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Multiple Orgasms in Men-What We Know So Far


Introduction:

There is much popular discussion on strategies to facilitate multiple orgasms in men (ie, 100,000+ hits in Google), yet the topic has not received an objective comprehensive review in the literature.


Aim:

To review the literature on male multiple orgasms.


Methods:

We searched the literature for publications on “male multiple orgasms” and factors influencing male multiple orgasms in Google, PubMed, and PsychINFO. This yielded 15 relevant publications.


Main outcome measures:

A comprehensive overview on the topic of male multiple orgasms and factors that influence the propensity of men to experience multiple orgasms.


Results:

Few men are multiorgasmic: <10% for those in their 20s, and <7% after the age of 30. The literature suggests 2 types of male multiple orgasms: “sporadic” multiorgasms, with interorgasmic intervals of several minutes, and “condensed” multiorgasms, with bursts of 2-4 orgasms within a few seconds to 2 minutes. Multiple orgasms appear physiologically similar to the single orgasm in mono-orgasmic men. However, in a single case study, a multiorgasmic man did not experience with his first orgasm the prolactin surge that usually occurs with orgasm in mono-orgasmic men. Various factors may facilitate multiple orgasms: (1) practicing to have an orgasm without ejaculation; (2) using psychostimulant drugs; (3) having multiple and/or novel sexual partners; or (4) using sex toys to enhance tactile stimulation. However, confirmatory physiological data on any of these factors are few. In some cases, the ability to experience multiple orgasms may increase after medical procedures that reduce ejaculation (eg, prostatectomy or castration), but what factor(s) influence this phenomenon is poorly investigated.


Conclusion:

Despite popular interest, the topic of male multiple orgasms has received surprisingly little scientific assessment. The role of ejaculation and physiological change during the refractory period in inhibiting multiple orgasms has barely been investigated.


Keywords:

Ejaculation; Male; Multiple Orgasms; Multiple Partners; Psychostimulant Drugs; Refractory Period; Sex Toys.

Ejaculatory and Orgasmic Disorders | UCSF Department of Urology

Ejaculation is the expulsion of semen from the penis. Orgasm is a feeling of intense pleasure, relaxation, and connection that is associated with sexual climax. In most men, orgasm and ejaculation happen simultaneously but they are in fact different physiological events that can occur independently of one another. One can think of ejaculation as the events that happen in the pelvis at sexual climax and orgasm as what happens in the mind.

Many men experience disruption or disturbance of their ejaculatory function at some point in their life. This may occur in the setting of erectile dysfunction (trouble getting or keeping an erection) or low libido (decreased sexual interest) but can also occur in men with normal erection responses. These problems can be lifelong or acquired. The cause and management of ejaculation/orgasmic issues depends in large part on where the problem lies.
 

Early/Premature Ejaculation

Early or Premature Ejaculation (PE) is ejaculation that occurs before the man wishes it to occur and over which he has little to no sense of control. Precise definitions for this condition have varied but the current bulk of evidence suggests that clinically relevant PE is typically associated with ejaculation before or within one minute of penile penetration in the case of lifelong PE and within 2-3 minutes of penetration in acquired PE.

It is important to note that many men may think that they have an abnormally short ejaculation latency. In some cases this may be related to what they have seen or heard through popular culture and/or sexually explicit media. There is a wide range of what is normal; however, existing population studies have suggested that the average latency time (i.e. time between penile penetration to ejaculation) is about 5 minutes and most men have latency times that are within 2-3 minutes of that. Hence, some men may think that they have rapid ejaculation when in fact they are well within the range of what is normal. Occasional very rapid ejaculation is also common, particularly in men who have not ejaculated recently.

The cause of PE is not completely understood. Over the years experts have theorized that anxiety about sexual performance, conditioning, relationship stress, conditions such as thyroid disorders or prostate infection, penile hypersensitivity, and/or differences in metabolism of the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine may cause PE. There is some support for each of these different theories and it is likely that in many cases the issue is not related to one single cause.

A number of psychotherapeutic and behavioral approaches have been promoted for managing PE. These are typically geared towards helping a man to recognize the signs of impending climax, thus enabling him to take steps to diminish or slow his arousal state. Support and involvement of the partner is essential.

There is no FDA approved medical therapy for PE in the United States although a drug has been approved for PE in other countries. Although no drug has been formally approved, off label use of oral Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI) has been associated with improvement in ejaculation latency for men with PE. Brief application of of a topical anesthetic to the penis may also be of benefit in select cases. A careful consultation and review of the risks and benefits of medical therapy for PE should be considered before starting any therapy.

 

Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed Ejaculation (DE) can be thought of as the opposite of PE. It is defined as difficulty or inability to reach sexual climax after a period of desired sexual stimulation. This condition is poorly understood; it is more common in older men but can occur in men of any age. It may be related to changes in serum testosterone levels, declines in penile sensitivity, secondary to issues of decreased erection responses and/or libido, or other relationship causes. Anti-depressants, particularly those of the SSRI class, are commonly associated with delayed or absent orgasmic responses.

Some experts have theorized that delayed ejaculation may be the result of conditioning of their sexual responses; this theory is based on the observation that some men (typically young) may be able to reach climax during masturbation but have trouble when engaging in sex with a partner. While interesting, it may also be hypothesized that these younger men simply need more intense sexual stimulation. The true cause of delayed ejaculation in such cases is difficult to determine.

There is no specific treatment for DE. The patient’s general medical and sexual history should be assessed. Time of onset is important to know…potential precipitating factors (e.g. surgery, new medications) should be assessed. Basic lab tests, including assessment of sex hormones, should be obtained. Medications that are known to impair orgasmic response should be stopped or changed if possible. The quality and nature of the patient’s intimate relationship(s) should also be assessed.

Although there is no FDA approved therapy for DE, some medical therapies have been studied and may have some efficacy in helping alleviate symptoms. Men with DE and their partners may also consider modifying their sexual routines; use of sex enhancement devices and/or novel sexual practices may increase arousal and help men with DE reach climax. Open and honest communication and agreement on what is and is not acceptable is essential to treatment success.

 

Decreased/Absent Ejaculation

The force and volume of ejaculation tends to decline as men age. Absent or diminished ejaculation is also common in men who are taking certain medications or who have had surgery for an enlarged prostate or prostate cancer. Many of these men will experience no ejaculation during sexual climax; depending on their prior treatment this can be due to lack of semen production or “retrograde ejaculation”, when semen is released but goes backwards into the bladder rather than out through the penis. Decline or absence in ejaculation force/volume is not dangerous but can be disturbing to some men; it may also change the man’s feeling or orgasm through mechanisms that are not entirely understood.

Should Men Worry About Dry Orgasms?

A dry orgasm?

For men, it sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? Men ejaculate semen at orgasm. Doesn’t that make orgasms, by definition, wet?

The answer is: Not all the time. Some men reach orgasm – and feel great pleasure from it – but do not ejaculate any semen at all. Or, they might ejaculate a very small amount. This is what we mean by “dry orgasm.”

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Some men reach orgasm – and feel great pleasure from it – but do not ejaculate any semen at all. (Click to tweet)

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While they might seem a bit unusual, dry orgasms are usually nothing to worry about. They can be a challenge for couples who would like to conceive, but they generally not a health risk.

 

What causes dry orgasms?

Men may have dry orgasms for a variety of reasons.

Younger men with short refractory periods might have them occasionally. The refractory period is a period of time after orgasm during which a man’s body recovers and doesn’t respond to sexual stimulation. These intervals often don’t last long in younger men. In fact, it can be just minutes before a man is “ready to go” again. And he might climax several times during one sexual encounter.

Eventually, however, the well runs dry. A man has a limited amount of semen to ejaculate and if he keeps going, that supply will be depleted. It’s not a cause for worry, though. In a day or two, the man’s body will produce semen to replace what has been ejaculated and he’ll be back to a full supply.

Certain medical conditions can lead to dry orgasms, too, especially in older men. Men who have had surgery for prostate cancer or an enlarged prostate (benign prostatic hyperplasia) often experience dry orgasm. So do men who have had their bladder removed.

Other possible causes include medications (such as those for high blood pressure or an enlarged prostate), radiation therapy, nerve damage, low testosterone, and spinal cord injury.

In some cases, men develop retrograde ejaculation. When this happens, semen isn’t expelled from the tip of the penis. Instead, it goes backward into the bladder. It is not harmful, however. The semen exits the body when the man urinates.

 

How do dry orgasms affect fertility?

Men who regularly have dry orgasms have difficulty getting their partner pregnant through intercourse. But it still might be possible for them to father children. For example, men who have retrograde ejaculation may have sperm cells removed from their urine. Those cells can be used to fertilize egg cells. Eventually, an embryo can be transferred to a woman’s uterus.

Do men with dry orgasms still need to practice safe sex?

Men who have dry orgasms should still use condoms if they want to reduce the risk of unplanned pregnancy or sexually-transmitted infections. Some men do ejaculate small amounts of semen, so safe sex is still important.

What can men do about dry orgasms?

If dry orgasms are a problem for you, be sure to see your doctor. If a medication is the cause, changing medications might be the solution. (Note: One should never adjust medication without the advice of a doctor.) If you and your partner wish to conceive a child, your doctor can refer you to a fertility specialist.


Print this article or view it as a PDF file here: Should Men Worry About Dry Orgasms?


Resources

Healthdirect Australia

“Dry orgasm”

(Last reviewed: July 2015)

http://www.healthdirect.gov.au/dry-orgasm

International Society for Sexual Medicine

“What causes retrograde ejaculation?”

http://www.issm.info/education-for-all/sexual-health-qa/what-causes-retrograde-ejaculation

Mayo Clinic

“Dry orgasm”

(January 22, 2015)

http://www.mayoclinic.org/symptoms/dry-orgasm/basics/definition/sym-20050906

Netdoctor

Delvin, David, MD

“Dry orgasms”

(June 27, 2013)

http://www. netdoctor.co.uk/conditions/sexual-health/a2268/dry-orgasms/

Delayed ejaculation – Symptoms and causes

Overview

Delayed ejaculation — sometimes called impaired ejaculation — is a condition in which it takes an extended period of sexual stimulation for men to reach sexual climax and release semen from the penis (ejaculate). Some men with delayed ejaculation are unable to ejaculate at all.

Delayed ejaculation can be temporary or a lifelong problem. Possible causes of delayed ejaculation include certain chronic health conditions, surgeries and medications. Treatment for delayed ejaculation depends on the underlying cause.

It’s normal for men to have delayed ejaculation from time to time. Delayed ejaculation is only a problem if it’s ongoing or causes stress for you or your partner.

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Symptoms

Some men with delayed ejaculation need 30 minutes or more of sexual stimulation to have an orgasm and ejaculate. Other men might not be able to ejaculate at all (anejaculation).

But, there’s no specific time that indicates a diagnosis of delayed ejaculation. Instead, you are probably experiencing delayed ejaculation if the delay is causing distress or frustration, or if you have to stop sexual activity due to fatigue, physical irritation, loss of erection or a request from your partner.

Often, men might have difficulty reaching orgasm during sexual intercourse or other sexual activities with a partner. Some men can ejaculate only when masturbating.

Delayed ejaculation is divided into the following types based on symptoms:

  • Lifelong vs. acquired. With lifelong delayed ejaculation, the problem is present from the time of sexual maturity. Acquired delayed ejaculation occurs after a period of normal sexual functioning.
  • Generalized vs. situational. Generalized delayed ejaculation isn’t limited to certain sex partners or certain kinds of stimulation. Situational delayed ejaculation occurs only under certain circumstances.

These categories help in diagnosing an underlying cause and determining what might be the most effective treatment.

When to see a doctor

Your primary care doctor is a good place to start when you have delayed ejaculation. See your doctor if:

  • Delayed ejaculation is an issue for you or your partner
  • You have another known health problem that might be linked to delayed ejaculation, or you take medications that could be causing the problem
  • You have other symptoms along with delayed ejaculation that might or might not seem related

Causes

Delayed ejaculation can result from medications, certain chronic health conditions and surgeries. Or it might be caused by substance misuse or a mental health concern, such as depression, anxiety or stress. In many cases, it is due to a combination of physical and psychological concerns.

Psychological causes of delayed ejaculation include:

  • Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
  • Relationship problems due to stress, poor communication or other concerns
  • Anxiety about performance
  • Poor body image
  • Cultural or religious taboos
  • Differences between the reality of sex with a partner and sexual fantasies

Medications and other substances that can cause delayed ejaculation include:

  • Some antidepressants
  • Certain high blood pressure medications
  • Certain diuretics
  • Some antipsychotic medications
  • Some anti-seizure medications
  • Alcohol — particularly drinking too much (excessive alcohol use or alcoholism)

Physical causes of delayed ejaculation include:

  • Certain birth defects affecting the male reproductive system
  • Injury to the pelvic nerves that control orgasm
  • Certain infections, such as a urinary tract infection
  • Prostate surgery, such as transurethral resection of the prostate or prostate removal
  • Neurological diseases, such as diabetic neuropathy, stroke or nerve damage to the spinal cord
  • Hormone-related conditions, such as low thyroid hormone level (hypothyroidism) or low testosterone level (hypogonadism)
  • Retrograde ejaculation, a condition in which the semen goes backward into the bladder rather than out of the penis

For some men, a minor physical problem that causes a delay in ejaculation might cause anxiety about ejaculating during a sexual encounter. The resulting anxiety might worsen delayed ejaculation.

Risk factors

A number of things can increase your risk of having delayed ejaculation, including:

  • Older age — as men age, it’s normal for ejaculation to take longer
  • Psychological conditions, such as depression or anxiety
  • Medical conditions, such as diabetes or multiple sclerosis
  • Certain medical treatments, such as prostate surgery
  • Medications, particularly certain antidepressants, high blood pressure medications or diuretics
  • Relationship problems, such as poor communication with your partner
  • Excessive alcohol use, especially if you’re a long-term heavy drinker

Complications

Complications of delayed ejaculation can include:

  • Diminished sexual pleasure for you and your partner
  • Stress or anxiety about sexual performance
  • Marital or relationship problems due to an unsatisfactory sex life
  • Inability to get your partner pregnant (male infertility)

Understanding Male Sexual Problems — the Basics

What Are Male Sexual Problems?

Problems with sexual functioning are common, affecting more than half of all couples at some time. Although sexual dysfunction rarely threatens physical health, it can take a heavy psychological toll, bringing on depression, anxiety, and debilitating feelings of inadequacy. Male sexual problems, particular erectile dysfunction, may suggest an increased risk of vascular disease, so tell your doctor about it.

The major categories of sexual dysfunction in men include:

  • Erectile dysfunction: sometimes called impotence, it is the inability to have or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual functioning.
  • Premature ejaculation: an inability to delay orgasm and ejaculation, such that it occurs very early in the course of sexual contact, leaving the other partner dissatisfied.
  • Male orgasmic disorder: an inability to reach orgasm (climax) with a partner; or the inability to achieve orgasm without lengthy sexual contact; or the inability to have an orgasm during intercourse. In some cases, orgasm can be achieved only through masturbation or oral sex.
  • Inhibited or hypoactive sexual desire: a disinterest in sexual contact or complete lack of sexual desire.
  • Retrograde ejaculation: the semen, rather than emerging from the end of the penis, moves backward into the bladder during orgasm. This isn’t dangerous. It is often a side effect of taking certain medications.
  • Priapism: a prolonged erection unaccompanied by sexual desire; this rare condition is painfil, potentially dangerous, and requires immediate medical attention.

If your sexual problem only occurs under a particular set of circumstances, or only with certain sexual partners, then your condition is considered to be “situational” rather than “generalized” (occurring regardless of the circumstances or partner).

Many of these sexual conditions will occur at some point during the course of a man’s life. In fact, some researchers only consider a diagnosis of sexual dysfunction if the problem occurs in 25% of all attempted sexual encounters.

What Causes Male Sexual Problems?

Because the sexual response is so complex, involving multiple factors, there are many causes of sexual dysfunction including physical and psychological causes.

An erection involves the nervous and vascular systems (the network of arteries and veins) and appropriate levels of hormones, so problems with any of these systems can interfere with sexual functioning.

Common physical causes of sexual problems include the following:

  • Conditions or behaviors that increase the risk of vascular disease, such as smoking, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity, or the medications to treat these and other disorders
  • Diabetes, especially if you have type 2 diabetes
  • Hypogonadism, in which the testicles do not produce enough testosterone
  • Thyroid disorders(both hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism)
  • Adrenal lesions (Cushing’s syndrome)
  • Noncancerous pituitary growths that increase levels of a hormone called prolactin
  • Diseases that affect the nervous system, including strokes, spinal cord injuries, multiple sclerosis, long-standing diabetes, and Parkinson’s disease
  • Damage to arteries or veins following pelvic surgery (such as prostate, colon, or bladder surgery) or after radiation treatment
  • Conditions that affect the penis directly, such as Peyronie’s disease (penile curvature) or injury to the penis itself or to the arteries, veins, or nerves that supply the penis
  • Cardiovascular (heart) disease
  • Blockages in the blood flow to the penis (usually due to injury)
  • Leaky veins

Premature ejaculation (PE) is usually not due to physical causes, although the problem is sometimes linked to a neurological disorder, prostate infections, or urethritis.

Possible psychological causes of sexual dysfunction include:

  • Anxiety
  • Guilty feelings about sex
  • Sexual aversion disorder
  • Learned behavior pattern of rapid ejaculation seen with frequent masturbation or infrequent sexual activity

Painful intercourse usually has physical causes such as these:

Lack of sexual desire may be due to any of these factors:

Retrograde ejaculation may occur in men from these causes:

  • Prostate or urethral surgery
  • Medication that keeps the bladder neck open
  • Diabetes (which can injure the nerves that normally close the bladder during ejaculation)

Priapismmay be caused by:

  • Penile trauma
  • Medical conditions such as sickle cell disease, leukemia, gout, diabetes
  • Certain medications, including those used to treat erectile dysfunction

Can Medication Cause Sexual Problems?

Many medications have been implicated in sexual dysfunction, causing inhibited sexual desire and/or erectile dysfunction, such as:

Psychological Factors in Sexual Problems

Psychological factors play an important role. You may find it difficult to enjoy a sexual relationship if:

  • You are under a lot of stress
  • Your relationship is troubled
  • You have a history of traumatic sexual encounters (rape or incest)
  • You were raised in a family with strict sexual taboos
  • You’re afraid of getting your partner pregnant or of contracting a sexually-transmitted disease
  • You have negative feelings (including guilt, anger, fear, low self-esteem, and anxiety)
  • You are depressed
  • You are severely fatigued
  • You are pushing yourself to have sexual relations with someone you are not attracted to sexually
  • Gender dysphoria issues.

Environmental Factors in Sexual Problems

You may find it difficult to enjoy sex if there is no safe, private place to relax and allow yourself to become sexual, or if fatigue due to an overly busy work and personal life robs you of the energy to participate sexually. Parents may find it difficult to find the time to be sexually intimate, given the demands/presence of their children.

Fear of contracting HIV (human immunodeficiency virus, which can lead to AIDS), the difficulties of striving for “safer sex,” and the psychological effects of discrimination are just a few of the factors that can cause anxieties for men.

Everything you need to know!

Orgasms give you an extraordinary feeling of pleasure. You orgasm when your sexual desire reaches the state of ejaculation or a discharge that is accumulated by erotic tension. Whether you’re a man or a woman, with the right kind of sexual stimulation and intimate touching, an orgasm or a climax is highly possible. However, a lot depends on how you approach this peak of excitement and sensational intensity. Not only is it possible with a physical engagement with your body or your partner, but much of it also relies on your extensive psychological and mental imaginations. Although, an accurate definition or explanation of orgasm still ceases to exist, here’s all you need to know about approaching and achieving orgasm.

What is an Orgasm?

As discussed, an orgasm is a feeling of immense pleasure and a climax of sexual tension and excitement. It is not only caused due to intense sexual stimulation but can also be achieved during any kind of sexual activity, ranging from an act of foreplay to sexual intercourse. Scientifically speaking, orgasms are involuntary actions controlled by the nervous system, where a man or a woman experiences muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body. Once achieved, the person is borne to have a relaxing experience due to the release of neurohormones oxytocin and prolactin as well as endorphins.

Types of Orgasms
While the feeling of an orgasm is common to all, the types can differ from one another. Here are some of the most common types of orgasms.

Clitoral: A clitoris is a small part of the female body that is positioned at the top of the vulva. It is a highly sensitive area, which gets wet when rubbed or touched profusely. With an application of highly intensified and fast pressure in a repetitive motion, the orgasm begins to intensify in both the male and the female.

Anal: Anal Orgasms are more frequent in men because of the prostate, but can be achieved by anyone with a simple rub or stimulation around the openings of the anus.

Vaginal: Vaginal orgasm is one of the best ways for women to orgasm. As you intensify your touch and identify your G-spot, you can apply direct stimulation with the help of a partner or engage in self-stimulation to lead to a state of climax.

Combo: A Combo orgasm is a blend of both clitoral and vaginal stimulation. This is the easiest way to reach an orgasm for women but sometimes men also enjoy it in the process.

Erogenous Zones: The erogenous zones can only be found through experimentation. Parts of the body such as the neck, teeth on your nipples, when touched, help in intensifying the pleasure and sometimes even help achieve an orgasm. All one needs to do is kiss the neck or touch the sensitive areas on the body.

According to an American sex researcher Better Dodson, there are also forms of orgasms that can be commonly achieved by both men and women through just genital stimulation. That being said, here are 5 other kinds of orgasms.

Pressure Orgasms: Pressure orgasms are the kind that is independent of a partner. It is achieved through an indirect stimulation that is initiated with applied pressure.

Combination Orgasms: Combination Orgasms are a blend of different orgasms experienced at the same time and cannot be identified specifically.

Multiple Orgasms: Multiple Orgasms are a series of climax reached in a short period of time.

Tension Orgasms: Tension Orgasms are felt through direct stimulation and is achieved when the muscles and the body are tensed.

Relaxation Orgasms: Relaxation Orgasms are achieved when the body is calm and free from all the tension during a sexual activity.

Male Orgasms: How to achieve?

Orgasms in men are induced by a steroid hormone called testosterone, produced in the testicles. While it may seem easy for a man to achieve an orgasm, it is however extremely complex and procedural. Besides the necessity for a sexual desire, there are many other things that are to be accomplished in the process. That being said, here are 4 steps for a man to follow in order to achieve an orgasm.

1.
Arousal or Excitement – In this stage, the man jumps right into a state of excitement and sexual arousal, due to a sexual desire. This can be triggered through any form of sexual interest and/or different forms of foreplay. While in a state of arousal, the male genital i.e. the penis, is bound to harden as the blood rush from the arteries to the penis is faster than the usual flow and the veins in the penis that normally drain blood out disable the outflow of the blood from the penis.

2.
Plateau – After continuous stimulation, the male body prepares itself for an ejaculation, which can go on from 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Just seconds before the orgasm, the male urethra will release a clear fluid. This pre-ejaculatory fluid changes the pH level of the Urethra that improves the quality of the sperm.

3.
Orgasm – While the male body reaches its climax at this stage, the orgasm is divided into two parts i.e. Emission and ejaculation. Emission is the point where there is no looking back for the man. At this stage, the male body must move forward to the stage of ejaculation.

4. Resolution – At this stage, the body is relaxed and the accumulated tension will fade. Slowly and steadily the penis will lose its erection. This is followed by a refractory period, during which the male body cannot achieve another erection. However, when it comes to women, they can achieve multiple orgasms one after the other.

Female Orgasms: How to achieve?

When it comes to female orgasms, there’s a whole lot of patience and understanding that goes with the necessary sexual stimulation and intensity. Unlike men, women don’t always reach an orgasm in the process of sexual intercourse. That said, it becomes extremely important to understand the female climax, in order to achieve the ultimate sense of pleasure. Here are the 4 stages involved in female orgasms.

1. Excitement – At this stage of arousal, blood flow is higher in the genital and sexually sensitive areas in a female body. With the increase in heart rate, blood pressure and breathing, the women feel a sense of excitement and a gush of pleasure.

2. Plateau – Plateau is the stage where women arousal rate builds and reaches the peak of its sexual tension. The sexual stimulation that arouses the woman takes over all other senses in the body.

3. Orgasm – Finally when the female body cannot hold it anymore, it releases all the sexual tension accumulated due to continuous sexual intercourse or self-stimulation. A deep sense of warmth and pleasure is released from the pelvic area that spreads to the entire body.

4. Resolution – Finally, the body of the woman is relaxed and the blood is released to other parts of the body, making the genitals free of all the tension. Everything from the heart rate to blood pressure to breathing decreases. However, a female can engage in another set of orgasm, almost immediately.

Well, reaching a state of orgasm is simply an understanding between our bodily senses and our sexual desires. Once the two are on the same tangent, nothing can really slow down or hinder the process.

To find what an orgasm feels like read more:
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/how-to-know-when-you-are-actually-having-an-orgasm/photostory/59141817.cm

Multiple Orgasms in Men—What We Know So Far

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sxmr.2015.12.004Get rights and content

Abstract

Introduction

There is much popular discussion on strategies to facilitate multiple orgasms in men (ie, 100,000+ hits in Google), yet the topic has not received an objective comprehensive review in the literature.

Aim

To review the literature on male multiple orgasms.

Methods

We searched the literature for publications on “male multiple orgasms” and factors influencing male multiple orgasms in Google, PubMed, and PsychINFO. This yielded 15 relevant publications.

Main Outcome Measures

A comprehensive overview on the topic of male multiple orgasms and factors that influence the propensity of men to experience multiple orgasms.

Results

Few men are multiorgasmic: <10% for those in their 20s, and <7% after the age of 30. The literature suggests 2 types of male multiple orgasms: “sporadic” multiorgasms, with interorgasmic intervals of several minutes, and “condensed” multiorgasms, with bursts of 2–4 orgasms within a few seconds to 2 minutes. Multiple orgasms appear physiologically similar to the single orgasm in mono-orgasmic men. However, in a single case study, a multiorgasmic man did not experience with his first orgasm the prolactin surge that usually occurs with orgasm in mono-orgasmic men. Various factors may facilitate multiple orgasms: (1) practicing to have an orgasm without ejaculation; (2) using psychostimulant drugs; (3) having multiple and/or novel sexual partners; or (4) using sex toys to enhance tactile stimulation. However, confirmatory physiological data on any of these factors are few. In some cases, the ability to experience multiple orgasms may increase after medical procedures that reduce ejaculation (eg, prostatectomy or castration), but what factor(s) influence this phenomenon is poorly investigated.

Conclusion

Despite popular interest, the topic of male multiple orgasms has received surprisingly little scientific assessment. The role of ejaculation and physiological change during the refractory period in inhibiting multiple orgasms has barely been investigated.

Key Words

Multiple Orgasms

Male

Ejaculation

Refractory Period

Sex Toys

Psychostimulant Drugs

Multiple Partners

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90,000 Orgasm for men – 13 questions and answers

But let’s be honest: we are not worried about “premature death” for selfish reasons. Vice versa! We are worried: did the beloved have time to enjoy the process itself? Otherwise, it happens that the process is too long (for some reason it is not customary to talk about this at all) – again anxiety: will our happiness not be overworked on the love front?

For some reason they often write about erection and potency in popular magazines.But about the end – almost never.

1. Are orgasm and ejaculation the same thing?

A man experiences orgasm during ejaculation. Orgasm can be stormy and emotionally charged, it can be quite dull. The latter case can be conditionally called ejaculation without orgasm. But the opposite situation (orgasm without ejaculation) is difficult to imagine. Unless some sexual giant will commit 7 sexual acts in a row – and on the eighth he will not have accumulated seminal fluid.

2. How many orgasms in a row can be considered normal?

Stories about the fact that someone “finished and immediately started again” are mostly bluffs. At a young age (up to 25 years old), a man who is deeply in love can have a 3-minute break between acts; this interval increases with age. With stable sexual relations, people are usually satisfied with one orgasm, with frequent changes of partners, you want to get the most – then the norm is 2-3 ejaculations in a row (the time interval between them again depends on age).Neither he nor she needs more. Guys just lie godlessly.

3. Is there male anorgasmia?

It happens. The reasons are different: these may be disorders in the cerebral cortex, or adhesions in the genitals (after operations, for example, or infectious diseases). There are a number of diseases (spinal cord or spine) that lead to “retrograde ejaculation” – the sperm is not thrown out, but inward and into the bladder. Outwardly, this is perceived as a lack of ejaculation, but sperm cells are found in urine tests.In this case, the erection is absolutely normal.

4. What is accelerated ejaculation?

There is no such concept at all in modern sexology. There is a concept of “disharmony in a pair”. By and large – it doesn’t matter whether a man “finishes” in 10 seconds or in 40 minutes; the main thing is that both partners are satisfied. “Accelerated ejaculation” is most often a psychological problem. 80% of “accelerators” are treated simply by conversation.

5. “Tantric sex”, when a man does not ejaculate for several days, really “energizes” and prolongs life?

Artificial prolongation of sexual intercourse (especially at the age of over 40) only harms the health of a man: after all, it increases both pressure and pulse, it is not only physical, but also mental and hormonal stress.Sex should not become either a job or a religious practice. Sex is relaxation and pleasure, and this is how it should be treated. The French are hardly more unhappy in love than Indian yogis or Chinese Taoists.

6. Does circumcision affect the male orgasm?

If the foreskin is removed and the glans penis is open all the time, it becomes less sensitive. Therefore, the sexual intercourse of a “circumcised” man lasts longer than that of an uncircumcised man.

7.Is the male orgasm as dependent on posture as the female?

Same. I mean, to the same extent, but not in the same way. A woman, having changed her position, will receive different sensations, other points of her body will be stimulated – and this is what affects orgasm. For a man, it is more important to change the perspective from which he sees his partner. A banal truth: a man loves with his eyes. Therefore, many representatives of the stronger sex like “doggy-style” – when everything is open to the eye.

8. What determines the intensity of ejaculation?

Sometimes the semen just “shoots out”! And sometimes it flows out sluggishly… As a rule, the first shot is fired. After the second and subsequent acts, the sperm will simply flow out. Good pressure indicates good performance of the reproductive system. Even if the first portion is “sluggish”, then the sperm is too viscous. This may be due to prolonged abstinence, chlamydial infection, colds, and beginning prostatitis. “Sluggishness” is a reason to consult a doctor. There is no need to take comfort in the fact that the problem is “age-related”; sperm quality should not depend on age.

9. Should the frequency of intercourse coincide with the frequency of orgasms?

For a woman, this is, as you know, an optional moment: ladies do not “end” every time – and nothing particularly terrible happens. So: men have the same thing. The noblest of them, having brought their woman to orgasm, may not finish, but simply stop. However, if this happens more than half the time, this is already a cause for concern.

10. What is the risk of prolonged absence of ejaculation?

Prostatitis and other inflammatory phenomena – in most cases, the consequences of stagnation.The combination of chastity with a sedentary lifestyle is generally dangerous for the pelvic organs. Even Julius Caesar, after sitting for several hours on the imperial throne, invariably jumped back behind the screen, where two slaves were waiting for him for a blowjob. In the end, if life does not take shape yet, then masturbation can act as “substitution therapy”.

11. Is it normal to ejaculate without intercourse?

Looked at a picture in a magazine – and finished. This is not called ejaculation, but spermatorrhea.It is a disease caused by the flabbiness of the muscles surrounding the prostate gland. In general, this is a very advanced case of prostatitis.

12. Is it true that it is easier for a man to get an orgasm from oral sex than from genital sex?

This is purely a matter of personal preference. The only thing to remember is that a blow job in the morning can lead to male anorgasmia. As well as any non-observance of hygiene rules in general. In the oral cavity, bacteria accumulate overnight, which leads not only to tooth decay.Getting into the urinary and vas deferens of a man, these bacteria multiply excellently, lead to inflammatory diseases, adhesions … Then return to question No. 3. And go and brush your teeth.

13. Does a man’s food affect the taste of his semen?

Sweets and fruits make it more delicious. Garlic greatly spoils the taste and smell of semen. Genital inflammatory diseases can make semen bitter or disgustingly bland. Therefore, if you feel that something is wrong, there is no need to spare his pride, it is better to think about his health and honestly say: “Tasty!”

90,000 Little death. What happens to the brain during orgasm

https://ria.ru/20200902/orgazm-1576600747.html

Little death. What happens to the brain during orgasm

Little death. What happens to the brain during orgasm What Happens to the Brain During Orgasm

Scientists have found that during sexual climax, many parts of the brain, including the deepest, exhibit unique activities. None of them are RIA Novosti, 02.09.2020

2020-09-02T08: 00

2020-09-02T08: 00

2020-09-02T12: 16

science

switzerland

discoveries – ria science

health

biology

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MOSCOW, September 2 – RIA Novosti, Tatyana Pichugina.Scientists have found that during sexual climax, many parts of the brain, including the deepest, exhibit unique activities. None of them are disabled. Arousal and its peak are accompanied by the release of a whole series of pleasure hormones, as well as high electrical activity of the brain. The nature of this state and its function is largely a mystery. Sex in a Scanner Several years ago, scientists led by Barry Komisaruk from Rutgers University in Newark (USA) conducted a unique experiment: they asked five women with lower body paralysis to try self-stimulation.Previously, doctors assured that they would never experience sexual pleasure again. It turned out not to be so. Everyone felt arousal, pain blocking, and three experienced orgasms. Scientists thought that the climax is achieved in a much more complex way than previously thought, and not only through the spinal cord. They set out to help people with sexual dysfunction lead normal lives. In 2011, the same group of researchers showed for the first time video of brain activity during orgasm. The female volunteer was inside a functional MRI – using this installation, you can observe the functioning of the nervous system in real time. Scientists have monitored how the activity of parts of the brain changes when the genitals are stimulated to understand how this leads to orgasm. In our time, researchers have made a clarification: this is just part of a large network leading to orgasm. As the Swiss scientists point out in a large-scale review of the electrophysiology of sexuality, the peak of pleasure is accompanied by unique synchronicity and extensive electrical activity in the brain.Many experiments have shown increased activity of the right hemisphere, which is very difficult to achieve. Orgasm has been compared to painful shock, epileptic seizure and other painful conditions. Adam Safron of Northwestern University thinks this is more like a trance, with arousal accompanied by synchronized movements over time. Music (singing in birds) and dances often help, where rhythm is extremely important. This behavior is a common feature of sex play in the animal kingdom.Safron describes orgasm as rhythmic stimulation that amplifies the nerve “vibrations” at the appropriate frequency. If the rhythm is intense enough, and the process is long, the brain responds synchronously: it focuses attention exclusively on sexual activity, darkening consciousness and putting a person into a trance. Female secret It used to be that during orgasm, the brain or some of its parts are turned off, but scientists from Rutgers have shown that this is not the case. On the contrary, while the arousal builds up, the departments responsible for the sense organs and movement, as well as the frontal lobe of the cortex and brain stem, work.Moreover, they reach their peak of activity during the climax. In a recent experiment, Komisaruk and colleagues recruited twenty female volunteers. Scientists have clearly identified the period of arousal – 20 seconds immediately before orgasm and the first 20 seconds during it. Thus, they found out exactly which parts of the brain are involved in the final stage – the operculum, angular gyrus, precuneus and other areas of the frontal, temporal, parietal and occipital cortex. Specialists are especially interested in the female orgasm, since the fairer sex is able to conceive without it. noted by Aristotle.That is, there is no clear connection with procreation. In a man, a sexual act almost always ends with ejaculation. Women, on the other hand, enjoy the stimulation of the genitals, but at the same time they do not reach a climax every time. The origin of the female orgasm is still a mystery. Although more and more evidence indicates that this is not a byproduct of evolution and not an addition to male satisfaction, but a condition inherited from distant ancestors. The question is, from what. Scientists at Yale and the Cincinnati Children’s Medical Center point out that everyone knows that male animals have an orgasm, but in females this condition has long remained unclear.There are some indications in the works of the famous researcher of sexuality, zoologist Alfred Kinsey: he observed a peak of sexual satisfaction in female ferrets, cats and rabbits. The authors of the work suggest that the surge of prolactin and oxytocin during a female orgasm should have analogues among other placental animals. Perhaps they have a hormonal explosion accompanying ovulation, but in humans it has acquired new functions.

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Switzerland, discoveries – RIA Science, Health, Biology

MOSCOW, September 2 – RIA Novosti, Tatyana Pichugina. Scientists have found that during sexual climax, many parts of the brain, including the deepest, exhibit unique activity.None of them are disabled. Arousal and its peak are accompanied by the release of a whole series of pleasure hormones, as well as high electrical activity of the brain. The nature of this state and its function is largely a mystery.

Sex in a scanner

Several years ago, scientists led by Barry Komisaruk from Rutgers University in Newark (USA) conducted a unique experiment: they asked five women with lower body paralysis to try self-stimulation. Previously, doctors assured that they would never experience sexual pleasure again.It turned out not to be so. Everyone felt arousal, pain blocking, and three experienced orgasms. Scientists thought that the climax is achieved in a much more complex way than previously thought, and not only through the spinal cord. And we set out to help people with sexual dysfunction lead normal lives.

In 2011, the same group of researchers showed the first video of brain activity during orgasm. The female volunteer was inside a functional MRI – using this installation, you can observe the functioning of the nervous system in real time.Scientists have monitored how the activity of parts of the brain changes when the genitals are stimulated to understand how this leads to orgasm.

27 July 2020, 18:00 Science Scientists have figured out which brain cells are responsible for sex and aggression

Dancing with a tambourine

In our time, researchers have made a clarification: this is just part of a large network leading to orgasm. As noted by Swiss scientists in an extensive review of the electrophysiology of sexuality, peak pleasure is accompanied by unique synchronicity and extensive electrical activity in the brain.Many experiments have shown increased activity of the right hemisphere, which is very difficult to achieve. Orgasm has been compared to painful shock, epileptic seizure and other painful conditions. Adam Safron of Northwestern University thinks is more like a trance.

Arousal is accompanied by synchronized movements over time. Music (singing in birds) and dances often help, where rhythm is extremely important. This behavior is a common feature of sex play in the animal kingdom.

Safron describes orgasm as rhythmic stimulation that intensifies nervous “vibrations” at the appropriate frequency. If the rhythm is intense enough, and the process is long, the brain responds synchronously: it focuses attention exclusively on sexual activity, darkening consciousness and putting a person into a trance.

5 January 2020, 08:00 Science Out. What happens to the brain of yogis and shamans

Women’s secret

Previously it was believed that during orgasm, the brain or some of its parts are turned off, but scientists from Rutgers showed that this is not the case.On the contrary, while the arousal builds up, the departments responsible for the sense organs and movement, as well as the frontal lobe of the cortex and brain stem, work. Moreover, they reach their peak of activity during the climax. In a recent experiment, Komisaruk and colleagues recruited twenty female volunteers to . Scientists have clearly identified the period of arousal – 20 seconds immediately before orgasm and the first 20 seconds during it. Thus, they found out exactly which parts of the brain are involved in the final stage – the operculum, angular gyrus, precuneus and other parts of the frontal, temporal, parietal and occipital cortex.

Specialists are especially interested in the female orgasm, since the representative of the weaker sex is able to conceive without it – this was noted by Aristotle. That is, there is no clear connection with procreation. In a man, a sexual act almost always ends with ejaculation. Women, on the other hand, enjoy the stimulation of the genitals, but at the same time they do not reach a climax every time.

The origin of the female orgasm is still a mystery. Although more and more evidence indicates that this is not a byproduct of evolution and not an addition to male satisfaction, but a condition inherited from distant ancestors.The question is, from what.

Scientists at Yale and Cincinnati Children’s Medical Center note : Everyone knows that male animals have an orgasm, but for females this condition has long remained unclear. There are some indications in the works of the famous researcher of sexuality, zoologist Alfred Kinsey: he observed the peak of sexual satisfaction in female ferrets, cats and rabbits.

The authors of the work suggest that the surge of prolactin and oxytocin during a female orgasm should have analogs among other placental animals.Perhaps they have a hormonal explosion accompanying ovulation, but in humans it has acquired new functions.

10 October 2017, 09:19 is the same for both men and women – both of them ask questions that seem to be about unknown creatures from Mars. And these questions are repeated – curiosity is not saturated.

1. Are orgasm and ejaculation the same thing?
No, these are different phenomena. In a man, orgasm, as a rule, begins during ejaculation, so they are identified. But in fact, ejaculation is a material phenomenon: some muscles contract, others relax, the urethra opens, etc. Orgasm, on the other hand, is an emotional, sensory experience that can accompany the physical reactions of the body.
However, a man has both orgasm without ejaculation and ejaculation without orgasm .The first is when taking certain medications, or when having surgery on the prostate or vas deferens, or when certain local nerves are affected. The second ( ejaculation without orgasm ) – in the framework of depression or with weakening of the tone of the prostate.
In addition, some Eastern teachings consider ejaculation an unnecessary and even harmful waste of a man’s biological material and vital energy and suggest techniques for separating orgasm and ejaculation. But this is a completely different topic …

2.Is it possible and necessary for a man to have multiple ejaculations (and orgasms) in a row?
In their youth, many men experience a state of youthful hypersexuality, when immediately after ejaculation, fatigue does not occur, but desire arises again and again. And most importantly, an opportunity arises, that is, an erection sufficient for penetration. But by the age of 30, most men have both the desire and the ability to repeat acts disappear during one meeting. And the assessment of what is happening is changing: the man comes to the conclusion that it is better to do the job once – but fully than to pretend to be a rabbit.
In general, the body itself knows its norm: if it turns out to have one intercourse after another, then this means that there is strength. But as soon as the limit is exhausted, no tricks on the part of the partner or medicinal effects will take effect.
Therefore, you should not unconditionally trust the stories of friends about how they reached orgasm after orgasm, taking a certain pill or having contact with a certain magical woman.

3. How to treat accelerated ejaculation ?
First, the concept of “accelerated” has only a statistical meaning: if ejaculation occurs earlier than a minute after penetration.But it does not mention how aroused the man was before, whether the woman needs him to continue longer than a minute, etc. Therefore, it would be more adequate to assess the speed at which a man reaches orgasm during intercourse by how comfortable it is for both partners.
If, for example, a woman needs 45 minutes to be satisfied, and a man can only 44 – who will turn his tongue to say that he has accelerated ejaculation ? On the other hand, if after 10-15 frictions a man ejaculates, and his wife says, “Well done, and I’m happy,” is it worth talking about acceleration?
In addition, sex is not ONLY about frictions, that is, movements of the penis in the vagina.Sex is a huge variety of communication, affection, coquetry, seduction, relationships of characters and personalities. Therefore, those who do not know how or do not want to solve the couple’s intimate problems in a different way are often talking about accelerated ejaculation.

4. How to extend the act up to an hour, or even better – up to two?
Although many men sincerely believe that this will allow them and their woman to reach some new heights, learn new sensations, etc., in fact there is no such pattern. Moreover, if a woman does not need sex too much or if she reaches orgasm quickly enough, then further continuation of frictions may be completely uninteresting and unnecessary for her.At the same time, even after 5 minutes of frictions a man feels tired, but what will happen after an hour? ..
Sex is not a job to be performed, but pleasure and pleasure. And this pleasure can be achieved in a short time, and it can not be achieved with prolonged restraint. Everything is individual.

5. Why oral sex excites much more than usual – maybe nature is hiding something from us …
Of course, nature has many mysteries, but in this case we are talking about fantasy, and not about what we got from animals ancestors.Vaginal sex can become normal, habitual, non-obsessive over time. In such conditions, any other types of intimate communication will be regarded as more interesting. But oral sex can become boring in the same way – and, perhaps, then vaginal sex will become “strawberry”.
In addition, public opinion has a magic effect on oral sex, creating advertisements for it that cannot be resisted. So both men and women buy into this, although they are often disappointed with the results …

6.What determines the strength of ejaculation and how is orgasm related to this?
Typically, the first portion of sperm is fired with more force, and each next – with less and less. And at the same time, every man knows that even after the erection subsides, after 5-10 minutes a sticky liquid is still secreted from the urethra. So the last portions just flow out. This is fine. The strength of ejaculation depends on two parameters: the state of the prostate and the duration of abstinence. A young, tight, active prostate pushes the ejaculate out with great force, and a flabby one that has undergone inflammation or with age-related changes is much weaker.
In addition, the volume of ejaculate (and therefore the duration of abstinence) stimulates the force of sperm ejection. So with frequent ejaculations, the experience of orgasm gradually decreases, and then the desire to have intercourse. This is how the body gives itself rest.

7. How does circumcision affect the male orgasm?
If circumcision was done BEFORE the onset of sexual activity, then it practically does not affect the excitement of the head and the speed of reaching orgasm. In such cases, some of the men may have an accelerated ejaculation, while others may have it at the usual time – but this does not depend on circumcision in any way.
But if the circumcision was done in a man who already has his sexual experience, then the sensations from the constantly naked head of the penis will initially cause unpleasant feelings, and sometimes pain. But gradually the head will coarsen a little and, perhaps, the time of ejaculation will lengthen. Although this cannot be guaranteed: everyone has their own sensitivity, their own mental excitability – which no less affects the speed of reaching orgasm.

8. Does male orgasm depend on posture?
Not to a large extent.Although when you change the position, the area of ​​contact between the head of the penis and the walls of the vagina also changes – and this can lead to new sensations, acceleration or slowdown of orgasm, etc.
But to a lesser extent, the male orgasm is influenced by a certain inner meaning of the posture. For example, the openness of a woman in a classic pose or peculiarities of a posture from behind, or activity in a cowgirl pose. There is also an individual assessment of poses: for example, the classic – “modest”, excites less than the “depraved” position on all fours, oral sex is a sign of “depravity”, which gives him additional excitement, and the position on his side awakens memories that completely extinguish the very strong excitement … And so on, and these assessments are exclusively individual and practically not subject to discussion.

9. Is it true that prolonged absence of ejaculation is a sure death for potency?
Quite the opposite: ejaculation is a strong natural instinct that depends on the strength of arousal, on the level of sex hormones in the blood. In the absence of sexual activity and masturbation, emissions regularly occur – nocturnal involuntary ejaculation, with which the body itself regulates its condition. But if there is no ejaculation (in any form) for long enough, this means that not enough sperm is produced to trigger the emission mechanism.

10. Is there an orgasm in men at the age of menopause – after all, sex hormones are no longer produced?
Sex hormones are produced throughout life – but after the onset of menopause, their level drops sharply. More intense stimulation and longer intimacy are now required to reach orgasm. But an orgasm is possible for a man of any age.

Prokopenko Yu.P., Candidate of Medical Sciences

90,000 Women experience orgasm half as often as men: the reason surprised

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A

Ladies have no way to focus on sex

Scientists from the University of Toronto have found that women reach the peak of pleasure in bed almost half as often as men.The study was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine and was very surprised by the inhabitants of Canada, who were convinced that sexual freedom allows the fair sex to enjoy sex to the fullest.

In the course of the study, experts conducted a survey among 1,683 heterosexual couples. Men and women had to tell how often they have an orgasm and how often, in their opinion, this happens to the other half. It turned out that 87% of men have regular orgasms, and only 49% of women.At the same time, almost half of the men were mistaken about the orgasm of their ladies. Among women, the percentage of mistakes is much lower – only 14%. The study authors believe that women often fake orgasms to please their partners.

And this is what the sexologist and psychologist Oleg Shevchenko thinks about this :

– Female orgasm is a difficult thing, and to achieve it, most women need to tune in, focus on their sensations, recall the corresponding fantasies, etc.There is not enough a simple physiological stimulus like a man. This is what I consider to be the main reason for the irregularity of female orgasms – if thoughts are busy with various affairs and concerns, the lady is unlikely to be able to achieve it. And a modern woman who works, makes a career on a par with a man, very often cannot get extraneous thoughts out of her head. Another reason is the lack of regular sex. When sexual intercourse occurs at long intervals, the elasticity of the vagina is disturbed in the woman.But an orgasm is a muscle contraction. Therefore, you just need to exercise – there are a lot of muscles in the vagina, they need a regular load, otherwise they will atrophy. Kegel exercises are very effective for this purpose.

90,000 What is mindful sex and how to practice it

Mindfulness is a secular meditation that has taught doctors to treat pain, anxious people to calm down, and entrepreneurs to launch startups. Recently, the whole world started talking about a new direction in this practice – mindful sex.”Afisha Daily” understands what it is and whether mindful sex helps to get new sensations.

Articles about mindful sex regularly appear in many foreign publications, the topic is gaining momentum, and the recording of the performance of sex coach Diana Richardson The Power of Mindful Sex at Ted Talks has collected about 450 thousand views. True, a suitable term has not yet appeared in the Russian language.

“Don’t have sex, be it”, – a charming mature woman broadcasts from the stage to the applause of the audience. I noticed that Russians react ambiguously to the phrase “deliberate sex”. The girls purse their lips and complain that it would be good to deal with ordinary sex for a start, and not complicate the life of the conscious ones, men roll their eyes, suspecting that, if they give them some slack and show the beginnings of curiosity, they will be immediately attacked by another coach-squirtologist, so that explain how they are doing everything wrong.It may seem that the topic is drawn by New Age and other singing bowls, but in reality it is completely different.

Afisha Daily asked a psychotherapist and clinical psychologist to explain how to move to a new level of sexual awareness, and learned from people who practice mindfulness in bed what is special about their sex.

What is mindful sex?

Amina Nazaralieva

Psychotherapist, sexologist

Mindful sex is a combination of what has been around for quite some time. This is about the practice of mindfulness, focusing on the here and now, but during close contact . This is probably something close to the concept of tantra, familiar to many. In general, any good sex should be mindfull. If you are tense and inattentive during sex, then at least some of the participants will not be able to experience pleasure.

People are sometimes anxious during sex. For example, they think about an erection or are worried if they can cope; worried about how their partner or partner will evaluate them.During sex, some women often think about their own bodies and how they look, especially if they consider their figure not attractive enough. These kinds of thoughts and worries can greatly interfere with the build-up of arousal. It is important to understand that when you are worried that bad things may happen, then you are, as it were, in the future with your head. When you chew and analyze something bad that has already happened, thoughts fly in the past.

The meaning of awareness is to be completely here and now without judgment.You need to focus as much as possible on the touch, kissing and feelings that are happening at the moment.

Svetlana Bronnikova

Clinical psychologist, psychotherapist

Mindfulness came to psychotherapy around the late 1960s – early 1970s in the United States – just after the end of the hippie era, which generated a lot of interest in Buddhist practices. In the wake of this interest, a large number of psychotherapists rushed to study these practices, in particular, meditation.There is a wonderful American psychotherapist John Kabat-Zinn, who studied real Buddhist meditation for many years, then returned to the States and began to introduce it directly into psychotherapy and counseling. Therefore, the very idea of ​​awareness, mindfulness, is not new, only an increased interest in it is new.

A [new] wave of interest has arisen among young people who work in the IT field, because they are constantly looking for certain effective methods, methods, psychotechnologies that help them become more successful.

There have been many attempts to apply mindfulness in a wide variety of areas, from teaching pain management for cancer patients who cannot be given an overdose of pain medication, to office workers for whom mindfulness has been a source of stress reduction, concentration, and life satisfaction. In Holland, for example, mindfulness is taught even in the men’s prison .

Topic details

Hack your brain and start living: why we should all try mindfulness

Hack your brain and start living: why we should all try mindfulness

What do we usually do wrong?

Svetlana Bronnikova

The question often arises: “How else can you have sex if not consciously? Is someone doing otherwise? ” But we have lived to the point where we have to come up with the term “mindful sex” and explain to people how to stay inside their bodies and listen to bodily sensations during sexual intercourse.This was influenced by modern culture, which is focused mainly on two things: the achievements and the appearance of the .

And we, of course, lose any awareness, because the main difference between awareness and any other action is that it is about the process, not the result.

If a person enters into sexual relations, being concerned about how he looks and what his partner will think of him, how he will assess his result, then we will imagine a classic modern neurotic who cannot relax even in bed .Today, people around the age of 30–35 begin to have less and less sex, that is, it ceases to be regular, even if we are not talking about married people, but about those who lead an active dating life.

How to practice mindful sex?

Svetlana Bronnikova

What happens when I am not in my body and deny its needs? In fact, this is violence against him. If you want to practice mindful sex, there must be complete emptiness and silence in your head – unfortunately, this is something we can almost never achieve. We are constantly thinking . In Buddhist practice, this is called the “talkative mind” and even the “monkey mind” is a consciousness that jumps from object to object.

One has to learn to treat sex with childish curiosity. In mindfulness practices, this is called the “beginner’s mind.”

We all know that kids sometimes do crazy and dangerous things because they just want to try. They try fearlessly to see what happens.This is how children learn about the world around them. Roughly the same should be done by a person who wants to practice mindful sex.

Amina Nazaralieva

It would seem that there is nothing complicated: if you notice that you are again being carried away to the future or the past, you, without scolding yourself, gently return to the present. But if it were so easy – just take it and stop worrying, abstracting away – everyone would do it .

Stopping this protein in the wheel called “brain” is very difficult.Especially if you had a negative experience that turned out to be very significant. For example, men who are worried about an erection often have a rather childish idea [about sex]: they think that an erection should always be under any circumstances with any partner. If she disappeared once, then it is a disaster. And at this moment a man has no time for sex at all – thoughts swarm in his head that he is a loser, impotent, no woman will love him.

If in cognitive-behavioral therapy we work with thoughts, testing them for accuracy, challenging, transforming, then in mainfulness the approach is different: why waste time and energy on cognitive work if we are not our thoughts? It is much wiser to learn to accept that different radio stations are playing in your head , including those in which fake news and dull decadent programs, music that you do not like or even infuriate.It is important to learn to notice and non-judgmentally accept what is happening, to treat thoughts like clouds and rain. It is difficult, but absolutely everyone can learn it.

You need to try to observe your movements, your body, smells or sounds during sex.

Viktor Shiryaev

Mindfulness Trainer and Mindfulness Instructor

Everyone seems to understand that you need to “just stop thinking and enjoy”, but how to do it? The more you try, the stronger the stress – nothing happens! The secret is simple: you don’t have to desperately try to turn off your head, you just need to understand how attention mechanisms work.In the practice of meditation and exercises for the development of awareness, just we train again and again to return attention to the chosen object for observation and to dis-identify with those emotions that capture us. The liberated attention can be directed wherever we want it.

There is a wonderful book, not so long ago translated into Russian, “As a Woman Wants” by Emily Nagoski. It tells exactly how the processes associated with sex are structured differently in the head of different sexes.In particular, for men, the very fact of desire and arousal is more important, and the context, where and how everything happens, is in second or even tenth place. For a woman, on the contrary, all this is of paramount importance. And when some of the elements of the context do not coincide with expectations, it is impossible to tune in to the process itself and get pleasure from it, and indeed often even start it.

Topic details

Nowhere closer: what is demisexuality

Nowhere closer: what is demisexuality

Can mindful sex be dangerous?

Amina Nazaralieva

Although mindfulness has been practiced widely and for quite a long time, there is very little data on unwanted effects.In one recent study, they were found in 25% of participants. Fortunately, these unwanted effects went away on their own and rather quickly. They most often occurred if a person practiced alone meditation for more than 20 minutes. By the way, researchers say that mindfulness practice in a group works better than an individual one. And yet, it is still difficult to put some final point on the harm and benefits of this practice – there is not enough research.

What do people who practice mindful sex say?

Irina Pasadskaya

Pilates Trainer

It all started with the fact that during the first ever session of yoni massage (a type of erotic massage for women, including stimulation of the vulva and work with emotions; one of the methods of yoni massage is “conscious masturbation”.- Approx. ed. ) I experienced an amazing special effect. Let’s call it “buzzing hands”. Instead of orgasm, I felt a strong vibration from fingertips to shoulders, like my hands have epilepsy, but internal, inconspicuous from the outside. Then I was sure that if I stretch out my hand and want to put a laser out of my palm, like Iron Man, I will demolish at least the wall of the room.

A year and a half later, this special effect was repeated – during the first sex with a man, in which I was intuitively confident literally after five minutes of communication, as soon as he took my hand.

For the first time in my life, the first sex was great. I completely immersed myself in the process and completely turned off my head, not listening to anything that could make noise in it out of habit.

Head noise, by the way, is generally the main buzz in sex and in life. One has only to get carried away with a short thought about what is wrong (ingrown hairs in the groin, cellulite, folds on the abdomen and everything that worries a modern woman raised on gloss and chia seeds), and that’s it – no orgasm, no squirt, no electricity in veins.

In short, had to drown out the thought process and completely switch to physics – and voila – the familiar buzzing effect. My lover said that he literally felt he was “in a vibrating object.” An interesting metaphor. I’ve never used vibrators, and he seems to know now how girls feel!

Sex is pain. You watch porn, and there everyone is so skillful, tanned and hyperactive. And then it turns out that life is not so. For two years [my partner and I] wanted the same thing in sex, but could not speak, because it was supposedly indecent.

It’s funny, but the decision to go into an open relationship (which is already closed) became for us a catalyst for liberated communication, the articulation of our desires. And the conversation itself became less strained – concern appeared in it, the fear of “saying something wrong” decreased. Going to a swing club, watching extravagant porn together, visiting a sex shop like a corner store, living new practices – all these actions unleashed our language, helped us to know our bodies. We began to listen to each other.And fleeting romantic attachments on the side reminded us of the importance of slowing down in sex, and in life .

Without sensuality, all this awareness can become an ideal technique for performing with an orgasm, but without a soul.

The most important thing in sex is to learn to say and perceive “no” . Also, do not be offended by the lack of desire from a partner. Sacralizing not a practice, but a partner. It is also important to speak out past experience without perceiving it as competition.Sensitive discussion of jealousy, acceptance of any emotions (even tantrums after sex) helped to make sex much more relaxed than before.

We generally began to talk more with people about sex, including with friends, when we began to practice open relationships. It turned out that the world is much larger than we could imagine. And after talking with each other, it turned out that all our kinks completely coincide. At first, like children in a pastry shop, we began to grab and try everything, but in the process we realized what exactly we like and what we don’t.

It was important for me to learn to refuse – I used to have sex from time to time out of courtesy . Then I learned to take the initiative.

Now we are back to monogamy, but with all this knowledge and skills: take your time, listen to each other and not be afraid to speak and offer something new.

This is now a collaborative search. Sometimes inspiration comes from the movies, sometimes from some phrase said by a partner, sometimes just a glance falls on a bouquet of flowers, for example, and he flies into the process. This is the same creativity as any other, – for the result you need the main ingredients, some seasonings and a little magic.

Topic details

How and why to talk about sex with a partner

How and why to talk about sex with a partner

Bonus: Five Proven Ways To Learn Mindful Sex

Elena Onna

Posted by The Yoni Empire, sex blogger and slow sex promoter

Deal with your sex

It is important to find out once and for all what sex is for you.Why are you making love, only honestly? What does this give you and your partner? Maybe your sex is a stress reliever, a duty, a way of communication, pleasure, an escape from boredom? Do your needs and what you get at the end match?

Being completely naked alone with another person is one of the most exciting experiences in our life . Therefore, there is no way without honest, open communication: communication is the key to a truly fulfilling intimate life.Remember: no one can read your mind! Don’t waste your time waiting for your partner to miraculously figure out what and how you like in bed. Show, tell, explain on your fingers what turns you on – and don’t forget about a healthy sense of humor. Encourage your partner who has decided to understand the nuances of your sensuality. Explore together like a fun game. Respect your partner’s desires and secret passions, even the kinki. Support any manifestation of each other’s eroticism.

Look at foreplay as a way of life

Prelude is not at all 15–35 minutes of tenderness preceding penetration, as is commonly believed. Correct foreplay is all the time that fills the gap between sex and sex . If you want to maintain erotic tension between you and your partner, do not turn off the mode of flirting, sensuality, playfulness for a minute. What happens outside the bedroom directly affects what ultimately happens in it.

Get intimate with yourself

We often forget that the most important sexual relations in life are with us. If you do not know what gives pleasure to you, how will a person who is under the same blanket with you guess? Someone’s uniqueness in bed directly depends on how deeply this person has learned the nature of his eroticism and made friends with his own body.

Mind-blowing sex is 10% of technique and 90% of self-awareness . The secret of sex, which can turn your mind around, is to first learn how to deal with it with yourself. So don’t think that masturbation is for teenagers and singles. This is an important practice to devote enough time to, regardless of the age or status of your relationship. And do not forget to support your partner in this!

Do not set yourself the goal of reaching orgasm.

People are obsessed with orgasm.All these “faster, deeper, stronger” in bed are aimed at one thing – to climb to the top as soon as possible. The paradox is that the more aggressively you move in bed, the less awareness you have in your actions. “Achievement” in sex is absolutely contrary to pleasure. It only leads to stress: show yourself your best, prove that you are hotter and more enduring than some pornographic actors, and get to the denouement as soon as possible. If something goes wrong in this process – everything ends in frustration.Here the most important detail is overlooked: even the lightest wave of pleasure is the orgasmic experience . It is worth concentrating on these waves: learning to notice and catch them. Focus on what your body is going through right now, rather than guessing when the long-awaited finale with fireworks will happen. Trust your body – it will come close to the denouement itself when it is really ready for it.

Take care of the body

When your body is unhappy, when oxygen does not sufficiently saturate the blood, and muscles suffer from clamps, it does not have time for orgasms.To increase your “orgasm”, you need to take good care of your physical shell: listen to the needs of the body, help the body get rid of everything that fetters it – yoga, Pilates, stretching, dancing, sauna, massages, walks and just strong hugs will come in handy. … The more attention and care the body receives, the more awareness in your relationship with it, the more it opens , including towards stunning pleasure.

90,000 Scientists have figured out how a woman can provide herself with an orgasm

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For this it is proposed to resort to masturbation during intercourse

Women who masturbate during sex with a man are significantly more likely to have an orgasm than those who do not resort to additional stimulation during intercourse.This conclusion was reached by American experts representing Emory University, Indiana University and Pennsylvania State University.

In the course of the study, scientists interviewed more than three thousand people, including 1569 men and 1478 women. Participants were asked how often they have orgasms during sexual intercourse and how satisfied they are with their sex life in general, and were asked to provide some details regarding sexual intercourse with their participation. First of all, experts were interested in how often women resorted to self-gratification during sex with a partner and how strongly this influenced the feelings they experienced.

As it turned out, “vaginal intercourse with additional clitoral stimulation” most often allowed women to experience orgasm. At the same time, experts draw attention to the fact that in the course of other studies on the topic of female orgasm, scientists often do not specify whether additional stimulation is included in the concept of “vaginal intercourse”, which is why different women could perceive the issue differently, which influenced objectivity of the results obtained. Thus, the new work, according to its authors, allows you to get a more accurate idea of ​​what conditions are necessary for many women in order to get satisfaction from their intimate life.

The study was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Recently, another group of specialists came to the conclusion that women most often resort to masturbation precisely in order to “complement” sexual intercourse, while men perceive it more as a measure that can be resorted to in the absence of a sexual partner.

90,000 Jet orgasm: what is it and how to achieve it

What is jet orgasm?

Squirting orgasm (squirting, from English squirting) is a female type of orgasm, which is accompanied by the release of fluid from the urethra.Moreover, moisture is not just released, but beats with a real stream – just like with ejaculation in men.

This liquid is called squirt , or female ejaculate .

What kind of liquid is released when squirting?

During jet orgasm up to 3 teaspoons of squirt is released – colorless moisture with a natural bodily odor.

It is assumed that squirt is a cocktail of urea, creatinine and secretions produced by Skene’s glands – they are located at the lower end of the urethra and are the female analogue of the prostate.

But disputes about the composition of the liquid are still ongoing. For example, the authors of one small study claim that squirt is just urine. However, their conclusions are based on the study of jet orgasm in only seven participants, and sex therapists still have questions about the results.

Can all women have a jet orgasm?

Not fact. Research on squirting has been conflicting. On the one hand, the physiology of women is designed in such a way that, in theory, they are able to achieve a jet orgasm.But in practice, this is not available to everyone.

According to preliminary estimates, only 10–54% of women can experience jet orgasm in .

Whether you are one of the lucky ones, you can only find out by trying to induce squirting.

How to induce a jet orgasm?

To increase the chances of success, girls need to follow several important rules.

1. Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles

In simple words, do Kegel exercises.The simplest of them looks like this: imagine that you really want to use the toilet, and squeeze your muscles, as if you want to control urination. Maintain this state for 5-7 seconds, relax, repeat 10-12 times.

By itself, this exercise is very beneficial for women’s health, as it increases the tone of the vaginal walls and reduces the risk of prolapse of the genitals (for example, prolapse of the uterus). In addition, trained pelvic floor muscles are the key to bright, sensitive orgasms , including jet orgasms.

2. Before squirting, go to the toilet

The sensations of squirting are very close to those that a woman experiences when urging to urinate. Making sure your bladder is empty will relieve you of the “What if I’m just peeing” anxiety and will allow you to relax.

3. Lay a couple of towels or a waterproof blanket on the bed

So you don’t have to worry about the laundry you might throw in.

4. Find the G-spot

It is the stimulation of the G-area that provides the necessary massage for the Skene’s gland and can ultimately lead to an impressive jet orgasm.

Gently insert your fingers or a sex toy such as a vibrator into your vagina. Start with gentle movements to maximize relaxation and sensation. Then massage the area on the front wall of the vagina to feel the so-called G-spot. Typically, it is located at a depth of 2-3 centimeters from the entrance. When you find an area that you feel most vividly touched, begin to gently press down on it. It is the pressing that activates the Skene’s glands, in which the female secret is formed.

Take your time: the first time it can take a long time to stimulate. Some sex therapists say at least 20-30 minutes.

When just a little bit is left before the jet orgasm, you will feel the urge to urinate. Remember that this is most likely a deceiving sensation: your bladder is empty. So relax, try to unclench your pelvic floor muscles. When you succeed, squirting will happen.

What will be the first jet orgasm?

Hardly too wet.For the first time, the liquid will not splash out in a stream: most likely, the amount of squirt will be insignificant.

But if you continue to practice jet orgasm on a regular basis, the volume of the secret may increase (but not a fact: scientific research on squirting is still too small to state anything categorically). If you’re lucky, one day the female ejaculate will actually turn into a jet.

By the way, if for the first time stimulation with hands or a vibrator is necessary, then in the future it will be possible to achieve a jet orgasm during vaginal sex.Only the posture needs to be chosen such that the penis presses on the G-spot (for example, the reverse rider).

Can a jet orgasm be achieved without a partner?

Yes, it is quite possible to squirt alone.

True, it can be inconvenient for a girl to reach the G-spot with her own fingers. Therefore, pay attention to special vibrators for masturbation – with a curved head.

The G-spot stimulator is inserted into the vagina, turning so that the tip massages the anterior wall.Then they turn on the vibration. You need to start with slow modes. Move the head of the device up and down, slightly dipping and removing it. In this case, you can press on the desired area – the excitement will increase.

Gradually change the operating mode of the vibrator, increasing the speed and pressure. This will increase the excitement. If you do everything right, you will soon have a desire to urinate, and then a bright orgasm.

Having learned to get a jet orgasm alone, you can easily achieve it with a partner.

What to buy

What if you can’t experience squirting?

The process of finding and stimulating the G-spot is very enjoyable in itself. So just enjoy what is happening and don’t expect immediate results from your body.