What men should know about pleasuring women

By Moeena Halim

Knowing how different women experience orgasms will not only improve your game, it could also make your relationship stronger

When it comes to sex, there is a wide “pleasure gap” between men and women. According to Dr Laurie Mintz’s BECOMING CLITERATE: Why Orgasm Equality Matters – and How to Get It, winner of the 2019 Society for Sex Therapy and Research Consumer Book Award, 50 per cent of women (between the age of 18-35) have trouble reaching orgasm with their partners.

One of the biggest problems that men in India face in this area, according to Dr Pavan Sonar, is that many don’t understand that it is just as important for their partners to orgasm. “They are unaware of the needs of their partners, and, in some cases, even of the very existence of such a thing as the female orgasm,” says the psychiatrist and sexologist. On the other hand, Mintz, a Florida-based psychology professor and human sexuality expert, blames mainstream media, movies and porn for putting penetrative sex above all other ways of achieving sexual pleasure. In our culture, adds sexologist Dr Sanjay Kumawat, peer pressure also plays a major role in perpetuating myths and misunderstandings.

Know her body

“Most women complain to me saying that their male partners don’t know what to do with them [sexually],” reveals Niyatii N Shah, sexuality educator, counsellor and author. “For men, there’s little to no emotion around the act of sex. They usually get right down to either kissing or fondling breasts and then they’re set. Foreplay isn’t something they invest time in. It takes a while for a woman to get aroused. It could take anywhere between three to 15 minutes for her to even get in the mood to have sex if she isn’t the one initiating it,” she adds.

When the pleasure that men feel during the act peaks, they ejaculate. It’s not as straightforward for women. “Women are capable of achieving multiple orgasms, each lasting three to five minutes, with the right stimulation of different sensitive erotic parts,” says Sonar. This is different for each woman, and figuring out what turns your partner on can only come with the exploration of her body. Of course, for the man to know what she wants, and when she wants it, the woman must be communicative.

The male and female sex cycle differs grossly. “While men get excited by vision, touch and talk, it’s not always the same for women, who usually take some time to get aroused. They need foreplay,” says Dr Kumawat. In the case of women, the orgasm comes only after a long “plateau period”, which is why prolonged foreplay plays an important role. “Allow her some time in order for her to get excited before penetration,” he says.

The route to orgasm Learning what an orgasm means for your partner and the different ways to achieve it is paramount to sexual satisfaction. Penetrative sex is not the only way to achieve it. There are several erotic zones that can be aroused during foreplay, including the lips, neck, scalp, ears, inner thighs, stomach, and so on, but clitoral stimulation, according to Mintz, is the most reliable way for a woman to achieve orgasm. Kumawat agrees, referring to clitoral stimulation as a “cardinal part of foreplay.”

“The clitoris is just outside the vulva. I’d equate it with the penis, because stimulation of the clitoris can give the highest pleasure to a woman,” says Sonar.

“Understanding the function and the location of the clitoris is very important. So when patients come in, I usually explain female anatomy with the help of diagrams and 3D models,” he adds. One way to stimulate the clitoris is to perform oral sex. This is most often a sure-shot way to achieve orgasm. “But it is not the only way. What would work, would depend on the comfort level of both partners too,” Sonar points out. Digital manipulation –gently using the forefingers, after applying lubrication – can help stimulate the clitoris too.

According to Kumawat, prolonged foreplay can ensure that both partners reach orgasm at the same time. It’s important that a man have patience so that both can orgasm at the same time. But this is not easy to achieve, and it is often the case that the woman is still reaching climax even after the man has ejaculated.

“Most men arrive at orgasms pretty quickly. They can’t sustain their erections, and the women end up feeling unsatisfied. But it is not necessary that both must reach orgasm together. There are ways other than penetration to give her an orgasm,” says Shah.

Dr Sonar recommends augmenting the act with sex toys. “If the man is exhausted after penetrative sex, then stimulative toys could help. Toys such as dual vibrators that hit the G-spot – an erogenous area of the vagina that, when stimulated, may lead to strong sexual arousal and orgasms – and the clitoris, which is the pleasure centre of the vulva, can help the woman enjoy powerful orgasms,” he says. Because it is illegal to sell sex toys, no chemist is likely to stock these, but they are easily available online.

Communication is key “For men, sex is not about attachment, but for women, sex is intrinsically linked to emotion. It’s important for a man to know his partner well, to build an emotional bond and keep her happy. Women operate from that spot,” explains Shah. In many cases, men don’t think about asking the female partner if she is satisfied, if she is alright, whether or not she enjoyed the act. The assumption is that if he has climaxed, so has she.

“Don’t be guided by porn, or use something you’ve watched as a benchmark,” warns Shah. “Porn is mainly objective and fake. In reality, women may or may not moan, that doesn’t mean she isn’t enjoying the act. The only way for you to really know if your partner is enjoying herself is to ask her,” she says. Shah recommends asking your female partner about her likes and dislikes and whether or not she is satisfied. “Understand what excites her, and where her erogenous spots are. Apart from the clitoris and nipples, there are several spots inside the vagina that can be stimulated. You won’t know unless you explore – change the angle and the pressure, and mainly, ask her if she likes it,” she says. It’s easy for a woman to fake orgasms unless her partner really invests the time to recognise her reaction in her body when she reaches orgasm.

Set realistic expectations

“Most men and women read about these things online and are consequently woefully ill-informed on the subject,” says Dr Sonar. The first piece of advice he offers is that the couple set reasonable expectations. “Some have faulty assumptions, for instance, that penetrative sex must last for half an hour at the least. But even with long-time penetrative sex, it is possible that the woman may not orgasm. When it comes to sexual feelings, the psychological make-up of men and women differs greatly.”

Women, too, are often unaware of their needs. “Almost 70 per cent women don’t know that they can experience orgasms too. They just think it’s their duty to have sex with their partners – the whole idea of sex revolves around the man,” says Shah. Although this is changing, with more and more women gaining awareness about the need and importance of their sexual satisfaction, sex education is still lacking. Shah stresses on the importance of educating oneself from the right sources. “It’s important to consult experts to learn how their advice can be applied specifically to you,” says Shah.

How To Arouse Women: Top 12 Tips & Techniques (For Men)

For most men, pleasing a woman can be very intimidating.

Figuring out what makes her tick and what types of strokes and touches she desires can seem very complicated, but rest assured, you can learn how to pleasure her hotspots and ensure she enjoys herself each and every time.

Pleasing a woman in the bedroom isn’t half as complicated as it seems, and a big part of the battle is simply having the desire to do so.

Quick FAQs

What are the signs of a women getting aroused?

You can detect female arousal by her natural lubrication increasing, pupils dilating, her back arching, nipples getting hard, and facial flushing among other things.

How long does it take for a woman to get aroused?

There are no exacts when it comes to female arousal. It can take just a few minutes and in some circumstances arousal may never come.

Is there anything I can do to increase her arousal?

Yes, we’ll cover 12 tips in detail, including; sensual talk and touch, oral sex, massages, and behavioral characteristics that can lead to arousal. You can also try Promescent Arousal Gel to get things started.

So, if you’re interested and engaged in making the experience pleasurable for her, you’re already halfway there.

The next step to be great in bed with a woman is to understand her body and trigger points in turning her on. With that being said, sometimes it requires a little more education and know-how than you might think.

Let’s talk about the importance of understanding female arousal triggers, and 12 simple ways to totally arouse a woman that will have her wanting more…more…more.

The Differences Between Male and Female Arousal

You have probably heard that men and women have different ways of getting aroused in general. According to the American Psychological Association, men and women not only have big physical differences in how they experience arousal, but mental ones as well.

Due to the differences in the male and female brains, it’s normal that patterns of arousal are not going to be the same.

That’s because the sex-steroid hormones running through our bodies are different in the genders.

In a study performed by Stanford Medicine, they explored how the hormones in women, which are estrogen and progesterone predominantly, and testosterone in males can make the sexual experience different for either sex.

These hormones affect brain chemistry in many ways. And, the way we are socialized also plays a role: Men might prefer visual triggers like watching pornography, while women might prefer to be romanced or feel as though their partner truly sees them and desires them.

So while watching a X-rated video might be all it takes to get you in the mood, she might need a romantic date night or plenty of foreplay like kissing and petting before she’s in the mood.

Understanding Female Arousal Triggers

One of the best ways to get your partner in the mood for sex is to be present and engaged.

Giving your partner your full attention before you reach the bedroom, such as putting your phone away and having a meaningful conversation at the dinner table, will do more to get her in the mood than just lighting a few candles.

That being said, setting the mood is also important.

It’s advisable for men to engage in a bit of ‘choreplay’, that is, helping to clean up the house and do your part when it comes to chores, so that she has more time to relax and practice self-care.

The more she takes care of herself, the more desirable she will feel and the more in the mood she will be for intimacy.

12 of The Best Ways to Arouse A Woman

Men are often compared to a microwave during sex – they’re ready to go instantly. Women on the other hand are like a crockpot – they need more time to heat up.

This brings us to our first point tip.

1. Don’t Rush Things

Remember, your partner is a crockpot.

So, try to set the mood all day long if you want to have intimacy later that night. You can:

• Send her seductive and flirty text messages
• Compliment her on her new dress
• Wash the dishes so she has time to do yoga
• Have a glass of wine on the couch

Create that relaxed, sexy energy that she desires.

If your partner isn’t the mood for intimacy, you can still connect with her physically in other ways:

• Offer to draw her a bubble bath
• Give her a massage
• Snuggle with her on the couch and watch a movie
• Find ways to engage with her physically like holding her hand or stroking her hair

This will help her to feel bonded and relaxed and could eventually lead to more desire down the road.

2. Set the Scene

Women love the right atmosphere to get them turned on. That includes candles she loves, soft lighting, and a little romantic music.

All of these elements in your home put together can trigger feelings of sexual desire.

When you set the scene for her, it also shows that you care about her feeling comfortable and desired.

This is the perfect time to have the right lubricant on hand by the bedside like our Promescent Organic Aloe-based lube, which has soothing aloe vera and other responsibly sourced ingredients.

3. Engage in Eye Contact

Of course, when you are engaged in foreplay you’re going to be taking in the sight of her gorgeous body. Don’t forget to look her directly in the face with lots of eye contact.

That’s a big turn on for many women who like that direct connection. This simple act can make her feel worshipped and desired.

4. Tell Her How Sexy She Is

Don’t be shy about telling her how beautiful and sexy she is.

This can give her more confidence in the bedroom which will allow her to enjoy the sexual moments you are sharing more.

You can also use this time to talk erotically to her. Tell her all the things you want to do to her, and what you want her to do to you.

5. Utilize Foreplay

Foreplay is a majorly important part of sex.

A woman’s body needs time to respond to touch and friction. If you feel like you as a man are getting aroused too fast with the potential to climax prematurely, it’s probably a good time to try to delay ejaculation by using Promescent Delay Spray.

It’s a patented, doctor-created spray that can take your bedroom play to the next level.

And don’t worry, if you have this issue you aren’t alone. The Mayo Clinic estimates that 1 out of 3 men experience this problem at some point during their life.

6. Find All of Her Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zones are the extra-sensitive parts of the body that will respond to sexual pleasure.

So here’s the deal, it’s not all about her vulva (the outer part of the female vagina) and clitoris (which is located inside the labia majora right near the top of her labia minora, or inner labia).

You need to focus attention on other areas of her body too.

Those erogenous areas include her:

• Ears
• The nape of her neck
• Inner wrist
• Fingertips
• Backside
• Scalp
• Armpits
• Lower back
• Stomach
• The back of her knees

Use a combination of light kisses, slow strokes, and gentle rubbing on these different places to figure out what gets her ready for more.

7. Ask Her What She Likes

Being a good listener is also a turn on for women.

Ask her what she likes and truly listen to her responses. It can definitely give you a better indication of what she’s into.

Pick her brain a little bit even before you start anything. Ask her what her fantasies are. She’s going to want you to tell her what yours are as well.

Sex talk even before the act is a HUGE turn on.

Talking about sex is certainly a way to get each other in the mood.

8. Pay Attention to Her Cues

Her body is naturally going to tell you that you’re doing something right.

Look for cues or signs of female arousal like her:

• Pupils dilating
• Her back arching
• Nipples getting hard
• Facial flushing
• Her natural lubrication revving up

These are all sure-fire signs that you’re making her desire and want to have sex with you.

9. Display Confidence

Confidence is a major turn-on.

If you emanate confident and assured energy, it’s going to help your partner feel desired, and spark sexual confidence in her as well.

So be bold. Be vulnerable. Be your best self.

Strut your stuff, and know that confidence goes a long way to being good at sexual fun in the bedroom.

10. Be Patient

Most women don’t achieve orgasm as fast as men do. That’s okay. Be patient with her.

Let her take her time and don’t rush through sexual pleasure.

Some women can start to feel self-conscious if they aren’t having an orgasm fast enough.

By taking your time with her, letting her know that you’re enjoying every moment of the experience, it will allow her to relax.

When you put this into consideration, it will help her have a better climax when she’s ready.

11. Give Oral Pleasure, Generously

Don’t be shy with orally pleasuring her. This is sometimes the best way to get a woman to achieve an orgasm during sex.

Not all women have an orgasm with intercourse alone.

In fact, according to a study by the Kinsey Institute, a well-known research group that explores sexual and reproduction topics, women are more likely to have an orgasm when “engaged in a variety of sexual acts, including oral sex.”

Whereas, men can likely achieve orgasm from intercourse alone.

Learn some fun oral techniques, use your hands as well as your mouth, and don’t forget to vary your pressure.

You’ll be able to feel with your fingers if she’s opening up to you and enjoying your technique. If this is an area where you don’t feel super confident, it’s time to improve your skills.

Plus, it doesn’t hurt to tell her how much you love doing it.

Some women are afraid their men aren’t enjoying oral sex so it tampers down their enjoyment and relaxation during the act.

Showing your partner that you truly love going down on her will allow her to relish it more.

For help improving your oral sex skills, read our article: A Guide To Cunnilingus: Tips, Techniques, And More

12.

Touch Her All Over

You may feel going to town on her clitoris is the sure-fire way to get her turned on, and it’s one of the best parts, but don’t neglect the rest of her body.

Women loved to be touched all over. Stroke her thighs, rub her back, and squeeze her behind.

Using a combination of all kinds of touching will truly get her hot and heavy into the moment to drive her wild with pleasure.

Takeaways

Having great sex regularly with the one you love is usually a work in progress.

Experimenting with these tips and tricks to find out what arouses your partner in bed will only lead to better sex overall. You’ll find out quickly what works and what doesn’t get the job done for the woman in your life.

The more engaged you are in her pleasure, the more pleasure you’re going to definitely get in return.

Related Articles

Sex on the brain: What turns women on, mapped out

By Linda Geddes

Man locates clitoris at last

(Image: International Society for Sexual Medicine)

It’s what women have been telling men for decades: stimulating the vagina is not the same as stimulating the clitoris. Now brain scan data has added weight to their argument.

The precise locations that correspond to the vagina, cervix and female nipples on the brain’s sensory cortex have been mapped for the first time, proving that vaginal stimulation activates different brain regions to stimulation of the clitoris. The study also found a direct link between the nipples and the genitals, which may explain why some women can orgasm through nipple stimulation alone. The discoveries could ultimately help women who have suffered nerve damage in childbirth or disease.

The sensory cortex is a strip of brain tissue positioned roughly under where the band between a pair of headphones sits. Across it, neurons linked to different body parts exchange information about the sensory information feeding into them. This is often depicted as the “sensory homunculus”, a distorted image of a man stretched across the brain, with his genitals lying next to his feet (click here). The size of the body’s parts show how much of the brain is dedicated to processing the sensory information from each body part.

The diagram was first published in 1951 after experiments conducted during brain surgery performed while the patients were conscious: the surgeon electrically stimulated different regions of the patients’ brains and the patients reported the parts of their bodies in which they felt sensation as a result. But all the subjects were men. Until recently, the position of female genitalia on the homunculus had only been guessed at.

This changed last year when a team led by Lars Michels at University Children’s Hospital in Zurich, Switzerland, used functional magnetic resonance imaging to confirm that the position of the clitoris on the homunculus was in approximately the same position as the penis in men. Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey, and his colleagues have now used the same method to map the position of the clitoris, vagina and cervix on the sensory cortex as women stimulated themselves.

There, there and there

“This is hard proof that there is a big difference between stimulating those different regions,” says Stuart Brody of the University of the West of Scotland in Paisley, UK, one of the researchers in the study.

Some have argued that women who derive pleasure from vaginal stimulation do so because their clitoris is being indirectly stimulated, but the current findings contradict this. “They support the reports of women that they experience orgasm from various forms of stimulation,” says Beverly Whipple, also of Rutgers University, who was not involved in the current study.

It’s the nipples, stupid

Komisaruk also checked what happened when women’s nipples were stimulated, and was surprised to find that in addition to the chest area of the cortex lighting up, the genital area was also activated. “When I tell my male neuroscientist colleagues about this, they say: ‘Wow, that’s an exception to the classical homunculus,’” he says. “But when I tell the women they say: ‘Well, yeah?’” It may help explain why a lot of women claim that nipple stimulation is erotic, he adds.

The next step is to map what other areas of the brain light up in response to clitoral and vaginal stimulation. Komisaruk would also like to see what happens when the area that supposedly contains the G-spot is stimulated, as women in the current study just stimulated the front wall of the vagina generally.

The findings could also help women who have suffered nerve damage in childbirth or because of diseases like diabetes. Michels has preliminary evidence that stimulating the clitoral nerve can improve symptoms of urinary incontinence, but says a proper understanding of how the nerve maps to the brain is needed to translate this into effective treatment.

Meanwhile, Komisaruk says that nipple stimulation could enhance genital sensation in women with nerve damage. “It could be a supplement for experiencing orgasm,” he says.

Journal reference: Journal of Sexual Medicine, DOI: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02388.x

More on these topics:

Low sex drive in women – Diagnosis and treatment

Diagnosis

By definition, you may be diagnosed with hypoactive sexual desire disorder if you frequently lack sexual thoughts or desire, and the absence of these feelings causes personal distress. Whether you fit this medical diagnosis or not, your doctor can look for reasons that your sex drive isn’t as high as you’d like and find ways to help.

In addition to asking you questions about your medical and sexual history, your doctor may also:

• Perform a pelvic exam. During a pelvic exam, your doctor can check for signs of physical changes contributing to low sexual desire, such as thinning of your genital tissues, vaginal dryness or pain-triggering spots.
• Recommend testing. Your doctor may order blood tests to check hormone levels and check for thyroid problems, diabetes, high cholesterol and liver disorders.
• Refer you to a specialist. A specialized counselor or sex therapist may be able to better evaluate emotional and relationship factors that can cause low sex drive.

Treatment

Most women benefit from a treatment approach aimed at the many causes behind this condition. Recommendations may include sex education, counseling, and sometimes medication and hormone therapy.

Sex education and counseling

Talking with a sex therapist or counselor skilled in addressing sexual concerns can help with low sex drive. Therapy often includes education about sexual response and techniques. Your therapist or counselor likely will provide recommendations for reading materials or couples’ exercises. Couples counseling that addresses relationship issues may also help increase feelings of intimacy and desire.

Medications

Your doctor will want to review the medications you’re already taking, to see if any of them tend to cause sexual side effects. For example, antidepressants such as paroxetine (Paxil) and fluoxetine (Prozac, Sarafem) may lower sex drive. Switching to bupropion (Wellbutrin SR, Wellbutrin XL) — a different type of antidepressant — usually improves sex drive and is sometimes prescribed for women with sexual interest/arousal disorder.

Along with counseling, your doctor may prescribe a medication to boost your libido. Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved options for premenopausal women include:

• Flibanserin (Addyi), a pill that you take once a day at bedtime. Side effects include low blood pressure, dizziness, nausea and fatigue. Drinking alcohol or taking fluconazole (Diflucan), a common medication to treat vaginal yeast infections, can make these side effects worse.
• Bremelanotide (Vyleesi), an injection you give yourself just under the skin in the belly or thigh before anticipated sexual activity. Some women experience nausea, which is more common after the first injection but tends to improve with the second injection. Other side effects include vomiting, flushing, headache and a skin reaction at the site of the injection.

These medications aren’t FDA-approved for use in postmenopausal women.

Hormone therapy

Dryness or shrinking of the vagina, one of the hallmark signs of genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM), might make sex uncomfortable and, in turn, reduce your desire. Certain hormone medications that aim to relieve GSM symptoms could help make sex more comfortable. And being more comfortable during sex may improve your desire.

Possible hormone therapies include:

• Estrogen. Estrogen is available in many forms, including pills, patches, sprays and gels. Smaller doses of estrogen are found in vaginal creams and a slow-releasing suppository or ring. Your doctor can help you understand the risks and benefits of each form. But, estrogen won’t improve sexual functioning related to hypoactive sexual desire disorder.
• Testosterone. The male hormone testosterone plays an important role in female sexual function, even though testosterone occurs in much lower amounts in women. Testosterone isn’t approved by the FDA for sexual dysfunction in women, but sometimes it’s prescribed off-label to help lift a lagging libido. The use of testosterone in women is controversial. Taking it can cause acne, excess body hair, and mood or personality changes.
• Prasterone (Intrarosa). This vaginal insert delivers the hormone dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) directly to the vagina to help ease painful sex. You use this medication nightly to ease the symptoms of moderate to severe vaginal dryness associated with GSM.
• Ospemifene (Osphena). Taken daily, this pill can help relieve painful sex symptoms in women with moderate to severe GSM. This medication isn’t approved in women who have had breast cancer or who have a high risk of developing breast cancer.

Lifestyle and home remedies

Healthy lifestyle changes can make a big difference in your desire for sex:

• Exercise. Regular aerobic exercise and strength training can increase your stamina, improve your body image, lift your mood and boost your libido.
• Stress less. Finding a better way to cope with work stress, financial stress and daily hassles can enhance your sex drive.
• Communicate with your partner. Couples who learn to communicate in an open, honest way usually maintain a stronger emotional connection, which can lead to better sex. Communicating about sex also is important. Talking about your likes and dislikes can set the stage for greater sexual intimacy.
• Set aside time for intimacy. Scheduling sex into your calendar may seem contrived and boring. But making intimacy a priority can help put your sex drive back on track.
• Add a little spice to your sex life. Try a different sexual position, a different time of day or a different location for sex. Ask your partner to spend more time on foreplay. If you and your partner are open to experimentation, sex toys and fantasy can help rekindle your sexual desire.
• Ditch bad habits. Smoking, illegal drugs and excess alcohol can all dampen your sex drive. Ditching these bad habits may help give your sex drive a boost and improve your overall health.

Alternative medicine

Talking about low sex drive with a doctor may be difficult for some women. So some women may turn to over-the-counter herbal supplements. However, the FDA doesn’t regulate such products, and in many cases, they haven’t been well-studied. Herbal supplements can have side effects or interact with other medications you may be taking. Always talk with a doctor before using them.

One herbal supplement blend is called Avlimil. This product has estrogen-like effects on the body. While estrogen may boost your sex drive, it may also fuel the growth of certain breast cancers.

Another choice is a botanical massage oil called Zestra. It’s applied to the clitoris, labia and vagina. One small study found that Zestra increased arousal and pleasure when compared with a placebo oil. The only reported side effect was mild burning in the genital area.

Coping and support

Low sex drive can be very difficult for you and your partner. It’s natural to feel frustrated or sad if you aren’t able to be as sexy and romantic as you want — or you used to be.

At the same time, low sex drive can make your partner feel rejected, which can lead to conflicts and strife. And this type of relationship turmoil can further reduce desire for sex.

It may help to remember that fluctuations in the sex drive are a normal part of every relationship and every stage of life. Try not to focus all of your attention on sex. Instead, spend some time nurturing yourself and your relationship.

Go for a long walk. Get a little extra sleep. Kiss your partner goodbye before you head out the door. Make a date night at your favorite restaurant. Feeling good about yourself and your partner can actually be the best foreplay.

Preparing for your appointment

Primary care doctors and gynecologists often ask about sex and intimacy as part of a routine medical visit. Take this opportunity to be candid about your sexual concerns.

If your doctor doesn’t broach the subject, bring it up. You may feel embarrassed to talk about sex with your doctor, but this topic is perfectly appropriate. In fact, your sexual satisfaction is a vital part of your overall health and well-being.

What you can do

To prepare for this discussion with your doctor:

• Take note of any sexual problems you’re experiencing, including when and how often you usually experience them.
• Make a list of your key medical information, including any conditions for which you’re being treated, and the names of all medications, vitamins or supplements you’re taking.
• Consider questions to ask your doctor and write them down. Bring along notepaper and a pen to jot down information as your doctor addresses your questions.

Some basic questions to ask your doctor include:

• What could be causing my problem?
• Will my level of desire ever get back to what it once was?
• What lifestyle changes can I make to improve my situation?
• What treatments are available?
• What books or other reading materials can you recommend?

Questions your doctor may ask

Your doctor will ask questions about the symptoms you’re experiencing and assess your hormonal status. Questions your doctor may ask include:

• Do you have any sexual concerns?
• Has your interest in sex changed?
• Do you have trouble becoming aroused?
• Do you experience vaginal dryness?
• Are you able to have an orgasm?
• Do you have any pain or discomfort during sex?
• How much distress do you feel about your sexual concerns?
• How long have you experienced this problem?
• Are you still having menstrual periods?
• Have you ever been treated for cancer?
• Have you had any gynecological surgeries?

Dec. 17, 2020

The mystery of the female orgasm

There are hotspots in this furnace, however. One is the nucleus accumbens, a brain region that deals in pleasure and reward through the release of a neurotransmitter called dopamine. Given the choice, rats will choose electrical stimulation of this brain region over food – to the extent that they would allow themselves to starve to death. Besides sex, it’s also activated by cocaine, amphetamine, caffeine, nicotine and chocolate. No wonder orgasms make you want to keep on going back for more.

After orgasm, however, some important differences do emerge, which might begin to explain why men and women react so differently after climax. Komisaruk, with Kachina Allen, has found preliminary evidence that specific regions of the male brain become unresponsive to further sensory stimulation of the genitals in the immediate aftermath of orgasm, whereas women’s brains continue to be activated: this may be why some women experience multiple orgasms, and men do not.

Anatomy of pleasure

If these brain scans have generated some controversy, it has been nothing compared to the attempts to pin down the anatomy of the orgasm. The penis has just one route for carrying sensations to the brain, the female genital tract has three or four. At the seat of female sexuality is the clitoris: familiar to most as a small, pebble-shaped nubbin, plonked in an awkward position, a centimetre or so in front of the vaginal opening. Precisely who discovered the importance of this structure is up for debate. Ice-age clay models, known as “Venus figurines”, depict a faceless woman with large breasts, a rounded belly, a prominent vagina and labia – and on one model, a clitoris.

It wasn’t until the 16th Century that the clitoris began to be described as a distinct physical structure, common to all women, with the function of inducing pleasure. In his book, De re anatomica, published in 1559, Realdo Columbo described the clitoris as “the seat of a woman’s delight”. Yet in subsequent centuries, female pleasure took a back seat, and the clitoris was largely forgotten – at least by anatomists and physicians. It re-emerged in the 20th Century, but was still regarded as inferior by many.  Though Sigmund Freud at least acknowledged that women can experience orgasm, he believed that clitoral responsivity is superseded by vaginal orgasm in mature women. The inability to experience vaginal orgasms is associated with psychosexual immaturity, he wrote.

What’s Holding You Back from Orgasming?

Medically reviewed by Mary Lucas, RN Written by Our Editorial Team Last updated 8/01/2020

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Society tells us the female orgasm is so elusive that women resign themselves to a low number of orgasms. Research shows only 25% of women consistently orgasm with vaginal intercourse, about 50% sometimes achieve orgasm, 20% seldom orgasm and 5% never have orgasm.

It’s time those numbers change.

Many factors can inhibit your body’s ability to reach the peak of arousal and then reach release. Keep reading to discover common factors keeping women from orgasming—and what you can do about it.

Too Much Pressure to Orgasm

Why it’s an issue: Pressure is the opposite of what you need to orgasm. It could be partner-inflicted or self-inflicted, but either way it can keep you from coming. Pressure can lead to a physical tensing up, racing thoughts, feelings of discomfort, and other barriers to orgasm.

Solution: Remove the pressure. If it’s self-inflicted, focus on enjoying the holistic sexual experience. If you come, great. If not, you can still enjoy all the other thigh-shaking and tingling sensations you feel.

If the pressure is partner-inflicted, have a conversation about it. A partner’s caring attempt to show they care about your sexual pleasure can easily turn into pressure and make a lack of orgasm feel like a failure on both your ends. Talk about how you’re feeling. Then, redirect the focus to cultivating a positive sexual encounter rather than racing to an orgasm.

You’re Unfamiliar With Your Body

Why it’s an issue: Knowing your body is key to consistent orgasms. If you know tapping your clit does nothing but circles on your clit drives you wild, then your partner can focus on that motion in bed. Every body is different and it takes time to discover what yours responds best to. Once you know the positions and sensations that best build to orgasm, you can set yourself up for success by incorporating those into the bedroom.

Solution: Explore your body. Spend some solo time playing around with different techniques to see what feels best. Listen to a sex podcast or read a book to discover new things to try. There are many ways to explore your sexuality without a partner and learn how to have sex with yourself. You can also explore with your partner, but don’t make the focus reaching orgasm. Instead, simply play around together to see what you enjoy the most.  

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Not Enough Clitoral Stimulation

Why it’s an issue: You need more than the right amount of foreplay; you need the right kind of foreplay. For 70% of women, it’s impossible to orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation. You can check all the other boxes of great sex, but you still might not get the sweet release you seek until you bring your clit into the picture. Even if you don’t need your clit to come, taking advantage of this high-nerve ending body part will make the road to orgasm much smoother.

Solution: All you need is to involve your clit in sex more. Trying using a vibrator on it to pack powerful sensations. Focus on sex positions that target it, such as missionary or doggy (where your partner can reach around to use their hand for manual stimulation). Receive oral stimulation for gentle, direct contact. Play around with different ways to play with your clit.

Too Much Alcohol

Why it’s an issue: Alcohol can dehydrate you, which can decrease your body’s natural lubrication and increase vaginal dryness. This increases the chances of discomfort, which decreases your chance of orgasm. It also inhibits aspects of your central nervous system that relate to sexual arousal and orgasm, putting up extra roadblocks to those crucial steps.

Solution: Watch how much you drink before attempting sex and drink plenty of water to help counteract the dehydration.

Mental Roadblocks

Why it’s an issue: Reaching orgasm is a mental game as well as a physical one. Thoughts can push you out of the moment and keep you from enjoying the sensations that could get you to come. Maybe you feel shame about sex due to your upbringing. Maybe you are hesitant to let your guard down and be vulnerable. Maybe you are focused on your unending to-do list that you need to conquer when you’re done. Whatever the distracting thoughts are, they make it almost impossible to orgasm.

Solution: Tackle the road block. For simple distractions, you can eliminate them before sex. Write down your to-do list to get it on paper and out of your head. Try some deep breathing exercises or guided meditation to get your thoughts focused on the moment at hand. Eat a snack so you aren’t thinking about your stomach growling. Remove any distraction you can.

Some roadblocks do take more time to conquer, such as removing shame surrounding sex. A therapist can be a valuable resource for empowering you to overcome those deeper rooted roadblocks.

Sex Pain

Why it’s an issue: Sex should never be painful. Let us say that again: Sex should never be painful. Sometimes our bodies don’t work the way we should and what is supposed to be pleasurable ends up being painful.

Solution: If it’s a one-time instance, it could simply be lack of lube or that certain position. But if you repeatedly experience pain during sex, speak to your doctor immediately. You could be suffering from a diagnosable issue, such as endometriosis. Pinpointing the cause is the first step in either managing or treating your symptoms, which helps put you on the path to relief!

Not Enough Lube

Why it’s an issue: Sex involves a lot of friction and rubbing of very sensitive tissues. Without enough lubrication, what should be pleasurable can become uncomfortable (or even painful). Naturally, this is not conducive to coming.

Solution: Lube up! Yes, you are getting naturally wet as you get turned on. But in almost every case, you’ll benefit from a little extra lubrication. It’ll help prevent discomfort and can even enhance sensations.

Full Bladder

Why it’s an issue: Your bladder isn’t too far from where all the action is happening. All the thrusting motions can make you aware that you need to pee, which takes you out of the moment and makes it harder to reach that moment of release.

Solution: Pretty straightforward—head to the bathroom before sex.

Lack of Excitement

Why it’s an issue: Sometimes, you’re just not feelin’ it. And that’s totally okay. It’s important to remember that everyone, at some point, experiences a dip in their sex drive. And often, it has nothing to do with your romantic, emotional or physical attraction to your partner. Things like stress, past experiences and even diet can drastically effect your sexual desire, and there’s nothing wrong with taking some time to figure out what’s curbing your, uh, appetite.

Solution: We all know that good sex begins and ends with good communication. Have a conversation with your partner. Talk to them about what’s going on, and work with them to figure it out. Again, therapy is big for helping this kind of thing. You can also talk to your doctor about medications that can actually help you reclaim your sex drive. 

It helps to spend some time thinking about your sexual encounters where you didn’t come. Are there any common connections? See if you can pinpoint something (or a few things) to try differently next time.

As you try new tactics, always keep in mind the importance of avoiding pressure to come. Making an orgasm your end goal could end up preventing you from having one at all. Instead, set yourself up for success by eliminating barriers and then let your sexual experience unfold naturally. After all, orgasms are great but they are not the only way to enjoy your sexuality!

Want more help from the women who know best? Check out the hers blog. 

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment.

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90,000 Pros of sex during pregnancy

Good mood

Prolonged abstinence during pregnancy may not please either the mother-to-be, or especially the father-to-be. At the very least, there may be some latent dissatisfaction or irritation. But closeness with a loved one, the father of the unborn child, will support the woman’s hormonal background. Having sex with her man, the expectant mother receives confirmation that she is loved, psychologically this makes her much more comfortable.Plus, positive emotions can help you overcome anxiety both during pregnancy and before childbirth. In general, sex for expectant mothers is a source of good mood and well-being. Well, there is nothing to say about dads!

B o Greater enjoyment

The body and physiology of a woman during pregnancy change greatly: blood flow to the pelvis increases, the vagina narrows, and the clitoris increases. And now the expectant mother can achieve a “better”, brighter orgasm and experience greater pleasure.And as you know, it is at the time of orgasm that a huge amount of the hormone of happiness – endorphin is produced in the body. By the way, it also enters the baby’s body and also gives him positive emotions.

No need to protect yourself

When having sex during pregnancy, you do not need to protect yourself, which liberates both man and woman. Previously, making love, they had to think about contraception. The woman either had to take hormonal drugs, or use local spermicides – not everyone liked it or liked it.A man had to either use condoms or control himself, and the stronger sex does not like this very much. In addition, if pregnancy was not planned yet, then after this method of contraception, the woman was often nervous. Or, on the contrary, if a couple really wanted to get pregnant, then for someone sex became “work”: a woman, striving for conception, chose strictly defined days and hours for this. It was also uncomfortable and not very happy. Now, during pregnancy, you can relax and just enjoy each other, giving your loved one new sensations.

Health Benefits

Like any other woman, a pregnant woman needs useful substances that are contained in sperm: male hormones, enzymes, prostaglandins. They help to soften the cervix, which means that during childbirth it will be able to open better and there will be no risk of rupture. Plus, intimacy, like any physical activity, improves blood circulation, this is especially beneficial for the uterus, although other organs will also be involved here.

And having sex, no matter how mundane it sounds, prepares the crotch well for childbirth.The tissues do not lose their elasticity, and the likelihood that the birth will take place without tears or incisions increases.

Preparation for childbirth

Sex during pregnancy is also beneficial because the hormone oxytocin released during orgasm causes weak contractions of the uterus. They are great preparation for childbirth because they are similar to labor pains. Thus, with frequent “training” the muscles of the vagina and uterus will be more elastic, and this will greatly facilitate the labor process.By the way, there is no need to be afraid of orgasm – it was previously believed that orgasm can strongly stimulate uterine contractions and cause premature birth. But now it has been established that if the uterus, its cervix, and also the baby are not ripe for childbirth, then the contractions of the uterus during orgasm will not affect the state of pregnancy in any way. So an orgasm will not cause premature birth.

Stimulation of labor

If the uterus and the baby are “ripe” and the due date has already come or is completely left behind, then doctors even advise the parents-to-be to have sex to stimulate labor.And – what is especially important – sex without a condom. The fact is that semen contains special substances – prostaglandins, which are necessary for the maturation of the cervix. In the maternity hospital, women whose cervix is ​​not ready for childbirth are injected artificially with prostaglandins, in the form of a gel. But the natural method will also cause a similar effect: the cervix will soften and open slightly. This method is contraindicated only in two cases: if there is no certainty that the partner does not have a genital infection, or when a rupture of the membranes and outpouring of water have already occurred.

H Often during pregnancy, a woman becomes very sexual, her desires and attractions are brighter than before. Right now, sex can not only preserve, but also increase the intimacy of a couple, so close emotional and physical contact should not be neglected.

Today, restrictions on lovemaking have been completely removed: doctors believe that sex during pregnancy is harmless – provided, of course, if the pregnancy is “strong” and proceeds without threatening conditions

A woman (and especially during pregnancy) should listen to her desires, and not to the desires of her partner. And if she wants sex, then there is no reason to deny herself this. And if he doesn’t want to, then there shouldn’t be any questions on this topic

Expectant mothers have different attitudes towards bodily changes during pregnancy: some tolerate pregnancy easily, others not very well. The attitude towards sex often depends on this: some of the women are ready for it, and some cannot even think about it. Both the one and the other situation – the norm

90,000 How to prepare for IVF for a woman and a man?

How to prepare for IVF for a woman? Food and lifestyle

Where to start preparing for IVF for a woman

• Bring the weight back to the physiological norm.You should not go on extreme diets, after which body weight quickly returns to the previous one. Add more protein, fresh vegetables, fruits and greens to your diet. Avoid spicy, fried, heavy food, fast food. Try to limit the amount of salt. If your body mass index is less than normal, you may need to gain weight. This should be done only on the recommendation of a reproductive specialist.
• Say goodbye to tobacco, coffee and alcohol.
• Choose moderate physical activity such as walking, pilates, yoga, dancing, swimming.If you worked hard in the gym, gradually reduce the load on the body, especially on the abdominal muscles.
• Do not take supplements and vitamin complexes without a doctor’s prescription. Folic acid is the maximum you can take to prepare for IVF on your own.
• Learn and practice positive thinking techniques daily. This will help you overcome difficulties and prepare yourself mentally.
• Avoid overheating and hypothermia
• Work hard to prevent respiratory viral infection.Observe preventive measures in a pandemic – use personal protective equipment and wash your hands more often after visiting public places.

Be healthy!

Preparing a man for IVF: tips and tricks

It is easier for men to influence the state of reproductive health if reversible changes occur in the reproductive system. It is enough for a husband to give up unhealthy food and bad habits for 2-3 months (a full cycle of spermatogenesis) and the supply of sperm will be renewed.

Recommendations for preparing for the IVF protocol for men:

• Avoid overheating. It is advisable to exclude visits to baths and saunas. Normal sperm maturation is only possible at 34 ° C. Limit driving. Since, in addition to overheating, stagnation occurs in the groin area, leading to thickening of sperm.
• Physical activity should be present, but it is undesirable to allow excessive loads.For sedentary work, walking up to 5 km daily will be optimal.
• Avoid wearing tight and tight underwear. Although there is no substantiated scientific data on the effect of tight swimming trunks on the process of sperm maturation, it is advisable to remove all the alleged negative effects when preparing for IVF.
• Sexual intercourse before entering the IVF cycle, on average, once every three days. Before taking the spermogram and sperm on the day of the puncture – this is the “golden” rule.

Stages of preparation for IVF:

The next steps will be: stimulation of ovulation, follicle puncture, artificial insemination and embryo cultivation, transfer of the blastocyst into the uterus, confirmation of pregnancy.

Now you know the main directions of how to prepare for IVF. Let these guidelines help you, and the protocol will bring the desired result. One more question remains – how long does the preparation take? There is only one answer – depending on the state of health.The period can last from 1 to 6 months.

Postpartum recovery – where to start

The birth is over, you have become a mother. And there is a new life ahead: with new emotions, sensations, new questions and, first of all, with a new perception of oneself. But how is it, incomparable happiness, to feel if the body hurts, it is unpleasant to move, it is impossible to sit, every now and then throws in a fever and for some reason with the mood not everything is as smooth and joyful as we would like?

It’s okay.These changes are necessary and important. What happens to the female body in this postpartum period, for which nature has given us 6-8 weeks? Within a few hours (!) After childbirth, the nervous, cardiovascular and other systems of the female body begin to rebuild, and hormones are tuned to a new stage – lactation. At the same time, a woman needs to comprehend what happened, get used to new feelings and sensations – this is also an important psychological stage. This is a multi-stage and difficult process, on the “quality” of which the psycho-emotional stability of the mother depends.And her condition, in turn, affects the adaptation and development of the child (for example, some psychotherapists believe that certain areas of our brain are formed in the first six months of life and directly depend on the emotional relationship with the mother during these months).

Previously, it was believed that after giving birth, the mother did not need to be disturbed, she was tired, she needed to rest, she had to adapt to a new life, she had no time for doctors, procedures, etc. …

But it is in the first 3-4 weeks that significant changes occur in a woman’s body, and they are a great burden on the body.Therefore, if in the very first postpartum week we gently and correctly “intervene” in the process of restructuring, then the postpartum period will pass much easier. You need to listen to your body and prioritize correctly.

“In my opinion, recovery after childbirth should be started as early as possible – in the very first days after the hospital,” Nina Antonova, obstetrician-gynecologist and hirudotherapist, is convinced. – A woman is experiencing this restructuring not only at the physiological level, she lives it very emotionally.In Israel, research was carried out: the mother was asked the same questions – immediately after childbirth and 20 years later. The only question, the answer to which has not changed over the years, was: “What day in motherhood do they consider the most difficult?” All mothers both times answered like this – this is “the day of returning from the hospital.” To overcome the many stressful situations of postpartum life, we will show you what is happening and which specialists can be helpful.

What is happening, what problems may be, and what specialists can help:

1.The uterus contracts and returns to its original size, its mucous membrane is restored (after childbirth, the uterus weighs 1000 grams, and after 6-8 weeks – 50-60 grams). For successful uterine contraction, it is very important to latch on the newborn to the breast within the first hour after birth, and frequent feedings after (once every 2 hours during the day, and a little less often at night). Breastfeeding stimulates the production of oxytocin, which helps the uterus contract, which, by the way, the mother may even feel during feedings – when sensations appear in the lower abdomen, reminiscent of contractions.Herbal preparations from shepherd’s purse, nettle, yarrow, or birch leaves can also help shrink the uterus. Until it diminishes, one must be very careful with physical activity, exercise – not all of them will be beneficial. Do not strive to regain your former harmony in the very first postpartum weeks – now you and your body have completely different tasks.

Which specialists can I contact?

• The gynecologist (in the first month) will check the contraction of the uterus, see if there are any blood clots, and possibly perform an ultrasound scan.
• The hirudotherapist will also help the speedy healing of injured soft tissues, reduce edema, raise the general (and local) immunity of the mother

2. Due to hormonal changes, the ligaments after childbirth change their elasticity, so the bones and joints become less mobile. Following them, the internal organs, which were displaced due to the large size of the uterus (stomach, lungs, intestines, bladder, etc.), take their previous position. All these changes can be accompanied by pain, and in the future, pathological fixation can occur, leading to a constant sensation of discomfort, for example, in the back.

Which specialists can I contact?

Reception of an osteopath is useful to any woman after childbirth for full recovery and establishment of lactation, we especially recommend visiting him if there was a long or rapid childbirth, if a large child was born, there were breaks in childbirth or pain persists, there is pain in the sacrum.

Also, an osteopath will help a mother with lactostasis (and a newborn – with an inability to properly grasp the nipple while sucking).

3. Changes are taking place in the endocrine system: the work of hormones is now aimed primarily at ensuring breastfeeding. But it often happens that milk by the end of the first week does not come in sufficient quantities. Or disappears in a month altogether (the so-called lactation crises, which not everyone can survive). Or, on the contrary, there is so much of it that mastopathy threatens.

Which specialists can I contact?

A breastfeeding consultant will help to establish lactation, tell you how to stimulate milk production, teach you how to attach the baby to the breast so that nipples do not crack, that is, help organize feeding so that it brings joy and satisfaction to mom and baby.The psychologist will advise on the main psychological aspects of the postpartum period, breastfeeding, the first year of your child’s life, and the specifics of relations with your spouse after childbirth.

4. The emotional state of the mother is changing: postpartum euphoria can be replaced by irritability or unreasonable sadness, indifference or, conversely, impulsivity. If a mother cries or regrets something on the first day after childbirth, then, according to perinatal psychologists, this may be a manifestation of postpartum depression.Emotions during this period have a great influence on the postpartum recovery process – to help him or, conversely, to slow him down.

Which specialists can I contact?

The homeopath will help balance the emotional mood, harmonize the general condition. The psychologist will tell you what is new with the body, with the psyche of the mother, what tasks are relevant at this stage. What needs to be done to prevent postpartum depression, where, in what or “in whom” to look for resources for recovery.And if depression does come, it will help to cope with your condition and return to a full life.

Meetings with specialists or lectures on children’s issues will help you switch to solving new pressing issues: how to organize the daily routine, how to learn how to relax, how to travel with an infant, and also solve a number of “pediatric” problems (starting with vaccinations and ending with hardening or non-drug treatment. means – for example, our “School of moms and dads”).Although an active social life is recommended no earlier than 3 months after giving birth, when you can easily leave the house with your baby using a sling.

You can take advantage of different options for help – and classic medical, psychological, and organizational, and turn to more ancient methods of treatment, leading to overall recovery. Now you can choose and, most importantly, do it consciously!

Oral misoprostol for induction of labor

Oral misoprostol is effective for induction of labor.This (oral misoprostol) is more effective than placebo, as effective as vaginal misoprostol, and results in a lower Caesarean section rate than vaginal dinoprostone or oxytocin. However, there is still insufficient data from randomized controlled trials to determine the best dose of misoprostol to ensure safety.

Induction of labor at the end of pregnancy is used to prevent complications when a pregnant woman or her unborn child is in danger (there are risk factors).Causes of induction of labor include prolonged pregnancy, premature rupture of membranes, and high blood [arterial] pressure. Prostaglandins are hormones that are naturally present in the uterus; they soften the cervix and stimulate labor contractions. An artificial analogue of prostaglandin E2, dinoprostone, can be administered vaginally to induce labor, but is unstable at room temperature and is expensive. Oral misoprostol is a cheap and heat-resistant synthetic analogue of prostaglandin E1; it was originally developed to treat stomach ulcers.

This review of 76 randomized controlled trials (14,412 women) found oral misoprostol to be at least as effective as other current methods of inducing labor. Nine trials (1,282 women) showed that oral misoprostol is equivalent to intravenous oxytocin infusion, but results in significantly fewer caesarean sections. The high incidence of meconium staining of amniotic fluid was not associated with any adverse effect on the unborn child, and may be a direct effect of misoprostol on the baby’s intestines.This effect was also seen when compared with vaginally administered misoprostol, but was less pronounced. Thirty-seven trials (6,417 women) comparing oral versus vaginal misoprostol were equally effective. However, those who took oral misoprostol had better neonates at birth and had less postpartum haemorrhage.

90,097 In 12 (twelve) trials (3,859 women) comparing oral misoprostol with vaginal dinoprostone, women taking misoprostol were less likely to need a caesarean section (21% versus 26% of women), although induction of labor may have been slower overall …The most common misoprostol dose in these studies was 20 mcg. The frequency of hyperstimulation and meconium staining was similar with misoprostol and dinoprostone.

Nine trials comparing oral misoprostol versus placebo (1,109 women) showed that oral misoprostol was more effective than placebo for induction of labor, with a lower incidence of caesarean sections and infant admissions to the neonatal intensive care unit.The quality of the evidence for some comparisons was very robust (eg, oral misoprostol versus vaginal misoprostol), but the strength of the recommendation was weaker for other comparisons.

How to properly stimulate a girl’s clitoris: 12 tips from experts

Playboy18 +

Send her to the seventh heaven.

Maria Minaeva

Photo by unsplash.com

It takes more than good old-fashioned penetration for a person with a vagina to reach orgasm.Sure, your penis is great and all, but only a quarter of girls usually cum during vaginal penetration. This means that you definitely need to know how to stimulate the clitoris in order to give your friend the maximum pleasure.

It’s not as difficult as nuclear physics or rocket science, but before you set off to storm its “gates of heaven”, you should arm yourself with some knowledge that will help you become a truly skillful lover.

Meet the clitoris

Are you by any chance one of those guys for whom the location of the clitoris is shrouded in darkness? If yes, then it’s time to fill this annoying gap in sexual education and learn more about this amazing part of the female body, which many shyly and coquettishly call “zest”, “bean” and “bud”.

Filled with nerve endings, the clitoris is one of the most sensitive erogenous zones of a woman. Its head has about 8000 nerve endings, which, by the way, is twice as many as the head of your penis.

So where do you look for the clitoris? At the top of the vulva, just below where the labia meet. This is where the head of the clitoris and its “hood” or foreskin (familiar terms?) Are located.

However, this is only the visible part of the organ, inside the body it continues and reaches 12 centimeters.It also looks a lot like your cock, take a look yourself.

Illustration from Wikipedia

Things to Remember Before Stimulating the Clitoris: 3 Basic Rules

1. Agree with the girl about the feedback

90,097 An impressive 67% of women in the Indiana University study preferred stimulation in and around the clitoris rather than directly on it. If you’re not sure what your partner likes best, remember this universal tip: ask her!

Despite the fact that below we will tell you about the best stimulation techniques, we cannot guarantee that your girlfriend will like them all.

Each person is unique, as well as his preferences, so carefully monitor her reaction in the process, as well as talk about what she likes / dislikes, and how she would like you to caress her – this is the surest way to success.

What if the girl is too shy to discuss the details of sex openly?

You can always set up the sign system. Offer her this option: let her make certain sounds when everything is fine and she likes your actions, others when she is hurt and unpleasant, and silence can mean, for example, that something strange and useless is happening.It will turn out like in the game “warmer / colder / very cold / hot”.

Or try not to say anything in words, but to play in the process: do you like this (showing) or this (doing a different movement)?

2. Be careful

We repeat once again that there are a lot of nerve endings in the clitoris, so this is an extremely sensitive erogenous zone. Therefore, do not follow the example of adult movie characters who frantically rub this place on the camera, and be gentle.

Too intense caresses instead of pleasure can turn into painful sensations, so always start small, gradually increasing the impact, and immediately pay attention if the stimulation has become excessive for the girl and brings discomfort.

How to caress the clitoris so that a girl reaches orgasm

The clitoris is perhaps the most sensitive part of a woman’s body. More than 8,000 nerve endings are concentrated in its head alone. For comparison: this is about twice as much as in a man’s penis.

The clitoris reacts so sharply to touch that 67% of girls prefer the man to caress the area nearby, and not him. This is stated in study ^{, published in the American journal Sex and Marital Therapy.In addition, 1,055 women interviewed between the ages of 18 and 94 described in detail which movements and touching the clitoris bring them the most pleasure. Here is a short summari.}

1. Circle around

When the researchers asked women about the sexual techniques they liked the most, three quarters of the respondents mentioned the following. They don’t really like it when a man stimulates the clitoris directly. But it is extremely exciting when a partner circles around him: carefully and gently writes circles on the skin.You can do this with one or two fingers, or with your tongue – the effect is equally magical.

2. Add a light, as if accidental touch

While writing circles with one hand or tongue, with the fingers of your free hand, hint about a future orgasm: occasionally, as if by accident, touch the head of the clitoris. For example, try tapping it lightly. This will set the rhythm of the contractions of the clitoris, which are the basis of the clitoral orgasm.

3. Find the sensitive side

The same study found that 4 out of 10 women had a higher clitoral sensitivity on one side, right or left.Therefore, starting to caress, ask the woman, touching which side gives her more vivid sensations. Or is it worth finding out experimentally.

4. Draw with your tongue

Working with the clitoris can be turned into a game by using your imagination. For example, imagine that you are drawing a fence: move your finger or tongue in the area of ​​the clitoris from bottom to top, as if building board after board. The second option is to simulate the circular motion of the car wiper from side to side with your finger or tongue.

5. Remember the depth

Usually, when touching the clitoris, men focus only on its outer, convex region. But this organ also has an internal part hidden under the skin: its two legs extend up to 10 cm deep into the body.

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Their sensitivity is lower than that of the head. However, you shouldn’t forget about the legs either. Gently but persistently massage the areas on both sides of the clitoris with your fingers, located 3-5 centimeters below (closer to the anus) of its head.

6. Play like a harmonica

Shape your lips into an “o” and grab the head of the clitoris. Caress it with your tongue, and then start gently blowing air into it – as if you were playing a harmonica. The warm, moist breath and the vibrations generated make women feel amazingly pleasant.

7. Use water

Clit play can be started in the bathroom. Using the handheld showerhead, gently massage the inner thighs and the area around the clitoris with warm water under gentle pressure, sometimes touching the head.

8. Massage your penis

This is one of the most exciting (according to women themselves) techniques. Use your own erect penis to massage the clitoris and the area around it. You can pick it up like a vibrator. During fondling, sometimes lift the hood with your penis – a small strip of skin that covers the clitoris from above. This will give a woman a particularly vivid sensation.

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How to get rid of snoring in a woman’s sleep: description of the disease, causes, symptoms, cost of treatment in Moscow

How to get rid of snoring in a woman’s sleep is of interest to many.The weaker sex, albeit to a lesser extent than the strong, still faces a problem. Snoring is actually not as harmless as it might seem at first glance, and therefore it is necessary to treat it as soon as its presence is detected. Most often, in women, the appearance of snoring indicates health problems. It is extremely rare to eliminate the phenomenon on your own at home, since for successful treatment it is necessary to know the reasons why breathing disorder occurs during sleep.The very same mechanism of snoring is directly related to the violation of air circulation in the airways due to their narrowing, as a result of which there is tissue vibration and sound appears.

Snoring in women is dangerous at any age, but it should be taken especially seriously during pregnancy. During the carrying of a child, the woman’s body often suffers from a lack of oxygen, and with the development of snoring during sleep, the disturbed flow of air into the body further aggravates the situation.As a result of the occurrence of hypoxia, not only the mother’s organism begins to suffer, but also the child’s, from which, after birth, developmental disorders may appear. In especially severe cases, even intrauterine fetal death is possible. Also, snoring significantly weakens the woman’s body, which is especially pronounced during pregnancy and leads to the fact that at the time of childbirth, not all systems work correctly enough, which complicates the process of giving birth, negatively affecting him and the mother.

If severe apnea syndrome occurs, in which numerous short-term respiratory arrests occur, then this begins to pose a particular danger to the sleeping person.In this state, complete obstruction of the airways may even occur, due to which, if a woman is not awakened, she will die due to hypoxia. Also, with frequent cessation of breathing, there is a high risk of stroke on the background of severe disturbance in the state of blood vessels.

Reasons

The reasons why snoring occurs are specific and associated with a certain age period or general, which can occur in everyone. Only a doctor can most accurately determine the cause of the problem and then treat it.At any age, snoring in women can have the following reasons:

• Sleeping on the back with the wrong body position – if a woman likes to sleep on her back and does not use orthopedic pillows and a mattress, then the likelihood of snoring is very high. This is due to the fact that in this position, if the body is in an anatomically incorrect posture, the soft palate sinks and, as a result, breathing is disturbed;

• inflammatory diseases of the nose and pharynx in acute or chronic form – with them there is swelling of the tissues and a significant narrowing of the respiratory passage.As a result, snoring develops;

• obesity – fat cells are deposited in the area of ​​the nasopharynx, due to which it narrows and air circulation is disturbed;

• 90,097 disorders in the development of the respiratory tract, jaw apparatus and nose – even an incorrect bite can provoke the appearance of snoring.

Specific reasons for the appearance of the problem, which are associated with certain stages in a woman’s life, are:

• pregnancy period – when carrying a child, snoring in women is a fairly common cause and is associated with hormonal processes in the body, as well as the appearance of edema and a sharp increase in weight…. About how to solve such a problem, you should consult with your gynecologist;

• 90,097 postpartum period – most often the cause of the problem is associated with excess weight gain. In order to get rid of an unpleasant and dangerous phenomenon, it is required to reduce weight to normal. An endocrinologist can help if necessary;

• menopause – in this condition, snoring develops in women very often.During such a period, due to violent hormonal changes, the work of most systems and organs is disrupted, which provokes snoring against the background of excessive muscle laxity.

Since snoring in women is not only unpleasant, but also a dangerous phenomenon, it must be treated immediately after it has arisen. It is possible to expect that the problem will go away on its own only in the case of acute rhinitis or other viral infections, due to which nasal congestion occurs.In such a situation, the problem will disappear on its own as soon as the runny nose and nasal congestion are eliminated. In other cases, the doctor will determine how to get rid of snoring for a woman.

Who heals

Faced with snoring, women are often lost, not knowing which of the doctors to turn to for help, since there is no specialist who would deal only with this problem. Confusion with who exactly needs to be consulted often becomes a reason for refusing to see a doctor.

In fact, when snoring appears, it is necessary to visit an otolaryngologist first for treatment. If everything is in order with the ENT organs, and there is no excess weight, then the dentist should deal with the problem, since in such a situation snoring indicates that the bite is broken. As a result of this change, the lower jaw is in the wrong position and the tone of the palate muscles is disturbed, provoking the development of the problem. Sometimes surgery by a dentist may be required to correct bite problems.

If possible, it is useful to consult a doctor who specializes in sleep disorders. Somnologists are not present in all medical institutions. Finding such a specialist can be difficult.

Treatment methods

To treat a girl’s problem, first of all, it is necessary to establish what is the reason that provoked the appearance of snoring. After that, the doctor will prescribe a therapy that will be as effective as possible. It is highly undesirable to try to treat snoring on your own, as this can only worsen the condition if the remedy is chosen incorrectly.To eliminate the disease, the following are used:

• 90,097 therapeutic exercises;

• medicinal products;

• 90,097 operation;

• fixtures.

Folk remedies for fighting snoring at home are ineffective. The only exception will be snoring against the background of rhinitis, which does not last long and goes away with nasal congestion.

Therapeutic exercises

Exercises are prescribed for the tongue and soft palate. They are only effective if the problem is minor and the gymnastics is performed correctly and regularly. In other situations, such treatment does not make sense. The complex should be selected for the patient individually, depending on what the main problem of snoring is and what muscle group needs to be trained and strengthened. Gymnastics is needed daily for at least two months.A specialist will show you how to perform the necessary exercises.

Medicines

In some cases, only medicines that have a vasoconstrictor effect or tone the muscles of the soft palate help to get rid of snoring. In order to prescribe the right medicine, the doctor needs to determine what caused the snoring: swelling in the nasal cavity or sinking of the soft palate due to the low tone of his muscles.

If the whole problem is nasal congestion and swelling of its mucous membrane, then to solve it, nasal vasoconstrictor drops are needed, which will be used in parallel with the main treatment of the disease that has a negative effect on the nasal mucosa.When the problem is in the muscles of the palate, then special medicinal sprays are used to irrigate the pharynx and palate.

Sometimes patients are prescribed to fix the problem and lozenge tablets. Such funds relax the nasopharynx and increase the tone of the palate muscles, which is necessary for proper breathing. These drugs are prescribed only as part of a comprehensive treatment. On their own, they will not be able to solve the problem sufficiently, and she will return regularly.

Operation

Surgery is required only if there are irregularities in the structure of the nose or defects in the nasal septum.Also, such treatment is indicated for proliferation of lymphoid tissue and polyps. Another reason for the operation is the neglect of the problem, when the tissues of the pharynx are significantly atrophied. Mainly laser treatment is used for therapy, which is minimally invasive and highly effective.

Attachments

Snoring devices are popular enough to allow women to remedy the problem in many cases.