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Can i have a uti and not know it: Bladder Infection Symptoms, Causes, Home Remedies, and More


10 Signs of a Kidney Infection to Know, and When to Go to the Hospital

  1. Cloudy urine

  2. Dark urine

  3. Bloody urine

  4. Foul-smelling urine

  5. Frequent and painful urination

  6. Pain in your back, side, or groin

  7. Fever

  8. Chills

  9. Nausea

  10. Vomiting

But depending on a person’s age, they may not experience all of these kidney infection symptoms. Children younger than two may only experience high fever as a sign of kidney infections, the NIDDK says, and people older than 65 might only present with cognitive issues, like confusion, hallucinations, and disorganized speech.

When to See a Doctor

If you have signs of a kidney infection, you should see a doctor right away. Again, a kidney infection is serious—it can sometimes lead to a dangerous, life-threatening health condition called sepsis, the NIDDK says. (Signs of sepsis include fever, chills, fast breathing, a rapid heart rate, a rash, and confusion, according to the U. S. National Library of Medicine.) Even if your infection doesn’t progress to that, a kidney infection can become chronic, i.e., long-lasting, and can cause permanent damage to your kidneys, the NIDDK says. Kaufman recommends heading to your local urgent care facility or emergency room if you have signs of a kidney infection.

How Is a Kidney Infection Diagnosed?

Your doctor will ask about your symptoms, do a physical exam, and likely run some diagnostic tests. Those include a urinalysis, to check your pee under a microscope for bacteria and white blood cells, which your body makes to fight infection, and a urine culture to help find out what kind of bacteria is causing the infection, the NIDDK says. Your doctor may even take a blood sample to check for bacteria or other organisms in your blood, the Mayo Clinic says.

Other tests that might come up include an ultrasound, a CT scan, or a form of X-ray called a voiding cystourethrogram, which involves injecting a contrast dye to take X-rays of your bladder when it’s full and while you’re peeing, per the Mayo Clinic.

Kidney Infection Treatment

If you’re experiencing worrisome symptoms that make you think a UTI has progressed, your main question is probably how to treat a kidney infection. You absolutely can’t do it on your own. Any time you experience kidney infection pain or other symptoms like frequent urination, fever, and chills, don’t waste time in seeking medical attention.

Once they’ve diagnosed the kidney infection, doctors will put you on oral antibiotics or possibly even IV antibiotics, depending on how bad your case is, according to the NIDDK. They may also decide it makes the most sense for you to stay at a hospital to rest and recover.

After you’ve been given time to heal, your doctor will likely test your urine to see whether the infection has left your system. If it hasn’t, they may put you on another course of antibiotics (and maybe for a longer period this time around).

Kidney Infections & Why You Shouldn’t Wait for Treatment

If you’ve ever had a urinary tract infection (UTI), it can be quite uncomfortable. While some UTIs can get better on their own, most of the time they don’t. If left untreated, a UTI can open you up to a very serious kidney infection.

Kidney infections, medically known as pyelonephritis, can be extremely painful—and even deadly, without proper medical care. So, the next time you think you might have a UTI, don’t put off seeing the doctor.

Here’s what you should know about kidney infections, your potential risk and why you shouldn’t wait for treatment.

What is a kidney infection?

When you urinate, usually your urine flushes things like bacteria and viruses out of the urinary tract and prevents against infections. Sometimes, however, bacteria can enter the urinary tract and cause an infection.

“A kidney infection occurs when a UTI develops in your bladder or lower urinary tract and spreads to your upper urinary tract to one or both of your kidneys,” said Amy Sussman, MD, a nephrologist at Banner – University Medical Center Tucson and associate professor and vice chair of education in the University of Arizona Department of Medicine. “Kidney infections are more dangerous because they can lead to a renal abscess, bacteria in the blood, sepsis and shock.”

A kidney infection will often begin as a bladder infection, but in some cases, it can result from bacteremia, when bacteria gets in the blood.

Am I at risk for getting kidney infections?

Whether a man or woman, sometimes you are just more susceptible to developing a kidney infection than others. There are some things that can up your chances, but there are other things, such as certain health conditions, that you may have zero control over.

You may be at greater risk due to the following:

  • Behavioral: If you are sexually active, using spermicide and diaphragms or holding urine
  • Being Female: In women, there is a smaller distance between the anus and urethra making it easier for bacteria to get into the urinary tract and cause infection
  • Genetic: You may have an inherent risk for developing bladder and kidney infections
  • Biological: If you are postmenopausal or have urinary incontinence, glycosuria (a condition where urine contains more sugar than it should – most common for those with diabetes) or an enlarged prostate
  • Abnormal Anatomy: If you have a structural or functional abnormality, such as a spinal cord injury, a backward flow of urine called vesicoureteral reflux, or a misshapen urinary tract or bladder

What does a kidney infection feel like?

Since a kidney infection is a type of severe UTI, the two conditions can share some overlapping symptoms, including:

  • A painful or burning sensation when you urinate
  • An urgency to urinate often
  • Foul-smelling urine
  • Cloudy urine or urine with blood in it

You may not always have lower tract symptoms, but the following symptoms are very common with kidney infections:

  • Flank (kidney) pain on the side of your body
  • Occasional pain in your upper or lower abdomen
  • Fever
  • Chills
  • Nausea and vomiting

“Kidney infections can vary person to person and by age,” Dr. Sussman said. “For the elderly, it can present with fever and chills but may also affect their mental state, causing things like confusion and slurred speech.”

When should I go to the doctor?

A kidney infection can develop quite quickly over a few hours or days, so don’t wait to see the doctor. Any of the above symptoms of a UTI or kidney infection should trigger a visit to your doctor for a proper evaluation and diagnosis.

A doctor will analyze a sample of your urine. If you test positive for a kidney infection, you’ll be prescribed oral antibiotics and, in some cases, a medication that helps relieve pain with urination. If treated promptly, a kidney infection shouldn’t cause serious harm.

If you experience a fever over 101°F, pain, are unable to drink or take oral medication along with some of the other symptoms, get to the nearest urgent care or ER. For more serious infections, your doctor may keep you in the hospital for observation with IV antibiotics followed by outpatient oral antibiotics.

After completing the full course of prescribed antibiotics, you should feel better. If you don’t, talk to your doctor, as you may need another course of antibiotics.

Is there anything I can do to prevent a kidney infection?

When it comes to preventing a kidney infection, it’s all about preventing UTIs that affect your urethra and bladder. Here are some ways you can help avoid an infection:

  • Wipe from front to back. For women, this ensures bacteria from your anus doesn’t enter your urethra.
  • Drink plenty of water to help flush the urinary tract.
  • Don’t “hold it.” Use the bathroom when you need to go.
  • Avoid using spermicide and diaphragms, and choose another form of birth control, such as lubricated condoms.
  • Use the bathroom after sex to reduce bacteria that colonizes the urethra. “There is no convincing data that it is effective, but it isn’t harmful,” Dr. Sussman added.
  • Postmenopausal women who develop recurrent cystitis may benefit from vaginal estrogen to reduce vaginal dryness.
  • Don’t rely on over-the-counter remedies to treat your UTI, like cranberry juice or D-Mannose, to prevent a UTI or kidney infection. “Several studies have shown no benefit with cranberry supplements or juice,” Dr. Sussman said.

Is it safe to take antibiotics long-term to prevent recurring infections?

While there are some common side effects and risk for creating antibiotic-resistant bacteria, it is safe to take antibiotics preventively under the guidance of your physician.

“If you have recurring UTIs (meaning you get them more than three times a year and they impact your quality of life), you may benefit from a low-dose prophylactic antibiotic,” Dr. Sussman said. “Some may require intermittent treatment at the sign of symptoms, while others may require a single dose after sexual intercourse or when symptoms occur. However, it’s important you discuss the underlying causes with your doctor before being prescribed antibiotics prophylactically.”

Get Help!

If you believe you have a UTI or kidney infection, schedule an appointment with your doctor or a Banner Health specialist who can diagnose and treat your symptoms. However, if you are experiencing a fever greater than 101 along with pain, chills, nausea and vomiting, find the nearest Banner Urgent Care or Emergency Room for immediate care.

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How to Recognize and Treat a UTI

Pain when you pee? If you have burning or cramping when you urinate, or if you notice changes in your urine — such as cloudiness, odor or blood — you may have a urinary tract infection, or UTI.

The urinary tract drains urine—which is made up of wastes and extra fluid—from the body. The urinary tract includes the kidneys, ureters, the bladder and the urethra. When bacteria or yeast accumulates in the urinary tract, it can cause an infection. Anyone can get a UTI. It is the second most common infection, but women get UTIs four times more frequently than men.

Although we use the term UTI to describe the condition, in most cases, the infection takes place in the bladder. Symptoms of a bladder infection include:

  • Painful urination
  • Feeling the need to urinate but only able to void small amounts of urine
  • Frequent urination
  • Foul-smelling urine
  • Bloody urine
  • Cloudy urine
  • Bladder cramp at the end of urination

What Causes a UTI?

Most bladder infections are caused by bacteria that is normally found in the bowel. Some common ways that bacteria is introduced into the urinary tract include:

  • Wiping from back to front when using the toilet
  • Holding your urine, which allows bacteria to accumulate
  • Sexual intercourse

Some medical conditions can increase the risk of developing a UTI.

  • Diabetes increases the amount of sugar that is in the bladder, making it more likely that bacteria will accumulate.
  • Some medicines, such as antibiotics, can increase the risk of bacteria growth, leading to a UTI.
  • If your bladder isn’t functioning properly, it may be difficult for it to completely empty, making it easier for bacteria to accumulate in the remaining urine.

What to Do If You Think You Have a UTI

You may be able to treat a mild UTI at home. Drinking lots of water and cranberry juice to flush out the bacteria and avoiding caffeine to reduce dehydration may do the trick.

But if those home remedies don’t help or if your symptoms are severe, you should see your doctor or visit an urgent care location. There, you will have a urine test to confirm your discomfort is caused by a UTI and not another underlying cause. Your doctor will likely prescribe antibiotics for a certain period.

After a few days, you should feel better, but it is important to finish the entire dose of antibiotics. When you take antibiotics, the medicines begin to destroy the bacteria, which is why you feel better. But it takes the entire course of medicine to completely make the bacteria go away. When you don’t finish the course, the bacteria that hasn’t yet been destroyed can multiply and can even become resistant to the medicine you were first taking.

Preventing Future UTIs

Lifestyle changes can go a long way in preventing urinary tract infections.

  • Drinking 6 to 8 cups of water a day is one of the best ways to flush out your system and reduce the risk of infection.
  • Urinating often and when you first feel the need to go helps reduce the bacteria that accumulates in the bladder
  • Urinating right after sex
  • Loose-fitting clothes and cotton underwear can help keep the area around the urethra dry, making it more difficult for bacteria to grow.
  • Certain types of birth control, such as diaphragms, unlubricated condoms and spermicide can increase your risk of a UTI. Consider lubricated condoms without spermicide or talk with your doctor about other methods of birth control to use.

UTIs are uncomfortable, and like any infection, can create more risks if left untreated. The sooner you recognize the symptoms and begin treatment, the sooner you’ll feel healthy again.

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Why You Should Never Ignore the Symptoms of a UTI: Rose Urgent Care and Family Practice: Urgent Care

According to the NIH, urinary tract infections (UTIs) are the most common infection in the U.S.  Half of women have at least one UTI in their lifetimes. Men are susceptible, too, although their longer ureters protect their urinary tract from bacteria and other pathogens.

How do you know if you have a UTI? The experts at Rose Family Practice and Urgent Care in Vancouver and Battle Ground, Washington, recommend you contact them for a UTI evaluation if you experience symptoms such as:

  • Strong, persistent urge to urinate
  • Frequent urination, small amounts of urine at a time
  • Urine that’s pink, red, or brown
  • Bloody or cloudy urine
  • Burning sensation when you urinate
  • Pain or pressure in your lower abdomen, lower back, or pelvis
  • Urine that smells strange
  • Fatigue, fever, or chills

Most UTIs can be resolved with a course of antibiotics. Not treating a UTI can spread the infection and cause serious and even life-threatening health issues.

Some UTIs don’t have symptoms. If you already know that you’re prone to UTIs, staying on top of your health with regular exams at Rose Family Practice will help keep infections in check, protect the health of your other organs, and minimize your risk for chronic UTIs.

If you do have symptoms, get help right way. Consequences of an untreated UTI include:

Kidney damage

The bacteria that cause UTIs may enter your body through your urethra (the tube where you pass urine), but they don’t necessarily stop there. The bacteria can travel up into your bladder, causing an infection there known as cystitis, through your ureters, and up into your kidneys.

An infection in your kidneys, known as pyelonephritis, may permanently damage them. Damaged kidneys raise your risk for kidney failure and high blood pressure. Pregnant women with UTIs are particularly at risk for a kidney infection.


When the infection from a UTI isn’t controlled, it can spread into your bloodstream and circulate throughout the rest of your body, affecting all your organs and creating a life-threatening condition called sepsis. If you develop sepsis, you may have symptoms such as fever, chills, dizziness, and confusion. Sepsis interferes with your organs’ normal, healthy function and may even cause them to shut down permanently.

Urethral narrowing

Though it’s more common in men, an untreated UTI in your urethra can cause scarring, leading to a condition called stricture, which is a narrowing of your urethra that makes it more difficult to pass urine. Symptoms include spraying, decreased stream, pain, and not being able to fully empty your bladder.

Complications with pregnancy

A UTI may transmit bacteria to your developing fetus, raising your risk for an infant that has a low birth weight or is born prematurely. If you’re pregnant, your Rose Family Practice doctor checks for UTIs when you come in for your regular prenatal exams.

Preventing a UTI

To keep your urethra, bladder, and kidneys healthy and UTI free, the doctors at Rose Family Practice offer the following tips:

  • Hydrate regularly
  • Urinate when you feel the urge
  • Don’t “hold” it when you feel the need to urinate  
  • Empty your bladder completely
  • Clean genitals before sex and urinate afterward
  • Wear cotton underwear
  • Wipe from front to back to avoid spreading fecal bacteria to bladder
  • Take showers instead of baths

Women should add the following precautions, too:

  • Don’t use panty liners or pads every day
  • Don’t use hygiene sprays, douches, or scented feminine products
  • If you’re prone to UTIs, don’t use diaphragms, spermicides, or unlubricated condoms; ask your Rose Family Practice doctor about other types of birth control

Don’t ignore the symptoms of a UTI. Call us today, or use the online form to schedule an appointment.

Urinary Tract Infections (UTI) in Children

What is a urinary tract infection (UTI) in children?

A urinary tract infection is inflammation of part of the system that takes urine out of the body. It’s caused by bacteria. The urinary tract includes the two kidneys. They remove liquid waste from the blood in the form of urine. Narrow tubes (ureters) carry urine from the kidneys to the bladder. Urine is stored in the bladder. When the bladder is emptied, the urine travels through a tube called the urethra and passes out of the body. Bacteria can infect any part of this system.

What causes a UTI in a child?

Normal urine contains water, salts, and waste products. It is free of germs such as bacteria, viruses, and fungi. An infection happens when germs enter the urethra, travel up to the bladder, ureters, and kidneys, and begin to grow. Most infections are caused by bacteria from the digestive tract. The most common is Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria. These normally live in the colon.

Which children are at risk for a UTI?

A UTI is not common in children younger than age 5. A UTI is much more common in girls. This is because they have a shorter urethra. A UTI is unlikely in boys of any age. But it can occur in boys if part of the urinary tract is blocked. Uncircumcised boys are more at risk for a UTI than circumcised boys. A child with a part or full blockage in the urinary tract is more likely to develop a UTI.

What are the symptoms of a UTI in a child?

Symptoms can occur a bit differently in each child.

Symptoms in babies can include:

  • Fever
  • Bad-smelling urine
  • Irritability
  • Crying
  • Fussiness
  • Vomiting
  • Poor feeding
  • Diarrhea

Symptoms in children can include:

  • Sudden need to urinate
  • Need to urinate often
  • Loss of control of urine (incontinence)
  • Pain while urinating
  • Trouble urinating
  • Pain above the pubic bone
  • Blood in the urine
  • Bad-smelling urine
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Fever
  • Chills
  • Pain in the back or side below the ribs
  • Tiredness

The symptoms of a UTI can seem like other health conditions. Make sure your child sees his or her healthcare provider for a diagnosis.

How is a UTI diagnosed in a child?

The healthcare provider will ask about your child’s symptoms and health history. The provider will give your child a physical exam. Your child may also have tests, such as:

  • Urine testing. This is also known as urinalysis. Your child’s urine is sent to a lab to check for red blood cells, white blood cells, bacteria, protein, and signs of infection. The urine will also be sent for a culture and sensitivity. This is done to figure out what type of bacteria is causing the infection and what medicine is best to treat the infection.
  • Kidney ultrasound. This is a painless imaging test. It uses sound waves and a computer to make images of blood vessels, tissues, and organs. It can show internal organs as they function and can assess blood flow through vessels. A boy with a UTI or a girl younger than age 5 or 6 may need this test.
  • Voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG). This is a type of X-ray of the urinary tract. A thin, flexible tube (catheter) is put in the tube that drains urine from the bladder to the outside of the body (the urethra). The bladder is filled with a liquid dye. X-ray images are taken as the bladder fills and empties. The images will show if there is any reverse flow of urine into the ureters and kidneys.

How is a UTI treated in a child?

Treatment will depend on your child’s symptoms, age, and general health. It will also depend on how severe the condition is. Treatment may include:

  • Antibiotic medicine
  • A heating pad or medicines to relieve pain
  • Drinking plenty of water

Your child’s healthcare provider may want to see your child back again a few days after treatment starts to see how treatment is working.

Talk with your child’s healthcare providers about the risks, benefits, and possible side effects of all treatments.

How can I help prevent a UTI in my child?

You can help prevent UTIs in your child if you:

  • Make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids
  • Tell your child to empty his or her bladder fully when urinating
  • Teach girls to wipe from the front to back after going to the bathroom
  • Make your child doesn’t get constipated

When should I call my child’s healthcare provider?

Call the healthcare provider if your child has:

  • Symptoms that don’t get better, or get worse
  • New symptoms

Key points about a UTI in children

  • A urinary tract infection is inflammation of part of the system that takes urine out of the body.
  • Most infections are caused by bacteria from the digestive tract. The most common is Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria. These normally live in the colon.
  • A UTI is not common in children younger than age 5. A UTI is much more common in girls because they have a shorter urethra.
  • A UTI is unlikely in boys of any age, unless part of the urinary tract is blocked. Uncircumcised boys are more at risk for a UTI than circumcised boys.
  • Symptoms vary by age, and can include fever, need to urinate often, pain, and crying.

Next steps

Tips to help you get the most from a visit to your child’s healthcare provider:

  • Know the reason for the visit and what you want to happen.
  • Before your visit, write down questions you want answered.
  • At the visit, write down the name of a new diagnosis, and any new medicines, treatments, or tests. Also write down any new instructions your provider gives you for your child.
  • Know why a new medicine or treatment is prescribed and how it will help your child. Also know what the side effects are.
  • Ask if your child’s condition can be treated in other ways.
  • Know why a test or procedure is recommended and what the results could mean.
  • Know what to expect if your child does not take the medicine or have the test or procedure.
  • If your child has a follow-up appointment, write down the date, time, and purpose for that visit.
  • Know how you can contact your child’s provider after office hours. This is important if your child becomes ill and you have questions or need advice.

Bela Vida Urogynecology

Maybe you’ve never had a UTI. Maybe you
have had one before, and besides it being rather painful, you really didn’t
think it was that big of a deal. Whatever the case, a UTI is not something to
be ignored. Though many women once thought of this condition as annoying but
something that would clear up on its own, a UTI can actually be extremely
dangerous, even life-threatening, if left to run its course.

Drs. Bela Kudish, Vivian
Aguilar, Lucy
Burgos, and the rest of us here at Bela Vida
Urogynecology, want to help ensure that you are always safe and healthy when it
comes to taking care of your body. That means getting help when you need it and
not just waiting for something like a UTI to go away on its own.

A urinary tract infection (commonly referred to as a UTI) is when bacteria
enter the urinary tract and bladder and cause an infection. Most UTIs lead to a
bladder infection, which can be a problem, but usually doesn’t become serious
when treated in time. However, if the bacteria spread to the kidneys, the
condition can become much more severe.

The obvious signs of a UTI are mostly associated with a bladder infection. They

  • Cloudy urine
  • Foul-smelling urine
  • Frequent urination
  • Pain in the abdomen
  • A painful or burning sensation while urinating

Of course, some individuals experience no symptoms until the situation gets
much worse. When the bladder becomes infected, it can lead to a kidney
infection, which can cause

  • Severe pain in the lower back on either side
  • Fevers
  • Chills
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting

If a UTI leads to a kidney infection, it’s possible that the kidneys might
sustain permanent damage. This can make the kidneys less able to function,
causing long-term problems for the body. Also, the infection has a much greater
chance of getting into the bloodstream and attacking the other organs if it
reaches the kidneys. This can be life-threatening.

Some people ignore them because they have had them before and think they’re no
big deal. Others may not even know what they are. Some people are uncomfortable
or ashamed when they experience pain while urinating, so they do not seek
medical attention. Still, others might not even notice the symptoms until they
become much worse. Whatever the case, it’s never a good idea to ignore a UTI.

A UTI, however, can often be prevented with a few tried-and-true, at-home
methods. These include:

  • Urinating after sex
  • Drinking lots of water
  • Wiping from front to back after urinating
  • Drinking cranberry juice

In some cases, women who know they have a UTI will attempt one of these methods
to self-treat the condition, such as drinking lots of water or cranberry juice
to flush out the infection. Remember, these methods can only help prevent a
UTI, not treat it. If you think you have a UTI, it’s extremely important to see
your doctor to get treated before the condition worsens.

Drs. Kudish, Aguilar, and Burgos are happy to give you an exam, as well as
answer your questions about UTIs, their risk factors, and how best to prevent
them. To make an appointment, just contact us at 407-203-9232
for our Oviedo office or 407-203-9669 for our Kissimmee office.

Urinary Problems and Injuries, Age 11 and Younger

Does your child have problems with urination?

How old are you?

Less than 3 months

Less than 3 months

3 to 5 months

3 to 5 months

6 months to 3 years

6 months to 3 years

4 to 11 years

4 to 11 years

12 years or older

12 years or older

Are you male or female?

Why do we ask this question?

The medical assessment of symptoms is based on the body parts you have.

  • If you are transgender or non-binary, choose the sex that matches the body parts (such as ovaries, testes, prostate, breasts, penis, or vagina) you now have in the area where you are having symptoms.
  • If your symptoms aren’t related to those organs, you can choose the gender you identify with.
  • If you have some organs of both sexes, you may need to go through this triage tool twice (once as “male” and once as “female”). This will make sure that the tool asks the right questions for you.

Does your baby seem sick?

A sick baby probably will not be acting normally. For example, the baby may be much fussier than usual or not want to eat.

How sick do you think your baby is?

Extremely sick

Baby is very sick (limp and not responsive)


Baby is sick (sleepier than usual, not eating or drinking like usual)

Did your child’s symptoms begin after an injury?

An injury could be from a blow to the belly, groin, or lower back (the kidney area).


Symptoms began after an injury


Symptoms began after an injury

Did the injury happen within the past 2 weeks?


Injury within past 2 weeks


Injury within past 2 weeks

Is there any blood in your child’s urine?

Does your child seem to be in pain?

Is your child having trouble urinating?

Is your child able to urinate at all?

Has it been more than 12 hours since your child was last able to urinate?


More than 12 hours since last able to urinate


More than 12 hours since last able to urinate

Does your child have pain on one side of his or her back, just below the rib cage?

This is called flank pain. It sometimes is a symptom of a problem with the kidneys.

Does your child have pain when he or she urinates?

Has your child had pain while urinating that has lasted more than a day?


Pain when urinating has lasted more than 1 day


Pain when urinating has lasted more than 1 day

Does your child have a more frequent urge to urinate?

You may notice that even though your child feels like he or she needs to urinate, there isn’t much urine when he or she tries to urinate.

How bad is the urge to urinate?

Severe (very uncomfortable)

Urinary urgency is severe and very uncomfortable

Moderate to mild (somewhat uncomfortable)

Urinary urgency is noticeable but not severe

Has your child’s frequent urge to urinate lasted more than a day?


Urinary urgency for more than 1 day


Urinary urgency for more than 1 day

Is your child nauseated or vomiting?

Nauseated means you feel sick to your stomach, like you are going to vomit.

Does your child have only one kidney or a Foley catheter in place?


One kidney or a Foley catheter


One kidney or a Foley catheter

Do you think that the urinary problem may have been caused by abuse?


Urinary problem may have been caused by abuse


Urinary problem may have been caused by abuse

Does your child have diabetes?

Is your child’s diabetes getting out of control because your child is sick?


Diabetes is affected by illness


Diabetes is affected by illness

Is the plan helping get your child’s blood sugar under control?


Diabetes illness plan working


Diabetes illness plan not working

How fast is it getting out of control?

Quickly (over several hours)

Blood sugar quickly worsening

Slowly (over days)

Blood sugar slowly worsening

Do you think your baby has a fever?

Did you take your child’s temperature?

This is the only way to be sure that a baby this age does not have a fever. If you don’t know the temperature, it’s safest to assume the baby has a fever and needs to be seen by a doctor. Any problem that causes a fever at this age could be serious. Rectal temperatures are the most accurate. Taking an axillary (armpit) temperature is also an option.

Is it 38°C (100.4°F) or higher, taken rectally?

This would be an axillary temperature of 37.5°C (99.5°F) or higher.


Temperature at least 38°C (100.4°F) taken rectally


Temperature at least 38°C (100.4°F) taken rectally

Do you think your child has a fever?

Did you take your child’s temperature?

How high is the fever? The answer may depend on how you took the temperature.

High: 40°C (104°F) or higher, oral

High fever: 40°C (104°F) or higher, oral

Moderate: 38°C (100.4°F) to 39.9°C (103.9°F), oral

Moderate fever: 38°C (100.4°F) to 39.9°C (103.9°F), oral

Mild: 37.9°C (100.3°F) or lower, oral

Mild fever: 37.9°C (100.3°F) or lower, oral

How high do you think the fever is?


Feels fever is moderate

Mild or low

Feels fever is mild

How long has your child had a fever?

Less than 2 days (48 hours)

Fever for less than 2 days

From 2 days to less than 1 week

Fever for more than 2 days and less than 1 week

1 week or longer

Fever for 1 week or more

Does your child have a health problem or take medicine that weakens his or her immune system?


Disease or medicine that causes immune system problems


Disease or medicine that causes immune system problems

Does your child have shaking chills or very heavy sweating?

Shaking chills are a severe, intense form of shivering. Heavy sweating means that sweat is pouring off the child or soaking through his or her clothes.


Shaking chills or heavy sweating


Shaking chills or heavy sweating

Has your child had a bladder or kidney infection with the same symptoms before?


Same symptoms as in a previous bladder or kidney infection


Same symptoms as in a previous bladder or kidney infection

Does your child have any new discharge from the vagina?

Is your child urinating more often than usual?

This sometimes can be an early sign of diabetes.

Has your child started wetting his or her pants or underwear?

This only applies to toilet-trained children.

Did the bladder control problem start within the past 2 weeks?


Incontinence began within past 2 weeks


Incontinence began within past 2 weeks

Do you think that a medicine may be causing the urinary problems?

Think about whether the problems started after you began using a new medicine or a higher dose of a medicine.


Medicine may be causing urinary symptoms


Medicine may be causing urinary symptoms

Have the urinary problems lasted for more than a week?


Urinary problems for more than 1 week


Urinary problems for more than 1 week

Many things can affect how your body responds to a symptom and what kind of care you may need. These include:

  • Your age. Babies and older adults tend to get sicker quicker.
  • Your overall health. If you have a condition such as diabetes, HIV, cancer, or heart disease, you may need to pay closer attention to certain symptoms and seek care sooner.
  • Medicines you take. Certain medicines, such as blood thinners (anticoagulants), medicines that suppress the immune system like steroids or chemotherapy, or natural health products can cause symptoms or make them worse.
  • Recent health events, such as surgery or injury. These kinds of events can cause symptoms afterwards or make them more serious.
  • Your health habits and lifestyle, such as eating and exercise habits, smoking, alcohol or drug use, sexual history, and travel.

Try Home Treatment

You have answered all the questions. Based on your answers, you may be able to take care of this problem at home.

  • Try home treatment to relieve the symptoms.
  • Call your doctor if symptoms get worse or you have any concerns (for example, if symptoms are not getting better as you would expect). You may need care sooner.

A baby that is extremely sick:

  • May be limp and floppy like a rag doll.
  • May not respond at all to being held, touched, or talked to.
  • May be hard to wake up.

A baby that is sick (but not extremely sick):

  • May be sleepier than usual.
  • May not eat or drink as much as usual.

Pain in children under 3 years

It can be hard to tell how much pain a baby or toddler is in.

  • Severe pain (8 to 10): The pain is so bad that the baby cannot sleep, cannot get comfortable, and cries constantly no matter what you do. The baby may kick, make fists, or grimace.
  • Moderate pain (5 to 7): The baby is very fussy, clings to you a lot, and may have trouble sleeping but responds when you try to comfort him or her.
  • Mild pain (1 to 4): The baby is a little fussy and clings to you a little but responds when you try to comfort him or her.

Pain in children 3 years and older

  • Severe pain (8 to 10): The pain is so bad that the child can’t stand it for more than a few hours, can’t sleep, and can’t do anything else except focus on the pain. No one can tolerate severe pain for more than a few hours.
  • Moderate pain (5 to 7): The pain is bad enough to disrupt the child’s normal activities and sleep, but the child can tolerate it for hours or days.
  • Mild pain (1 to 4): The child notices and may complain of the pain, but it is not bad enough to disrupt his or her sleep or activities.

Certain health conditions and medicines weaken the immune system’s ability to fight off infection and illness. Some examples in children are:

  • Diseases such as diabetes, cystic fibrosis, sickle cell disease, and congenital heart disease.
  • Steroid medicines, which are used to treat a variety of conditions.
  • Medicines taken after organ transplant.
  • Chemotherapy and radiation therapy for cancer.
  • Not having a spleen.

A severe urgency problem means that:

  • You are uncomfortable most of the time.
  • You get the urge to go again right after you have just urinated.
  • The problem interferes with your daily activities.
  • The urge keeps you from sleeping at night.

A moderate or mild urgency problem means that:

  • The urge to urinate comes more often than you are used to, but it is not constant.
  • It does not interfere much with your daily activities.
  • It usually does not keep you from sleeping.

If you’re not sure if a child’s fever is high, moderate, or mild, think about these issues:

With a high fever:

  • The child feels very hot.
  • It is likely one of the highest fevers the child has ever had.

With a moderate fever:

  • The child feels warm or hot.
  • You are sure the child has a fever.

With a mild fever:

  • The child may feel a little warm.
  • You think the child might have a fever, but you’re not sure.

Temperature varies a little depending on how you measure it. For children up to 11 years old, here are the ranges for high, moderate, and mild according to how you took the temperature.

Oral (by mouth) temperature

  • High: 40° C (104° F) and higher
  • Moderate: 38° C (100.4° F) to 39.9° C (103.9° F)
  • Mild: 37.9° C (100.3° F) and lower

A forehead (temporal) scanner is usually 0.3° C (0.5° F) to 0.6° C (1° F) lower than an oral temperature.

Ear or rectal temperature

  • High: 40.5° C (104.9° F) and higher
  • Moderate: 38.5° C (101.3° F) to 40.4° C (104.7° F)
  • Mild: 38.4° C (101.1° F) and lower

Armpit (axillary) temperature

  • High: 39. 8° C (103.6° F) and higher
  • Moderate: 37.8° C (100° F) to 39.7° C (103.5° F)
  • Mild: 37.7° C (99.9° F) and lower

Note: For children under 5 years old, rectal temperatures are the most accurate.

An illness plan for people with diabetes usually covers things like:

  • How often to test blood sugar and what the target range is.
  • Whether and how to adjust the dose and timing of insulin or other diabetes medicines.
  • What to do if you have trouble keeping food or fluids down.
  • When to call your doctor.

The plan is designed to help keep your diabetes in control even though you are sick. When you have diabetes, even a minor illness can cause problems.

It is easy for your diabetes to become out of control when you are sick. Because of an illness:

  • Your blood sugar may be too high or too low.
  • You may not be able take your diabetes medicine (if you are vomiting or having trouble keeping food or fluids down).
  • You may not know how to adjust the timing or dose of your diabetes medicine.
  • You may not be eating enough or drinking enough fluids.

Symptoms of diabetes may include:

  • Increased thirst and more frequent urination, especially at night.
  • An increase in how hungry you are.
  • Losing or gaining weight for no clear reason.
  • Unexplained fatigue.
  • Blurred vision.

Many prescription and non-prescription medicines can cause urinary symptoms. A few examples include:

  • Antihistamines.
  • Decongestants.
  • Opioid pain medicines.
  • Tricyclic antidepressants.

Seek Care Now

Based on your answers, you may need care right away. The problem is likely to get worse without medical care.

  • Call your doctor now to discuss the symptoms and arrange for care.
  • If you cannot reach your doctor or you don’t have one, seek care in the next hour.
  • You do not need to call an ambulance unless:
    • You cannot travel safely either by driving yourself or by having someone else drive you.
    • You are in an area where heavy traffic or other problems may slow you down.

Seek Care Today

Based on your answers, you may need care soon. The problem probably will not get better without medical care.

  • Call your doctor today to discuss the symptoms and arrange for care.
  • If you cannot reach your doctor or you don’t have one, seek care today.
  • If it is evening, watch the symptoms and seek care in the morning.
  • If the symptoms get worse, seek care sooner.

Make an Appointment

Based on your answers, the problem may not improve without medical care.

  • Make an appointment to see your doctor in the next 1 to 2 weeks.
  • If appropriate, try home treatment while you are waiting for the appointment.
  • If symptoms get worse or you have any concerns, call your doctor. You may need care sooner.

Call 911 Now

Based on your answers, you need emergency care.

Call 911 or other emergency services now.

Sometimes people don’t want to call 911. They may think that their symptoms aren’t serious or that they can just get someone else to drive them. But based on your answers, the safest and quickest way for you to get the care you need is to call 911 for medical transport to the hospital.

Urinary Problems and Injuries, Age 12 and Older

Investor Profile RonaldDump | Tinkoff Investments Pulse

Report for the previous week + February 12 (Friday)

The trail closed PHO at +210 (+ 40%) CAD. Not bad.

$ AMZN worked out 3000/2980 March bull put spread, +180 (+ 50%) bucks per week without any tension, it could have been held longer and finished up to 80%, but the effect on the margin is quite large, and I also wanted to open other positions …

$ BAC added the remaining 3/4 to the 37 January short call, the plan from the previous post remained, but cash was needed for the grandiose stratum below (nio, palantir). The bottom line is this: my overall position in BAC is 8 bull call spreads of 28/37, with an average cost of @ 0.2 and a potential profit of 880 bucks apiece – imho, that’s great.

$ GE closed September long calls at +70 (about 20%) bucks.

$ BLUE opened the March 30 cash second put at @ 3.05. Completely on my toes – if the price by March 19 is below 30 I will be poured 100 shares at 30, while the “virtual average” for them will be 30-3.05 = 26.95. At the same time, if the price is 30 or more – 305 bucks will remain with me.LAZ burned to zero (-90 bucks).

$ TTWO burned to zero (-220 bucks).

The VIX hedge was not useful.

STPK opened the March 45 cash second put at @ 5.85. similar to Blue.

$ NIO’s previous strategy (covered call) worked exactly as I needed – the sold call burned out, the shares remained. On Friday, the continuation of this strategy opened – short gat 60/65. This move left me 1800 bucks in my account. What is the meaning of such a strategy – I describe below.

$ PLTR opened a strata like in NIO, but I had shares, so I bought them in addition:
I bought 100 shares with an average of ~ 27. eight
Sold 30 calls [email protected]
Sold 35 put [email protected]

PLTR price -> What happens
more than 35 -> 100 shares were taken from me at a price of 30 + the premium remained (220 + 310 + 900)
between 30 and 35 -> they took 100 shares from me at a price of 30 + gave 100 shares at 35 + the premium remained (220 + 310 + 900 – (35-BA) * 100)
less than 30 -> I have 100 shares left with an average of 27.8 + gave 100 shares at 35 + a premium remained (200 shares with an average (35 + 27.8) / 2 and 310 + 900)

Everything is sweet, but where is the minus?
having 200 shares with an average of 31.4 and a premium received of 1210 (@ 12.1) I will have a new “virtual” average for shares 31.4 – 6.05 = 25.35
if the share price turns out to be below 25.35, I will go out negative, but I will be able to buy off before calls.

Irina Yasina told “RG” about her new autobiographical book “Case history” – Rossiyskaya Gazeta

“How I began to learn the details – I don’t remember … There was a Big Encyclopedic Dictionary at home. Probably from there. The worst thing that I could do at all learn about the disease – it is incurable.From the same place about disability, difficulty walking, imbalance and a couple of paragraphs of nightmares.But the main thing is that it is incurable. “

The author of these lines is Irina Yasina, member of the Presidential Council for the Development of Civil Society and Human Rights, RIA Novosti columnist, daughter of Evgeny Yasin, research director of the National Research University-Higher School of Economics. The lines are from her new autobiographical book “Case history”.

A terrible diagnosis, melancholy and loneliness, betrayal of her husband, a wheelchair … A difficult book. It is one thing to savor the details of fictional novels and betrayals, but it is quite another thing to read about how illness eats away at everyday life day after day… “Case history” – antiglare, where the incident is told without the help of internal photoshop. How, with such a twist of fate, to remain charming, cheerful, amazingly efficient, our conversation with Irina Yasina.

“Tell an obscene anecdote, in the end!”

Rossiyskaya Gazeta: Unfortunately, our usual reaction to great misfortune or serious illness is to drink a bitter drink. Someone the same reasons lead to the church. You found some other way, or even your own religion, which helped to keep a very active person in yourself, not to sleep, not to sink, not to become sad.Was this optimistic outlook born in spite of the diagnosis, or was it always?

Irina Yasina: This is what distinguishes any adult from a child, teenager, or an old man who has gone out of his mind. How can you start drinking? You have a family, you are obliged to someone to be in shape, and this shape is not necessarily physical, this also needs to be understood. The feeling of responsibility, firstly, to my parents, and secondly, to my daughter, in this sequence, in fact, is my “anchor”.

RG: It often happens that it is the most loving and closest people who, unable to cope with the grief that has fallen on them, complicate the life of a sick person. We will not talk about the husband’s reaction for now, how did the parents react? Who helped whom?

Yasina: Although the parents are very close to each other, they love each other very much, but they behaved differently. I knew that my mother would cry and suffer. Not with me, of course, she is a reserved person. But I realized that it was much harder for her than for me.Do you know the feeling that a mother has when a child just coughs? Immediately you forget about all your affairs and think only about this cough. And here is such a big problem. Mom, in turn, realized that a person with my character cannot simply be advised – lie down and everything will pass. Moreover, we knew it would not work.

And then any adult young man is still stronger than an elderly one. Even if he is sick. Simply because he still has some time ahead of him to correct mistakes, to take care of something.And old people have very little time. Therefore, they are more defenseless. There should be mutual tutelage, not in the sense of a “quit-way”, but somewhere to remain silent, somewhere to shake hands, somewhere to cry together, somewhere to say: oh well, let’s break through. Tell an obscene anecdote in the end.

RG: Have you ever had to deceive your parents, hide something?

Yasin: First of all, yes. I was ashamed of the disease, I pretended that everything was fine with me. Morally, it was the most difficult time.

RG: You write that you were able to collect yourself, come to balance in six months.

Yasin: No, longer. Six months was “absolutely guard” when I did not want to leave the house. And the feeling of the future appeared, some kind of life began, probably two years later. At some point, I realized that one and a half to two years is the period of adaptation that any person needs after he undergoes global changes. I talked with some of my acquaintances who were forced to immigrate. So the feeling of temporality passes somewhere through this period.Then people, relatively speaking, unpack their suitcases. And it’s the same with illness.

“Dad, what if I were your wife?” – “I would kill you!”

RG: Have you been disappointed by your friends?

Yasin: Yes, disappointed. Especially those who are successful. I got the feeling that many of them are simply throwing away someone else’s grief, as if it were contagious. They may not even say it. But my teenage friends practically all disappeared. But what new ones have appeared! It’s just happiness.

RG: And in psychological trainings it often sounds that failure is contagious …

Yasina: I know for sure that it is not. Moreover, I can say a paradoxical thing: I am simply happy that something happened in my life that led me to get to know the people with whom I communicate now.

RG: At the beginning of the illness you were 35 years old and married. Here write in the “History of the disease”: “… After a few nights of my tantrums with shouts:” What will happen to me! “The husband said that he wants to live alone, but will always help me financially… “The men around you, apparently, were not very strong sex?

Yasina: My husband is gone, but I have a dad, who is an absolute ideal of a man for me, so I cannot be disappointed in men.

RG: When a woman has such a father, it is difficult for her to find a spouse who could match …

Yasina: Yes, there is such a problem. One friend of mine, a woman of age who has admired her own father all her life, once said: “You and I are women who were hit by our own fathers.”And dad? He is wonderful, strong, humorous, generous, cheerful. Of course, it is very difficult to find “something similar”. I once had a wonderful conversation with my father. Something was especially bad for me, he wanted to support me, began to praise me, say how wonderful I am, what a comrade-in-arms, a fighting friend and stuff like that. And I asked: “Dad, what if I were your wife?” – “I would kill you!” – Dad answered frankly.

Men are weak, it’s true. There are wonderful people among them, but I wish there were more of them.Women, as my history has shown, are more frank, kinder, more determined. They come to the rescue easier, donate easier. With money, time, strength, yourself. I am for matriarchy.

RG: But the nature of male betrayal, how did it manifest itself in your case, where does it take roots?

Yasina: This is a very deep problem. Boys are raised by mothers who inspire them: dear, think only of yourself, don’t pay attention to anyone, the main thing is that you succeed.Mothers love them so much that they are unable to love and respect even their own wives.

RG: But they fall in love because they themselves were little loved …

Yasina: Yes, such a vicious circle.

“Do you want me to sit at home and look into my husband’s mouth?”

RG: Are men’s claims to modern career women legitimate?

Yasina: The role of women in society is changing, so the question is quite legitimate: “If you want me to sit at home, give birth to four children, cook dinner and look into my husband’s mouth, then why am I a Doctor of Philosophy? No, there are happy wives who manage to combine home and work, but this is very rare. Men are brought up by their mothers in the spirit that “a woman should serve the family.” And, in fact, we have equal rights. We, of course, are not equal, but a woman can achieve the same as a man.

RG: But if everyone pulls the blanket over themselves, if traditional family roles are so shifted, happiness in marriage is hardly possible?

Yasina: I know several happy families in which women work hard and earn good money, and men, shall we say, are on hand. This does not prevent them from raising happy children and living together for 25 years.Happiness is generally possible in any situation. Who makes money is an external question. What is more important is what happens within human relations: do people know how to adapt, adapt, change. If you live your whole life with your youthful ideal of happiness, nothing good will come of it.

RG: Why, isn’t it bad not to give up the ideals of youth?

Yasina: This ideal is beautiful, but it is primitive, and everyone has the same one. And life endlessly throws up surprises.Well, we will stubbornly and say, happiness is this, and not another: happiness when I can dance all night, walk on high heels all day, or ride a bicycle 20 kilometers. And if all this I can’t, then there’s no happiness, and I don’t need such a life? What nonsense. It’s just that happiness is really very diverse. You just have to give yourself the trouble to adjust.

“For me the 90s are the time of endless creation”

RG: A beautiful woman in a wheelchair is a “strange animal” on our streets.Have you ever seen curious looks on yourself?

Yasina: Of course it happened. It hurts at first, and then you get used to it. You have to smile. A smile is an absolute weapon. There is no other way out. Well, what can you do, there is a person without an arm, without a leg, and there is without a soul. You can attach a prosthetic leg, but you cannot add a prosthetic soul.

RG: Ira, you and I almost simultaneously studied at the university, we are one generation, which, after graduating from the university, immediately plunged into the 1990s. Several people did not come out of my course: someone was killed, someone drank themselves.Is this a glorious or dashing time for you?

Yasin: People, strong and weak, confused and collected, probably in any generation the same number. For me, the 90s is a time of endless creation, creativity, growth. What we have experienced is not communicated to everyone. I don’t even remember our student days very well, because then there were the 90s: an incredible volcano, a cataclysm of change.

I do not suffer from amnesia, I remember very well the Soviet era with queues and the prohibition to read “Doctor Zhivago” in the subway… I remember how in the seventh grade I saw a photograph of the Chambord castle on the Loire near Paris – not long before that, like all children, I was reading Dumas’s novels The Three Musketeers, Queen Margot, and was impressed by the description of the romantic Middle Ages. And now I look at the castle and understand that I will never see it. And at the age of 13, we should dream and consider that the world is open in front of us. Instead, we know that if you don’t join the party, you will definitely not see anything in the world. And if you join, maybe you will go on an excursion as part of an organized delegation.I had no illusions about the beauty of the Soviet Union. And now no. Moreover, it has become even smaller. Because I learned more. The 1990s are a great time. Very heavy, but creative. What for 10 years we have experienced, England has experienced for centuries, remember, in textbooks – “the period of the initial accumulation of capital, fencing: XV-XVIII centuries.”

RG: Have you ever wanted to leave the country?

Yasina: Once I even tried to do it: in 1990, my then husband and I went to study in America.In August 1991 we were in Moscow. Then I returned to the USA, where I worked, collapsed on my knees in front of my boss and prayed: “Please let me go home! I want to build a new life. ” Americans are patriots in the best sense of the word, so they saw me off as a heroine.

There were times when it was very easy to leave. It did not work out, and I do not regret it at all. Firstly, I am a person of the Russian language. I do not know how to express myself in any other: neither English nor Polish, although I know these languages.Needed where was born. Why am I elsewhere? And further. I love the Russian nature very much. There is a city apartment, it is exactly five minutes from my work, but I go every day for an hour and a half to a country house to see my trees, flowers, squirrels, cats, hares – everything is there. Living in nature, you feel the change of seasons. The leaves begin to turn yellow, the buds appear. I can’t live without it.

“I accidentally found out that I was baptized at the age of two”

RG: You are an intelligent person and will not be offended by the question: is society always to blame for the lack of understanding of people with disabilities? Do you need condescension, an attitude of being weak?

Yasina: On the one hand, I, of course, am weak, I need help. And I must ask for her …

RG: And we do not know how to ask with dignity … Have you asked for help from God?

Yasina: I am a non-religious person, I have never been, I grew up in an absolutely atheistic family. I accidentally found out that I was baptized at the age of two by my grandmother and godmother. It was all like that. Even before the disease, in 1996, my daughter and I almost got into a car accident. I was driving, the child was asleep, winter, Moscow region, a white snow fell on a thin ice, and fool Ira wanted to switch the music… We drifted, began to twist, if there were oncoming cars, it would have ended badly, but it was night, there was no one on the highway, we were thrown sideways into a snowdrift, the car stalled, and we stopped remarkably … “, three shaven fellows came out of her, I once again said goodbye to life, and the guys asked sweetly:” Girl, should I push you out? ” And they pushed out. In the morning I called my aunt: “Aunt Gal, go to church for me, light a candle. The Lord God saved me two times during one evening.”She: “Why won’t you go yourself? Go. My grandmother and I baptized you …” – in general, she told me everything. I ask, do the parents know? She with such a Vladimir accent: “Why should they, the communists, know?” After it turned out that I was a baptized person, I immediately baptized my daughter – not for religious reasons, but for reasons of historical continuity: if all my ancestors were baptized for hundreds of years, then I cannot take responsibility and interrupt this line … Well, if Varya decides that she will not baptize her children, this is her choice.

I tried to contact one of the Moscow churches near my home. My aunts, very concerned about cleaning the church, simply drove me away, nobody was interested in what a young confused and frightened woman was looking for, why she asked about Panteleimon the healer. However, I still had a happy meeting: in 2003, I met Father Georgy Chistyakov. From him came a light that could not be easily transferred, you can feel it with your skin, but, unfortunately, he died very quickly . .. I was ready to go to him and talk about my misfortune, and I’m sure he would have heard me.

“Elite” is the livestock term “

RG: Irina, why did you decide to write about yourself with such a degree of frankness?

Yasina: First, I was one hundred percent sure that it was necessary. The number of people who are unhealthy, with sick relatives and friends is gigantic. Besides, there are also healthy people who think about the soul.

And more. A person endowed with some kind of fame, social status, has a mission.I really do not like the word “elite” – this is a livestock term, but we have accepted it. So our Russian elite believes that its elite is only in having a special consumption, so that their children do not receive treatment in our hospitals, do not go to schools and do not serve in our army, and their old people do not receive medicines in our pharmacies. Maybe I overestimate myself, but you will understand me: I rank myself among the Russian elite, but I see my role differently. This role is to share your own experience of survival, overcoming.The sense of mission moved me when I wrote the truth about myself. I realized that I was right when letters from mothers of children with disabilities were sent …

With regard to my story, my mother was very worried: that I was so much open. No, we love gossip, especially when they relate to glamorous characters. But talking about ourselves frankly is not our style. And he is very close to me. I didn’t make an effort on myself. Then, when the story was already published, my mother told me: “You were right, but you are a person of the new time, you understand that people will help, and I expect something different, because I grew up in Stalin’s times.”My grandmother, my mother’s mother, lost her husband in the war. In the first weeks of the war, he went missing. She was left a 30-year-old widow with two children, three grades of education, a girl from the village. She sewed on neighbors to feed the kids. They “knocked” on her, sent a financial inspector. The grandmother was afraid – the neighbors would see that she was working at home, they would notice some threads, pieces of fabric, so she forbade her mother to invite guests to her place, she asked: “Lidochka, don’t open the door to anyone!” Hence the habit of being closed.To be closed meant to be protected. And I have a different approach. As long as you are open, you are free. As long as you are free, you are protected. I am not afraid of the future, despite the fact that science still does not know how to cure my illness.

“As long as you are dissatisfied with life, it passes!”

RG: Did you find out about the missing grandfather?

Yasin: You will not believe, but just on the eve of the 70th anniversary of the Great Patriotic War, we found his grave. For the first time in my life, I not only felt the beginning of the war in my soul, I was carried away, I wanted to cry, I could not think about anything.He was buried near Hanover, on the territory of the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, where he ended up in November 1941. And on January 23, 1942, at the age of 35, he died of sepsis. Apparently he was injured. Grandfather was taken prisoner on July 12, having been called up on June 26. They just drove with their regiment to the city of Sebezh, Pskov region, and were surrounded. I imagined how my grandmother saw him off, how I cried. She is survived by a 7-year-old son and a 2-year-old daughter, my mother.

The grandfather, who was a legend, suddenly became alive, warm, 35 years old.In the fall we will go to Hanover, take a handful of earth from the cemetery and bury it in grandmother’s grave, write: “Fedulov Alexey Stepanovich, was born then, died then.”

RG: How did you find out the details about the death of Alexei Fedulov?


Through Memorial. The Americans or the British transferred all the archives of the concentration camp to the Soviet Union back in 1953. And no one told the widow that her husband was dead. Although the documents contained his home address, the surname, name and patronymic of his grandmother, the name of his father and mother, place of birth – the village of Dobrynskoye, Vladimir region. And the grandmother until the end of her days, until her death in 1988, was waiting for her Alyosha. Nobody threw a note into the mailbox, two kopecks cost a letter to send! But that’s okay, the main thing is that the grandfather was found.

RG: You wrote in the book that you are happy now. Few can say this about themselves.

Yasin: We love to play poorly. Meanwhile, as my dad says, while you are dissatisfied with life, it passes. This I repeat to myself all the time. Often it happens – you feel bad, you are in trouble at work, you don’t know what to do, someone betrays, someone doesn’t call – life.

key question

Rossiyskaya Gazeta: Our society has difficulty accepting “others”. The lack of a comfortable environment for the life of people with disabilities – what is it, if not an attempt to remove the unlikely out of sight, so that they can sit at home, do not upset the townsfolk …

Irina Yasina: Everything is changing for the better. We just have such a problem: we compare ourselves with the best examples. Let’s say we look at America and envy. But one of my acquaintances, having suffered polio at the age of two, could not go to school, because in Washington, the capital of the United States, in the mid-1950s there was not a single school where a wheelchair could enter.Her mother went to demonstrations with friends, and they got two schools equipped with lifts. Immediately, as in America, we will not have it, but everything is changing very quickly. Progress, as they say, is evident. And not only in Moscow. Recently I was in Plyos, Ivanovo region: no one there, as an exotic creature, looks at you, everyone helps, everyone is kind. A ramp is being built at the station in Vladimir. And five years ago at the international airport Sheremetyevo-2 I went on strike to get me a special device with which a person in a wheelchair can board an aircraft.The flight was delayed, but I achieved my goal.

I must say that everyone who was around supported me. I also learned to ask for help. I constantly ask my colleagues and girlfriends. At work, everyone helps me, they know what to move, so that the wheelchair passes, how to put a leg so that there are no spastic reactions. It’s not a shame. And the people who helped you feel good. People love to be nice. It is unpleasant for them to know that they are disorganized, callous.

But disabled people should be able to ask, not be ashamed of it.Sometimes they complain to me: we stay at home, we don’t go out, nobody helps us. And I say: hello, how do people know that you need help? I know of such cases when a disabled person is comfortable with the fact that no one touches him. Nobody will be imposed. A person with a problem should at least articulate their problem. Say: I am not happy with this, think of something, help me think of …

Breaking up with loved ones: misconceptions, reasons and possible advantages

  • Christine Roe
  • BBC Future

Photo by BBC / Getty

Becoming a stranger to your family is more common than you might think. For society, such relationships are often – as a stigma. However, psychologists believe that sometimes life away from your loved ones is much healthier, and sometimes it is the only way out.

Nanditi Godbole broke up with the rest of her wealthy Indian family over … food.

Godbole writes books on how to cook, and her relatives, who are accustomed to hiring a cook to cook, consider her hobby unworthy. And when her last book came out, in which Godbole delved into the history of her family, the discord became even more pronounced.

The relatives felt that by talking about what outsiders should not know, Godbole went against the traditional family hierarchy. Some even stopped talking to her.

This story, of course, is unique in its own way, but what Nanditi Godbole experienced because of the break in relations with her family is not at all uncommon.

Family alienation can be described as estrangement and loss of attachment, deepening over the years (or even over decades) within the same family.

At the same time, it is not always possible to understand in which direction the situation is developing – in the direction of deterioration or improvement.For scientists, this is a relatively new area of ​​research.

But this phenomenon is very common. For example, Stand Alone, a UK charity that supports those who suffer from breakups, believes that this happens in one in five families in the United Kingdom.

Author of the photo, BBC / Getty

Caption to the photo,

Now the topic of discord with loved ones is discussed much more often than in previous years.mother-child couples 10% of mothers are in a situation of alienation with their adult daughter or son.

In another study (also in the USA), it turned out that more than 40% of its participants at some point in their lives experienced alienation within their family. Moreover, in certain social groups this is almost as common a thing as divorce.

The founder of Stand Alone Becca Bland (who has her own experience of living at odds with loved ones, she does not communicate with her parents) notes that this topic is now being discussed much more widely than before – even five years ago.

This is also confirmed by the statistics of Google Trends queries: people are increasingly entering words into the search engine window that describe a situation of alienation – this happens primarily among users in Canada, Australia and Singapore.

Bland believes that Meghan Markle helped a lot when she joined the British royal family.

Prince Harry’s wife, the Duchess of Sussex, ranked # 1 in British Google searches (and # 2 in America) in 2018, spurred public interest in intra-family conflicts over her difficult relationship with her father.

The recognition of the famous actor Anthony Hopkins in an interview in 2018 was received with the same interest, in which he said that for 20 years he has hardly spoken to his daughter.

Such details from the life of celebrities, as a rule, help ordinary people to digest their own difficult life experiences and try to explain it for themselves.

Although examples of alienation can be found in any country in the world, more often it happens in a certain type of society or state.

One of the determining factors is how much support the government provides to citizens. In countries with developed social security systems, people simply do not need strong family ties and the help of relatives to such an extent. And so they have a choice – whether to maintain a relationship with this or that family member.

For example, in Europe, the further south you go, the more parents and adult children tend to have close relationships, since in the countries of southern Europe government assistance is scarce.

Photo author, BBC / Getty

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The phenomenon of a stranger in one’s family is more common in countries with well-developed social security systems.

Financial factors intersect with others, for example, racial or educational. For example, in Germany, the higher education level of matured children often goes hand in hand with higher levels of conflict with parents.

It is assumed that family members who have received a good education are usually more mobile geographically and need each other less financially.

A study by Megan Gilligan and her colleagues on caring conflicts in American families found differences in the experience of adult children by race.

However, it can be difficult to isolate the influence of culture or class. Gilligan, a gerontologist at Iowa State University, notes that ethnic minorities in the United States tend to rely more on the support of family members.

In Uganda, where it was recently important for survival to stick to each other, to your kindred circle, alienation in families rears its head, says Stephen Vandera, a demographer at Makerere University in Kampala.

A recent study by Wandera and colleagues found that 9% of Ugandans aged 50 and over live alone. For this African country, it is surprisingly high.

Of course, this is not exactly the same as alienation. But as families become smaller, more nuclear and urbanized, the percentage of Ugandans living in constant conflict with relatives will rise, Wandera says.

This won’t happen overnight.”Cultural norms are still strong, and until they weaken, time will pass,” he said. But, in his opinion, in 20 years everything will change.

Photo by BBC / Getty

Photo caption,

As families become smaller and more urbanized, the phenomenon of alienation will become more common

This certainly does not mean that governments should reduce financial assistance to the elderly people to force families to maintain strong bonds.

For example, the Spanish family culture has always been considered more “coercive” than, for example, Norwegian, where intergenerational relationships are usually more friendly, because they were chosen voluntarily, and not for financial reasons.

Why does this happen

The reason for the loss of family ties is often the divorce of the parents – and in such cases, the relationship with the father suffers especially.

A common reason is also a breakup with a relative belonging to a marginalized minority (sexual, religious, etc.).

But quite often such a break occurs calmly and without much drama. As Gilligan explains, this usually happens gradually, and not due to any one major event.

The people she interviewed often said, “I can’t tell exactly how this happened.”

Photo author, BBC / Getty


Often, the break between close relatives occurs gradually and reflects the long-accumulating tension in relations.

But even if the break occurred after some event, it still reflects the long-accumulated tension.

Those families whose members would like to restore relations, make peace, should be aware that their conflict is unlikely to be the result of an isolated incident.They will have to take a closer look at their own past.

For those who want to make peace or prevent alienation, we can recommend: do not rush to condemn the other.

Gilligan’s study, which involved mothers, 10% of whom lived without contact with their adult children, showed that the most important factor in their alienation from each other was a mismatch in values.

For example, “if a mother cherished her religious beliefs and practices and her child openly neglected them, the mother found it truly offensive,” says Gilligan.

Of course, this does not only apply to religion. Another mother, who highly valued truthfulness, broke off her relationship with her deceiving son. Another woman, who attached great importance to her own independence, stopped talking to her daughter, who, as the mother thought, was too dependent on the man.

Photo author, BBC / Getty

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Growing up children often remember about emotional tyranny in the house, but their parents rarely talk about it

In fact, this neglect of other people’s personal values ​​made a break much more likely than in violation of social norms – say, if a child had committed a crime.

Moreover, according to the study, common values ​​were more important for mothers than for fathers. Mothers simply could not get over it.

Well, as often happens, the parties (parents and children) gave completely different interpretations of the same situation.

In the UK, adult children, for example, most often mentioned emotional resentments that led to a break with their parents – constant attempts to control through humiliation, criticism, etc.

But parents much more often talked about such things as divorce or mismatch of expectations.

“An adult child and his mother usually do not discuss with each other what makes them upset, so I think they are on different pages of understanding the same situation,” she says.

Well, of course, if one of them takes a defensive position and does not want to listen to the other, then these two people are not able to explain something to each other.

Bland this seems to be the result of the fact that generations have completely different concepts of family life.

Author of the photo, BBC / Getty


Different generations have different ideas about what a family should be like

According to her, there was a very conservative idea of ​​what a family should be in post-war Great Britain.People used to think of family life in terms of duty and self-sacrifice, which sometimes led them to put up with emotional and even physical abuse.

For children of that generation, mismatched values ​​or expectations also play a role. And another important factor is parental favoritism.

Positive aspects of alienation

But everything is not so simple. Just as traditional divorce taboos have kept women in abusive and exploitative marriages, so dogmatic belief in inviolability can mean unnecessary suffering for someone.

As Gilligan points out, “If the relationship between relatives is full of conflict, if they cause such suffering, then perhaps the best way for both parents and their grown children is to break the relationship.”

And people understand this. According to the Stand Alone organization, more than 80% of people who choose to break up with loved ones associate this with at least a few positive things, such as freedom and independence. This is a way to overcome the past.

It is also important to note that a break is not necessarily permanent. People can restore relationships, get closer again.

And conflicts do not always arise immediately with all other family members.

For example, in Vietnamese families, although it is unacceptable for parents to be LGBT or transgender, brothers and sisters are much more tolerant of this.

Alienation in the family is also painfully endured due to the fact that it is not clear how long it will last and whether it will end at all.

Photo author, BBC / Getty


For more than 80% of respondents, breaking up was associated with newfound freedom and independence. in the eyes of society, “says Gilligan.

For example, in an article for an online publication for retirees, the author blames alienation for individualism, divorce, psychotherapy and “immaturity of children.”

And even psychotherapists often blame their patients for not communicating with someone from close relatives.Women are especially easily ostracized for this. Some people even have to keep their social contacts to a minimum so as not to let others know about their family problems.

But, as experts emphasize, people who are already isolated from their families should not be driven into a corner, exacerbating the situation.

Another aspect: from the point of view of scientists, such ostracism makes it difficult to understand how many people are actually alienated from their families.

This is especially difficult to find out in those countries and cultures where it is considered unacceptable to discuss family conflicts.

Nanditi Godbole, the author of books on tasty and healthy food, is very familiar with all this. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that it will take time for people to reconnect with me. And some may never do it,” she says. “I take it easy.”

So even if alienation is difficult to overcome, there is no reason to be ashamed of it – like many other painful situations in life.

To read the original of this article in English, visit BBC Future .

May repeat 75 years ago Japan was banned from having its own army. Why did the country decide to regain the right to fight ?: Politics: World: Lenta.ru

Japan is the only country in the world that has a constitutional ban on the creation of its own army. The Americans insisted on this shortly after the surrender, and for more than 70 years the US Army has been guaranteeing the security and sovereignty of Japan. However, the Japanese are not delighted with the long-term presence of overseas allies: American soldiers regularly engage in fights and commit crimes, and every year Washington demands more and more money for patronage.Against this backdrop, Japan is determined to regain the right to possess a full-fledged army in order to finally get rid of the American presence and the related problems. “Lenta.ru” found out how the Japanese intend to bypass the constitutional ban and why these attempts could lead to a major war in Asia.

Japan acquired a new Constitution, which is in effect to this day, in 1947 – after losing World War II. It is widely known that it was written not just with full approval, but rather even under the dictation of the Americans who occupied the country.In particular, the headquarters of General Douglas MacArthur worked on the main law, who on September 2, 1945 accepted the surrender of Japan and was the commander-in-chief of the Allied occupation forces in the country.

MacArthur took into account a number of culturally important moments for the Japanese, in particular, the role of imperial power, and refused to prosecute Emperor Hirohito. Yes, the monarch was deprived of the real levers of government, but his formal status as the governor of the deity on earth was preserved in the new law. Thus, the proud nation “has not lost face” – and this is almost the main thing that the East Asian countries are worried about.

The situation with the armed forces was completely different. The world was unanimous – the atrocities during the Second World War, which the Japanese militarists committed against, first of all, the Chinese and Koreans, should have their price. It turned out to be an eternal ban on the army, and this rule was spelled out directly in the constitution.

Sincerely striving for international peace based on justice and order, the Japanese people forever renounce war as the sovereign right of the nation, as well as the threat or use of armed force as a means of settling international disputes

9 article of the Constitution of Japan

The ninth article of the basic law states that in Japan “never again will be created land, sea and air forces, as well as other means of war. “In addition, the document clearly prohibits an offensive war.

Similar measures to limit the armed forces have been applied only to the Germans, but no one has made such changes to the German Constitution. As a result, under the close control of other European countries, the Bundeswehr appeared there in 1955, and a year later the country found itself in NATO. Japan, even after 70 years, remains officially disarmed, but American military bases have appeared in the country.

A Japanese Self-Defense Forces soldier next to Patriot Advanced Capability-3

Photo: Toru Hanai / Reuters

In 1951, Tokyo signed a military cooperation and defense treaty with Washington that is still in force, according to which an attack on Japan was considered an attack on the US military …At the same time, the Americans received the exclusive right to deploy their troops on Japanese territory.

However, the Japanese cannot be completely considered defenseless without the United States. In 1952, the National Security Forces appeared in the country, on the basis of which the Self-Defense Forces were created in 1954. In fact, Japan took advantage of a loophole in its own constitution, because it specifically prohibits offensive war, and not protection from an external enemy. In subsequent years, these forces were modernized and trained in conjunction with the United States.From the point of view of the Americans, this was an additional counterbalance in the region, first to the Soviet fleet, and already in the new century – to “rising China.”

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Over the past years, the Self-Defense Forces have become a powerful combat unit – Japan is confidently in the top 10 countries in terms of army strength in various ratings. Now the country has about 250 thousand troops, 700 tanks, more than 130 different ships and four aircraft carriers. And to protect the airspace, Japan has 350 anti-aircraft missile systems and about 300 fighters.

Nevertheless, there is no official full-fledged army in the country, and this does not suit everyone. In 2012, a military reform was launched in Japan, the purpose of which was precisely to reformat the Self-Defense Forces. Directly about the true plans to change the constitution in 2017, on the 70th anniversary of its adoption, announced at that time the Prime Minister of the country Shinzo Abe.He pointed to a legal conflict in connection with the status of the Self-Defense Forces: de facto the employees there are military, and de jure their status is ambiguous, and they are even called “officials”, in fact, placing them in a gray zone from the point of view of laws.

It is important to note that a major shift on this issue took place back in 2015. Then parliament passed a law expanding the powers of the Self-Defense Forces. Military personnel have been allowed to participate in hostilities overseas to protect friendly countries, even if Japan is not under attack.

Japan’s National Self-Defense Forces’ annual exercise near Mount Fuji

Photo: Kim Kyung-Hoon / Reuters

The Self-Defense Forces have a population approval rating of about 90 percent. Nevertheless, society is roughly split in half over the need to amend the constitution. As a result, Abe did not manage to arrange a referendum before leaving office. Formally, he did not even try, since it is obvious that even the upper house of parliament would not approve its conduct.It is unlikely that Abe’s less charismatic successor as prime minister, Yoshihide Suge, will be able to rectify the situation in the coming year.

The Japanese prefecture of Okinawa is located “on the outskirts” and consists of one relatively large island and many small ones. The region is considered the poorest in the country: locals attribute this to the fact that 10 percent of all land in the prefecture (and 18 percent of the island of Okinawa) is devoted to US military installations, which are a burden on the economy. The population is dissatisfied with the behavior of foreign defenders, which periodically results in mass protests.

Okinawan patience snapped back in 1995 after three American soldiers – black sailor Marcus Gill, Marines Rodrico Harp and Kendrick Ledet – rented a car, kidnapped and raped a 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirl. Before that, they beat the girl and tied her up, covering her eyes and mouth with duct tape. And even the verdict of a Japanese court in 2013 – two American sailors received 9 and 10 years in prison for rape and drunken robbery – did not put an end to such crimes, not to mention smaller debauches and incidents like attacks on police officers.Periodic accidents of American air transport cause separate damage.

Interestingly, the protests in Okinawa are not directed at the US-Japan alliance per se. Rather, they can be called pacifist – the protesters say that the government as a whole should spend more on the social sphere, rather than on the military – no matter which one. But the chances that they will be heeded are not enough: guaranteeing security is the main thing for any government.

Protests against the US Marine Corps base in front of the Japanese parliament at the end of 2019

Photo: Shizuo Kambayashi / AP

In 2020, two US bases in Okinawa caused new problems: they turned out to be centers of the spread of the coronavirus.It turned out that during the quarantine, the soldiers threw beach parties outside the walls of the bases, and on the US Independence Day on July 4, they went out to entertain themselves in city blocks with an active nightlife. The governor of the prefecture, Danny Tamaki, called the situation “extremely unfortunate” and said that his fellow citizens were shocked by the news of the outbreak of a deadly infection.

Problems with the American presence generally worsened with the rise to power of the administration of US President Donald Trump. The president, in principle inclined towards isolationism much more than the Democrats who ruled before him, began to make various demands on the allies to keep the American contingent abroad.

His former national security adviser John Bolton argued in his book that Trump, during a visit to Tokyo, insisted on increasing Japan’s costs from two to eight billion dollars – the country pays Americans for assistance in defense: training soldiers, maintaining bases and maintaining ships. Otherwise, the US leader allegedly threatened to withdraw the troops completely. The Japanese government, however, denied all rumors of such pressure. At the same time, Washington is openly saying that none of the allies will be able to “ride a hare on the road to security”.

An illustrative example of the fact that the alliance of countries is not at all cloudless is the disruption of the delivery of missile defense systems

Japan planned to deploy two US Aegis Ashore ground-based missile defense systems in Akita and Yamaguchi prefectures by 2023. But on June 25, the authorities decided to cancel the plan to deploy these systems. The official explanation is that the operation of missile defense systems is unsafe for the civilian population. The upper stage of the missile used in Aegis Ashore could allegedly fall outside the military range and cause damage to people.But rumors that a crack had appeared in relations between the countries could not be stopped.

The distance from the USA is visible and not only in the refusal of an expensive purchase. On October 18, the new Japanese Prime Minister Yoshihide Suga made his first foreign visit, and he went not to the defenders, but to Vietnam and Indonesia. And with the first – he signed an agreement on the transfer of defensive weapons. This is part of the general Japanese program to increase the export of military equipment.

American servicemen at the air force base in Tokyo

Photo: Issei Kato / Reuters

At the same time, the country is thinking about acquiring weapons that will allow a preemptive strike against missile launchers of one of the main enemies in the region – North Korea.Former Japanese Defense Minister Taro Kano noted that even such a scenario cannot be ruled out until approved by the national Security Council. The issue became especially relevant after the abandonment of Aegis Ashore, which could protect against foreign missiles.

However, this issue is also extremely difficult, because a blow to the lead can be considered far from a defensive step. As a result, before considering the possibility of Japan adopting a preemptive strike strategy, it is necessary to clearly define what exactly this concept includes.At the same time, it is clear that such a defensive concept would represent a fundamental shift in Tokyo’s military strategy, which cannot but cause concern for its neighbors.

It should be noted that Japan’s successes in atomic energy already enable it to create nuclear weapons. Yes, the country has obligations in this area – it has signed a nonproliferation agreement. But at the same time, Tokyo officially emphasizes that the Japanese constitution in no way prohibits the country from possessing and using nuclear weapons.It’s just that the Japanese will not do it of their own free will.

Even in conditions when the army is prohibited by the constitution, Japan squeezes the maximum out of restrictions and strengthens its defenses. And the unpredictability of Donald Trump in relations with long-term partners and only the growing threat from the DPRK and China encourage the Japanese to rely more and more on themselves and to improve relations with other countries.

In the end, even if Trump wins the election again and continues to be skeptical about protecting allies, Tokyo will calmly develop its alliance with other regional powers that fear Chinese power.

The paradox is that in the event of a real withdrawal of Japan from the influence of the Americans, the situation in the Asia-Pacific region is likely to only worsen. Here, nuclear North Korea, the United States and China are habitually flexing their muscles – and another independent and powerful player will be more likely to provoke military conflict. Arguments of a different caliber could significantly aggravate relations with Russia on the Kuril Islands issue – after all, a peace treaty has not yet been signed between the countries.