How can someone cope when their husband lies about important issues like pornography addiction? Find compassionate support and practical steps to heal from the devastation of broken trust.

Uncovering the Painful Truth: My Husband Lied to Me

A woman recounts the life-shattering moment when her husband confessed to a long-standing pornography addiction, shattering the trust and security she had built in their marriage. Despite her initial shock and confusion, she bravely confronts the harsh reality of her husband’s deception, realizing that the lies were even more devastating than the betrayal itself.

Navigating the Emotional Minefield: Coping with Betrayal and Distrust

The woman describes the overwhelming feelings of grief, anger, and loss of trust that consumed her after her husband’s admission. She struggled to reconcile the man she thought she knew with the addict she now faced, unsure of how to move forward and rebuild the foundation of their relationship. The challenges of verifying her husband’s honesty and setting necessary boundaries are explored.

Uncovering the Tactics of Manipulation: Understanding Abusive Behavior

The woman delves into the tactics commonly used by abusive partners, including withholding the truth, using semantics to mislead, and guilting the partner for seeking answers. She recognizes that her husband’s lies were a form of emotional and psychological abuse, shedding light on the insidious nature of domestic violence.

Taking the First Steps Towards Healing: Seeking Support and Setting Boundaries

The woman emphasizes the importance of setting safety boundaries and seeking support after discovering betrayal and lies in a relationship. She highlights the vital role of resources like the BTR podcast and the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group in providing a safe space for women to process their trauma, ask questions, and find the support they need to begin their journey to healing.

Breaking the Cycle of Silence: Overcoming the Stigma of Negative Emotions

The woman reveals her own struggle with expressing emotions, having grown up in an environment where negative feelings were often suppressed. This background presented an additional challenge as she grappled with the intense emotions triggered by her husband’s betrayal, ultimately realizing the need to confront and address these issues head-on.

Empowering Oneself: Reclaiming Agency and Embracing the Path to Recovery

Despite the overwhelming obstacles she faced, the woman demonstrates her resilience and determination to take control of her own healing process. She shares her decision to stop tolerating her husband’s relapses and to prioritize her own well-being, a crucial step in her journey towards reclaiming her sense of self and moving forward with purpose.

Cultivating Hope and Transformation: The Power of Shared Experiences

The woman’s story underscores the transformative power of sharing her experiences and seeking support from others who have walked a similar path. By tuning into the BTR podcast and connecting with the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group, she finds solace, understanding, and the inspiration to continue on her path towards healing and empowerment.

The aftermath of lies and betrayal in a marriage can be a harrowing and isolating experience, but this woman’s story serves as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. By navigating the complex emotions, setting necessary boundaries, and seeking the support of a compassionate community, she demonstrates the possibility of reclaiming one’s life and finding a path towards healing and growth.

What can someone do when they discover their husband has been lying to them, particularly about issues like pornography addiction? The first step is to recognize that the lies themselves are a form of emotional and psychological abuse, and that it is completely normal to feel devastated, confused, and betrayed. Setting safety boundaries and seeking support are crucial in this process.

Where can someone find help and resources after experiencing domestic violence and betrayal in their marriage? The BTR podcast and the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group offer a safe and supportive space for women to share their stories, ask questions, and begin the journey towards healing. These resources provide a vital network of understanding and empowerment for those navigating the aftermath of lies and abuse.

How can someone overcome the challenges of expressing emotions and addressing negative feelings, especially when they have been conditioned to suppress them? Recognizing the importance of confronting and processing these emotions, rather than avoiding them, is a crucial step in the healing process. With the support of a compassionate community and a willingness to embrace the full range of human experience, individuals can break free from the cycle of silence and reclaim their emotional well-being.

Ultimately, the story shared here serves as a powerful reminder that even in the face of devastating betrayal and abuse, there is always the possibility of transformation and growth. By taking courageous steps to set boundaries, seek support, and reclaim their agency, individuals can embark on a journey of empowerment and self-discovery, emerging stronger and more resilient than ever before.

My Husband Lied To Me

My Husband Lied To Me And I’m Confused & Hurt

Women feel confusion, grief, and intense sorrow when their husbands lie about pornography use and other forms of betrayal.

Some women even say that the lying is even more painful than the actual betrayal.

It is completely normal to feel devastated by your partner’s dishonesty. You can take positive actions to protect yourself from further harm and begin the path to healing.

Read the full transcript below and listen to the free BTR podcast to hear the story of an anonymous woman who found healing and peace after devastating emotional abuse, including lying.

I Think He Lied To Me But I’m Not Sure

Abusive men are master-manipulators and because of that, it’s not always easy to spot a lie.

Lying is not just saying something untrue, it is also:

• Withholding the truth
• Admitting to a partial truth
• Using semantics to mislead
• Overexaggerating or underexaggerating the truth
• Guilting and shaming a partner for asking for answers

My Husband Lied To Me: Now What?

It is very important for women to set safety boundaries after betrayal. Boundaries are courageous actions that women take to separate themselves from abuse. Lying is a form of psychological and emotional abuse and it causes intense emotional pain in women’s lives.

Seeking support is another important step after discovering betrayal and lying.

BTR Supports Abuse & Betrayal Victims

The free BTR podcast helps women learn more about abuse and trauma so that they can become empowered to identify the abuse in their own lives. Tune in weekly to hear powerful stories from other women who understand what you’re going through.

The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group meets daily in every time zone. BTRG offers women a safe place to process trauma, ask questions, share their stories, and seek support. Join today and find the support that you deserve as you begin your journey to healing.

Full Transcript:

Today we have a brave woman sharing her D-Day story.  

Anonymous: I wanted to do a share about my D-Day, mostly because today is the three year anniversary of my D-Day.

My Husband Lied To me about his porn use

Three years ago, it was a Sunday and I had been at church. At that time I had a young colicky baby. So church for me meant a lot of walking the halls and dealing with sad baby.  But that particular day the third hour of church they had a special kind of visitor come. It was two missionaries from the LDS church’s addiction recovery program specifically on pornography recovery.

They came and talked to the women and the men of my congregation about the addiction recovery program and about their stories. I only was able to hear a little of it because I was in and out with the baby. But I was just thinking at the time “Wow, I’m so grateful I don’t have to deal with that.”  

My Husband Lied To Me For Years

So we went home after church and we got the baby and my older daughter down for a nap and I was just talking to my husband and I said something like, “I’m really glad that you don’t have that problem so we don’t have to deal with it.”

And he got this look on his face, just this like green, almost sick look.  

And I said, “Am I right? We don’t have to deal with that, right?”

And I had thought, I mean I had thought it wasn’t even an issue. Before we got married I had asked him about it, he had told me he was fine, and so in my mind I had covered that.  But he hadn’t been truthful because, hello, addict!  So we had been living a lie.  

Lies Can Shatter Women’s Lives

So, his face goes green, and he said, “Actually I have a problem.” And went on to shatter my life. It was three days before our three year wedding anniversary which really pissed me off too, let’s be honest, because it just, I mean I was looking forward to our anniversary.  I can’t even remember right now what we had planned, probably just dinner, but it just changed the whole thing.

I kept thinking. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do. I wondered, “Do I check up on him? How do I check cookies? How will I know if my husband is lying again?”

Lies destroy trust

I felt like I couldn’t trust my husband anymore that trust was completely shattered and I didn’t know where to go from there. I am one who struggles, who has struggled with emotions.  Dealing with, sharing with, just feeling emotions. I grew up in a home where especially negative emotions were not ok.  We, my siblings and I joke that we grew up in, like our family is British.  We don’t talk about real things. We don’t talk about negative emotion. We don’t talk about depression, or anxiety, or pornography addiction.  

I didn’t know how to handle it, so I just froze.  It took me a long time to start my own recovery.  In fact it wasn’t until this year when my husband had another relapse and I just kind of was done and decided to stop focusing on him and started focusing on me, and that has helped me to be in recovery.

Women Can Find Healing From Betrayal Trauma

It’s kind of been neat for me to look back on this the third anniversary of my D-Day and see just the crushed person I was back then because I was, I was so crushed and so sure that it would lead to divorce or sadness or just how it effected the next, you know, two or three years of my life where I was terrified to have another child with him or terrified to make any plans because my fear of the future was so great.

Healing Is Possible For Victims of Emotional Abuse

But then now, today, being where I am, where I have a sponsor, I’m in good recovery, I’ve found my serenity, and luckily my husband has been working too, I’ve been blessed with that so he’s been in recovery and our relationship is the best it’s ever been.  So I guess I just wanted to share my experience of D-Day those crushing feelings that I’m sure others recognize and just kind of where I am now these three years later that you can have good recovery and you don’t have to let one moment destroy your life.  It definitely works when you work it!  I’ve seen that and I’m just really grateful for the programs available and for the support I have and where it’s led me.

Support the BTR Podcast

Anne: Thanks for coming on today, we appreciate your story. Many abusive men do not choose to change, but that doesn’t mean that victims can’t find healing and peace. With boundaries and support, all betrayal victims can find joy again. We truly believe that at BTR and want to help you on your journey.

For our listeners, please consider supporting the BTR podcast by leaving a review on iTunes or your other podcasting apps.

We appreciate your recurring monthly donations.

We have many fantastic resources available to you – we are here for you as you work toward safety.

Until next week, stay safe out there.

Faith Triumphs Over Satanic Ritual Sexual Abuse

TW: Anna M. Jonathan developed a new relationship with her Higher Power after surviving satanic ritual sex abuse as a child.

Seeking Divorce Without Familial Support

Anna M. Jonathan sought safety from her abusive husband without familial support – if you’re in a similar situation, learn more.

Here’s the Truth About Reunification Camps

Reunification camps are traumatizing children and ruining lives. Tina Swithin is back on the BTR.ORG podcast shedding light on this lucrative, abusive industry.

I catch my husband in lies all the time

Dear Amy: My husband of many years, “Franklin,” has a strategy of lying to me in order to get his way or avoid confrontation.

Amy Dickinson 

Three examples, all this week:

• We make a very substantial annual contribution to an arts organization where he’s on the board. When I reviewed this, he told me that most of the board members give this amount (if not more).

I then discovered that we give 20 times more than most of the other board members.

• Franklin is planning a party. I have some social anxiety and asked him about the growing guest list. He told me that the caterer had a minimum requirement of 20 people. I asked the caterer: No minimum.

• One of Franklin’s brothers will be in our area; I thought it was for one night. Franklin neglected to tell me that not only will his brother and wife be staying with us for a full week, but that other members of his family will also be staying with us for the week. When I found out about the family invasion, Franklin’s response was he was looking for the right moment to tell me, in order to avoid an argument.

This has been going on for decades, including lies that I found out about 10 years later.

This is really starting to affect me. It’s obviously a matter of being able to trust him.

On his part, I get the feeling that he sees me as an impediment that he has to figure out ways of manipulating his way around.

Everything else in our relationship is pretty wonderful, but this is gnawing at me more and more. Is there anything I can do?

 Tired of Being Lied To

Dear Tired: You are (somewhat kindly) seeing this as manipulation.

Manipulation is persuasion plus pressure. Outright lying saves Franklin the trouble of trying to manipulate you.

And inviting family members to stay for days on end in your home without your consent is a flat-out power grab.

You see this as a trust issue, and I agree. You don’t trust Franklin, but he also doesn’t trust you to react predictably to his various schemes.

Lying or hiding the truth from you until it is too late for you to have a say is cowardly.

Because you two have an otherwise wonderful relationship, I sincerely believe you can work this out, especially with the help of a qualified counselor.

Mediation can show each of you how to communicate differently. You can practice truthful conversations where you resolve challenges, and where you compromise — instead of him lying and you reacting.

Dear Amy: I’m in my 30s. Almost four months ago, I ended a very serious five-year relationship with the man I thought I would marry one day. He and I lived together.

These last few months have been hard, but I firmly believe I am better off having left the relationship (the only serious relationship I’ve ever had).

My question is: Is it too soon to move on and start dating again?

I have been in therapy and no longer cry regularly about the breakup. I will probably always love this man but I’m no longer in love with him.

I feel ready and excited to move on, but some have advised me to wait longer.

What do you think?

Ready

Dear Ready: If you’re ready and excited, then Godspeed!

However, I think it’s wisest to approach this next period of your life as one where you continue to get to know yourself.

I hope you don’t set your goal to quickly find another partner, but to learn how to date, how to get to know new people, and how to be a good communicator and a great listener. Apply all of these skills to your various friendships, too.

Dating involves exploration, discernment, communicating, coping with disappointment, and fun.

This is your opportunity to fully embrace a fresh start.

Dear Amy: “I’m Not Cheap” is a self-described “minimalist” who didn’t know what to give a child who already had everything.

I loved your suggestion of giving “coupons” for experiences to share with this child.

I had an aunt who used to take me out — away from my siblings — and do fun things with me. We went to the ballet once (I felt so grown-up!) and out to dinner afterward.

I’m sure she also gave me gifts, but honestly, I don’t remember any of them.

 Grateful

Dear Grateful: I had an aunt like that. And I’ve tried to be an aunt like that.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.

What to do if the husband constantly lies? Guest

Did you behave the same way before you were not a husband?

April 27, 2016 2:38 PM

#3

April 27, 2016 2:39 PM

#4

9 0031 April 27, 2016 02:41 PM

#5

April 27 2016 14:42

#6

April 27, 2016, 2:56 PM

#7

guest

Why is he doing this?

April 27, 2016 02:58 PM

#8

April 27, 2016 03:02 PM

#9

9 0065 April 27, 2016 03:12 PM

#12

April 27 2016, 03:13 PM

#13

Guest

Yeah, what if he constantly lies to everyone? Who is to blame then?

April 27, 2016 03:15 PM

#14

April 27, 2016 03:17 PM

#16

April 27, 2016, 03:19 PM

#17

Guest

Absence trust. The expectation that the truth will be received with condemnation, aggression, pretension, etc. What has already become a habit 5 April 27, 2016, 03:24 PM

#20

Guest

Girls, these challs and other rubbish are trolls, you feed them by talking to them, and they rejoice. Why are you answering them?

April 27, 2016 03:25 PM

#21

April 27, 2016 03:27 PM

#22

April 27, 2016 03:40 PM

#23

April 27 2016, 15:47

#24

April 27, 2016

Sergey Katyshev

Nutritionist

138 answers

April 27, 2016 04:09 PM

#26

April 27, 2016 04:12 PM

#27

Anya

do not publish my topic, I hope the author does not mind if I ask here because an urgent question about the nanny whom we pay, and the son’s classmate also uses it. The son’s classmate lives in the same house as we do. The school is far away, go through garages, and several times crossing a busy roadway. We hired a nanny-escort. We pay 5 thousand to her. And the son’s classmate follows his son’s tail and himself admitted that my mother told me to go with Vladik (my son) and his nanny. So I am amazed at his parents (we know them, our sons went to the same kindergarten) they know that we pay the nanny, and so they incite the son to walk with his tail so that he can safely get home and for free. I told his mother “since your son she also walks with our nanny, maybe then we’ll share her salary or hire your own nanny. , then the son’s classmate stops and waits) And the boy’s mother tells everyone how bad I am (they say it doesn’t matter to me, what will be lost from me, because we still pay) Of course, it won’t decrease from me, but they are pleased to impudently use the service for which others pay Why should I pay for someone else’s child?9No made up stories

• A loan secured by an apartment or a sale? How to stop relationship with a married man

  68 responses

• Is it possible to disinherit my sister?

  46 answers

• Mother-in-law strange behavior

  20 answers

16:17

#30

Anya

do not publish my topic, I hope the author does not mind if I’ll ask here because the question is urgent about the nanny we pay, and the son’s classmate also uses it. The son’s classmate lives in the same house as us. The school is far away, go through garages, and several times crossing a busy roadway. We hired a nanny-escort. We pay 5 thousand to her. And the son’s classmate follows his son’s tail and himself admitted that my mother told me to go with Vladik (my son) and his nanny. So I am amazed at his parents (we know them, our sons went to the same kindergarten) they know that we pay the nanny, and so they incite the son to walk with his tail so that he can safely get home and for free. I told his mother “since your son she also walks with our nanny, maybe then we’ll share her salary or hire your own nanny. , then the son’s classmate stops and waits) And the boy’s mother tells everyone how bad I am (they say it doesn’t matter to me, what will be lost from me, because we still pay) Of course, it won’t decrease from me, but they are pleased to impudently use the service for which others pay Why should I pay for someone else’s child?

April 27, 2016, 04:18 PM

#31

Anya

do not publish my topic, I hope the author does not mind if I ask here because the question is urgent about the nanny we pay, but my son’s classmate also uses it.
My son’s classmate lives in the same house as us. The school is far away, go through garages, and several times crossing a busy roadway.
We hired a nanny-accompanying. We pay 5 thousand to her.
And the son’s classmate follows his son’s tail and admitted that his mother told him to go with Vladik (my son) and his nanny.
I am amazed at his parents (we know them, our sons went to the same kindergarten) they know that we pay the nanny, and so they incite the son to walk with his tail so that he can safely get home and for free.
I said to his mother “since your son also walks with our nanny, maybe then we will chip off on her salary together? Or hire your own nanny.
She said nothing, now her son also walks with his tail, but at a distance of 5 meters from mine son with a nanny (according to the nanny, if they stop, then the son’s classmate stops and waits)
And the boy’s mother tells everyone how bad I am (they say it doesn’t matter to me, what will be lost from me, because we still pay)
Of course, it will not be lost from me, but they are pleased to impudently use the service for which others pay? And why should I pay for someone else’s child?

April 27, 2016, 04:19 PM

#32

Guest

You must be so stupid. .. and greedy. You pay for yours because you care about it. That’s all. The nanny doesn’t do anything anymore, she doesn’t get any more work, what’s the problem? Is it just a toad crushing you? 9G awn

Well, in theory, dear general, where she wants, she goes there . Let the nanny and your son go to a cafe after school or to some big store, like a shopping center. In this case, the other child will be left unattended, the parents will have to pick it up themselves.

April 27, 2016, 04:27 PM

#35

Anya

Are you also one of those freeloaders like the boy’s mother? And you are not ashamed that other people pay for your child (in this case, safety)?

April 27, 2016, 16:29

#36

Guest

I understand you perfectly, I can’t stand freeloaders myself, who condemns you, the impudent poor and b. Idlo. Take comfort in the fact that decent people think the way you do. And the nanny looks at that kid as if he were an unscrupulous rogue and homeless. Have pity on the ill-mannered mother of that child and rejoice for your own – not everyone is lucky to have a mother like his.

April 27, 2016, 16:32

#37

Anya

do not publish my topic, I hope the author does not mind if I ask here because the question is urgent about the nanny we pay, but my son’s classmate also uses. One son’s classmate lives in the same house as us. The school is far away, go through garages, and several times crossing a busy roadway. We hired a nanny-escort. We pay 5 thousand to her. And the son’s classmate follows his son’s tail and himself admitted that my mother told me to go with Vladik (my son) and his nanny. So I am amazed at his parents (we know them, our sons went to the same kindergarten) they know that we pay the nanny, and so they incite the son to walk with his tail so that he can safely get home and for free. I told his mother “since your son she also walks with our nanny, maybe then we’ll share her salary or hire your own nanny. , then the son’s classmate stops and waits) And the boy’s mother tells everyone how bad I am (they say it doesn’t matter to me, what will be lost from me, because we still pay) Of course, it won’t decrease from me, but they are pleased to impudently use the service for which others pay Why should I pay for someone else’s child?

April 27, 2016, 16:32

#38

Guest

I understand you perfectly, I can’t stand freeloaders myself, whoever condemns you is impudent and b. Idlo. Take comfort in the fact that decent people think the way you do. And the nanny looks at that kid as if he were an unscrupulous rogue and homeless. Have pity on the ill-mannered mother of that child and rejoice for your own – not everyone is lucky to have a mother like his.

April 27, 2016 4:35 pm

#39

Guest

And you will change the time when you pick up the child. Either do it earlier or later. Or let them go the other way, go around better. And tell this boy not to follow them, that they are going to another place. Specially. It’s really shameful – freeloaders… and a mother is the same… Lin

2 answers

April 27, 2016, 16:37

#40

Anya

do not publish my topic, I hope the author does not mind if I ask here because the question is urgent about the nanny we pay, and my son’s classmate also uses it. My son’s classmate lives in the same house as us. The school is far away, go through garages, and several times crossing a busy roadway. We hired a nanny-escort. We pay 5 thousand to her. And the son’s classmate follows his son’s tail and himself admitted that my mother told me to go with Vladik (my son) and his nanny. So I am amazed at his parents (we know them, our sons went to the same kindergarten) they know that we pay the nanny, and so they incite the son to walk with his tail so that he can safely get home and for free. I told his mother “since your son she also walks with our nanny, maybe then we’ll share her salary or hire your own nanny. , then the son’s classmate stops and waits) And the boy’s mother tells everyone how bad I am (they say it doesn’t matter to me, what will be lost from me, because we still pay) Of course, it won’t decrease from me, but they are pleased to impudently use the service for which others pay Why should I pay for someone else’s child?

April 27, 2016, 04:39 PM

#41

Guest

I don’t know a single decent person who would think the same way, honestly! I used to take the children to school in general, I even took two more with my own. Was the toad supposed to crush me or did I have to demand from my parents for gasoline? I drive mine, I also capture his friends, I don’t see a problem in this at all.

April 27, 2016, 16:40

#42

Anya

do not publish my topic, I hope the author does not mind if I ask here because the question is urgent about the nanny we pay, but my son’s classmate also uses. son’s classmate lives in the same house as us. The school is far away, go through garages, and several times crossing a busy roadway. We hired a nanny-escort. We pay 5 thousand to her. And the son’s classmate follows his son’s tail and himself admitted that my mother told me to go with Vladik (my son) and his nanny. So I am amazed at his parents (we know them, our sons went to the same kindergarten) they know that we pay the nanny, and so they incite the son to walk with his tail so that he can safely get home and for free. I told his mother “since your son she also walks with our nanny, maybe then we’ll share her salary or hire your own nanny. , then the son’s classmate stops and waits) And the boy’s mother tells everyone how bad I am (they say it doesn’t matter to me, what will be lost from me, because we still pay) Of course, it won’t decrease from me, but they are pleased to impudently use the service for which others pay Why should I pay for someone else’s child?

April 27, 2016, 04:51 PM

#43

guest

Yes, she raises the same redneck selfish as herself.

April 27, 2016 5:02 pm

#44

April 27, 2016 5:18 pm

#45

Guest

Anya, I will give you advice to live well, to the joy of yourself and your loved ones – you need to live with comfort for yourself, provide it for yourself, and not with discomfort for others. If someone next to you is also comfortable, And it doesn’t cost you anything, then why are you nervous? Are you up at night because of that boy? ))) Did it somehow disappear from you that he was following him around? Or do you pay more attention to what benefits his parents have acquired? Please explain, I don’t understand!

April 27, 2016, 5:35 pm

#46

Anya

I don’t like freeloaders. for example, you need to ride a taxi every day, and then every day a freeloader begins to impudently ride with you. You don’t care financially, but you are stupidly used to save money. Yes, and it’s not cultural. And it’s normal for the freeloaders themselves that another person pays for the safety of their child? These 5 thousand don’t fall from the sky to me, I earn them and why do I cry, and they impudently freeload?

April 27, 2016, 17:39

#47

Guest

With a taxi is an incorrect example, you have the right not to take anyone in the car. But a person can walk down the street anywhere and follow anyone. And you yourself are a freeloader, since someone else’s freebie does not give you peace))) How much freebies are there, 2,500 ry, according to your estimates? ))) And you do not sleep because of this, right? Are you suffering? )))

April 27, 2016, 17:46

#48

Anya

do not publish my topic, I hope the author does not mind if I ask here because the question is urgent about the nanny we pay, but my son’s classmate also uses . My son’s classmate lives in the same house as us. The school is far away, go through garages, and several times crossing a busy roadway. We hired a nanny-escort. We pay 5 thousand to her. And the son’s classmate follows his son’s tail and himself admitted that my mother told me to go with Vladik (my son) and his nanny. 9Pro babysitter.
Escort service is paid by the customer of such service. Nanny performer – it provides. The consumer is the son of the author. Is it clear now?
What does someone else’s child have to do with it? And it’s not about the money, but the fact that the mother has sawdust in her head, apparently. The nanny is not responsible for that child. The basis of her activity is looking after the child, in this case, the son of the author. That’s exactly what they get paid for! Why, in relation to the author’s son, does she earn money by this, and in relation to that child – she is obliged to give her services?!?! Once again – she is not just walking with the author’s son, her job is to accompany the child! Who does not understand – repeat or understand? It’s a job, a person earns it. Like a loader, for example. Provides a service. Doesn’t produce anything, but provides a service…

If something happens to that boy, I am 100% sure that everyone will be to blame – the school, the teachers, the author, the nanny, the neighbors, the driver or someone else, but not her!!!! There is such a category of citizens!

Author, solve the problem! What’s the matter!?!!

Husband lies about small things, I don’t know how to behave

May 28, 2014, 11:34 am 005

#2

May 28, 2014, 12 :00

#3

May 28, 2014, 12:22

#4

Irka

There is a logic here. You overloaded it with your checks and control. He wants to have his own space. What would you do in his place?

May 28, 2014, 12:25

#5

Irka

What would you do in his place?

May 28, 2014, 12:31

#6

Guest

There really is no logic. Strange. Maybe he is ill with pathological lies, which is why he emphasized “honesty and decency” as a counterbalance to his illness?

May 28, 2014 12:43

#7

May 28, 2014 12:49

#8

Doubtful

He did not know about these checks. I have enough brains to understand that you can not always peck a person with doubts. He has enough space.

May 28, 2014 12:51 pm

#9

Doubting

In his place? I am comfortable with control. If my conscience is clear, then even if it is controlled, it does not prevent me from doing what I do.

May 28, 2014, 12:54

#10

Guest

There really is no logic. Strange. Maybe he is ill with pathological lies, which is why he emphasized “honesty and decency” as a counterbalance to his illness?

May 28, 2014, 12:55

#11

Irka

Knows. You have enough time together, you see him and he sees you in the same way. And he has the brains to understand you.

May 28, 2014, 12:56

#12

[email protected]

Does he like to drink? And he doesn’t like sweets? They are such liars.

May 28, 2014, 12:59

#13

Irka

And I would start to get very angry, I would start doing the opposite, like in defiance.

May 28, 2014 13:04

#14

May 28, 2014 14:42

#15

May 28, 2014 02:43 PM

#16

May 28 2014, 14:48

#17

Lavender

author, I recently started reading about deceit. there, men lie for pleasure, unlike us women (we are for some purpose, we can justify the reason for lying in our own way). so think about what kind of pleasure your spouse has. maybe he wants to lead you by the nose or did not want to communicate with you (suddenly there is an unpleasant conversation there).

May 28, 2014, 14:50

#18

Lavender

By the way, when a man lies, at that moment he thinks that it is so.

May 28, 2014 03:08 PM

#19

May 28, 2014 03:14 PM

#20

19. here is the answer: people called, a conversation with which would be unpleasant in the presence of his wife .
lies to make life easier for themselves.
and men lie – to make life easier for themselves at that very moment. we know that calls-problems will not be solved by lies.
If you love, then do not leave. Bring him to frankness: what kind of problems? what worries? How can I help you?

May 28, 2014, 03:31 PM

#21

Guest

I will disappoint you. ..that’s how I lived in a lie for many years…but it happened that my husband died…so then I I realized what kind of calls they were – these were people who asked to return debts !!!!!!!!!! my husband left me a “legacy” of 5 loans and a bunch of debts….

May 28, 2014, 15:36 Bring him to frankness: what kind of problems? what worries? How can I help you?

Woman.ru experts

• Sergey Katyshev

  Nutritionist

  138 answers

• Oksana Nosachenko

  Psychologist

  37 answers

• Nina Babanakova

  Nutritionist, consultant on…

  79 answers

• Sadovnikov Ernest

  Psychologist . …

  234 answers

• Dmitry Olegovich Surotkin

  Psychotherapist

  41 answers

• Vladimir Weiss

  Neopsychologist

  226 answers

• Julia Lekomtseva

  Cosmetologist

  286 answers

• Maria Burlakova

  Psychologist

  391 answers

• Vera Vladimirovna Zolotykh

  Psychologist

  149 answers

• Shchipko Ekaterina

  Psychologist-sexologist

  44 answers

May 28, 2014, 03:40 pm

#23

Lavender

Get him out in the open: what’s the problem? what worries? How can I help you?

May 28, 2014, 03:47 PM

#24

Jokes are jokes, but draw conclusions.

May 28, 2014 03:49 PM

#25

May 28, 2014 04:23 PM

#26

Lavender

23. oops. then disperse. after all, in marriage, patience must always be enough. And if not, why bother?
My husband is a drinker. I also suffer. ((

Uninvented stories

• The child is 4 months old, I don’t want to take care of him, I don’t need

  109 answers

• New apartment. do i live there completely on my own

  34 answers

• I found out that my grandparents extorted money from my mom after my dad’s death

  738 answers

• Women over 40, where do you meet?0272

  1,578 answers

• Divorce your wife or put up with it?

  356 responses

May 28, 2014 4:39 PM 23

#28

Lavender

I suffer a lot, but not much. This is my first marriage and I don’t want any other male marriages. But colleagues, relatives, and children can lie, but nothing – I live. Everyone has some flaws.

May 28, 2014 11:10 PM

#29

May 29, 2014 10:12 AM

#30

May 29, 2014 2:24 pm

#31

Guest

Author, and who is your liar according to the horoscope? My Gemini is the same illogical liar on trifles… 006 #33

Doubting

Received confirmation today that a big lie is always hidden behind a small lie … And these hiding places are not in an empty place. He wanted to go where it is more profitable to live, where there are less financial costs. And quietly looking for it behind my back. And I was just another convenient one. And when it became uncomfortable, he began to look for more profitable options …. I cry … I wanted a family and children, but here’s what turned out.

May 30, 2014, 10:01 am

#34

Masha

what kind of confirmation? Did you hear the phone conversation, did you check your mail?

May 30, 2014 10:02 am

#35

May 30, 2014 4:24 pm

#36

New topics

• I’m afraid that I will be alone

• Question for those who do not communicate with close relatives

  2 responses

• Am I pushing the person or is this just an excuse? True love or family ?

  6 replies pity the author. Take all this as a life lesson and try not to mess with such men again.

  Jun 01, 2014 08:56

  #38

  Jun 04, 2014 02:30

  #39

  June 05, 2014, 13:24

  #40

  January 20 2018 23:34

  #41

  May 26, 2018 12:29

  #41

  August 14, 2018 13:34

  #42

  August 14, 2018, 13:40

  #43

  Doubtful

  It just doesn’t look like a pathology. Because it only hides certain calls, not all. Recently, he has been hiding calls from those people from whom he once rented an apartment … It seems that he is planning something behind my back, but I don’t understand what. Somehow it became dumb to live with him. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to logically calculate what’s going on and some kind of sad picture is obtained. He has been earning little for several months now, his expenses are only on food and utilities, I began to pay rent for an apartment. In the last month, he doesn’t even have enough money for food. I was tired of this and I said that let the lease agreement be renegotiated for him and this would be his responsibility. There is no money now, he cannot earn money, let him borrow, somehow he gets out himself, and does not count on me all the time. And then I accidentally find out that he calls up with those from whom he rented an apartment. When the owner of one of the apartments called him back in front of me, he did not answer the call, he said that just a friend called and he would call him back later. I sensed something was wrong, made a printout of the calls and found out who he called. He then really called back this “friend” allegedly and talked for about 5 minutes. I don’t know how to behave. Can put it silently with things? Six months ago, he hid calls from the teacher (***** already, so betrayal is excluded, he is not a gerontophile). Also the same – did not answer the call, said that it was a friend who called, that he would call back later. It seems to me that if a person hides something, it means that he is doing something bad behind his back…

  August 14, 2018, 13:49

  #44

  Doubting

  Yes, I would be glad not to mess with such people! And how to guess something? Well, I checked him for honesty and decency up and down … But he still turned out to be a bastard. Now he asks for forgiveness … but I have some kind of feeling of disgust towards him.

  August 14, 2018, 18:52

  #45

  August 14, 2018, 19:05

  #46

  August 14, 2018, 19Virgo.

  January 30, 2019, 11:54

  #49

  Doubting

  It just doesn’t look like a pathology. Because it only hides certain calls, not all. Recently, he has been hiding calls from those people from whom he once rented an apartment … It seems that he is planning something behind my back, but I don’t understand what. Somehow it became dumb to live with him. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to logically calculate what’s going on and some kind of sad picture is obtained. He has been earning little for several months now, his expenses are only on food and utilities, I began to pay rent for an apartment. In the last month, he doesn’t even have enough money for food. I was tired of this and I said that let the lease agreement be renegotiated for him and this would be his responsibility. There is no money now, he cannot earn money, let him borrow, somehow he gets out himself, and does not count on me all the time. And then I accidentally find out that he calls up with those from whom he rented an apartment.