How To Cum Faster, For Women: 21 Techniques To Try

1.

Get into the right mindset

As counterintuitive as it might sound, the first step to having an orgasm is trying to not think too hard about having one.

If you put an inordinate amount of pressure on yourself to come, you won’t be able to access the relaxed frame of mind that is often necessary to send you over the edge.

Advertisement

This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.

2.

Get to know your body

When trying to figure out how to orgasm, sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW, recommends that you get to know your body well: “I recommend that you first become familiar with your body and what brings you pleasure outside of sex,” she says. “Have you ever looked at your vulva? Get a mirror and look at it. Do this often. Touch it and pay attention to the different textures and temperatures you feel as you apply different types of pressure. Figure out what’s erotic to you. Do you know how your body responds when you’re sexually turned on?”

Use this knowledge as a base to build on once you begin to masturbate.

3.

Experiment with different types of touch

Try a wide variety of ways of stimulating your clitoris to see what works for you. Some ideas:

• Use circular motions with the pads of your fingers with varying pressures (i.e., start extremely lightly so that you’re barely brushing over yourself and slowly increase the pressure until you find what feels best).
• Try tapping or flicking motions.
• Curl your fingers toward your body and use the flat of your knuckles to nudge up against your clitoris.
• Lie on your stomach with your hand or a vibrator under your clit and grind into it.

Advertisement

This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.

When in doubt, remember to alternate the two Ps: pressure and position.

4.

Engage your whole body

Having an orgasm can be a full-body experience, so getting to that point should also be one too. Don’t focus entirely on your clit.

Play with your nipples, stroke or pull your hair, touch your inner thighs and your ass. Run your fingers over your neck and shoulders.

Basically, imagine the kinds of touch that a lover would do for you and recreate them yourself. You could even use nipple clamps or a butt plug to ramp up the sensations.

AASECT-certified sex therapist Madeline Cooper, LCSW, says, “I tell my clients to think of what arouses them using their five senses—do you feel aroused watching or reading erotica? Do you like fantasies? Are there certain smells that are erotic, like candles or oils? Do you like listening to moaning or other kinds of noises?”

Advertisement

This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.

5.

Don’t be afraid of sex toys

Vibrators are an orgasm’s best friend. Many people swear by wand-style vibrators for guaranteed orgasms.

They provide a deep and intense rumbling sensation, which can be overwhelming at first. A top tip is to try it over your underwear first and then build up to using it against your body.

Many people also swear by air-pressure sex toys, which use air to stimulate the clitoris and can be a good alternative if direct vibrations are off-putting for you.

You could also use a dildo inside of yourself while you touch your clit for a double hit of orgasm-inducing bliss.

6.

Lube, lube, and more lube

Lube is one of the most underrated additions to masturbation. Even if you have no problems getting and staying wet, lube can still feel amazing and intensify sensations.

Don’t be ashamed to reach for it when you’re playing solo. Reducing the amount of irritating friction while you masturbate can make you more comfortable in general and therefore more relaxed and therefore—you guessed it—more likely to reach orgasm.

Try one of these 17 all-natural lubes.

Advertisement

This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features.

7.

Multimedia, baby!

Listen to an erotic podcast, audiobook, or songs to get you in the mood before or during your masturbation session.

Watch porn or look at images you find arousing. Hell, you can even write your own erotica! (If you’re stuck, try to recreate a particularly hot previous sexual encounter or fantasy in words.)

8.

Take your time

Sometimes having an orgasm is a marathon and not a sprint. Lock your door, pull down the blinds, and put your phone on airplane mode so you have specific time put aside for your self-love.

Don’t try to quickly rub one out before work or going to meet your friends for lunch. You need to give yourself space to not feel stressed or under pressure.

9.

Practice mindful breathing

Use the power of the breath to aid your masturbation sessions and get in touch with your body.

“I encourage women to practice mindful masturbation, where they are focused on their breath as well as the physical pleasure they are experiencing during their touching,” says Cooper.

By focusing on deep, mindful breaths, you can access a deeper state of relaxation, which can facilitate an easier path to orgasm.

In tantric sex practices, breathing is also used as a tool to make your orgasm last longer and even to have multiple orgasms because it can help distribute orgasmic feelings through the body instead of moving toward a big “release” of the energy.

Once you’re a pro, you can use these tips on how to make your orgasms even stronger.

RELATED: 11 Steps To Make A Woman Orgasm (The Basics & Beyond)

1.

Communication is key

To have orgasms during sex, your partner needs to know what works for you—which means that, yes, you’ll have to tell them directly what to do. Don’t assume they’ll just magically hit the right buttons for you!

Once you know what you like through coming by yourself, bring that information to your partner.

It can be helpful to frame things in a positive manner; for example, you can say, “I really enjoy it when you XYZ. Could you spend longer on it next time we have sex?” instead of “You always stop doing XYZ too soon when we have sex.”

Stand in front of the mirror and practice telling your partner what you like and how you want it.

If you find it intimidating to be demanding and clear about your desires, then repeating it to yourself will help the words flow more easily out of you when it’s time to talk to your partner.

2.

Show and tell

To go along with the verbal communication, you should practice showing your partner precisely how you want them to touch you by using your own hands.

Sari Cooper, LCSW, AASECT-certified sex therapist and director of the Center for Love and Sex in NYC, suggests lying down in front of them and demonstrating how you touch yourself so they can get an idea of what gets you aroused.

You can explain what you’re doing as you go along. This is not only instructional but can be super hot as well.

“Showing a partner what feels good can be super sexy for you and them,” she says. “Take their hand under yours so they can begin to feel the pace, the choreography, and the pressure that feels delicious.”

3.

De-center penetration

As mentioned previously, most women cannot come from penetration alone. “Over 80% of people with vulvas need direct clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, and it can happen with or without vaginal penetration,” Howard says. “While penetrative sex can add to a woman’s arousal, paying attention to the clitoris is the way to a woman’s orgasm.”

Try having sex in which your partner doesn’t penetrate you at all and focus on oral, clitoral, and nipple stimulation and massage so you’re extremely relaxed.

4.

Ditch the sexual scripts

Sometimes variety and surprises can be sexy and can lead you up the orgasm path. Instead of following the expected route of kissing to oral to intercourse, try shaking it up entirely.

You can also play with where you have sex: If you’re used to always doing it in the bedroom, then try doing it in the living room or in the garden.

5.

Don’t fake it, and come clean

Do not any under circumstances be tempted to fake an orgasm in order to soothe your partner’s ego. This does both you and your partner a disservice.

They won’t know how to really please you, and you won’t…be pleased. It may feel easier in the short term, but by denying your partner the information you need to get off, you’re eroding the trust that is meant to exist between you.

Be honest and direct about what you need. Use masturbation as the opportunity to discover what kind of touch, pressure, speed, etc., you require, and then give your partner this know-how.

If you have been faking it in the past and need to tell your partner, then it can be useful to have the conversation when you’re not actually in bed, i.e., when you’re just on the couch watching TV or something, so your partner isn’t in a current state of naked vulnerability when they receive the information.

6.

Your orgasm, your responsibility

“When having partnered sex, it’s important to know that your orgasm is your responsibility,” says Howard. “However, being able to communicate your needs to your partner can help them commit to your pleasure. And if they’re not willing to learn about you, from you, it’s time to let that partner go!”

View your orgasm not as something your partner can give you but as something you both need to work together to achieve.

7.

Use sex toys

They’re not just for masturbation! “Due to the various positioning of partnered sex, it can be more difficult to achieve much-needed direct clitoral stimulation,” Howard says.

She suggests that bringing vibrators into partnered sex can be a great way to make sure you’re getting off. Involve your partner in picking out a toy that feels good for both of you.

For instance, a vibrating cock ring can be something that gives pleasure for both parties as the vibrations will hit your clitoris when they penetrate you.  

8.

Say goodbye to shame

Most importantly when it comes to receiving the pleasure necessary to orgasm: “Take the judgment and body shame thoughts and put them aside and replace them with feelings of worthiness, patience, and entitlement to pleasure,” Sari Cooper says.

An orgasm is something you are worthy of, not something to feel ashamed of or guilty for pursuing.

Advocating for yourself and your needs and desires is a source of power.

RELATED: 24 Types Of Orgasms & How To Try Each One

Despite what pretty much every heterosexual sex scene on-screen has led us to believe, the vast majority of women require much more than a few thrusts of penis-in-vagina intercourse to be able to reach orgasm.

Namely, the key to getting off for most women is the holy grail of clitoral stimulation.

According to groundbreaking research done by Shere Hite in 1976, in which she gathered data from over 3,000 American women about their sex lives, only around one-third of women are able to have an orgasm from penetration alone.

Studies done since then have returned similar results1. The data is clear: Clitoral stimulation cannot be sidelined2.

However, researchers point to something called the “orgasm gap” as evidence that women are not getting their needs met. The orgasm gap refers to the phenomenon whereby men achieve orgasm during sex at much more frequent rates than women. Or to be clear, heterosexual women achieve orgasm much less often than their male counterparts.

A 2018 study3 of U.S. adults found that 95% of heterosexual men said that they usually or always reached orgasm during sex, compared to just 65% of heterosexual women.

Lesbian women on the other hand said that they orgasmed a solid 86% of the time. Clearly, the problem here is not inherent to women but rather to the men having sex with them and the focus on their pleasure alone.

A 2005 study4 found an even starker contrast between the rates of orgasm, with 91% of men reporting an orgasm usually or always compared to a paltry 39% of women.

As the orgasm gap between lesbian and heterosexual women demonstrates, there is no physiological reason women should orgasm at deeply and consistently lower rates than men.

The secret to achieving orgasm isn’t tied up in biology. Rather it lies in the sociocultural and interpersonal realms.

In order to come, most women need to feel relaxed, safe, and free from anxiety or shame—all conditions that can sometimes be a tall order in a patriarchal sexual context that attempts to coerce and control women’s sexuality.

That said, taking control of our orgasms as women can be incredibly empowering. We deserve pleasure too.

Above, we highlighted detailed instructions on how to cum for people with vaginas, whether alone or with a partner. Have fun!

RELATED: 9 Health Benefits Of Orgasms

I Took An Orgasm Class And Here Are The Best Tips I Learned

Let me explain how I landed on a website about vulvas and edging while sandwiched between two passengers on a Virgin America flight.

It wasn’t porn or spam but rather OMGYes.com, a research-based sex ed site that—I soon learned—doesn’t blush about vaginas. Committed to demystifying the science of female sexual pleasure, OMGYes has been lauded by users including Emma Watson as a direct path to better orgasms, whether solo or with a partner. (Check out how your vagina changes in your 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s.)

For $29, you can currently access its first “season”—essentially an online course you take at your own pace, with 12 modules on topics from “accenting” to “orbiting.” Excited to find out exactly what that meant, I signed onto the site as soon as I received my login, which happened to be while I was on the airport runway, a few minutes before takeoff. I didn’t realize just how NSFW it would be. (I decided to close my browser and revisit the site in a more private setting later.)

The site has poured more than $4.5 million into the research behind its candid instructional videos, which feature real, au natural women demonstrating manual stimulation techniques, spread eagle, with cameras pointed at their lady bits. Each module pairs videos like these with written instructions and culminates with a hands-on simulation opportunity—literally, you caress an on-screen vulva (either on your phone screen or with a computer mouse), which responds with raspy moans and live feedback.

MORE: 6 Things That Happen To Your Body When You Have An Orgasm

Yet OMGYes feels surprisingly unpornographic. Divulging stories about their most memorable sexual encounters, the women featured on OMGYes give voice to preferences and frustrations that feel comfortingly familiar. And while there’s something of a “hear, hear, sister” effect, the site’s wisdom best serves anyone who comes into regular contact with vaginas—including men. A lot of couples choose to watch the videos together, says OMGYes co-founder Rob Perkins. “Many say it gives them words for the kinds of touch they like,” he says. “And it can be helpful to have something to point at with a partner and say, ‘Let’s try that!’ or ‘I agree with her—that is really frustrating!'” (This woman tried a couples vibrator with her husband and the results were fantastic. )

The major takeaway is that remaining open to discovery, both on your own and during sex, can make climaxing even more erotic. “No one ever says they already know everything about cooking or dancing or sports,” says Perkins—and yet once people have pulled a condom over a banana, they tend to think their sexual education is complete. Of course, even if you have achieved euphoria with one partner, different strokes work for different folks. That’s where OMGYes has your back: There are many roads to O-town, so the site aims to prep you for the journey with a varied repertoire and the good sense to ask for directions.

Read on for our favorite OMGYes tips, including some classic pleasers and others that are delightfully unexpected.

Yes, we’ve vetted them all. For science.

1. Keep nerves guessing during buildup.

Apparently, there are three distinct—though sometimes overlapping—stages of arousal, which you’ll learn in a module titled “Consistency. ” The first: buildup, those initial strokes that wake up your nerve endings. According to OMGYes.com, 76% of women enjoy variety at this point because it builds anticipation. Remember that Friends scene where Monica diagrams a vagina and numbers seven erogenous zones to demonstrate how to get to O? It went something like this: “You could start out with a little one, a two, a one-two-three, a three, five…” Yeah, do that.

MORE: 10 Little Things Connected Couples Do

2. Next, switch to repetition.

Sounds contradictory, but let’s remember how Monica’s demonstration culminated: “…Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven!” That’s because when you’ve reached phase two of arousal—which is called the approach and begins when you start to feel an orgasm within reach—you’re already warmed up, you’ve identified what’s working, and even the slightest variation can be distracting.

Strengthen your pelvic floor for a better orgasm with Pilates:

​

​

3.

If you’re sensitive, try layering.

For many women, the clit is where the magic happens. But even if you’re in that camp, you might find direct contact to be too intense. According to OMGYes, two out of three women get more pleasure from stimulating the clit through the skin nearby, whether that’s the hood or the lips. Add a layer of fabric for an even mellower touch. (Panties work.) Or test out a “clit sandwich,” which is when you pinch your clitoris between your outer lips for some indirect stimulation. (For even more intense stimulation, try the Satisfyer Pro Penguin from the Prevention shop.)

4. It’s all about circles—kind of.

Hot spots change during arousal. The area that’s most sensitive one minute might seem to relocate the next. That’s why moving your fingers in a circular pattern, which stimulates a large area surrounding the clit, works well. Don’t get hung up on geometry, though. Most clits aren’t best approached head on but rather from the right, from the top, through the hood, etc. (Try these 5 sex positions to help you orgasm.) To figure out what your ideal circle looks like, try “orbiting”—changing up your circular paths—as well as “accenting,” placing increased pressure during certain parts of that path. 

5. Try the double circle.

Here’s an acrobatic technique from Diana, a real woman who stars in some of OMGYes’s demonstration videos: Stimulate the clit in a circular motion using one hand. Then reach your other hand under your behind and through your legs to stimulate the opening of the vagina in a slower circular pattern. It’s not dissimilar to patting your head while rubbing your tummy but way more worth it.

MORE: 11 Sex Toys That Will Bust You Out Of A Dry Spell

6. Help yourself to seconds.

Most women can have multiple orgasms, but what does the trick the first time around might not feel good immediately following climax. Fifty percent of women who experience multiple orgasms instead swear by returning to what felt good at the very beginning of foreplay.

7. Edging is a thing.

It means bringing yourself or a partner to the cusp of orgasm and then intentionally backing off, either by fully halting stimulation or by switching to softer, less direct touching. It sounds a little frustrating but can lead to a more intense orgasm once you finally get there.

MORE: 5 Gynos Share The Sex Tips That Have Changed Their Patients’ Lives

8. Keep feedback positive.

You’re the foremost expert on what gets you off, so, by all means, lend your expertise. But keep in mind that it can feel harsh to get schooled while trying to please a partner. Instead of saying, “No, that’s not right,” try guiding their hand sensually with yours. Or demonstrate how you like to be touched, then say, “Why don’t you take over?” or ask them to repeat that thing they just did because it felt amazing.

9. The O is not the end.

When you’re with a partner, sometimes the way you frame the idea of sex—with a beginning, middle, and end—directly affects how much you enjoy it. If too much hinges on the big O, it might be harder to achieve or less fulfilling once it arrives. Try this experiment: Think of the entire experience of intimacy as fluid, not necessarily building toward climax, or toward anything at all. You might work backward, introduce a technique like edging, or continue fooling around post-orgasm. Multiple women featured on OMGYes who have had difficulties reaching climax said that once they stopped thinking of orgasm as a goal post and began savoring foreplay for foreplay’s sake, they had OMG YES moments they weren’t expecting.  

Romy Oltuski

Romy Oltuski is a writer and editor based in New York. Her work appears in The New York Times, Forbes, Harper’s Bazaar, InStyle, and The Cut.

Myths and truth about the female orgasm: how to get maximum pleasure, 74.

RU was told by a sexologist August 8, 2020 – August 9, 2020

This weekend, women have a great reason to celebrate Share

The beginning of August is International Women’s Orgasm Day. True, the dates are called different – some celebrate the holiday on the 8th, others prefer the 9th. And such discrepancies are somewhat symbolic – after all, orgasms are elusive, like the holiday itself. According to legend, the idea of ​​celebrating belongs to the mayor of a Brazilian town – he came up with Orgasm Day as a token of apology to his wife for the missed pleasure. By the holiday date, 74.RU decided to have a frank conversation with a sexologist in order to destroy existing myths and reveal the secrets of pleasure.

– This is a myth. Any orgasm, including clitoral ones, says sexologist Valeria Shevchenko. – Types of orgasm are divided depending on the stimulation of which zone leads to an orgasm. Orgasm can come from external stimulation (that is, the upper part of the clitoris is stimulated), from internal stimulation (the inner part of the clitoris is stimulated), and there is even an orgasm experienced during meditation. All intimate muscles and genitals are also involved in the process of orgasm. Therefore, calling an orgasm only vaginal, when discharge occurs only in the vagina, or clitoral, when discharge occurs only in the clitoris, is not entirely correct. And the clitoris is not only the visible upper part, not only the head. It is large, and its legs are attached inside to the hips, to the pelvis.

Valeria runs marathons for women, where she helps to deal with her sexuality

Photo: Ilya Barkhatov

Share

“This is also a myth,” says Valeria Shevchenko confidently. – Masturbation is included in the mandatory activities for the development of sexuality. It is advisable to exclude strong mechanical pressure and begin to study your body. The idea that my partner knows me better than I do is just a myth. No one knows a woman better than she herself. Masturbation, light techniques for stimulating erogenous zones develop sensitivity – you can use feathers, oils, light touches of the hand. Vacuum stimulators with air are now in fashion, where there are touches that do not clog receptors. This masturbation must be present in a woman’s life for sure. She helps to guide her partner, to understand where she feels good. A man often does not devote enough time to caressing, and if a woman does not caress herself, this all leads to a lack of orgasm when a woman is emotionally and physically not satisfied.

Masturbation is normal

Photo: Roman Danilkin / 63.RU

Share

— There is no such relationship. Such a story is possible when partners do not fit each other. For example, a man [size] is large, and a woman who has not yet given birth or has little experience, and her vaginal lumen is small. In this case, it is difficult for them, it can be painful for her. So it all depends on the partners – both on the woman and on the man, – Valeria is sure. – If a man knows how to relax a woman, excite her and gently enter with his large size, a woman may like it. But not always the size is a pleasure. It is a myth. Moreover, there are a lot of types of sexual contact, and even with a small size of the penis, you can bring great pleasure to your partner in other ways.

— What is to blame? Few caresses a woman? This can be, says the sexologist. – It is important for a woman to experience strong arousal in order to achieve orgasm, for this, before the contact itself, it is better to add foreplay – the longer the better. It is important for her to feel interest and attraction to a man, and a woman has much more caresses – 30-40 minutes. When a man does not devote time to a woman, it is easier for her to say, “You are somehow not like that,” and not to ask the question, “Why are you not paying me such attention? Why don’t you want to touch me, caress me, kiss me? Why don’t you and I have intimacy?” In such matters, it is better to change the focus from the partner to yourself and say: “I feel that we have moved away from each other”, “I am sad that we do not talk much”, “I wish you would touch me more often”. Then the question does not sound from the position of the accusation, but from the “I am the statement”. It’s easier to blame a man, but still it’s better to figure it out, start talking. I need to identify my own needs, understand what I want. Do I want to be petted longer? Do I want romance or, conversely, passion? And the man needs to talk about it. Talking about sex also raises libido. Every time we talk about sex, about sexual contact, there is a natural excitement.

Lack of orgasm with a partner is not a sentence. The problem can be solved by understanding the cause

Photo: Ilya Barkhatov

Share

— This is also a myth. To get maximum pleasure, a woman must go through three stages of sexual response, explains Valeria. The first stage is psychological. When a partner is interesting, when you are attracted to him, when there is a desire, and when you think, when you fantasize about him, excitement arises. The second stage is the physiological arousal, when there is bodily contact, caresses, touches, hugs, kisses. The better the psychological stage passed, the stronger the excitement. And the stronger the excitement, the stronger the orgasmic experiences, the more interesting the sexual contact. The third stage is the physical contact itself. If the maximum number of erogenous zones is involved, every centimeter of the body can bring pleasure. If a man does not caress a woman, does not devote time to her arousal, then a woman can quite normally do it on her own. Caressing your breasts, your hot spots (their stimulation automatically leads to arousal) inside, outside – it doesn’t matter. This is fine. And most men even turn it on. But due to the fact that we have a lot of prohibitions, attitudes, beliefs, for example, “Good girls don’t do that”, “A woman should be turned on by the first touch of her man”, of course, the brakes work. It is important to remove these attitudes and beliefs, to work through all these blocks. If a woman is maximally excited, there is pressure on erogenous zones, hot spots, an orgasm occurs from penetration. If a woman is not aroused, orgasm is harder to achieve.

The norm is everything that suits both partners

Photo: Roman Danilkin / 63.RU

Share

— It is difficult to catch the time second by second, but it is possible. This is also developing,” Valeria Shevchenko is sure. – When we feel each other, when we experience an orgasm at the same time as a partner, it’s really cool. This is possible if a man feels his woman, slows down somewhere, accelerates somewhere. And if a woman manifests herself in communication, suggests where she is pleased, stimulates herself. You can catch it, it’s real, but not necessary. If a man slows down, allowing a woman to have an orgasm, and then gets himself – this is normal. If a woman orgasms on her own after a man has enjoyed it, if she stimulates herself a little for this, this is also normal. In general, everything is fine if the couple is satisfied with it.

There are a lot of women, all women are different, and not all of them are chasing the release itself, the orgasm itself. A large number of women get psychological pleasure from contact with a partner, when there is closeness, when there are long caresses, when she feels love, need, importance, acceptance. And so much she is saturated with it that she is enough, she is satisfied.

– Opinions differ here. There are scientific studies that show that the G-spot does not exist, but still, most experts say that there is such a zone – this is an accumulation of receptors at a depth of approximately the phalanx of a finger along the anterior wall of the vagina, says Valeria. – This zone is activated when excited. This cluster of receptors can be felt when a woman is aroused. When there is no excitement, it is difficult to grope. The sex industry even has toys that target this area. I am inclined to believe that this cluster exists. But I also tend to believe that there are many such points – both inside and outside. Our body is capable of bringing us a large amount of pleasure and pleasure.

Valeria has a degree in psychology. She came to the topic of sex 5 years ago. This is a common story. I highly recommend keeping the balance of the three important aspects of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Commitment is a guarantee that the couple will keep the relationship, the importance of this relationship for them: “I am sure that we will be together.” Intimacy is emotional closeness. Passion is a biological component with a sex code: constitution, age, type of sexuality, smells, attraction, attraction, sexual behavior. It happens that a woman hangs in the role of a wife, she only takes care of her man – she cleans, feeds, irons shirts. But she does not pay attention to her man as a friend – she does not find time to sincerely talk, chat, there is no sexual intimacy, she does not go there, living in grievances, in claims. She has the role of a beloved woman – everything that is connected with contact, with tactility is absent or this is not enough. Then the partner has a need for sexual contact, for spiritual contact, and he goes somewhere else for this contact. It’s the same for women. You need to try to harmonize life when you are in each of the roles for the same amount of time.

— A lot depends on the ability to relax and trust, on feelings in a couple, on health. From whether there are factors blocking arousal – fear of getting pregnant, distrust of your man (maybe there were betrayals), a large number of conflicts, insults, claims, reproaches. Context is very important, lists the sexologist. – In mature couples, in mature relationships, there are already two or three children. This means that the children can come running at any moment, you have to cook food, there are a lot of different things to do, and also work. And in such cases, I, of course, recommend the couple to leave. Make it a family rule to be alone. It is clear that there are various difficulties, there is no one to leave the children with, but everything is possible, if there is a desire. It is also important how your bedroom corresponds to immersion in sexual contact, how much a woman likes it there, how much she relaxes, how comfortable she is, what aromas surround her, bed linen. This is a woman’s place where she can relax and fill up, and this is also important.

Some negative attitudes can also affect orgasm. For example, when in the parental family they said that sex is dirty, good girls don’t do that, you don’t need to touch yourself, this blocks the manifestation of desire. Where did the ban on premarital sex come from? Previously, there were no contraceptives, and in order to avoid unwanted pregnancies, they resorted to such a method – a psychological prohibition. In our time it is irrelevant at all.

Do you want an orgasm? Relax and tune in

org/Person”> Photo: Roman Danilkin / 63.RU

Share

— Successful psychosexual development contributes to orgasm. When a woman developed and went through certain stages of growing up, Valeria explains. – Also, orgasm contributes to the manifestation of sex activity. If I fantasize, I know my body, develop my erogenous zones, and we talk with a partner about sex, watch some erotic films, make erotic dates.

Trust in your partner is very important. If a couple has a stable relationship and a woman trusts her man. If there were any difficulties, conflicts, they successfully go through them, live and move forward. Freedom from feelings of guilt, fear, shame is important.

No stress, depression, neuroses. Now it is difficult, because there are external factors, such as the coronavirus, but there are also internal experiences, intrapersonal conflicts. Mental health plays a big role in the development of sexuality. When I believe in my sexuality, when I have contact with the body, I have no complexes, I know that I am sexy, this also contributes to the development of orgasm, this is an important factor.

Compatibility of partners, the same experience and values ​​are important in a couple

Photo: Ilya Barkhatov

Share

— It is believed that a mature female sexuality is reached around the age of 27-30, continues Valeria. – A woman accepts her body, she loves herself, she develops sensuality, learns to trust her partner. There is a connection with the body, contact with the body. A woman feels all bodily responses, and her ability to orgasm increases. It’s great when a woman gets a wide range of pleasure. Orgasm can be from the caresses of toys, and from the caresses of your man, and from independent caresses, and from a feather – from anything!

In maturity, if the couple has been in a relationship for a long time, sexual harmony sets in, a sexual idyll. It is desirable that it should come. Partners converge on social roles, on psychological and physiological factors, converge in the sexual constitution when they have the same amount of desire. Then the woman responds to the desire of her partner, he responds to her desire, together they freely talk about sex, develop together, raise their sexual intelligence. And, accordingly, they get more and more pleasure from contact with each other.

8 tips on how to increase orgasm for a woman

1. Consider the period of the cycle saturated with estrogens and testosterone, the latter of which is the main hormone of sexual arousal. At this time, the erogenous zones become more sensitive. And on the day of ovulation, a woman can get an unforgettable experience from sex.

2. Strengthen your muscles

During orgasm, there is a rhythmic contraction of the muscles of the vagina, uterus, pelvic floor, and sometimes the abdominals. Without regular training, they lose their tone, like any other muscle. And at the peak of pleasure they will be able to give out only a couple of three unintelligible spasms. For those who want to correct the situation , intimate muscle training methods will help. For beginners, standard Kegel exercises are enough (squeeze and unclench the pelvic floor muscles for 10 seconds), advanced ones can use vaginal balls with vibration. More sensual will make your body standard exercises for the press (they also affect the muscles of the pelvic floor) and the inner thigh (help strengthen the walls of the vagina).

3. Get to know your body

And get to know it with your mind. Giving pleasure to yourself is a pleasant occupation . But masturbation can train you for a super orgasm with a partner only if you do it in conditions close to the “field”. In other words, if you enjoy crossing your legs, you are unlikely to be able to reproduce this position with partner sex. For the same reason, it makes no sense to use “solo” those sex toys that you can not later use with a partner.

4. Have sex in the morning

Your brain is still asleep, which means you can relax more easily. Moreover, during morning orgasms, more “happiness hormones” – endorphins – are released into the bloodstream. The most favorable period for morning pleasures is from 8 to 10 o’clock, when the excitability of both men and women increases by about 25%.

5. Keep your feet warm

If your feet are cold, you can forget about the enchanting orgasm. Warm feet increase the chance of a successful finish by 30%! Doctors explain this by the fact that there are receptors on the skin of the feet that are responsible for the power of sexual pleasure. So what, hide your feet in unattractive socks? Not at all necessary! You can take a warm bath in advance or put on sexy stockings during contact with a partner, light a fireplace.

6. Look for new points of pleasure

We are not talking about the G-spot – it has been well studied for a long time. And besides it, there are other “undiscovered lands” in the zone of interest to us. For example, the K points are known – two small seals that are located to the right and left of the clitoris at a distance of about 1 cm. And also point C – a barely noticeable tubercle in the center of the perineum. Rhythmically pressing them, you can increase the contraction of the muscles of the perineum and orgasm.

7. Choose your position

Any position in which breast stimulation is possible will make orgasm more intense. Be sure to try poses that stimulate the G-spot. The most famous of them is the cowgirl pose. For maximum pleasure, lean back as far as possible and “jump” quickly.

8. Breathe properly

Taoist sexual practices recommend breathing deeply and evenly even at the peak of pleasure. For an untrained person, this task is almost impossible. Start small – try not to hold your breath. This is useful both for the body and for orgasm: the more oxygen enters, the brighter the sensations. If you want to make the sensations even brighter, try breathing with your stomach.

9. Practice yoga for sex

Yoga is energy management. Including sexual. A woman’s level of energy control is how quickly she can orgasm when having sex. We recommend yoga complex “Breath of passion” , read here: “Yoga: a complex for chic sex” .

What prevents you from strengthening your orgasm?

Sexy tight clothes, aphrodisiac products, lust-inducing scents – we resort to them to enhance pleasure. But they often interfere with reaching orgasm.

Tight clothing. It interferes with venous outflow. In women who often wear tight trousers or corsets, blood rushes to the pelvic area at the wrong time: such ladies are quickly excited, but they cool down just as quickly, often without reaching orgasm.