Robin Williams: A Terribly Real Thing in a Terribly False World

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.”

That quote belongs in Emilie Autumn’s psychological thriller novel, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.

It’s the essence, I think, of Robin Williams. He was so real—so passionate, brilliant, empathetic, brave, and sensitive—letting us see the exquisite beauty that is a byproduct of living with your heart exposed to the world.

That kind of behavior is so rare and so risky.

Because it is so hard to be real today.

In 1959, when Victor Frankl published his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, he discussed the research of his one his colleagues, Edith Weisskopf-Joelson, professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. She wrote:

Our current mental-hygiene philosophy stresses the idea that people ought to be happy, that unhappiness is a symptom of maladjustment. Such a value system might be responsible for the fact that the burden of unavoidable unhappiness is increased by unhappiness about being unhappy.

She believed that Victor Frankl’s logotherapy—a mental health strategy based on finding one’s life meaning—“may help counteract certain unhealthy trends in the present-day culture of the United States, where the incurable sufferer is given very little opportunity to be proud of his suffering and to consider it ennobling rather than degrading.”

Now mind you, that was BEFORE the positive psychology movement. BEFORE the happiness craze—the media’s obsession with smiley faces and thousands of publications promising the way to joy. BEFORE mindfulness efforts and Buddhist monks showing us we can meditate our way to bliss. BEFORE all the tomes on the neuroplasticity of the brain and how we can think our way to contentment, one happy thought at a time. BEFORE Facebook and the documentation of happy lives!

Williams may have been bipolar or depressed. He definitely struggled with addiction. But I think the cause of his death was his incredible sensitivity and sensibility that made living in this world so painful.

I get that.

My three best friends are very real and therefore really struggle in this unreal world. All three have told me at times that they would be relieved to get a terminal illness; however, only one suffers from clinical depression. One had a near-death experience as a child and can’t forget the “warm glow” she experienced, and how harsh this world is in contrast. The other is deeply philosophical and religious—the most spiritual man I know—and he just knows in his heart and soul this world is but a preparation for the next.

I know this is a very unpopular view (I’ve been told), but I see life as a 4.4 mile swim across the Chesapeake Bay. It’s hard. It demands perseverance and persistence. The most challenging stretch is between mile two and three (the 40s and 50s) because you are so tired, but realize you have a ton of yardage to go. If the race coordinator swam out to me at 2.5 miles and said I was done—that my race ended at 2.5–I wouldn’t exactly be disappointed. In fact, if I could summon the energy and tread water, I might do a happy dance.

But I really have to watch what I say with most people, because, when I answer the “How are you?” question honestly. I get the disappointed look a lot, or the pity look, or the what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you look, or the you’re-just-plain-pathetic look. The happiness police will arrest you if you throw out one too many negatives and will sentence you to five hours of gratitude lists.

I mean, the other day I ran into some guy and he asked me about my kids.

“They’re good,” I said.

I thought I was safe with that one.

Oh no.

“Just good?” “Not great?” he responded.

And I wonder why I’ve needed so much therapy, I’m thinking to myself.

“I meant that they are so bloody fantastic I can’t say ‘superstar’ fast enough! So excellent that I haven’t had a chance to post all of their recent accomplishments on Facebook! HAVE AN INCREDIBLE, SUPERB REST OF THE AFTERNOON. Because anything less will be disappointing!!!!”

Facebook is, really, an accurate portrayal of our happiness-successful-obsessed culture.

My sister was telling me how she was unfriending some people who were always posting pictures of parties they were invited to, trips they’ve taken, etc. All the “cheers” shots were starting to make her feel depressed.

Over the weekend, she called me all excited. Her daughter won four prizes, including two first-places, in a horse show.

“You posted the picture of her with all those ribbons on Facebook, right?” I asked her.

“As soon as I snapped it,” she replied, laughing.

Maybe one of the reasons I loved Robin Williams so much is that he made me feel normal. His impish and compassionate grin inspired me to answer the “How are you?” question with sincerity, even if it created some turbulence. Because his realness was so beautiful, I found the courage to be real too, even though it hurts.

He was a terribly real thing. For that I’m grateful.

You are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world. // You need someone that loves your soul more than your body. // The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want.

We’re on a constant mission to remind women everywhere that your own worth is not measured through the success of anyone else — and it’s about damn time we all started supporting each other instead of tearing each other down. In the comments below, tag a woman who inspires you — we could all use a little extra love and encouragement

I just want to have a completely adventurous, passionate, weird life.

Spend more time thinking about yourself instead of worrying about other people. Life is too short for toxic people.

To play a wrong note is insignificant;
to play without passion is inexcusable.

I just want to eat good food, make good love, travel, and surround myself with good people who get me. Happiness over everything. Anything less than that is irrelevant.


When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.

6+3 = 9 but so does 5+4. The way you do things isn’t always the only way to do them. Respect other people’s way of thinking.

There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.

How do you go back to being strangers with someone who has seen your soul?

She drinks pints of coffee and writes little observations and ideas for stories with her best fountain pen on the linen-white pages of expensive notebooks. Sometimes, when it’s going badly, she wonders if what she believes to be a love of the written word is really just a fetish for stationery.

It was very satisfying to sit there & read — And as I put down the book I sat quite a while — with eyes closed. I wished for you to be near me — You were in every word I read — you are in everything I see — & feel — & still you are not satisfied —

I belong to quick, futile moments of intense feeling. Yes, I belong to moments. Not to people.

If this is the only life, then why am I not just doing everything I want to do?

Loving someone means taking the risk that they might f*ck up your nicely ordered little life.

The reason people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go instead of how far they’ve come. You got this shit!

my grandma told me something yesterday that pretty much changed my outlook on life. we were having dinner and talking about my future, and how all of my friends seem to be doing so much better than i am, and she looked at me and said “hey, if we all had the same path in life the road would be too crowded” and i haven’t stopped thinking about that since.

I always thought it was sad
The way we act like strangers
After all that we had
We act like we had never met


You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing, and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.





I hate small talk. Let’s talk about your parents, the lies you told, how you feel, sex, what scares you.. not “wyd” every minute.

skin on skin is such a beautiful feeling

8 things to quit in 2018:
1. trying to please everyone.
2. fearing change.
3. living in the past.
4. overthinking.
5. being afraid to be different.
8. sacrificing your happiness for others.
7. thinking you’re not good enough.
8. thinking you have no purpose.





When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.

The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.

I hope you find a way to be yourself someday, in weakness or in strength, change can be amazing.

I think the scariest thing in this world is you never know someone’s true intentions with you

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

I’m always inspired by people who choose to do what is right, not what is easy.

Loyalty isn’t grey. It’s black and white. You’re either loyal completely, or not loyal at all. And people have to understand this. You can’t be loyal only when it serves you.




 Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer. 

There isn’t enough of anything
as long as we live. But at intervals
a sweetness appears and, given a chance,
prevails.

So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

I always have such need to merely talk to you. Even when I have nothing to talk about – with you I just seem to go right ahead and sort of invent it. I invent it for you. Because I never seem to run out of tenderness for you and because I need to feel you near. Excuse the bad writing and excuse the emotional overflow. What I mean to say, perhaps, is that, in a way, I am never empty of you; not for a moment, an instant, a single second.

We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken

Kogoś kto narobi mi bałaganu w moim uporządkowanym świecie.

1. kino studyjne
2. wino + koc

Ciepła, szczerości, normalności. Przyjaciela na życie, całe.

Szukam dobrej duszy, która wznosi się ponad ten cały plastikowy materializm i marzenia społeczne, nakręcone przez niedowartościowanych hedonistów.

Kogoś kto narobi mi bałaganu w moim uporządkowanym świecie.

Cenię świadomość życia, prostotę, wolność myśli, spokój ducha i aktywność ciała. 
Nie biorę udziału w wyścigu szczurów. 
Żyję swoim życiem. 

Wolę rower od samochodu, wolę Twoją duszę od Twojego ciała, wolę bogactwo bycia od bogactwa posiadania.

Dobre serce, gorszy charakter. 
Minimalista. 

Kiedyś przez przypadek odnalazłem szczęście, oddać nie oddam, ale chętnie się podzielę 🙂

If your actions don’t match, your words don’t mean anything.




What’s the worst thing I’ve stolen? Probably little pieces of other people’s lives. Where I’ve either wasted their time or hurt them in some way. That’s the worst thing you can steal, the time of other people. You just can’t get that back.


Make the present good, and the past will take care of itself.


Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.





Everything heals. your body heals. your heart heals. the mind heals. wounds heal. your soul repairs itself. your happiness is always going to come back. bad times don’t last.

 It is perfectly okay to write garbage—as long as you edit brilliantly. 

i take loyalty very seriously

No matter how many people care about you, if you can’t be open with them about who you truly are, you’re still alone.

me: I don’t have enough time
me: *stares at the carpet for 5 straight minutes thinking about how I don’t have enough time*

Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you.

Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come for miles to watch you burn

if you aren’t thinking about me you should be

today be kind, the world needs more softness and more love.

No, you do not have a thousand years to live. Urgency is on you. So while you live, while you can, become good.”

If you want 2018 to be a good year, make it a good one. It’s all about what you do, not what you expect.

It is easy to make 50 friends in 1 year, but it is difficult to make 1 friend and keep friendship for 50 years.




The less you hold on to what hurts the more room comes for what feels good.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT

If you waste your time trying to get people to love you, you’ll end up the loneliest person in this entire world.

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3. The person you would never want to meet?

4. What is your favorite word?

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

8. What do you label yourself as?

9. Bright room or dark room?

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

13. Your worst enemy?

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

16. The last song you listened to?

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

29. What is your favorite expletive?

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

34. What was your last dream about?

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

38. What is the color of your socks?

39. What type of music do you like?

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

43. Do you have any scars?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

46. Are you reliable?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

48. Do you hold grudges?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

51. Are you a good liar?

52. How long could you go without talking?

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

56. What do you like on your toast?

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

58. What would be you dream car?

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

64. What do you think about babies?

A lot of our problems would be solved immediately if we learned to talk to each other instead of talking about each other.

my mindset is changing and i just don’t want to be around certain things or people anymore

I’m not sure what I’ll do, but — well, I want to go places and see people.

 dont think anyone really understands how much compliments actually mean to me like i usually brush them off with a joke and a quick “thank you” but really i remember compliments for forever so if youve ever complimented me or done something nice for me thank you so much wow

having time vs. making time. there’s a difference.

Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.

Explain your anger, don’t express it, and you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments

I like touching your skin
even in the slightest way
fingertips to knee
I like running my fingers over you and just breathing
solely to touch you and recognize that you are real you are real you are real

A relationship is a bond not a title

Okay, we didn’t work, and all memories to tell you the truth aren’t good. But sometimes there were good times. Love was good. I loved your crooked sleep beside me and never dreamed afraid. There should be stars for great wars like ours.

I feel like we’re a heartbreaking poem, but the kind that makes them envious of the love talked about in it.

Trust the timing of your life stay patient stay calm

i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early

Don’t be afraid of losing people, be afraid of losing yourself trying not to lose someone else.

i take loyalty very seriously

I know my worth. That’s why I let certain people stay out of my life.

Art is not what you see, but what you make others see





People only tell lies when there is something they are terribly frightened of losing.




which jungles have wi fi so i can move there and start my tribe

Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light.

 I went for years not finishing anything. Because, of course, when you finish something you can be judged. 

Happiness is not handed to us on a silver platter. Happiness is something that we ourselves must be able to manifest all on our own, regardless of what else life gives to us.

I don’t have a type. If we vibe, we vibe.

If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.

friendships that fluctuate between really stupid weird flippant jokes and earnest vulnerability and deep affection make life so much richer

People never learn anything by being told. They have to find out for themselves.


If you’re gonna bail, bail early. This applies to relationships, college classes, and sledding,


Sexy isn’t always about boobs or butts. It’s the way you walk, the way you talk, and the way you think.

What’s your #1 sexual fantasy?
Somebody just throwing a million dollars on to my naked body and then leaving.

i love blurry photographs of people on adventures because someone wanted to record the moment but they were having too much fun to take a good photograph.

For me, one of the most attractive things is effort. When someone wants to see you, when someone wants to talk to you, when someone wants to play a role in your life. There’s effort in everything of that

Cities are full of inspiring designers, makers, shopkeepers, chefs and entrepreneurs – each making or doing beautiful things. I love bringing you a collection of snapshots and stories about inspiring people and places, as well as life, style and beauty moments. I hope you’ll be inspired by what you see – to discover the beauty in your city, your wardrobe or your home

After five fabulous days, I find myself spending the last taking in the perfectly blue water Cancun is known for, admiring its picturesque coastline dotted with resorts and people. I find myself making plans to return soon to visit Tulum. That night at dinner, our waiter Isaac prompts me to take out my camera. On one side of the beach, a brief downpour starts. On the other a colourful sky, with a beautiful sunset. It’s paradise. 

As two bloggers who are constantly scheduling shoots at new restaurants, shops and the like, we’re not used to slowing down. This trip is different. The agenda is refreshingly loose. Now, I’ve been to Mexico a handful of times. As a child, my family travelled to tropical destinations once a year to escape our cold Canadian winter. Since then, I’ve considered myself more of a city person. But when Expedia suggested I spend a week at Secrets the Vine Cancun, I couldn’t resist soaking in sun and spending some time simply unwinding.

BEAUX MONDES IS A CELEBRATION ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN THIS WORLD. WHETHER HERE IN HAMILTON OR EXPLORING OTHER CITIES, I LOVE CAPTURING BEAUTY IN UNEXPECTED PLACES ALONG THE WAY.

Stephanie is a marketing and digital content strategist, photographer and the founder of Beaux Mondes. She is also currently Chair for CLiC, the Art Gallery of Hamilton’s creative collective. After navigating the online world with Flare and FASHION Magazine back in 2008, she fell in love with blogging and launched the lifestyle blog Beaux Mondes soon after.

Stephanie believes that ideas move cities forward, and loves collaborating on arts, cultural and creative initiatives with inspiring city builders. She volunteers her time on advisory boards including hpoGO at the Hamilton Philarmonic Orchestra, Hamilton HIVE and Tourism Hamilton.

Stephanie has a penchant for Pusha T, Céline and all gold everything.

She splits her time between a modern flat in Toronto and a charming century home in downtown Hamilton.

Cenię świadomość życia, prostotę, wolność myśli, spokój ducha i aktywność ciała. 
Nie biorę udziału w wyścigu szczurów. Żyję swoim życiem.
Wolę rower od samochodu, wolę Twoją duszę od Twojego ciała, wolę bogactwo bycia od bogactwa posiadania.

Dobre serce, gorszy charakter. 
Minimalista. 

Kiedyś przez przypadek odnalazłem szczęście, oddać nie oddam, ale chętnie się podzielę 🙂

I want someone who takes me as I am. Someone who can realize how I feel just from the slightest look at me.
Someone who admires me for the way I use to live my life and confirms my resolutions. I want someone who calls my laugh as contagious as a spreading fire and even laughs at my baddest jokes.
I want someone I can show the lyrics of my favorite songs to while laying in bed on a rainy Sunday. Someone I can confide my greatest hopes and deepest fears to.

I want someone who encourages me when I’m afraid of facing a new path.
Someone I can call in the middle of the night and tell what’s haunting me in my dreams. Someone who embraces and protects me when the world seems to be a cruel and unpredictable place.

It’s much easier to think someone’s the answer if you haven’t seen them for years. because they’re not really real.
people can’t be answers.
they’re just more questions.


humanity did a lot of things wrong but at least we got libraries, museums, and coffee shops right

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once

in the end i learned that the only person that can make you feel whole, complete and full is yourself.

Ciepła, szczerości, normalności. Przyjaciela na życie, całe.

Szukam dobrej duszy, która wznosi się ponad ten cały plastikowy materializm i marzenia społeczne, nakręcone przez niedowartościowanych hedonistów.

Cenię świadomość życia, prostotę, wolność myśli, spokój ducha i aktywność ciała. 
Nie biorę udziału w wyścigu szczurów. Żyję swoim życiem.
Dobre serce, gorszy charakter. Minimalista. 
3/10

https://www.instagram.com/beauxmondes/

https://www.instagram.com/patrycjadobek/
https://www.instagram.com/minimedge/

Misattributed Alice in Wonderland / Lewis Carroll quotes

1 March 2018

Pretty images and merchandise with quotes attributed to Lewis Carroll or the Alice in Wonderland books are popping up everywhere nowadays. Unfortunately, many of these quotes are misattributed: they are not from the ‘Alice’ books, nor from their author. Please don’t spread the misconception!

The internet is a blessing, but it also has a downside: funny, entertaining, motivational or spiritual quotes are shared with the speed of light, without anyone checking the reliability of the source.

People with commercial goals in mind, profit from this. They create merchandise with these quotes in the hopes that you buy them. Or they create nice looking images with quotes and post them on their social media page, hoping to get a lot of likes and shares, so their page becomes more valuable to advertisers.

There’s nothing wrong with the quote in itself – the problem is that it is being misattributed. Which causes many people to have a wrong idea about Lewis Carroll and his books.

Combining quotes with Alice in Wonderland illustrations

A very common practice is combining a random quote with an illustration from “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” or “Through the Looking Glass and what Alice found there”. This leads people to assume that the lines can be found in the original story, while they are in fact not from the ‘Alice’ books at all.

Sellers of this kind of merchandise call this ‘artistic licence’. And there indeed is no law that prohibits them from combining quotes and images from different sources. That is, as long as they are not copyright protected.

As imagery from Disney’s live action “Alice in Wonderland” movie (2010) or “Through the Looking Glass” (2016) is under copyright, while Tenniel’s illustrations aren’t, I can imagine why Tenniel’s illustrations are often combined with movie quotes: so the sellers can piggyback on the success of the movies and make money in a legal way. Please don’t support this!

Unfortunately, already several quotes from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland / Through the Looking Glass movies are being thought to originate from Lewis Carroll’s ‘Alice’ books. Movie quotes that are commonly confused for book quotes are amongst others:

 “Have I gone mad?” “I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”
(Burton’s 2010 ‘Alice in Wonderland’)

“You used to be much more…muchier. You’ve lost your muchness.”
(Burton’s 2010 ‘Alice in Wonderland’)

“Do you suppose she’s a wildflower?”
(Disney’s 1951 ‘Alice in Wonderland’ cartoon)

I have no idea where this quote comes from (do you?), but I assume it is also from one of Disney’s live action ‘Alice’ movies:

“The secret, Alice, is to surround yourself with people who make your heart smile. It’s then, only then, that you’ll find Wonderland”

There are also quotes from the computer game ‘American McGee’s Alice’ that are well-known, but not from the original story, like:

“Every adventure requires a first step.”
(The Cheshire Cat in American McGee’s Alice)

Or from a TV series with a Wonderland character:

“You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution for their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic.”
(Jefferson/’Hatter’ in the TV series “Once Upon A Time”)

Confusing the author of the quote

Besides merely suggesting a relation between a quote and a book, I’ve also seen many beautiful quotes specifically being attributed to Lewis Carroll. However, most of these quotes are merely in the style of his ‘Alice’ books, but were never actually uttered or written down by him. These quotes are from someone else; sometimes from another famous person, but more often from an anonymous author.

Below are some examples of quotes wrongfully attributed to Lewis Carroll:

Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.
(Jules de Gaultier)

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.
(from unknown)

Actually, the best gift you could have given her was a lifetime of adventures…
(from unknown)

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.”
(Emilie Autumn’s novel “The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls”)

“But, said Alice, if the world has absolutely no sense, who’s stopping us from inventing one?”
(from unknown)

“One of the secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others.”
(also attributed to Levi Strauss on the web, but I don’t know if that’s true)

Also, there are quotes that are being wrongfully attributed to a character he created, while it never said this – not in a book, nor in a movie:

I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.
(misattributed to the Cheshire Cat; source unknown)

“How long is forever?”
“Sometimes, just one second.”
(misattributed to the White Rabbit; source unknown)

When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.
(misattributed to Alice; source unknown)

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.
(misattributed to the White Rabbit; source unknown)

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.
(Misattributed to the Mad Hatter or other characters. It may be derived from the line “The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you” from Neil deGrasse Tyson’s book “Astrophysics for People in a Hurry”.)

There are actually complete conversations made up by anonymous people, probably as fan fiction, that are being presented as fragments from Carroll’s books – but aren’t. Like this one:

“Do you love me?” Alice asked.

“No, I don’t love you!” replied the White Rabbit.

Alice frowned and clasped her hands together as she did whenever she felt hurt.

“See?” replied the White Rabbit. “Now you’re going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can’t love you at least a little. You know, that’s why I can’t love you. You will not always be loved Alice, there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life, will have their heads in the clouds, and will hurt you. Because people are like that, they somehow always end up hurting each other’s feelings, whether through carelessness, misunderstanding, or conflicts with themselves. If you don’t love yourself, at least a little, if you don’t create an armor of self-love and happiness around your heart, the feeble annoyances caused by others will become lethal and will destroy you. The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: ‘I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself.’”

Almost, but not quite

Finaly, there are quotes that are quite similar to lines from the ‘Alice’ books, but are not exact quotes. It is understandable that they are easily confused. A very well-known example is:

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.

This resembles the conversation Alice has with the Cheshire Cat (“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” / “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. / “I don’t much care where–” said Alice. / “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. / “–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation. / “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”), but is actually a line from George Harrison’s song “Any Road”.

Another example is:

The Mad Hatter: “Would you like some wine?”
Alice: “Yes…”
The Mad Hatter: “We haven’t any and you’re too young.”

The actual conversation in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is: “Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. / Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. “I don’t see any wine,” she remarked. / “There isn’t any,” said the March Hare. / “Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily. / “It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,” said the March Hare.

It is a shame that this is happening, because the Alice books are full of other great quotes! You can find some actual Alice in Wonderland quotes on my site.

If you are unsure whether a quote is from Lewis Carroll, you can use this search to locate it in my online version of his ‘Alice’ books. It may also be in one of his other works, like The Hunting of the Snark, or Sylvie and Bruno, or one of his letters. If you suspect the quote may be from a Disney movie, you can search the script of the Alice in Wonderland 1951 cartoon movie, the script of the Alice in Wonderland 2010 live action movie, or the script of the Through the Looking Glass 2016 live action movie.

Do you have any idea who the real author of one or more of the quotes listed here is? Or do you know of more quotes that are often misattributed to the Alice books or Lewis Carroll? Post them in the comments and help spread awareness!

Vibrating with the Universe: Terribly Real

  
  “You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe is why you’re in so much pain.”

   She stared at him as the words washed over her and she did not know what to say. Her mind raced at why he was standing here, why he was talking to her, and why she even mattered today of all days.
She was leaving, on her way out and ready to start a new chapter of her life and here he was spouting deep thoughts at her.

  “Your pain is evident in your writing little one.” he said softly as he stepped closer.
Her heart about stopped at his nearness and she itched to touch him. To feel his skin under her fingertips once again. But she held fast, her green gaze locked to his brown.

“Your pain is evident even now in your gorgeous eyes.” He whispered and then his fingertips did slide over her jawline.
She could not breathe. It was as if the desire sucked away every ounce of oxygen in her body and she felt light headed.

“Now you are leaving…..again. Leaving me again.” his words were so softly spoken she almost asked him to repeat but instead she said.

“I can never leave you for you are forever in my heart and soul.” her words, so softly spoken, visibly hit him.
His movement ceased, his eyes darkened with that desire she always wanted to see again.
then without warning his lips crashed down to hers like a storm.
She was swept away in the tumultuous waves of pleasure.
Her arms snaked around him to find his hair and soon they were pressed to one another as they stood in the cool fall evening.

He broke the kiss, leaning back to stare down into her eyes.

“No more pain. I know we can’t start over but let’s do things different this time.” he said still staring down at her.

“Different so we get a better outcome.” her arms still around him she just gazed into his eyes, melting all over.

“So we get the best outcome.” he said smiling and tugged her close once again.

She sighed happily, tentatively hoping this could be something grand.

4 quotes that you have been terribly misquoting. | by Josiah Ross

Words of wisdom passed down in short phrases is a tradition that has been around as long as language itself. The problem with this sometimes, is that the meanings of different phrases get switched around, losing the original meaning. Often times, the phrases we use have the exact opposite meaning than we think it does. Here are 4 phrases that have been terribly misquoted.

Blood is thicker than water

Blood is thicker than water is a phrase that we use to justify choosing family bonds over the bonds that we have made by choice.

“I know that your friends have been planning this day for weeks but it’s your cousin’s birthday. Blood is thicker than water.”

Blood is thicker than water?

The actual saying is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. The meaning of this saying is actually the opposite of the way we use it. The saying actually means that bonds that you’ve made by choice are more important than the people that you are bound to by the water of the womb. The saying reflects the fact that the bonds you choose for yourself can mean much more than the ones you don’t have much say in.

Money is the root of all evil

We use this phrase to discourage people from loving money. We often say money is the root of all evil when people that are very wealthy get caught up in their money instead of the other great aspects of life. This is also used to represent how people who are very wealthy are too greedy, which causes wicked actions.

The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil

The original saying is another biblical one stemming from 1 Timothy 6:10. It says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” The real phrases warns believers(and people in general) not to be greedy, because the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. I stress that the verse says all kinds of evil because it is illogical to think that money is the root of all evil, especially when other roots of evil are present everywhere we look.

Curiosity killed the cat

We use the phrase curiosity killed the cat to discourage people from being overly curious, especially if they’re curious about other people’s business. This phrase is commonly used when people are gossiping. It is used to warn people of the dangers of unnecessary investigation. This is why many children hear this phrase, as little kids usually ask way too many questions.

The real saying is “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.” Again, the meaning of this phrase is actually the exact opposite of what people believe it to mean. The actual phrase encourages people to be curious, especially when it comes to learning new skills, and ideas. Whereas the first half of the phrase warns of asking too many questions, the second half suggests that there is no such thing as too many questions.

Great minds think alike

This expression is used when you find out that someone else is thinking the exact same thing that you were thinking. This expression is used to suggest that both of the people are very intelligent because they are thinking the same thing.

Great minds think alike, though fools seldom differ

The original saying is as follows “Great minds think alike, though fools seldom differ.” Unlike the other sayings, this phrase isn’t used to teach a lesson, rather it is a humorous expression. The second half of the expression, “fools seldom differ.” suggests that the people that came to the same conclusion aren’t so smart after all.

Stephen King’s Bad Guys Are Terribly Real

Have  you noticed how unnerving some of King’s killers are?  It’s because they seem all too real.  That’s because, I think, King often bases them on real people.  There was a real Annie Wilkes and a real Mr. Mercedes.

salon.com posted an interesting article  titled, ““Mr. Mercedes”: How Stephen King’s killers mirror real-life murderers.”

Mike Berry notes that the timing for Mr. Mercedes could not be less propitious, and reminds us in a side note that Black House arrived in stores September 11, 2001.  I didn’t know that.

The novel’s publication date comes a little more than a week after Elliot Rodger stabbed three people to death in his apartment near UC Santa Barbara, killed three others in drive-by shootings, ran down pedestrians in his BMW and then fatally shot himself with his own gun. In the wake of the Isla Vista tragedy, this straight-ahead thriller now makes for uncomfortable reading, in a way Mr. King undoubtedly did not intend.

Of course, King gives  us two types of  bad guys.   There’s  the Randall Flagg naughty boy;  he’s the devil  and he’ll do as he likes.  And then there is the more creepy real life murders

The scary thing about Mr. Mercedes is that he could be — anyone.  Thus Mike Berry notes Hartfield starts off as one of King’s “least interesting villains.”  He reminds me of Norman Bates; only, Psycho was scarier.  Norman was scarier.  It might be the difference in media (print verses movie, Hitch verses  King.)  But what both characters emphasize is that we never really know what’s going on inside someone elses head.  And that’s scary.

What Berry keenly  notes is that Hartfield didn’t “snap.” And most killers really don’t.  They plan, plot  and  think over their crimes.  They relish messing with the police and reliving their crimes.

Here are some easily overlooked villains in the Stephen King canon: 

1. Jo St. George.  A child molester, wife beater and thief, it seems ole Joe doesn’t get his due in the Stephen King universe.  His wife, Dolores finished  him off in what can only be described as a brilliant execution.  I loved it!  In fact, I think Dolores Claiborne might be one of those overlooked gems that Stephen King has churned out.  And though the focus of the novel is on Dolores, Jo is one mean  dude and the reader sympathizes with Dolores’ vigilante style  of justice.

Let me tell you, as creepy as Mr. Mercede’s is — and as sick as his relationship with his mommy is — he doesn’t molest little kids.  Driving cars into crowds is very, very bad.  But there is something that so deeply crosses the line with child  molestation that it stands on its own in terms of wickedness.  Allow me to go a bit preacher on this one.  Jesus said it would be better to have a millstone hung around your neck and thrown into the ocean  than to have to stand before him on Judgment day and have to answer to harming a child.  In other words, God has a special  place in hell — literally — for that kind of wickedness.

2. In 11.22.63, King gave us a real life killer, Lee Harvey Oswald.  By mixing fictional characters with historical, King offered a strange blend of realism. Oswald wasn’t a passing character in the book, but someone we followed at some length, getting to know and to some degree understand. Yeah, he was creepy.

3. Charlie Decker, a high school student in the Bachman novel, Rage, holds his classroom hostage  and has a long talk-session with them.  The novel is tense as the reader is left wondering if these students are going to make it out alive.  And, the book  is scarier now than when it was written, since it’s actually been connected directly to several  schools shootings.

That ever helpful source, Wikipedia,  gives these examples of real life school  shootings that were in some way connected to or supposedly inspired by rage:

• Jeffrey Lyne Cox, a senior at San Gabriel High School in San Gabriel, California, took a semi-automatic rifle to school on April 26, 1988 and held a humanities class of about 60 students hostage for over 30 minutes. Cox held the gun to one student when the teacher doubted he would cause harm and stated that he would prove it to her. At that time three students escaped out a rear door and were fired upon. Cox was later tackled and disarmed by another student. A friend of Cox told the press that Cox had been inspired by the Kuwait Airways Flight 422 hijacking and by the novel Rage, which Cox had read over and over again and with which he strongly identified.

• Dustin L. Pierce, a senior at Jackson County High School in McKee, Kentucky, armed himself with a shotgun and two handguns and took a history classroom hostage in a nine-hour standoff with police on September 18, 1989 that ended without injury. Police found a copy of Rage among the possessions in Pierce’s bedroom, leading to speculation that he had been inspired to carry out the plot of the novel.

• Barry Loukaitis, a student at Frontier Middle School in Moses Lake, Washington, walked from his house to the school on February 2, 1996, and entered his algebra classroom during fifth period. He opened fire at students, killing two and wounding another. He then fatally shot his algebra teacher, Leona Caires, in the chest. As his classmates began to panic, Loukaitis reportedly said, “This sure beats algebra, doesn’t it?” — a line erroneously believed to be taken from Rage. (No such line appears in King’s story. The closest is when Charlie Decker quips, “This sure beats panty raids.”) Hearing the gunshots, gym coach Jon Lane entered the classroom. Loukaitis was holding his classmates hostage and planned to use one hostage so he could safely exit the school. Lane volunteered as the hostage, and Loukaitis was keeping Lane at gunpoint with his rifle. Lane then grabbed the weapon from Loukaitis and wrestled him to the ground, then assisted the evacuation of students.

• In December 1997 Michael Carneal shot eight fellow students at a prayer meeting in West Paducah, Kentucky. He had a copy of the book within the Richard Bachman omnibus in his locker. This was the incident that moved King to allow the book to go out of print.

SOURCE: wikipedia.org/wiki/Rage

Berry raises the concern  that Rage  can be misunderstood as celebrating the violence it actually condemns.  Comparing Rage to Mercedes, Berry writes,

[Rage] was written by a young author not fully in control of the tools of his craft. “Mr. Mercedes” is the product of an old hand, an accomplished writer of popular fiction who generally knows what he’s doing. There’s really no need to fret that the book might inspire further mayhem.

4. The Needful Thing’s cast.  Leeland Gaunt is supposed to be the devil himself.  He’s one bad  dude.  But he’s not the scary part of Needful Things.  The town-folk are!  Willing to cut each other up in the street, slay dogs and burn their town right  to the ground, the last novel of Castle Rock was a dozy!  It is long, but it’s also under-appreciated.  King really shows how the devil  works, getting us to take one small step into sin and finding that soon we are willing to do things we never thought was in our own character.

Berry misses his opportunity to really dig deeper into Hartfield’s psychology.  It does seem to be what the article promised.  Instead, Berry gives us as much a review of the book itself as a deeper look at Brady Hartfield.  He declares that the novel ranks in the “middle” of King’s work in terms of quality.  And where  would that be?

nowhere near the pinnacle of “The Shining” but well away from the abyss of, say, “Dreamcatcher.” 

Humm.  I liked The Shining a lot.  But I’m not sure it was the “pinnacle.”  It’s brilliant, absolutely brilliant, and yes — Mr. Mercede’s isn’t The Shining.  But it’s not King’s absolute  best.  Disagree with me?  It might be a while since you’ve actually read the book.  The  novel is very closed  in, which is both creepy and at point tedious.  I like sprawling novels like The Stand, and, believe it or not, Doctor Sleep.

And as for  Dreamcatcher, which Berry put at the bottom of the pile; I enjoyed it!  Well, for a while.  It’s both crazy and engaging.  Stick with the book, not the movie on this one.  Is it a masterpiece?  No.  But it’s fun.

Causes, Symptoms, and Tips to Help

Ah, the joys of summer: The withering heat and school vacations, when your kids give you minute-to-minute updates on their boredom levels. Isn’t summer supposed to be fun and relaxing? If you’ve got summer depression, it isn’t.

For some people, summer depression has a biological cause, says Ian A. Cook, MD, the director of the Depression Research Program at UCLA. For others, the particular stresses of summer can pile up and make them feel miserable.

Especially hard is that you feel like you’re supposed to be having a great time. Everyone else seems so happy splashing in the water and sweating in their lawn chairs. So why can’t you? And more importantly, what can you do to make this summer easier? Here’s what you need to know about summer depression.

Understanding Summer Depression

Why do some people feel more depressed in summer? Here’s a rundown of reasons.

• Summertime SAD. You’ve probably heard about seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, which affects about 4% to 6% of the U.S. population. SAD typically causes depression as the days get shorter and colder. But about 10% of people with SAD get it in the reverse — the onset of summer triggers their depression symptoms. Cook notes that some studies have shown that in countries near the equator – such as India – summer SAD is more common than winter SAD. Why do seasonal changes cause depression? Experts aren’t sure, but the longer days, and increasing heat and humidity may play a role. Specific symptoms of summer depression often include loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, weight loss, and anxiety.
• Disrupted schedules in summer. If you’ve had depression before, you probably know that having a reliable routine is often key to staving off symptoms. But during the summer, routine goes out the window – and that disruption can be stressful, Cook says. If you have children in grade school, you’re suddenly faced with the prospect of keeping them occupied all day, every day. If your kids are in college, you may suddenly find them – and all their boxes of stuff – back in the house after a nine-month absence. Vacations can disrupt your work, sleep, and eating habits – all of which can all contribute to summer depression.
• Body image issues. As the temperature climbs and the layers of clothing fall away, a lot of people feel terribly self-conscious about their bodies, says Cook. Feeling embarrassed in shorts or a bathing suit can make life awkward, not to mention hot. Since so many summertime gatherings revolve around beaches and pools, some people start avoiding social situations out of embarrassment.
• Financial worries. Summers can be expensive. There’s the vacation, of course. And if you’re a working parent, you may have to fork over a lot of money to summer camps or babysitters to keep your kids occupied while you’re on the job. The expenses can add to a feeling of summer depression.
  “This summer, we have worries about the economic crisis layered on top of everything else,” says Cook. “People are feeling more financially strapped. They’re wondering, ‘If I go on vacation, will the job still be there when I get back?’”
• The heat. Lots of people relish the sweltering heat. They love baking on a beach all day. But for the people who don’t, summer heat can become truly oppressive. You may start spending every weekend hiding out in your air-conditioned bedroom, watching Pay-Per-View until your eyes ache. You may begin to skip your usual before-dinner walks because of the humidity. You may rely on unhealthy takeout because it’s just too stifling to cook. Any of these things can contribute to summer depression.

Tips for Coping With Summer Depression

What can help you feel better? What can you do to make this summer different? Here are some tips on taking control of summer depression.

• Get help. It’s simple. If you think you’re getting depressed, no matter what time of year, get help. Talk to a therapist, like a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker. Or see your general medical doctor or a psychiatrist who can evaluate whether medicines for depression might be appropriate. Never take the signs of depression lightly. Don’t wait them out, assuming they’ll resolve. Sometimes, what started as summer depression can turn into a longer-lasting bout of major depression, Cook tells WebMD.
  And even if your depression will resolve in September, that’s no reason to ignore it in June. We’re talking about three months of potentially avoidable misery. “A temporary depression can still be pretty awful,” says Cook. While the symptoms lift in a few months, the impact on your family and job can be permanent.
• Plan ahead. Cook says there’s one advantage to a summer depression: you know when it’s coming. June is right there on the calendar. So if you’re feeling OK in the spring, think about the specific aspects of your life that become difficult during the summer. What will help prevent summer depression? What’s the best way to take time off from work? Would signing up the kids for summer programs or camp help relieve your stress? You’ll feel a lot more in control heading into the summer if you have plans in place.
• Sleep. Vacations, summer barbecues, the short nights – they can all encourage you to stay up later than usual. But not getting enough sleep is a common trigger for depression. So make a concerted effort to get to bed on time.
• Keep up with your exercise. Many studies have found that regular physical activity can help keep depression at bay. So even if it’s getting too hot for your normal activities, find other ways to stay active and head off summer depression. Start earlier in the morning or later in the evening, when it’s not so hot. Consider fitness equipment for the cool basement. If an annual membership to a gym is too expensive, consider joining one for a couple of months just to get you through the summer.
• Don’t overdo dieting and fitness. Don’t kick off the summer with a frenzy of dieting and exercise in order to fit into last year’s bathing suit. It’s bound to make you unhappy and anxious. Instead, exercise sensibly and eat moderately. If you try an insanely restrictive diet, you probably won’t be able to keep it up. And that “failure” will just leave you more demoralized and worsen your summer depression.
• Protect yourself. Don’t let obligations drag you down. Maybe you always host the enormous family barbecue on Memorial Day or the July 4 picnic. But if you’re feeling overwhelmed, give it a pass this year. Ask another relative to host. Don’t risk pushing yourself into a summer depression just to live up to tradition.
• Think about why. If you struggle with summer depression year after year, ask yourself if there’s a reason. Do you associate summer with a difficult time in the past – the death of a loved one or the break-up of a relationship? Have you had previous bouts of depression during the summer? Without even realizing it, you may have started to associate the summer with sadness – an association that gets stronger every summer that you spend depressed. If you do have some unhappy connection with the summer, sorting it out could help you break the cycle.
• Talk to your doctor about adjusting your medication. If you’re on medicine for depression, and you find that summer – year after year – makes your depression worse, talk to your doctor about changing your dosage. Maybe they could up your dose in the late spring and taper it back down in the fall. It could really help head off summer depression problems, Cook says.
• Plan your vacation carefully. Before you book your plane tickets or load up your car’s roof rack for your annual summer vacation, ask yourself this: Is this what you really want? Or is it an obligation you’re fulfilling to a relative? Will it make you happy? Or will it stretch your finances, stress you out, and make you fall behind at work? Consider alternatives. Instead of taking a whole week off at once, might it be better to take off several long weekends spread out through the summer? Would taking time off but staying at home – a “staycation” – be more relaxing? Don’t get locked into a vacation that won’t feel like a vacation.
• Don’t beat yourself up. One thing that’s hard about summer depression is that you feel so out of step. Everyone else seems to be having such a swell time. You aren’t. You keep asking yourself, “What’s wrong with me?”
  Try not to think that way. “So much of our misery grows out of the gap between where we are and where we think we ought to be,” says Cook. So stop worrying about how you feel relative to other people. Stop assuming that you’re supposed to be happy just because the calendar says it’s June. Instead, concentrate on what’s triggering your summer depression and how you can overcome it.
  “Treatments do work,” says Cook. “Psychotherapy or medication can blunt the effects of a seasonal depression. Summers really don’t have to be so bad.”

90,000 “We were taught not to whine”: how to accept and overcome depression

December 6, 2017

To view this content, you need to enable JavaScript or use another browser

Video caption,

Awkward questions: what does it mean to live with depression?

Many people live in a state of depression for years and are unaware of it. Everyone has an autumn blues, bad days, self-doubt, but depression is not just a bad mood.

In modern society, this is one of the most common mental disorders, in the worst cases ending in premature death. According to the latest WHO estimates, depression affects more than 300 million people worldwide.

The BBC Russian Service spoke with people who have experienced depression, about stereotypes and myths associated with it, as well as how to overcome this disease.

Photo caption,

Sasha Mashin was diagnosed with clinical depression, he managed to fully rehabilitate in a year.Yana Mandrykina defeated depression within a year

Stereotypes about depression

“Depression does not exist. It was invented by psychotherapists to make money.” really use depression to make money. They increase the number of sessions, make them come twice a week, supposedly one session is not enough. But there are also decent people, they really understand your problem, because very often they themselves went through depression before becoming a psychotherapist.As with any profession, there are charlatans among psychotherapists and psychiatrists.

Irina Urnova: I had a psychotherapist who began to do what should not be done. He began to belittle my problems, saying that my problem is not a problem. We stopped dating.

“This is a disease of egoists”

Sasha Mashin: Rather, it is a disease of perfectionists. It often happens with those people who are trying to achieve a cool result in any kind of activity.

Kirill Cheremisov: I know many egoists who do not get sick. On the contrary, during depression you do not love yourself, but in order to be cured, you need to love. One of the points of psychotherapy, psychoanalysis and other techniques is to develop self-love.

Photo caption,

Anastasia Tropp (left) had several periods of depression, the longest lasting a year and a half. Zhenya Golomuz (right) was in clinical depression for almost two years, and for three years she came out

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.Do something useful! “

Zhenya Golomuz: I am doing something useful all the time, I am constantly helping people.

Kirill Cheremisov: We were taught not to whine. This is weakness. You need to be strong. Boys should not cry. You need to feel sorry for yourself. This is normal. Why not?

Kristina Butaeva: I have to admit it.Yes, I really feel sorry for myself at the moment. Why should I stop doing this?

Sasha Machin: Imagine that you have broken your leg. And you say to yourself: dude, pull yourself together, you’re not a rag. A real man. Depression is not laziness in you says. This is a disease that requires professional treatment.

Yana Mandrykina: By the way, I broke my leg this year. It would be weird if I didn’t call an ambulance.

Vera Kornakova: I would like to be sorry, but you cannot accept this concern for yourself.

Irina Urnova: And this concern is never enough. She is annoying. It’s not that.

Photo caption,

Vera Kornakova (left) experienced depression twice, of which one was in the hospital. Irina Urnova (right) has borderline personality disorder

“You’ve become so boring, you don’t go anywhere!”

Zhenya Golomuz: You need to be able to explain depression to people, because it seems to them that nothing is visible, nothing hurts, which means that you are all right.And why are you even lying on the bed again? The concert is great, let’s go have a drink.

Irina Urnova: I had friends and acquaintances who said: “You are dragging me to the bottom with you.” Perhaps it was, it was hard for them, but it does not help. To friends of those with depression, I would advise you to either help or move away altogether.

“Stop pretending. You have to pull yourself together!”

Zhenya Golomuz: Stop pretending – this is the worst thing that can be said, because at some point it began to seem to me that maybe I was actually pretending? Am I really a lazy pig?

Kristina Butaeva: These phrases devalue a person’s feelings.Wait, I just wanted to tell you that I am really weak at this moment. Why don’t you want to admit it? The phrase “be strong” makes you weaker in a state of depression. Outside you cannot confess, but inside you are helpless. Such phrases are driven.

Kirill Cheremisov: Of course, they are being driven. They make it even weaker, as if they say: you should be ashamed. These are all models of behavior imposed by society that make it difficult to understand their condition.

Sasha Mashin: Chemistry in the head is changing – some substances have become less, others have become more.You can no longer help yourself. One needs to change this chemistry by consulting a doctor. It is impossible to take oneself in hand. There is no chance for this.

Vera Kornakova: Many people think that you are pretending, but this is from a misunderstanding of what is happening. The degree of empathy in a person is not such as to feel what is wrong with you.

Photo caption,

Kristina Butaeva coped with depression thanks to her work with a specialist. Kirill Cheremisov managed to cope with depression in a year

“This is weakness, be strong! There are people who are much worse”

Zhenya Golomuz: I had my first episode of depression when I was 14 years old.I came home and said: I have depression. My parents say to me: Zhen, is she completely crazy? Read “Robinson Crusoe”, he was much worse. He was generally alone, but you have everything: an apartment, a classroom school, English from morning to evening. Depression is definitely not for weaklings, because to admit that you have depression, you have to be super strong.

Kristina Butaeva: At the very beginning, it was embarrassing to whine, embarrassed to admit to myself. After all, life goes on around. And I would like to say: but I am sad now.But you are so expected to smile when you go somewhere or participate in a party. You have to correspond, and there is a great disharmony in this. For the first time, I could only cry with a specialist. Finally I was able to say: I feel bad, yes!

Kirill Cheremisov: Yes, there are hungry children in Angola, and this factor should work, but it does not work.

Anastasia Tropp: Many of my friends are still not aware that I was depressed. For some reason I was so ashamed to say that I was in this state to my friends.I was embarrassed to dump my problems on them. When they found out, they made round eyes and said that I had invented something.

Living with depression: personal experience

How does it happen?

Zhenya Golomuz: You stop going to work, then you stop leaving the room, getting out of bed, then you stop rolling over, then you just look at the pillow. Friends say: “Zhen, you could write that it is bad.” But I couldn’t, because communication takes a lot of effort and energy, it’s really hard to do.

Kirill Cheremisov: Constant physical fatigue and emotional exhaustion. In the morning you wake up, having slept enough, but you are overwhelmed and do not want anything. In the evening you come home from work barely alive. The only thing you want is to turn off the light, lie down on the sofa and turn off the phone.

Kristina Butaeva: Feeling of the bottom. A wide black streak in life. Several times I caught myself thinking that it couldn’t be worse. But it gets worse. Then I admitted to myself that I could not fight anymore.Fatigue from the struggle was overwhelming.

Yana Mandrykina: You go, cry in the car and do not understand the reason. The state was such that now I would crash somewhere and that’s it. And I also worked all the time, about 24 hours a day. Sometimes I slept a little.

Irina Urnova: There is not much sense in life. There is no need to get up in the morning, there is no need to go to bed earlier or later. There is no need to invent, do something, set any goals.

Vera Kornakova: An infinitely long sleep that does not bring comfort.Pain that cannot be relieved by pain relievers. And panic attacks.

Sasha Mashin: I had a concert, and I could not understand what to do, what to play. Everything goes out of focus, you cannot concentrate on anything. The feeling that something is wrong becomes more acute. I did not have the strength for any manifestation of feelings. Cry? No strength to cry. You make a lot of claims against yourself. Emptiness occurs. It’s as if your brain was turned off by a switch. It takes a very long time to admit that something is wrong with you.This is exactly the problem – why people don’t seek help. They think: well, something is wrong with the mood, somehow things are not going well.

What’s the worst thing about depression?

Zhenya Golomuz: I don’t know. What’s scarier than you just can’t get up?

Kristina Butaeva: Expectation from people. I think my depression dragged on because I honestly believed that help should come from outside. Well, they will now see how bad I am. I have a creeping line on my forehead.

Kirill Cheremisov: Despair and start thinking that you can’t get out of this state.

Yana Mandrykina: Stop appreciating life.

Sasha Mashin: During clinical depression, a large number of people come to the idea that parting with life is perhaps the only way to end the suffering you are experiencing. And the suffering is intense. At times you feel an ax sticking out in your chest, a tearing sensation. And you are ready to do anything to make this feeling end.Perhaps that is why they think that the soul is in the chest. The worst thing is not to know what is happening to you.

Anastasia Tropp: Probably when your call for help will be answered with mockery or a frivolous attitude. If you need a person, and a person distances themselves, it is very difficult. Can drive into some kind of loop.

Antidepressants

Zhenya Golomuz: This is horror, horror, horror! Because you become a little vegetable, but at the same time a functioning vegetable.If you have to get up because they stopped paying salaries and it’s time to earn some money, then antidepressants are the very thing to go public. I do not recommend it on a regular basis, because you stop getting any pleasures from life, but at least you exist with them.

Yana Mandrykina: In Russia, this is just some kind of barrier. I also had it, because it is generally accepted that if you started drinking antidepressants, then finally a cuckoo. In fact, the right antidepressant medications bring people back to normal.What is the difference – weak or strong? Happy! Or you live in horror. This is some kind of Soviet stereotype, like “guys don’t cry.”

Sasha Mashin: If you are thinking about a window or a chandelier, then this is absolutely the situation when you need to take antidepressants. But you do not need to prescribe medicine for yourself, the doctor should do it.

Irina Urnova: I have heard the statement that any fool can take a pill more than once. People are afraid to eat pills and there is a resource that cannot be replenished simply by rest, it must be replenished at the chemical level.

To view this content, you need JavaScript enabled or use another browser

Video caption,

Paints against depression: how makeup helped restore faith in yourself

Can depression be cured?

Kirill Cheremisov: According to statistics, people who seek treatment for depression, 80-90% of them are cured. There are many techniques, great statistics. In my opinion, the most effective is psychoanalysis and cognitive therapy.If this is a severe case of illness where you cannot function normally, then antidepressants and some additional medications.

Kristina Butaeva: It is important not to diagnose yourself. We’ll have to try different paths. In meditation, I was violently thrown in different directions, and I realized that I could not cope myself. My path was – a conversation with a specialist. There was a feeling that I was alone in the room and was talking to myself out loud, but she sat in front of me and periodically asked the question “why?”

Sasha Machines: Being treated.Although a person who has experienced depression once, the chances of a recurrence are seriously increased. But in this case, the problem is not in curing her, but in knowing that this happened to you and asking for help. Therefore, even if it happened again, you no longer panic, but write a message to your doctor. Literally a week and you’re fine.

Yana Mandrykina: Agree. You can break your leg several times in your life. You will treat her every time, not selectively.

Zhenya Golomuz: Personally, I haven’t seen anyone who was 100% cured. It’s always this AA club.

Why did you have depression?

Anastasia Tropp: This is the biggest secret. It comes out of nowhere, and you don’t understand at all what it might be connected with. This is a paradox, because you look at everything and you want to slap yourself in the face and say: Kamon, why did you arrange all this? I changed my lifestyle when I went on maternity leave and all my surroundings began to perceive me as a mother.And my old social history seemed to cease to exist for other people. It was a big crisis for me, but now everything is over.

Kristina Butaeva: It is generally accepted that good emotions should be shared. We think they are good, because our parents told us it is right. When you experience bad emotions – aggression, stress, it feels like you don’t know how to express them. It’s kind of uncomfortable to be angry. You forbid yourself, you say – I’m normal, adequate, everything is in order, I read smart books.For example, take a feeling of resentment. You want to complain, but it is not clear to whom. The husband offers to pull himself together, the girlfriend has a lot of problems at work. And it seems that the whole world is not up to you.

Kirill Cheremisov: You cannot be angry with your parents, with your relatives – this is bad. You can’t be angry with a child. And you hide these emotions deep below, and they accumulate. No one has ever taught us psychology how to deal with stress. Over time, you drive yourself into this state.I had quite a long, prolonged stress. Anxiety causes depression, depression is an anxious state. And now you are already lying at the bottom and thinking: why did this happen to you?

Yana Mandrykina: There were many prerequisites for this. And the final trigger was the loss of friends in the crash. This shock worked for the acute phase. Perhaps I had a sluggish phase, and then a shocking event triggered.

Sasha Mashin: I have a similar endogenous history and it’s not about the way of thinking, but partly about genetics.There were uncomfortable conditions, but the clinical case was three years ago. The trigger was his obsession with living in another country. And I was so strongly focused on this thought … I was very scared to try it and at the same time really wanted, because it would bring incredible results to me in my professional career. And these scales are a constant comparison: what is there, but how is it here. What happens if I go, and if I don’t go? This state started the process.

Irina Urnova: I have no diagnosis of bipolar disorder or manic-depressive psychosis, but I am constantly balancing between hypomania and depressive episodes – the so-called borderline personality type.In hypomania (also called atypical depression), you are always awake: you don’t need to sleep, you don’t need to eat, everything is so great. Then this state passes and exhaustion sets in. The trigger was the death of my dad and then my studies abroad, where I was alone. A serious condition began there. Everyone copes with the death of a loved one in a different way, but many try to get through it faster and do not allow themselves to burn out.

How did you manage to get out of the depression?

Anastasia Tropp: Willpower.You take your will into a fist and try your best.

Zhenya Golomuz: My friends suddenly realized that I needed help. They came up with a system where one person called in the morning and another took to work. Therapy, pills and sports helped. Now I don’t go in for sports at all, I don’t take pills. Routine and reactive psychotherapy helps. As soon as you understand what is starting to cover, you remember that you need to do 12 squats, buy tickets to Europe, somewhere in the warmth.

Kirill Cheremisov: After I admitted to myself that I was depressed, it was very difficult to tell someone about it.But those close to me understood and believed. And working with a specialist helped.

Kristina Butaeva: A conversation with a specialist and the definition of a resource – I need life, I need myself, and then everyone else. And when all this becomes necessary, it helps to overcome.

Sasha Mashin: In my case, these were friends who convinced me that I needed to talk to a doctor. I started treatment. It is believed that after starting the medication, it becomes easier after about two weeks.Literally a week later, I felt better. Three weeks later I was already playing concerts. Although it seemed that everything was over in this life. I fully recovered in six months. In total, it took a year. I had clinical depression when I could not eat, wash, get out of bed. It is interesting that after the treatment my assimilation of new information increased many times and my working capacity increased many times. There are people who are in a sluggish depressive state and think that their life is simply not going well and the mood is not very good.This is also a type of depression. There are a huge number of types of depression.

Yana Mandrykina: A friend helped me, she gave me the phone number of her doctor, who diagnosed and prescribed the treatment correctly. Moreover, he diagnosed not only by conversation, but conducted clinical studies. After all, treatment is not only correctly selected drugs, but also a regimen, nutrition, lifestyle.

Vera Kornakova: The first time I did not seek help, it was scary to go to a psychiatrist.Because there is an attitude that going to the doctor will affect your life, it will be written down somewhere, will not give you a good job. In general, it will be a stigma for life. The second time she turned at the peak, because she could no longer cope on her own, and went to the hospital.

So what’s next?

Yana Mandrykina: Like all people, I now feel joy and sadness, but I do! And this is a great happiness, because depression is the absence of any emotions at all.

Sasha Mashin: It is a great happiness to do what you love. I am even glad that such an episode happened in my life, because I began to look at everything differently. To value life much more. And now I have an insatiable desire to live, to play the drums, to get better.

I wore an “instagram face” for a week. And this is what came of it

18 August 2018

Photo by Alex Jones / BBC THREE

BBC journalist Alexandra Jones, by her own example, found out what it is like to live with perfect selfie makeup.

It looks like a 3D effect. This is how you describe my makeup. I can feel a thick layer of blush on my cheeks and face.

If I hadn’t applied full makeup (foundation, concealer, bronzer, powder, two types of contours, a highlighter and six shades of eyeshadow), I would worry that a colleague whom I accidentally ran into could see my cheeks red from embarrassment. But with an “Instagram face” this is not possible.

I assumed that the experiment would be different.

In photographs I was flawless – I spent over an hour photographing myself from every angle and angle.Photo by photo.

Regardless of the light, my face looked perfect – like a doll’s face. I looked defiant and sexy.

“You created a monster, I can’t stop taking pictures of myself,” I said to my makeup artist, who spent 90 minutes painting this face.

A colleague, trying to stifle laughter, examines my face: “It’s just … it’s very … it’s different.”

My usual makeup includes only five cosmetics and takes 4 minutes 37 seconds on the bus to work (yes, I did).But I would not say that I am not trying. On the contrary, I like to experiment, buying cosmetics and doing different makeup. Therefore, it seemed to me that the experiment with the “Instagram face” would be a trifle for me.

The world of “Instagram”

So, I decided to go for a week with an “Instagram face” – the makeup that has become dominant on social networks in the last three years. And, judging by the first impression, the experiment will be more difficult for my pride than I expected.

Search any social media for selfie makeup hashtags and you will see what it is.The unique flaws that make us who we are, that accentuate our natural attractiveness, have been replaced by an “Instagram face”.

Perfect skin, highlighted cheekbones, bright cat eyes and large full lips – this is the Instagram bow. It’s as popular today as Twiggy’s eyelashes in the 60s or Kate Moss’s shiny skin in the 90s. The popularized “Instagram face” by Kim Kardashian has become the hallmark of many modern bloggers.

“It will be difficult for you to wear this makeup during the day,” explains makeup artist Zoe Moore.She uses 25 different cosmetics to give me an Instagram face.

“This face is about eliminating all imperfections and maximizing the masking of skin texture,” explains Zoe. She has been working as a makeup artist for about 10 years and oversees the influence of the “Instagram face” on the work of makeup artists, on the needs of her clients and on the world in general.

“I’ve seen a lot of teenage girls and 20-year-olds wear this makeup. It’s always difficult to paint this face for them. As a makeup artist, you don’t emphasize any features or try to create something unique.On the contrary, you always align your face, sketching all the individual features “, – shares Zoya’s experience.

For example, the nose should be miniature. This effect is achieved by drawing a contour on both sides, which creates a certain optical illusion. Eyes and lips should always be drawn very big.

“The girls who follow all these ‘Instagram world’ trends are under a lot of pressure,” Zoe says. on the street of London, I feel like a grown woman (I’m 29) who wants to look younger.

Multiple coats of makeup base, contour, blush, highlighter and everything else to create a 3D effect.

Shadows make the eyes big and seductive. At the same time, they do not match any of my clothes, which seem too ordinary in comparison with my “instagram face”.

I’m going to meet a friend. My head is down.

I do not want to meet the eyes of any of the passers-by and with every step I feel more and more comical. To cheer up, I take a few selfies and feel an inner sense of satisfaction.

The effect of these photos, the images of which are so far from who I really am, like hot chocolate to the soul.

Photo author, Anna Michel

Photo caption,

“Before” and “After”

I quickly upload one photo to Instagram with the note that I am trying a new onion. Notifications start coming every second.

My followers are just friends and family. My posts get an average of 40 likes.

I am refreshing the page. I already have 35 likes in 10 minutes.It becomes addiction. I’m hooked.

This evening at dinner my friend is eyeing me. “I can’t stop staring at your face,” she mutters. “Every feature is aimed specifically at me.”

In the evening it gets darker and the amount of makeup on my face is no longer so noticeable. A friend notes: “Now I like your face. It’s like you, but sexier.”

Maybe this is the face’s trick – need less light?

It is worth remembering the thought of makeup artist Zoe Moore that it is difficult to wear an “instagram face” every day.

This is what Anita Bhagwandas, the director of beauty at Stylist magazine, says. She is confident that the perfect selfie makeup is a photo bow.

The same technique used in the past in Hollywood where actors’ faces were literally painted for dramatic on-screen scenes.

Things like facial contouring, which artists often use for photography or television, are now available to everyone through tutorials on YouTube and Instagram.

Designed during the black and white period to give character to actors, contouring has never really entered everyday life.But what is the situation now? How real is Instagram?

How to make money on a perfect selfie

The next day I feel full of energy from the reaction that my new face on Instagram caused: more than a hundred likes, comments, fiery emoji with the caption “You look amazing” and almost 20 new subscribers. All this is due to one photo.

My brain is intoxicated with dopamine.

Every time we receive social approval, a neurochemical reaction occurs in our body.We feel good and want to do it again (this is the same reaction that is addictive). From an evolutionary point of view, these habits save our lives (we get dopamine when we have sex, we want to do it again and, as a result, save humanity from extinction).

But today in the world of likes, scientists are worried that the dopamine system of a modern person is beginning to weaken. The possibility of getting a lot of love and a lot of likes is all too real. So real that she can make us wear an “Instagram face” every day.

This morning I first tried to draw an “Instagram face” myself.

I packed a bag full of cosmetics. These are mainly birthday gifts from friends and one expensive eyeshadow palette from the boss.

Unfortunately, I woke up only 20 minutes earlier than usual, which was clearly not enough for such a make-up.

Plus, I realized that I didn’t have enough makeup. The bag did not contain liquid eyeliner, face contour palette and lip liner. You need to go to the cosmetics store during lunch.

By the way, brands successfully use the “Instagram face”. They even release special tutorials on how to draw it.

Why are they popularizing the perfect selfie makeup? Because it requires a lot of makeup. “It’s just good business for brands,” says Zoe Moore.

During lunch I tried to find the cheapest makeup, but still spent £ 35 ($ 44.5).

Earlier this year, Forbes magazine featured Kylie Jenner on the cover of its issue of billionaire women.

She was able to make $ 900 million in three years selling lip gloss and other cosmetics. Her Instagram is a real beauty store.

Blogger Huda Kattan has a similar story (her Instagram account has 26.6 million subscribers). In five years, Khattan has turned from an ordinary beauty blogger to an entrepreneur, with a business turnover of $ 550 million a year. She sells 140 beauty products for the “Instagram face” through her website.

This evening I watched dozens of videos of people creating an “Instagram face”.

YouTube statistics show that every day we spend billions of hours watching makeup videos. One video is about lip gloss, another is about eyeshadow or freckles that disappear with the cosmetic foundation.

They all look different, but in fact they are exactly the same.

Whether you share the beliefs of the followers of the “Instagram face” or not, you have to give them their due: not everyone is ready to constantly set the alarm clock at six in the morning.

Every day I cut my makeup time.Today I managed to do it in 45 minutes. But it was necessary to correct the makeup throughout the day (mainly blush and concealer).

My colleague Vicki admitted: “I forget that this is an experiment. Seeing you in this makeup, I start to feel annoyed. I think I need to do more makeup myself.”

Another colleague Ben, on the other hand, said he found my makeup very funny.

Feel my face “creeping”

My experiment takes place during extreme heat.

I try to avoid the sun at all costs. After the early morning hours, I’d rather be suffering from a lack of vitamin D than letting my painted face spread over lunch.

And when I use the word spread, I literally mean it. A couple of times I met with friends in the park and felt that my face was “creeping”.

I’m sweating and the carefully drawn outlines are starting to blur around the edges. When contour, concealer, powder, base and blush are mixed together, my face takes on a strange rosy-gray tint.

Several times during my one hour commute to work, sweat showed up over my upper lip.

I started to panic and clean it up with powder so that the sweat would not ruin the painted lip line. Lips, as we remember, are very important for the “Instagram face”.

People on public transport – mostly men – said that I didn’t need to use so much makeup. One woman across from me commented that this would ruin my skin.

I was surprised at how often passers-by commented on my bow.Twice men made obscene comments about me on the street.

One friend said: “Seeing how you wear false eyelashes in 30-degree heat, of course, you involuntarily wonder why women are doing all this.”

Maybe the point is that the “Instagram face” is a man’s fantasy of how a woman should look.

Large lips, expressive eyes. A woman who looks more like a sex doll.

At the same time, my boyfriend did not share this opinion.”Do you like it?” I asked him. “No, it’s not your face,” he replied diplomatically.

At the end of the week I met some friends. After a full day of work and two hours on the road in extreme heat, the makeup seemed to have grown into my skin.

“Are you going somewhere? Do you look like you are going to a photo shoot?” – said one friend.

I took a selfie with her to prove how good I look in the photo. She laughed and said, “With this makeup, you could play the role of a librarian in a porn movie.”

Photo author, ALEXANDRA JONES

Photo caption,

“With this make-up you could play the role of a librarian in a porn film”

By the end of the week, despite the already structured daily routine, I happily said goodbye to the Instagram face. By the way, washing it off at night takes almost as much time as painting in the morning.

On the last day of the experiment, I spoke with a colleague whose 17-year-old daughter is a fan of cosmetics.

“She has so much makeup.She spends hours studying online lessons and knows more about makeup than I do, “a colleague laughs.

Cosmetologists have repeatedly warned that selfies distort our image (for example, sharp corners of a square format of photographs make our noses look bigger).

But selfies are still a phenomenon. It engulfs everyone – your daughter, sister, brother, parents. And we all, admit it or not, want to look good on our selfies.

The Instagram face is a product of our selfies. mania.Makeup designed specifically for selfies and so that our noses can still “fit” into the photo.

On August 1, beauty blogger Kylie Jenner released her Instagram photo filters. Now you don’t even need to buy lipstick to look good in the photo. But wouldn’t you want to buy lipstick as soon as you see these photos?

I’m almost 30. When I was a teenager, Instagram didn’t exist yet.

But what about today’s teenagers for whom the “Instagram face” has been released to the market? For some of them, changing their appearance has become the main occupation of life.In my case, the most difficult thing was to find time for this.

Earlier, the BBC reported an increase in the number of plastic surgeries that make us look like our perfect filtered selfies.

According to the study, 56% of plastic surgeons in the United States report an increase in visits from people under 30 years of age.

In 10 years’ time, the selfie-raised generation may have access to quick and cheap surgery.

Just the other day, the Superdrug cosmetics store announced that soon it will be possible to try the Botox procedure right in the store.Superdrug’s managers said specially trained nurses will administer the procedure. The British Plastic Surgery Association has already issued a warning to the company that such procedures outside hospitals are illegal.

Without my “instramny face” my real face is unlikely to catch your eye on the street. I decided to try going back to light makeup and went to a wedding over the weekend.

Nobody commented on my appearance and I felt a little disappointed.For a week I managed to get used to the increased attention.

But when I went into the bathroom, I saw in the mirror the reflection of a living person.

And looking at myself real, I went to drink and dance.

After all, you can do it 100%, sweat, jump – and not think about your face for a minute.

Pneumonia. Hospital diary of a journalist from Mediazona

How to get out of here. Sunday, 5 April

I have an eerie realistic dream, as if I open the news feed and see lightning: PUTIN EXTENDED THE GENERAL ISOLATION MODE UNTIL JANUARY 1, 2021 – INTERFAX.

In a dream, for some reason I understand: this automatically means that I will spend the whole year in the hospital. I start to sob and wake up in tears, in a panic I grab the phone, trying to figure out who to call first – the editorial office, the Ministry of Health, S., mom? After a few seconds, I calm down and understand that this is not true. I don’t know when they will let me go home, but certainly before next year.

Really?

The nightmare woke me up very early in the morning, even before the temperature was measured.I hear noise and running around in the corridor. From the fragmentary phrases of the staff, I learn that “at least twelve people” have been brought to the department and they are taking more, some of them to the intensive care unit. There is a vague hope that I will still be discharged on Monday, because someone clearly needs this bed. But then I remember how reluctantly they put me here and hope quickly disappears. It is likely that my neighbors and I will be kept here until the last, so as not to admit new patients, each of whom has at least a suspicion of pneumonia.

For the first time I have a normal temperature, but now my whole body itches, and especially the injection sites. Judging by the scratches on my skin, I itched in my sleep. I have no idea what it is. Perhaps an allergy to bleach, which was used to wipe the floor in our room.

I refuse the hospital breakfast in advance and use one packet of Agusha puree. I go to the sink to throw out the rest of the coffee: several cockroaches are swimming in the mug, one very large and smaller. I sigh and pour the contents of the mug into the sink.Cockroaches immediately creep away and soon hide somewhere under the tiles. It seems that they are like the TV channel RT – not even a zombie apocalypse will save them from them. For a long time and diligently I soap the mug, treat it with an antiseptic, then wash it thoroughly with hot water and go for “boiling water”.

The department is in chaos, and now nobody cares about me. I hand over the Borjomi bottle and pour myself some coffee. The mood is high. I have an important task today: to achieve the transfer of butterfly catheters so that I do not move the horses during the next injection.

From nine to noon, I go to the staff room several times to talk about this with the doctor on duty, who must request permission from the “chief” for this transfer. Every time they stop me and try to turn me back into the ward, I proudly say that I was “asked to come in” (this is true). On the way, I observe absolutely outrageous things.

Nursing station conventionally divides the corridor into two parts – male and female. In the male part of the department there is a rest room, after which there is a passage to other departments of this hospital and an exit to the stairs.I have never gone further than the post. Now I seem to be able to. On the way to the staff room, I involuntarily freeze in the corridor, feeling the sharp smell of cheap tobacco.

I have not smoked for four days. I will not confuse this smell with anything. I turn left and see a toilet. There is a sign on the door reminding that for smoking on the territory of the hospital, the patient is subject to immediate discharge. And the signature: “The alarm goes off!” Well, yes, I can see how it works. Patients walk past me to the toilet and back, obviously, this place is very popular with them.

On the third attempt I find out that I can’t see any catheters today: the doctor on duty “did everything she could”, but the answer was simple – “not supposed to.” My knees are shaking and I go back to the ward. On the way, I go into the very room with the aquarium, sit on the sofa and watch the fish. I’m not allowed to be here, but right now I’m **** [indifferent]. Among the plants in the room I notice a monster. I also have one, a friend gave it to me for my 25th birthday – quite recently, on March 10th.I think about my monster and other plants that were left at home without care. I am very worried and with these thoughts I return back to the ward. Neighbors ask me about catheters, I pass them the doctor’s words. I sit down on the bed and start crying, occasionally swearing.

***

Everything pisses me off, and it needs to be put somewhere, so I make the decision to trash and knock on the guests of the male part of the department. I suppose nobody cares about smokers right now, but if I can’t leave the room, let others, too, can’t.Here I am such a bastard. The reserves of empathy during my stay in this hospital have been almost completely used up, the rest – for my neighbors. I pretend to pour myself some coffee (cold water is pouring from the kettle with “boiling water” into the mug). I stop the first nurse I come across and complain to her without batting an eye. The answer is simple: “We have already scolded them.” Lol, okay then, let’s split up.

Before lunch, in principle, nothing else happens, I lie and play Animal Crossing . I try not to think about the fact that now my friends are playing without me in D&D – my name was also, but I decided to save my neighbors from four hours of listening to me going through the “Tomb of Nightmares”.

I refuse lunch, but they still keep it for me. Out of boredom, I photograph the food and the cockroach spray on the table. At some point, insects begin to crawl on the table and on the plates – but they are too small to make a funny shot. Once, cockroaches could benefit me and did not even cope with this.

***

Soon after lunch, a strange nurse announced: everyone who can walk will receive injections today in the treatment room. All right, ****** [end] to me, I think I go to the treatment room first.There, besides her, was a nurse whom I had never seen before either. The girl calls my name and laughs: “The whole department is already talking about your veins.” The nurse finds a thin wreath on her right arm, next to the bruises from past injections, and prepares the syringes. I turn away, squeezing the chair in which I sit with my free hand. The injections were, as I thought, very painful. I endure and keep quiet, but exactly until the moment when the vein is expected to burst. From the injection site, a sharp pain instantly spreads down my arm, I automatically turn and look at it.

The sight of blood, including my own, never bothered me. But now I instantly feel sick, I burst into tears, my glasses fall off, and blood pours and pours and pours while the nurse is looking for something to stop her.

“Coward, or what? Give ammonia? ” She laughs. It is very ugly to reproach patients that they are in pain, I notice through tears. The nurse bandages my hand and says that I have to endure, because they are tired and tired, there are seventy people in the department and in every ward there are such nervous ones.Sorry, I say. And I remind you that I did not ask to be taken here. Once they put it down, it means – it is necessary, she briefly notes in response.

I go back to the ward, sobbing in pain. I sit on the bed and swear, choking on tears. The neighbors console me, which makes me immediately ashamed. And I shut up – but not for long. Moving from the jacket to the arm, a medium-sized Vasya crawls under my bandages. I scream loudly and throw him out of there, then I apologize to the neighbors. “Never go to such hospitals when you are old,” Irina Vladimirovna says melancholy, “People are brought here to die, whom you don’t mind.”

Irina Vladimirovna is worse today than usual. She almost never gets out of bed, even an injection was given to her while lying down. She calls the nurse and asks to measure her blood pressure. The same nurse who gave me the injection comes. Measuring the pressure, she says: “Do not touch us, we are tired.” “This is your job,” Irina Vladimirovna remarks calmly, “I have worked for the state for fifty years, I am a design engineer of the second category. I am also tired. Now you work. ” A young girl reproaches the 94-year-old blockade woman and indignantly tells her that she did not work with patients.“You yourself have chosen such a job,” says Irina Vladimirovna. The nurse informs her that her blood pressure and pulse are normal and leaves the room.

“They are young, they look like flowers in a pot with mom and dad,” says Irina Vladimirovna sadly, “And we lifted the whole country on our shoulders. But they are tired, and we are told not to touch them. ” I feel sorry for her to tears. My own grandmother is soon seventy-five, she is a veteran of labor, she worked all her life in an artistic embroidery factory until it was closed.I understand that the medical staff is tired, and sincerely sympathize with everyone. But I don’t understand how the language generally turns to say such things to an elderly person who is also sick.

A neighbor in the treatment room was told that my catheters were not accepted at all, not because “it’s not supposed to be on the weekend” – the staff fears that they will “bring the infection” into the hospital with the catheters. What does it mean? I do not understand. We will no longer be given parcels? And that is, cockroaches are ok, but because of the sterile needles in individual packaging, this hospital will definitely turn into a hotbed of bubonic plague.

I really want a sandwich with cheese – here they are sometimes given for breakfast to diabetics. A neighbor jokes that even in prisons people are fed better than us, but on the other hand, people work there, but we do not. For the cheese sandwich, I’m ready to mop the floors in the entire ward, I joke. Beware of your desires, the second neighbor says cheerfully.

I go to bed and process the photos with template filters so that at least something in this hospital would seem beautiful to me. I publish several frames on Instagram and Twitter, on one of them there is a table with a tray in which syringes with my medicines lie.”What is this, lavash for a shavukha?” – asks me one of my subscribers about the litter in the tray. No, it’s like a sterile hospital.

In another picture – a plate with my hospital lunch, I have no desire to describe it in detail. While I’m reading the replies, dinner is brought in – it doesn’t look any better, and I don’t eat it either. Some of the comments I read aloud, for example, the remark of some lady on external twitter that I should be grateful that someone is preparing food for me. “Eat what they give !!” – we laugh with neighbors.One of them is a cook by education. She says that she would not give this even to dogs.

***

By evening, the atmosphere in the department changes dramatically: it seems that the word “quarantine” is being taken seriously. There is not a soul in the corridors, and now you definitely won’t look at the aquarium – at any attempt to go beyond the toilet, they swear and drive back into the ward. Several times during the evening, the floors, window sills and table in the ward are wiped with bleach, my allergies intensify, and Vietnamese flashbacks visit me about my (fortunately) uncomplicated career in synchronized swimming.Food is no longer carried to the bedside tables, the nurse puts it on the common table and immediately leaves. After dinner, pills are distributed and asked who is coughing (everyone coughs). They measure the temperature – my temperature has risen again, although during the day it was not normal for long.

I am lying on the bed and talking to S., we are discussing relocation. “Damn, it’s probably cool to live in a country in which no one thinks“ FUCK, HOW TO DUMP HERE ”, writes S. I type an answer and get distracted by a cockroach crawling on my bedside table.Fak, I think. How to get out of here.

Tomorrow we will be examined by the attending physician. The whole chamber decided to write a waiver of hospitalization. I wonder what wording they will refuse.

I’ve been playing Animal Crossing for about an hour. It’s already been an Easter event there, and you need to collect eggs all over the island. This ****** [got me sick] almost as badly as lying in this hospital, but the cute anthropomorphic animals at least don’t tear my veins and regularly say I’m great.

Suddenly a man of about forty with a broken face, dressed in a tracksuit, enters the ward. He looks around the room with an appraising glance and asks the “girls” who borrowed matches from him. What matches, says the neighbor, we are barely let out of the ward. But of course you go upstairs to smoke, I think grimly. The man offers to “show the place” and leaves. Yes, I know without you where this place is. For a couple of minutes I am tormented, wondering whether to score or go to smoke. Hmm, acute bronchitis, suspected pneumonia, herpes and fever.I come to the conclusion that perhaps I shouldn’t smoke. And immediately I put the third nicotine patch on my other wrist. Tomorrow I’ll glue them on my forehead, like Amy Santiago from Brooklyn 9-9. I can love two things.

A neighbor offers ginger cough candy. Maybe I’m already crazy, but I’m starting to think that it helps better than all the pills and antibiotics. I put on a mask, very carefully I go out into the corridor to make myself some tea. There is a whole crowd of people – from the very first shop and right up to the dining room itself.I am no longer surprised how frivolous everyone is about the local “quarantine”. I don’t even care deeply. Already in the ward I can hear the nurse yelling at everyone in the corridor so that everyone disperses. Your action has not been approved, I joke softly. Do not interfere with the passage of citizens.

***

Lying down, I watch a cockroach crawling on the package of “Acyclovir” on my bedside table. All the neighbors are asleep. Suddenly Irina Vladimirovna sits down in bed and turns on the light above her. I ask her if she got sick.Irina Vladimirovna replies that she feels fine.

I put on a mask, again go out into the corridor for boiling water. I feel bad and I really want some hot drink. I reach the dining room: all the teapots have run out of water. This is not surprising at two in the morning. A nurse notices me, she swears. There is no one else in the corridor.

When I return, I put my cup on the nightstand, lie down and try to sleep. Irina Vladimirovna is sitting on the bed, covering her face with her palms. I want to tell her something, but I don’t know what.I turn over on the other side and think that people in jail and colonies are much worse off than me – especially now. I think about the fact that I ****** [snapped] complaining. At some point, I fall asleep.

Psychological advice – Psychological advice

Parental Rules Against Alcohol and Drug Use

As parents, it is our responsibility to set the rules for our children to follow. This also applies to the use of alcohol and drugs, as they pose a serious threat to the well-being of the child.However, having such rules is only half the battle; we must be prepared to enforce punishment when the rules are broken.

1. Be realistic in setting the rules, explain the reasons for following them strictly. What they are and what behavior is expected. Explain the consequences of breaking the rules: what the penalty will be, how it will be applied, how long it will last, and what the penalty will achieve.

2. Be consistent. Explain to your child that the rule of not using alcohol and drugs remains in effect at all times – at home, away, on the street, wherever the child is.

Be reasonable and consistent. Do not add new consequences that were not discussed before the rule was broken. Avoid unrealistic threats like “Father will kill you when he comes …”. Try to react calmly and carry out the punishment the child expects to receive for breaking the rules.

As parents, we must have accurate and up-to-date drug information in order to pass it on to our children. Our opinion that “this is terrible, destructive” is not enough to help the child.We have knowledge about conventional drugs, their effect on the psyche and the person – this is already a reason for conversation and discussion with children. Well-informed parents are better able to recognize the symptoms of alcohol or drug problems if a child has them.

The parent must:

1. have an understanding of the types of drugs and alcohol that are most common today and the dangers associated with each of them;

2.be able to recognize the means, devices and details for drug use;

3. know street, slang names for drugs;

4. know how they look;

5. be aware of indirect signs of alcohol and other psychoactive substances use and be on the lookout for changes in the child’s behavior and appearance;

6. Know how to help if you suspect your child is using alcohol or drugs.

Causes and Symptoms

Why do people use drugs?

· Because it is affordable (a very profitable business to play on human weaknesses).

· Because we submit to pressure, we do not know how to resist.

· Because there is no solution of its own.

· Because critical thinking is lacking.

· Because we do not know how to cope with stress.

· Because it seems harmless, harmless.

· Because he does not understand his problems, in particular, we do not know how to communicate.

· Because we do not know how to assess the degree of risk, we do not know how to take care of ourselves.

· Because we do not know how to understand our feelings and the feelings of others, etc.

When can it be noticed?

· When indifference to everything that was interesting grows.

· When we see leaving home and absenteeism at school for unknown reasons.

· When we see an overly painful reaction to any criticism.

· When we see avoidance of contact with family.

· When school performance dropped sharply.

· When a request for money for one goal is constantly replaced by another.

· When valuables disappear from the house.

· When unknown people often ring the phone.

· When the stay in the bathroom or toilet becomes excessively long.

· When telephone conversations become saturated with specific jargon.

· When musical preferences change dramatically.

· When we see memory impairment, the inability to concentrate.

· When we see frequent and abrupt changes in mood and activity.

· When increased fatigue is replaced by indomitable energy.

· When we see excessive pallor of the skin.

· When we see pupils dilated or narrowed to the point.

· When we see reddened eyelids and eyes.

· When we hear slowed down or sharply accelerated speech.

· When we see a sharp weight loss with fluctuations in appetite.

· When we occasionally see symptoms that pass quickly, like a cold or flu.

· When a chronic cough appeared.

· When we observe disordered coordination of movements.

· When we see injection marks, cuts, bruises, infiltrates and abscesses at the injection sites.

· When we find syringes, incomprehensible powders, small boxes, capsules, pieces of paper rolled into tubes, burnt metal dishes and spoons.

· When laboratory tests indicate a positive result.

What to do?

Carefully observe, if you are not sure – accumulate facts, discuss them with your child, contact a specialist alone or together.Find what you can change in your behavior to influence the situation. Try to be as consistent as possible. Involve possible allies in solving the problem.

What not to do !!!

Don’t panic, lecture, threaten, intimidate, be overly anxious, or lose control. Do not demand promises that this is the last time. Don’t count on complete sincerity. Don’t expect immediate changes in your child’s behavior.Do not blame yourself and others. Do not promise unrealistic measures.

Educator-psychologist A. Ivanova

21.04.2015

90,000 “Steve Jobs Came Too Late”: Oncologist David Agus on why he couldn’t cure Apple founder of cancer

David Agus is a professor of medicine and has won many awards and awards for research in the field of oncology. Agus leads an interdisciplinary team of researchers looking for the latest ways to fight cancer.It was to Agus’ team that Steve Jobs turned to when it became clear that his disease was progressing. In recent years, the oncologist has published three books, including “Rules for a Long and Healthy Life” and “Tomorrow Starts Today” (publishing house “Bombora”), where he tells readers how to take care of their health. Tanned, lean Agus himself follows his own advice. After a genetic study that showed a high risk of stomach cancer, he did a colonoscopy at 43 years old, without waiting for the recommended 50 years, and removed the detected polyp: “It may not have turned into a tumor, but I do not intend to check.”Our regular columnist Natalia Lomykina met with David Agus at the Healthy Moscow Assembly to ask important questions about the world’s worst disease.

DR

Let’s start with your book “Tomorrow Starts Today”. You give an unexpected epigraph to the book on health – with a quote from Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World “… Most people will grow up contented with their bondage and never even think about revolution.” What do you mean by this ?

For me health is a very personal matter.Health is not what doctors tell you, not something that happens by the will of circumstances. You are responsible for your own health. Everyone has the chance to live a much longer and more enjoyable life than is commonly believed. But it’s important to open your eyes in time. Medicine and technology are developing rapidly, and people are not trying to take this into account.
The modern society really lacks leaders in the healthcare sector. When I look at Russia – such an influential state – I see that everything is in order with your political leadership.Perhaps this now characterizes Russia – a very strong leader. But this is in politics, and when it comes to health, there is no such person who enjoys the same influence. There are political, economic, military leaders in the world, but there are practically no people who would define the attitude to health by their example. And since there are no leaders who can lead a revolution in the attitude of a person to his own health, you have to do it yourself. You see, no matter what miraculous medicines are invented, health and longevity will not come by themselves – for this you need to start taking care of yourself.Today. Now.

Advertising on Forbes

What do you mean by the concept of “health care”?

Prevention. The main problem is that health is a very long-term investment. The result is not immediately visible. This hinders most people: you have to do today what will help not tomorrow or in a year, but in 10-20 years. If you drank the medicine today and you feel better tomorrow, everything is clear. But doing something, counting on the effect in 20 years, is difficult.You need to be aware of this and rebuild your thinking.

Look at Singapore for example – they are changing the system itself. Yes, a person can refuse the colonoscopy prescribed during the clinical examination, but in this case, if he is later diagnosed with colon cancer, he will spend $ 60,000 on research. He can continue to smoke, but in this case, lung cancer treatment will cost him $ 90,000 Through this approach, Singapore has made significant strides in early-stage cancer diagnosis.In the States, no one forbids a person to smoke, but his health insurance will cost twice as much. You have a very developed free medicine in Russia, but at the same time smokers are equal in rights with those who do not smoke. In fact, a person is paid for treatment, regardless of his lifestyle. And this is commendable from a social point of view, but does not in any way stimulate people to look after their own health. I think it’s time to reconsider the attitude towards prevention and responsibility.

How long have you been studying cancer?

I’ve been studying cancer for over 30 years.

Are you yourself afraid of cancer?

No. You know, when I was 12 or 13 years old, I took part in a national science experiment. That is, as a teenager, I ended up in a scientific laboratory – and instead of football or baseball, I was busy with test tubes with samples in my free time. And I realized very early that I wanted not just to take tests, but to really help people. Oncology is the area where it is most needed now. We are all at risk – patients, doctors, scientists. And in my short, in general, career, I already see tremendous progress.We started when medicine offered only chemotherapy, which helped, but weakly. Now I can give the patient a drug that blocks the false signal of “me” from cancer cells and thus forces his own immune system to fight the cancer.

Cancer is a verb, not a noun. It is something that the body “does”, it is a process. The body does not “get” cancer, but “produces”

I will tell you about an important case from my practice, which happened in 1997, when I was working in the largest cancer center in New York (Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center).A 25-year-old patient came to me, he had testicular cancer, which metastases to the brain, lungs and liver. He had about three months to live, it was already too late to do chemotherapy – apart from suffering, she would have given nothing. They said to him: take heart and spend this time with your family. But this guy found out (without any “Google” – now it’s hard to imagine how we generally lived before “Google”) about an experiment when a doctor put two platinum electrodes and, using electromagnetic radiation, high doses of a platinum drug were applied to oncocells.This guy called my office on the landline and asked me to inject platinum. “You’re out of your mind,” I said. But he was persistent and was included in a three-month clinical study. And it turned out that the precious metal, from which wedding rings are usually made, can kill cancer. A few months later, this guy won the first of seven Tour de France races, his name was Lance Armstrong.

Ten years later we sat and talked. And Lance said to me, “Agus (I had 15 David in my class, so my name is Agus all my life), I got a second chance, I’m living a fulfilling life.So platinum works? ” And I answered honestly, “I don’t know. But platinum definitely changed you so that cancer could no longer grow. ”

For me, cancer is a verb, not a noun. It is something that the body “does”, it is a process. The body does not “receive” cancer, but “produces” it. If you look at oncology in this vein, a new perspective opens up, a new direction in medicine. My task as a doctor is not to cure cancer, but to change you so that oncology has nowhere to come from. This means that medicine is facing new challenges – and it’s exciting.We cannot guarantee recovery yet, but we can definitely extend the time of full life for our patients.

For many, a cancer diagnosis means costly, painful treatment with little hope of success. I remember how the grandmother of my close friend was diagnosed with oncology, and the family took it absolutely doomed: “Even Raisa Gorbachev was not saved, what can we talk about.” Among your patients was Steve Jobs, who had every opportunity to receive the best treatment at that time, but you could not save him.

Two essential points. First, prevention. Steve has never done prevention. The simplest is aspirin. One of the oldest drugs known to mankind is in every pharmacy, it is inexpensive. It has been proven that if you take a low dose of aspirin (75 mg) daily, the risk of developing cancer is reduced by 30%, the risk of lung, colon and prostate cancer – by 46%. Prevention and regular examinations are available to almost everyone, regardless of their standard of living.

Second, treatment.Steve came to me late. The doctors he had consulted before were wrong: they recommended nutritional therapy, not surgery, and the cancer spread throughout the body. It was a mistake. Steve had a talent for listening to his body and knew what he wanted. But he is not a doctor. And at the beginning of the fight against cancer, he made the wrong decision – he refused the operation, which, quite possibly, could save his life.

Steve Jobs · David Paul Morris / Bloomberg via Getty Images

And yet, due to advanced treatment methods (which, I emphasize, are available in Russia), we have extended his life by six full years, which is a lot.He did not die soon after the diagnosis was announced, he did not die painfully for these six years, but lived. Before his death, he managed to say goodbye to his friends and family.

My task is not to cure cancer (although, of course, ideally, this is my main goal), but to allow the patient to live normally until the last day. This is a challenge not only for medicine, but also for the economy. A task that requires a different social order. And again I emphasize that this is a matter of a fundamentally different attitude towards oneself and one’s health.

Advertising on Forbes

What is this different approach? What can a person do on a daily basis to reduce the risk of cancer?

I often hear people say: I don’t even want to hear about cancer, these thoughts drive me into depression.This is fundamentally wrong! Knowledge is power. The more you know, the sooner you get the information you need, the more time and opportunity you have to protect your body. Look, the most effective cure for breast cancer was originally intended for something completely different – this is the cure for osteoporosis. Breast cancer metastases to the bone. If I change the “soil”, it does not take root, does not spread. And then the operation gives almost guaranteed cure. That is, now we give all patients with breast cancer drugs to strengthen bones, and this significantly slows down the development of the disease and prolongs life for years.

So what can we do for the prevention you are talking about? What are the must-have recommendations for people over thirty?

First of all, quit smoking. This is key. Smoking is still a major risk factor and a leading cause of cancer in both the United States and Russia, although the situation is improving. Remember, when you smoke, you spoil not only your health, but also the health of those around you. And standing in a smoking room with friends is even more dangerous than smoking yourself. And this also applies to vaping.

The second thing – very simple, but important – is constant movement. Our body is designed to be in motion. The lymphatic system, which is responsible for immunity, does not have its own muscles; it only starts working when you move. Rhythmic walking starts the whole body. It is only through regular walks that you can significantly extend your life. It has been proven that rhythmic walking significantly reduces the risk of cardiovascular diseases and oncology. Don’t sit in one place for a long time: be sure to move during the day.Do not sit in one place for more than 40 minutes while working. Long periods of immobility increase the likelihood of illness.

Advertising on Forbes

Third. Observe the regime. This applies to both sleep and nutrition. Try to eat at the same time. Constant small snacks, even if it’s something healthy like nuts, trigger the release of cortisol, the stress hormone. Regular three meals a day and no snacks is the key to your health.

Fourth, but no less important.Be sure to get flu shots. Let me explain, it’s not about vaccinations, but about the flu itself. Yes, if you get the flu today, you probably will not die (although, according to statistics, in the United States, on average, 250 people die every day from the flu). The danger is that if you have had the flu, you are at risk for cardiovascular disease and cancer for the next ten years. You are much more vulnerable compared to those who did not have the flu – all inflammation goes away much faster. Our job is to prevent inflammation.Watch your body, be attentive to it. If your shoes are rubbed every day, get rid of them – unnecessary inflammation is useless. Any foci of inflammation are ready gates for more serious diseases. Therefore, one of the ways to prevent cancer is to prevent inflammation. Drink aspirin to prevent cancer by reducing inflammation. If you are over forty and have no contraindications, you should take 75 mg of aspirin daily. For me, this is one of the basic rules.

And the last one.Get tested regularly. I know that in Russia people come to the doctor mostly “when they get it.” I think you perfectly understand that this is a big mistake. Also, in the digital age, please make copies of your medical records, basic tests, vaccinations, allergens – everything a doctor needs to know. Store this information in the cloud so that you have access to it at any time. No one gets sick from Monday to Friday during their doctor’s appointments. All the most unpleasant things happen on weekends, on vacation or on the road.If you have real-time access to information, you may just save your life.

And I will emphasize again: gather information, doubt, ask questions. When you go to buy a car, you have a million questions at the ready and you will not trust the first person you meet who praises your car. So why do you go to the doctor without a list?

This is true. Usually there is a list of questions only when you go to the doctor with your child.

Advertising on Forbes

Don’t forget that you are responsible for yourself too.First of all, for myself. Strip naked once a month and take a close look in the mirror. Be attentive to your body, know what is happening to it. There is no need to measure blood pressure once a year at the prophylactic medical examination. You must know. how much pressure do you have in the morning, what pressure in the evenings, what pressure after a conflict or quarrel when you are upset. A tonometer is an absolutely accessible and very informative thing.

What do you yourself do regularly?

I try to eat at the same time three times a day.For breakfast, I usually have eggs and yogurt, for lunch – salad and proteins, for dinner – fish or chicken, beef once a week. I try to go to bed and get up at the same time. I get up very early, so I go to bed quite early. I have a glass or two of wine a couple of times a week. I play tennis twice a week – I’m lucky, I live in Los Angeles, where you can do outdoor sports all year round. I do yoga twice a week – I hate it, and I’m very bad at it, but it works, so I have to do it.And I try to have dinner at home with my family, which is very important to me. Home is the place where I rest, relax and feel better. The more stressful the day, the more palpable the need to be with your family.

The most important thing is that I always leave myself time for doing nothing. Many people mistakenly think that idleness is just relaxation, nothing like that! This is the time of creation for the organism. The brain processes and assimilates the information received, and regeneration processes are started. The neighbor thinks that you are just sitting on the bench with the dog, but you are doing much more.

There are many famous people among your patients who seek help. Do they think such advice is too simple and therefore ineffective? After all, people tend to look for a magic elixir, so that once – and the result.

Advertising on Forbes

It all depends on the situation: are we talking about treatment or prevention. The doctor must have his own convictions, a proven methodology, and so on, but he must be ready to react quickly and change the usual scheme, if the situation requires it.In the case of Steve Jobs, the doctors gave early nutritional therapy instead of surgery — and that was a mistake. It often happens that doctors follow the lead of high-ranking patients, do not dare to confront them. I do not have this reverence and fear of powerful people, I proceed from the real picture of the disease and say what I am sure of. I think this confidence is important to the patient. But making a decision is not my job. The decision is made by the patient. My job is to describe the situation and prospects as much as possible.Today, if a doctor begins to dictate to a patient what to do, he rolls his eyes. Once one of the companies in Silicon Valley invited me to improve the nutrition of employees, and at first I made a big mistake: my team and I tried to make the hamburger more useful at the expense of salad, and as a result, it began to cost 2 times more. People were unhappy. Then we just wrote about each dish, what is useful and harmful for this or that food. No labels, just a utility rate. And people themselves made the right choice.

My work, like any modern doctor, researcher, scientist, educational. Our task is to show people where this or that choice leads, and not to tell them what to do. The approach when the doctor, importantly adjusting his glasses, says: “Take this medication for 5 days, and then come to the appointment,” limited. I believe I have an educational mission, so I write books, give lectures, and participate in TV programs. To popularize science is also my business.

Remember Andrew Grove, the Holocaust survivor, co-founder and CEO of Intel, and Time’s Person of the Year.He knocked on my lab one day and I just developed a cure for lymphoma. Of course, I was impressed – such a person came to me. We started talking, and Grove said to me: “David, you are a great scientist, but a terrible speaker.” I shrugged it off, “It doesn’t matter,” but he thought differently and organized 280 lectures for me a year. Almost every day after work I went somewhere to give a lecture. He forced me to learn to communicate clearly the essence of my work and our research. Grove said, “It is your duty to educate people.If you do science and spend taxpayers’ money on it, they should understand what exactly you are doing. If you are trying to help people stay healthy, the essence of your work should be clear to them. ” Andrew Grove changed my life.

Now the average life expectancy on Earth is about 75 years. What does science tell us? Will those born in the new decade be able to live to 90?

I am an optimist. I believe that any healthy person living today will be able to exchange their ninth decade.Those who are 20 today can easily live to be a hundred, maybe more. And with every decade, the average life expectancy will increase by several years. This is already happening. I write about this in the book Tomorrow Begins Today. We are about to discover a cure for Alzheimer’s disease, we are already far advanced in cancer treatment, we have significantly reduced the number of heart attacks and cardiovascular diseases. I am now really going to patients with hope. I have something to offer them. And when the patient has hope, treatment is 30% more effective.We live in a wonderful time when science is developing rapidly. Our job is to take care of ourselves: the longer you stay healthy, the more likely science will be able to help you when old age does take its toll. The main thing is to lead a healthy lifestyle and keep your body in order.

I teach at the university, and among my 20-year-old students, smart, not indifferent to their lifestyle, health and ecology, there are a lot of vegans. What do you think of it?

Advertising on Forbes

We cannot change evolution overnight.And if for 2.5 million years mankind ate meat and vegetables, and now they want to put it on a diet in an instant … Yes, vegans can be absolutely healthy people, but it is ten times more difficult for them to provide themselves with a balanced diet, and only a few do it right. Most vegan foods are carbohydrates without protein and healthy fats. In a word, if you do everything right, this is great, but if you just do not eat most of the food, you are harmful to your health. Assess your strength. Both vegetarianism and veganism are difficult and expensive.Do not embark on this difficult path just because it is fashionable.

So I just want to ask about one more fashion trend. The progress of science, cosmetology and the pursuit of youth lead to the fact that at a young age girls inject Botox, make injections into the lips …

This is crazy! They forget that the standards of female beauty change every 10 years. And the result of plastic surgery cannot be returned. The healthiest way to look younger is to stay fit, exercise, and eat right.If you want your skin to glow, don’t smoke. And about the excessive passion for cosmetology, I will tell you this. Is it better to look good today or ride bikes with your grandchildren tomorrow? In my opinion, everything is obvious.

Clearly, you consider the benefits of injections, threads and other achievements of cosmetology doubtful, but what does science say, your research? Is there a relationship between threads or breast implants and oncology?

Honestly, we don’t know. This issue has been studied for a long time and thoroughly, but there is no definite result.In the short term, everything is harmless – you look younger and more attractive, everything is fine. But in the long term, the issue is still poorly understood. I do not undertake to give guarantees. See what happened with vaping. This method was developed as a lightweight form of smoking. And then it turned out that vaping is even more dangerous for health – it provokes cancer more often than smoking tobacco. Sometimes it takes 10-20 years to get answers. Do not risk yourself in vain, do not experiment. Real health care is painstaking, long-term, regular work.It does not give an instant result, like plastic surgery, but it works for sure.

Advertising on Forbes

Honestly, I would vote for some things to be banned at the legislative level as little studied. But when it comes to huge profits, oncologists are not overly asked. Therefore, I will return to where we started the conversation. – one cannot rely only on opinion leaders. I hope there will be more celebrities promoting healthy lifestyles.Stars, politicians, top managers of large companies should introduce fashion for health, natural beauty and common sense. It seems to me that this is their public duty.

Could you already name such an example by ?

Angelina Jolie has sequenced the genes responsible for the development of breast cancer. And when the results showed a BRCA1 gene mutation and an 87% chance of developing breast cancer, she wrote in The New York Times about the study, about the risks, and why she decided to have surgery.And the number of those who underwent the same examination increased by hundreds of percent, because she is a cult figure.

Most recently (January 5, 2020 – Forbes ), an outstanding oncologist Andrei Pavlenko died in Russia, he himself had an aggressive stomach cancer. Has he blogged in depth on what it’s like to live with cancer? and publicly talked about all the stages of his treatment. For me, this is an example of incredible courage – to speak honestly and openly about my illness, professionally understanding what is happening.This is an outstanding example of the demystification of a disease. And this is precisely what is needed today. When Andy Grove was diagnosed with Parkinson, he talked about it. Actor Michael J. Fox has been sick with Parkinson for a long time – he founded a charitable foundation and constantly invests in the study of the disease and the search for a cure. He does not hide his diagnosis, he speaks about it openly. When Senator John McCain Fought Brain Cancer. he talked about it and became an example of willpower for many. I think people who have influence, recognition should use it for educational purposes and be an example.

Are you writing a new book?

Advertising on Forbes

Oh yes! It will be very interesting! I contacted scientists studying the evolution of various animals: whales, giraffes, elephants, who live on our planet right now. We compared data from the study of the most common diseases in different animals – cardiovascular, strokes, cancer, pneumonia, and so on. We are looking at what nature, evolution, has come up with in order to protect some species from certain diseases.For example, did you know that elephants do not have cancer?

Why?

Human evolution protects against cancer until about the end of the reproductive period. When you can no longer have offspring, nature is no longer interested in you – the risk of developing oncology increases. And evolution protects elephants until old age. We already know why. We have the TP53 gene, it is an anti-oncogene, it is called the “guardian of the genome”. So the elephant has 20 of these genes. Evolution selects and protects those who can have healthy offspring, not those who live long.People want both, and that is why we have already invented antibiotics and vaccines, learned how to perform operations and understand genes. We understand how evolutionary processes can be used. It’s exciting, we are living in a time of great scientific discoveries.

Excerpt from David Agus’s Tomorrow Starts Today

In 2007, I was asked to join Steve Jobs’s medical team to help him with his care and serve as a kind of resonator, “with which he can discuss other professionals in his circle.He wanted to get ahead of his cancer as much as possible. This team of specialists included not only doctors from Stanford – Steve lived and worked near the university; he has collaborated with Johns Hopkins University and the Broad Institute of Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Harvard University, and the University of Tennessee Liver Transplant Program. Our approach was aggressive and integrated; we have used the best cancer-fighting technology we have at our disposal.We have sequenced the genes of his tumors to select specific drugs that will fight the defects in cells that turn them into cancers. It was a revolutionary approach, completely different from conventional therapy, which most often hits the cells of the whole body at once, both healthy and cancerous, preventing them from dividing.

We, the medical team, were playing chess. They made a move using a certain “cocktail” of drugs, many of which were experimental and had not yet gone into production, and then waited for a response from cancer.When he mutated and found another cunning way to circumvent the effects of the drugs used, we made a new move – we found another combination of drugs. I will never forget the day we doctors gathered in a hotel room with Steve to review the genetic sequencing of his cancer.

Advertising on Forbes

This process is not at all as straightforward as one might think. The interpretation of a ready-made genetic profile is a rather subjective thing, but even the sequencing process itself is also ambiguous.Even the best sequencers from different institutions can produce slightly different genetic portraits of the same patient – which is exactly what happened to Steve. After berating us for using Microsoft PowerPoint instead of Apple Keynotes for the presentation, Steve learned that Harvard University and Johns Hopkins University received slightly different DNA tests for his tumor. This made our strategy even more complex: we had to get together to review the molecular data and negotiate future plans.

It’s a shame we weren’t able to save him, or even turn his cancer into a chronic, molecularly controlled disease so he could live longer and eventually die from something else. I believe that one day cancer will become as controllable as arthritis or type 1 diabetes, which people can live with for years before dying, say, from an age-related heart attack or stroke. Imagine being able to edit not only your own genes to live longer, but also the genes of cancer to stop its development and make it impossible for it to copy

yourself.From this point of view, genes are the instructions for building your body, encoded in DNA. Cancer “works” by using defective genes that allow “bad” cells containing these genes to block their own death or to continually divide, creating naughty cells that cripple body tissue. In general, molecular anti-cancer therapy will be like proofreading our personal “document” in order to correct all mistakes and typos, and this proofreading will help us live longer. Cancer will turn from a death sentence to a life sentence.

How to deal with jealousy: advice from a Moscow psychologist

Jealousy is one of the most common reasons for women to turn to psychologists. Many women tend to experience a constant painful state of inner fear, fear of losing a significant object for them. According to experts, to one degree or another, jealousy is present in everyone. We can be jealous of friends, colleagues, family members, it all depends on the degree of emotional closeness. What is jealousy and where does it come from, says Nina Kizrina, a psychologist at the Nadezhda branch of the Crisis Center for Helping Women and Children.

Bring peace back to the family

Tatiana, 32, turned to the Crisis Center for Helping Women and Children. She has been married to Mikhail for 12 years, her husband holds a leadership position and spends a lot of time at work.

Until June 2020, the woman had no idea that her husband could cheat on her. But after the long and happy marriage of her best friend collapsed in front of her eyes because of treason, Tatyana became seriously worried.In just a few weeks, she twisted herself so that she could not sleep a wink. The woman began to think that Mikhail had been deceiving her for a long time. This is how endless surveillance of her husband began, and over time this led to frequent conflicts in the family, which did not exist before. Tatyana realized that unreasonable jealousy would not lead to good, and turned to professional psychologists for help.

“The psychologist has developed a plan for individual conversations. Meetings with Tatiana took place once or twice a week for three months.In the process of work, we managed to restore the emotional background, remove obsessive and anxious thoughts, harmonize the relationship between spouses and return peace of mind to the family, ”- says the specialist.

What is jealousy

Jealousy is a vivid, negative, emotional feeling of possessiveness, reinforced by selfishness, the desire to completely control another person, which is usually expressed in distrust, suspicion, painful doubts about loyalty and love.

Psychologists distinguish three types of jealousy: rational, irrational, delirium of jealousy.

• Rational jealousy arises when there really is a real threat to lose the object of love.
• Irrational jealousy is not connected with reality and is based mainly on imagination and fantasy. It occurs in people with vivid imaginations who suffer from inferiority complexes who have suffered mental trauma in childhood.
• Delirium of jealousy – inadequate, unreasonable jealousy, reaching mental pathology.Basically, this type of jealousy occurs in people with mental disabilities (schizophrenia, paranoid disorder, alcoholism, drug addiction).

How jealousy is born

The feeling of jealousy is formed in the period from one to three years. In a family, a child learns how to interact with each other, what parental relationships should be. The kid sees how mom and dad communicate, take care of each other, solve problems.

As a rule, a jealous woman in most cases chooses a man as her husband who will stimulate this feeling.The origins of the causes of jealousy come from parent-child relationships – lack of love in childhood, physical or sexual abuse, genetic predisposition, childhood psychological trauma. Growing up, a jealous woman on an unconscious level begins to play her scenario from childhood – the trauma of rejection, fearing its repetition. Later, such behavior acts as a form of prevention of betrayal.

“ The reasons for jealousy may be competition between brothers / sisters who claim a special status from their parents; identifying oneself with the cheated parent when the other parent cheats; dysfunctional relationships in the parental family – alcoholism, physical abuse, betrayal of a parent of the opposite sex ”, – says the specialist.

The reasons for jealousy in an older age are self-doubt, low self-esteem in sexual terms, the presence of an inferiority complex, uselessness, underestimation of one’s own abilities and capabilities. Also, the reasons for jealousy can be emotional dependence, fear of losing an object of love or loneliness, an excessive sense of ownership, an unlimited right to possess another person.

One of the options for the manifestation of jealousy is sadomasochism. Experiences of jealousy here are closely connected with self-teaching, with manifestations of masochistic tendencies.

“ The jealous one gets a kind of pleasure from the torment experienced during constant surveillance, looking for evidence of her partner’s betrayal,” – Svetlana notes.

An important reason for jealousy is the neurotic need for control. If a jealous woman misses the opportunity to control her partner, then she begins to panic, jealousy increases significantly.

Another reason for jealousy is the partner’s provocative behavior. In this case, the partner unconsciously provokes jealousy in order to get “proof of love”, focusing on the formula “jealous means love.”Therefore, such women always have a dramatic relationship with a partner, she constantly needs confirmation of love. This indicates a high degree of codependency.

“If there is silence at home, there are no manifestations on the part of her husband, declarations of love, scandals and manifestations of jealousy, then she becomes unbearable – she needs an emotional shake-up, relaxation, which she used to receive in a dysfunctional parental family,” says the psychologist .

How to get rid of jealousy

1. If you decide to fight this negative and destructive feeling, then always proceed from the idea that your partner is faithful to you.Continuing to think about the fact that he is cheating on you, you can never cope with jealousy.
2. Realize that the reason for your jealousy lies not in the actions of your partner, but in your own fears of the horrors that your imagination draws: betrayal, betrayal, loneliness.
3. Having realized that the reason for your jealousy is fears and complexes, do not expect your partner to do something magical, from which jealousy will be removed as if by hand. Will not remove. The only person who can pull you out of the swamp of jealousy before it completely destroys you completely is yourself.
4. Replacement of fear. Another fear works best with fear. Stop being afraid that your beloved will cheat on you, start fearing that with your suspicions, scenes of jealousy and tantrums, you will finally destroy your relationship. When you are really afraid of it, the feeling of jealousy will leave you forever.

If you find it difficult to cope with feelings of jealousy on your own, sign up for a consultation with professional psychologists. The specialists of “My Family Center” and “Crisis Center for Helping Women and Children” will help you in such a difficult situation.

Press Service of the Department of Labor and Social Protection of the Population of the City of Moscow

Publications in the media about MDT

30/09/21

August, 2021

Magazine “Caravan of stories”

Marina Pork

28/09/21

Rosbalt-Petersburg

Nikita Strogoff

22/09/21

Elizaveta Ronginskaya

No. 5, 2021

Strastnoy Boulevard, 10

Evgeny Sokolinsky

21/05/21

Petersburg Theater Journal (Blog)

Elizaveta Loseva

13/05/21

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Irina Nacharova

12/05/21

Olga Egoshina

12/05/21

Zhanna Zaretskaya

08/05/21

Arkady Ostrovsky

15/04/21

Independent newspaper

Galina Kovalenko

01/04/21

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

24/03/21

Russian newspaper

Svetlana Mazurova

23/02/21

Alena Palatchenko

14/01/21

# 1, 2021

Kristina Matvienko

18/12/20

Alena Karas

10/12/20

Alla Shenderova

06/12/20

Independent newspaper

Galina Kovalenko

03/12/20

Petersburg theater magazine, Blog

Marina Dmitrevskaya

01/12/20

Arguments of the week

Tatiana Moskvina

29/11/20

EXPERT ONLINE

Olga Komok

27/11/20

Olga Egoshina

27/11/20

DOG Magazine

Natalia Efendieva

27/11/20

DELOVOY PETERSBURG

Olga Komok

24/11/20

SAINT PETERSBURG Vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

24/11/20

Zhanna Zaretskaya

23/11/20

Sergey Nikolaevich

19/11/20

Elizaveta Ronginskaya

18/11/20

Natalia Efendieva

18/11/20

Ninel Ismailova

17/11/20

Nina Agisheva-Nikolaevich

Magazine “Scene” № 2 (124) 2020

Elizaveta Ronginskaya

08/10/20

“New continent”

Irina Epifanova

14/05/20

“Russian newspaper”

Irina Korneeva

15/03/20

RG.RU / Russian newspaper

Tatiana Tkach

04/03/20

Sofia Kozich

01/03/20

Russian newspaper

Svetlana Mazurova

22/02/20

Sofya Alimova

27/02/20

Saint Petersburg Vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

10/02/20

Art – magazine OKOLO

Natalia Starodubtseva

12/02/20

Petersburg diary

10/02/20

Dialogue of generations

Tatiana Presnyakova

31/01/20

Independent newspaper

Galina Kovalenko

24/01/20

Business Petersburg

Olga Komok

30/01/20

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

31/01/20

Dog Magazine

Natalia Efendieva

21/01/20

Sofia Kozich

27/01/20

Internet portal “Flying Critic”

Alexey Goncharenko

18/01/20

Russian newspaper

Svetlana Mazurova

21/01/20

Petersburg theater magazine (Blog)

Andrey Kirillov

12/12/19

No. 14

Irina Nacharova – Valery Galendeev

No. 3 (89) 2017

Petersburg theater magazine

M.Dmitrevskaya – K. Rappoport

27/09/19

Italy, Parma

26/09/19

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

16/06/19

“7 iasi”

(“7 days”)

Romania, Sibiu

Kalin Chobotar

02/07/19

Romania, Sibiu

Doina Papp

19/06/19

No. 975

“Observer Cultural”

Romania, Sibiu

Yulia Popovichi

19/06/19

“Observer Cultural”

Romania, Sibiu

Silvia Dumitrache

18/06/19

Theater online magazine “Yorick”

Romania, Sibiu

Alina Epinjak

21/06/19

Time Out London

UK, London

Andrzej Lukovsky

23/06/19

Artsdesk Internet portal

UK, London

Tom Birkeno

22/06/19

UK, London

Dave Hollander

22/06/19

Telegraph newspaper

UK, London

Claire Alfria

22/06/19

Guardian newspaper

UK, London

Michael Billington

21/06/19

UK, London

16/05/19

UK, London

Margarita Baskakova-Basker

14/05/19

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

14/05/19

RUSSIAN NEWSPAPER

Irina Korneeva

14/05/19

Sergey Nikolaevich

14/05/19

Marina Tokareva

14/05/19

Olga Egoshina

14/05/19

Theater, Tass, Izvestia, Petersburg Diary

14/06/18

USA

Carol Rocamora

08/06/18

USA

Ross Sayer

10/06/18

USA

Charles Wright

08/06/18

USA

Laura Collins-Hughes

12/03/18

Independent newspaper

Galina Kovalenko

17/12/18

Kazan magazine

Ekaterina Kalinina

02/02/18

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Bobrova

29/11/18

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

19/11/18

Kommersant Ogonyok

Andrey Arkhangelsky

19/11/18

Russia, Kazan

Ayrat Nigmatullin

25/11/18

Russia, Kazan

Ayrat Nigmatullin

23/10/18

Marina Tokareva

21/10/18

Independent newspaper

Galina Kovalenko

12/07/18

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

09/06/18

Petersburg theater magazine.blog

Irina Pavlova

No. 6, 2017

Dmitry Rodionov – Lev Dodin

11/07/17

Sergey Nikolaevich

09/05/18

UK, London

Daniel Amir

09/05/18

UK, London

Sara Crompton

10/05/18

UK, London

Domenic Maxwell

11/05/18

UK, London

Paul Goud

10/05/18

UK, London

Michael Billington

04/05/18

BBC: Russian service

Alexander Kahn

07/05/18

Porusski Online Magazine

Alena Moroz

13/04/18

Russia, Moscow

Olga Fedyanina

10/04/18

Diana Dzis

24/11/17

Internet portal Controscene

Italy / Milan

Enrico Fiore

24/11/17

Internet portal RUMORSZENA

(Noise Behind Scene)

Italy / Milan

Claudia Provvedeni

24/11/17

Internet portal Kultvik

Italy / Milan

Sylvia Belfanti and Mattia L.Palm

26/11/17

Republic newspaper

Italy / Milan

Anna Bandetti

17/11/17

Zoya Igumnova

15/09/17

Zhanna Zaretskaya

19/05/17

“St. Petersburg Vedomosti”

14/09/17

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

29/06/17

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

22/06/17

Russian newspaper

Olga Strauss

24/05/17

Russian newspaper

Irina Korneeva

15/05/17

Olga Egoshina

17/05/17

Independent newspaper

Galina Kovalenko

12/05/17

Zhanna Zaretskaya

28/04/17

Andrew White

28/04/17

USA, Washington

Robert Michael Oliver

27/04/17

Washington Post

USA, Washington

Nelson Presley

18/04/17

Marina Davydova

01/02/06

Neva time

Victoria Aminova

Garcia Lorca.RU

Evgeny Sokolinsky

20/07/04

Evening Petersburg

Zhanna Zaretskaya

No. 34-35 (736-737), October-November 2004

David Zolotnitsky

3-30 January 2005

TimeOut Petersburg

M.B.

5/2004

BEPA SHURGAYA-VEREYSKAYA

No. 4-5

Pedagogical news

Marina Drobysheva

31/03/02

The newspaper “On the bottom”

Tatiana Dzhurova

22/07/09

Elena Skulskaya

15/03/02

Business Petersburg

Elena Alekseeva

11/08/00

Evening Petersburg

Tatiana Tkach

02/08/00

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Irina Tsimbal

14/06/12

Poster.Petersburg

Zhanna Zaretskaya

10/02/12

No. 20

Business Petersburg

Dmitry Tsilikin

No. 11

Theater city

Elizaveta Ronginskaya

24/01/13

New news

Olga Egoshina

07/07/16

Independent newspaper

Galina Kovalenko

08/06/09

Andrey Pronin

29/05/09

Tatiana Dzhurova

09/06/09

New news

Olga Egoshina

16/12/95

No. 49

Boris Lvov-Anokhin

13/01/96

Neva time

Natalia Krymova

Moscow Observer

Marina Zabolotnyaya

29/09/85

T.Otyugova

27/12/74

T. Otyugova

17/02/72

Lev Dodin

No. 31

Business management

Nikita Eliseev

20/05/16

Alexandra Zerkaleva

29/01/16

Svetlana Sidorova

03/03/16

Boston Globe Newspaper

Don Acoin

03/03/16

Internet portal “South Critic”

Jack Crab

04/03/16

TheArtEry

Jeremy Godwin

06/03/16

cultural portal Joyce’s Choices

USA, Boston

Joyce Kulhawik

06/03/16

Internet magazine “Art-Fuz”

Helen Epstein

01/11/16

Romania / Bucharest

Gabriela Lupu

22/02/16

USA, Brooklyn

Carol Rocamora

22/02/16

USA, Brooklyn

Diana Barth

19/02/16

Carol Rocamora

19/02/16

USA, New York

Zachary Stewart

06/12/16

Zhanna Zaretskaya

18/05/16

Petersburg Theater magazine, blog

Yana Postovalova

20/05/16

Tamara Larina

09/06/16

Saint Petersburg vedomosti

Elena Alekseeva

18/04/16

Marina Tokareva

18/04/16

New news

Olga Egoshina

14/04/16

Independent newspaper

Galina Kovalenko

14/04/16

Zhanna Zaretskaya

13/04/16

Russian newspaper

Irina Korneeva

20/04/16

Roman Dolzhansky

13/04/16

St. Petersburg.RU

Alexandra Boykova

16/03/15

Nevsky theater

Vladimir Kantor

13/03/15

Zhanna Zaretskaya

05/06/07

“Evening Kazan” / № 88 (3446)

Aisylu Kadyrova

13/10/05

“Youth of Estonia”

Eteri Kekelidze

21/03/00

“Moscow News”

A.Smelyansky

07/03/00

“Nezavisimaya Gazeta”, No. 42 (2104)

G. Zaslavsky

17/09/86

“Literary newspaper”

E.Surkov

25/02/86

M. Dmitrevskaya

13/01/86

V. Nevelsky

23/07/85

“Soviet culture”

A.Smelyansky

01/10/15

Russian Reporter

Russia

Elena Smorodinova

17/02/03

Theater superintendent

Russia

Olga Egoshina

06/04/01

Independent newspaper

Russia

Marina Zabolotnyaya

25.05-31.05.2006

CulturePortal

Russia

Nelly ISMAILOVA

2004, No. 36

Petersburg Theater Journal

2002, No. 9

Russia

Valery Galendeev

14/05/09

Neva time

Russia

Elena Dobryakova, Vladimir Zheltov

2010.No. 1-2.

Stanislavsky magazine

Russia

Grigory Zaslavsky

14/05/14

Saint Petersburg Vedomosti

Russia

Elena Alekseeva

15/11/12

Russia

Zhanna Zaretskaya

14/05/14

Russia

Zhanna Zaretskaya

2014 No. 6-7

Nevsky theater

Russia

Vladimir Kantor

2004, No. 6

Theater life

Russia

Galina Lapkina

16/07/11

Neva time

Russia

Alexander Belinsky

Tatiana Vlasova

19/06/15

Business Petersburg

Russia

Dmitry Tsilikin

16/06/15

Petersburg Theater Journal

Russia

Elena Mamchur

03/06/15

Arguments and Facts

Russia

Elena Petrova

20/05/15

Independent newspaper

Russia

Galina Kovalenko

14/05/15

New news

Russia

Olga Egoshina

24/04/15

“Evening Petersburg”

Russia

Zhanna Zaretskaya

01/04/15

“Arguments of the week”

Tatiana Moskvina

27/02/15

Russia

Roman Dolzhansky

23/02/15

Kommersant Ogonyok

Russia

Ekaterina Danilova

10/10/14

“La Repubblica”

(La Republika)

Italy

Sara Chiappori

09/10/14

Corriere della Sera

Italy

Franco Cordelli

01/10/14

Neva time

Russia

Katerina Pavlyuchenko

24/09/14

Russia

Marina Tokareva

24/09/14

Arguments and Facts

Russia

Elena Petrova

23/09/14

“Novye Izvestia”

Russia

Olga Egoshina

23/09/14

Saint Petersburg Vedomosti

Russia

Elena Alekseeva

22/09/14

Independent newspaper

Russia

Galina Kovalenko

14/05/14

“Fontanka.RU”

Russia

Zhanna Zaretskaya

02/04/14

Russia

Zaretskaya Zhanna

31/03/14

New news

Russia

Olga Egoshina

28/03/14

Russia

Marina Tokareva

27/03/14

Independent newspaper

Russia

Galina Kovalenko

27/03/14

Saint Petersburg Vedomosti

Russia

Elena Alekseeva

27/03/14

Russian newspaper

Russia

Irina Korneeva

26/03/14

Neva time

Russia

Ekaterina Pavlyuchenko

26/03/14

Russia

Dmitry Tsilikin

16/01/14

“Moscow News”

Russia

Anna Gordeeva

14/11/13

New news

Russia

Olga Egoshina

13/11/13

Russia

Natalia Kurova

12/11/13

Independent newspaper

Russia

19/09/13

TVNZ

Russia

16/08/13

Business Petersburg

Russia

05/07/13

Petersburg Theater Journal

Russia

Nikolay Pesochinsky

26/06/13

Neva time

Russia

Katerina Pavlyuchenko

21/06/13

Business Petersburg

Russia

Dmitry Tsilikin

18/06/13

Russia

Anastasia Kim

29/05/13

Culture online.Poland

Poland, Warsaw

Nadia

22/05/13

Poland, Warsaw

Mikolaj Kozak

14/05/13

Arguments of the week

Russia

Ekaterina Ometsinskaya

13/05/13

Russia

Anastasia Kim

28/03/13

Arguments of the week

Russia

Tatiana Moskvina

20/03/13

Saint Petersburg Vedomosti

Russia

Elena Alekseeva

18/03/13

Russia

Anastasia Kim

03/15/13

Sleepless on stage

Russia

Elena Gerusova

16/02/13

Russia

Zhanna Zaretskaya

16/02/13

Business Petersburg

Russia

Dmitry Tsilikin

15/02/13

Neva time

Russia

Katerina Pavlyuchenko

15/02/13

Newspaper “Kommersant”, №28 (5059)

Russia

Elena Gerusova

14/02/13

Saint Petersburg Vedomosti

Russia

Elena Alekseeva

14/02/13

Russia

Marina Tokareva

13/02/13

Live magazine Art

Russia

Ninel Ismailova

12/02/13

Russia

Oleg Karmunin

12/02/13

“Novye Izvestia”

Russia

Olga Egoshina

11/02/13

Russia

Dmitry Tsilikin

11/02/13

Independent newspaper

Russia

Galina Kovalenko

11/02/13

Russia

Anastasia Kim

31/01/13

Russia

29/12/12

Komsomolskaya Pravda, St. Petersburg

Elena Livesey

15/11/12

Arguments of the week

Russia

Tatiana Moskvina

15/11/12

France

Fabienne Darge

18/10/12

“Novye Izvestia”

Russia

Olga Egoshina

10/10/12

Russia

Marina Tokareva

09/10/12

Neva time

Russia

Katerina Pavlyuchenko

08/10/12

Independent newspaper

Russia

Galina Kovalenko

05/10/12

Russia

Natalia Efendieva

03/10/12

Komersant online

Russia

Elena Gerusova

30/09/12

Russia

Zhanna Zaretskaya

29/09/12

Petersburg Theater Journal

Russia

Nikolay Pesochinsky

10/09/12

Russia

Andrey Vandenko

13/08/12

Business Petersburg

Russia

Dmitry Tsilikin

22/05/12

New news

Russia

Svetlana Rukhlya

20/05/12

Russia

16/05/12

Neva time

Russia

Evgeny Avramenko

29/11/11

Russia

Elena Gerusova

28/11/11

Russia

Marina Tokareva

02/10/11

Italy

Renato Palazzi

01/10/11

Italy

Antonio Stephanie

25/09/11

Italy

Antonio Audio

17/05/11

Saint Petersburg Vedomosti

Russia

Katerina Pavlyuchenko

30/04/11

Russia

Zhanna Zaretskaya

29/04/11

Russia

Elena Gerusova

21/04/11

United States of America

Charles Isherwood

31/03/11

Saint Petersburg Courier

Russia

Ekaterina Ometsinskaya

29/03/11

site of the Maly Drama Theater – Theater of Europe

Russia

Valery Galendeev

24/03/11

Petersburg Theater Magazine blog

Russia

Marina Dmitrevskaya

23/03/11

Russia

Svetlana Mazurova

22/03/11

Russian newspaper

Russia

Irina Korneeva

22/03/11

Russia

Elena Gerusova

19/03/11

Russia

Alisa Nikolskaya

18/03/11

Time Out Saint Petersburg

Russia

Julia Kleiman

16/03/11

TV channel Russia K

Russia

02/02/11

Germany

Daniela Barth

02/02/11

Germany

Monica Nellissen

21/01/11

Brigitte Salino

01/01/11

Screen and stage, No. 6, 2011

Russia

Ekaterina Dmitrievskaya

02/11/10

Planet Beauty.2010. No. 11-12.

Russia

Galina Kovalenko

01/11/10

Russia

Marina Davydova

31/10/10

Russia

Marina Tokareva

19/10/10

Evening Petersburg

Russia

Zaretskaya Zhanna

18/10/10

Russia

Anastasia Kim

14/10/10

New news

Russia

Olga Egoshina

13/10/10

Kommersant, no. 190

Russia

Elena Gerusova

12/10/10

Petersburg theater magazine.Blog

Russia

Alexey Bartoshevich

02/07/10

Official website of the government of the city of Vologda

Russia

Maria Suvorova, Lyudmila Fedotova

08/06/10

Gallery magazine

Israel, Tel Aviv

Michael Handlsalz

29/04/10

newspaper “Kommersant” №76 (4376)

Elena Gerusova

17/04/09

John Freedman

13/04/09

Maria Sedykh

18/02/09

Theater Petersburg, no. 4

Russia

Zhanna Zaretskaya

01/01/09

Petersburg Theater Magazine, no. 51

Russia

Elena Gorfunkel

24/11/08

News time

Russia

Dina Goder

24/11/08

Russian newspaper

Russia

Alena Karas

24/11/08

Russia

Olga Galakhova

24/11/08

“Novye Izvestia”

Russia

Olga Egoshina

22/11/08

Russia

Roman Dolzhansky

02/10/08

Neva time

Russia

Katerina Pavlyuchenko

25/09/08

Russia

Anastasia Kim

24/09/08

Russia

Tatiana Dzhurova

29/05/08

“Kommersant Saint Petersburg”

Roman Dolzhansky

28/05/08

Gleb Sitkovsky

23/05/08

“Evening Petersburg”

Zhanna Zaretskaya

23/05/08

“Nevskoe time”

Ekaterina Pavlyuchenko

16/04/08

Theater Petersburg

Russia

Daria Nikolaeva

10/04/08

Neva time

Russia

Katerina Pavlyuchenko

20/02/08

Petersburg rush hour

Russia

Evgeny Sokolinsky

14/11/07

“Independent newspaper”

Russia

Grigory Zaslavsky

12/11/07

“News time”

Russia

Anna Gordeeva

27/06/07

“Novye Izvestia”

Olga Egoshina

.