Office crushes can make you more productive — Quartz at Work

Against all odds, office romances are thriving.

Despite the fact that many workplaces have been forced to go virtual during the pandemic, the latest survey from the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) shows a 7% uptick in office crushes. A quarter of the employed Americans who participated in the study indicated that they’ve kindled or kept a romantic relationship with a colleague in 2020.

Alex Alonso, SHRM’s chief knowledge officer, isn’t surprised that amorous relationships have flourished within remote teams. For one, easing the borders between our professional and personal lives during Covid-19 has led more people to explore love matches with people they work with. The range of online collaboration tools allow colleagues to get to know each other deeper and faster, he says: “In Zoom, you’re seeing parts of their personal life much more clearly.” He adds that the loneliness and compounding stresses of remote work during Covid-19 have also made people seek consolation with someone within their company.

The study also found that 70% of respondents have been involved in an office tryst at some point in their professional careers. This is understandable, Alonso says, given that the average American will spend about 90,000 hours at work throughout our lifetime.

Catherine, a writer and athlete who has explored dating a colleague, attests to why the office is such a conducive milieu for finding a partner. Getting to see someone in various scenarios allowed her to appreciate the qualities of a potential mate more fully. “I would never had gone for him if I had met him on an app,” she tells Quartz. “At work, I got to see how smart and thoughtful he was.”

The joys of having a work crush

Human resource managers are first to point out the risks of letting emotional entanglements seep into the workplace. Companies can be vulnerable to sexual harassment lawsuits or complaints about favoritism, for instance.

But there can be upsides to harboring an office crush too. “You’ll start to see that people will actually become much more invested in their work and become more productive,” Alonso explains. “It provides a reason for them to be more engaged in their work, at least for the first year or so of the relationship.”

To his point, a 2016 focus group study published in the International Journal of Psychological Studies outlined how workplace romances can bolster morale. The paper, titled “Workplace Romances: ‘Going to Work Is Amazing and Really Fun’” cites several benefits:

Many participants expressed their pleasure in going to work when they were in a workplace romance. One participant said the relationship energized him to work even harder and another said this euphoria motivated her to work more. A woman described spending time in the morning trying to be attractive to her new partner: “Suddenly, it was great to go to work. I took more time with my appearance. It was fun to paint my nails. I chose my clothes with extra care. ” The men also described their renewed pleasure in going to work: “I also think it was more fun to go to work. It was a boost, quite clearly.”

Dating someone working in the same company can also offer a measure of support, given the right parameters. Xenia, a retired project manager who is married to someone she met at work, says it’s important to create a bit of distance even if you work at the same office. “It helps if you work in different departments,” she explains. “You’ll get support without having to defend your position in a granular way. Talking after work will be fun because that person would know the characters you’re dealing with.”

“The crush is almost a self-assembled emotional safeguard against giving up and quitting.”

Amy, a former colleague, says she’s never not had a work crush. “It’s unavoidable not because I tend to have attractive colleagues or because I’m particularly prone to romanticizing near-strangers,” she explains. “The act of work itself can often, in small moments, feel dull or frustrating, so the crush is almost a self-assembled emotional safeguard against giving up and quitting. ” She clarifies that she may never act on these feelings, but crushes provide jolts of inspiration to get her through an arduous day. “They are motivational coaches that live inside my head,” says Amy.

These benefits can also apply to “work spouses,” or close work platonic friendships among colleagues. A 2018 Gallup poll, for example, indicates that women who have a best friend at work are “more than twice as likely to be engaged.”

Love contracts and working with office romances

SHRM conducts an annual poll on workplace romances to help companies anticipate legal risks. The Virginia-based nonprofit advises organizations about so-called “love contracts,” or corporate policies that address interpersonal relationships among employees. With #MeToo cases and harassment complaints going public, many companies are explicitly outlining rules of engagement in their employee handbooks. One dating policy common among tech companies like Airbnb, Google, and Facebook involves a stipulation against pursuing a coworker if he or she has declined your first invitation.

Alonso, who has worked in HR departments in Latin America, says that worrying about office romance-centered lawsuits tends to be more common in the US and the UK. He cautions against being overly prescriptive with love contracts. “The only advice I would give to any organization that’s trying to figure out this out is to put a common sense lens on it,” Alonso explains.”Try not to regulate a problem that really doesn’t exist.” As a general rule, he recommends heeding the kernel of GM’s succinct dress code policy. “I try to abide by Mary Barra’s guiding principle,” he says, alluding to GM’s CEO. “In this case, it would be ‘act appropriately.’”

Think Your Coworker Has a Secret Crush on You? Here Are 7 Signs You Might Be Right

Wondering if that guy who sits next to you has a crush on you? Or maybe it’s the woman you always end up sharing your lunch break with, the one who always makes sure to bring extra cookies so she can share them with you. If you feel like you’re picking up vibes from a coworker, check out these seven signs of a secret crush at work to know if they’re crushing on you for sure.

7 signs of a secret crush at work.

1. They’re your constant work buddy.

Somehow, you two always end up sitting together at meetings or being in the same group going to lunch. Even if you work in different areas, departments or on entirely different floors, you still end up seeing them with a higher degree of frequency than most of your other coworkers. This could be by design because they want more face time with you.

2. They remember tiny details about you.

This is one of the classic signs that someone likes you. If your coworker remembers the name of your beloved childhood pet (which you only mentioned once), as well as the date of your work anniversary, this tells you that they’re paying particular attention to everything you say. This is one of the most solid signs of a secret crush at work.

3. They do more favors for you than any other coworker.

A coworker who always seems willing to jump in and help you deal with a particularly difficult task or even customer is clearly prioritizing you. This means you’re special to them in some way. Most people enjoy helping those they care about, so lending you a hand could be a sign of some serious feelings on their part.

4. Your schedules have begun to synch up.

If your job involves shift work, then you know how variable that kind of schedule can be. You usually end up working a little bit with everyone. Yet if you suddenly find yourself working every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday afternoon with the same person, chances are high this could be by design as well. They might be switching shifts with other coworkers or even requesting to be scheduled on those days specifically to work with you.

5. They linger over work chats.

So, maybe they come to your desk with a simple question about the work you’re both doing… and then find a way to draw the conversation out and stay a while. And this has happened often enough that they now know all about your hobbies and interests and even remember to ask about your nephew’s birthday party this weekend. They obviously want to spend more time with you, making this one of the most reliable signs of a secret crush at work.

6. They often invite you to after-work get-togethers.

You might even be the first person they approach before inviting anybody else, and they check with you to see if you’re going before committing to someone else’s invitation. This could definitely be a sign of a secret crush at work and also mean they’re working up the nerve to maybe ask you out for a one-on-one drink. If you’re still not sure, take note of their reaction the next time you can’t attend. If they’re notably disappointed or even outright chooses not to go, this is a good sign of some strong feelings as well.

7. Other coworkers start asking about you and your best work buddy.

Because it might seem to them like you’re a little bit more than just work buddies. You might take for granted the fact that you grab coffee or lunch together, that you share and vent about work together because hey, you’re buds. But if your coworkers are sensing that there’s more to it than that, pay a little more attention to just how your best bud acts around you. Those coworkers may be right about the fact that there are more than just friend vibes happening here.

What to do about a coworker’s crush.

If you’re into it…

• Return their attention by being an active participant in all of your conversations.
• Get to know them as much as they’ve tried to get to know you.
• Invite them out for an after-work drink and, if you’re feeling bold, make sure it’s just the two of you.
• Let them know how you feel, while also establishing some “while we’re at work” guidelines before moving forward.

If you’re not into it…

• Be friendly but not too friendly since this will only encourage your coworker’s efforts.
• Try to avoid accepting special favors.
• Always do after work activities in a group.
• If they become overt in their affections, have a private conversation letting them know “thanks but no thanks. “

What if you’re the one with the crush?

Office romances are tricky beasts. For one thing, you’re at work, a place to do your job first and socialize second. For another thing, many employers explicitly state in their employee handbooks that they discourage or outright ban certain types of workplace relationships. This is especially common with relationships between superiors and their employees but may also be noted for coworkers as well. Employers may give a number of reasons to justify these rules, but what it all boils down to is the fact that, again, office romances are notoriously sticky. So, what to do about your crush?

Crushes happen, and that’s the first thing to recognize and accept. It isn’t wrong for you to develop feelings for someone you interact with on an almost daily basis. Don’t feel bad for having these feelings; they’re only natural. What you do about them is up to you, and there’s no straight right or wrong answer. The only advice relevant across the board is to take things slowly and feel your way through this situation with as level a head as possible. Try to get to know your crush a bit more, and let them get to know you as well. Pay attention to how they respond to you. Do you get a sense that they maybe like you in the same way you like them? Then, it might be time to be bold: ask them out or at least have a conversation about that possibility, while at the same time addressing any work-related issues doing so might cause. If they don’t return your feelings? Keep your cool and do your best not to let how you feel about them (and any disappointment you may now be dealing with) interfere with your working relationship with this person or your professional performance overall.

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About the Career Expert:

Heather Adams has designed (and re-designed) many business cards. She also writes, makes pictures & creates little notes. As a content creator, she believes that the art of business is storytelling. From brand work to writing the copy that converts, the power of good storytelling is what builds success. Follow her work here.

Why a Coworker Crush Is Perfect Quarantine Romantic Fantasy

• Dating in the pandemic is a nightmare filled with endless screen time, awkward Zoom dates, and trite conversations.
• But if you’re fortunate enough to be working from home, a solution might be lurking in Slack: a coworker crush.
• Topics of conversation are baked right in, and there’s less risk of doing some you might regret (hello, holiday parties) when you’re stuck behind a screen.
• A pandemic work crush is the perfect romantic fantasy: feelings for a real person without the hard work of putting yourself out there. 
• Visit Insider’s homepage for more stories.

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There’s a problem with online dating in the pandemic: It’s not very fun. 

For those of us fortunate enough to be stuck at home in front of TVs and laptops, logging on to our other screen to chat up strangers is, for many, a drag. All the things that can make dating apps burnout-inducing to begin with — endless matches, trite openers, bios riddled with “The Office” references — are magnified.

Coming up with an answer to “Hey, what’s new?” when your days bleed together can be a Herculean task. And getting excited to go on dates in bars and movie theaters feels like a sad relic of the past. 

But those who still have remote jobs may have a secret savior lurking in their company

Zoom
chats: a coworker crush.

Already a fun work distraction in the non-pandemic world, virtual communication with a colleague can be just the break you need from panicking about the hellish state of things. Plus, with fewer things to look forward to, new developments in a work flirtation can fill the void of going on vacation or seeing friends indoors.

Easy topics of conversation are already baked in

Ben*, 27, who’s gotten to know his coworker more and more through texting and

Slack
during the pandemic, says it’s been a lot more organic and fun compared to dating apps, where he found it hard to “be interested in someone based on a few photos and [their] wittiest responses.” His coworker crush “cuts through any surface conversations,” which works well, because he’s not very good at small talk.

Sure, John Krasinski loves the CIA now, but back then he was just a cute guy with a crush on Pam.

Paul Drinkwater/NBCU Photo Bank

Similarly, Dana, 37, an entrepreneur in the pet industry, connected with someone in the same niche field via LinkedIn to help him book guests for his podcast. The sparks flew when she found out that he, like her, is into Burning Man — as well as art, Reiki, and travel. 

She often feels that men on dating apps “don’t really supply a lot of information, so it’s more based on looks and locality,” but with him, the growing list of commonalities — including their unique jobs — keeps their weekly calls mutually flirty.

There’s less risk involved with clicking with a colleague during a pandemic

Communicating primarily through Zoom reduces the odds of hooking up after too many holiday party drinks, and having to awkwardly avoid eye contact in the kitchen on Monday.  

It also takes the pressure off making a real, high-stakes move. While Ben’s crush “absolutely makes the day less monotonous,” he also said he doesn’t have high expectations right now, and is just enjoying their conversations. (Things did, however, recently progress to a non-work Zoom call. Sexy!)

Being limited to virtual interactions makes it that much easier to follow the usual dating-your-coworker advice to take things slow — especially as people might feel even more compelled to just go for it.  

“Yes, it’s 2020 and it may be more tempting than ever to throw caution to the wind, but it’s better to take a step back and reassess how this could play out,” psychologist and sex expert Antonia Hall told Insider. “If you do decide to feel out your work crush, approach them in friendship mode. Smile, be friendly and approachable and ask them about something unobtrusively personal.” 

It also helps you broach the idea without making anyone feel uncomfortable, giving you the option to pull away quickly if you sense your feelings aren’t reciprocated — or if you feel like things are moving too fast.

Crystal Cox/Business Insider

A friendship between Carlos, 25, and a coworker bloomed after chats about relationships and family. Things progressed to longer after-work video calls — all while said coworker’s boyfriend was away to be closer to family. 

“Although a fantasy, things [got] a little too real” when the coworker asked Carlos to move in together as roommates. But because of the pandemic, it was easier for him to decline. They stopped talking for a few weeks and now speak less due to “a mutual understanding that the things [they] were talking about were not the most appropriate,” he said.

Waiting has hidden perks, too: Dana may not meet her crush until December, when he might visit her during her work conference in New Orleans (pending safe travel). While the wait is long and very uncertain, she sees one good thing: it gives them more time to keep getting to know each other virtually. (There’s also something to be said for the tension and build-up of a longer-term crush.)

Perhaps the biggest benefit of the pandemic work crush is that it’s the perfect romantic fantasy

For Jenny, 24, who went through a breakup before she began sheltering in place, her work-adjacent crush on a peer in her career field and writing group has been more of a “crush of convenience.” 

It’s feelings for a real person without the work of putting yourself out there. 

“I think the crush first arose because he was one of the only men I was regularly speaking to at the beginning of the pandemic — and that was in a mostly professional, if informal, capacity,” she said. “He’s definitely cute, intelligent, funny, a hard worker and all, but it is not like he’s done anything specific that’s charming. ” She said it can be a nice distraction, and that she “could do way worse than fantasizing about making out with a cute guy.”

Crystal Cox/Business Insider

The excitement exists even with short-lived crushes. Early on in the pandemic, Kat, 30, had a corporate Zoom meeting for her former retail job where “the guy leading it was adorable and so articulate.” One Instagram search later, she found photos of him and his boyfriend. But the two-hour infatuation helped her focus on the meeting more. 

Staring at cute strangers in bookstores while briefly imagining your wedding and subsequent golden retriever-filled home together isn’t a reality, so people have to look to the next best thing. And romantic feelings, however light, fleeting, or even unreciprocated, are needed more than ever right now. 

“Having a crush can provide the body with physiological benefits, like the release of feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which could lift your spirits and improve your mood,” Antonia Hall said. “Crushes also act as a psychological motivator that may have you upping your self-care game,” making it a little easier to get up in the morning. 

If nothing else, pandemic work crushes can provide a heart-shaped gateway to learning more about ourselves

Jenny credits hers with helping to “untether her identity” from her ex. And Ben, who started doing Zoom calls with different friends — or on occasion, a crush — every morning, believes the pandemic changed how he views relationships overall. 

“One thing [it’s] done is made me more open and have lower expectations,” he said. “I used to need everything to be ‘right’ in my life before I could date — job, hours, apartment. Now, I just like talking to people. If they’re open to something more, great, let’s explore that. If not, no hard feelings, let’s be friends.” 

Having the space to casually check in on each other, potentially develop feelings over time, and look forward to finally meeting in person is the kind of slow-burn plot that fuels the best rom-coms. (Hello, “You’ve Got Mail.”) You have to admit: It’s pretty romantic.

*Names have been changed upon request to protect workplace privacy.

Julia Pugachevsky is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn. Previously, she was a sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan and a love and relationships editor at BuzzFeed. Her work has also appeared in VICE, Forge, and the New Yorker.

Read more:

From sex dolls to kissing through plastic sheets: How Hollywood is filming intimate scenes during the pandemic

I’ve only dated women, but I like flirting with other men online. Does this mean I’m not straight?

Inside a warehouse of ‘pods’ where cam girls can film loud erotic content without disturbing their families at home

What your sexual fantasies could say about you, according to a sex researcher

How to Deal with an Office Crush: 26 Excellent Tips

Crushes occur everywhere over the place and can also occur in the office. It can be complicated, as many of the workplaces grimace on office crush or romances.

Crushes on a coworker hold the possibility to get cluttered as well, for a range of reasons.

It is usual for workers to cultivate romantic feelings for colleagues as they spend together 40 hours or more every week in a restricted space.

But, office crushes can negatively influence the quality of your work as well as your reputation, if you don’t cope with it in the right way.

It may even be unsuitable based on work surroundings and job status. The majority of crushes are momentary and fade away eventually.

How to Deal With Crush at Work?

Dating is a fun thing which is tried by almost everyone. Though most of the time people enjoy a lot spending time with each other on dates, but there are times when everything doesn’t go smooth.

Dating is surely an enjoyable activity only if it is dealt properly. And one needs to take extra care especially when it is an office-related crush.

Many believe that office crush usually leads to broken relationships and lower productivity at work. But this is not the case always. If you are capable enough to handle your relationship in the right way, then you need not worry about anything. So most of the office crushes do not blossom due to lack of knowledge on how to deal with it.

Now if you too are the one who requires such advice then here are few tips you need to follow.

• You do not have to act even if you have a true feeling for the person
• It is never an act of guilty
• Never let you feeling take control of you
• Enjoy the fun and joy you get during that phase.

Office Crush Signs:

When working together in the same environment and always being with each other obviously generates an attraction between each other. It may be mutual or completely one-sided, whatever the case may be, in no way it should disturb one’s professional life and work.

The best way to solve it is to find out the truth and sort it down. If you find it difficult then mentioned below are a few workplace crush signs to make things clear.

• Smiles at you very often
• Blinking a lot
• Interested in speaking to you
• Grooms themselves well
• Show special caring for you
• Feeling nervous
• Makes direct eye contact while speaking
• Trying to trim down hair or dress when you look at them
• Feet pointing toward you directly
• Mirroring
• Body language changes when with you
• Teases you and acts funny
• Tries to get your attention
• Movement of eyebrows while speaking
• Being protective

There are loads of things to consider, however, below are few techniques that can help to deal with an office crush.

Tips and Techniques to Handle Office Crushes:

1. Stay professional:

When being in the office you always need to stay professional in the office. It is mandatory to build a professional reputation at the office.

If you start acting in an unprofessional way, then matters will get very bad rapidly.

By behaving professionally, however, you may keep matters in perspective and ensure that you sustain your job.

This is particularly essential if you do not wish your crush to know your feelings.

2. Don’t let your crush surpass you:

A number of people are extra willing to take advantage of your feelings.

Plus it is a human tendency to be fond of people they like and care about, so you can be lured to buy your crush coffee or lunch and so on.

In addition, your crush may be completely willing to collect the benefits of that, even if he or she does not essentially feel the same way. This is never good.

3. Focus the right way:

It implies that you must try to keep away from gazing pensively at your crush while you are at the office.

Absentminded glares can disclose your feelings faster than roughly anything else. Moreover, it is unprofessional to stare like this and it can cause trouble.

4. Do not be obvious:

Be cautious of your actions.  Apart from holding your self-esteem, restraining may help you sustain your professionalism and rescue yourself from uninvited gossip.

Your actions can convey your feelings and can be noticed by the guy or others at work.

5. Stay with the reality:

In case you have a crush on someone, it is usual to begin fantasizing about that person.

It is also not rare to start mixing up those fantasies with reality, specifically when you operate with your crush and besides, you work so much time jointly.

It is vital to be steadily aware of the reality, and place your fantasies absolutely distinct from your professional life.

6. Be practical:

You even require being realistic.

• How does your company take on office romances?
• Does your crush throw any clues about feeling the same way?
• Do you actually believe a relationship could take place?

Never let your feelings obstruct your common sense. Stay sensible and make certain that you keep matters in a rational and truthful perspective.

7. Stay calm:

You need to behave as cool, calm, and composed as possible. Don’t become emotional or giggly and don’t even allow your crush to influence you like that.

If required, imagine like your crush is not present there at all, mainly if that is what you need to do to maintain things on a professional degree.

8. Consider the consequences:

In case you really believe you desire a relationship with the crush, you must start contemplating the consequences.

• Will it jeopardize your job?
• What will ensue if you break up?

You should think concerning what functioning conditions will be both throughout and past a possible relationship.

If the disadvantages overshadow the advantages, then, limit your fantasy life totally and divide it from your career.

9. Social ramifications:

If you plan to act on a crush you hold on a coworker, there can awaken serious social ramifications, as per whether or not the crush reciprocates.

Understanding the dangers of these may be enough to finish off your crush.

Possible problems can be being denied by your crush or lingering discomfort if the crush does not reciprocate, or if he or she does, however, the relationship eventually does not work out.

10. Go through the company policy:

If the company where you work oppose or prohibits personal relationships amid coworkers, and you don’t wish to imperil your job, then remind yourself of your precedence.

You may possibly settle on that the crush is not worth endangering your job.

Considering the ramifications of having a relationship in the office perhaps will be enough impetus for you to terminate the crush.

11. Avoid becoming a gossip:

If you dwell on a crush, and the others discover, gossip may spread. This can be the situation even if you just speak about the crush, and don’t really act on it.

Gossip can develop a bad reputation for you for being unprofessional.

If you are concerned about these risks, it is best to not chat about your workplace crush or with colleagues out of your workplace.

12. Discuss with your friend about your situation:

Allowing someone else to know regarding your dilemma can reduce some of the pressure of having a crush you don’t wish to act upon.

Additional to offering the support of a sympathetic ear, your friend can even hold some advice to give. It will be appropriate to talk to a non-work friend.

13. Boost your non-work interactions:

You perhaps have cultivated a crush at work as you have not had adequate chances to discover romantic interests out of the workplace.

If you are working too much or overlooking social interaction besides work, then cause yourself to set aside some time to hang out with non-work friends or visit and do few activities that you enjoy.

Hunt for opportunities to come across new people outside of work, since this can take your attention away from your office crush.

14. Concentrate on positive distractions:

Crushes mostly occupy our attention because we allow it to happen so.

However, if you revolve your mind around other things, it can be easier to get beyond the crush.

Absorb in extracurricular activities in which you gym for fitness, or listen to happy songs, or watch set of movies other than chasing and pondering about your crush.

15. It is not always necessary to act:

If you are certain that you can maintain your work and love life separately, you will even be able to cope with having a crush on a coworker by acknowledging the reality of your feelings while also affirming to yourself that you will not act on them.

Having an office crush can also be favourable at times. For example, it can make you dress better and contribute more in your company.

16. Establish a boundary:

If you are resolute not to involve in office romance to steer clear from jeopardizing your job or some other reason, then formulate rules to prevent any crushes you could have.

For example, you can settle on to just interact with your crush when there are other people present, as this can aid you to avert from crossing over your boundary.

Many times, settling on boundaries can make it easy to divest of stress and run off emotions.

17. Avoid posting about your crush on social networks:

If a coworker has sparked your interest and you are pondering on posting about it on your social networking profile, then think again.

News tours swiftly via the social media network, particularly when you have added nearly all, comprising of your colleagues.

Your posts are a mirror image indicating who you are as a person as well as professionally, and if you are reckless, it can humiliate you and the guy vastly.

18. Don’t fall for your boss:

Persons in positions of power require keeping additional defined boundaries for their judgment to remain impartial.

If you are developing crush on your boss and throwing some cues on their way, then chances are you will be tagged as someone who is seductive and flirtatious, not only by those who observe you, but even by your boss.

19. Do not over text your crush:

You need to understand you are not his or her wife or husband respectively, and neither are you their parent.

When the person gives you phone number, they expect that you will only utilize it to contact them for reasons of work or the occasional team outing and not to enquire whether where they are, what they’re doing, or what time they will be coming in.

20. Respect them as a colleague:

Do not treat your crush as someone too special in the way that you wish to do all to make the person’s work easier.

Respect the fact that the person was hired in that position as the company thought he can tackle things even without your prioritizing their requests.

You will not just be fair to the person, but even to your workmates, who are waiting for you to administer their work too.

21. Avoid expectations:

It’s good to discover someone to encourage you during your work, however, while you will be fantasizing about getting together with that person, do not imagine that they will make your wishes come true by any chance.

Developing your expectations can only trap you in a swamp of unreciprocated feelings, and this can disturb the way you deal with the person on a daily basis including your performance at work.

22. Remember that you are in control:

Your emotions do not control you. Remind yourself, you are in charge.

If it feels as if your feelings are taking over, it implies that you have allowed yourself for these intense feelings to develop for too long.

Control the way you think and feel and channel your emotions in a more positive and yielding activity.

23. Do not feel guilty:

If you have a crush and you start feeling that you have crossed a boundary or messed up your life, it is time to recover from these feelings by again reminding yourself that your thoughts do not control you but you do.

Do not let such emotions grow in you or it will have adverse effects on your work life.

24. Avoid getting carried away:

Operating during most of the day together will grant you with plenty of opportunities to talk about each other’s life and its trouble.

Sometimes a person can object or open their heart to uncover some essential detail. Never get carried away in such situations.

The information is exposed to you under the temporary weakness of the human mind which at times desires to unburden itself.

Convey your incapability to get in the way of their life as they can be the best judge of the issues that they are encountering.

25. Let yourself enjoy it:

Just as you must not feel in the wrong, you must not prevent yourself from acquiring some of the joy and excitement that comes along a crush.

It can also be beneficial for productivity. If you are smitten by someone, you are potentially going to groom well, utter clever things in meetings, plus usually be a more dutiful employee.

26. Is the grass really greener on the other side?:

Possibly your home situations are not as perfect as it could be. This does not imply that acting on your feelings with the person at work will lead to become the dream relationship.

That potential relationship can be better however in all odds you will be switching over one set of troubles for another.

How to Handle an Office Crush Like a Pro?

Romances or crushes are mostly devious and sensitive in nature, especially office romances. You need to act smartly when dealing with such things. It is totally upon you on how you want your office romance to grow. A piece of small advice which I would like to give is, never make it a talk of the town especially when it is one-sided.

Here are few tips to follow when dealing with office romance in a safe manner

• Do not reveal your feeling to office colleagues
• Even when you are dealing with it, always be focused on your work
• Create limits and maintain professional when at work
• Make sure, you are not going against your company policies in this case
• Don’t make the mistake of getting carried away
• Never let them take advantage of you, be it any manner
• Don’t be with them just as you have no choice left, meet others as well
• Make sure you are aware of all the consequences that can come in your way
• You don’t have to be guilty
• Never miss those tiny little moments you get at that phase

Best Ways To Get Over An Office Crush:

When you are working in an organization, it is obvious that you meet new people and socialize with each other. There also happens times when you may get a crush on a colleague. Being attracted when working together is very common, but that doesn’t mean you behave like a pervert. Also, this doesn’t happen to everybody.

Relationships in offices are very tricky, you need to be smart enough to handle both your work and also the relation. There is a popular myth that relationships in the office can ruin the productivity of the employee involved in it. But as mentioned it is just a myth (originated by few instances), which does not hold true in all the cases.

Also, another issue with office relationships are breakups or when things begin to go wrong, getting over such things is not that easy. As it is not the end, moving on accepting reality is the best solution.

Here are a few steps you can try to get over an office relationship.

• Speak out to your best friends
• Be brave and face the situation as it comes
• Distinguish between reality and fantasy
• Involve in social activities
• Try to do creative things like art
• Understand that it is not the end
• Create limits and be by it
• Remove yourself entirely

Final Words:

The attractions occur as you spend most of the day with that person and share plenty of things too that happen in a day.

However, you need to rationalize the consequences of such crushes well so that you do not waver from the current situation of your career and focus on your work rather personal life.

Channeling your emotions become equally crucial as you have to face the person each day. Remember you cannot get rid of the situation but will have to deal with it effectively.

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Crush On Coworker? Signs And 10 Ways How To Get Over Them

It is late eleven on the clock, you are sitting extra hours at work. You get up for a quick coffee break and see your coworker standing near the machine. They smile at you, and suddenly you find their gelled-up hair attractive. You wonder- were those dimples always there? Oh boy, you have entered the dangerous crush zone. Worse, you have a crush on your coworker!

Dealing with an office crush is tricky. What makes the bumpy road full of butterflies more exciting is the fact that they are always before your eyes. You know, how this feeling of crushing over someone is! You want to look at them, try to have a conversation and tell all about it to your friends.

But sharing with your coworkers about your new itsy-bitsy crush is risky since words spread like a wildfire. But not talking to anyone about it eats you alive. You can’t skip work and hence end up getting distracted by your crush all day long.

ALSO READ: 5 Situations where the smartest people remain silent

The feeling is tricky, but we are here to help. Let’s begin with the basics. Before jumping to conclusions, begin with finding out if it is really a crush or just a momentary infatuation. More importantly, be extremely sure that your crush shares the same feelings about you.

Signs that your coworker might also have a crush on you

Directly asking someone about what they feel is better than relying on signs, but in some scenarios, it might get weird.

Working in the same environment for almost the entire day can create an attraction for the person. Sometimes it is mutual, while most of the time, it turns out to be unrequited. It is important to read the signs to know if your coworker shares the same feelings before a harmless crush turns into an uncontrollable attraction.

Here are a few signs your coworker too has a crush on you.

• They smile at you. A LOT!
• They try to make you laugh
• They find reasons to talk to you or always trying to start a conversation.
• Treating you special
• Laughs at your jokes even when they might not be that funny
• They get a little protective of you
• They try to spend more time with you
• When you make them nervous
• Their body language and voice tone change when speaking to you
• They remember minute details about you

“… but what if they are just not that into you?”

You read the above signs if your coworker too has a crush on you and realize maybe you are among the unfortunate unrequited population. What now? Move on. It is better said than done, but trying to make something work that is not going to, is a big no-no!

You know you need to stop crushing for your good, but you cannot help yourself. You search through thousands of articles online, read up books, but no success. Putting an end to the weird fantasies building up in your head is important. You do not want to have awkward eye contact anymore in further meetings.

Some companies even have a no-dating policy so that might be another reason why you need to get over your crush at work.

So, how do you deal with it? Here are few ways in which you can get rid of an office crush without embarrassing yourself and handling things like a professional.

How to get over a crush at work?

Now that you are aware of the signs to spot if your coworker has crush on you too, let’s dive into how you can let go of the feeling.

1. Read office policies

Going through the policies and regulations of your office is important. Some offices might adhere to policies where no spouses may work together and report to the same boss. While sometimes they do not allow any kind of romantic involvement among their employees (no dating policy). So go through that policy handbook and check so that you do not end up in any kind of official trouble.

2. Talk about it

Talking about your feelings is always a better choice than having them deal with it yourself. However, avoid discussing the same with a friend at the workplace or a colleague. As mentioned earlier, words spread like wildfire especially in a competitive environment where people might be looking for one chance to step up on others. Talk to your office friend only if you trust them truly and you know they will keep your secret safe.

Telling someone outside work gives the situation an unbiased and a different point of view. They might give you some harmless advice and not contribute to making it an office gossip. If friends are not someone you would like to rely on, seek a therapist. They will provide professional guidance and reliable advice.

3. Meet new people

If you are extremely sure about feelings not being mutual, start seeing other people. You don’t need any distraction that isn’t going to reward you with what you want. Getting to know someone else and developing an interest will surely make the little crush fade away.

Open your mind to endless possibilities. Single life is like an endless horizon with a plethora of experiences and experiments. Enjoy the attention. Although, this is not bound to work every time and for everyone, but if it tickles your senses, go for it. If you do not wish for something serious, open your arms to casual dating. Set your dating app profile and get yourself going. If you do not wish to label it, simply go out on friendly dates and see how it turns out.

4. Do not feel bad

Rejection might makes you feel worse about yourself. You feel you are on two extreme ends of either not being enough for anybody or maybe being too much to handle. It is, however, completely okay to feel like that. Different people have different ways of reactions. But consuming yourself into it is not a solution.

Cry about it. It can be a good coping mechanism and help some. You are going to feel sad and tired. You might even feel like shutting the world out and be alone. Everyone deals with situations differently, and if this is the way you deal with it, then be it. Get sad but snap out of it after that.

5. Time for some self-care

There is nothing better than knowing your worth and allowing yourself to move on from things that are not radiating joy. What you need is to care for yourself more than anyone or anything else. Enjoying your companionship is better than having to deal with someone.

Start focusing more on what you want- from life, from work- everything. Create new goals to achieve and shift your focus from your crush at work. Start taking up classes you are interested in. Going on a solo trip also gives you time to focus on yourself.

6. Spend some time with your friends

After all, what are friends for? A good support system is what you need the most, and if you have it, you are winning in life. Friends who know you well enough will help to be a great distraction. Spending quality time with your group of friends is always a better idea than being alone and sad.

Go to those parties you were avoiding because of workload. A nice dinner sounds fantastic, right? Sleepovers at your friend’s house or calling them for one is so much better than thinking about your crush at work.

7. Having a set of boundaries will help

You won’t magically stop crushing over them. Setting boundaries is important as you are going to see them every day. Limit casual conversations with them. Change the way you talk with them. Keep the talks strictly professional. Stop going on coffee breaks with them or share lunch breaks.

Apart from avoiding their real-life presence, ignore them in your virtual life as well. Stop checking their social media profile. Avoid chatting with them online or texting them for a casual conversation.

8. Work harder

Get your head in the game. Block your emotional response for a while and start working on those files. Indulge in tasks you have been avoiding lately. Complete that deadline before time. Work distraction is the best kind of distraction. You can get more serious in prospering at your work.

9. It’s time to polish your skills

Remember those art classes you wanted to do a while ago but couldn’t because of the heavy load of files? Well, now is a perfect time. Get back going. Visit libraries in your town, start gaining knowledge, you might never know when you will need it. If you can express through art, words, or pictures, start doing it. Bring back that creative side of yours to life and thank your crush at work. Nothing better than awakening the innovative genius in you.

10. Stay practical

We all have this imaginative world we create in our heads where alternate reality runs by. It is a kind of coping mechanism humans create to escape the horrors of reality. While everything might seem well in your imagination, but start being practical. Do not blur the lines between reality and fantasy. In your head, you might fantasize things with your crush but hold your horses. Be practical and stay realistic.

While living in your dreamland gives a sense of satisfaction and happiness, stay in reality so that you do not land yourself in a bad heartbreak. Don’t let your common senses run away from you just because you have a crush on a coworker. Be rational and open your mind.

What to Do When You Have a Crush on a Coworker

Working people spend a significant portion of their lives at work. Naturally, as people spend time together, professional relationships often become personal. The question is not whether such relationships are likely to develop (they are), but how they will impact the parties involved, as well as the workplace itself.

Source: Image by StartupStockPhotos from Pixabay

Workplace Romance: A Recipe for Scandal or Success?

From drama to distraction, workplace romance comes with both risks and rewards. When both parties are single and evenly matched in terms of position and power, the likelihood of success is higher than alternative scenarios. On the other end of the spectrum, marriage-wrecking affairs and back room quid pro quo arrangements between superiors and subordinates can be quite scandalous and dangerous for employee morale.

Consequently, couples dating at work must consider both optics as well as reality. Apparent impropriety may be anything but—although for some observers, including higher-ups with the power to hire and fire, appearances are reality. An appreciation of this common assumption often fuels stealth dating in many workplaces, even in the absence of an express prohibition of dating at work.

Workplace romance in a post #MeToo era brings an additional challenge faced by employees who are understandably reluctant and often unsure of how to test the waters when faced with what appears to be mutual attraction. With neither prospective partner wanting to be accused of being presumptuous, such relationships often move very slowly—which is probably a positive development in the grand scheme of things.

What about the downsides? What factors predict whether a workplace romance will turn into a story of scandal or success? Research has some answers.

Professional Paramours and Job Performance

Some employers discourage workplace romance because of the belief that it will cause disruption and distraction on the clock. They fear employees will waste time socializing, take unnecessary breaks, or use office equipment for private communication with other employees. But what impact does dating at work really have on job performance?

Muhammad Khan et al. (2017) studied the interaction between workplace relationships, performance, and wellbeing. [i] They began, however, with a research-based definition of workplace romance as “a mutually-welcomed and committed relationship between two members of an organization that may involve physical attraction and activities such as dating, hugging, kissing, touching, and sexual intercourse” (internal citations omitted).

They noted that existing literature on workplace romance suggests that it can be both destructive and constructive with respect to employee performance and behavior. They list some of the commonly reported destructive results—including cynicism, disapproval, and even hostility from managers and peers, as well as declining employee performance and productivity. They note that other undesirable destructive effects could be litigation and potential ethical issues.

Yet there is a bright side too. Khan and co-authors note that existing literature also suggests that romance in the workplace can have a positive impact on commitment, wellbeing, and even employee performance.

Perhaps due to its somewhat taboo connotation, particularly within some types of professional environments, romance on the clock has not been subjected to extensive empirical review. Indeed, Khan and co-authors note that despite the obviously important effects on employee performance and behavior, workplace romance has been recognized as “the most ignored aspect of organizational life.”

Using survey results from 311 doctors from five government teaching hospitals in Pakistan, Khan’s team found that psychological wellbeing mediated the positive relationship between romance in the workplace and performance on the job. Regarding the impact of gender, they found that the indirect impact of workplace romance on job performance was stronger for men.

What kind of people would consider becoming involved with a professional colleague? Research has answers here, too.

Love on the Clock: Practicalities and Policies

Jessica Doll and Patrick John Rosopa (2015) investigated how factors such as attitudes, conscientiousness, prior workplace romance, and organizational policies predicted employee willingness to find love on the job. [ii]

Online survey results from 148 full-time employees revealed that both prior engagement in and positive attitudes toward romance in the workplace were linked with the willingness to engage in love on the clock. Prior workplace romance and conscientiousness were also both related to attitudes towards such relationships.

Their findings also found that the link between organizational workplace romance policies and conscientiousness “significantly predicted” employee willingness to participate in a workplace romantic relationship.

When Mixing Business and Pleasure, Motive Matters

Anyone thinking about dating at work should consider all of the potential consequences—both real and apparent, that can result from such a decision, as well as the underlying motivation. No one wants his or her impulsive moves at a work-related party Friday night to be the subject of conversation around the water cooler Monday morning.

For people who spend a majority of their day in the workplace, promoting an environment of peace and productivity requires a thoughtful balance of professional and personal interests.

Crush On A Coworker – How To Deal With A Potential Office Romance

Fans of The Office, The Proposal, and Jerry Maguire know on-screen office romances can be downright steamy, adorably quirky, and a long-time coming (don’t @ me—these are irrefutably the best film and television examples). But when it comes to shooting your shot in a real-life office setting, telling your colleague you’re feeling them and then promptly diving into their mouth tongue-first isn’t the best idea… especially since you’re going to see them every day, whether or not things work out the way you fantasized at your desk.

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Subtlety is key when water cooler conversations turn flirtatious, says Jane Greer, PhD, a relationship expert and author of What About Me?.

Here’s how to handle crushing on a coworker:

1. Check in on company policy.

Dust off that employee handbook and learn whether or not relationships between employees are even allowed, Greer says.

“It’s totally fine to have a crush on a coworker, but it’s all about how you handle it,” she explains. Before you offer up your heart and soul, know whether doing so could put your career in jeopardy. If it can, you might want to try some dating apps instead.

2. If you choose to proceed in secrecy, know the risks.

“Sometimes you can’t help if you fall in love with somebody,” says Greer. “The problem with that is everybody feels the energy, and people will know.” Resentful colleagues might threaten to expose you, the stress of keeping your relationship under wraps might cause strain, and if a superior finds out, you might get knocked off the promotion track, or worse, get fired.

“It’s totally fine to have a crush on a coworker, but it’s all about how you handle it.”

So, instead of violating company policy, take stock of your options. If you want to act on your feelings that badly, consider moving to a different department, or switching to another company entirely before betting your job stability on a crush.

But hey, if love conquers job, Greer says, do you. Just remember, you’ve been warned.

3. If coworker relationships are allowed, turn up the flirtation—but keep it cool.

“Show them behaviorally that they’re on your mind,” says Greer. You might ask them what kind of coffee they enjoy and later bring them a cup, strike up brief conversations about upcoming local events, or ask them about their latest work project, so you can establish a rapport.

Basically, you want to be thoughtful, but super subtle in your flirting—call it micro-flirting, if you will. “You don’t want to engage in anything that is overt or seductive or that can be misinterpreted as sexual harassment,” says Greer. Whatever you say needs to be suitable for the workplace.

And once your coworker feels comfortable around you, and maybe even initiates conversation, you can move on to the next step.

4. Take it outside.

While you can (internally) thank your boss for inadvertently playing matchmaker, limit the budding romance to outside office doors. Hopefully, through the thoughtful gestures, Greer says, your crush might warm up to the idea of getting to know you after hours.

To keep the pressure off, invite them to something casual. Greer suggests asking them to join you for a post-work cup of coffee or drink. “Depending on their response, that gives you an idea of whether they’re even remotely interested in getting to know you better, or not,” she explains.

Btw, you’re not the only one who’s thought about having a fling with coworker. Everybody’s doing it:

5. If they’re into it, go for it.

While a date with your office crush is super exciting, remember you’re going to be face-to-face with them—at work—in a less than 24 hours. You’ve established your workplace camaraderie, sure, but your romantic chemistry is still up in the air.

Greer wants you to “let your hair down,” but keep in mind that, unlike a blind date or casual hookup, the two of you are now straddling two environments—work and personal life—that you’ll need to engage in. If things work out according to your fantasies, eventually navigating between the two will feel like second nature since you’ll have established ground rules on how to engage in the office. But for now, tread lightly.

6. If they’re not, bow out.

As it turns out, not all crushes are reciprocated (who knew? Jk, I did).

If your crush doesn’t want to go out for drinks, or if they agree and after aren’t interested in doing it again, don’t push it, says Greer. Doing so would “put you in a potentially vulnerable position and put the other person in an extremely uncomfortable one.” What you might see as trying to “talk it out” might make make your crush uneasy and could even motivate them to alert a supervisor about your behavior.

Instead, “continue being friendly and demonstrating thoughtfulness, but tone it [waaayy] down,” says Greer. She also recommends giving your crush some space.

And in that time apart, take care of yourself. “Limit your encounters so that you’re not putting yourself in position of feeling rejected or disappointed by their lack of interest,” says Greer. Soon enough, your crush will go back to being just another person at your office.

Aryelle Siclait
Associate Editor
Aryelle Siclait is the associate editor at Women’s Health where she writes and edits articles about relationships, sexual health, pop culture, and fashion for verticals across WomensHealthMag.com and the print magazine.

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90,000 “I am in love with my job now even more than 40 years ago”

The stories of veterans who have worked for decades at Soviet enterprises cause sincere surprise among young people at the present time. One can only marvel at the colossal patience and perseverance of people who have devoted almost their entire lives to one place of service. In July, Zhanna Gormina, an electrician for the supervision of cable network routes, JSC ORES-Petrozavodsk, celebrated her 40th professional jubilee.Zhanna Anatolyevna compares work with love and sharing secrets about how to work for how many years in one place.

Zhanna Anatolyevna is almost sixty – you can’t say: a taut silhouette, short hair, smiling. I got used to keeping myself in a sports form since school – the ski section has been behind me since the 4th grade. Actually, it all started with sports, when graduate Zhanna, when choosing a further place of study, first of all considered those educational institutions where students are allowed to compete – she planned to connect her life with sports in the future.Such an institution turned out to be the Petrozavodsk city vocational technical school No. 14 and the specialty “electrician for lighting, lighting power networks.” Of the 30 people in the group, only 4 are girls, the rest are boys. After – work in the Petrozavodsk power grid as a controller-fitter.

– Zhanna Anatolyevna, why exactly the power grid?
– You know, it happened completely by accident. An acquaintance of my parents called me to the enterprise, who worked at that time in the Electric Networks.It was interesting: participation in various events and sports competitions, including all-around, shooting and, of course, skiing. We worked with enthusiasm, always supported the team and management.

– Tell us, have you encountered any difficulties?
– Of course, there is no work without them. Then I not only took readings from metering devices, but also repaired them, if necessary. Every day it was necessary to carry 6 heavy meters with you. That was the norm. Imagine an 18 year old girl! I was very tired.Sometimes “bit” by current when replacing devices. I was afraid, but I continued to work.

– Zhanna Anatolyevna, when you just came to the power grids, did you think it was once and for all?
– Of course not! Almost a year after employment, I just wanted to quit, I consulted with my parents. But the leader said: “Zhanna, we will not let you go anywhere – we need such personnel.” And I stayed. And then he was transferred to the position of an electrician for the supervision of cable routes. I still work there.

– Tell us about what you do.
– The work is very responsible and interesting. A certain area of ​​the city is assigned to me, in which I know where each cable line of JSC “ORES-Petrozavodsk” is located. When performing certain work by a construction, resource supplying or other organization, I come and show the workers exactly where the underground cable line runs. I confirm all this with documents. I make sure that it is not damaged. I really like what I do.

– What exactly do you like about your work?
– First of all, the fact that it is associated with communication with various people. It helps to keep fit. I like that I am doing a meaningful job, I feel responsible. And, of course, not the least is the fact that we have a wonderful and friendly team. We celebrate all holidays, birthdays and anniversaries together. In addition, I like that JSC “ORES-Petrozavodsk” is a stable organization.

– This is all great, but what has kept you here for so many years?
– You know, I can compare work with love.There are always those who are better. You can endlessly go through the options, but remain unhappy. So here too – looking for a better place to work will also not bring good luck. I understand young people, now is not an easy time and I want a high salary and a good position. However, I like consistency. I prefer to develop together with the company and move forward. I’m even more in love with my job now than I was 40 years ago. I know everything, I can do everything. I am very pleased to understand everything and understand this. It is very important to do what you like, then the result will suit you.

For 40 years of experience, Zhanna Anatolyevna has established herself as a competent and qualified specialist. According to colleagues, he treats his job responsibilities creatively and conscientiously. Strictly supervises construction organizations in matters of earthworks. He also takes an active part in the life of the enterprise – he is a member of the trade union committee of JSC “ORES-Petrozavodsk”. He devotes all his free time to his family, grandchildren, sports and his country house.

90,000 “I’m in love … with my job!”

My interview to “Gossip”.

While we were thinking about which celebrity to involve in celebrating Valentine’s Day on the site, our editorial office received an invitation to come to visit Tina Kandelaki . Of course, we could not refuse, and one day we went to Tina’s office to talk to her about how she would celebrate Valentine’s Day.

It is difficult to argue with the statement that Tina Kandelaki is perhaps the most famous and successful media person in the post-Soviet space.She is a member of the Public Chamber and the host of two completely different, but equally interesting TV programs (“The Smartest” and “Unrealistic Politics”) and the “Alternative” program on Vesti FM radio; is engaged in business with enthusiasm and passion (Tina is a co-owner of the Apostol Media PR company and the Tinatin restaurant), teaches, writes a column in the Russian Pioneer magazine and, of course, brings up two children and a willful cat Brazil.

But what about her personal life? .. Can’t Tina find loopholes in her busy schedule for a romantic date even on Valentine’s Day? And has the concept of love changed for her after last year she broke up with her husband, with whom they had been together for more than 11 years? We asked these and other questions to Tina when we visited her office.

We are meeting in Tina’s office at five in the evening. Our communication was preceded by other work meetings, but Tina looks fresh and relaxed: she does not seem to be tired and not at all nervous.

There is nothing superfluous in the office: work and coffee tables, shelving, sofa. On one wall – a photo collage with a huge heart, on the other – personal photos of Tina and her children, daughter Melania and son Leonty. Books attract attention – Sigmund Freud, Erich Fromm, a biography of Steve Jobs – and a large wicker basket with white and purple tulips.“This is a gift from one man,” explains Tina. – “We ourselves do not boast so much in the office.”

Tina, “falling in love” and “love” – are they the same thing for you?

As they say, love is a feeling, and falling in love is an emotion. Only time will help to distinguish one from the other.

Do you remember your first love?

First love overtook me in the third grade. I liked the boy who was the spitting image of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin as a child.At least, his image on the October star. To be closer to this boy, I even moved from the last desk to the first. It all ended sadly: once I copied from him, and they bet me five, and he three. He could not forgive me for this. In the end, all the love passed.

Readers of “Gossip” share with each other unusual ways to spend Valentine’s Day. Share your experience – what was the most memorable declaration of love you have ever received or made yourself?

I would be happy to tell a beautiful story about a moonlit evening, a long walk in the park and a ring that a dove descended from the sky brought me, but, unfortunately, nothing like this has ever happened in my life.And no one even wrote declarations of love in meter letters under my windows. I got married early enough and cannot boast of much experience in romantic relationships.

After parting with your spouse, how did your attitude to love change? Would you like to experience this feeling again?

Surely how can a young woman not have the desire to fall in love? Another thing is that I no longer want to engage in self-deception. I am ready to love, but I need to see reciprocal feelings from a man.There must be a reciprocal desire to build relationships. It’s not so easy for me to fall in love now. I am a strong, successful woman. And I have corresponding expectations from a man. Moreover, love cannot be planned, programmed. This feeling always comes unexpectedly.

How and with whom will you spend this Valentine’s Day?

This is a holiday for lovers, and I am in love with my work. So, most likely, nothing unusual will appear in the schedule: I will do my business, and spend the evening with my family and children.

You know, I have never attached much importance to this holiday. And, to be honest, I did not experience the brightest experiences on that day. But, given everyone’s attention to this date, I hope that at least this year something will change for the better. Then this February 14 will be the brightest Valentine’s Day in my life.

What do you think you should wear to look your best on a date on February 14th?

To look your best, you need to be in love!

What romantic place would you choose for a date on Valentine’s Day?

I am sure that in such a case it is not the place that is important, but the fact that your loved one is near.Romance can be in a chic restaurant, on the roof of a skyscraper, in a park, or even at home. It’s just that a person can spoil any place, but the place of a good person is unlikely to spoil.

Let’s say you have chosen a place. What kind of music should sound in it, what do you associate this holiday with?

Something gentle and sensual at the same time. Perhaps a French chanson.

Everything is clear with the lovers. But what on Valentine’s Day do people who are not in love or alone with anyone?

You need to tune in to the positive and stop winding yourself up, that only couples in love are walking around, and you are so lonely and unhappy.Moreover, while your friends are kissing sweetly on the benches, you can finish the long-started business, go to the cinema or the theater, take a walk around the city, in the end. Maybe in the end you will stumble upon your other half, which also languishes with loneliness.

Let’s move a little away from the theme of Valentine’s Day. Can you tell us about your plans for 2011?

The main thing for me now is business development. We achieved certain results in 2010, and this is a good incentive to continue our development.We have many ambitious goals and interesting contracts. Also, of course, I will continue my activities in the Public Chamber.

Wouldn’t that hinder your television career?

I have no television ambitions as a presenter … The presence of a person on central television is not a guarantee of his influence on any processes. Such a guarantee can only be the number of people who share or do not share your views. Followers and friends who subscribed to your LJ are people who are interested specifically in what you are saying.They will go with you everywhere – on TV, on the radio.

There are no thoughts to return to the cinema either (Tina starred in an episode in the film “Forbidden Reality” and in several television series – approx.)?

No, I’m not interested in cinema. I had experiences of working in cinema, but these were experiences related to finding myself. Fortunately, I quickly realized what was mine and what was not. And, in my opinion, you only need to deal with where you can become the first. Where you are the 25th – there you have nothing to do.In any case, to people of my temperament.

Have you already planned your travel and leisure time? Are you getting tired of your busy work schedule in general?

I want to travel, but I don’t know how it will be in time. But with children in the summer I will definitely go somewhere.

And I like my work schedule. I don’t have to force myself to do anything. In my leading profession, I proved to everyone that I am in the first league and that I can earn money in this way all my future life.And I made a deliberate choice, reducing my presence on television and staying only in those projects that are important to me. I am really interested in doing business. At some point, when you grow up, you realize that your self-identification cannot be purely visual … Although it may be possible for someone, but it has ceased to be of interest to me. Presence as wallpaper in someone’s life is not something that one would like to strive for.

Well, what interests us especially is due to the fact that you are very popular among the readers of “Gossip”.Will we see you more often at social events? Now you are such a rare guest on them …

Many people still believe that attending social events brings some kind of result. None! Let’s remember the salon of Anna Pavlovna Scherer. It had to be visited, otherwise you did not have a proper reputation. And for some reason everyone still thinks that the presence in the salons gives some reputation benefits. But that’s not the case a long time ago. Why? At the time of Anna Pavlovna, there was no Internet.And today – if you have five accounts in the most relevant and popular networks and you constantly write in these five accounts, upload your photos and go to topics, then you don’t need to go anywhere at all. I understand that, and I am doing it. On the Internet, I can control the photo and text, I can analyze the reaction, do work on mistakes – here the self-improvement process is not limited. Is it possible to practice self-improvement at social events? I strongly doubt it.

Text: Evgenia Mavrina

case “Avito Raboty” and Setters

Work can be not only a routine element of life – a favorite business can captivate, inspire and once again prove that an employee is in the right place.And watching such people is a pleasure. The creators of the Setters agency shared the details of the development and implementation of the special project “People at Work” for the Avito Work platform.

Task: to increase the recognition of the Avito Rabota service

In February, a company contacted us with the task of increasing the brand awareness. Avito is associated with a service where you can buy and sell things. However, it is also a place to look for work – here it is found by couriers, drivers, salespeople and everyone who works with their hands: mechanics, welders, loaders.If stereotypes are to be believed, this is all hard and monotonous work that cannot inspire.

The heroes of the special project “People at Work” prove by their own example: in every profession there are enthusiastic people. And they have something to tell about themselves and their business.

Ksenia Zhmud, creative director of Setters:

We wanted to tell vivid and emotional stories in which the viewer would see that the hero is in love with what he is doing. And that he’s really good at it.This is how we wanted to inspire people to look for a job that they love.

How we found the superpower of Avito Rabota

Before starting to develop a creative concept, we analyzed the Avito Rabota audience. It turned out that people who do not work in the office use the service the most. They often migrate from one area to another. And the pain of these people is that looking for a job using services is long and inconvenient – so you have to do it through your friends.

Daria Berezovskaya, strategist Setters:

Avito Rabota is a humane platform.Its main task is to make it easy for the target audience to apply for vacancies through a chatbot or in one click. Often this does not require a resume – according to service research, this is the main barrier when applying for a job with builders, drivers, painters and other craftsmen. What to write, say, a plumber with 20 years of experience, if he has been doing one thing all his life?

Idea: to show what a day in the life of a person looks like at work

We didn’t want to shoot glossy commercials, because the stories of real people are more interesting.Therefore, we settled on the format of a documentary about one day in the life of a person at work.

Sergey Ilyukhin, creator:

I solved the brief using the formula: Idea = brand platform + RTB (key product features) + my experience *. Avito Rabota helps people find their own business + the ability to quickly and easily find a job + my experience as a security guard in the Perm vocational school. As a result, we talked about people who enjoy their work and find what they can learn there in parallel.Personally, while working, I started writing music.

* Personal experience is important, but not always true for most. Be careful!

Okay, what about the format?

We shot seven documentaries – about a courier, a waitress, a welder, a painter, a carpenter, an industrial climber and a taxi driver. We asked the heroes about the features of the profession, the regime, life hacks, special stories. We did not ask questions about whether a person loves his job, but the answers always showed an attitude that cannot be played.This can only be lived.

For the People at Work special project, we launched a hub site where the viewer could learn more about the Avito Work service, watch videos and go directly to the vacancies of the profession he just watched the documentary about.

Cinema, not pseudo-doc

It took two months for production – we were looking for real fans of our business, not actors. We watched thematic public pages, bombed with posts on social networks. There were times when we found ideal candidates, but they refused to participate because they were afraid of the camera or did not want many people to know about them.

So we selected seven people – the courier Rubik, the waitress Nana, the welder Roma, the painter Ivan, the carpenter Vladimir, the industrial climber Vadim and the taxi driver Lyokhu.

Irina Filina, editor-director of The Cinematica:

We didn’t want to shoot a pseudo-doc from an interview on a chair, from which you then cut out the necessary pieces. This format fetters people: they lie and try to show their best side. Our operator specially threw questions to the hero at the moment when he was busy with something – for naturalness.

Each video has a visually different mood. We filmed Rubik’s passage through St. Petersburg at minus 17 from the open trunk, wearing seat belts. A couple of days later, when they took up the story of Nana, the snow melted – the city was already completely different.

Dmitry Kukushkin, operator of The Cinematica:

Together with the second operator Yura and assistant Misha, we tuned in to each character. Gradually people got used to the fact that they were being filmed – shyness and antics disappeared.We tried to make the heroes see us as homies. They also built a dialogue: as if he were not on camera, but with a friend in a bar.

Sergey Brykalov, sound designer, composer:

There is a scene in Rubik’s story where he leaves the entrance, gets on his bike and goes to work. And all this time he listens to music from the speaker. To avoid copyright issues, I replaced the sounding track, which was based on a funky sample from the sixties, with another, specially written by me for this scene.The problem was that when I removed the original audio track, the surrounding sounds also disappeared from the video – streets, clothes, bicycles, passing cars. Therefore, everything that you hear in this (and not only) passage is actually assembled from the sounds that were recorded in post-production. Just like in a big movie!

In the design of People at Work, we took the Avito corporate identity as a basis. Handwritten inscriptions, which were used on the website and in videos, became an important detail.

Alexander Rodakov, designer Setters:

We decided that it should not be polished lettering, but a sketch by hand, because the stories in the project are about physical labor.The lettering was done by illustrator Nina Makolkina, and I animated them and subtitled the final videos.

How the People at Work stories progressed

The different professions and backgrounds of our heroes allowed us to maximize the audience to which we could promote the project.

Yulia Kalinkina, targeting specialist Setters:

When setting up targeting, we focused on the interests of people. The story of the waitress Nana was seen by people who work in the service sector, and the carpenter Vladimir – by users whose skills and interests are related to the carpentry business.

Anastasia Brovkina, Head of Advertising Department Setters:

Since we promoted people’s stories in the content, it was important for us to get the greatest depth of viewing of each video. When optimizing for audiences, we relied on those users who watched the video deeper – on average, 20% of the audience watched the videos to the end.

Results

“People at work” – an image project. How much the Avito Work service has become more recognizable will become clear over time, but from the views and comments we see that our videos are responding to people.

Ksenia Kalinina, Setters project manager:

The coolest thing was to see the comments under the first videos on YouTube. People really liked it, and this meant one thing – we got to Central Asia and conveyed the right idea.

Ksenia Zhmud, Creative Director of Setters:

It’s cool when a client sees you as a partner with whom you come up with how to make the project work. In this regard, we were lucky – the entire project team believed in his idea, which is why he came out so sensual.

Anna Sheludyankina, social media manager, Avito Rabota :

The idea of ​​showing real people – our users – has been with the company for a long time. We wanted to tell what kind of people they are, share their unique experience in work and life. We wanted to make the project honest and humane. And we did it! The comments that we receive under the videos, posts in social networks – everything shows that users see themselves in the stories, they are close and respond to it.

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Creative team:

Avito Jobs (client):

Social Media Specialist – Anna Sheludyankina
C2C Marketing Manager – Nikita Makarov
Lead Designer – Dmitry Korotevsky
Copywriting Manager – Arthur Malina

Setters (agency):

Creative director – Ksenia Zhmud
Creator (outsourcing) – Sergey Ilyukhin
Manager – Ksenia Kalinina
Working with heroes – Ksenia Kalinina, Viktor Veryasov, Stasya Maskaeva – Dariazovskaya
Strategic part , Anna Kostina
Production – Irina Filina and Dmitry Kukushkin (The Cinematica), Sergey Brykalov (sound design)
Designers – Alexander Rodakov, Nina Makolkina
Website – Victor Veryasov, Dmitry Monin, Ilya Zelenin, Alexander Soldatov, Sergey Bortsov, Ksenia Turova, Anna Kharitonova
Copywriting – Anastasia Beskrovnaya, Ksenia Zhmud
Promotion – Yulia Kalinkina, Art yom Kravchenko, Anastasia Brovkina, Evgenia Roslyakova

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90,000 to the anniversary of academician A.E. Fersman – Sverdlovsk Regional Museum of Local Lore named after O.E. Claire

On November 8, the Museum of Nature celebrated the 135th anniversary of the birth of the scientist, academician Alexander Evgenievich Fersman (1883-1945).

A student of Vladimir Ivanovich Vernadsky, an outstanding geologist, mineralogist and geochemist, the largest expert on precious stones is closely associated with the Urals. In 1913, Alexander Evgenievich became an Honorary Member of the Ural Society of Natural Science Lovers, initiated the creation of the Ilmensky Reserve and the Mineralogical Museum attached to it, organized and headed the Ural Branch of the USSR Academy of Sciences as director.

Scientist, popularizer of science, teacher – A.E. Fersman, in addition, proved himself as a skillful administrator: Vice-President of the USSR Academy of Sciences, Secretary of the Department of Mathematical and Natural Sciences, Chairman of the Council for the Study of the Productive Forces of the USSR, Director of the Mineralogical Museum of the USSR Academy of Sciences, Director of the Institute crystallography, mineralogy and geochemistry them. MV Lomonosov, director of the Radium Institute.

Alexander Evgenievich tirelessly created new scientific institutes: the Geographical Institute, the Institute of Aerial Photography, Geodesy and Cartography, the Institute of Archaeological Technology at the Academy of Material Culture, the Northern Scientific and Commercial Expedition (now the Arctic and Antarctic Research Institute).

It’s hard to imagine how Fersman handled all this work!

The Museum of Nature prepared a special exhibition on the eve of this significant date. All excursions on this day began with a story about the life and scientific work of a talented scientist and a wonderful person in love with his work. At the exhibition, the museum staff paid special attention to pegmatites, which Alexander Evgenievich studied for many years in the Urals, Central Asia, Ukraine and Transbaikalia. In 1931 his work “Pegmatites” came out and became world famous.AE Fersman became interested in this rock immediately after graduating from the university, having visited the deposits of precious stones on the island of Elba, connected precisely with pegmatite veins.

You can get acquainted with the exhibition dedicated to A.E. Fersman until December 2, 2018!

Stay informed with our Poster!

Topics of news:
Exhibition, Museum of Nature of the Urals, Museum calendar

What happens to us when we fall in love?

February 14, 2015

Photo author, Thinkstock

Photo caption,

Love goes through several stages, but not necessarily in the same order

Scientists have established what chemical processes occur in us when we are in love.The stages are always the same – but their sequence can be anything.

The word “chemistry” is figuratively used in relation to love, but in reality love is really a series of chemical reactions. Scientists believe that falling in love triggers a number of processes in our bodies that are ultimately aimed at preserving the human race.

Symptoms of love are similar to a painful condition: sweaty palms, loss of appetite, euphoria, blush on the face and rapid heartbeat.

Love goes through several stages – each of them depends on certain chemical elements that trigger corresponding reactions in the body.

Photo author, Thinkstock

Photo caption,

The first stage – the stage of desire – is determined by the action of sex hormones and is expressed in finding a partner

But the order in which the stages follow one after another can be arbitrary, stresses a researcher at Rutgers University in New -Jersey Helen Fisher.

“You can feel a strong attachment to someone at work or in your social circle, and only after many months or years something happens, the situation changes and suddenly you find that you have fallen in love with this person,” explains Helen Fisher …

“That is, first comes attachment, then comes romantic love, and only then emotions associated with sexual attraction. Or you can meet someone who seems sexually attractive to you, you fall in love with him and only then come to a feeling of deep affection …Or you can suddenly fall in love, literally lose your head over someone with whom you had sex a long time ago, which at that moment did not evoke strong feelings, “Fischer continues.

Photo author, Thinkstock

Photo caption,

Symptoms of love are similar to a painful condition: sweaty palms, loss of appetite, euphoria, a blush on the face and a rapid heartbeat

At each of these stages, different chemicals come into play, and scientists now know which process which elements correspond to.

Desire (or to put it more roughly, but precisely – lust) is caused in us by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen. Testosterone is by no means exclusively a “male” hormone. In the female body, he plays an equally important role in arousal of sexual desire.

Stage 2: Attraction

Photo author, Thinkstock

Photo caption,

A long-term relationship is based on the instinct of caring for children and ensuring their future

At this stage, people fall in love, lose their heads and cannot think about anything, apart from the object of lust, they sleep poorly and are always in a state of blissful or anxious thoughts about it.They may even lose their appetite.

At the stage of attraction, a group of neurotransmitters from the group of monoamines comes into play:

• Dopamine is the very substance for which some people inject cocaine and nicotine into their bodies
• Norepinephrine is the closest relative of adrenaline. Makes us sweat and our hearts beat faster.
• Serotonin is the main “engine” of love, a lack of it leads to depression, and an overabundance – to natural madness.

Stage 3: Attachment

These are the feelings that arise in us if the relationship is destined to last a long time.If the attraction stage continued indefinitely, it is unlikely that anything worthwhile would come out of them, except for a bunch of children.

Photo author, Science Photo Library

Photo caption,

Oxytocin is responsible for a strong emotional bond between mother and child

Affection is a long-term voluntary commitment, it is a bond between people who decide to create a union and have offspring.

At this stage, the nervous system releases two hormones into the body that scientists believe are responsible for the social connection between people:

• Vasopressin is an important chemical element for establishing long-term obligations.Experiments on mice suggest that as soon as the amount of vasopressin in males decreases, their ability to mate with a female immediately decreases. They stop caring for the female and become indifferent to the attention to her from other males.
• Oxytocin – secreted by the hypothalamus during childbirth, and also helps the mammary glands to produce milk. Socially, it helps to strengthen the bond between mother and child. In addition, this hormone is released in both men and women during orgasm and – as scientists believe – brings partners together emotionally.According to theory, the more sex you have with your partner, the stronger your relationship!

Office of Extracurricular Activities – Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2020, Valentine’s Day, Office of Extracurricular Activities

organized an evening in the cinema-concert hall, which was attended by students,

living in hostels Financial University.

Students prepared 7 vocal numbers, played various instruments – violin, guitar, piano, performed several dance numbers in the rhythm of “bachata” and modern dance, as well as children who recited poems of their own composition.

The program of the concert was opened by the post-graduate student of the Faculty of Financial Markets Gleb Turzhansky with the piano suite “Pirates Forever” by the composer Klaus Badelt, masterly performing the work to thunderous applause and shouts of “Bravo”.

Russian and foreign students took part in the concert. So the Mongolian student Tsendsuren Avirsad performed a very beautiful work on the violin about nature and the Mongolian steppes. Andia Prado Elisabeth Cinderella, a 1st year graduate student of the Faculty of Law from distant Peru, sang a song in Spanish about “Woman in Love”.

Dmitry Bely, a third-year student of the Faculty of PMiIT, pampered the audience with heartfelt poems of his own composition entitled “The Blade of Love”, and Dmitry Lobanov read the author’s poem “Dream”.

The audience revived when the fiery dance duet Josed Diamand Carillo and Anastasia Selkina appeared on the stage, performing the Latin American dance “Bachata”.

Nikita Izvarin and Anar Mirzoev from the hostel on B. Galushkina Street sang the song “I am what I need”, demonstrating good voices and playing the instruments.But the audience froze when Ivan Fevralev, a 3rd year student of the FSiP, showed his guitar playing, it was grandiose!

One of the discoveries of the evening was the song “Never enough” performed by Anna Aisha Sibanda, a preparatory student from Botswana. She has an incredible talent, the audience supported her with applause at the time of her performance.

Students from the hostel on Kolomenskoye Krokhina Daria and Yurchenko Anastasia performed the dance “Jus”, and a group of students from the hostel B.Galushkina – E. Tashchyan, A. Kiryash, M. Baranova, N. Gerasimova, M. Ryabinina performed with a dance miniature “7 RINGS” and set the audience in a cheerful mood.

Karina Unacheva and Mukhammadberuni prepared a vocal number – the song “Wonderwall”. For an encore, they had to perform another song, which the audience sang along with.

Has repeatedly and successfully participated in concerts held by the Office of Extracurricular Activities Anudar Bayar. At the evening, she performed with the song “Can’t help falling in love with you”, which was also picked up by the audience and supported her with prolonged applause.

Among the performers there were many talented students, including the 3rd year student of the Faculty of International Economic Relations Alexander Bondarev, who sang his own song “SAY”, written in English.

At the end of the concert, Elizaveta Petelina sang the song of the Marseille group “This is a song for you”, which was also sang along with the whole audience.

Separately, I would like to highlight our professional presenters – Anna Khadzhi and Daniil Kotova, who decorated the concert, representing each participant in the concert, helping them cope with the excitement behind the scenes.