Why does queefing occur during intimate moments. How can one prevent queefing during sexual activities. What are the misconceptions surrounding vaginal flatulence. Is queefing a sign of a health issue. How can partners address queefing without embarrassment.

Understanding Queefing: The Science Behind Vaginal Flatulence

Queefing, often referred to as vaginal flatulence, is a natural bodily function that occurs when air becomes trapped in the vagina and is subsequently released. Unlike intestinal gas, queefing is not a result of digestive processes but rather a simple mechanical occurrence. The sound produced during queefing can be similar to flatulence, which often leads to embarrassment or discomfort for many individuals.

How exactly does queefing happen? During sexual activity, exercise, or certain movements, air can enter the vaginal canal. When this trapped air is expelled, it creates the characteristic sound associated with queefing. It’s important to note that this process is entirely normal and does not indicate any health issues or lack of hygiene.

Common Misconceptions About Queefing

• It’s unhygienic or dirty
• Only certain women experience it
• It’s a sign of a loose vagina
• It can be controlled like regular flatulence

These misconceptions often contribute to unnecessary shame or embarrassment surrounding queefing. In reality, it’s a universal experience for individuals with vaginas and is not indicative of any personal shortcomings.

The Role of Sexual Activity in Queefing

Sexual intercourse is one of the most common situations where queefing occurs. During penetrative sex, the in-and-out motion can push air into the vagina. As positions change or when the sexual activity concludes, this trapped air may be released, resulting in a queef.

Do certain sexual positions increase the likelihood of queefing? Indeed, some positions may make queefing more probable. Positions that involve deeper penetration or those that create a seal around the vaginal opening can potentially trap more air, leading to a higher chance of queefing when that air is released.

Positions That May Increase Queefing

1. Doggy style
2. Legs over shoulders
3. Reverse cowgirl
4. Any position with rapid thrusting

It’s crucial to remember that while these positions might increase the chances of queefing, they don’t guarantee it will happen, nor should the possibility deter you from enjoying your preferred sexual activities.

Queefing Beyond the Bedroom: Other Common Scenarios

While sexual activity is a frequent cause of queefing, it’s not the only situation where it can occur. Many women experience queefing during various non-sexual activities, particularly those involving physical movement or changes in body position.

When else might queefing occur? Yoga and other exercise routines, especially those involving inverted positions or pelvic floor engagement, can lead to queefing. Similarly, sudden movements like standing up quickly after sitting for a long period can sometimes result in the release of trapped vaginal air.

Activities That May Trigger Queefing

• Yoga and stretching exercises
• Core workouts and abdominal exercises
• Cycling or spinning classes
• Gynecological exams
• Changing positions while lying down

Understanding that queefing can happen in various scenarios can help normalize the experience and reduce associated embarrassment.

The Impact of Age and Childbirth on Queefing

As women age and experience life events such as childbirth, they may notice changes in the frequency or intensity of queefing. This is often due to changes in the pelvic floor muscles and vaginal tissue elasticity.

Does childbirth increase the likelihood of queefing? In many cases, yes. The process of childbirth can temporarily or permanently alter the shape and muscle tone of the vaginal canal, potentially making it easier for air to become trapped and subsequently released as a queef.

Factors Influencing Queefing in Later Life

• Hormonal changes during menopause
• Weakening of pelvic floor muscles
• Changes in vaginal tissue elasticity
• Multiple childbirths

While these factors may increase the occurrence of queefing, it’s important to remember that it remains a normal bodily function regardless of age or life experiences.

Strategies for Reducing Queefing During Intimate Moments

While queefing is natural and harmless, some individuals may wish to minimize its occurrence, particularly during intimate moments. There are several strategies that can potentially reduce the frequency of queefing, although it’s important to note that complete prevention is not always possible.

Can specific techniques help prevent queefing during sex? While no method is foolproof, certain approaches may help reduce the likelihood of queefing. These include position adjustments, pacing changes, and pelvic floor exercises.

Tips to Minimize Queefing During Sexual Activity

1. Experiment with different sexual positions
2. Slower, more deliberate movements during intercourse
3. Regular pelvic floor exercises (Kegels)
4. Using lubrication to reduce air entry
5. Taking brief pauses to release trapped air

Remember, while these techniques may help, they shouldn’t detract from the enjoyment of sexual experiences. It’s often more beneficial to embrace queefing as a normal part of intimacy rather than striving for complete prevention.

The Psychological Impact of Queefing: Addressing Embarrassment

Despite its naturalness, queefing can cause significant embarrassment for many individuals. This emotional response often stems from societal taboos surrounding bodily functions, especially those related to sexual and reproductive organs.

How can one overcome the embarrassment associated with queefing? The key lies in education, open communication, and a shift in perspective. Understanding that queefing is a common, involuntary bodily function can help alleviate feelings of shame or discomfort.

Steps to Manage Queefing-Related Embarrassment

• Educate yourself and your partner about the physiology of queefing
• Practice open communication about bodily functions
• Use humor to diffuse awkward moments
• Focus on the intimacy and enjoyment of sexual experiences
• Challenge societal stigmas surrounding natural bodily functions

By addressing the psychological aspects of queefing, individuals can work towards a more positive and accepting attitude, enhancing overall sexual confidence and satisfaction.

Queefing and Sexual Health: When to Seek Medical Advice

While queefing is generally harmless, there are rare instances where it might be associated with underlying health conditions. It’s important to be aware of any changes in the frequency, sound, or accompanying symptoms of queefing.

Are there situations where queefing might indicate a health concern? In most cases, no. However, if queefing is accompanied by pain, unusual discharge, or occurs very frequently outside of sexual activity or exercise, it may be worth consulting a healthcare provider.

Potential Health Concerns Related to Queefing

• Vaginal fistulas (abnormal connections between the vagina and other organs)
• Pelvic floor disorders
• Vaginal prolapse
• Recurrent vaginal infections

If you’re concerned about your queefing experiences or notice any unusual symptoms, don’t hesitate to speak with a gynecologist or other healthcare professional for personalized advice and assessment.

Embracing Body Positivity: Normalizing Queefing in Society

Promoting a more open and accepting attitude towards queefing is an important aspect of overall body positivity and sexual health education. By normalizing discussions about natural bodily functions, we can help reduce stigma and empower individuals to feel more comfortable with their bodies.

How can society work towards destigmatizing queefing? Education plays a crucial role. Incorporating comprehensive sexual health information in schools, encouraging open dialogues in relationships, and challenging media representations of “perfect” bodies and sexual experiences can all contribute to a more accepting environment.

Steps Towards Normalizing Queefing

1. Include queefing in comprehensive sex education curricula
2. Encourage open communication between sexual partners
3. Represent diverse body experiences in media and entertainment
4. Support body-positive movements and initiatives
5. Challenge harmful myths and misconceptions about bodily functions

By fostering a more accepting attitude towards queefing and other natural bodily functions, we can contribute to healthier, more positive relationships with our bodies and sexualities.

In conclusion, queefing is a normal, harmless bodily function that affects individuals with vaginas across all ages and life stages. While it can be a source of embarrassment, understanding its causes, exploring prevention strategies, and fostering a more accepting attitude can help alleviate concerns. Remember, our bodies are complex and wonderful, and embracing all aspects of them, including the occasionally noisy ones, is an important part of overall health and well-being.

What It Is, 23 Reasons Why Girls Queef & Secrets to Make It Stop

Queefing. Awkward word; awkward action. Known as vaginal flatulence, this phenomenon has a lot of explaining to do. We’re here to help you find answers!

Welcome to the less-than-charming world of queefing. [Read: 110 MUST-KNOW interesting facts, myths, & strange secrets about sex!]

Imagine that you’re in the middle of a steamy sex romp. You’re having the time of your life. Everything’s going great! Suddenly, a sound emits from your vagina that mirrors the sound of the dreaded fart. What do you do?! Do you laugh, cry, or pretend nothing out of the ordinary happened? Do you roll over and play dead? What in the world just happened?

What is queefing?

While queefing might be known as the vagina’s version of a fart, it really isn’t. It’s more the vagina’s version of making a funny fart sound just for giggles.

A fart happens when your body breaks down food. Queefing is a much simpler process that only occurs when air becomes trapped in a vagina. That’s all it takes. It’s a perfectly normal thing that happens to everybody with a vagina.

The problem with queefing

Although queefing is perfectly natural, it can also be really embarrassing and can even put a damper on things when it happens at the wrong moment. Talk about ruining your rising orgasm!

The REAL trouble with queefs is that they’re irrepressible. You can’t exactly hold one back until you’re a safe distance away from anyone who might be able to hear it.

They just kind of happen out of nowhere, whenever they want to, and you’re forced to deal with the awkward silence that lingers long after the queef has passed. [Read: 15 painfully embarrassing things that happen during sex]

All the details you need to know about queefing

Queefing is an uncomfortable topic for many people, and it can be really annoying when it happens. But there are many things that you should know about queefing before you get all bent out of shape about it.

1.

It’s completely natural

Queefing happens whether you expect it to or not. They’re completely random. It could happen during sex, or it could happen when you stand up after sitting down for a long period of time. They like to make appearances during certain stretches and exercises.

Queefing is a natural bodily function that is completely out of your control.

2. It can even provide some comic relief

Sex can be far too serious sometimes. Just like every good drama movie has to have a bit of comic relief, so does sex!

Queefing can be the comic relief that you need to enjoy your time with your significant other a bit more. Suppress your embarrassment as best you can, and just laugh it off! [Read: How to have great sex with your lover]

3. It doesn’t happen very often at all

Queefing happens MUCH less frequently than farting. Eating is something that you do multiple times every day, but you’re not always getting air trapped in your vagina. If you can survive farts around your partner, you can survive dealing with the occasional appearance of a queef.

4. It most often happens during sex

Sex is a HUGE reason why women queef. When a dude’s member is thrusting in and out of your magic wonder hole over and over again, you can imagine the amount of air that gets pushed in along with it.

When you finally have a moment to shift positions, your vaginal walls move slightly, releasing all that pent-up air. The result is a sometimes horrifyingly fart-like sound. [Read: Embarrassing questions about sex that most of us are too shy to ask]

5. It’s nothing to worry about

Queefing doesn’t mean that you have anything wrong with your lady bits. Bodies are super weird, and they do extremely weird things.

There are fluids, sounds, and smells that come with having a body, so you might as well get used to it.

6. You’re not gross or repulsive if you queef

The idea that a queef is disgusting and gross is tirelessly senseless. It’s air. Just trapped air. In most cases, it’s air that enters your vagina by means of awesome sex, which also isn’t gross.

It’s not some nasty gas that has festered in there for days. Society has put a stigma on queefing only because it sounds like a fart, but that’s where the similarities stop. [Read: How to feel sexy and desirable all the time]

7. Guys don’t actually care

Aside from the first time a guy hears a queef, he’s not likely to be concerned about it in the slightest. There might be a minuscule number of immature idiots that make it something it’s not, but the vast majority of men seem to understand that they put the air in there, and it has to come out somehow.

For some men, it’s even a turn-on! [Read: 20 secret things guys wish girls knew about guys]

8. It happens more often as you get older

Can you even remember a time when your younger self stood up and let out a confusing queef? You probably can’t because it likely didn’t happen.

Queefing requires an open amount of space for air to actually get in. When you’re younger, your vagina isn’t really large enough or exposed enough to take in a lot of air.

There just happens to be a bigger opening as you get older due to the body’s natural aging process, or even having kids, that allows this to happen.

9. It’s not even that embarrassing if you really think about it

The only reason queefs seem to be embarrassing to women is because they sound eerily similar to a fart, which can mortify even the most daring and confident women.

But if you really think about it, queefs are just air. Not gas. Not some foul odor that will wreak havoc on those around you. To top it off, it usually happens because you’re having a good time, and why would you be embarrassed about that?! [Read: Floppies and other awkward things that happen during sex]

10. Queefing does not mean that you’re “loose”

While you may think that having more air that gets into your vagina means that you have a wider opening, this isn’t necessarily the case. The shape of your vagina can also have a lot to do with how much air comes in, and girls with “tight” vaginas can still queef their fair share.

Your vagina actually expands when you’re turned on, regardless of its resting size. [Read: Female masturbation – 17 facts about the naughty secret]

Medical and miscellaneous causes of queefing

Queefing can seem like a giant mystery, but it’s honestly one of the body’s simplest explainable functions. There are a few easy things that can contribute to queefing, but there are also a few medical things to take note of.

1. Inserting tampons, diaphragms, or menstrual cups

Inserting menstrual tools or birth control can cause queefing the same way that sex does.

Putting anything in your vagina means you might be sending some air with it, and that air has to be released somehow.

2. Exercises like yoga, stretching, or core workouts

Being physically active puts your body in all kinds of weird positions, especially if you do a lot of stretch-based workouts like yoga. [Read: Want something super hot? Try some sexy yoga]

Certain movements open your body up more than others, and this invites air to become trapped in your vaginal canal. When you move into another position, the trapped air escapes by way of a queef.

3. Vaginal births

Giving birth does a lot to a body. One of those things is that it loosens or weakens the pelvic floor muscles, making you more prone to queefing.

4. Pelvic floor dysfunction

Pelvic floor dysfunction essentially translates to having a weak pelvic floor. As mentioned, pregnancy and childbirth can cause a weaker pelvic floor, but it can also be hereditary. [Read: Sex during early pregnancy – 15 must-know facts to play it safe]

There are all sorts of symptoms that come with having pelvic floor dysfunction. You might be prone to frequent UTIs, leaking pee, or painful sex, and excessive queefing can actually be a symptom. It’s important to talk to your doctor if you think there’s a serious issue.

5. Pelvic organ prolapse

A pelvic organ prolapse occurs when a pelvic organ slips down from its normal spot and kind of bulges into the vagina. It sounds absolutely terrifying, but it isn’t life-threatening. It can cause some pain and discomfort, however, so you’ll want to know how to identify and treat it.

Symptoms include pain or feeling numb during sex, feeling like something might be coming down into your vagina, or even seeing or feeling a bulge.

The good news is that symptoms of pelvic organ prolapse can often improve with pelvic floor exercises. [Read: Kegel exercises – why both men and women should do them]

6. Vaginal fistula

There are many different types of vaginal fistulas, but it’s basically an abnormal opening that connects your vagina to another organ. For example, a vesicovaginal fistula is an opening between the vagina and bladder and makes a woman unable to control her urine at all.

Vaginal fistulas can be brought on by childbirth, traumatic injuries, or abdominal surgeries, among other things. They can be painful, bring on fevers, and cause vomiting and diarrhea. Queefing is an additional symptom.

Some fistulas are able to heal on their own, but many do require surgery.

How to stop queefing

Even though queefing is a normal bodily function, there may be some situations in which you’d simply prefer that it didn’t occur. There’s really no way to guarantee that you’ll never queef again, but there are a few things you can do or not do to avoid it.

1. Don’t have a guy pull out all the way during sex

The more often you switch positions, and the further your man pulls out during sex, the higher chance you have of air getting into your lady bits. [Read: 17 most intimate sex positions & tips to feel romantic while making love]

Try to reduce extreme position changes, and don’t let him pull out all the way a whole lot. These things can definitely help to reduce your queef frequency.

2. Don’t do it doggy style

Doggy style leaves girls a little too vulnerable to queefing. As awesome as this sex position is at hitting the G-spot for ladies, our vaginas are more open and straight. This provides a perfect little canal for air to be pumped into us by a dude’s piece.

Because of how open a woman’s body is during doggy style, the risk of queefing is significantly higher than in any other position. [Read: Ways to make doggy style your favorite sex position]

3. Avoid other positions that you notice may cause queefing

Every person is different, and every vagina is unique. Every pelvic floor is different, and some are weaker than others.

This means that there may be other positions that cause queefing more for you than for someone else. Avoid these when you notice them, and stick to ones that keep you queef-free.

4. Keep the sex slower

Fast sex can push more air into the vagina, which can cause a lot of queefing. Keeping the sex a little slower will reduce the amount of air that’s able to trap itself in your vagina AND give you a better opportunity to feel every inch in a way that you just can’t with speedier sex. [Read: Slow sex – 16 steamy reasons it’s so sexy & tips to experience it yourself]

5. Finger yourself between sex positions

Not only can this be a major turn-on for a guy who loves seeing women please themselves, but you’re also subtly letting any air out that was thrust into you in a discreet manner.

If you’re able to release the air slowly rather than rapidly by quickly changing positions, you’re far less likely to queef. [Read: 20 hot sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed]

6. Perform kegel exercises

Kegel exercises strengthen your pelvic floor, which supports a host of other body parts. Having a stronger pelvic floor helps control several bodily functions, one of which is queefing.

Kegel exercises can be done anywhere at any time! The tricky part is finding the right muscles to exercise. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop your urine during midstream. The muscles you used to do that are the same muscles you should exercise. [Read: 48 sexy secrets to have better sex & explore new things to try in bed]

All you have to do is clench those muscles tightly for a few seconds at a time, release, and repeat. A good practice is to do this exercise for around ten repetitions two or three times a day.

7. Use lube during sex

Lube is always a good friend to have, but it can be especially useful if you have some queefing issues. Try finding a thicker oil-based lube. This could help to hold your vaginal walls together a little more, which will reduce the amount of air that’s able to enter your vagina.

Queefing is honestly the last thing a girl should worry about during sex. It’s completely normal and should only be a concern if you believe it’s a sign of an underlying issue. Practice some of our tips, and rest easy by queefing less!

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What Is Vaginal Flatulence? Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Prevention

Common Questions & Answers

What is a queef?

It’s the (very common) emission of trapped air from the vagina.

What causes vaginal farts?

Sexual intercourse, pelvic exams, exercise, pregnancy, and menopause can all cause vaginal farts. Sometimes the anatomical structure of your pelvic floor may make you more likely to expel trapped air from your vagina.

When should I worry about vaginal farts?

Vaginal flatulence is perfectly normal, but if it occurs with symptoms like bad-smelling vaginal discharge, frequent UTIs, irritation or pain in the area, or pain during sex, you should see a doctor.

How do you treat vaginal farts?

Since vaginal farts are common, there’s no need to treat them. On rare occasions, however, the flatulence is a sign of a medical issue, such as pelvic organ prolapse or rectovaginal fistulas. Surgery can treat both of those conditions.

Causes and Risk Factors of Vaginal Flatulence

Much of the information compiled on vaginal flatulence — especially on the internet — is anecdotal, and more research would likely offer us a better understanding of what might make some women more likely to queef. With that caveat in mind, there are a number of situations and factors associated with vaginal flatulence, including:

• Sexual Intercourse or Inserting an Object in the Vagina When something is inserted into the vagina, it can displace the air inside. It’s possible to experience vaginal flatulence during a pelvic exam, when a doctor inserts or removes a speculum.
• Exercise or Stretching Movements during exercise can cause air to become trapped inside the vagina. Women often report vaginal flatulence during certain physical activities, such as yoga.
• Pregnancy or Menopause Some women report more episodes of vaginal flatulence during pregnancy or menopause.
• Pelvic Floor Anatomy Everyone’s pelvic floor is slightly unique, and some may be more prone than others to expelling trapped air.

A rare cause of vaginal flatulence is a vaginal fistula. A fistula is an abnormal opening that connects the vagina to another organ, such as your bladder, colon, or rectum. If the fistula is connected to the colon or rectum, it can cause the passage of stool from the vagina. Childbirth, cancer treatments, injury, and certain surgical procedures can lead to the formation of a fistula, but again, it’s highly uncommon. See your doctor if your queefs smell bad, or if you notice an unusual discharge.

Treatment of Vaginal Flatulence

Because vaginal flatulence is a normal occurrence, there’s no need to treat it or seek a remedy for it.

But there may be times when queefing is associated with a medical issue that requires treatment.

Some research has found an association between pelvic organ prolapse and vaginal flatulence, but the evidence is lacking and inconsistent. Prolapse occurs when any of the pelvic organs drop down due to weakness in the supporting structures.

Childbirth and other conditions that put pressure on pelvic tissues can cause this.

If your vaginal flatulence happens to be associated with prolapse, treatment might involve using a pessary — a plastic or rubber circular device that fits into the vagina and supports tissues that were displaced by prolapse — and trying to strengthen your pelvic muscles by performing Kegel exercises.

To perform Kegels, squeeze the muscles you use to stop urinating. Hold this contraction for up to 10 seconds and then relax for 10 seconds, making sure to concentrate on contracting just your pelvic floor muscles, as opposed to your abdominal muscles as well. Try to work up to at least three sets of 10 to 15 repetitions each day. As a side note, do not do Kegels while urinating. This can cause insufficient emptying of the bladder, which can lead to urinary tract infections (UTIs).

Depending on the severity of the prolapse, surgery may be necessary.

You should see your doctor if you have vaginal flatulence paired with more worrying symptoms including:

• Stool or pus coming from your vagina
• Vaginal discharge that smells bad or off
• Frequent vaginal or urinary tract infections
• Irritation or pain in vulva, vagina, or area between vagina and anus
• Pain during sex

If you have these symptoms, queefing could be a sign of a rectovaginal fistula — which is rare.

Research and Statistics: Who Gets Vaginal Flatulence?

Any woman can experience vaginal flatulence. There is some research, however, that suggests certain women may be more prone to it. For instance, a meta-analysis of 15 studies on vaginal flatulence found that women who had delivered babies vaginally often reported occurrences of vaginal flatulence after the fact, but this certainly is not the only factor that can lead to vaginal flatulence.

Plenty of women who have never been pregnant experience vaginal flatulence, too. One study of nearly 1,000 women ages 18 to 80 found that women with low BMI and who are younger have more instances of vaginal flatulence.

Another study found that more than a third of women with pelvic floor disorders reported vaginal flatus (the involuntary passing of gas from the vagina).

Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking

• Amarenco G, Turmel N, Chesnel C, et al. Vaginal Gas: Review. Progés en Urologie. December 2019.
• How Can I Prevent Queefing During Sex? It’s So Embarrassing! Planned Parenthood. April 24, 2020.
• Veisi F, Rezavand N, Zangeneh M, et al. Vaginal Flatus and the Associated Risk Factors in Iranian Women: A Main Research Article. ISRN Obstetrics and Gynecology. May 20, 2012.
• Neels H, Pacquée S, Shek K, et al. Is Vaginal Flatus Related to Pelvic Floor Functional Anatomy? International Urogynecology Journal. December 2020.
• Pelvic Support Problems. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. November 2021.
• Posterior Vaginal Prolapse (Rectocele): Symptoms and Causes. Mayo Clinic. August 10, 2022.
• Posterior Vaginal Prolapse (Rectocele): Diagnosis and Treatment. Mayo Clinic. August 10, 2022.
• Knuttinen M, Yi J, Magtibay J, et al. Colorectal-Vaginal Fistulas: Imaging and Novel Interventional Treatment Modalities. Journal of Clinical Medicine. April 22, 2018.
• Kegel Exercises: A How-To Guide for Women. Mayo Clinic. December 6, 2022.
• Rectovaginal Fistula. Mayo Clinic. January 13, 2023.
• Toxic Shock Syndrome: Symptoms and Causes. Mayo Clinic. March 23, 2022.
• Lau H, Su T, Chen Y, Huang W. The Prevalence of Vaginal Flatus in Women With Pelvic Floor Disorders and Its Impact on Sexual Function. The Journal of Sexual Medicine. March 2021.
• Gas (Flatulence). Harvard Health Publishing. July 1, 2019.

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Is a woman yelling at you? She needs to be rescued immediately. You. — ZERKALO.LV

Dear friend. This article is for men. It is for men and, perhaps, it will help to understand us women a little more, if at all possible. So, dear male friend, I will address you here.

It happens that a man sincerely cannot understand why his woman in this or that situation raises her voice, is capricious or even starts crying. In general, no one is able to understand a woman and a woman’s character. Even the women themselves. Perhaps that is why there is a special and separate topic, like “female friendship”. It is not easy for them with themselves, but even more difficult with the same as they are. Strange, quick-tempered, emotional and easily hurt. Any woman who loves a man or treats him very warmly becomes incredibly vulnerable. To a word, to an action or to the absence of words or actions.

When a woman yells in conversation, this may indicate several factors at once, or separately one of the following. I am not a psychologist. I am a woman, so I know what I am writing about and what I am talking about. (Psychologists know too, don’t get me wrong).

Women, like children, love to say no.
Men, like children, take it seriously.

If a woman screams, know that she has already lost. There was no need to play or compete for this. And it’s not a game at all. Just such a designation of the situation, nothing more. Maybe it seems to you that a woman has such a nature – to dust and raise her voice. Not at all. The woman herself is calm, tender and fragile. Like a flower. No matter how inappropriate or pretentious this comparison seems to you. So – if she screams – she has already lost. In my own eyes, in yours, in the perception of the world as a whole. And she is already uncomfortable and ill from this very fact, and she already needs to be pitied, or even saved. From myself.

A man’s strength lies not only in beating bullies, driving in a nail, or fetching heavy packages from the store. The strength of a man is to be stronger emotionally and to hold a woman in a difficult moment for her. We will not talk now about the causes of a scream or a raised tone, but if this happened, know. It is categorically impossible to continue at the “same pace” as before. This will only aggravate her condition and most likely lead to more screaming or, even worse, tears.

Did she start screaming? Tell her that you didn’t want your words or actions to provoke her into such a tone. What are you doing with it? You take responsibility for her emotional state. You are a man. You are responsible for your woman, both for her smile and for her tears.

Tell her she is beautiful. Just take it and say at the moment when she is angry that she is beautiful, sweet, kind, gentle, smart … Yes, anything, but only good and pleasant, no matter how ridiculous it may seem at first glance.

Hug her. Hold it close to you and don’t say anything about the reason for the “scream”. In no case. Let him scream, break out, fight. Try to be gentle, but don’t let go. Add some kind words. Tell her that she has nothing to worry about and nothing to worry about. Kiss. But not passionately. And gently.

One of the reasons for screaming is fear. Whether in front of you, the situation or yourself. But very often the cause of the cry is panic and not understanding what to do, what to say or how to behave differently. And the defensive reaction works very strange for understanding a man. The woman starts screaming. Perhaps, subconsciously, we hope that in this way we will “scare” in return and we will be left “alone”. What it is? Stop talking that causes a similar reaction in her. Stop activities that lead to such a reaction. You must be the first to stop. Even if she keeps screaming or talking loudly, don’t worry. Very soon the “fire” will go out, the main thing is not to throw “firewood” into it. She herself will understand that she was wrong. Apologize yourself. She will draw her own conclusions. She will try to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Don’t scold, don’t dig, don’t pick. Hug, caress, have pity.

Always ask yourself – “how long has it been since we were in a restaurant?”, “when was the last time I took her to the cinema?”, “when was the last time I gave her a gift for nothing?”, “when was the last time I spoiled her ?”, “when was the last time I asked her out on a date.” If none of the items have been for a week, know that she is worried that you might not like you.

Shouting is dissatisfaction with oneself. Not by you, but by yourself. Often a woman starts screaming when she starts to feel bad, unnecessary, ugly, wrong, or not the way she wants to be just for you. The problem of screaming is not at all in you, but in herself, and a woman at this moment needs to be reassured. Again. They calmed her down and said that everything was fine with her. That she is loved, desired and needed the way she is. You will be surprised, but if you tell her all this and make it clear, she will quickly calm down, because she will feel safe.

If you want her to hug you, hug her first. Dominant man.

A yell or a loud voice may be the reason you can’t hear her. In her opinion. Many people, and it does not matter what gender they are, speak louder when it seems to them that they will be “better understood and heard” if they say something louder. Remember the jokes about tourists at resorts who shout to the waiter in their own language, being sure that if they speak to the whole restaurant, they will definitely be understood. The question “what exactly do you think I can’t understand” and the second question “what exactly needs to happen for you to believe that I heard you” can greatly facilitate the situation. Stop. Think. What exactly does she want to tell you? Why is it so important to her?

She screams because she thinks she is doing something wrong. Not so – for you. And the reason for the cry is, again, dissatisfaction with oneself. And again, she needs to be saved from herself. She failed when she tried for you. Yes, now she’s making things even worse. But your strength lies in the strength to help her return to her comfort zone and be who she is. It is hard for a woman to admit and understand that she is “not perfect” in relation to her lover. And every man knows that the ideal is ideal, that he is not ideal. Remind her why she is dear and important to you and what you value in her.

There is nothing more fickle than a woman’s rejection.

Whims, grumblings and similar behavior are childish. Do not forget that every woman is, first of all, a “girl”. For some, this is hidden deep inside, for others on the surface, for others it manifests itself periodically, but the “girl” lives in every adult woman, no matter what position she holds, no matter how strong she seems. If she is naughty in front of you, you won’t believe it. She trusts you. She allows herself to be weaker and you to be stronger. Because it was you who was entrusted with “pouted lips”, “offended lowered eyelashes”, “grunting tone”. The times of dragons and mammoths are far in the past. But her whim – this is the mammoth that you need to get. Her sad face – this is the dragon with which you were given the opportunity to fight. Caprice is trust. Just do not confuse with sitting on the neck and manipulation. It’s completely different. In this article, we are talking about a woman to whom you are dear and who loves you. A whim is a manifestation of weakness, and just at that moment your strength is needed again. Hug, caress, pamper.

If she suddenly stops talking, 99% of you need to hug her.

If she left the room but didn’t close the door behind her, 99% can follow her. But change the conversation or intonation. Or stop talking altogether. For example, “now is probably not the best time, we will return to this when you yourself want and if you want. ” Surprisingly, this will happen much faster than you think. Or it will not happen, but with an unrealistic probability that it will never happen again.

If she closed the door behind her, never break in without knocking. If you don’t hear the answer “no” to the third question – “is it possible to enter” – in 99% it is possible and even necessary.

If a woman “leaves” a conversation physically, never continue it at the same moment. 99% when she calms down she will return to him herself.

If a woman said “I’m sorry, I understand, this will not happen again” – this is equivalent to a 100% confession of her guilt. If she pleaded guilty, she feels guilty. She needs to be saved again and urgently reminded her that she is wonderful.

A woman does not always do something consciously. She feels. If you don’t shout at the moment of anger, but are calm, don’t be surprised if she tells you “don’t shout at me.” She feels your condition. Always take this into account.

The most terrible horror for a normal woman is to become the one who “constantly screams.” The second terrible horror is to be bad in the eyes of a man. When she screams, she feels bad and the one who screams. From that she screams even more and becomes even worse. Vicious circle. She needs to be rescued urgently.

Not digging into the cause of the scandal is like giving women a chance to save face. Digging up the cause of the scandal when she doesn’t want to is akin to continuing the scandal. It is in your power to help a woman save her face. You have no idea how important it is to her.

“Why did you do that” is one of the most terrifying questions you can ever hear. Why … Not why, but because it happened. For a man, this is a disaster, not an answer. But what should a woman do if it really happens that “it happened so”. A woman acts not only according to logic, but also according to feelings. It happens that she “felt” that she needed to do just that – she did. Sometimes it is called intuition, but in women it is highly developed and they listen to it very often and, believe me, it saves more often than vice versa. Not everything and not always can be explained. Not everything needs to be asked. The strength of a man is also to accept a woman as a fact, along with all actions. It’s raining – it’s accepted as a fact. The sun is shining, too. A woman like this is, as it were, also one of the facts. We’re talking about the one you love. So, she will always try to do everything for you so that you are happy. Talk about what makes you happy – she will hear. Don’t fight evil. Act through good and “evil” itself will go away.

Dear friend, if you want to see a real woman next to you, then she will be more emotional than those you meet at work. If she expresses strong “positive” emotions when things are going well, don’t be surprised that she will express her strongest emotions when things are “bad”. If she laughs out loud when you joke, then keep in mind that she will sob at the top of her lungs if you offend her. Iron ladies will not express either of these emotions. And yes, there are no iron ones. There is another female attitude. If she sincerely loves you or she likes you madly, that’s it. There will no longer be any iron lady from her in relation to you. Accept the “girl” with all the consequences.

Be more indulgent to women’s whims. Is it true. Treat it with a smile and find a special charm in it. It’s real. Yes, it is also possible to kill a woman in a woman … Then there will be no whims. But no real man has the right to do this.

If it happened that not so long ago she suffered a great loss, be a million times more tolerant. The fear of losing a loved one again is akin to madness. Due to panic fear, various emotional outbursts can occur that seem extremely illogical and not related to you personally. An acute reaction to disagreement or refusal, an acute reaction to the lack of attention at a time when it is urgently needed. An acute reaction to the prohibition of noisy behavior or self-expression in self-indulgence – all this should be done very carefully and delicately. Especially if she received such attention and attitude from someone who left her life. An acute reaction to your dissatisfaction is the fear that you, too, can leave her. If at the moment of loss she is with you, take care of her like never before. And do not dig for reasons to increase your emotional state. Maybe she just heard the rejection at the moment when she most needed approval. Although women are frank, they will never say or admit much. Especially about the secret and sore. Remember if nothing happened to her during the last six months. Sometimes the emotional state persists for up to a year or more. Depending on the scale of the tragedy. Help her survive and support during a difficult period, even if she doesn’t talk about it out loud. Of course, if you are ready with it and into the fire and through copper pipes. This is also the strength of a man.

And finally.

Faina Ranevskaya

Take care of your beloved women. After all, while she scolds, worries and freaks out – she loves, but as soon as she starts to smile and be indifferent – you have lost her.

If a woman did cry… I’ll talk about that a little later. For now, I’ll just leave this here. Sometimes I regret that I turned off comments on the blog. Your friend, Elena Tonova.

Audrey Hepburn

Tears can mean more than a smile. Because we smile at almost everyone in a row, and cry only because of those we love

photo in the article – Chinese artist An Hee

Why do women scream … or the article is about nothing.

Epidural anesthesia in childbirth – is it an achievement of civilization, a gift from science to women, or an escape from oneself? Why do we cry in childbirth? Is this cry always for help? Why are the natural manifestations of the body in childbirth so spontaneous and associated with pain? Tamara Sadovaya, a midwife with 20 years of experience, who teaches childbirth preparation courses and the founder of the Center for Traditional Obstetrics, talks about this – emotionally and very . .. femininely:

“Some time ago I participated in an event at one of the best obstetric clinics in Moscow and the region. It was organized for expectant mothers who decide on the option of their own childbirth. I presented alternative obstetrical views, which confirmed a pleasant fact – even such “oddities” as gentle births have a place here. It was a sincere conversation about views on where and how a woman wants to give birth.

I openly shared my experience of my own home birth. The main disagreement with my “opponent” – a respected and well-known obstetrician (in the recent past, the head of the Moscow obstetric world, and today – a very successful businessman) was the topic of pain in childbirth. I use the word “opponent” in quotation marks, because my position, experience, and style of thinking could not become a weighty alternative in this conversation. Rather, we presented completely opposite points of view, based on professional experience and philosophy of life.

The doctor said a phrase that any doctor with extensive experience in obstetrics can say with complete sincerity and justification. It was about the need to use epidural anesthesia in childbirth. “After all, women in childbirth scream!” – was proclaimed by my respected “opponent”. This phrase baffled me, because you can’t argue, women in childbirth really scream! Therefore, anyone who suddenly doubts the need for epidural anesthesia in childbirth immediately becomes a tormentor of women, a monster of the human race – this picture was quickly completed by my mind.

I was puzzled. In obstetric practice, I am often guided by intuition, in a certain sense, “bodily understanding” of female nature and its resources. Based on this experience – female and obstetric – I can only agree – yes, women in childbirth scream! Women generally tend to scream and not only from pain. Often women scream with pleasure! To be honest, women themselves sometimes do not know why they scream. That is why the question is not really about “why they shout.” Some element living in the body requires manifestation. This is what is reflected in the female physiological cycles, unexpected changes in mood, emotions and even inferences.

A woman in childbirth becomes not a social being, but a biological one. Childbirth is an exam for remembering the lessons of nature, for realizing the abilities of the nature of the body. Those abilities that have been formed for millions of years and gave us such a perfect biological being – a representative of the world of mammals, capable of bearing and giving birth to a human child. Let’s look at the physiology of our body a little differently, more realistic, even if it will be unusual for many of the fair sex. And then, objectively evaluating the reflection in the mirror, we will see there a wonderful creature of our “species” – bald monkeys with unique abilities that were originally laid down by nature in the body. Another question is that we, the descendants of those same “monkeys”, have a very developed fantasy. Therefore, most women imagine themselves as doves, swans, or angels – with or without wings, who do not know how and do not want to give birth.

We have created a social environment as a kind of comfort zone. But on the other hand, it limits our own possibilities. Parents told us from childhood – do not run, do not jump, do not scream! Spontaneous manifestations of vital energy in a child are very uncomfortable for a conserved person. Therefore, when coming to the maternity hospital, it is enough for a woman to hear in her address – “do not shout!” – and she won’t even think about screaming, because “it’s not customary here, it’s indecent to scream.” Yes, she has long forgotten how to hear and express the needs of her body, pulling on a mask from a photo from a glossy magazine. But if the body turns out to be stronger than external prohibitions, and in childbirth a woman begins to make sounds, this is perceived by medical personnel as a negative factor. Of course, imagine, in a maternity hospital, where up to 30 births take place per day, all women will scream …. You understand that the doctor’s desire to use epidural anesthesia will be the most peaceful solution in this situation. To be honest, for me, as a midwife who knows well the experience of both home and hospital obstetrics, pain relief in childbirth is perceived as a greater boon for the medical staff than for the woman giving birth herself. Dear women, I am in no way infringing on your right to make a hole in your spine in order to stop perceiving your own body language. My irony concerns precisely those births that are called physiological. Childbirth in which there is no opening of the cervix, that is, childbirth “pathological”, requires treatment, one of which should be epidural anesthesia. That is, we must remember that this is a method of treatment, this is for sick women!

The natural manifestations of the body in childbirth are always spontaneous. A woman in childbirth, feeling safe, showing trust in the surrounding space and people, is able to hear the signals of the body. And this will help her give birth without suffering and experience a sense of satisfaction from the ongoing process. Spontaneous changes in body posture, breathing, desire to sound – this is a mechanism that allows you to easily and safely give birth to a child. If a woman is lying on her back and she is in pain, the body turns through this pain – change your position, find a comfortable position, set your breath to a new rhythm, sound, sing, move!

Probably, with the help of quantum physics or other scientific theories it is possible to explain the nature of vibrations or fluctuations of the field of the human body, and sound, as the vibration of certain frequencies. Sound is an organic manifestation or continuation of the energy of different frequencies of the human body. It is no coincidence that so often you want to accompany strong emotions with sound (and the groans of a sick person are also an opportunity to relieve pain). Sounds tune a person into a certain wave – type – of behavior, for example, a shout of “hurray” for a warrior who rushes into battle with the enemy. Experienced obstetricians know that if a woman sounds in childbirth, then a sign of a full opening of the cervix is ​​a deep low sound “AAAA”. And there is no need for confirmation with the help of an additional examination – the woman’s body said “the birth of a child is coming soon!”.

Childbirth is a process that changes a woman’s body and worldview. With the child, a new state of motherhood is born. And how joyful for the heart of a midwife when this is truly NEW for a woman, a joyful state. Or, more correctly, the state of New Joy. When a woman did not run away from pain in childbirth, but moved towards the unknown, even through overcoming fear, contrary to “sound” reasoning – have pity on yourself! – towards what is beyond the usual comfort, towards pleasure, previously unknown to the body.