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What happens if i poop green. Green Poop: Causes, Concerns, and When to Seek Medical Advice

Why does poop sometimes appear green. What factors influence stool color. When should you be concerned about green poop. How diet and health conditions affect stool appearance. Is green poop ever a sign of cancer.

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The Rainbow of Stool Colors: What Your Poop Says About Your Health

The color of your stool can provide valuable insights into your digestive health and overall well-being. While brown is the most common and generally healthy color for feces, various factors can lead to a spectrum of hues in the toilet bowl. Understanding these color variations can help you identify potential health issues or dietary influences.

Common Stool Colors and Their Meanings

  • Brown: Normal, healthy stool
  • Green: Often diet-related, but can indicate other factors
  • Black: May suggest bleeding in the upper digestive tract
  • Red: Could indicate lower digestive tract bleeding or consumption of red foods
  • Yellow: Possible sign of fat malabsorption or liver issues
  • White: May indicate bile duct obstruction or certain medications

Is green poop always a cause for concern? In most cases, green stool is not a serious issue and is often related to dietary choices or temporary digestive disturbances. However, persistent changes in stool color should be discussed with a healthcare professional to rule out underlying health conditions.

The Green Poop Phenomenon: Common Causes and Explanations

Green poop can be surprising, but it’s usually not a sign of a serious health problem. Several factors can contribute to this colorful occurrence:

Dietary Factors Leading to Green Stool

  1. Consuming green leafy vegetables (e.g., spinach, kale)
  2. Eating foods with green food coloring
  3. Drinking green-colored beverages
  4. Consuming iron-rich foods or supplements

How does food affect stool color? The pigments in the foods we eat can directly influence the color of our stool. Green vegetables contain chlorophyll, which can tint feces green if consumed in large quantities. Similarly, artificial food dyes used in candies, drinks, and desserts can pass through the digestive system relatively unchanged, resulting in colorful stools.

Non-Dietary Causes of Green Stool

  • Rapid intestinal transit time (diarrhea)
  • Certain medications and supplements
  • Bacterial or viral infections
  • Bile pigment in the stool

Can medications cause green poop? Yes, certain medications and supplements can alter stool color. For example, iron supplements may lead to green or black stools, while some antibiotics can cause green diarrhea. Always inform your healthcare provider if you notice persistent changes in stool color while taking medications.

When Green Poop Signals a Health Concern: Red Flags to Watch For

While green stool is often benign, there are instances where it may indicate a more serious health issue. Being aware of these red flags can help you determine when to seek medical attention:

Warning Signs Accompanying Green Stool

  • Persistent changes in stool color lasting more than a few days
  • Abdominal pain or cramping
  • Unexplained weight loss
  • Blood in the stool
  • Fever or other signs of infection
  • Changes in bowel habits (frequency, consistency)

When should you consult a doctor about green poop? If green stools persist for more than a few days without an obvious dietary cause, or if they’re accompanied by other concerning symptoms, it’s advisable to seek medical advice. Your healthcare provider can help determine if further investigation is necessary.

The Gut-Brain Connection: How Stress and Anxiety Affect Digestion

The relationship between our mental state and digestive health is complex and bidirectional. Stress and anxiety can have significant impacts on our gut function, potentially leading to changes in stool color and consistency.

Stress-Induced Digestive Changes

  • Altered gut motility
  • Changes in gut bacteria composition
  • Increased intestinal permeability
  • Heightened sensitivity to digestive discomfort

Can stress cause green poop? While stress itself doesn’t directly cause green stool, it can lead to changes in digestion that may result in altered stool appearance. For example, stress-induced diarrhea can lead to faster transit times, potentially resulting in green-tinged stools due to the presence of bile pigments.

Digestive Health and Nutrition: Maintaining a Healthy Gut

A balanced diet and healthy lifestyle habits play crucial roles in maintaining optimal digestive function and overall well-being. By focusing on gut health, you can potentially reduce the occurrence of unusual stool colors and promote regular, healthy bowel movements.

Tips for Promoting Digestive Health

  1. Consume a fiber-rich diet
  2. Stay hydrated
  3. Incorporate probiotic and prebiotic foods
  4. Manage stress through relaxation techniques
  5. Exercise regularly
  6. Limit processed foods and excessive alcohol consumption

How can diet improve digestive health? A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins provides essential nutrients and fiber that support healthy digestion. Probiotic foods like yogurt and fermented vegetables can help maintain a healthy gut microbiome, potentially reducing digestive issues and promoting regular bowel movements.

Green Poop in Infants and Children: What Parents Should Know

Green stools in babies and young children are relatively common and often not a cause for concern. However, understanding the potential causes can help parents determine when to seek medical advice.

Common Causes of Green Poop in Infants

  • Transitional stools in newborns
  • Breastfeeding (foremilk imbalance)
  • Iron-fortified formula
  • Introduction of solid foods
  • Viral infections

Is green poop normal in babies? Green stools can be normal in infants, especially during the first few days of life or when transitioning between different types of feeding. However, if green stools persist or are accompanied by other symptoms like diarrhea, vomiting, or fever, it’s best to consult a pediatrician.

Debunking Myths: Green Poop and Cancer

There’s often concern about whether unusual stool colors, including green, could be a sign of cancer. It’s important to address these fears with accurate information to alleviate unnecessary anxiety.

Facts About Stool Color and Cancer

  • Green stool is rarely associated with cancer
  • Black or red stools are more concerning for potential malignancies
  • Persistent changes in stool color should be evaluated by a doctor
  • Other symptoms often accompany cancer-related stool changes

Does green poop indicate cancer? Green poop is generally not a sign of cancer. While changes in stool color can sometimes indicate serious health issues, green stools are most often related to dietary factors or benign digestive issues. However, any persistent change in stool color or consistency should be discussed with a healthcare provider to rule out potential underlying conditions.

When to Seek Medical Advice: Guidelines for Concerned Individuals

While occasional changes in stool color are often harmless, certain situations warrant medical attention. Being aware of these guidelines can help you make informed decisions about your digestive health.

Situations Requiring Medical Evaluation

  1. Persistent green stools lasting more than a week
  2. Green stools accompanied by severe abdominal pain
  3. Unexplained weight loss alongside changes in stool color
  4. Blood in the stool (whether visibly red or black and tarry)
  5. Chronic diarrhea or constipation
  6. Fever, chills, or other signs of infection

How should you prepare for a doctor’s visit regarding stool color changes? When consulting a healthcare provider about changes in stool color, it’s helpful to keep a diary of your bowel movements, noting color, consistency, and frequency. Also, record any recent dietary changes, new medications, or supplements you’ve been taking. This information can assist your doctor in determining the cause of the color change and recommending appropriate next steps.

Understanding the various factors that can influence stool color, particularly green poop, can help alleviate concerns and guide decisions about when to seek medical advice. While green stools are often harmless and related to dietary choices, persistent changes or accompanying symptoms should not be ignored. By maintaining a balanced diet, managing stress, and staying attuned to your body’s signals, you can promote optimal digestive health and overall well-being. Remember, when in doubt about changes in your stool or other digestive symptoms, it’s always best to consult with a healthcare professional for personalized advice and care.

Why Is My Poop Green?

We all do it. After you poo you take a look in the toilet bowl to see what just happened. Normally everything is a comforting brown color, but every now and again you may be greeted by a color you didn’t expect. What if it’s green, for example? Is that bad? Is something wrong with your digestive tract? Should you get things checked out? Read on to find the answers.

Factors of Poop Color


You are what you eat, and so is your poop. It will probably not come as a surprise that if you eat green food, you are going to have green poop. Kale and spinach are two vegetables known to affect the color of your poop more than some others. Predictably, eating a lot of these and other vegetables can turn your poop green. 

It is possible for a wide variety of colors to show up in your poop. This can include everything from black tarry stool produced by gastritis to white chalky poop if you have a blockage of your bile duct. Shades of bright red can come from something as simple as food coloring or as serious as bleeding in your digestive tract. Yellow poop is also possible if you have conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). 

Taking drugs and supplements can also affect your poop color. This can include antibiotics that turn poop green, iron supplements which can produce green or black poop and anti-diarrheal medication which can contribute to white poop. 

Bacteria and parasites are also commonly associated with a change in the color of your poop. Salmonella is a commonly known bacterium that can turn poop green. Giardia and the norovirus are also responsible for changing the color of your stool, as well as causing a tremendous amount of discomfort.

Not all changes in poop color come from the food you are eating. A long list of diseases of the GI tract can produce a change in the color of your poop. Some of these conditions can be quite serious. If you find your stool has made an unexpected change in color that lasts longer than a few bowel movements, it may be time to talk to your doctor. A few of the potential diseases and conditions that can be signaled by a change in poop color are as follows:

  • Celiac disease
  • Gallbladder disease
  • Tears in the lining of the anus
  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Ulcerative colitis
  • Tumors
  • Some types of cancer
  • Crohn’s disease 
  • Diverticular disease 

Why Is My Poop Green?


The most common cause of green poop is not a surprise. Eating a diet high in green vegetables such as kale and spinach can turn your poop green. 

Sometimes it isn’t the food itself but what is in your food that makes the difference. Kale may be healthy, but at the other end of the health spectrum dyes and coloring can also produce a change in the color of your poop. Drink mixes and frozen deserts are just two examples of foods that can contain green food coloring that may affect the color of your poop, especially if you consume large amounts of food and drink containing natural or artificial colors.  

It is also possible that other things you are ingesting could be changing the color of your stool. Iron supplements, for example, can have you seeing a different shade in the toilet bowl. Since iron deficiency is sometimes correlated with other gastrointestinal conditions, you may already be paying closer attention to your stool, which is one reason people notice green stool when taking iron supplements. 

Digesting foods can color your stool, be they veggies like kale or less healthy foods with dyes and coloring, but not digesting your food all the way can also have an effect on its color. If you have diarrhea, your food is not staying in your system as long as it normally should to facilitate proper digestion. When this occurs, bile from your gallbladder can still be seen in your poop, giving it a green color. Bile is normally secreted into the small intestine and is processed out as your body digests fat, meaning you normally don’t see it in your stool.

Most of the causes of green poop, especially if it only happens occasionally or when you have diarrhea, are fairly benign. Green diarrhea is something many people have experienced, especially when eating certain foods. If you see a change in your stool color that only lasts for a few bowel movements, it is not likely anything to worry about. If your feces change color for a longer period of time, though, it may be time to consult a doctor. It is possible that a change in stool color can signal a bacterial infection that may require medical treatment to resolve. 

Is Green Poop a Sign of Cancer?


There can be many colors of poop associated with tumors or cancer, but green is generally not among them. The color of your poop can tell you some things about what is going on in your body, but normally it is only part of the story. A change in the color of your poop is not, by itself, a problem that always needs to be checked out immediately. 

When a change in your poop color is accompanied by other symptoms, that is a different matter. If you are seeing large amounts of blood in your stool or are experiencing nausea, intense abdominal pain, unexplained fatigue, severe bloating and vomiting, you should seek medical treatment no matter what the color of your poop happens to be.  

Talk to Your Doctor About Green Poop


For something like a change in poop color, some people might find it embarrassing to talk to their doctor. Unless there is suddenly a massive amount of blood in your stool, waiting a few days to talk to your doctor is alright. If you are curious during this time, you can check out online resources such as the Mayo Clinic to learn more about what might be causing changes to the color of your poop.

No matter what your poop color is, any sudden change that is not tied to a change in diet should be monitored. If that change persists, you should talk to your doctor. Many common causes can be diagnosed by your healthcare professional, though in some cases you will be referred to a gastroenterologist for further diagnosis and treatment. At Carolina Digestive, we know a lot about poop, and we can help you understand what is going on with yours. A change in poop color may not be anything serious, but it could also be a sign of a dangerous condition that could be life-threatening if left untreated.  Make an appointment today if you have experienced a change in the color of your poop and are concerned something serious might be going on. We can help you find answers and understand what your poop is telling you.

Green Poop: 7 Things That Can Cause This Bizarre Issue

These contractions help move food through your digestive tract, but if they’re too strong and long-lasting, you might wind up with IBS-D, which stands for irritable bowel syndrome with diarrhea. If your muscle contractions are too weak, you may deal with IBS-C, which is IBS that causes constipation. If it’s really a toss-up depending on the day, welcome to life with IBS-M, or IBS involving a mix of both constipation and diarrhea. No matter your kind of IBS, you may also experience abdominal cramping, gas, and mucus in your stool.

If you have IBS-D or IBS-M, you might get diarrhea and have other symptoms during flare-ups, which can be triggered by stress, foods including wheat, dairy, and citrus, or hormonal changes like being on your period. As with many of the other issues on this list, if IBS is forcing your stool to rush through your body too quickly, you can wind up with green diarrhea.

If you’ve been diagnosed with IBS-D or IBS-M and you pretty much have things under control, you don’t need to freak out over the occasional green poop. But if you’re regularly having green diarrhea, and it seems to be linked with things like eating certain foods or feeling overwhelmed with stress, it’s a good idea to check in with your doctor. Together, you may be able to figure out if there’s more you can do to avoid flare-ups.

5. You have Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis.

Though these inflammatory bowel diseases have various differences, they can both make you more prone to diarrhea that might look green.

Crohn’s disease causes irritation in your digestive system, usually in your small intestine and the beginning of your large intestine, according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive Kidney Diseases. Diarrhea is a major symptom, and it can be green because of undigested bile, Dr. Shen says. If you have Crohn’s, you might also experience other symptoms like stomach pain, fatigue, fever, weight loss, bloody poop, reduced appetite, and malnutrition, according to the Mayo Clinic.

Ulcerative colitis happens when you have inflammation and sores in your digestive tract, usually in your large intestine and rectum, according to the Mayo Clinic. In addition to diarrhea, you might experience abdominal cramping, rectal pain, a sensation of really needing to poop, bleeding when you do actually poop, weight loss, fatigue, fever, and other unpleasant symptoms.

Much like with IBS, doctors aren’t exactly sure of what causes inflammatory bowel diseases. And, unfortunately, treating these conditions may require some trial and error. If you’re dealing with persistent poop problems, stomach pain, and anything else that seems concerning, see your doctor to see whether you have an inflammatory bowel disease.

6. You’re taking iron supplements.

First things first: You should take iron supplements only if your doctor says they’re necessary due to an issue like iron deficiency anemia. This happens when you lack enough iron for your body to create hemoglobin, a protein that’s essential for healthy red blood cells. If you start taking iron supplements without a doctor’s guidance, you might accidentally ingest too much and wind up with symptoms like nausea and vomiting, so you shouldn’t just decide to take them out of nowhere.

Now that you know that, if you do need to take iron supplements, keep in mind that they can cause green or black poop, Dr. Bedford says. If your poop is black, it actually may be a sign that your body is absorbing the iron properly, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine. On the other hand, green poop when you’re taking iron supplements may be a sign your body isn’t absorbing the nutrient properly, Dr. Bedford explains, in which case you should talk to a doctor to see whether you need to adjust your formulation or dosage.

7. You recently had your gallbladder removed.

Now, for the last stop on the bile train: Removal of your gallbladder, which stores bile, can result in green poop. This pear-shaped organ might need to be removed if you have gallstones, which are hard deposits of material that can block the flow of bile and cause a world of hurt. Also known as a cholecystectomy, this is one of the most common surgeries in the United States.

Why is my poop green? What does this mean?

It is not uncommon for poop to change color. The two main causes of poop color change are diet and conditions that change how fast food travels through our intestine.

Dietary causes of loose green poop may include:

  • Broccoli, green leafy vegetables, kale, spinach, wheatgrass
  • Iron supplements
  • Licorice
  • Green or black food coloring.

Conditions that could cause loose green stools include those that change how fast food travels through the intestine because bile (a yellow-green fluid that digests fats) doesn’t have time to break down.

Bile is produced by our liver and stored and released in our gallbladder. Anytime we eat food that contains fat, even a small amount of fat, a signal is sent to our gallbladder to release bile, which flows into the upper part of our small intestine through two small tubes (the cystic duct and common bile duct). Bile digests fats and also eliminates old red blood cells and some toxins from our bodies.

As bile travels down our intestine it is chemically altered by enzymes, and the color changes from green to brown. However, this process takes time. Conditions that can quicken intestinal transit time, meaning that bile retains some of its yellowish-green color, include:

  • Infection from bacteria, viruses, or parasites (eg, E. coli, Giardia, norovirus, salmonella)
  • Crohn’s disease
  • Gall bladder disease
  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Some medications, including Depo-Provera (medroxyprogesterone birth control shot), indomethacin, and iron supplements, have reported green poop as a side effect
  • Ulcerative colitis.

Generally, a color change accompanied by other symptoms, such as abdominal pain, diarrhea, cramps, weight loss, or fever should be investigated further.

Yellow poop changes may be a sign of infection, poor absorption, liver and gall bladder disease, celiac disease, pancreatic disorders, or dietary reasons. Bright red or black poop may indicate the presence of blood and you should seek medical advice straight away.

For more information see Green stool.

Why Is My Poop Green? What It Means When Your Stool Is Green

Listen, if you’re not already looking at your poop in the toilet after you do the deed, it’s time to start. You can learn a lot of crap about your health by, well, looking at your crap. (Sorry, but it’s true!)

Shape, size, and texture all matter, of course—but where peeping your poop really comes in handy is deciphering what’s up with its color. Red, for example, is usually a warning sign (unless you just had a huge meal of beets), but seeing green in the toilet (or on the paper after wiping) can make you say WTF, too.

Let’s back up a bit: Poop gets its typical brown color from a bunch of different things: yellow-green bile (made in the liver, released by the gallbladder), dead cells, gut bacteria, and of course, unused food waste, says Michael Rice, M.D., gastroenterologist at the Michigan Medicine Gastroenterology Clinic.

In most cases, seeing a tint of green in your poop is really NBD. “Green poop in itself is rarely concerning,” says Rice. But still, it’s helpful to know why your poop looks like something straight from the butt of the Grinch.

1. You’re on antibiotics.

Yes, antibiotics are great when you’re fighting off a bacterial infection—but they also kill the good bacteria in your gut, too, says Rice. Sometimes, when that happens, it can make your gastrointestinal tract work a little faster—which can change the color of your stool, he says, since those yellow-green bile pigments might not break down completely.

One way you might be able to combat this: taking probiotics. “Probiotics are live microorganisms of various strains of bacteria and yeast” that live naturally in your body already, says Rice, who adds that you can find these probiotics in foods (like kefir or yogurt), as well as supplements. Replenishing this good bacteria in your gut when it’s being wiped out by antibiotics can help your stomach maintain its status quo.

2. You switched to the birth control shot.

Depo-Provera works to suppress ovulation and has been associated with bloating or weight gain in some women, says Rice—but it’s also been known to cause some women to have green poop. “The mechanism behind this is not well understood,” says Rice, though he adds that it’s not necessarily a concern.

Still, if seeing green poop isn’t your jam, and you noticed it shortly after going on the shot, it’s worth alerting your ob-gyn to see if there’s another birth control method you can switch to.

3. You have a stomach bug.

When you have a bacterial or viral stomach illness—like norovirus, salmonella, or E. coli—your stool passes pretty quickly through your gastrointestinal tract (a.k.a., diarrhea). And in some cases, that poop can look green, again, because those bile pigments aren’t breaking down since things are moving so rapidly, says Rice.

Another condition called giardiasis—a parasitic infection often associated with drinking water contaminated with infected feces from animals or humans—can cause similar symptoms, he says.

In some cases, like with the norovirus, you just have to wait for things to resolve on their own (and make sure to drink plenty of fluids—too much diarrhea can make you dehydrated!). But if you’re experiencing fever, vomiting, dehydration, and intense abdominal pain in addition to that greenish diarrhea, see your doctor ASAP, as it could be a more serious infection and will need treatment, says Rice.

4. You’re on a salad kick.

Quick science lesson: Plants get their green color from chlorophyll—a green pigment that helps them absorb light and grow. And if you eat too many plants, that green stuff can show up in your poop, says Rice.

But it’s not just the green stuff that’s turning your stool a putrid color. “Eating lots of blue or purple foods, like blueberries, can mix with the yellow-green bile pigments and make your poop green as well,” says Rice. The same goes for blue and purple dyes in food.

TBH, there’s nothing you can really do about this, except scaling back your green veggie intake (and I’m not about that—veggies are the bomb-dot-com), so maybe just embrace your green-tinted excrement?

5. You’re taking iron supplements.

Taking iron pills orally can make your stool look black or green—but it’s important to make sure you know which color you’re dealing with (so go ahead and take peek in the toilet).

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, black stools are normal when taking iron supplements and may actually be a sign that your body is absorbing them correctly (though it’s important to make sure those black stools don’t look tarry or have red streaks running through them, which could signal another health issue).

Green stools, however, mean the opposite—that your body isn’t fully absorbing those nutrients—in which case, you should talk to your doctor about possibly changing to another form like intravenous (IV) iron, which won’t have the same green effect, says Rice. Though, TBH, you should be in close contact with your doc if you’re taking iron anyway, since it’s not something you should supplement with on your own.

6. You have inflammatory bowel disease or celiac disease

Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis, two forms of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), cause inflammation in your gastrointestinal tract—the same goes for celiac disease (an autoimmune disease where eating gluten leads to inflammation). This inflammation, then, can cause diarrhea, which can make your poop look green due to a faster transit again (like with antibiotics and stomach illnesses).

If you have IBD or celiac, it’s important to maintain a close relationship with your doctor to help keep inflammation—and as a result, symptoms—under control, says Rice.

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Why is my poop green and what does it mean?

POOP gives vital and interesting information about your diet, health and can even indicate if you have a disease.

It is normal for it to change in shape and colour depending on your daily diet and lifestyle, but sudden and drastic changes should be looked at to make sure nothing sinister is going on.

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If your stools have become green but your diet hasn’t changed, it is advisable to seek medical adviceCredit: Getty Images – Getty

Why is my poop green?

This is one of the most Googled questions in Britain.

Your poo may be green because you include lots of greens in your diet, such as kale, broccoli and spinach.

Blue foods can make your poop turn green too, like the superfood blueberries.

Certain colour dyes in food – such as blue, purple and black – can also turn your stools green as they exit the body.

Greenish poop is also caused by bile, which is a sign that your liver and pancreas are working well.

If your green number two is accompanied by feeling unwell and diarrhoea, it may be a bug in your gut like salmonella, giardia, or norovirus.

These cause diarrhoea, so your poo passes too fast through your intestines or the bacteria that helps to turn it brown are killed off.

Medications can also turn your faeces green, including some antibiotics, contraceptives, and iron supplements.

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Green poo is normally nothing to worry aboutCredit: Alamy

Is green poop bad?

No, it’s not a big deal on its own.

Green poo often shows that you are eating plenty of green vegetables, so is a good sign.

Your liver produces bile to aid digestion, and sometimes this can make your stools greenish. It’s not a problem, just a healthy system.

However, you should seek medical advice if:

  • You are feeling unwell and your poo has become green but you have not suddenly started on a green veg blow out.
  • The consistency of your number twos has changed along with it becoming green, and you aren’t scoffing loads of greens.
  • You haven’t made any dietary changes and your usually brownish poo is suddenly green.
  • Your stools have become green after a recent bone marrow transplant, because it can indicate rejection.

How do I stop green poop?

This depends on what is making it green in the first place, but here are some things to consider:

1. Eat a balanced diet, of which green vegetables are a part, alongside healthy fats, proteins and carbohydrates.

2. Help your liver and gallbladder by eating fermented or sour foods like kimchi and lemons.

3. Boost your gut bacteria, which contribute their own waste to yours to generate its brown colour, by taking a probiotic.

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A good variety of vegetables in your diet will help produce healthy pooCredit: Getty – Contributor

What should a healthy poop look like?

If you are fit and well, the colour of your poo is ideally medium brown, but some slight changes due to your diet are normal.

The brownish colour comes from dead red blood cells and waste from gut bacteria.

Eating green or blue foods makes your number twos turn greenish.

See a doctor if you experience extreme changes, but a little variability is fine.

What consistency should your poop be?

Poo consistency ranges from runny – normally a sign of an upset tummy – to hard, cracked, pellets like rabbit droppings.

You’re aiming for poop with a consistency between these, so soft but formed.

The Bristol Stool Chart describes the ideal form as like a sausage: either slightly cracked, or smooth.

Your poop is a good consistency if:

  • It is possible for you to hold it in for a short time
  • You can poop without straining
  • You can pass it all in one sitting

What if your poop has never looked like that?

Your poop is a great indicator of health and disease, and healthy stools can also change day to day.

But you should watch out for sudden changes to your poop which you can’t account for, and in particular extremes of poop colour or consistency.

Stool colour and consistency can even change dramatically if you have a stomach bug, but your body can recover from this fairly quickly.

Contact a health professional if you can’t explain any changes in your poop consistency or colour, or if:

  • Your poop has become a dark-black colour
  • There is red blood in your stool

At worst these could be signs of bowel cancer, or could indicate piles.

Very light-coloured poop, or creamy-white, could indicate an excessively fatty diet.

But if that isn’t you, and the poop is a bit runny, it might be a sign of pancreatic or gallbladder problems.

Mortified woman clogs boyfriend’s loo with huge poo so blames it on his cat… and it doesn’t end well

Why Is My Poop Green, Stool Color Bowel Movement Health

It’s the question that has been plaguing Google search engines basically ever since Google search engines became a thing: “Why is my poop green?”

It’s a valid concern, and if you’re feeling weird about inspecting your the contents of your toilet, don’t. “It’s good for people to look at their stool, and I encourage them to look at the color and the consistency, and so on,” says Robynne Chutkan, MD, an integrative gastroenterologist.

Thankfully, she says the potential explanations for green poop are mostly harmless.

The main reason for green poop is actually pretty simple — and it could even be a good thing. “If you eat a lot of deeply pigmented green leafy vegetables, like spinach and kale and so on, it’s normal for your stool to actually have a green tinge,” Dr. Chutkan says. So if you’ve ingested a lot of leaves, or even anything with a lot of green food coloring (like Jell-O), that’s likely the cause of lawn-colored number twos. And if that’s the case, it won’t stay that way forever, Dr. Chutkan tells us. Your stool will probably return back to its usual shades of brown pretty soon after that first trip to the bathroom.

Another reason for green stool could be that your food is traveling too quickly through your system. If your food doesn’t have time to digest, according to Dr. Chutkan, the bile doesn’t have time to break down as it goes through your intestine, which can sometimes cause it to remain green once it hits the toilet. This usually isn’t dangerous if it’s a one-off occurrence, as it typically happens when you get diarrhea from eating something — such as raw fish, expired food, or dairy (if you’re lactose intolerant) — that didn’t react well with your body. Diarrhea decreases the amount of time it takes for food to travel through your bowels, so that stool doesn’t get a chance to turn from green to brown. If you’re having a bout of food poisoning that’s turning your poop green, it’s probably a good idea to take an antidiarrheal like Pepto Bismol.

What Does Your Poop Say About Your Health?

Everybody poops – there’s even a best-selling children’s book about it. While it’s perhaps gross or embarrassing, taking regular number twos is a crucial component of normal digestive function, and any sudden change in your bowel movements could be a sign that something is wrong or abnormal. The color of your stools can be affected by a number of different things including diet, infection, digestive obstructions, or more. Let’s talk about what the color of your poos may say about your health, and when it might be a cause for concern.

What is Poop?

First things first: what are feces, anyway? When you eat, food passing through the body is broken down in the gut, and nutrients are absorbed through the intestinal tract. What is not broken down traverses the excretory system and emerges from the anus when we defecate. On average, poop is around ¾ water, with the remainder made up of digestive bacteria, undigested proteins, carbohydrates, and fiber, and a small amount of bile, a digestive fluid that is produced in the liver. Varying amounts of any of these, or the presence of other components in feces, may affect the color of your bowel movements.

Why is Poop Brown?

Feces get their normal brown color from bile, which has a yellow-green shade when it is produced in the liver but changes in pigment due to a series of chemical reactions that occur as it is processed by the digestive system.

So what does it mean when your number twos are not that familiar dark brown color?

Green Poop

If your bowel movements are coming out green, there’s not necessarily any reason to worry. This is usually a result of eating a large amount of green vegetables like spinach or kale. It could also result from consuming green food coloring or certain supplements.

Yellow Poop

Waste that is yellow in color can have a variety of possible causes. Yellowish turds are relatively normal, especially in infants who are breast-feeding. However, yellow poop that is greasy in texture and particularly foul-smelling could mean that your bowel movements have very high-fat content. This could be caused by a disorder such as celiac disease or gluten intolerance,

Pale, White, or Clay-Colored Poop

Excrement that appears unusually pale often indicates a low concentration of bile, which is what gives stool its brown color. This could mean that there is a blockage in the bile duct, or an issue affecting the liver or gallbladder such as a tumor, gallstones, or alcoholic hepatitis.

Black Poop

Unless you’ve recently eaten a whole mess of blueberries or black licorice, black stools should be treated as a potential cause for concern. This frequently means that there is bleeding somewhere in the upper digestive system, which can be caused by ulcers, acid reflux, or even cancer.

Red Poop

A red bowel movement might be alarming, but don’t panic – it could just be something you ate. Beets, tomato soup, and red jell-o are just a few examples of foods that can result in reddish feces. However, it could also mean there is blood in your stool, which could have a number of causes ranging from mild to serious. Specific sources of fecal blood can include menstruation, hemorrhoids, colitis, polyps, abnormal blood vessels, or cancers of the lower digestive tract. If your poop is coming out bright red and there is no clear dietary cause, you should call a doctor immediately.

Gastroenterology at Medical Offices of Manhattan

In all cases of unusual stool color, it’s important not to jump to conclusions – very often it will just be the result of something you’ve eaten. If you notice abnormal stool without a clear dietary cause, that’s when you should contact a doctor in case the issue may be something serious. Medical Offices of Manhattan’s Dr. Andrea Culliford is a board-certified gastroenterologist with extensive knowledge of conditions affecting the digestive tract. We also offer colonoscopy for diagnosis of these issues. If you encounter unusual bowel movements or any other digestive issues, don’t hesitate to set up an appointment.

90,000 Sru green shit – Symptoms and Treatment

Glad to see you on the Human Body channel! Recently, there are very few likes and this is a shame for our team! We hope for your support in the form of a like and a subscription to the channel!

Today we will talk about the colors of the stool and the reasons for the color change.

Contents of the article:

Normal chair color

Stool color, consistency or content may cause concern. And it is right! It should be remembered that they indicate a state of health, and deviations from the normal color of the stool can indicate various ailments.

Stool color depends on many factors, including food and drink intake. Stool is mainly composed of fluid, food, and bacteria. The correct color of the stool is brown. In addition, healthy faeces should be well formed (not too soft or too hard) and free from visible food debris.

Stool color may not always be a cause for concern, because the color of fecal matter most often depends on the type of food contained in the diet.

However when:

  • Stool discoloration persists for more than a few days, although the diet is varied,
  • stools are poorly formed, too loose or too hard (diarrhea or constipation appears),
  • Stool discoloration is accompanied by other conditions such as abdominal pain.

You should contact a specialist who will carry out the appropriate analyzes and diagnose the problem.

What colors of stool should be of concern?

Black feces

Black feces should always be a cause for concern, as it can signal life-threatening health problems. The most important cause of black stools is gastrointestinal bleeding, which can be caused by:

  • gastric ulcer and duodenal ulcer,
  • esophageal ulcer,
  • esophageal varicose veins
  • rupture of the gastric mucosa.

This symptom also raises suspicion of inflammatory bowel disease or bowel cancer. However, after you notice black stools, you shouldn’t panic. This is not always a sign of bleeding and does not have to be caused by illness.

Black stools can also appear after eating certain foods, such as:

  • black berries,
  • cherries,
  • beets,

and also after the use of preparations containing iron, bismuth compounds and other coloring pharmacological agents.To test the origin of troublesome stools, it is helpful to check for occult blood in the stool, a tester is sold in almost every pharmacy without a prescription. If the test is positive, you must inform your doctor!

Green feces

Green feces can also be a symptom of many serious medical conditions, but not necessarily associated with a specific condition.

Green faeces can occur in the following cases:

  • Food poisoning.
  • Irritable bowel syndrome.
  • Crohn’s disease.
  • Suction problems.
  • Food allergy.
  • Parasitic infections.
  • Celiac disease.

The green color of feces is also influenced by bile, which, passing through the intestines, changes its color from green to yellow, and then, under the influence of the bacterial flora of the digestive tract, to brown, from where the correct color of feces originates. The green color of the stool can be caused by the acceleration of the digestive tract, due to which the bile does not change color from green to brown.This state of affairs can occur, for example, when using laxatives.

In addition to accelerating passage through the digestive tract, stool discoloration to green can also be caused by antibiotic therapy, which disrupts the natural intestinal flora and produces harmful microbes that affect stool color. For this reason, when taking antibiotics, it is extremely important to take probiotics and consume yogurt and kefir.

Green color of faeces can also occur when we eat too much chlorophyll-containing foods.Which are found in lettuce, spinach, kale, broccoli, and many of the supplements we consume. The principle is that if a change in stool color to green is not the reason for consuming these products, see your doctor if the stool color does not return to normal within 2-3 days. This concludes the article. But that’s not all. Since the article turned out to be a little long, I will continue to release it tomorrow. Therefore, do not forget to subscribe to the channel and like it, for me is very important!

Source: zen.yandex.ru

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90,000 Former vegetarians – about returning to meat

I refused for the sake of refusal: before that I had already quit smoking, eating sweets, did not eat at all after 18:00 for some time, even if I went to bed in the morning. I liked to test myself, to check my strength.

This is a pure ego: I felt better than other passengers on the plane, because I was being served a separate vegetarian meal, in a restaurant I could ask loudly ten times if there was definitely no meat in the dish.The French in the market were spinning at the temple, and in response I considered them a village: progressive mankind does not eat meat.

Then finally I regained my sight and saw what a fool I am, how stupid it is, and began to eat again. Somewhere in the last three years, however, rarely, but I eat meat. I don’t cook meat dishes at home, but if I’m visiting, I eat everything that is offered. I have no allergies, and therefore my eating habits and addictions have become completely invisible to others: I can eat, I can not eat.

Same with cigarettes and alcohol.I just don’t need a rigid framework for self-determination anymore. Physically, I feel better (lighter) on a diet with less meat, I love and know how to cook vegetables and fish. I have been doing yoga for many years, it slows down the metabolism, which means that over time you want to eat less and choose less high-calorie foods. I like having a choice, I like the flexibility and freedom of the Omnivor’s diet: I eat what I want, when I want, where I want and with whom I want. And I do not blame anyone.


In 2011, I traveled to Latin America.My friend lives in São Paulo and her father has a hacienda in the suburbs where I was invited. At the hacienda, there were animals that were raised to be eaten. The locals worked there, who dealt with all these animals and let them go to all kinds of homemade dishes, freezes and pickles.

At some point, on the third day, the owners decided to make a Churasco – Brazilian barbecue, and realized that they had decided to slaughter a lamb. I heard what sounds this lamb made, he was very scared, he squealed, fought, and then he was killed and cooked.I was stressed from the fact that I saw what the animal was experiencing at this moment, what a strong negative energy it carries.

I started to have such a quirk that I eat the meat of animals that are killed and they feel incredible fear. I did not want to consume this energy in any way, plus this picture of a slaughter was in front of my eyes. I started slowly – at first I gave up meat, then I stopped eating fish, for about a year I began to eat exclusively plant foods.

There was a complete misunderstanding on the part of my family, because there is so much delicious food around, and I eat only salads and couscous with vegetables.When I traveled with friends, they bought various ham, filled it all with sangria, and I sat on the sidelines. At first there were dairy products and eggs, then I also tried to exclude them, but after about two or two and a half years I started having stomach problems.

Initially, I did not feel any negative consequences of refusing animal food, on the contrary, it seemed to me that it even got better. But a strange moment appeared (by the way, I still cannot get rid of it) – I very quickly began to freeze.

My vegetarian experience lasted about four years, at some point I went to the doctor, and with a completely different problem, not related to nutrition, and he sent me for tests. When I received the results, I was asked: “Do you have children?” I have no children. Then I was told that my indicators were very low, just a little more – and everything will be very bad, and if I want to have children someday, then I need to do something. The doctors prescribed me a diet, where there was boiled chicken, turkey, and I slowly began to eat it all again.

I lived in Italy for many years and after I started eating meat again, I stopped denying myself any goodies altogether. However, I still don’t eat pork, mostly I only eat beef, about once a week and only boiled, nothing fried or harmful, I eat a lot of fish. I try to eat right and I can say that I feel better, including this can be seen from the test results.

But I still believe that you are what you eat, and if it were not for my visit to the doctor, I might not have returned to meat, but it was the medical indications that made me think. Now I do not think to go back to a vegetarian lifestyle, I feel good and I cannot imagine how it is possible without raw salmon or tartare.

Founder of the Sorelle clothing brand


The refusal from meat was more likely under the influence of the environment, I had no thoughts about pity for animals, I was interested in the process itself. I tried to learn to meditate, nothing worked out for me, I could not concentrate, I started going to yoga, and the teacher also instilled in me the idea that it might be worth trying to give up meat in order to become lighter, because the body supposedly puts all its energy into digestion of food.I decided to give it a try.

Everything turned out quickly – I abruptly stopped eating poultry and meat, but left fish and dairy products, however, I ate them very rarely, and I could eat eggs only if they were part of a dish, for example pancakes or pies.

The experience lasted three years, everything was fine, I felt excellent, light, I had more energy, but I had problems with my hair and I lost a lot of weight. I had a dry sinewy body, and at that time I didn’t even need sports.I drank vitamins, a lot of calcium, I ate a lot of nuts, although I don’t like them. In general, I tried to somehow compensate for the lack of trace elements. I was in some kind of eternal zen, in a very friendly mood – I don’t know if it’s really connected, but it seems to me that it is.

Everything changed when I started dating a young man who ate a lot of meat. I looked at all this and realized that the body also begins to ask – I really wanted to also eat some cutlet or barbecue, but I kept myself.I kept it because it had already become some kind of principle, something like “I haven’t eaten for three years now, how can I start now, no, I’m holding on.”

I decided to return to meat when we were in Georgia. I started learning how to snowboard, and there, in the mountains, there is nothing really meaty – you eat either khachapuri or tomatoes, but you also do not have enough of this for a long time. I was spending all my energy reserves on the mountain, and I just didn’t have the strength. At some point on the mountain, I freaked out, heard the smell of food from the kiosk, ran to this stall, took two hot dogs and ate them on the spot.

From that moment on, I can no longer be stopped, and, frankly, I have no remorse, I, on the contrary, seemed to be let go. I took off these frames, began to enjoy myself, I really just felt delicious, the food is wonderful.

The sensations, of course, are completely different, I want to sleep more, after eating it takes about 15 minutes to come into working mode and turn on. My overall health has not changed much, but I can definitely say that I have run out of hair problems.True, I recovered a little, and I need to go in for sports, I am forced to start thinking more about what I eat, about how fat it is.

Now I have an idea to do fasting weeks, eat only vegetables, cooked food, do not eat meat, do not drink coffee and tea. When people ask me if I would recommend trying a vegetarian lifestyle, I always say yes, this is cool, this is a great experience and worth trying for yourself.

Brand Manager of the Affex brand


At some point, the fashion for vegetarianism began, and my parents were also interested in this.Despite the fact that no one persuaded me in this direction, I also decided not to eat animal products. There was no ethical implication in this, the sad eyes of the cows do not bother me in any way. I would even like to go hunting.

In total, I have not eaten meat for about seven years, however, I gave up everything gradually. First I stopped eating meat, then poultry, and then fish. I ate eggs, from dairy – only yogurt and cheese, this is my guilty pleasure. And I never really drank milk, and I don’t want to.But I do not understand people who, for example, do not eat meat, but eat fish. This is some kind of vegetarian fascism – like the fish is so stupid, and the cows are good.

The main problem was that food is always about communication. When people get together at a large table, it’s not so much to eat, but to communicate, discuss something, experience some moment or culture through food. And when in a large company one person does not really eat anything, it creates difficulties. He is, as it were, with everyone, but still aloof.I felt it, although, unlike many vegans, I never boasted of my lifestyle.

I can’t honestly name any specific benefits of a vegetarian diet for myself. I returned to meat like this: at some point I had to live alone, and in order to simplify my life, I began gradually, step by step, to introduce into it the products that were around. Then there was a new fashion for all kinds of diets, healthy food, low-fat cottage cheese, boiled chicken. And I, too, began to eat a diet, try to eat healthy foods, again exclude red meat.I can say that it was during this period that I felt the worst.

It so happened that I went to a nutritionist, and they told me that I needed red meat. As a result, now I almost don’t eat chicken, because they add too much chemicals and antibiotics to it, and I don’t eat pork, but I do eat bacon. Now I have, as I joke, the Georgian diet – I eat a lot of lamb and beef and feel better than ever. I feel much more energetic, the word “energetic” is exactly the right one – before I generally thought that I had chronic fatigue syndrome or something like that, I woke up and already felt overwhelmed and tired.


As a child, I saw a slaughtered cow and since then I thought about whether it is right to eat animals. The starting point was reading Foer’s book Eating Animals, after which I abruptly stopped eating meat and seafood. The book very competently contains all the answers to the questions, and I decided for myself that eating meat is really wrong. Dairy products remained in my diet, I ate eggs only in some dishes, not in pure form.

My vegetarianism lasted for three years.Its most important advantage is that I discovered a huge number of products that I didn’t know and didn’t taste before, for example hummus, buckwheat noodles, tofu, some vegetables that I didn’t eat before – turnips, pumpkin. The feeling of lightness is also a pleasant aspect, and I also began to smell better.

But I also faced problems almost immediately – I began to gain weight very much. During my vegetarianism, I gained about six kilograms, which then went very hard.I also had colds all the time.

In one of these colds my mother came, cooked some kind of strong chicken broth and literally poured it into me. After that, I very quickly came to my senses and began to slowly return to meat. I started with poultry, then red meat gradually appeared, but I still don’t eat pork.

Most importantly, I realized that you cannot leave your nature. When I went to see a nutritionist, it turned out that I had the first blood group. I don’t know if this is true, but it is believed that they are predators that need meat for health and well-being.I did not bother on this topic and took it for granted.

The ethical issue has surfaced and continues to surface ever since. Perhaps I am just justifying myself, but I realized that I live in such conditions and the society is built in such a way that people eat animal meat.

This year I again tried to switch to vegetarianism, but only survived for a month and a half – I had rashes on my skin, and the beautician again advised me to return to my normal lifestyle, after which everything really returned to normal.Travel was another reason for the end of vegetarianism. I realized that a huge number of different cuisines are built around meat dishes, and since I am generally a gastro-enthusiast, a lover of food and trying new things, I decided that giving up meat simply negates many possibilities and in fact does not quite fit with my general philosophy of life. …


Cover: Tiger Chu – stock.adobe.com

Arseniy Popov: interview about the program “Improvisation” and the ability to joke | GQ

The program “Improvisation” on the TNT channel was launched at the beginning of the year, and four of its participants are already competing with the leading Comedy Club, although they work in a completely different format.We decided to talk to one of the participants, Arseny Popov, about the complexities of a humorous show, in which there are no prepared jokes. At the same time, Arseny tried on new Timberland Amherst sneakers, which he really liked.

Arseny Popov in a Timberland sweater, shirt, trousers and sneakers.

You know, if you meet Ivan Urgant off the air, he at least does not smile and seems very tired and rather sad. Are you joking off the air?

Most actors do not act in life – this is, apparently, such a typical actor’s trait.I am so frank in life that I even feel sorry for wasting time on some kind of lies. It, I already understood, will not lead to anything. Probably, if I walk down the street on some business, I am the gloomiest person in the world, but if I meet someone with whom I communicate, I am very happy with people, I have fun with them. Although, again, this can not be understood by the face. And about fatigue: since the age of 14 I have been told every day, every year that I am losing weight and looking more and more tired. Probably such an appearance. I sleep well.

How much do you need to get enough sleep?

How much will be given.Two hours is good. Once I read from someone that it is enough to get five minutes of sleep at two hours and fully recover. I even tried that for 24 hours, and then I finished reading an article about that person – they say he went crazy. So I went back to normal.

Do I understand correctly that you have an actor’s diploma?

Yes, theater and film actor diploma.

That is, can you give a drama?

I want it. Not that I can – I want to. In fact, in St. Petersburg I serve in two theaters.I just play in performances, not in the full repertoire. Just so as not to forget that I am an actor.

And at one point there was a transition from stage to screen, right?

Yes, for a long time actually. The program has been on air since 2016, but we have been working on it for three years. There are many projects with pre-prepared jokes, and they make it much funnier than we would have done. And for three years we have defended the right to improvise so that the audience does not have a question, but is it prepared, is it not edited?

So it wasn’t the producer’s idea?

The producers offered to play it safe, get ready.We fought with them. I don’t know how to make up jokes, that’s all. I can’t sit down and compose. You ask me to joke – I cannot. In improvisation, what is the point: we get out of the proposed situation. But like this, sitting at home, coming up with something for yourself, choosing from a billion phrases, words, sentences, some necessary ones – it does not work, I tried.

I thought that if you get one, then you get the second.

We once tried with Sergei (Matvienko, a participant in Improvisation.- Approx. ed.) their forces in humorous projects, which, probably, did not become very famous. This is exactly what killed me. I flew out of them because I couldn’t compose ahead of time. But everything that was momentary was successful.

You have five people in your program, including the presenter, all men. Will anything change if one of the participants is a girl?

Yes, I wouldn’t have anything to play. We often have humor due to the fact that one of us has to play a girl.This becomes a ground for jokes, because we imagine girls as somehow one-sided, the female audience giggles at this. And if there is a girl among the participants, female roles will go to her. In addition, together with the girl, there would appear, as it seems to me, an unnecessary struggle for her attention in our program. In general, we did not really try, but when we encounter them, we understand that girls are afraid to be funny. They joke very well, but they are afraid to find themselves in a stupid, in a stupid situation, in a light unfavorable for them.The girl will always try to fix her hair, not to lose her face in the dirt, and this is not useful, because we need to react quickly.

Why don’t guys care about that?

Well, we’re not girls. I don’t care if my hair gets loose and the collar of my shirt collapses.

We started talking about female and male humor. When you watch Comedy Woman, for example, is it funny or not?

So, I’ll tell you now, and I hope no one will shoot me or scold me for this: I rather watch than listen to this program, if you understand what I mean.Of course, they are very cool there. Katya Skulkina! It seems to me that it is impossible to be above her, you cannot be higher than her in status. Barnabas is, of course, a sex symbol. I just love everything she does. Especially, by the way, I like that she is not afraid to be funny in ridiculous situations. This is her cool. And of course, their leader Natalya Andreevna. I don’t even know, I would like to participate in something with her, if it is somehow possible. Comedy Woman has a cool trick: guys come to them. And as soon as a man appears, they all bloom straight.That is, we do not peep at them in the dressing room, not in their kitchen conversations, which, it seems to me, should be kitchen conversations, the most important thing is that the guys do not know what the women are talking about. And not know what they want. I don’t want to know this trick. I want to see how beautiful they are on the street, at work, at a meeting with a loved one, on stage. And this kitchen is of no use to me. I want to believe that this is magic.

On Facebook, in order to collect more likes, you post a fictitious cat. Do you have such “cats” in improvisation – the most primitive, but guaranteedly effective jokes?

There is no such an anchor, there is no salvation that will pull you out of any situation.But 99 percent of the time it works if you play a girl. A man in the role of a woman is already funny. Now I’m even trying to remember, maybe I have a set of jokes that I throw out if nothing came to my mind. I’m dull and that’s it. I stand and do not move.

Does the shocker hurt?

Very! I hate this game.

How does it compare?

I don’t know what it can be compared to. I was electrocuted, of course, in my life, this is even, probably, the first time when my father heard obscenities from me.It seems to me that my parents will still believe if they find out that I do not use foul language, but then it was loud and out of control. So, it’s impossible to get used to a shocker. And what is most terrible, at first it was impossible to think, to guess the letter because of which you are being electrocuted. Now it has become easier; the faster you turn on and guess, the less you get.

What about the red room? It seems to me that it is so impossible to move lying down.

This is difficult, but we are a little used to it. At the beginning there were a lot of bruises: it cannot be said that we are not professionals in lying, but not on the floor.Now, apparently, the body has prepared for this. I’m not always happy with what it turns out, although in fact it’s a very funny improvisation, in ordinary life I can’t climb the ceiling and do some trick, but here I’m spinning, spinning.

How do you prepare? Where do you get the material for improvisation?

The luggage of films seen, books read should, of course, be replenished somehow, but not individually, but together. Our preparation is often, for example, a joint trip somewhere.Even just in a cafe or a movie: so that we can later joke on this topic or remember this moment. But the main thing is that we cannot rehearse within four walls. Before filming, we have open performances for the audience, and this is where we rehearse. We need a reaction from the audience, we need tasks from the audience.

What, according to experience and the reaction of the audience, are the most successful topics now?

Probably, this is what I did not observe, but it seems to me that if there is something more eternal, let’s say, classic themes: relations between men and women, parents with children … It’s always cool to play in them, because they are always recognizable, for them no special training of the viewer is needed.Because if you joke on a topic that is too abstruse (which I am often accused of), the viewer is not funny, because he simply does not know about it. We recently had an improvisation about a girl who practices yoga, and when I said a few terms from yoga (not because I understand, but because I heard and remembered them somewhere), people who practice yoga giggled, and the rest of the audience looks: “Oh, what is this?” Therefore, I want to joke easier, on topics that are simpler, but not for children, all these fairy tales, kindergarten, they also cause rejection.Well, if you suddenly say something so momentary, opportunistic, then what they are talking about now, about the Olympics, about doping scandals, about bribery and corruption – it all works, these are adult topics, they attract a serious audience, but here Probably, we do not really understand … Fortunately, we have assigned roles in our quartet.

And what is your role?

I am such a person from St. Petersburg. And if someone doesn’t understand my jokes, they joke about me that Arseny came out again and said something like that, only he could understand.Therefore, I am not just ashamed to be clever, but for my taste, I am not clever at all. If one of the educated people looks at what I am saying, they will most likely smile that I do not understand this. But nobody needs it. What for? There are smart, intelligent transmissions.

If a stranger asks: “Come on, joke,” what do you answer him?

I was lucky: no one asked that. My fans are educated, St. Petersburg.

(Laughs.)

They may ask for a photo, but not joke.But if suddenly someone asks, it will immediately become clear that the person has never watched “Improvisation”, does not understand its essence.

Did your participation in the program give you any bonuses?

Of course. It is much easier for me now, for example, to be in any company, because there will be no silence. Someone ask something, I’ll tell you something. Although, of course, I try not to pull the blanket over myself. I think I am modest in life.

Are you competing with each other? Maybe after the programs?

I have some kind of problem with competition.When I win, I feel so upset that the other person has lost. Because of this, I hate all these competitions so much. It’s even easier for me to lose and see the joy of a person. Well, the truth is, it costs me nothing: I slowed down a little, and you came running faster. But here we, for example, keep track of who has how many followers on Instagram. Shastun (Anton Shastun, also a participant in Improvisation – Ed.) Has twice as many.

Well, that’s because he’s tall.

Tall, single, young, funny.Although, it is unlikely that the football goalkeeper is worried that the striker has scored a goal. We are a team after all, and I understand that without my suggestions my partner will not “laugh it off”, without my beginning of the joke he will not be able to finish it. Otherwise we would be in solo projects.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

I like the stand-up genre. The main niches there are, of course, occupied by very talented guys. But maybe there is some story of mine. I would like to maybe just broadcast some kind of program or act in films.You know, I play dead bodies very convincingly. As the experience of my serial attempts has shown, I am excellent at playing silent bartenders, even white shirts are fine for me. What else? I played glamorous bandits. I remember now the episode of the door opening, we jump out of a dark toned minibus, I have a real gun, single partners, and my long hair is loose. I directly remember how I was on camera and then started shooting.

Long hair of your own?

Yes, when I moved to St. Petersburg, I had long hair.

How am I?

Even longer. I put them back, and a pigtail came from the rubber bands. Many people say that they shouldn’t have cut their hair. There was something about that.

Do the guys know?

Unfortunately, yes. I have already sipped their jokes on this topic.

How do you rest when you have time for it?

Someone asked me this question recently. I hadn’t thought about it before. Since then I thought about it. My work as such is not difficult. Here she is fun for me.

Usually the actors say: “Shooting is so hard, so exhausting” .

Yes? How I want to say so. How I want to act and get tired of it. In fact, it’s all a joy to me. I get tired at home because I can’t do nothing. I’d rather agree to some kind of adventure, some kind of project.

We agreed to shoot at GQ.

Yes, for this adventure. So I came and have fun with you. And the road tires me too. I cannot drive for more than an hour.

Where do you spend your vacation?

For two weeks at sea and in the sun, you can endure four hours on a plane. I don’t know how to rest alone. Only with friends or loved ones, when they offer some kind of trip and call. I don’t know myself. It seems to me that if they told me: “Do what you want”, I simply would not be able to come up with that and would die of melancholy in the center of the room.

Do I have to say that I am a rag-maker? What is this for me right part of the rest? I can go shopping all day.Even if I don’t buy anything, that also counts. When I visited Spain for the first time, I did not see a single attraction, but I was in all the shops. If they tell me: a museum or a shop? I’ll say: shop.

Is your closet neat?

What if I say that I have no closet?

How is it, I wonder? Where do you store everything then?

I am like a parasite, like a cuckoo, I put it in someone’s closet. Then they swear at me, they say: you have your regiment.I promise that I will clean everything up, and in a couple of days you can again find my things among the same ones. In everyday life, I am probably a very unsettled person. I put things away, put them, but it’s easier for me to hang them in the nearest department. When I go out into the street, it is easier for me to put on what hangs closer than to choose from all that is.

Who is the most fashionable off-air?

Ya. Although everyone will probably say that Seryoga (Matvienko. Ed.). Seryoga dresses cool because he lives in Moscow and has his entire wardrobe here.And I live in St. Petersburg, and I have no opportunity to dress for the weather. Therefore, it is now cold, but I wear a jacket and can get sick.

Can you tell your friend about his clothes: “You know, it’s not yours”?

Of course. I love how the guys have transformed after meeting me. Pozov (Dmitry, also a participant in Improvisation. – Ed.) Dresses much better. Shastun follows fashion. Seryoga was already a fashionista. The only thing is that we, perhaps, are competing with him a little in this regard.I look, he has some cool thing, and I say: “Damn, it’s a pity that you saw her first.” We even had a story. Together we tried on the pants, different in size, the same in style, and almost on the “rock-paper-scissors” were thrown off who buys.

An important question. How can a girl tell a guy that he has no sense of humor, without offending him, but also forcing him to think and improve?

Nothing. Now, if they tell me that I am not funny, I will bear it, of course, but I will curse.

That is, do not speak at all? To put an end to it?

Well, no, if you are interested in something else besides humor, give him a compliment about his strengths. But if you tell a guy that he is in trouble with a sense of humor, it’s the same as telling a girl that she is fat. I think this really hurts the guys.

What if he doesn’t even try to joke and keeps talking about something serious?

This means that there is no need to force.So he is a different person. If it’s important, don’t date him. Although I’m pretty sure everyone knows how to joke. If someone laughs at someone else’s joke, then they have a sense of humor. If he’s not joking at all, then maybe he’s just shy.

Can you somehow pump it over? What would you suggest?

When I got to the guys in their humorous atmosphere, I realized that I was far behind, because the three of them have a Kaveen past. And my … My father is a humorist, I always find it funny how he jokes, how he can defuse a situation, even the most absurd one.It seems to me that I got something from him, but this is how to joke, and most importantly – to do it not when you want, but when necessary – this has never happened in my life. Therefore, while the guys rubbed against each other, I tried to intercept something from them.

How did you catch up with them?

I still think that I have not caught up. But communication in this circle helps. And I also watch, including KVN, some humorous programs, analyze, try to understand what I like and what not.If you don’t like it, then I’m not shy. I am such a person that I will not laugh at the unfunny, I will not dissemble, I will say everything as it is. They say you need to be more tactful with people.

Can you recommend three jokes to start dating a girl?

I have no ready-made recipes, but I can tell you about the cases that I remember. Just recently a girl came to us, at that moment I somehow absurdly sneezed, apologized and said: “Sorry, I’m allergic to beauty.” Then, I remember, there was a situation: a girl all in green came.I’m not sure if it suited her, but everything was green: her dress, her purse, and her shoes. I go up to her and say: “Hi, my favorite color is green, and yours?” In general, it seems to me that with girls it is better to joke about someone else or about yourself, and not about them, not all girls love this. Of course, those who love are divine, but it is better to say compliments. By the way, this is the best joke. Estimate the depth. A compliment is often a lie.

Surely your jokes are often offended? How do you feel at this moment?

I’m sorry.I’m not a joke, I just rarely want to offend someone, I’d rather trample myself in the mud. I know that it didn’t cost me anything, but the person may be offended for the rest of his life.

Do you have any forbidden topics on the air that you ask not to touch?

First, we can’t …

… Joke about Paul Volya?

No, by the way, in this regard, he is a very easy person. He says: “Guys, you will fall asleep, sand me, please, I will play along.” There is no taboo.It is clear that we do not touch politics, but not because we are somehow forbidden, we just do not really understand this, and this is ugly – without understanding, to climb somewhere. We, of course, do not swear: the law.

Although, probably, some jokes would be better?

Not in my case. Swearing does not suit me, so this taboo in the media is, let’s say, good for me. Maybe I would swear, and it would have turned out funnier, but it’s impossible. Although I myself think that I would not have come up with anything with obscenities. In fact, I do not like dirty jokes, physiological.I think they are not funny. You see, imagination is an important factor in our show, and if someone imagines it, God forbid, it will be more disgusting than funny.

The material was prepared in cooperation with Timberland, which this fall presents the new Amherst leather sneakers, released in two versions: low

Oxford (that is what you see on Arsenia) and high Chukka. We would like to thank Antique Boutique & Bar for assistance in filming.

Photo: Maxim Sizintsev; Photographer’s assistant: Pavel Afonin

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