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Average milestones for babies. Baby Developmental Milestones: A Comprehensive Guide to Your Child’s First Two Years

When do babies typically start crawling. How many words should a one-year-old say. What are the key developmental milestones for babies in their first two years. Discover the answers and more in this comprehensive guide.

The First Month: Early Signs of Development

The journey of a newborn’s development begins right from day one. In the first month, babies exhibit several crucial milestones that indicate healthy growth. What are these early signs?

  • Jerky, quivering arm movements
  • Bringing hands near face
  • Keeping hands in tight fists
  • Moving head from side to side while lying on stomach
  • Focusing on objects 8 to 12 inches away
  • Preferring human faces over other shapes
  • Showing preference for black-and-white or high-contrast patterns
  • Demonstrating excellent hearing abilities
  • Recognizing some sounds, including parents’ voices

These initial developments lay the foundation for more complex skills that will emerge in the coming months. It’s important to note that while these milestones serve as general guidelines, each baby develops at their own pace.

Three-Month Milestones: Emerging Motor Skills and Social Awareness

By the end of the third month, babies typically show significant progress in their physical and social development. What changes can parents expect to see?

  • Raising head and chest when lying on stomach
  • Supporting upper body with arms when lying on stomach
  • Stretching legs out and kicking when lying on stomach or back
  • Pushing down on legs when feet are placed on a firm surface
  • Opening and shutting hands
  • Bringing hands to mouth
  • Grabbing and shaking hand toys
  • Following moving objects with eyes
  • Watching faces closely
  • Recognizing familiar objects and people at a distance
  • Starting to use hands and eyes in coordination
  • Beginning to babble and imitate some sounds
  • Smiling at the sound of parents’ voices
  • Enjoying playing with other people
  • Potentially crying when playing stops

These developments indicate a growing awareness of the world around them and the beginnings of social interaction. Parents may notice their baby becoming more responsive and engaging during this period.

Seventh-Month Achievements: Mobility and Communication Advancements

The seventh month marks a period of rapid development in mobility and communication skills. What significant milestones do babies typically reach by this age?

  • Rolling over both ways (stomach to back and back to stomach)
  • Sitting up
  • Reaching for objects with hands
  • Transferring objects from one hand to the other
  • Supporting whole weight on legs when held upright
  • Developing full-color vision and mature distance vision
  • Using voice to express joy and displeasure
  • Responding to own name
  • Babbling chains of consonants (e.g., “ba-ba-ba-ba”)
  • Distinguishing emotions by tone of voice
  • Exploring objects with hands and mouth
  • Struggling to get objects that are out of reach
  • Enjoying playing peek-a-boo
  • Showing interest in mirror images

These developments signify a growing independence and curiosity about the world. Babies at this stage are becoming more mobile and interactive, presenting new challenges and joys for parents.

First Birthday Milestones: Walking, Talking, and Fine Motor Skills

The first birthday is a significant milestone in itself, but it also marks a period of remarkable development. What skills do most babies acquire by their first year?

  • Sitting without assistance
  • Getting into hands-and-knees position
  • Crawling
  • Pulling self up to stand
  • Walking while holding onto furniture, and possibly taking a few steps without support
  • Using pincer grasp (thumb and forefinger)
  • Saying “dada” and “mama”
  • Using exclamations, such as “oh-oh!”
  • Trying to imitate words
  • Responding to “no” and simple verbal requests
  • Using simple gestures, such as shaking head “no” and waving bye-bye
  • Exploring objects in many ways (shaking, banging, throwing, dropping)
  • Beginning to use objects correctly (drinking from cup, brushing hair)
  • Finding hidden objects easily
  • Looking at correct picture when an image is named

These developments represent a significant leap in motor skills, language acquisition, and cognitive understanding. By this age, babies are becoming increasingly independent and interactive.

Second Birthday Achievements: Language Explosion and Advanced Motor Skills

By their second birthday, children typically demonstrate a wide range of advanced skills. What developments can parents expect to see?

  • Walking alone
  • Pulling toys behind them while walking
  • Carrying large toy or several toys while walking
  • Beginning to run
  • Kicking a ball
  • Climbing on and off furniture without help
  • Walking up and down stairs while holding on to support
  • Scribbling with crayon
  • Building tower of four blocks or more
  • Recognizing names of familiar people, objects, and body parts
  • Saying several single words (by 15 to 18 months)
  • Using simple phrases (by 18 to 24 months)
  • Using two- to four-word sentences (e.g., “want snack”)
  • Following simple instructions
  • Beginning to sort objects by shapes and colors
  • Beginning to play make-believe
  • Imitating behavior of others
  • Showing growing independence

These milestones represent a significant leap in cognitive, linguistic, and motor skills. Two-year-olds are becoming increasingly independent and are developing more complex thought processes.

Understanding the Variability in Baby Development

While developmental milestones provide a general guideline, it’s crucial to understand that every baby develops at their own pace. How much variation is considered normal in baby development?

According to experts, there can be a wide range of “normal” when it comes to baby development. Some babies may reach certain milestones earlier, while others may take a bit longer. For instance, while the average age for a baby to start walking is between 12 and 13 months, it’s completely normal for some babies to start walking as early as 9 months or as late as 18 months.

Similarly, language development can vary greatly. While some babies might be saying “mama” and “dada” around 9 months, others might not say their first word until 14 months or later. The key is to look at overall patterns of development rather than focusing on specific milestones.

Factors Influencing Development

Several factors can influence a baby’s developmental timeline. These include:

  • Genetics
  • Nutrition
  • Environment
  • Premature birth
  • Individual temperament

For premature babies, it’s especially important to adjust expectations. Premature infants often reach milestones based on their adjusted age (calculated from their due date) rather than their actual birth date.

When to Consult a Healthcare Provider

While variation in development is normal, there are times when parents should seek professional advice. When should parents consult a healthcare provider about their baby’s development?

It’s advisable to consult a healthcare provider if:

  • Your baby is not reaching multiple milestones within the expected timeframe
  • Your baby seems to be losing skills they once had (regression)
  • Your baby shows signs of delayed social development, such as not making eye contact or responding to their name
  • You have any concerns about your baby’s development

Remember, early intervention can be crucial if there are developmental delays. Healthcare providers can assess whether a delay is within the normal range or if further evaluation or support is needed.

Promoting Healthy Development in Babies

Parents play a crucial role in supporting their baby’s development. What can parents do to promote healthy development in their babies?

  1. Provide a stimulating environment: Offer age-appropriate toys and activities that encourage exploration and learning.
  2. Engage in regular interaction: Talk, sing, and play with your baby frequently to support social and language development.
  3. Encourage physical activity: Provide opportunities for tummy time, crawling, and walking to support motor development.
  4. Read together: Even from a very young age, reading to your baby can support language development and cognitive skills.
  5. Ensure proper nutrition: Breastfeeding or formula feeding, and later introducing solid foods, provides the nutrients necessary for healthy growth and development.
  6. Establish routines: Consistent routines for feeding, sleeping, and play can help babies feel secure and support their development.
  7. Respond to your baby’s needs: Being responsive to your baby’s cries and other cues helps build a strong emotional bond and supports social-emotional development.

Remember, every interaction with your baby is an opportunity for learning and development. The love, attention, and support you provide are crucial ingredients for your baby’s healthy growth.

The Importance of Play in Baby Development

Play is not just fun for babies; it’s a crucial part of their development. How does play contribute to a baby’s growth and learning?

Play serves multiple developmental purposes:

  • Physical development: Through play, babies develop their gross and fine motor skills. Activities like reaching for toys, crawling to explore, or manipulating objects all contribute to physical development.
  • Cognitive development: Play helps babies learn about cause and effect, problem-solving, and how things work. For example, dropping a toy and watching it fall teaches them about gravity.
  • Social and emotional development: Interactive play with caregivers helps babies learn about turn-taking, emotional expression, and social interaction.
  • Language development: Talking and singing during play exposes babies to language and helps them start to understand and eventually use words.

Incorporating a variety of play activities into your baby’s day can support all areas of their development. Remember, at this age, the simplest activities can be the most beneficial. Something as basic as peek-a-boo can teach object permanence and social interaction.

The Role of Nutrition in Baby Development

Proper nutrition is fundamental to a baby’s growth and development. What nutritional considerations are important for supporting healthy development?

In the first six months of life, breast milk or formula provides all the nutrition a baby needs. After six months, solid foods are gradually introduced to complement milk feeds. Here are some key nutritional considerations:

  • Breastfeeding: The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life, if possible. Breast milk provides optimal nutrition and immune support for babies.
  • Iron-rich foods: Around six months, iron-rich foods should be introduced as a baby’s iron stores begin to deplete. These can include iron-fortified cereals, pureed meats, and legumes.
  • Variety of foods: Introducing a wide range of fruits, vegetables, grains, and proteins helps ensure a balanced diet and exposes babies to different tastes and textures.
  • Vitamin D: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends vitamin D supplements for breastfed infants and some formula-fed infants.
  • Avoiding certain foods: Some foods, such as honey, should be avoided in the first year due to the risk of infant botulism.

Always consult with your pediatrician about your baby’s specific nutritional needs, as these can vary based on individual factors.

The Impact of Sleep on Development

Sleep plays a crucial role in a baby’s growth and development. How does sleep contribute to a baby’s overall health and well-being?

Adequate sleep is essential for several reasons:

  • Physical growth: Growth hormone is primarily secreted during sleep, making it crucial for physical development.
  • Brain development: Sleep helps consolidate learning and memory formation in babies.
  • Emotional regulation: Well-rested babies are better able to regulate their emotions and handle daily experiences.
  • Immune function: Sleep supports a healthy immune system, helping babies fight off illnesses.

The amount of sleep a baby needs changes as they grow. Newborns may sleep up to 17 hours a day, while a one-year-old typically needs about 11-14 hours of sleep, including naps. Establishing good sleep habits early can support your baby’s development and overall health.

Developmental milestones for baby | March of Dimes

During the first year of life, your baby will grow and develop at an amazing speed. 

Her weight will double by 5 to 6 months, and triple by her first birthday. And she is constantly learning. 

Major achievements—called developmental milestones—include rolling over, sitting up, standing and possibly walking. And your heart will likely melt at the sound of her first “mama” or “dada.”

No two babies are exactly alike. Your baby will develop at her own pace. Most babies reach certain milestones at similar ages. However, it’s not unusual for a healthy, “normal” baby to fall behind in some areas or race ahead in others.

The following milestones are only guidelines. Your baby’s health care provider will evaluate your baby’s development at each well-baby visit. Remember: Always talk to your child’s health care professional if you think your baby is lagging behind.

If your baby was born prematurely (before 37 weeks of pregnancy), you need to look at the milestone guidelines a little differently. The age at which your baby is expected to reach various milestones is based on her due date, not her birthday. So if your baby was born two months early, she will most likely achieve milestones two months later than the guidelines below predict.

By the end of their first month, most babies:

  • Make jerky, quivering arm movements
  • Bring hands near face
  • Keep hands in tight fists
  • Move head from side to side while lying on stomach
  • Focus on objects 8 to 12 inches away
  • Prefer human faces over other shapes
  • Prefer black-and-white or high-contrast patterns
  • Hear very well
  • Recognize some sounds, including parents’ voices

By the end of their third month, most babies:

  • Raise head and chest when lying on stomach
  • Support upper body with arms when lying on stomach
  • Stretch legs out and kick when lying on stomach or back
  • Push down on legs when feet are placed on a firm surface
  • Open and shut hands
  • Bring hands to mouth
  • Grab and shake hand toys
  • Follow moving object with eyes
  • Watch faces closely
  • Recognize familiar objects and people at a distance
  • Start using hands and eyes in coordination
  • Begin to babble and to imitate some sounds
  • Smile at the sound of parents’ voices
  • Enjoy playing with other people
  • May cry when playing stops

By the end of their seventh month, most babies:

  • Roll over both ways (stomach to back and back to stomach)
  • Sit up
  • Reach for object with hand
  • Transfer objects from one hand to the other
  • Support whole weight on legs when held upright
  • Develop full-color vision and mature distance vision
  • Use voice to express joy and displeasure
  • Respond to own name
  • Babble chains of consonants (ba-ba-ba-ba)
  • Distinguish emotions by tone of voice
  • Explore objects with hands and mouth
  • Struggle to get objects that are out of reach
  • Enjoy playing peek-a-boo
  • Show an interest in mirror images

By their first birthday, most babies:

  • Sit without assistance
  • Get into hands-and-knees position
  • Crawl
  • Pull self up to stand
  • Walk holding onto furniture, and possibly a few steps without support
  • Use pincer grasp (thumb and forefinger)
  • Say “dada” and “mama”
  • Use exclamations, such as “oh-oh!”
  • Try to imitate words
  • Respond to “no” and simple verbal requests
  • Use simple gestures, such as shaking head “no” and waving bye-bye
  • Explore objects in many ways (shaking, banging, throwing, dropping)
  • Begin to use objects correctly (drinking from cup, brushing hair)
  • Find hidden objects easily
  • Look at correct picture when an image is named

By their second birthday, most children:

  • Walk alone
  • Pull toys behind them while walking
  • Carry large toy or several toys while walking
  • Begin to run
  • Kick a ball
  • Climb on and off furniture without help
  • Walk up and down stairs while holding on to support
  • Scribble with crayon
  • Build tower of four blocks or more
  • Recognize names of familiar people, objects and body parts
  • Say several single words (by 15 to 18 months)
  • Use simple phrases (by 18 to 24 months)
  • Use two- to four-word sentences (“want snack”)
  • Follow simple instructions
  • Begin to sort objects by shapes and colors
  • Begin to play make-believe
  • Imitate behavior of others
  • Show growing independence

Your Baby’s Development Milestones at a Glance

It’s so exciting to watch your baby’s development, but it’s easy to worry if they’re not rolling, sitting or crawling at the ‘right’ time.




Here’s roughly what developments to expect and when.


At a glance

  • Most babies start crawling between six and nine months

  • The average age to start walking is 12-13 months

  • Some babies are saying ‘mama’ and/or ‘dada’ around nine months, and the average age for a first word is 10-11 months




If there’s one thing we know about babies it’s that they’re all different and do things at their own pace. Particularly with baby milestones, it’s easy to get concerned your baby hasn’t reached a stage when another child has at the same age. Development anxiety is common for parents, but try to remember your little one is an individual and will get there in their own time. 

Below is our rough guide to what you can start to look out for and when.

Rolling over

Some babies can do this at three months, but most are nearer to five or six months. Some haven’t mastered it by seven or eight months. All are completely normal.












Sitting

Most babies can sit without cushion props somewhere between five and seven months. By nine months almost all can do this pretty well.

Crawling

The word crawling covers a multitude – bottom shuffling, commando crawling (on the tummy) and crawling backwards. Most babies start it between six and nine months, but others are closer to 12 months. Some don’t crawl at all and go straight from sitting to cruising then walking.

Walking

There’s an absolutely huge variation in the age babies/toddlers walk –and how early they start is not necessarily a sign that they will be more physically capable in later life. The average age to start walking is 12-13 months, but there are plenty who don’t take their first steps until 16-18 months. If they aren’t walking by 18 months it is officially classed as ‘delayed’, but it’s still nothing to worry about if your health visitor is happy with their development.

Teeth

Very occasionally, babies are born with teeth, but most babies get their first tooth, usually one of the bottom front ones, between four and eight months – the average is six months, but it’s quite possible to reach their first birthday and still have no teeth. By aged two and a half to three they will all have their 20 milk teeth.

Talking

Some babies are saying ‘mama’ and/or ‘dada’ around nine months, and the average age for a first word is 10-11 months. However, lots of babies/toddlers don’t take much of an interest in talking until after their first birthday, some nearer to 18 months. As long as you’re talking to them lots and they seem to understand you, don’t worry – talking will come.

Remember!

All babies are unique and develop at different paces – don’t forget, they haven’t read the baby books! But if you’ve got concerns – especially about their sight or hearing – do talk to your health visitor or GP.

Read more about Baby Development Anxiety .

You can also see more about your baby’s development with our milestones chart. 

















what is it in simple words, benefits and harms for a child, where to listen for free

Problems with children’s sleep are familiar to almost all parents. Sometimes the child is difficult to put to sleep, then he wakes up every 20 minutes, or refuses to sleep in the crib. In fact, it takes a lot of work to get a newborn to sleep, but a baby can really be taught to go to bed at eight o’clock in the evening, fall asleep without a breast and sleep all night, 10-12 hours in a row.

But in this article we will talk about white noise, which can be a helper for parents trying to improve their child’s sleep. Let’s take a look at how white noise can help kids and adults, and how safe it is to use.

What is white noise for newborns

As adults, you yourself have probably fallen asleep to white noise more than once. For example, to the sounds of the road, when the window is open, or a fan running in the apartment. This is white noise – background sound, in which there are high, medium, and low frequencies, they are evenly distributed and sound at the same volume, without any drops. In our life, we encounter such noise all the time. This is the rumble of the crowd, the sound of rain, a waterfall, the murmur of a river, the sound of a working hair dryer, vacuum cleaner, air conditioner, crackling fire and others. But if such noise does not always have a calming effect on adults, and sometimes even vice versa – it interferes with falling asleep, then for a newborn, a monotonous sound is more familiar than silence, and helps him calm down.

The explanation is simple. All the time while the baby was in his mother’s stomach, he was not in absolute silence. He heard mother’s heart beating, how she breathes, how blood runs through her vessels, the noise of the intestines, as well as many sounds from outside: conversations, music, etc. All these sounds were constant and measured. The kid is used to such a background, so the silence in which the parents are trying to put the child to bed can scare him, especially at first. By the way, many mothers themselves imitate white noise when they rock the child, saying “shhhhhhh.” Also, often babies sleep well in a stroller for a walk – just under the white noise of the street.

Benefits of white noise for newborns

— Studies have been conducted on the safety of using white noise in newborns and infants. The effectiveness and safety of white noise has been proven not only in relation to a child’s sleep, but also in infantile colic as the main non-pharmacological method, says Tatyana Stetskaya, PhD, neurologist, member of the Russian Society of Somnologists . – White noise can work during a child’s daytime sleep and nighttime sleep, if you want to “mask” extraneous sounds. Its use is most effective in the first 12 weeks of the newborn, but studies have not revealed any age restrictions on its introduction. Simply put, if you haven’t introduced your child to white noise before six months, it’s never too late to try.

So, let’s take a look at the benefits of white noise for a newborn and his parents.

  • Helps the child to calm down. If the baby cries for a long time, and the mother fails to calm him down either by motion sickness, or by breastfeeding, or in other ways, then turning on white noise can help. Perhaps you have noticed how the child suddenly calms down when he enters the bathroom, where water runs from the tap.
  • Accelerates falling asleep. The sooner the excitement of the baby, obtained after a fun game or walk, goes away, the sooner he will fall asleep. This is where white noise can help.
  • Improves the quality and depth of sleep. When using white noise, the newborn does not wake up every 20 minutes, which parents often complain about. The problem of fragmentation of sleep is being solved, it becomes longer, the baby sleeps better.
  • Helps to mask extraneous sounds. This is especially familiar to parents who already have grown-up children, who often prevent the younger one from falling asleep with their games. Repairs at the neighbors, loud noises from the street or guests in the next room – all this also does not allow the newborn to fall asleep peacefully. Turning on white noise will mask these sounds and help solve the problem.
  • Helps parents relax and unwind. With better quality white noise sleep, adults have more time for themselves to do household chores or just relax. In addition, parents themselves can fall asleep easier under such noise after a hard day.

Harm of white noise for newborns

Photo: pixabay.com

Some parents of babies fear that white noise can be addictive, form a clear association for sleep, and then the child will not be able to fall asleep without it. Or it can somehow affect the still immature nervous system of the baby.

— In fact, there is no need to be afraid of white noise, — says our expert Tatyana Stetskaya. – Conducted studies on the safety of using white noise have proven that it does not have a detrimental effect on the central nervous system, provided that the basic safety rules are observed: the sound volume should be no higher than 50 dB (this is approximately the level of a calm conversation between two adults – ed.), distance – not less than 1 meter from the baby’s crib.

There is one more nuance. Often, parents use the so-called sleepy toy as a source of white noise. They have been gaining popularity lately. The soft toy reproduces several types of white noise, turns off when the baby falls asleep, that is, lies motionless for a certain time, and turns on when the baby starts tossing and turning. Moreover, manufacturers say that you can use such an assistant to fall asleep from birth. But not all experts approve of such a gadget.

“Kids fall asleep really well to white noise, but I don’t see the point in these toys, may the manufacturers forgive me,” says Tatyana Stetskaya. – And it is simply not safe to use it from the first weeks of life. The American Academy of Pediatrics categorically does not recommend the presence of pillows, blankets, toys, and even bumpers in the crib of a newborn due to the risk of developing suffocation, sudden infant death syndrome. In addition, the source of white noise should be located at least a meter from the baby’s crib. And in my personal experience, the sound that such toys generate is not as effective as the sound of a real hair dryer or an audio program from a special application.

Reviews and opinions of specialists

Many parents leave positive feedback about white noise. They assure that the newborn really calms down, falls asleep faster, the duration of sleep can also be longer.

“I noticed the effect of white noise on the baby on the second day after returning from the hospital, although I didn’t know anything about it then,” says Irina Moiseeva. – My son cried a lot, and somehow I went into the bathroom with him, where the water tap was open. He suddenly began to listen and after a few seconds calmed down. At first I resorted to this method to calm him down, and then I read about white noise, downloaded the application, and used it constantly when laying down.

“I have two children,” says another mother, Svetlana Barkova. – When the youngest was born, the eldest was not yet three years old, and it was impossible to explain to the child that the youngest should be quiet during sleep. She made noise, played, constantly woke up her sister. White noise helped, I always turned it on when I put the child to bed. He drowned out the sounds from the next room and the baby quickly fell asleep.

White noise really works, but it’s worth remembering that it is only a helper for parents, and not a salvation from all sleep problems.

– In general, white noise really helps the child to calm down and fall asleep. But it is a mistake to think that this is a panacea, – says Tatyana Stetskaya. – Parents should understand that if the baby has poor sleep hygiene, there is an incorrect rhythm of the day, physical discomfort, pronounced associations for falling asleep in the form of rocking or feeding, systematic overwork and lack of sleep, white noise alone will not help. Comprehensive work on a child’s sleep is important.

Where can I download and listen to white noise

You can easily reproduce white noise at home by turning on a fan, hair dryer or shower. But this is not entirely convenient, especially since the time of its use is not 1-2 minutes, but much longer.

The easiest way is to download an app that plays white noise on your phone. There are many of them today, choose according to your taste, read the reviews of those who have already used the programs. The most popular today: applications “Bayu-bay” (this is the Russian version of Sound Sleeper), Baby Sleep Instant, White Noise, Relax Melodies. The advantage is that you can turn on white noise wherever you need, you don’t need the Internet for this, but only a charged phone.

There are also many sites on the Internet that offer to download or listen to white noise online. But, unfortunately, they are not always of high quality and meet all parameters. So be careful if you’re looking for white noise there. Pass by dubious sites that offer a lot of different content, it is better to stop at resources that are dedicated specifically to sleep problems. Before you turn on white noise for your baby, listen to it yourself, evaluate the quality.

Popular questions and answers

Consultant for breastfeeding, sleep and child care Liliya Khusainova answers questions about white noise .

What is the risk of excessive use of white noise for newborns?

Qualitative studies on this topic do not exist, we cannot speak with full confidence about either the harm or the benefits of white noise. The only recommendation that is scientifically proven is not to use noise louder than 50 dB.

There is definitely evidence that the use of white noise above 50 dB is harmful, anything lower is relatively safe. It is important that the device that makes the noise is not in close proximity to the child.

Until what age can white noise be used?

There are no clear age restrictions, but I want to note: the less the baby gets used to special conditions for falling asleep, be it white noise, absolute silence, blackout curtains or a spy toy, the easier it is to put him to bed in other conditions.

This allows parents to lead a more active lifestyle: they are not tied to a place to sleep, they can go out to people, go to visit, go to a cafe. If it is possible not to use white noise, it is better to do without it.

And this is possible if you understand the real needs of the child during falling asleep. In fact, white noise is a “crutch” that helps parents put the child to bed, switch his attention.

If your child is having trouble sleeping, they probably have unmet needs and white noise distracts from them. It is better to solve the original problem, find and satisfy the need, and not mask it.

Can adults use white noise for newborns?

Of course, you can use white noise for adults with the same volume restrictions. But for an adult to sleep well, white noise is not necessary, it is more important to observe sleep hygiene: go to bed at physiological time, put away gadgets an hour before bedtime, do not overeat before bedtime – these are more effective ways to combat insomnia.

Why is it so important for us to talk about the loss of a child

Why is it so important for us to talk about the loss of a child?

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    • Why is it so important for us to talk about the loss of a child

    Why is it important for us to talk about the loss of a child

    WHO/M. Purdie

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    The loss of a child during pregnancy due to miscarriage or stillbirth is still a taboo topic around the world, which is associated with condemnation or a sense of shame. Many women who lose a child during pregnancy or childbirth continue to receive neither the proper care nor the respect they deserve. In this material we want to share stories told by women from different countries.

    Miscarriage is the most common cause of pregnancy loss. Estimates of the prevalence of this phenomenon vary somewhat, although according to the March of Dimes Foundation, an organization dedicated to maternal and child health, the prevalence of miscarriage in women who knew they were pregnant is 10-15%. Different countries around the world use different definitions of pregnancy loss, but as a rule, the death of a child before 28 weeks of gestation is considered a miscarriage, and death at or after 28 completed gestational weeks is considered a stillbirth. There are 2.6 million stillborn babies born each year, and many of these deaths could have been prevented. However, even in developed countries, miscarriages and stillbirths are not systematically recorded, so the actual figures may be even higher.

    Worldwide, women’s access to health services varies by country of residence, with hospitals and outpatient facilities very often under-resourced and understaffed in many countries. As varied as the experience of bereaved women, stigma, guilt and shame are common themes around the world. Women who have lost their children have shared personal experiences that they felt they had to keep their grief quiet, either because miscarriages or stillbirths remain common or because people perceive them as inevitable.

    Jessica Zucker, Clinical Psychologist and Writer, USA

    “I am a clinical psychologist specializing in mental health issues related to reproduction and motherhood. I have been doing this for over ten years. But when I myself had a miscarriage at 16 weeks, only then could I truly feel that heartache, that re-experienced feeling of grief and loss that my patients have been telling me about for so many years.

    Jessica’s story

    All this has an extremely hard effect on women. Many women who lose a child during pregnancy may develop mental health problems that last for months or years, even if they later have healthy children.

    Cultural and social views on the loss of a child in different parts of the world can be very different from each other. Thus, in sub-Saharan Africa, the prevailing opinion is that a baby can be born dead because of witchcraft or the machinations of evil spirits.

    Larai, 44, pharmacist, Nigeria

    “I took everything that happened after my miscarriage very hard. This was greatly facilitated by the medical workers themselves, despite the fact that I am also a doctor. Another issue is cultural representations. Here, the loss of a child brings shame to the woman, because there is a perception that if a woman has lost a child several times, something is wrong with her, and that she may have had extramarital affairs, and the loss of a child
    in that case, God’s punishment.

    Larai’s story

    Miscarriages or stillbirths have many possible causes, from fetal abnormalities, maternal age, and infections, many of which (such as malaria and syphilis) are preventable, although identifying the exact cause is often difficult.

    General recommendations for preventing miscarriage include a healthy diet, physical activity, avoiding smoking, drug and alcohol use, limiting caffeine intake, managing stress, and maintaining a normal body weight. This approach focuses on lifestyle factors, and in the absence of specific explanations for what happened, this can lead to women feeling guilty that it was their behavior that caused the miscarriage.

    Lisa, 40, Marketing Manager, UK

    “I’ve had four miscarriages. Every time this happens, a part of you dies. The first time was the hardest. It was my very first pregnancy. We were so happy that we will soon have a baby. But when we went to our local hospital in the southeast of England at week 12 for a routine ultrasound, I was told that I had a miscarriage, or miscarriage, which meant that my baby had died long ago, although I did not feel no signs.

    Lisa’s story

    As with some other medical topics, such as mental health, which remain a huge taboo, many women report that, regardless of their cultural background, education and upbringing, their friends and families don’t want to talk about their loss. Apparently, this is due to the general tradition to surround any grief with a veil of silence.

    Susan, 34, writer, USA

    “I’ve been dealing with infertility for almost five years now. After I decided to try IVF, I actually managed to get pregnant, but after a few weeks the baby stopped growing. It took doctors two and a half weeks to confirm this. It took another two weeks before I had a miscarriage that lasted 19days. I could not imagine that it could be so painful, for so long and with such heavy bleeding.

    Susan’s story

    Stillbirths occur later in pregnancy, namely after 28 gestational weeks, as defined by WHO. About 98% of stillbirths occur in low- and middle-income countries. Lack of proper care and supervision during labor results in one in two stillbirths occurring during delivery, many of which could have been prevented with quality care and proper supervision of the woman in labour.

    Better care during pregnancy and childbirth could prevent more than half a million stillbirths globally. Even in high-income countries, non-compliance with standards of care is an important cause of stillbirths.

    There are clear ways to reduce the number of children who die during pregnancy, namely: improving access to antenatal care (in some parts of the world, women do not see a health worker until they are several months pregnant), introducing models of continuous care, provided by midwives, as well as community care where possible. Integrating infection management during pregnancy, fetal heart rate monitoring and birth monitoring into a comprehensive care package could save 1.3 million lives of otherwise stillborn babies.

    Emilia, 36, shopkeeper, Colombia

    “When my baby was stillborn at 32 weeks, we already gave him a name. The doctor referred me for an ultrasound examination, during which he told me that the child was not showing signs of life. I knew right away that my baby was dead. I know this could have been avoided. If from the very beginning I had been told everything about my condition in more detail, if the doctors had treated me more attentively during the critical periods of my pregnancy, my child could have been saved.

    Emilia’s story

    The attitude towards women during pregnancy is related to the extent to which their sexual and reproductive rights are generally realized; many women around the world do not have the ability to make autonomous decisions in this area.

    In many parts of the world, the pressure of public opinion is forcing women to become pregnant when they are not yet physically or psychologically ready for it. Even in 2019, 200 million women who want to avoid pregnancy do not have access to modern methods of contraception. And when pregnancy does occur, 30 million women are forced to give birth outside of health facilities, and 45 million women do not receive adequate antenatal care or no antenatal care at all, greatly increasing the risk of complications and death for both the mother and the mother. child.

    Cultural practices, such as ritual female genital mutilation and child marriage, cause great harm to girls’ sexual and reproductive health and the health of their children. Having children at a young age can be dangerous for both mother and child. Adolescent girls (aged 10–19 years) are significantly more likely to have eclampsia or intrauterine infections than women aged 20–24 years, increasing the risk of stillbirth in this age group. In addition, babies born to women younger than 20 are more likely to have low birth weight, prematurity, or severe health problems in the first month of life, which also increases the risk of stillbirth.

    Female genital mutilation increases a woman’s risk of protracted or difficult labour, bleeding, severe tears and increases the frequency of instrumental use in childbirth. At the same time, children of such mothers are much more likely to need resuscitation during childbirth and increase the risk of death during childbirth or after birth.

    Putting women at the center of care is critical to creating a positive pregnancy experience—the biomedical and physiological aspects of health services need to be complemented by social, cultural, emotional and psychological support.

    However, many women, even in developed countries with access to the best health care systems, do not receive adequate care after the loss of a child. Even the language used by medical professionals in relation to miscarriage and stillbirth can be traumatic in itself: the use of terms such as “cervical failure” or “dead gestational sac” can be painful.

    Andrea, 28, stylist and singer, Colombia

    “When I was 12 weeks pregnant, I had a scheduled appointment with the doctor, where I had an ultrasound. The doctor told me that I was not doing well, but did not specify what exactly was wrong. The next day, when I woke up, I noticed blood stains on the sheets. I didn’t get any information about why I had a miscarriage. My doctor was very kind to me, but he didn’t explain anything to me. But the nurses were completely indifferent and unfriendly and behaved as if I had undergone an ordinary medical procedure, and nothing more. No one gave me any support.”

    Depending on the rules of the particular medical facility, stillborn bodies may be treated as clinical waste and incinerated. It happens that when a woman learns that her child has died, she is forced to continue to carry the dead baby for several weeks before she can give birth. Even if this delay may be clinically justified, this situation is excruciating for both the woman and her partner. Even in developed countries, women may be forced to give birth to their dead babies in maternity wards, surrounded by women who have healthy children, which is very difficult from a psychological point of view and reminds the woman of her loss.

    Not all inpatient or outpatient health facilities can adopt a new care strategy or provide more services.