in Georgia and I am waiting for a visa to Poland. I am planning to stay there. Georgia is a beautiful country, but it doesn’t quite match my preferences. I am not a big fan of Georgian wine. The cuisine is fatty, spicy and floury food. I do not like the atmosphere of the Soviet periphery, which is saturated with a touch of Russophobia. I understand Georgians who have a national trauma with the participation of my country, but I don’t want to explain to my child why insults are written against us on the wall. In addition, the Georgian language is one of the most difficult in the world, I do not want to learn it.

The cost of rent in Poland is lower than in Georgia, food is also much cheaper than even in Russia. But more taxes. Since my interaction with the company will be B2B, I will have to pay taxes myself, and this is an interesting new experience.

I feel like a financially accomplished person. Every month I save about 3000 $⁣ (3000 R) in different piggy banks – mainly for retirement and for an airbag. Now it contains about 10,000 $⁣ (10,000 R). They should be enough for six months of life in Poland. I also set aside about $15,000⁣ (R15,000) for my wife’s education at a European university: she had long wanted to get a master’s degree. Plus, there are also personal savings and illiquid assets in the form of shares in two Russian apartments.

Prices in rubles are recalculated at the current rate every time you open the page

Strategy for the future

First, settle in one place. Continue doing what you love. Less time to study and career, more time to family.

I almost never overwork, but ADHD takes more time to learn new skills than the average person. The company pays for training on various platforms, trainings, language courses. Now I’m studying .net backend on Udemy, as it is necessary for the current project. I spend four to six hours a week studying.

Secondly, I would like to dive deeper into machine learning and possibly project and team management. Well, and pass several certifications:

• cloud services AWS, Azure, demonstrating cloud platform management skills;
• UiPath Advanced is one of the most important RPA certifications, confirming the skills to develop RPA solutions on the UiPath platform.

RPA certifications are needed to confirm professional skills, advance in a career and, of course, to get a badge in LinkedIn, and cloud services will help expand the area of ​​competence.